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Hambo’s Shout Out To President-Elect Messiah Barry
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [11/05/08]

Yo, Barry!

Congratulations on your election. Among other things, it proves, conclusively, that a tan for all seasons and a teleprompter are all that’s required to fool enough of the people enough of the time.

Do you plan to get that pesky 22nd Amendment repealed, immediately, or do you want to start with that politically inconvenient 1st Amendment and work your way up to number 22? No, don’t tell me, I want to be surprised.

Now that you’ve mobilized America’s parasite horde into a formidable political movement and rode their brain dead, Messianic devotion all the way to the Oval Office, there are a couple things that you need to know. Since your Messianic devotees won’t tell you, and the MSM meatheads are afraid of losing their place in the line to give you a Broadcast Blowjob, I’ll do the honors.

1) When you’re President, voting “PRESENT” won’t cut it.

2) When you’re President, everything that happens on your watch is YOUR FAULT. If you doubt me, have a long, heart to heart, chat with your predecessor, Vicente W. Bush.

3) The unrequited ‘need’ of your parasite punk supporters is infinite. On the other hand, the willingness of American achievers to become slaves for those parasites is LIMITED. The achievers are already up to speed on this one, but, when your parasites figure it out, it’s going to get ugly.

4) You can’t surrender your way to victory, but I expect you to give it the old college try anyway. The Jihadikazes want to destroy us and, with you in the Oval Office, that task becomes much, much, simpler for them. You can try to blame Bush, Cheney, or the Cookie Monster, but you will know, and I will know, that it's you, Messiah Barry, who handed them victory on a silver platter. Your supporters might forgive you, but history, won’t be as kind.

Despite the fact that you’re the most dangerously unqualified man to win the presidency, you won fair and square. I’m trying to be a man about that, but my thrilled spitless just isn’t up to the challenge.

DIAFYMRB

Hambo

P.S. When you visit the Free State of PIG - required reading for neo-Marxist legends in their own mind - you’ll notice that we haven’t taken down the Hambo for Prez banner. Why? Because, with someone like you stinking up the Oval Office, America will soon be ready, willing, and eager for a POTUS like ME.

That’s right, Barry. I’m already throwing down the gauntlet and retooling for President-elect Hambo in 2012.

Borrowed Guest Commentary
Source: Neal Boortz’ Blog [10/31/08]

[Neal Boortz unmasks that ‘guy who lives down the street’, Bill Ayers, and his radical Educrap agenda.]

REVOLUTION THROUGH EDUCATION
Yesterday on the program we had a caller Jose. He brought up a lot of interesting points about Barack Obama and Bill Ayers ... and he believes that we have already begun a Marxist revolution in America – similar to that of Latin America. And he believes that this is happening through our government education system.

Now, it only took a 2-second Google search to find a speech that Bill Ayers made in Venezuela in 2006 at the World Education Forum. Before I give you some of the highlights, I want you to keep a few things in mind. According to Barack Obama, Bill Ayers is "just a professor of English in Chicago" and "a guy who lives down the street." Now if this man was "just" a professor, why is he being invited by Latin American dictators to speak at a World Education Forum? Bill Ayers is more than a professor; he is an icon for those hoping to revolutionize the American government education system.

I also want you to keep in mind that Bill Ayers and Barack Obama worked together on education reform in Chicago. We know the story ... Obama was the chairman of the board of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, serving with Bill Ayers. This $50 million fund awarded grants to groups that were trying to improve inner city education. And how did it do that ... not by giving money to the schools, but by giving money to other groups like the Small Schools Workshop. Ever heard of that? Well when Barack Obama was the chairman of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, he approved hundreds of thousands of dollars for this workshop ... which was an organization led by Bill Ayers and Michael Klonsky -- former chairman of both Students for a Democratic Society and the Communist Party (Marxist-Leninist). These are the people who Barack Obama thought would be best equipped to help the ailing inner city schools of Chicago.

There is so much more to this, folks. But it is completely beyond the understanding of government educated myrmidons who swoon at the sight of a "Change We Can Believe In Sign" ready for them to waive like a fool at some Obama rally. What I am driving at is that we know how much government education reform means to Barack Obama. And Bill Ayers was right by his side and a benefactor of Obama's support. We also know that when it comes to education in this country, as President, Barack Obama wants to make sure that your children are educated by the government. Vouchers? No way. Private schools? We'll see. This is a man who believes it is the government's job to educate your children ... and in his past the "educators" that Barack has turned to have been the likes of Bill Ayers.

Now what does Bill Ayers think about education and the United States? Let's return to that speech he made just 2 years ago at the World Education Forum in Venezuela.

I began teaching when I was 20 years old in a small freedom school affiliated with the Civil Rights Movement in the United States. The year was 1965, and I'd been arrested in a demonstration. Jailed for ten days, I met several activists who were finding ways to link teaching and education with deep and fundamental social change. They were following Dewey and DuBois, King and Helen Keller who wrote: "We can't have education without revolution. We have tried peace education for 1,900 years and it has failed. Let us try revolution and see what it will do now."
I walked out of jail and into my first teaching position—and from that day until this I've thought of myself as a teacher, but I've also understood teaching as a project intimately connected with social justice ...

Totalitarianism demands obedience and conformity, hierarchy, command and control. Royalty requires allegiance. Capitalism promotes racism and militarism – turning people into consumers, not citizens. Participatory democracy, by contrast, requires free people coming together voluntarily as equals who are capable of both self-realization and, at the same time, full participation in a shared political and economic life ...

Venezuelans have shown the world that with full participation, full inclusion, and popular empowerment, the failings of capitalist schooling can be resisted and overcome ...

Venezuela is poised to offer the world a new model of education– a humanizing and revolutionary model whose twin missions are enlightenment and liberation.

When it comes to our government education system in this country, it might not even matter if Barack Obama is elected in this country. But under Barack Obama, I know that I can expect more federal government and less choice for parents.

Hambo’s Official Halloween Rant
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [10/25/08]

Halloween is looming on the near horizon, and, as usual, every whining pissant is getting his, her, hisher, or its panties wadded over what seems to be an essentially harmless excuse for kids to have a good time. If you’re one of these whiners, and haven’t reached critical mass on your Night of the Candy Muggers angst, here is Hambo’s Handy Starter Set of Halloween Whines:

* It’s Satanic, demonic and spreads a vile form of supernaturalism, by luring unsuspecting tykes to the dark side with candy and other tasty treats.

* I’m a Wiccan, so seeing Moonbeam packing a broom, decked out in her witch’s garb, and sporting a hooked nose gives me a boo-boo. It’s ‘demeaning’ and qualifies -TA DA - as "hate speech".

* I’m a Fat Nazi with nothing better to do than worry about clueless, candy-dispensing, adults enabling tykes from sea to shining sea to glut themselves on egregiously unhealthy sweets. This could turn them into a generation of a double-wide loads whose butts are so big they make Kim Kardashian’s celebrated caboose seem puny.

* I’m one of those ‘think of the children’ killjoys, who worries that the scary - fright night - aspects of Halloween might scar little Rocket Boy and Moonbeam for life. It’s an unacceptable, unnecessary, assault on their fragile psyches.

* I’m a sex-phobic prude, who is outraged over the costumes worn by Moonbeam and her wenchlet pals. These so-called costumes are egregiously skimpy and make them look like brazen hussies.

* I’m a Messiah Barry worshiping Marxist who knows that Halloween is just another excuse for dastardly capitalists to pick the pockets of unsuspecting consumers.

While you pour over this list and pick one, or more, which suits your needs, I’ll get rolling with my annual Halloween tantrum.

Tis the season, and we are already reading those frantic rants from assorted true believers about the evil Halloween inflicts on "the children". They whine that Halloween is a dastardly Satanic plot to lure unsuspecting children to the dark side and, ultimately, an extra crispy hereafter. It's not going to happen, so don't even think about it. Tykes of all ages like Halloween because it gives them a chance to play let's pretend. It's about imagination and fun, period.

If there's a dark underbelly to Halloween, it's all about human nature, not demonic influences. It works this way: Painfully aware that daughter Moonbeam's sudden burning need for an iPod traces back to the fact that Moonbeam's best friend Susie just got one from her indulgent mommy, Moonbeam's mom plots her revenge. When little Susie shows up dressed as the Princess in some kid flick, Moonbeam's mom reaches for that special Susie treat, a 100,000 calorie candy bar that will put Susie's cholesterol into orbit, and give her a sugar high that will make her hyperactive for the next three weeks. It's not a perfect revenge, but it's damn close. Susie will survive, unscathed; the jury is still out on her mom's fate.

Halloween is about kids and laughter. Come Halloween, I’ll be out on my front porch manning the arcade class popcorn machine, because one day a year my home is known by tykes near and far as "the popcorn house". I’ll allow myself the rare pleasure of watching excited kids get a tad giddy over a small bag of freshly popped popcorn and some traditional Halloween decor. They enjoy dressing up and I enjoy meeting them. That, Sporty, is the essence of Halloween. If you see something sinister in making kids happy, then it’s time to increase the voltage on your shock treatments.

Are we all on the same page now, Halloween sucks Sparky, or do you need me to come over there in explain it to you, personally?

The Obamanation
Source: Memorable Hambo Meltdown [10/18/08]

There are some givens, some ‘like it or not this is going to happen’ shit, that are inevitable under the forthcoming Obamanation, as the scribes at World Net Daily call it. Just to get this crap out of my system, here are a few of the obvious, forthcoming, Barry Obama attractions.

This preview of hell is based on one, egregiously ignored fact: You don’t name a reeking turd like Barry ‘Messiah’ then limit his inspired rule. He’s their Marxist Messiah and that’s a LIFETIME position. That’s why November 4th is, if the neo-Marxist Obamatons get their way, the last presidential election in your lifetime. In fact, after Barry cements his hold on power, he’ll give himself dictatorial powers (think Stalin, Mao, Kim Jong-il, Castro). From the onset, he’ll sense the danger from below and deem elections, at any level of government, much too dangerous. Instead, the Messiah will seed all levels of government with his hand-picked, properly conditioned Marxist minions. He will, quite simply, permanently, cut we the people out of the loop. Impossible you say? I tend to disagree.

* The first casualty of the Obamanation will be the truth.
It has no place in his gulag and it will be chased, hounded, and expunged wherever it dares to crop up. We already know that we won’t hear the truth from our Elected Tormentors. They’ll be too drunk on power to be bothered. We also know that we won’t get it from the News Nitwits, who will be spouting the Messiah’s official party line, throughout the decades of Messiah Barry’s tyrannical rule. We won’t get it from talk radio, which will be expunged by a renewed ‘Fairness Doctrine’ during the opening days of Messiah Barry’s tyrant for life tenure. You won’t even get it here on the Internet, because, it too will be fitted with a fairness doctrine muzzle to shelter Messiah Barry’s tender ears from things he doesn’t want to hear. You won’t even hear it from your friends and neighbors, because Messiah Barry’s roving gangs of goons, his Truth Squads, will have Quislings lurking behind every tree, in every neighborhood.

* The second casualty of the Obamanation will be the United States Constitution.
Limited, clearly defined, powers, the supremacy of we the people, the right to keep and bear arms, plus the right to free speech have no place in the Obamanation. But they’re just collateral damage in Messiah Barry’s battle to expunge the Constitution’s most pernicious smack at his messianic regime. He can handle the rest, but that damned Twenty-Second Amendment, which limits him to two terms in office, is clearly racist and has no place in Messiah Barry’s gulag.

Getting rid of that pesky Founding Fathers icon, the U.S. Constitution, isn’t has hard as you think. I think that Messiah Barry will borrow a page from Adolph Hitler’s playbook. No, not THAT page. I’m referring to the Reichstag fire, which allowed Hitler to rule by decree, during the ensuing ‘emergency’. After he deploys his armed head breakers, his Truth Squads, around the country, Messiah Barry will make his move. The tyranny will begin with another terrorist attack, probably one that will make September 11th pale by comparison. Ideally - in Messiah Barry’s twisted mind - the attack would be real, but that might not happen in the right time frame. (The right time frame for this is early enough in Messiah Barry’s first term to put any mid-term, or second term elections out of his misery.) If necessary, he will, like Hitler, simply manufacture the requisite terrorist attack. Once the dust from this attack has settled, Messiah Barry will declare the state of emergency, suspend the U.S. Constitution, and get down to his real agenda, "changing" his American gulag into the most repressive nation in human history.

What’s that? It can’t happen in America? It can, and it will, and it’s not as hard as you think. While we the people were asleep at the switch, the government which is supposed to be ours to command, subverted our control. Right in front of us, they used their death grip on our government schools to brainwash a critical mass of our fellow Americans. Now, with the groundwork laid, they are ready to put we the people out of their misery. I don’t know about you, but the ‘change’ I ‘hope’ for isn’t unrelenting Marxist tyranny on a mind-boggling scale. Messiah Barry is a Dumbo-eared Joseph Stalin with a spiffy tan.

Welcome to Messiah Barry’s gulag, PIGsters. If you think it sucks now, just wait until the real fun begins.

Parting shot: If everything unfolds as I just indicated, there’s one final given that can’t be avoided. Eventually, America’s hard core rugged individuals will mount an armed rebellion against this Marxist tyranny,. Liberty won’t die without one final battle. In this case, it won’t be the battle of ideas that I’ve always favored. It will be heavily armed sovereign individuals showing the Obamatons the ultimate reason for the second amendment.

Random Synaptic Activity
Source: Shallow Pagan Scribbler Thoughts [10/10/08]

The Chicago Way
The fun started, when a Chicago cop pulled over Alderman Tom Tunney and busted this Elected Tormentor for yammering on his cell blight while driving. Making no exception for this political hack, the cop did the right thing and made Alderman Tunney turn over his driver’s license, as the cell idiocy law requires.

Under normal circumstances, the cell idiot must pay the fine, before they get their license back. In this case, Alderman Tunney phoned Town Hall District Commander Gary Yamashiroya and complained about the egregious misuse of limited police resources in busting cell idiot drivers. As a result, Cmdr. Yamishiroya ordered one of his officers to return Alderman Tunney’s license, immediately. Game, set, match? Yes and no.

Cmdr. Yamashiroya was subjected to an internal police department investigation for favoritism. Although cleared, he was reassigned to different post in the department. While he’s settling in at his new post, he’ll be very interested in the new ordinance which Mayor Daley just introduced. If enacted, it would allow motorists pulled over for violating the city’s highway cell idiocy law to keep their license.

File this one under "some are more equal than others" in your Windy City archives.

Tommy Calls it a Day
Recently, we told you about Tommy "Dodger Blue" Lasorda being tabbed for Grand Marshall duty at San Francisco’s Italian Heritage Parade. You’ll recall that one Bay Area hackette, Supevisor Michele Alioto-Pier, had a hissy fit over it and pooped out a resolution demanded that Tommy be dumped like a bad habit.

This week, Tommy pulled the plug on the gig, citing the Dodgers presence in the baseball playoffs. Despite that, he’s not exactly thrilled over the fuss this hackette kicked up:

"I'm not going to go. They made a big thing out of it," Lasorda said today as he watched the Dodgers' batting practice in preparation for their game against the Philadelphia Phillies...Asked if the episode bothered him, Lasorda said, "Sure it did, putting up a resolution to get me not to be the grand marshal. How would you feel? I wanted to do it because I love San Francisco, I really do. I love the city. We have a rivalry there. What the hell? That's the way it is." (S.F. Chronicle)

Let’s be real Tommy. You might have a warm fuzzy feeling for the Blight By the Bay, but they’re not thrilled with you and your Dodgers. You made the right call, dude. There’s no future in becoming the latest Frisco crime statistic.

Best Hambo Meltdown of the Week
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [10/01/08]

[When he dished up this one, he even put a warning label on it. We’ll dispense with that foolishness and cut to the chase.]

Last Rites

It’s time to buy the shrouds, invest in some burial plots and start planning for the funerals. It’s time to get ready to shovel dirt over American liberty, because, piece by piece, it is flat-lining.

This week, we’re disconnecting the life-support and allowing a comatose capitalism to breathe its last. Rarely understood, egregiously unappreciated, capitalism, the engine of our liberty, is dead in America. Once a robust force that made America unique among the nations of the world, we the people did nothing to save it from a death by a thousand cuts at the hands of our Elected Tormentors. Never sick a day in its life, capitalism died from neglect, when we the people turned our backs on it.

With capitalism dead and buried, the rest of our inalienable individual liberty can’t survive. Tyranny, Marxist tyranny, looms on the near horizon, in the form of America’s very own Big Brother: an empty suit with messianic delusions of grandeur, Barack “Karl Marx rocks my world” Obama. Borrowing from Orwell, Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Marx, Messiah Barry Obama is poised to seize Lady Liberty by the throat and choke the life out of her, while his rabid Obamatons cheer.

* His truth squads are painfully familiar to students of history and the surviving members of the greatest generation. In bygone days, they were known as Hitler’s brown shirts, a notorious army of head breaking thugs who silenced any dissent via brute force. It’s a bitter irony that this assault on Free Speech is perpetrated in the name of ‘truth’.

* Already adept at Big Brother’s doublespeak, Messiah Barry “Big Brother” Obama is gearing up to unleash his own Ministry of Truth on the last vestiges of our Free Speech. Armed with a robust new version of the Fairness Doctrine, Big Brother Obama will silence his critics, with a frontal assault on Talk Radio. At the same time, he will expand the powers of Ministry of Truth (the FCC) to give him utter and complete control over the last refuge of Free Speech, the Internet.

* Empowered by his rabid Marxist cronies in Congress, Big Brother Barry will find a suitable spot to bury the United States Constitution, giving him unlimited powers to suspend those pesky liberties.

* Emulating Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Kim Jong Il, Big Brother Obama will, by acclamation from his Marxist comrades in Congress, appoint himself Tyrant for Life.

* Disarmed, dispirited, and coerced into silence, a critical mass of we the people will shed their troublesome individuality and embrace their new Marxist Messiah. Those unflinching few who refuse to love their new slave master will vanish in the dead of night and none of the mindless zombies they leave behind will even miss them. Welcome to Big Brother Obama’s ‘re-education’ camp, PIGsters. It’s not a fate worse than death, because all your friends will be there with you.

I could go on, but it’s hard to type when I’m trying to shove Old Betsy’s barrel down my throat. I’d love to tell you that this dark vision can be blamed, primarily, on a very crappy day, but I can’t. I’d like to tell you I’ve been spending too much time in Glenn Beck’s special, suicide-inducing circle of hell, but I can’t do that either. I am convinced that these, and much worse, things lie in our immediate future. I just don’t see any way to avoid it.

McCain-Palin were never going to waltz into the White House, but, for a time, it appeared like they had a chance. That, I’m sorry to say, was wishful thinking. The Demoncrats are putting the lessons they learned in 2000 and 2004 to good use. The Demoncrats dirty tricks squad has put the fix in, every place, every way, possible, from goose-stepping Truth Squads to same day, bring your dead granny, registration and voting. That made the road to victory bumpier, more treacherous, than usual, but not impossible. The Big Brother Obama loving MSM has smeared Sarah Palin and much of their muck seems to be sticking, but that, too, need not be fatal. The death blow has been - will continue to be - delivered by McCain and Palin themselves. They managed to make themselves the ‘me too’ candidates, by failing to map out a distinct, liberty-intensive vision for America.

I have seen the future, PIGsters, and it SUCKS! By all means vote on November 4th, because it’s likely to be the last free election held in this land conceived in liberty.

Hambo’s Word Games
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [09/21/08]

I thought I had this free speech thing out of my system, after last week’s commentary [More Sounds of Silence, 09/20/08]. I was, obviously, wrong. If words like "civilized", "developing nations" and "brainstorming" are condemned, because they give the chronically-offended a boo-boo, where are the limits?

Eventually, I wondered if there’s any word that doesn’t offend, someone. Seeking that answer, I challenged myself with the three most innocuous words in the English language: "The", "A", "Is". Could I render these words ‘offensive’, ‘oppressive’, or was I headed for bitter defeat?

Here are my entries for these commonplace terms:

"The"
Oppresses the chronically indecisive by limiting their options.

"A"
Oppresses the Educrat who got fired during that nasty grade-inflation scandal. Also oppresses the grade inflatee, who learns, the hard way, that all ‘A’s are not created equal.

"Is"
Oppresses Demoncrats who don’t know what the meaning of ‘is’ is. Also oppresses the VRWC who still remember their Quixotean Quest to dump Bubba.

With those in the bag, I reeled off the following examples of unexpectedly ‘oppressive’ words:

"Work"
Oppresses the chronically unemployed. It also oppresses the egregiously lazy.

"Lazy"
Oppresses the differently energetic who view it as an attack on their fondness for leisure.

"Rich"
Oppresses those who are vilified for having deep pockets. Oppresses the chronically needy who want to empty them. The Korrectnik-approved word is "exploiter".

"Poor"
Oppresses the have nots, by rubbing their faces in it. A more acceptable term is Wealth-challenged.

"Food"
Oppresses lard asses, dieters, and size zero starve-a-holics.

"Diet(er)"
Oppresses lard asses, dieters, and food-wrangling capitalists.

"Home"
Oppresses ‘housing-challenged’ urban campers and gassed to the gills meatheads who would love to go there, but can’t remember where the blasted thing is located.

"Childish"
Oppresses the chronically juvenile. A more suitable description is ‘behaviorally nostalgic’.

"Tote Bag"
Oppresses women in male-dominated third-world cultures, who think it’s a snarky way of defining their role in life.

"Beauty (Beautiful)"
Oppresses the genetically gifted who want to be admired for their mind. Oppresses the butt ugly, for OBVIOUS reasons.

"Mom"
Oppresses orphans, and tykes with two daddies.

"Dad"
Oppresses orphans, and wenchlets named ‘Heather’ who have two mommies.

"Sex"
Oppresses Mecca Maniac (alleged) males, avowed celibates, womyn, the socially-challenged, sheep, the FCC, L. Brent Bozell III, and little Donny Wildmon.

"Water"
Oppresses the drought-stricken, aqua-phobics, and denizens of the a city in a hole by the sea called the Big Easy.

"Dike"
Oppresses GLAAD BAAGs who flunked spelling. Besides, it ‘sounds like that OTHER word’.

More Sounds of Silence
Source: Hambo's Hammer [09/20/08]

"Old Masters"
Deemed ‘sexist’, this one gives hypersensitive womyn a boo-boo. The approved term is "classic artists".

"Black"
Deemed racist, if allowed to stand alone, it’s deemed marginally acceptable, when used with other words like "black peoples" or "black communities".
[We’re hoping this won’t force is to abandon a PIGish favorite "black flag".]

"Immigrants"
Somehow this has ‘racial overtones’, but you can’t prove it by me.

"Developing Nations"
Steeped in prejudice it - GASP - implies a comparison with more prosperous, DEVELOPED countries.

"Civilization" & "Civilized"
It’s replete with "racist overtones that derive from a colonialist perception of the world".

"Seminal" & "Disseminate"
Since they are derived from the word ‘semen’, both give womyn a painful "sexism" boo-boo, by implying a ‘male-dominated view of the world’.

"Chinese Whisper"
Never heard of it? Join the club, but it’s banned as ‘racist’ so don’t lose any sleep over it.

"Man on the Street"
If you don’t know this is egregiously sexist, I’m shocked, shocked, I tell you.

"Brainstorming"
Deemed a frontal assault on epileptics, this term was banned by one ridiculously Korrect local council.

According to these Korrectniks - they have too much time on their hands - medicine is a boo-boo inducing rhetorical minefield:

Authors are also told to "avoid using medical labels" when writing about disabled people as this "may promote a view of them as patients".

In addition, [at least one list warns that] "special needs" should be changed to "additional needs", "patient" to "person" and "the elderly" to "older people".

"Able-bodied person" should be replaced with "non-disabled person", it is claimed. (Telegraph)

After reading this news story in a Brit fishwrap about more words that are being taken out of circulation to shield the hypersensitive, I had a few choice words to share with the readers of the London Telegraph:

Wouldn't it be much easier if the chronically offended simply printed a list of words that don't put their knickers in a knot?

For one thing, it would be a very SHORT list and thus easy for free speech venerating neanderthals, like me, to memorize.

There’s only one fitting way to wrap this one up. How? With a quote from the most underappreciated page on our cyberspace speed bump, ‘The PIG Doctrine’:

Since a word is nothing more than an ethically-neutral sequence of sound waves, it only has as much power for good or evil as the listener bestows upon it. There are no intrinsically 'offensive' sound waves, there are only hypersensitive listeners who are predisposed to being offended by them.

Musings
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/12/08]

Elevator, Elevator, We Got The Shaft
It’s not breaking news when you learn that CAIR - Council on American Islamic Relations - has been caught screwing over people. It’s just the sort of thing we’ve come to expect from these terrorist-loving CAIR punks. What makes this story PIG-worthy is the fact that the recipients of this CAIR shafting are the very Mecca Maniacs CAIR claims to represent.

World Net Daily served up these tidbits about the way CAIR shafted Mecca Maniacs, who were seeking CAIR’s help with citizenship delays:

‘...[CAIR] threatened to sue them if they complained to the media, according to a security watchdog group which has obtained internal CAIR documents.

The former legal director of CAIR's Maryland/Virginia chapter shook down Muslim hardship cases for thousands of dollars without providing promised services, officials with the Mapping Sharia Project charge.

CAIR, a nonprofit group, promoted the services of the employee, Morris L. "Jamil" Days, whom it publicly described as a civil-rights attorney, even after discovering Days was unlicensed and was fraudulently representing CAIR's clients.

CAIR's board allegedly covered up the scandal by paying defrauded Muslim families partial restitution payments while insisting they sign agreements releasing CAIR from legal liability, officials said.

The release threatens to sue them for "damages in the amount of $25,000 for the purpose of conducting meetings, workshops, press releases, flyers and the like to reverse ... the damage to CAIR's reputation caused by the recipient's breach" of the agreement to remain silent about the "incident."...’ (WND)

The Mecca Maniacs shafted by CAIR were so pissed that they went to a ‘watchdog group’ named Mapping Sharia Project with their story and all the supporting documentation at their disposal. Cowards to the core, CAIR has clammed up and is refusing to discuss it. Sooner or later, if this sore keeps festering, they’ll blame it all on a dastardly plot to discredit them. Discredit CAIR? That’s like calling the phrase "shit stinks" hate speech.

Bag Your Face?
Dutch Educrats are tired of all the peace and quiet, so, terminally bored, they have decided to light a fire under their resident Islamikazes. How? You’re going to be thrilled.

A proposed ban on Islamic face veils in Dutch schools should apply to everyone including parents and other visitors, the Dutch education minister has written in a letter to parliament. Minister Ronald Plasterk said the wearing of face-covering clothing was incompatible with the education process, because of the importance of non-verbal communication. He said the ban should apply not only to teachers and pupils, but also to all other staff and anyone visiting schools and their grounds. (Reuters)

Ideally, the Dutch government would like to ban the baggie throughout the country, but they, quite rightly, don’t think that will pass legal muster. Instead, they will ban face veils for civil servants and in schools, but the higher Educrap sector is excluded.

I’m no fan of the baggie. Its implications are noxious, when it comes to inalienable individual liberty. As much as I hate the baggie, I think that a Nanny State which bans it, is just as bad as a Nanny State which mandates it. I feel the Dutch government’s pain, but I think they got this one wrong. The baggie is just another symptom, and banning it won’t cure the disease: Mecca Mania itself.

Alternative Energy Financing
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/05/08]

The dirty little secret about alternative energy is the fact that it’s a red ink nightmare, without your tax dollars to balance the books. Without subsidies from kindly Uncle Sam, the T. Boondoggle Pickens class flim-flam artists, who promote wind, solar, and biofuels, are forced to go back to their old jobs at Shifty Bob’s Used Car lot.

Right now, these greeniac hucksters are in a sweat because Uncle Sam’s ‘investment and production tax credits’ are due to expire on December 31, 2008. Without that ‘greeniac’ tax credit, investors, quite rightly, deduce that these politically correct energy scams won’t make the cut in the marketplace.

‘...Congress let the credit expire in 2000, 2002 and 2004. In those three years, wind capacity installation dropped 93 percent, 73 percent and 77 percent, respectively, from the previous year.

Navigant Consulting, which advises on renewable energy technology, estimated that investments in wind and solar power in 2009 would amount to $26.6 billion with the credits; that would fall to $7 billion without them...’ (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

‘...Investment tax credits, available to homeowners and businesses that invest in solar power equipment, and the production tax credit, based on kilowatt hours of energy produced by wind, geothermal, biomass and other renewables, are only two of dozens of temporary tax breaks that die out after a year or two if Congress does not revive them.

This year Congress is considering tax-extenders worth more than $50 billion over the next decade. The production tax credit would cost $7 billion and two solar investment credits would cost $2.7 billion over 10 years...’ (Post-Intelligencer)

The most noteworthy fact about this alternative energy flim-flam is the glaring omission. Why are we lining the pockets of scam artists like T. Boonedoggle Pickens for wind farms when there’s a proven fossil fuel free energy source that’s not sucking from the federal treasury? I refer, of course, to nuclear power plants which are marketplace tested and viable, without subsidies NOW. The only problem with nuke power is the fact that it gives the neo-Marxist Demoncrats - and their tree hugger supporters - a major case of heartburn.

This pagan scribbler says screw T. Boonedoggle and the rest of these looters. If they can’t make the marketplace cut that’s just tough darts.

Parting shot: It’s noteworthy, that nobody interviewed by the alleged journalists even mentioned the magic ‘s’ word, subsidies. That elephant in the alternative energy room is, curiously, absent from this shoddy piece of journalism. An inconvenient truth? You better believe it, T. Boonedoggle Sparky.

Guest Commentary
Source: Neal Boortz Blog [09/02/08]

DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS?
Actually, it really shouldn't be all that important. As I've told you many times, our founding fathers felt that in times of peace 95% of all governance should come from the local, not the federal level. Not one of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence or who participated in the design of our Constitution ever dreamed that the federal government would become the out-of-control behemoth it is today. We should be far more concerned with local elections than federal. The main thing we should be looking to the federal government for is national security ... that and some roads and bridges. Our downfall was the lure of political power. The men and women we sent to Washington became so intoxicated – and addicted – to power that they constantly wanted more and more. So, they seized it. Simple as that.

How about a little reality check? Do you really have an understanding of just how much control this federal government we're now saddled with has over your daily life? This is important, folks. Take a look at Nancy Pelosi as she goes about her chosen task of saving the planet. Put Harry Reid right up there next to her and tell me how much you like what you see. Then ... add to the mix a president with a lifetime fascination with Marxism; a president that actively sought the endorsement of a fledgling communist party when he ran for the senate in Illinois just six years ago. Do you really like the picture that's emerging here?

Former deputy assistant treasury secretary Ernest Christian and former congressman Bill Frenzel wrote a short but very powerful column that appeared in the Wall Street journal last week. I read part of this column on the air yesterday and immediately the emails started flooding in asking that I include the parts that I wrote in today's Nuze. Glad to oblige. I'm thrilled that there are people out there who are actually alarmed at what they heard.

Frenzel and Christian reminded us that with the election of Barack Obama we will have the most left-wing, collectivist-minded president in our history. He, together with Pelosi and Reid, will be in charge of a government of immense power over your daily lives. Here is the list that Frenzel and Christian posted ... a list of the things that a "united president and Congress can, as a practical matter, do – plush much more."

* Take your money and give it to someone else.
* Tell businesses what to produce and sell, who to hire and what wages to pay.
* Set all commodity, wholesale and retail prices.
* Control all energy supplies.
* Control all communication networks and financial markets.
* Replace all private health care with a government system.
* Prescribe the curriculum for all schools.
* Determine which students get a slot in elite universities.
* Diminish political and other speech.
* Enroll all citizens above the age of 17 either in the military or in civilian corps for periodic instruction and service.
* Children could be required to spend the summer in government "youth" camps.

Sound a bit much? Hardly. There is absolutely nothing on this list that the Imperial Federal Government of the United States could not do today. Take the "youth" camps, for instance. Tell me ... if mandatory attendance laws are OK for regular school during the school year, just why wouldn't a mandatory attendance law be OK for the summer indoctrination camp?

It's time to wake up a bit folks. Have you ever heard Obama talk about strengthening local government and weakening federal government. How often have you heard him sing the praises of freedom? Do you think for one moment that this man has any true affection for the free market? This is an election that simply cannot be made on the basis of skin color of historical significance. Decades from now it is going to matter what Obama did to our freedoms and to our nation, not how well he could speak (with a script) or what color he was.

Let's hope the electorate matures --- a lot – before November rolls around.

Two Hambo Takes On The Oval Office Derby
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/29/08]

I Believe
When Messiah Barry says he wants to transform America, I believe him.

When Messiah Barry says he wants to change the way America works, I believe him.

When Messiah Barry says he wants to snuff out the voices of liberty on talk radio, I believe him.

When Messiah Barry says he’ll nationalize America’s healthcare industry, I believe him.

When Messiah Barry says he’ll impoverish the achievers with Draconian new taxes, I believe him.

When Messiah Barry says he’ll tax our oil companies into bankruptcy, I believe him.

When Messiah Barry says he will surrender to our sworn Jihadikaze enemies without putting up a fight, I believe him.

When Messiah Barry says he will make the failure a virtue and success a sin, I believe him.

I believe he’s deadly serious about flushing this country, and our inalienable individual liberty down the crapper.

I believe he’s deadly serious about imposing a Marxist dictatorship on America with Messiah Barry the self-appointed tyrant for life.

I believe that he is, without question, the greatest threat this nation has faced in its history.

Messiah Barry might not be the second coming of Joseph Stalin or Chairman Mao, but he’s frighteningly close, too damn close, if you ask me.

It’s A Girl
Okay, I admit it, ‘girl’ doesn’t cut it when it comes to Juan McCain’s VEEP choice, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. She’s a woman, and, based on her various exploits, might very well be a PIGgal. Like other bloviators, I must admit that Juan McCain did good on this one. The politics of this selection are exceptional. Who knew he had it in him?

Sarah Palin is a plus on several fronts:

* She seems to be a choice that energizes the Elephant Clan’s disgruntled conservative base.

* She’s young, energetic and seems to be very likeable. She comes very close to neutralizing Messiah Barry’s charisma advantage.

* She’s very appealing to the disgruntled Demoncrat womyn who supported Comrade Hillary.

* Her husband is an Eskimo and is a member of a union.

* She hits all the Elephant Clan hot buttons: family, gun ownership, pro drilling for our own oil, has a son in the U.S. Army.

* She appears to be a fearless, take no prisoners, competitor - her teammates on the school basketball squad named her Barracuda - who won’t be intimidated by Bidenman.

* She takes the ‘Old Republican Boys Club’ canard off the table.

* She threw the News Nitwits off their game plan. On the day when the News Nitwits intended to worship the Messiah’s ascension, the only topic of conversation is McCain’s VEEP choice. DOH! Messiah Barry's ascension speech was relegated to a footnote.

The downside, as stated by the usual suspects - from both parties - is that she’s an untested political bush leaguer who is a heartbeat away from the presidency. This complaint is especially important, given Juan’s age. I get this one, but favor a very ‘green’, real American like Sarah Palin over a very ‘green’ Marxist Messiah. Another complaint is that this is another Juan McCain gimmick. Very true, but this entire election is about gimmicks, because neither of the Oval Office candidates has the right stuff to do the job.

Governor Palin seems to change the prevailing political landscape. Is she enough to tip the balance in Juan’s favor? Is she enough to overcome my major issues with Juan McCain? The answers to both questions hang in the balance. It’s too soon to tell how she will impact the final result. One thing is already certain. Based on the panic among the Messiah Barry Broadcast Blowjob Brigade, Sarah Palin makes this a much tougher fight than the Messiah wanted or needed. That contention will be verified when we watch the News Nitwits do their utmost to assassinate Governor Palin’s character.

Sarah Palin gives the right people heartburn. That, by itself, is enough to make this pagan scribbler welcome her to the national political scene.

Parting shot: The knock on Sarah Palin is that she’s not ready for Oval Office prime time. That might be true, but it misses the essential point. Which would you prefer a heartbeat away from the presidency? Do you want a reality-insulated, liberty hating pissant who has spent most of his adult life swilling from the public trough in the D.C. Zip Code of the Twilight Zone? Or, do you want a REAL American who isn’t tainted by the Beltway Bull Crap?

I disagree with Sarah Palin on numerous key issues, but, if you forced me to choose. I trust her to do more to safeguard my liberty than Bidenman, Messiah Barry or, for that matter, Juan McCain, all of whom have fatal flaws when it comes to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Random Synaptic Activity
Source: Shallow Pagan Scribbler Thoughts [08/22/08]

Smiting Needed
A smiting is the nicest fate that should befall the rat f-ing bastards who deploy those automated telemarketing calls. I hate them and would, if I could track them down, unflinchingly, give them a high caliber introduction to Old Betsy’s pumped up brother, Big Bang. Telemarketers are lower than whale crap and automated call wranglers are even lower than that.

Despite the fact that I hate these bastards, and would eagerly dance on their grave, I am not the least bit thrilled that Uncle Sam’s regulation bonkers retards - the job for life asshats in the FTC - are gearing up to ‘do something’ about what they named ‘robo-calls’:

‘...the Federal Trade Commission today basically outlawed such calls. Specifically, the FTC changed its venerable Telemarketing Sales Rule (TSR) to prohibit, as of Sept. 2009, telemarketing calls that deliver prerecorded messages, unless a consumer has agreed to accept such calls from a given caller/seller.

Between now and 2009, telemarketers must provide an obvious, easy and quick way for consumers to opt-out of any call, the FTC said. Such an opt-out mechanism needs to be in place by December 1, 2008. The change will not affect your ability to continue to receive calls that deliver informational prerecorded messages - notifying you, for example, that your flight has been cancelled, or that you have a service appointment. Such purely "informational" calls are not covered by the TSR because they do not attempt to sell the called party any goods or services, the FTC said...’ (Network World)

If you’re hoping this exempts you from robo-calls from your local political pissant, get over it. That annoying bull crap is ‘protected speech’ and outside the FTC’s control. So be it.

In a true marketplace environment, some bored genius with too much time on his, her, hisher or its hands would come up with one, or more, electronic countermeasures that would give the outraged robo-call victim a way to strike back. There must be some gizmo that will give these telemarketing asshats the bitch-slap that they so richly deserve. If you’re out there, Einstein, get your butt in gear and get ‘er done, NOW.

Getting real about monopolies
The oft repeated canard about monopolies is that a company with deep pockets will sell its goods below cost to drive out competition. Once they own the market, the monopolists will, allegedly, jack up the prices again to recoup their losses. Big, big fun, but it rarely works that way.

Citing a book, Professor John R. Lott’s "Freedomnomics: Why the Free Market Works", Walter Williams points out that the most relentless abuser of monopolistic power is - TA DA - Uncle Sam:

A far more successful means to monopoly wealth is for businesses to enlist the aid of congressmen to form a collusion. Classic examples are the dairy industry, which uses the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Federal Milk Marketing Orders to set statutory minimum prices, or the Gasoline Retailers Association using state law to do the same or the sugar industry using Congress to establish quotas on foreign sugar imports.

Professor Lott's chapter "Government as Nirvana" highlights examples of government predation. When the U.S. Postal Service raised the price of first-class mail in 1999, it reduced its price for domestic overnight express mail from $15 to $13.70, even though it was losing money at $15. The Postal Service was facing stiff competition from FedEx and UPS overnight services and wanted to keep its market share.

During the 1980s, private meteorology firms saw a chance to make money by selling television stations specialized forecasts that weren't provided by the National Weather Service. The National Weather Service started providing television stations the same services for free, thus driving private forecasting companies out of business.

Predation is observed in higher education. UCLA is both Lott's and my alma mater. It spends $40,000 per student but charges $6,522 tuition for in-state students. Such below-cost pricing gives public universities a significant competitive advantage over private universities. State universities have acquired many formerly private universities after driving, or threatening to drive, them out of business. Lott gives examples of George Mason University School of Law, University of Buffalo, University of Houston and University of Pittsburgh. In the case of University of Buffalo, the State University of New York reportedly threatened to open a public university across the street unless the University of Buffalo joined the state system.

Isn’t it interesting that those self-described paragons of virtue - our Elected Tormentors - are such monumental hypocrites, when it comes to wielding monopolistic power? Of course, their most notable monopoly is their monopoly on the ‘legal’ use of force to impose their will on sovereign individuals. If you want to stop monopolists, you need to begin with the most egregious offender, Uncle Sam.

Soundbytes
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/15/08]

Money-Grubbing Airline Asshats
With their fuel costs going through the roof, the airlines are frantically seeking new ways to squeeze a few more dollars out of their customers. Want to sit down on the flight? There’s a fee for that. Do you want a seatbelt? That will cost you, too. Want a bag of peanuts? Ka-ching! Want some water? Ka-ching! Their most telling charges include paying for access to overhead storage, paying for carry-on bags, paying for a pillow, paying for a blanket and paying for extra check-in luggage. There’s probably an extra charge if you need to use the emergency exit slides. What’s next? Coin slots on the bathroom doors?

With all these extra charges, the passengers are already feeling surly and far from thrilled spitless with the airlines. That’s why this latest outrage by American Airlines makes no sense whatsoever. Why beg for a public relations nightmare when you’re already on every rational adult’s ‘die in a fire, scumbag’ shortlist? I haven’t got a clue, but beg for it they did, when they charged two active duty soldiers headed for Iraq $100 and $300 for their ‘extra’ baggage.

These men are putting their lives on the line to defend our liberty and American Airlines tries to hustle them for a few extra bucks? It’s asinine, and likely to cost the airlines more in bad publicity than they might get from our warriors’ wallets. American Airlines is getting huffy and defensive about it and whining that the blowback is so unfair, since the military will (might, is more accurate) reimburse them for those extra baggage charges. Blah, blah, blah.

I’d be remiss, if I didn’t mention that the VFW is pressing hard to get the airlines, all of them, to cut the crap and stop squeezing these brave men and women, who are going in harm’s way. The VFW rates kudos for their efforts on behalf of our soldiers. PIG wishes them well in this fight which, from where I’m standing, looks to be uphill every step of the way. If you want to do something, take the time to give America Airlines a piece of your mind about this utterly asinine raid on the wallets of our warriors.

Twisting In The Wind
Despite T. Boonedoggle Pickens’ high priced sales pitch, wind energy continues to take its lumps. The tree huggers complain that the wind farms take an unacceptable toll on migratory birds who never knew what hit them. Greeniacs of the Teddy Kennedy stripe, are gung ho for wind farms in YOUR backyard, but won’t tolerate having one in theirs. Rational adults point out that, wind energy is not reliable enough to provide baseline power. Don’t even get me started on the fact that wind energy is a red ink nightmare, without those coffers filling government subsidies. As fun as all this sounds, it just got better.

Neal Boortz posted these juicy morsels on his blog:

Well it looks like Nancy Pelosi's small fortune in wind energy may be out the window. People are already complaining that wind farms are affecting their health. New research is showing that the low frequency noise and vibrations from wind turbines can have an effect on the inner ear, triggering headaches; difficulty sleeping; tinnitus, or ringing in the ears; learning and mood disorders; panic attacks; irritability; disruption of equilibrium, concentration and memory; and childhood behavior problems.

No ... not making this up.

Oh, and don't forget – just last week I told you about some clown out there who says that these wind farms are going to use up all the wind and change our climate. We never get tired of witnessing the miracles of government education, do we?

Neal is, as usual, an inspirational dude. A cutting edge thinker, he even offered some suggestions about future uses of wind farms. Curiously, Neal’s proposal doesn’t involve shoving one of those damn wind power rigs up T Boonedoggle’s poop chute. Despite that, we found this idea worth repeating:

I'm not buying it. I still like Royal's idea the best ... if these wind farms are also said to have an effect on the weather, why can't we use them to deter tornadoes or even hurricanes? Just build a bunch of wind farms off the coast of Florida and push all the hurricanes ... wait, did I just suggest building something off the coast for Florida? Never mind.

Maybe we need to stick a huge block of ice in front of those wind power rigs to fight America’s self-destructive love affair with ex-Messiah Al’s Global Warming brainfart? I’ll put Spike the Wonder Tyke on that one.

Pearls of Hambo Wisdom
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/08/08]

Sharing The Joy
Mahmoud al-Gilligan insists that Iran isn’t planning to build a bomb. All he wants to do is build a billion centrifuges to enrich uranium, but his need for it is peaceful. Honest injun. He swears that nuking Israel until their beanies glow is the farthest thing from his mind. Yeah, right, Jihad breath.

The pissy thing about Iran’s nuclear program is that Mahmoud is being very stubborn about it. Sanctions don’t seem to be the answer. Since Jihadikazes have a martyr complex, threatening to kill them seems to thrill the turbans off them. What can we do?

The Ruskies had the right idea when they offered to enrich uranium for Mahmoud, but al-Gilligan got very huffy about it. Obviously, he’s not willing to take just any old enriched uranium. He’s after a very special kind. That has everyone stumped, but not the Free State of PIG.

If it’s enriched uranium he wants, we know exactly what he needs. All we need to know is how many megatons of it he needs and where he wants the U. S. Air Force to drop it off for him. All you gotta do is ask, Mahmoud. It’s the least we can do to repay you for everything you’ve done for us.

Prophetic Words
In his signature role as Scotty on Star Trek, actor James Doohan was in a perpetual state of crisis. In each episode, he, once again, tried to keep that space going bucket of bolts tied together with spit, will power and, we suspect, his secret stash of duct tape. That’s why his most memorable lines always sounded so frantic:

"I’m giving her all she’s got, Captain."

"She can’t take any more, Captain."

"If you push her any more, she’s gonna blow, Captain.

"She can’t take any more...she’s gonna blow", are, as luck would have it, a fitting headline for Scotty’s room temperature adventures. Why? For the third time, the rocket tasked with carrying James "Scotty" Doohan’s ashes into space, has, turned Scotty’s memorable warnings into reality. That’s right, the rocket carrying Scotty on that last, lofty, mission blew up...AGAIN:

The demise of the Falcon 1 rocket five minutes after take-off from the Kwajalein atoll is thought to have been caused when parts of it failed to detach, causing it to explode. Its manufacturer SpaceX said it would investigate further. The spacebound funereal rites were organized by specialist firm Celestis, which arranges for ashes to be shot into outer space.

Also aboard the botched mission–-the third attempt to blast Doohan's ashes into space after similar crashes in 2006 and 2007–-were the remains of astronaut Gordon Cooper, a crew member of the Mercury 7 space shot launched in 1963. (News source unknown, but the facts have been verified independently.)

Fate has had more than its share of fun with a man who so doesn’t deserve this abuse. It’s time to cut the crap and beam him up into space, where he belongs.

Shiny Objects
Are we the only ones who don’t give a flaming crap about John Edward’s ‘well, DUH’ confession that he had an affair with the woman he was caught meeting, in that Sanctuary City of Angels hotel? Are we the only ones who don’t give a flaming crap who sired this woman’s out of wedlock offspring? Are we the only ones who aren’t distracted by this tidbit of raw, news nitwit meat? Apparently, because VRWC boom box babblers won’t shut up about it and neither will Barry’s broadcast blowjob brigade, which has - GASP - sidelined minute by minute Messiah mania to burn John Edwards at the stake.

This last outburst of John Edwards bull crap seems to serve one, and only one, purpose: booting Messiah Barry’s litany of foot in mouth blunders off the 24 hour News Nitwit cycle. The Messiah keeps stepping in it, but this Shiny John Edwards Object will give the Messiah’s minions ample time to pull Barry’s head out of his ass.

The only way this story becomes PIG-worthy involves the quality of the extra-marital booty. In this case, a horse-faced playmate doesn’t even get this Shiny News Nitwit Object to the starting gate.

Memorable Hambo Meltdowns
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [07/31/08]

"Fingers Crossed"
The instant a rational adult - or even a quasi rational one, like some Elephant Clan Elected Tormentors - mentions increasing the supply of energy, the Demoncrats spout the same talking points. "Drilling is not the answer..." blah, blah, blah.

After fitting the oil industry with horns and tail, the Demoncrats will start spouting mindless drivel about alternative energy sources. They will follow that up with a boatload of bull crap about ‘conservation’. They insist that our first, meaningful, step involves using less oil. That’s one of primary excuses behind the move on Capitol Hill to lower the speed limit to 55 mph, from sea to shining sea. It will save fuel, letting our oil stretch farther. There’s just one problem with that gas saving bloviating, they don’t really mean it.

As a matter of fact, Americans have cut back on their driving, significantly. Americans are driving fewer miles, because of high gasoline prices. Good news? Not exactly. Not for our Nanny State Nitwits.

Fewer miles driven means fewer gallons of gasoline sold. Fewer gallons of gasoline sold means fewer gas tax dollars go into Uncle Sam’s chronically empty pockets. Fewer gas tax dollars means fewer highway construction projects to warm the cockles of chad puncher hearts, IN AN ELECTION YEAR. The latest ‘the sky is falling’ panic attack inside the beltway is that the federal highway fund - kept afloat by those gas tax dollars - might run out of money before the year is over. That’s why there is so much hostility to Juan McCain’s federal gas tax holiday. That’s why there are serious rumblings on Capitol Hill about INCREASING the federal gas tax.

I know what you’re thinking, but the gas tax isn’t like a sales tax. It’s not a percentage of the price. It’s a fixed 18 cents a gallon (give or take), no matter how high, or low, the price per gallon rises or falls.

So, the next time you hear that Boxer bitch, or that turd Schumer - any of those festering sores on humanity’s butt - touting conservation, take a very close look. Ask yourself the essential question. Why do they all have their fingers crossed behind their backs?

"Handy Hambo Voter Guide"
The election season hurtles headlong towards the moment of truth. If you listen to so-called journalists, talking heads and political hacks, America’s future hangs in the balance. For those of you who insist on choosing between the government party’s rival wings, Hambo offers the following political clan factoids:

Donkey Clan (A.K.A. the Democrat Party)
Clan ideology: Relentless, damn the torpedoes, full-speed-ahead government growth.
Clan mantra: Individuals are fundamentally incapable of conducting their lives...the Nanny State does it better.

Elephant Clan (A.K.A. the Republican Party)
Clan ideology: Relentless government growth, lite.
Clan mantra: We’re the party of smaller government, eventually...sort of...if the time is ever right. It all depends on your definition of ‘smaller’.

Questions For Any Candidate Seeking Any Political Office:
Are you now, have you ever been, a government official/employee?
(A ‘yes’ answer is grounds for instant disqualification.)

Have you ever attended law school?
(Again, a ‘yes’ is grounds for instant disqualification, except for Judges and City, County, State or Federal Attorney, I.E. Attorney General)

Pagan Musings
Source: Shallow Hambo Thoughts [07/25/08]

Double Standards
He hangs his hat in Rockville, Maryland. His three teenage children attend Charles W. Smith Jewish Day School in Rockville, Maryland. The only home he owns is in Rockville, Maryland. So how in blue Demoncrat blazes does Congresspunk Robert Wexler qualify for a house seat in a FLORIDA district?

On paper - ONLY - he lives at his mother-in-law’s home in Delray Beach. That’s a good trick, since the community where mommy-in-law lives is deed-restricted for people 55 and over. How, exactly, does Bob sneak those three teenagers past the petty tyrants who infest the local homeowners association?

We’re told - by Bobby’s spokeshole - that Bobby’s antics are perfectly legal and we believe him. Why? Bobby is a Demoncrat and that, automatically, exempts him from the laws, regulations and rules of engagement that apply to mere mortals, like United States taxpayers and Republican Elected Tormentors.

Visions and Portents
Decades ago, long before Messiah Barry was a gleam in George Soro’s eye...decades before Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews and the rest of the mainstream media sluts started falling to their knees, to give Messiah Barry that nightly boob tube blowjob, Ayn Rand described the state of America in the 21st century.

She made the transition to room temperature, 26 years ago, but her words remain as a chilling legacy that clearly defines the battle being waged for this nation conceived in liberty:

● ‘....The basic and crucial political issue of our age is: capitalism versus socialism, or freedom versus statism. For decades, this issue has been silenced, suppressed, evaded and hidden under the foggy, undefined rubber-terms of “conservatism” and “liberalism” which had lost their original meaning and could be stretched to mean all things to all men...

● ...The goal of the ‘liberals’ -- as it emerges from the record of the past decades -- was to smuggle this country into welfare statism by means of single, concrete, specific measures, enlarging the power of the government a step at a time, never permitting these steps to be summed up into principles, never permitting their direction to be identified or the basic issue to be named. Thus, statism was to come, not by vote or by violence, but by slow rot -- by a long process of evasion and epistemological corruption, leading to a fait accompli. (The goal of the 'conservative' was only to retard that process.)’ Ayn Rand, ‘Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal’ (1966).

There’s little more for me to add to that. We’re groaning under the yoke of unrelenting statism and there’s no end in sight. In fact, with Messiah Barry on final approach to that Oval Office job, Ayn Rand’s worst fears about the fate of this once great nation are about to be realized.

When Messiah Barry becomes America’s tyrant for life, and he will, it’s going to make that unrelenting Jihad Jimmy suckage seem like ‘the good old days’. Maybe it’s time for Hambo to get Old Betsy primed for action, stock up on lots of ammo, then start scouting around for a suitable high perch where I can make that last stand.

Random Synaptic Activity
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [07/18/08]

Telling Tales Out of School
From our ‘terrors of technology’ file we serve up this tidbit from USA Today:

[Color Laser Printer] manufacturers are outfitting greater numbers of laser printers with technology that leaves microscopic yellow dots on each printed page to identify the printer's serial number — and ultimately, you, says the San Francisco-based Electronic Frontier Foundation, one of the leading watchdogs of electronic privacy.

The technology has been around for years, but the declining price of laser printers and the increasing number of models with this feature is causing renewed concerns.

The dots, invisible to the naked eye, can be seen using a blue LED light and are used by authorities such as the Secret Service to investigate counterfeit bills made with laser printers, says Lorelei Pagano, director of the Central Bank Counterfeit Deterrence Group.

You don’t need a quatrain from Nostradamus, to predict how this technology will be used. For example, the most likely use of this tattletale technology would be to expose political dissidents, whistle-blowers and anyone else who rats out their employers by copying and publishing materials their employers want to keep confidential. Holy unemployment, Batman!

Fair warning PIGsters. Be very careful what you copy on a color laser printer, because it can, and will, rat you out.

Dissension At The Ascension?
World Net Daily reports that at least two million Demoncrats are not thrilled spitless with the DNC and its blatant pandering to Messiah Barry’s every whim:

‘..."I hate to use this word but it's fascist, and that's the approach they're taking to silence any Hillary Clinton supporters," Will Bower, co-founder of PUMA/Just Say No Deal, an exploding coalition of voters who say they have raised $10 million in just days to pay down Clinton's campaign debt.

"Barack Obama wants to give his acceptance speech in a stadium because he intends to minimize any pro-Hillary supporter dissent. It's not because he wants to include more people. He knows that if they pull any shenanigans at convention, the Hillary delegates will walk out, and they don't want that to be seen or heard. They're bringing as many Obama supporters as they can to fill that stadium. It's fascism," he said...’

"The seeds of discontent for the birth of the PUMA/Just Say No Deal movement were planted during Barack's poor performances at the debates, the media assault on Clinton after Iowa, Obama's arrogance on the campaign trail, and the DNC's selective application of its own rules," Bower explained.

"We said we are not falling in line just because Obama and (David) Axelrod and the DNC were saying 'All right, this is over, let's all get behind Barack Obama.' There are plenty of us out here saying, 'No this is not over. You have treated us very unfairly and in fact, anti-democratically,'" he said.

Bower said Hillary supporters were so incensed with the DNC's action they wrote about it at their blogsites. The issue went viral, spreading rapidly across the Internet. One irate blogger came up with the acronym PUMA after blogging "Party Unity, My A**." The abbreviation eventually evolved into the puma cat logo used at multiple sites...’

‘...."We're letting the Democratic National Committee and other party leaders know that PUMA/Just Say No Deal members are serious. We're not going to take this lightly and we're prepared to vote for John McCain if need be."

Bower said he believes his group is creating an impact with the Democratic National Committee. "They are worried. They saw these past few weeks how much money we're still raising for Hillary Clinton. Originally they said 'Hillary has until the convention to pay off her debt if she wants to be on the roll call.' Well, then we started making money for her. And then they moved it up to July 15th. So we started making a lot of money for her."...’

"There is a movement afoot," Bower confided. "It hasn't hit the ground yet, but we want to target down-ticket Democrats who have been complicit in the DNC's dealings these past few months. You'll probably be hearing more about that soon. Some of Obama's original supporters are leaving him. Eight super-delegates left Obama this week. People are realizing Obama will be a dead weight to them and that's why these eight delegates have switched back over to Hillary's column. And I'm expecting there'll be more to follow." (WND)

Does this mean the Ascension is in danger? I doubt it, but, it probably means that the press card packing Obamatons will need to work overtime to make the Demoncrats look like ‘one big happy family’, during the August confab in Colorado.

Well, Duh
Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer [07/02/08]

Under the current rules of engagement, the FBI is banned from investigating U. S. Citizens, and other legal residents of the USA, unless they have a reason that will pass legal muster. That means evidence, or allegations, that a law has been violated. They are not empowered to ‘profile’ those who are ‘overrepresented’ within a certain criminal group. In other words, it’s easier to investigate visiting Lithuanians for terrorist activities than it is to focus on those most likely to be an Osama minion - Jihadikazes.

The Justice Department is, belatedly, looking at a policy change that would untie the FBI’s hands, when it comes to tracking down terrorists before they strike another target inside the USA. One workable tactic would allow the FBI to put together a profile to help them identify those most likely to be a member of a terrorist sleeper cell. Some of the elements that might make the ‘profiling’ cut include: access to weapons, travel to known terrorist hotbeds, military training, their race or ethnicity.

‘Attorney General Michael Mukasey acknowledged the overhaul was under way in early June, saying the guidelines sought to ensure regulations for FBI terror investigations don't conflict with ones governing criminal probes. He would not give any details.

"It's necessary to put in place regulations that will allow the FBI to transform itself ... into an intelligence gathering organization in addition to just a crime solving organization," Mukasey told reporters.

The changes would allow FBI agents to ask open-ended questions about activities of Muslim- or Arab-Americans, or investigate them if their jobs and backgrounds match trends that analysts deem suspect. FBI agents would not be allowed to eavesdrop on phone calls or dig deeply into personal data - such as the content of phone or e-mail records or bank statements - until a full investigation was opened. The guidelines focus on the FBI's domestic operations and run about 40 pages long, several officials said. They do not specifically spell out what traits the FBI should use in building profiles. (Post-Intelligencer)

There are, as expected, some protests from the usual suspects who worry that the FBI will resume its spying asshat antics from the J. Edgar Hoover era. Others - the Clown Posse on Capitol Hill - get catatonic whenever somebody dares to think the ‘p’ word, profiling. We can’t have the Jihadikazes feeling ‘picked on’, it might spoil their plans to blow the USA off this planet. With all those chad punchers in an uproar over profiling, our Elected Tormentors did what comes much too naturally. They played the money card:

Although the guidelines do not require congressional approval, House members recently sought to limit such profiling by rejecting an $11 million request for the FBI's security assessment center. Lawmakers wrote it that was unclear how the FBI could compile suspect profiles "in such a way as to avoid needless intrusions into the privacy of innocent citizens" and without wasting time and money chasing down false leads.

The denial of funding could limit the FBI's use of profiles, or "predictive models and patterns of behavior" as the government prefers to describe the data-mining results, but would not change the guidelines authorizing them. The guidelines would remain in effect until a new attorney general decided to change them. (Post-Intelligencer)

Congress seems to be saying that the FBI should limit its profiling to Jihadikazes who already bagged their 72 virgins via a successful attack on this nation. In a perfect world, the NEXT attack would teach these steaming congressional loads a deadly lesson by attacking Capitol Hill while congress is in session. That, unfortunately, appears to be the ONLY way some of these Jihadikaze coddling bastards will finally GET IT.

Hambo Hot Air
Source: This Week’s Memorable Pagan Scribbler Prose [06/27/08]

Barrynomics
The first new chapter is one that should delight Messiah Barry’s ‘daddy’, Karl Marx, since it is a frontal assault on capitalism. He ‘revealed’ this new wisdom, after some Elephant Clan hacks - including Juan "Do you want salsa with that citizenship, Chico" McCain - started listening to we the people. Wanting no part of this ‘develop our own energy supplies, damn it’ demand from we the people, Messiah Barry scuttled the time tested, reality based, law of supply and demand. The revealed wisdom of Messiah Barry is that increasing the supply of oil - of all energy - will have no effect whatsoever on the price. I’ve heard of the ‘new math’ but this ‘Barrynomics’ is a new kid on the block that dares to defy objective reality.

Going for the Green
Despite giving lip service to publically financed Oval Office campaigns, Messiah Barry has, once again, stuck his finger in the air and tested those fickle political winds. First, Messiah Barry looked at the pile of money available from the Nanny State funding pool. It was tempting, until Messiah Barry was distracted by the Jupiter size mountain of dead presidents available on the other side of the street, the side occupied by George Soros and his merry band of Marxists. That’s when Messiah Barry hoped he could keep fooling the Obamatons when he changed his mind about public financing for his bid to turn the White House into the Kremlin.

Race Card
Finally, Messiah Barry got in touch with his inner ‘brother’ when he launched a preemptive strike against the pachyderm punks, in general, and whitey in particular. Here are some hot off the parchment excerpts from this new Messiah Barry scripture:

"It is going to be very difficult for Republicans to run on their stewardship of the economy or their outstanding foreign policy. We know what kind of campaign they're going to run. They're going to try to make you afraid.

"They're going to try to make you afraid of me. He's young and inexperienced and he's got a funny name. And did I mention he's black?"

"We know the strategy because they've already shown their cards. Ultimately I think the American people recognize that old stuff hasn't moved us forward. That old stuff just divides us."

Thus sayeth Messiah Barry, if you question his experience, you’re a racist. If you challenge his platform as Marxist, you’re a racist. The only thing you’re allowed to say, no matter what this steaming pile of shit says, is "AMEN".

Hierarchy of U.N. Disapproval
We hear that the Black Helicopter Club is ‘applying pressure’ on Zimbabwe. Impressive? Maybe. Why don’t we review the Hierarchy of U.N. Disapproval, which was obtained through our top secret sources.

Frown
Frown and finger shaking
Stern memo
Stern memo and frown
Stern memo, frown and finger shaking
Regroup by letting everyone vent at a General Assembly whine-a-thon
Change the subject by serving up a Security Council resolution condemning Israel
Thunder ominously about American imperialism when Uncle Sam vetoes the resolution
Hold a press conference announcing "We did everything we could."
Reset disapproval meter back to "Frown".

Are we all up to speed on U.N. Disapproval now, new world order Sparky?

Islamikaze Obamatons
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [06/20/08]

By now, you’ve heard the sad story about two Islamikaze wenches who were heartlessly dissed when they attended a Messiah Barry miracle meeting in Michigan. Unlike their non-Islamikaze friends, who were invited to take up those coveted slots behind Messiah Barry, these two were flatly rejected. Messiah Barry’s acolytes, quite properly, concluded that having two Islamikaze women wearing a head scarf seated behind the Messiah would send the wrong message to the flyover country chad-punchers. When the women complained, afterwards, on camera, Messiah Barry apologized and invited them to join him, on camera, at a future rally. That, allegedly, was the end of it, aside from blaming the entire matter on whitey and those damn Republicans.

Thanks to Neal Boortz’s excellent Internet site, we now know the rest of the story about these two innocent, Islamikaze, Messiah Barry loving, lambs, who just wanted to be part of this exercise in American Liberty:

One of the girls, Hebba Aref, was an officer of the Muslim Student Association when she attended the University of Michigan in Dearborn, the Muslim capital of the US. This Muslim Student Association, by the way, was identified by the Chicago Tribune as "part of the American manifestation of the Sunni terrorist group, Al-Ikhwan Al-Muslimeen--The Muslim Brotherhood." So now we have this girl who is the officer of an organization that shares the same sentiments as the Muslim Brotherhood. At the time that Aref was an officer, the organization successfully demanded that the taxpayers of Michigan pay for Muslim students at the university to have footbaths. In addition, Aref was in charge of a program called Dawa from 2000 to 2003. This means that she was the officer in charge of converting others to Islam on her college campus. Welcome, Hebba Aref, to a position of honor at a future Obama rally.

And as for the other girl, Shimaa Abdelfadeel, she was the chair of an organization called SAFE at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Back in 2002, her organization hosted a Divestment Conference against Israel. To give you an idea of what kind of conference this was, the crowds' favorite chant was apparently "Annihilate the Jews!" Oh and the keynote speaker was a man by the name of Sami Al-Arian, who is a convicted Islamic terrorist. (Neal Boortz)

You can bet the proverbial agricultural endeavor that, when Jihadikaze wenches appear with Messiah Barry, none of their terrorist coddling views/antics will make the cut at MSNBC, CNN, or fair and balanced Fox News. In fact, the only place I’ve seen this reported is on Neal Boortz’s site, and, now, in PIG.

File this one in your Jupiter-size ‘inconvenient truths’ folder.

Passing The Ass
Source: Hambo’s Hammer Rant of the Week [06/16/08]

Apparently, Al Gore has transferred the symbols of his Messiahood to the new Messiah on the block, Barry O’Dumbo. Why else would all the News Nitwits be waxing orgasmic over a gas bag who is, quite frankly, YESTERDAY’S Messiah. No doubt, Messiah Barry accepted the official Messiah palm fronds, but we hear - through our top secret sources - that Messiah Barry refused to accept the official Messiah ass.

When Messiah Barry makes his procession into Washington D. C., on January 20th, he’ll be riding his own, carefully chosen ass, not a hand-me-down ass from former Messiah Al. I don’t blame him. Knowing where Al’s ass has been, would YOU want any part of it? If he has trouble finding a suitable ass for his gala procession, Messiah Barry need not worry. He could always ride Keith Olbermann, an alleged man who is, by any measure, the BIGGEST ASS we know.