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Because They Can
Source: PIG News Wire [11/07/08]

Groping In The Dark
When conducting a search at sea, one of the best weapons in the searcher’s arsenal is the flare gun. Once launched, the flare illuminates vast expanses of the area being searched. It also lets any survivor know that help is close at hand.

A flare, also known as a fusee, can be shot into the air to heights of up to 700ft, illuminating vast areas of land or sea for up to two minutes at a time.

They have been used by the MCA since the First World War and deployed by Britain's 3,200 Coastguard volunteers in hundreds of rescue missions along the UK's 10,200 miles of coastline.

They require no legal licence to keep or fire, but the MCA - a government organisation which co-ordinates search and rescue missions - requires at least one volunteer in each crew to be certificated in their use. (Daily Mail)

The flare is, quite simply, a proven lifesaver, but don’t try to tell that to the Brit Maritime and Coastguard Agency (MCA). The health and safety pinheads at the MCA think flares are egregiously dangerous and ‘could cause considerable injury’. No argument, but drowning has been known to be a ‘health hazard’, too. When pressed for data, the MCA spokesholes admitted that, to date, there isn’t a single documented incident where coastguard personnel had been injured using flares.

The 400 Coastguard rescue teams must use up, or turn in, their flares by the end of 2008. Instead, during their night searches, the Coastguard must use a flashlight, or night vision goggles, neither of which has the power to light up the sky like a flare.

I think that these health and safety obsessed MCA blockheads need a personal demonstration of a flare’s usefulness. They should be stranded at sea, at night, in a rubber life raft, then force to wait for some rescuers armed with penlights and night vision goggles to try and find them. That would give them a whole new perspective on flares, if they survive. If they die? I’m trying very hard to see a downside to that.

Food Nazi Fatheads
A Brit Food Nazi cabal - Waste and Resources Action Programme - is one of those ‘funded by the taxpayer, but not answerable to them’ obscenities which does all the Nanny State’s dirty work. Empowered to do anything that thrills them spitless, WRAP is sticking its Food Nazi nose into the lunch pail of Brit workers.

They’re shocked, dismayed and alarmed by the food choices which Brit workers make. They’re down with raiding the icebox to bring some leftovers for that lunchtime meal. But, don’t you dare think about buying a sandwich, instead. Why? Somehow, that sandwich gives Mother Earth a painful boo-boo.

The Waste and Resources Action Programme (WRAP) claims that throwing food away rather than eating it costs the public £5billion a year. Officials at the £80million-a-year quango said if the food were not wasted it would also save 18million tons of carbon dioxide emissions a year, the equivalent of taking one car in five off the road (Daily Mail)

How did they come to this amazing conclusion? They conducted a survey - Korrectnik speak for asking a leading question which yielded the answer they needed to substantiate their foregone conclusion - and the results ALARMED them. The ‘average worker’ buys a sandwich or dines out, one and a half times each week, giving business to the capitalists who run shops, cafes and coffee houses. So what? So all that leftover food in the refrigerator at home is, therefore, destined for an ignoble end in the local landfill. That, they say, contributes to the greenhouse gases, which give the Fat Cave Fathead a boo-boo. And now you know, the rest of the story.

No Way To Treat a Vintage Lady
With ages ranging from their late 60s to their mid 90s, the seven female pensioners have a lot of life behind them. Unwilling to pack it in and roll out the welcome mat for the Grim Reaper, they gather together on one of the four park benches near their homes in Mottingham, south London, for a chat. Given their age, and the toll it took on their hearing, their daily chats tend to be held at a high volume, allowing all participants to hear, participate. That, it seems, gives the punks running the local Housing Association a major case of heartburn.

These housing bullies labeled the women ‘troublemakers’, then ordered them to tone it down, or suffer the consequences. What consequences? The first level of old lady abuse would involve removing the park benches, where they convene for their chats. The second level of old lady abuse would, probably, involve nailing them for that favorite ploy of Brit Nanny State tyranny, anti-social behavior.

‘...[The] Broomleigh Housing Association are refusing to back down. Julie Schoon, assistant director of supported housing at Broomleigh, said: "As a registered social landlord we are responsible for ensuring that any complaints of noise nuisance or other forms of anti-social behaviour are acted upon. Following a number of complaints from residents over the last two years we have worked hard to try and mediate between those involved. We are very reluctant to remove any of the benches and would view this as a last resort. We are currently talking to residents and considering various solutions to try and resolve the issue." (Telegraph)

Do these venerable ladies talk a tad loud? Probably. Would it be very annoying? You bet. Would I try to make allowances? Hell yes. There must be some way to make everyone happy, without condemning the old ladies to ‘shut up, stay home, wait to die’.

Parting shot: If the ‘whining busybody’ isn’t already the symbol for J.O.E., it should be.

Nanny State Games
Source: PIG News Wire [10/31/08]

Prying Nanny State Eyes
Ohio hasn’t got a monopoly on officials who use the Nanny State’s coercive power to stick a nose where it doesn’t belong. It’s alive and well in 2008 and poised to take up residence in the Oval Office, but I digress.

The centerpiece of this Nanny State mini drama is a Bay State message board, RocklandNews, which allows Rockland (Mass.) residents to post news, carp about local issues, or spread some gossip. It is, apparently, a fairly harmless exercise in, the soon to be dead, right of free speech.

The fun hit high gear, at 7:58pm, on September 20th, when someone using the handle ‘WATCHER’ posted a timely warning:

"Not sure if it is true but heard there will be a sobriety checkpoint setup tonight on Market Street in front of Ocean State Job Lot beginning around 9 p.m. Beware!" (Boston Globe)

The checkpoint was, as predicted, deployed around 11pm and, during the 3 hours it operated, stopped 54 drivers: 9 were bagged and tagged for DUI, 2 others were bagged and tagged for other offenses. Game, set, match? Not exactly.

After doing a fast burn, a Rockland Police Lieutenant, Barry Ashton, made it his purpose in life to track down this "WATCHER" and expose his real identity. By October 15th, after violating a federal law which protects Internet privacy, Lt. Ashton struck back at "WATCHER" on the same forum:

‘...On Oct. 15, Ashton - "Capt Jack" in his frequent postings - went on the message board to decry the leak and report that a police investigation had determined that the warning about the checkpoint "came from a computer in the home of School Committee Chairman Mark Norris...’

‘...[N]ot long after Ashton's posting, Norris posted a response under his own name denying that the sobriety checkpoint item originated from his house. Minutes later, one of the message board's administrators posted a reply, saying the computer used by Norris and "WATCHER" were one and the same...’ (Globe)

The October 15th hornets’ nest Lt. Ashton kicked over produced several interesting aftershocks:

* School Committee Chairman Norris is still denying that he’s the now legendary "WATCHER".

* Lt. Ashton admits that "WATCHER" didn’t break any laws by ratting out the DUI checkpoint.

* Comcast, which supplies Norris with his Internet access, swears that nobody asked them for information about Norris or his access to cyberspace.

* Readers of the message board made Ashton’s "Norris is WATCHER" message the hottest message thread in the board’s history, until, at Norris’ request, the message board’s administrators took it down.

*Despite breaking a federal law shielding Internet users from prying Nanny State eyes, unless they have a subpoena or court order, Lt. Ashton isn’t facing any charges, and there don’t seem to be any forthcoming.

Is America poised to become the newest police state on the block? You better believe it, Sparky. The Obamunists are coming for all of us. Hug your liberty one last time, because this is not a drill.

Business Cycle Blues for Hugo
With the world plunging into a recession, stratospheric oil prices, which made Hugo "Skipper" Chavez the most popular thug on the South American block, are dropping faster than Skank Hilton’s knickers at a photo-op. Blissfully unaware of that killjoy, the business cycle, Hugo squandered those high oil price riches like there was no tomorrow.

Using all those petro dollars to spread his special brand of joy, Hugo blew through those oil revenues at an impressive rate. He made arms deals with the Ruskies. He enhanced his standing in the region, by spreading the wealth around to his poorer neighbors. He bolstered his power base at home, with a variety of public works and welfare on steroids projects. He did all this, and more, based on the misconception that triple digit oil prices were etched in stone and headed much, much higher.

Fast forward to the present, and Hugo isn’t as loaded as he was before oil prices plunged from the $150 a barrel region to the current $60 a barrel range. Admittedly, $60 is nothing to sneer at, but it’s not enough to support Hugo’s lavish spending. Does this mean the end for Hugo? Probably not, but it will mean more poverty and misery for his nation, which has bet it all on the oil industry, instead of trying to build a broader range of goods and services to drive the national economy. It will also mean that Hugo will need to put his dreams of a Hugo-centric international socialist empire on a back burner, for now.

To cope with plummeting oil revenue, the source of half the government's spending, Chavez may have to cut domestic handouts and foreign aid. The first items likely to go will be arms purchases from Russia, oil subsidies for Cuba, and job-creating local projects such as bridges and subways, economists say.

"You have a country with an oil boom, that doesn't know how to save, doesn't know how to set up productive industries that generate jobs, and goes into debt,'' said Elsa Cardozo, a professor of political science and international relations at the Universidad Central de Venezuela. "Then oil prices fall and the party ends.'' (Bloomberg)

Hugo is sitting on a pile of money that he looted from the industries, which he ‘nationalized’ during to boom times. He’ll be just fine, with the billions he squirreled away. It’s the recipients of Hugo’s largesse who will need to tighten their belts. Granted, he’ll need to hold off on his plans to nationalize more of Venezuela’s economy, but he can wait. Besides, he’s hoping he’ll have a brother in Marxism sitting in the White House, after the American election.

Don’t lose any sleep about that roly-poly clown running Venezuela, PIGsters. If you must worry, worry about America’s home grown Hugo, who is determined to follow Skipper down that well traveled Marxist road to tyranny, misery and economic devastation.

Because They Can
A Brit woman did a header into Nanny State nitwitdom, when she decided that the god-awful bright yellow paint on her 230 year old property had to go. In her understandable zeal to put that yellow out of her misery, 70 years young Sheila New decided to get the local council’s seal of approval, after the fact. Unaware of local council tyranny, Shelia had her house painted a pale shade of blue. When she asked for permission, the council shot her down, deeming her new color scheme a "considerable detriment" to the old homestead.

She knows, now, that her property has many owners, and that she’s at, or near, the bottom of the list. Sitting in the catbird’s seat is ‘history’ itself, because ‘old’ rocks the Nanny State’s world. Second in line is the Crewkerne Parish Council, which has appointed itself history’s guardian, even when, as is the case, history had its head up its ass when it came to color schemes. Exerting their power, the local council goose-stepped over Sheila’s liberty with an enforcement order to change the color back or use one ‘approved’ by the petty Nanny State tyrants.

Is Shelia taking this bull crap with the legendary stiff upper lip? You be the judge:

“This is like the Nazis. They had rules and forced people to do things they didn’t want to. I have spoken to dozens of people in the village and they all say how nice the cottage looks and how ridiculous the council is being. It’s such a dreary town I don’t know how they can stop anybody trying to bring a bit of colour to brighten it up. Common sense never comes into it with these council pen pushers. They just come along with their clipboards and tick boxes.” (Daily Express)

Give these bastards hell, Sheila. The Free State of PIG has your back.

Nanny State Nitwit Adventures
Source: PIG News Wire [10/22/08]

For the Birds
"It’s for the birds" sums up a Brit woman’s recent header into Nanny State Nitwitdom. For the past 20 years, or more, an 80 years young woman, June Coton, has been leaving out food scraps for her feathered friends. Over the years, her bird buffet has grown to include a bird feeding table, a bird bath and three small bird feeders. She is, as you might expect, very popular with the feathered denizens in and around Coventry. Alas, this popularity does not extend to the local council which has black-flagged her bird feeding.

Proving that whining, not soccer or cricket, is the Brit national sport, one of June’s neighbors complained about the bird buffet and the local council listened to this carping cretin.

‘...[Coventry City Council Spokesasshole] Gareth Lewis said: "We have a duty to respond to complaints and advise people on environmental issues. While legal action is an option where an environmental nuisance is being caused it is very much a last resort. However if she persists in this practice, we could have the power to issue a court summons, which could result in a fine or an anti-social behaviour order." (Ananova)

How the hell does this fool breathe, when he’s got his head shoved that far up his butt? Leave the woman alone, shit for brains. Don’t make is deploy Spike the Wonder Tyke to kick your sorry ass.

Trashed
Frank Hughes and his wife, Liz, run a small scaffolding firm which deploys teams of workers to job sites across Liverpool (J.O.E.). Since their work, as such, is done elsewhere, their base of operation is modest, and usually, occupied by Frank and Liz.

A few months ago, the relevant bureaucrats (the local council’s environmental waste department) sent Frank a letter, asking him to declare all of his industrial waste. Frank, quite rightly, wrote back that they didn’t have any. As far as he was concerned, that ended the matter. He knows better, now:

“We didn’t get anything back and so I though nothing of it, until an officer walked into the office out of the blue for an inspection. There was no warning, he just bounded in and demanded to inspect our waste. He accused us of lying and said there are dire consequences for trying to avoid having a proper licence.”

He added: “It got me a bit riled. Then I remembered that my wife had made me cheese sandwiches that day so I produced the cling film and said, ‘the only waste here comes from my sarnie wrappers’. But he jumped on that saying, ‘Well that’s waste!’ He also asked if we drank tea and when I said ‘yes’ he told me that tea bags were also classed as waste. It was laughable really, I thought he was joking. We take the wrappers and bags back home with us at night. But he said we should pay for a licence and save them up for a week and then call them for collection. I showed him the door and he said we’d be getting a £300 fine.” (Daily Express)

Despite the utterly asinine antics of their Trash Nazi, the Liverpool City Council is determined to make an example out of Frank. Banned - explicitly - from taking his sandwich wrappers and tea bags home for disposal, Frank must have some council trash wranglers come around once a week to pick up a handful of trash which would fit in a sandwich bag.

How out of control are Brit Elected Tormentors? It’s off the scale and, it’s going to be coming here, under that Marxist Son-of-a-Bitch, Barry Obama.

Parting shot: I’m pleased to report that, unlike the USA, there are some Elected Tormentors in J.O.E. who don’t have their head up their butt:

Tory MP Philip Davies, who has campaigned against zealous health and safety officials, said: “This is barmy. The council needs to stop acting like the Gestapo over sandwich wrappers and concentrate on things that matter to people.”

He added: “We need to be supporting business rather than making them pay for eating sandwiches and drinking tea. It is laughable and another example of bureaucrats targeting law-abiding people.”

Big Brother Closes a Loophole
This week, Big Brother is yammering with a Brit accent and what he’s saying is the usual, ‘for the good of national security’ bull crap. The fun started, when some Brit version of Mikey Chertoff noticed that the plans to create a giant database to eavesdrop on the Internet browsing habits, e-mail and phone calls of every UK denizen had a couple of pesky loopholes. The biggest loophole is the one most likely to produce terrorism fighting gold - prepaid cell phones. Suitably alarmed, the Big Brother Britain hatched a plan to slam that loophole shut:

Everyone who buys a mobile telephone will be forced to register their identity on a national database under government plans to extend massively the powers of state surveillance.

Phone buyers would have to present a passport or other official form of identification at the point of purchase. Privacy campaigners fear it marks the latest government move to create a surveillance society.

A compulsory national register for the owners of all 72m mobile phones in Britain would be part of a much bigger database to combat terrorism and crime. Whitehall officials have raised the idea of a register containing the names and addresses of everyone who buys a phone in recent talks with Vodafone and other telephone companies, insiders say.

The move is targeted at monitoring the owners of Britain’s estimated 40m prepaid mobile phones. They can be purchased with cash by customers who do not wish to give their names, addresses or credit card details. (Times of London)

Big Brother is watching? Yes, and he’s set to have his eyes and ears - ‘black boxes installed on communications lines’ - plugged in throughout J.O.E., when this plan is set in motion, next year.

Nanny State Chickens Come Home to Roost
Source: Breitbart [10/17/08]

Universal Healthcare does header into law of unintended consequences
Hawaii, one of those notoriously liberal bastions, had the best of intentions, when it established this nation’s first, statewide, universal child health care program, Keiki Care. It was intended to bridge the coverage gap between private coverage and the coverage provided for those families who qualified for Medicaid. To get that job done, they set up a single payer system, whose only cost to the ‘patient’ was a $7 per office visit copay. Who was covered? ‘Every child from birth to age 18 who didn’t already have health insurance’. In theory, this would give the children of ‘immigrants’ and members of lower income families healthcare. Bold New Concept.

This week, Hawaii Governor Linda Lingle’s administration cancelled the program. Is this more Elephant Clan penny pinching by a pachyderm princess governor? Not really. It’s the law of unintended consequences rearing it’s disruptive head:

Gov. Linda Lingle's administration cited budget shortfalls and other available health care options for eliminating funding for the program. A state official said families were dropping private coverage so their children would be eligible for the subsidized plan.

"People who were already able to afford health care began to stop paying for it so they could get it for free," said Dr. Kenny Fink, the administrator for Med-QUEST at the Department of Human Services. "I don't believe that was the intent of the program." (Breitbart)

Will the Capitol Hill Cretins learn from the universal healthcare failures in Hawaii, Massachusetts, Canada and the U.K.? You can’t be that clueless, wishful thinking Sparky.

E.U. Countries Want to Re-think Global Warming Edict
The E.U. global warming plan seemed to have clear sailing, until the world’s economy hit this market tanking speed bump. The proposed strengthening of the Emissions Trading System was bold and unambiguous:

It sets the goal of cutting carbon allowances year-on-year, to achieve an emissions cut of 21% by 2020 compared with 2005 levels. The package also includes plans to promote the use of renewable energy and develop carbon storage technology. (BBC)

This Globally Warmed house of cards depends, in large part, on an international wealth transfer scheme. Developed countries buy carbon credits from the pissant countries, countries which view a fireplace as cutting edge energy technology. That’s all well and good, in a Bull Market, but the Bears are on a rampage, leaving many firms in E.U. member nations unable to come up with the requisite globally warmed wealth transfer payments. Those clucking pests came home to roost this week, at a meeting of the European Commission:

[E]ight EU members want CO2 emission targets revised in light of "serious economic and financial uncertainties". Later Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi said he would veto the plan, saying Italian businesses could not absorb the cost.

EU members have been discussing the package at a Brussels summit, which has been dominated by the financial crisis. The eight countries challenging the plan are Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Hungary, Lithuania, Poland, Romania and Slovakia. Reducing greenhouse gases has been achieved at "a very high social and economic cost", they say.

The former communist states argue that "the vast majority" of the EU's CO2 reductions have been achieved by "less affluent member states", which shut many heavily polluting old industrial plants in the 1990s. They object to the European Commission taking 2005 as the baseline year for setting new emissions targets, rather than 1990 - the baseline year taken in the international Kyoto Protocol on climate change. (BBC)

Stay tuned for more on this chicken roosting drama, PIGsters.

Food Nazis, Foreign & Domestic
Source: PIG News Wire [10/10/08]

Home Grown Food Nazis
They wrap themselves in a high sounding name ‘Physicians Committee For Responsible Medicine’, but, when you dig into the Newsday story, you find out that their real agenda includes militant vegetarianism and unrelenting hostility to animal research. They are, in short, kissing cousins to the greeniacs who terrorize researchers, from sea to shining sea.

Eschewing something as liberty-venerating, as American, as persuasion, this crabgrass eating cabal is trying to use the Nanny State’s monopoly on the use of force, to dictate what American tykes will be allowed to eat in our government cess-schools.

Their first target of opportunity, on the long road to mandatory veggie meals for Rocket Boy and Moonbeam, involves a petition to Uncle Sam’s Department of Agriculture insisting that schools be forced to stop serving processed meats. That would take such items as hot dogs, ham, bacon, pastrami, salami and bologna off the menu.

The petition asks the USDA to eliminate any processed meat products from the commodities they distribute to schools monthly. For schools that purchase the products elsewhere, the petition wants the USDA to withhold the reimbursements that food service programs get for meals served to students.

USDA spokeswoman Jean Daniel said she had not seen the petition but that it would be given serious consideration. The only meats defined in the petition that the USDA distributes to schools are low-fat ham and turkey for sandwiches, Daniel said. (Newsday)

As expected, these home grown Food Nazis are ready, willing, and eager to deploy some unduly alarming statistics. If taken at face value, their whoppers make you think that just typing the word ‘bologna’ will strike you dead in a microsecond.

The Free State of PIG has it’s own choice words for these Food Nazis: shut up, sit down, and eat your crab grass.

Welsh Food Nazis
The item in the Welsh Food Nazi bull’s-eye is something called Marmite. If you never heard of it and can’t pick it out of a lineup, join the club. For what it’s worth, here’s how the folks perpetrating Wikipedia describe it:

The British version of the product is a sticky, dark brown paste with a distinctive, powerful flavour, which is extremely salty and savoury with umami qualities, comparable to soy sauce. This distinctive taste is reflected in the British company's marketing slogan: "Love it or hate it."

As far as I can tell, it has been a fixture in many Brit schools for one overriding reason: if you serve it for breakfast, the kids will be more likely to eat the food you serve them. No harm, no foul? You know better.

Marmite has been banned as ‘too salty’, but nobody seems to want to stand up and take credit for the idea, in the face of what appears to be memorable blowback. The relevant school official says "Yes, it isn’t on the menu, but it’s not my call". Moving up the ladder of accountability we arrive at the Local Council which issued the ban. They, too, are eager to pass the buck:

A spokesman for Ceredigion Council confirmed that Marmite was off the menu at its 51 primary school breakfast clubs. He added: 'The food items are based on guidance received from the Welsh Assembly Government. 'Breakfast clubs are intended to improve the health and concentration of children. Anything served must be healthy and nutritionally balanced. Marmite is not included on the list of items as it does include a high level of salt.' (Daily Mail)

It’s a nice try, but the Assembly isn’t ready willing and able to accept this hot potato, either.

A spokesman for the Assembly, which funds school breakfast clubs, said: 'We have not mentioned Marmite in our guidance. In terms of toppings for toast we indicate these are optional and where required a low-fat polyunsaturated spread should be used and similarly a reduced sugar jam.'

If that won’t seal the deal with parents, who are outraged about an out of control Nanny State, there’s this bit of self-serving data from Marmite manufacturer, Unilever: "It does contain salt and it is important only small quantities are used for taste. But it is not harmful, and only a small amount is required to make toast tasty for children."

Amazing Nanny State Adventures
Source: PIG News Wire [10/03/08]

Unintended Cornhusker State Consequences
If you’re determined to put a glass half full spin on this adventure in unintended consequences epic, it’s not very hard. Eager to keep individuals, who spawn without giving it any forethought, a safe haven for the innocent fruit of their loins, Nebraska legicrats created one of those ‘safe haven’ laws. Those are the rules of engagement which allow the breeders to ‘drop off’ their ‘inconvenient’ offspring at certain state certified hospitals.

In this case, the unintended consequences derived from one of those devilish details, which exile legicrats to their own circle of hell. For Nebraska legicrats, the devilish detail came to light via a highly publicized case where a distraught father, whose wife had died in childbirth, turned in his 9 children - ages 1 thru 17 - at Creighton University Medical Center. After his wife died, and he lost his job, life piled up on him, so he used this ‘safe haven’ law to do the best he could for his children.

How, you ask, did a law that was intended to cover very young children evolve to cover teenagers? It was devilishly easy:

‘...[As written] the law permits caregivers to abandon children at state-certified hospitals without fear of prosecution. It was intended to protect infants, but was amended to include the word "child," which isn't defined. So some have concluded the law covers all minors, which in Nebraska includes anyone under the age of 19...’ (San Francisco Chronicle)

Suitably alarmed, the relevant legicrats are eager to revise the law, to limit its impact to ‘infants’. That’s all well and good, but it might need to wait, since the next legislative session doesn’t start until January 2009.

Swiss Smoke Nazi Setback
On July 1, 2008, Swiss smokers were hit with that bane of liberty, a ban on smoking in public places. At least one Swiss smoker fought back, by taking the Smoke Nazi asshats to court. This week, that quest for justice reached critical mass:

Smokers in Geneva were given a reprieve on Tuesday after the top Swiss court struck down a ban on smoking in public places, in force since July 1, saying the local government had overstepped its powers.

The ban was approved by nearly 80 percent of Geneva voters last February. But the Federal Tribunal has ruled that the local government had no legal basis to impose the ban, having failed to wait for the cantonal parliament to adopt a formal law after the referendum, the Swiss news agency ATS said.

"The Federal Court's decision will have the effect of delaying for several months the application of a decision which Genevans have clearly taken," Geneva's government said in a statement about the ruling by the Lausanne-based court.

Smokers in public buildings, bars or restaurants risked a fine of up to 1,000 Swiss francs ($908), while owners of establishments risked a fine of up to 10,000 francs for violating the ban. (Reuters)

Admittedly, it’s just a temporary reprieve, but anything that puts Smoke Nazi panties in a wad must be celebrated. It’s about time that some court reminded the Smoke Nazis that their ‘our hearts are in the right place’ motives do not put them above the law of the land.

Fiddling Outburst in Maryland
On October 1st, a spate of new Legicrap edicts took effect in Maryland. You Maryland PIGsters will be thrilled to learn what your state Elected Tormentors are doing on your dime:

● Designating walking as the "official state exercise" of Maryland. Del. William A. Bronrott of Montgomery County, sponsor of the measure, said walking is "preventative medicine." A similar Bronrott-sponsored bill passed the Assembly in 2003 but was vetoed by then-Gov. Robert L. Ehrlich Jr.

● Designating the Smith Island cake as the "official state dessert."

● Prohibiting those younger than 18 from using tanning beds without written consent from a parent or guardian. Penalties for owners of tanning facilities who violate the law are $250 for a first offense; penalties rise to $1,000 for third and subsequent offenses.

● Creating a "Truth in Music Advertising Law" that establishes a $15,000 penalty for musical acts that lure concert goers by fraudulently copying the names and songs of famous performers.

● Establishing the day after Thanksgiving as an American Indian Heritage Day holiday for state employees.

Fiddling around while Maryland burns? It looks like it from here, thrilled spitless in Maryland Sparky.

Nanny State Nitwit Adventures
Source: PIG News Wire [09/26/08]

A Paul Harvey Moment
Sometimes an individual’s motives are perplexing. More often than not, an individual’s motives aren’t what they appear to be. That seems to be the case with a Maryland Legicrat, State Delegate Herman Taylor, Jr.

Herman’s most noteworthy Legicrat endeavor involves drunk driving. No doubt spouting self-righteous drivel about his concern for public safety, Herman proposed issuing special DUI license plates, for anyone convicted, more than once, of drunk driving. Bold New Concept.

Herman’s obsession with drunk drivers might have seemed perplexing, at the time, but we’ve got the big picture on Herman, now. Why? A drunk as a skunk Herman got busted, when a Montgomery County police officer found him passed out in this SUV, which was idling in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven. And now, we all know the rest of the story, on Herman’s obsession with drunk drivers.

Let My People Go?
A Welsh political clan, Plaid Cymru, is, as far as we can tell, a member of the ruling coalition government in Wales. As such, they make the necessary compromises to keep that element of the U.K. going. You might think of it as ‘taking one for the team’. Team players or not, key members of Plaid Cymru advocate Wales seeking its independence from the U.K. and striking out on its own:

Plaid MP Adam Price is soon to launch a new initiative by the party on independence.

Ms Jones told delegates: “We want Wales to become a member state of the European Union and it’s part of our job as a political party to persuade the people of Wales to support greater political and fiscal autonomy.”

The minister said independence was a long-term aspiration for Plaid Cymru and she could not put a timescale on it.“All I would say is that the people of Wales will decide whether Wales becomes a full member of the European Union. We have a job to do; part of our role for 78 years has been about persuading and raising the aspirations of the people of Wales.”

Little detail was given on the independence initiative. Plaid chairman John Dixon said it would be separate from conference to attract more publicity. “We have a long term vision for the future of Wales; we know we can’t deliver everything in a four-year term in the Assembly Government.” (Daily Post)

Given the suffocating level of political correctness oozing out of J.O.E., no matter what Plaid Cymru has in mind, it has to be a step up for the Welsh people. We would, however, suggest that they avoid an ‘out of the frying pan into the fire’ moment, which would transpire, if they dumped knee-jerk Korrectnik J.O.E. then signed on with the egregiously Korrect European Union.

Holy Hypocrites, Batman!
Source: PIG News Wire [09/19/08]

It’s not breaking news, when one of our Elected Tormentors deliberately flouts the laws he, she, heshe or it imposes on rank and file Americans. It’s barely newsworthy, when the Elected Tormentor is being investigated by federal authorities. It still rates a ‘not again’, when the laws the Elected Tormentor bent, broke or ignored are federal tax laws. What makes this one worth mentioning isn’t the fact that the Elected Tormentor is a Demoncrat. What puts this one over the top is the fact that this tax cheat is Congressman Charlie Rangel, the chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee. That’s the committee where ALL our TAX LAWS originate. Do as I say, not as I do? You better believe it, Sparky.

For those who obsess on such trivia, here are Charlie’s tax faux pas, as presented by the liberal rat bastards who infest AP:

Rangel, chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee, is already the subject of ethics committee investigations on several fronts, including unreported income and unpaid taxes on his beach house in the Dominican Republic.

Those issues and others have led the New York Democrat to hire the expert to pore over Rangel's finances over the past 20 years, and issue a report to the House ethics committee

Among the new discrepancies: [sic]
_Rangel's papers over the past 10 years show no reference to the sale of a home he once owned on Colorado Avenue in Washington.

_The details of a property bought in Sunny Isles, Fla., are bewildering at best. The stated value changes significantly from year to year, and even page to page, from $50,000 to $100,000 all the way up to $500,000.

_Some of the entries for investment funds fluctuate strangely, suggesting that the person either didn't have accurate information or didn't fill out the paperwork correctly.

According to an item in the New York Post, San Fran Nan Pelosi has ‘privately pushed Rep. Charlie Rangel to give up his chairmanship’, but Charlie isn’t playing ball. He’s digging in his heels and launching a vigorous ‘hell no I won’t go counterattack’ using, among others, Clintonista hatchet man, Lanny Davis, to save his liberal scumbag bacon.

Hurdles
Source: Tasty Tidbits [09/19/08]

What takes a week, minimum, involves 3 separate trips to police headquarters, means 2 more trips to a certain capitalist in a crappy section of town, costs at least $200 in fees, requires fingerprinting and a ballistics test? Registering a gun in our nation’s capitol. It’s a ‘streamlined’, 9-step, process that only a gun-hating bureaucrat would find spiffy:

1. Pick up registration packet at police headquarters.

2. Purchase gun.

3. Contact a licensed firearms dealer to arrange transfer.

4. Once gun has been transferred to a licensed firearms dealer in D.C., you must meet with the dealer, provide a driver's license and fill out two forms. One form is the application for a firearms registration certificate from the District Police, the other is federal form the dealer uses for the federal background check. Then you must pay the D.C. dealer transfer fee of $125.

5. Take the registration application to police headquarters. Pay a $35 fingerprint fee and a $13 registration fee. Take a 20-question test and get no more than five wrong. Be fingerprinted.

6. After MPD completes a criminal records check (2 to 3 days), return to police headquarters to pick up approved registration application. You must bring a notarized copy of a statement of eligibility, and two passport photos.

7. Take the approved registration application back to the D.C. dealer and pick up your gun.

8. Take the gun immediately to police headquarters for a ballistics test. There is a $12 charge for this and you may have to wait an hour or more while police test fire your gun.

9. Take your gun home. (WTOP)

What could be simpler?

Infuriating Nanny State Antics
Source: PIG’s Awards Pages [09/12/08]

Presumed Guilty
The Elected Tormentor jackasses, who spread misery in a Brit blight named Telford (Shropshire), have taken ‘presumed guilty’ to a whole new level. The job-for-life council scumbags, who try to act like they have a clue, while goose-stepping around the 420 acres of Telford Town Park, have channeled their inner Gestapo punk.

Park wardens have been ordered to stop and interrogate anyone who is not accompanied by children. The visitors who are quizzed have to explain their presence and risk being thrown out or reported to police if their answers are not satisfactory. (Daily Mail)

Under this new policy, a taxpayer, who visits the park for a quiet interlude with nature, must endure an interrogation by some skidmark on humanity’s skivvies. The taxpayer, who pays for the park, and the power crazed council pissant’s salary, must put up with this insulting, infuriating, crap and hope that his explanation passes muster. There’s only one viable answer, when some power crazed pissant demands, "Why did you come here?": "Because it’s my right and because I PAID FOR THE GODDAMN THING, turd breath."

If there are any rational adults left in Telford, they need to put a stop to this crap right now. Presumed guilty, until proven innocent, is a frontal assault on inalienable individual liberty.

Pettifogging Pissants
When he heard about the sorry state into which the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington Nation Cemetery had fallen, a retired car dealer, John Haines, took it upon himself to resolve the situation. Leaving nothing to chance, he had a room-size piece of marble cut from the same Yule Quarry where the original marble pieces for the tomb were cut 80 years ago. Determined to find the right piece, John spent five years of his life having the marble wranglers seek out a flawless piece of marble that’s an exact match for the original piece. He even made special arrangements to transport the marble to Arlington. Did Uncle Sam thank him profusely for his patriotic gift to this nation’s honored dead? Not a chance.

According to a job for life piece of bureaucratic shit, Thurman Higginbotham, deputy superintendent of Arlington, Uncle Sam’s rules of engagement are down with STEALING from citizens, but they don’t allow a man like John Haines to DONATE the marble they need. Instead - these bureaucratic turds have been dithering about this badly needed repair for 18 YEARS - your Nanny State Nitwits want to squander $2.2 million tax dollars, repeating steps that John has already completed for them.

John’s cardinal sin goes beyond not wading through Uncle Sam’s impossibly complex bidding, and specification process. John was doomed from the start - despite a letter from an Army major general who thanked him for his "most kind and generous donation". Why? Because he’s a rational adult, and there’s no room for one of THOSE, when you’re dealing with a group of job for life bureaucratic butt heads.

For making a simple, straightforward, task impossibly complex, Thurman Higginbotham, along with all the other butt bullets, who perpetrated this farce, needs to be taken out of our misery. It’s time to shove a live grenade up their butts and pull the pin. If you run into Thurman, punt the bastard’s balls into a more rational Zip Code of objective reality.

Thurman, you’re a disgrace to the honored dead whose eternal repose is your responsibility. Die in a fire, scumbag. Die in a fire.

By The Numbers
Source: Opinion Journal [09/10/08]

This well written Wall Street Journal article explains the numbers contained in the Congressional Budget Office’s semiannual report. Any way you look at it, the CBO’s news is far from good. Since everyone, on both sides of the aisle, will be making political hay from this, I’ll do my best to give you the essentials.

First, the Opinion Journal Scribbler exposes some red herrings that will be shouted out by the usual suspects:

*The deficit for the current fiscal year is $407 billion. It’s not chump change, but it’s still 3% of GDP, which is ‘in line with the average of the last 30 years’.

* W’s tax cuts ‘for the rich’ aren’t the problem either. In the four years since the 2003 tax cuts, tax receipts increased by $785 billion. They’re down this year, due to the $150 billion rebate that didn’t kick-start the economy. Without any of Odumbo’s tax hikes, the take next year will be a ‘healthy’ 18.5% of GDP.

* The money spent on the war isn’t out of line, either. Defense spending for the year is $605 billion, or about 4.5% of GDP. Under Bubba, who let it all go to crap, it sank to 3% of GDP. In 1986, under the Gipper, it hit 6.2% of GDP.

If those aren’t the reason for the 57% increase in federal largesse in this decade, what is? The Opinion Journal paints this infuriating word picture:

The real runaway train is what CBO calls a "substantial increase in spending" that is "on an unsustainable path." That's for sure. The nearby chart shows how much some federal accounts have expanded since 2001, and in inflation-adjusted dollars. This year alone, federal agencies have lifted their spending by 8.1%, with another 7% raise expected for 2009. There's certainly no recession in Washington. The CBO says that, merely in the two years that Democrats have run Congress, federal expenditures are up $429 billion -- to $3.158 trillion.

The fiscal blowouts have included a record farm bill, notwithstanding record farm income; an aid bill for distressed homeowners, extended unemployment benefits, and more generous veterans benefits. Next up: votes on $50 billion for Detroit auto firms, an $80 billion energy bill, as much as $50 billion for spending masked as a "second stimulus," plus $100 billion or more for the Fannie and Freddie rescue. Rather than sort through priorities, Congress is spending more on just about everything.

Meanwhile, remember that "pay as you go" spending promise that Speaker Nancy Pelosi made in 2006? We called it a ruse at the time, and the last two years have proved it. Senator Judd Gregg (R., N.H.) has tallied up at least $398 billion in "paygo" violations so far. Earmarks were also supposed to be cut in half by this Congress. In 2008 there were some 11,000 at a cost of $17 billion, the second most ever, and far more than half the peak of 14,000 in 2006. (Opinion Journal)

If the Demoncrats sweep the board during this election cycle, these greedy bastard will make their current plundering of the American taxpayer seem like kid stuff. If Juan McCain prevails, you’re still going to get nailed in the wallet, but the bite will be SLIGHTLY smaller. Is that enough reason to punch a chad for him? I don’t know yet. None of the above is still my first choice in this election.

PIGish Nanny State Nitwit News Roundup
Source: PIG News Wire [09/05/08]

Another Traffic Nazi Adventure
A 24-year-old Brit dude named Kristian Bennison’s day went to crap when his VW smashed into another car. With the assistance of his mom, Debra, Kristian managed to push the badly battered car to the side of the road. They left it there, temporarily, while Kristian went to the hospital to be treated for shock and assorted minor injuries.

After helping her son get timely medical TLC, Debra returned to the car, armed with a note, explaining that they were waiting for tow truck to come and haul it away. When she got there, she found more than broken glass on the road and a smashed VW. She also found a - TA DA - parking ticket on the car, because it was left on double yellow lines. That’s right, PIGsters, some Parking Nazi ticketed a car that had just been in a wreck.

The blowback must have been impressive, because the Tafford Council’s head of transportation, Geoff Ball, beat a hasty retreat. In addition to cancelling the ticket in record time, he promised to have a ‘chat’ with his parking contractor ‘to avoid this kind of situation happening in the future’. Blah, blah, blah. I guess that’s how they say ‘D’Oh’, in Tafford.

Because They Can
A Brit burg named Tameside has declared war on the Brit version of the roach coach. Phase one banned them from doing business in the town center, but gave them the right to ply their trade on any other public roads in town. That was just the beginning. Now, a Council punk named Johathan Reynolds wants to set up ‘no fry zones’, especially around schools like the one where some motherless fool allows him to be a governor.

He cited, as an example, a burger wrangler who parked his rolling kitchen outside the school’s front gate and lured unwary students to their culinary doom. There’s just one problem with that excuse. When school officials asked the burger wrangler to knock it off, he complied and hasn’t been back for several months. That’s all well and good, but not enough, according to Jonathan, who is itching to snuff out these roach coach capitalists with the iron fist of the Nanny State:

"It's great to see that limiting street traders outside schools is within our powers. I accept the point that you can't do anything about fixed premises but if you can't make something perfect it shouldn't mean you can't try to make it better." (Telegraph)

Why does he do it? Because using the government’s monopoly on the legal use of force to snuff out liberty makes his day. In other words, he does it because he can.

Adams Township Asshats
Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer [08/29/08]

A Keystone State capitalist, Stephanie Babines, did a header into anal retentive Nanny State nitwitdom, and she’s not going to tolerate it a moment longer. Stephanie teaches women a variety of dances at her Cranberry Township studio and in private homes. Business is good enough that she invested $10,000 on a studio in nearby Adams Township.

Everything was going according to plan, until the Adams Township Morality Nazis in the local government denied her an ‘occupancy permit’ and slapped an ‘adult business’ label on her dance studio. Why? Because, Stephanie’s classes include: pole-dancing, power lap dance, strip-tease and "SeXXXercise". We know what you’re thinking, where do I sign up, Sparky, but it’s not as salacious as it sounds. Stephanie only teaches women, fully clothed women. No men are allowed in the classes, or in the studio to ogle and drool.

Stephanie is pissed, and I don’t blame her. She’s so pissed, she has enlisted the ACLU to sue the local yokels for violating her First Amendment rights:

"This is not a strip joint or gentleman's club," Babines said in a statement. Babines alleges "the small-town municipal officials do not approve of the type of dance she teaches. They believe it is 'provocative,' full of sexual 'innuendo,' and too dangerous for their township." (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

The fun fact here is that the local Code Enforcement Nazi, Gary Peaco, never even interviewed Stephanie about her business. He shoved his head up his butt, after visiting her web site. The smoking gun? He cited the Web site’s "pink and black color scheme...and the high heeled shoe in her logo". In his synapse-free mind, that’s all the proof he needed to declare Stephanie’s business ‘sexually-oriented’.

Is Stephanie’s business sexually oriented? Perhaps, but so f-ing what? Why is that any of the Nanny State’s damn business? Why the hell should Stephanie need an occupancy permit in the first place? It’s not the township’s building, so, they need to butt the hell out and let her business roll those marketplace dice. When did Adams Township secede from this land conceived in liberty and become a classic Soviet Gulag? Enquiring minds want to know.

Adios Sombrero Breath
Source: PIG News Wire [08/29/08]

It’s probably a load of ‘nothing to see here, move along’ crap that’s being pooped out by the usual suspects, who are eager to sweep America’s border jumping scumbag problems under the rug. Despite some misgivings here in the PIG newsroom, we decided to put this stuff on the official record anyway.

The rumblings coming from the Mexican consul general in Dallas are, on their face, news-worthy:

The Mexican Consulate's office in Dallas is seeing increasing numbers of Mexican nationals requesting paperwork to go home for good, especially parents who want to know what documentation they'll need to enroll their children in Mexican schools.

"Those numbers have increased percentage-wise tremendously," said Enrique Hubbard, the Mexican consul general in Dallas. "In fact, it's almost 100 percent more this year than it was the previous two years."

The illegal immigrant population in the U.S. has dropped 11 percent since August of last year, according to the Center for Immigration Studies. Its research shows 1.3 million illegal immigrants have returned to their home countries. (Fox News)

A key indicator that all is not well in Colonistaville is the fact that, during the past year, the amount of money Chico and Juanita are sending back home has taken a nose-dive. That seems to be a hint that America’s tough economic climate is hitting them hard. It might also mean that the highly publicized ICE raids on border jumping scumbag are more than window dressing and have the border jumping rat bastards in a panic.

Does this mean our border jumping scumbag problems are over? Far from it, but it’s the first good news we’ve had on this subject in much too long. It’s not time to raise that ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner, but this good news does give America’s rational adults a cudgel to use on our amnesty-bonkers Elected Tormentors.

Nanny State Nitwit Adventures
Source: PIG News Wire ]08/22/08]

J.O.E.
Our old friend, the ‘public burden’ canard is alive and well in J.O.E., where a Brit Elected Tormentor Cabal, the Local Government Association, is painting a Draconian Fat Nazi bull’s-eye on bloated Brit tykes. In a move that’s destined to thrill the socks of Brit rational adults, these Elected Tormentors are poised to declare making your tyke too fat a form of child abuse. It is, they insist, an egregious kind of neglect that must be resolved by the all powerful Nanny State. How? These ‘abused’ tykes must be taken from their families and put into ‘care’ in a state run medical facility.

“Councils are increasingly having to consider taking action where parents are putting children’s health in real danger,” he said. “As the obesity epidemic grows, these tricky cases will keep on cropping up. Councils would step in to deal with an undernourished and neglected child, so should a case with a morbidly obese child be different? If parents consistently place their children at risk through bad diet and lack of exercise, is it right that a council should step in to keep the child’s health under review? The nation’s expanding waistline threatens to have a devastating impact on our public services. It’s a huge issue for public health, but it also risks placing an unprecedented amount of pressure on council services.” (David Rogers, the Local Government Association’s designated Fat Nazi, as quoted by the Times of London)

For now, this Nanny State nitwit cabal is unwilling to plunge headlong into wholesale removal of tykes from their homes. They are advocating a ‘national debate’ - a brain-washing campaign at taxpayer expense - but seem determined to keep the state sponsored kidnaping option open, for future use.

Parting shot: If you think this is strictly a Brit problem, get over it. If Messiah Barry imposes universal healthcare, you’ll hear America’s Fat Nazis spouting this kind of liberty nuking bull crap: “Children who are dangerously overweight should be brought into hospital, where they can be given 24-hour care for several weeks or months." (A Brit Fat Nazi named Tam Fry)

Washington D. C.
Remember that asinine self-deportation scheme that Uncle Sam swore was going to be a huge success? It’s the insane plan that ‘invited’ border jumpers to turn themselves in for ‘scheduled’ deportation. That would, ICE insisted, give the border jumpers ample time to resolve any outstanding issues, before returning to their native land.

Today, even the pinheads inside the D. C. Beltway have admitted the obvious. After a mere 8 dumber than a box of rocks dipsticks volunteered to be deported, these reality-insulated bureaucrats finally faced the fact that the program isn’t working and ended it.

The following points are submitted for your thoughtful consideration:

1) The job for life pinhead in ICE, who thought this 'I wanna go home' program would work needs to up the voltage on his shock treatments.

2) I think we dodged a bullet on this one. How? We lured 8 of the dumbest humps in this, or any other, universe into turning themselves in, using this utterly asinine program. Stupidity on that jaw-dropping level has to be contagious.

3) When it comes to solving the border jumping scumbag problem, I still think PIG's Landmine Lotto is an idea whose time has come.

When it comes to ‘fixing’ stuff like this, everyone knows that the REAL solution can be found in the Free State of PIG.

Annoying Nanny State Antics
Source: Golden Oinks [08/15/08]

Korrectnik Kiwi Killjoys
He’s dubbed New Zealand’s porn king, and that, by itself, is reason enough to make the Free State of PIG salute him. As much as we admire Steve Crow’s line of work, we’re saluting him for a different reason, this time out.

The fun starts with Steve’s annual salute to booty, his Erotica Lifestyles Expo. Determined to attract the maximum amount of attention to his yum-yum promoting endeavor, Steve thrills the city of Auckland, by staging a very special parade down Queen St. It’s called ‘Boobs on Bikes’ and it features topless hotties riding down this Kiwi street on motorcycles.

We’re bummed to report that Auckland’s Elected Tormentors are tying to end this hubba-hubba tradition. To thwart Steve’s plans, the council gave itself the power to deny parade permits if the event is deemed ‘offensive’. The political games started, after Mayor John Banks claimed that he’d received 1,000 e-mails opposing the parade. Unimpressed, Steve Crow trumped the mayor’s 1,000 whiners by citing the 100,000 people, who gather each year to watch "Boobs on Bikes".

"I'd like to see those e-mails. I've got a hundred thousand people watching it. If he's got 1000 people who don't want it, don't like it, then that's fine - don't go." (Dominion Post)

Steve Crow is unimpressed by their threats and points out that he never asked for their permission. He just wanted to know if they’d help with the traffic. No matter what they decide, Steve plans to hold his event anyway. Give the bastards hell, Steve.

Parting shot: The most insane Elected Tormentor response is coming from Councillor Cathy Casey ‘who had threatened to lie down in the path of the parade to stop it’. Still deranged, this wench pulled her wadded panties out of her crack and started making noises about seeking a court injunction to stop the parade. Injunction or no injunction, Steve Crow won’t be stopped. Hotties, start your engines!

Brit Feather-Brains
The more I read about J.O.E., the more convinced I am that whining about your neighbor is the national pastime. This week, we bring you the story of an ‘elderly’ couple, Mick and June Dunny, who live in a wide spot on a Northumberland road named Berwick-upon Tweed. Like many of us, Mick and June enjoy bringing a touch of nature into their lives. The easiest way to do that is to provide their wild, feathered, friends a snack. That’s why, every morning, Mick puts out four biscuits, which are scarfed up by a flock of eager birds, most of them sparrows. In a rational world, this should rate a ‘no harm, no foul’. It should be, but doesn’t.

One of the Dunny’s neighbors complained about ‘the noise’ sent up by those hungry birds. Shortly thereafter, the Dunny’s got a snarky note from the local council, which tried to intimidate them into compliance:

An official wrote: "Birds cause some considerable problem in forms of noise and dirt. Not only do their droppings damage and contaminate property, the birds also carry various diseases such as salmonella."

The warning letter said nesting birds can block chimneys and gutters, adding: "Food put out for the birds will also attract rats and vermin. If we establish that a nuisance or pest problem does exist, we may have to reconsider further action." (Telegraph)

Did Mick and June knuckle under? Hardly. Mick vowed to keep up his breakfast for the birds tradition and issued a heartfelt ‘bite me’ to the local council with these fighting words: "Let them put me in jail...It’s just crazy. What do they mean by noise? I'd hardly describe the dawn chorus as noise."

Mick won’t be forced to do battle on his own, since the RSPCA has thrown its support behind our hero.

Parting shot: If anyone needs a time out in a local graybar, it’s the Elected Tormentors on the local council, who need some time alone to pull their heads out of their butts.

Because They Can
Source: Daily Mail [08/06/08]

A key Surrender Monkey talking point involves the superiority of French food. They take great pride in it, but, despite that pride, France trails Bella Italia as the skinniest country in Europe. Before you get ready to uncork the champagne, you need to take a chill pill.

Being the ‘skinniest’ in Europe isn’t a very steep hill to climb. Despite rating a solid second on the skinniest rankings, by their own calculations, 19.8 million of France’s 63 million denizens are ‘overweight’. Furthermore, 5.9 million of them are clinically obese. That’s 1 in 3 that rates ‘overweight’. Sounds scary? Consider Greece, the fattest nation in Europe where 70% of the population is considered ‘overweight’.

Setting aside our considerable misgivings about how the Euros define ‘overweight’, we’ll cut to the chase. Alarmed by the plumping up of the Surrender Monkey horde, the relevant Elected Tormentors have put the pedal to the metal with Draconian tax increase:

France is considering plans to impose a "fat tax" by more than trebling the VAT on junk food to tackle soaring obesity levels. Ministers are being urged by health experts to raise VAT from 5.5 to 19.6 per cent on all foods considered to be "too rich, too sweet, too salty and which are not strictly necessary". The cost of pizzas, hamburgers, sandwiches, crisps, children's sweets and creamy coffees could soar as a result. (Daily Mail)

If you wonder what kind of blithering jackass perpetrates this Nanny State assault on the second skinniest nation in Europe, wonder no more:

"Just because we are among the least overweight in Europe, we have nothing to be complacent about. The figures show obesity is rising swiftly in France and other EU countries, and we want to take action now before it gets any more serious. We want people - and particularly young people - to cut back on the snacking and get back to healthy habits." (A Surrender Monkey spokeshole from the health ministry.)

Why are they doing it? Because they can and because the citizens let them. Coming soon to this land conceived in liberty? You better damn believe it, Obamaton Sparky.

Reason Rates Liberty In American Cities
Source: NewsMax [08/03/08]

Reason Magazine decided to evaluate the state of our liberty in America’s 35 most pupulated cities. The criteria were simple and straightforward: sex, alcohol, tobacco, guns, movement, drugs, gambling, and a catch-all category of food and “other.” Since the scoring system assessed points for infringements on our liberty, the higher the score, the more intrusive the city was on your liberty.

NewsMax shares these details from the Reason article:

The movement category included laws governing seatbelt and motorcycle helmet use, and government-operated surveillance cameras.

And for the food/other category, Reason looked at menu-labeling laws, pet codes, bans on trans fats, cabaret laws and other regulations of “a paternalistic nature.”

NewsMax unleashed these noxious nibbles about America’s most restrictive cities, Chicago, Seattle and New York.

Chicago finished in the bottom half of every category, including 34 for tobacco, 33 for guns and 28 for food/other. Reason cited a ban on serving alcohol at all-nude strip clubs, restrictive gun control laws, a public smoking ban, and widespread use of surveillance cameras. It also noted that nearly a quarter of Chicago’s precincts are alcohol-free.

Not far behind in second place was Seattle, with 35 for both alcohol and smoking and 32 for food/other, although it did receive a 4 in the drug category for its permissive marijuana laws.

New York was next, with 34 for food/other, 31 for smoking and 28 for movement. The city banned trans fats in restaurant cooking oils and ordered fast food chains to show calorie content on their menus. Police have issued citations for infractions as minor as sitting improperly on a milk crate, and from 1997 to 2006 they arrested and jailed more than 353,000 people for possessing small amounts of marijuana.

Here in the Free State of PIG we think the rating system is just fine. The only problem we have with it, is that it’s out of date. For example, on the Reason liberty scale, the Sanctuary City of Angels is only number 27. That ranking is undoubtedly deserved, but it’s old news. It doesn’t factor in recent developments like the ban on new fast food joints in the ‘hood and a proposal to ban smoking outdoors, throughout this haven for gangbanging border jumping scumbags.

For those who obsess on such things, here are the top five: 1) Las Vegas, 2) Miami, 3) Denver, 4) Louisville, 5) Kansas City. If you want to read the entire piece, you can find it at reasonmag.com.

Galloping Golden Gopher Crap
Source: ABC Affiliate [07/31/08]

Tom Kleven is all the proof you need that health and safety lunacy is alive and well in Minneapolis. Our 41 year old hero is one of those dauntless, egregiously fit, individuals who participate in a triathlon - an athletic event that involves biking, running and swimming.

Trying to get himself ready for that ordeal, Tom decided to swim across Lake Nokomis, but the health and safety asshats in the Minneapolis Park Police had other ideas. Tom was halfway across the lake, when a lifeguard ordered him to turn around. Asinine? You bet, but it gets worse.

When Tom arrived back at his starting point, the proper authorities busted him for ‘swimming too far’. According to the prevailing rules of engagement, Tom must pay $115 for a permit, before he can swim across the lake. The money covers the cost of a lifeguard and boat following Tom during his swim.

For daring to think he should be allowed to swim across a lake in the United States of America, without Nanny State approval, Tom faces a maximum penalty of 90 days in the slammer and a $1,000 fine.

Parting shot: This misdemeanor is, quite literally, the gift that keeps on giving. How? Since Tom is a physician, he must declare it, every time he renews his license.

Press ‘One’ For Border Insanity
Source: Golden Oinks 2008 [07/31/08]

When it comes to asinine, laughter-inducing, self-parody, nobody does it better than those masterful humorists who infest the Department of Homeland Stupidity. Over the weekend, one of Mikey Chertoff’s minions, Julie Myers - the butt bullet put in charge of ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) - reset the bar for political pratfalls during an appearance on a Taco Turd network:

Julie Myers, head of ICE, told Spanish-language television network Univision that the operation will allow illegal immigrants without criminal records to essentially "self-deport." She said that the concept was developed in response to feedback from detained immigrants who say they would rather return to their countries of origin than languish in immigration-detention centers. (Wall Street Journal)

This new program - I am not making this up - "Operation Scheduled Departure" - is aimed at border jumping scumbag invaders who have ‘ignored or eluded final deportation orders’. In other words, we can’t find your rancid border jumping ass, but, if you’re the right kind of brainless jackass, we’ll let you stroll into the nearest ICE office and give us your ‘target date’ for a scheduled return trip home. Best of all, since we’re such utter dickheads, we’ll believe your lying ass and refrain from locking you up for safe keeping.

"Operation Scheduled Departure"? A much better name would be "Operation We Hope You’re Even Dumber Than We Are, Chico". Welcome to the non-stop, laugh a minute world inside the D.C. zip code of the Twilight Zone.

Excuses, Excuses
Source: Manchester Evening News [07/26/08]

As excuses go, the one that left a Brit woman, Sue Jackson, gobsmacked is off the charts, when it comes to being asinine. The header into local council minion lunacy started, when Sue had her 10 year old wenchlet daughter, Lauren, wheel the trash bin out to its assigned place on trash pickup day. Lauren, a regulation size wenchlet for her age, managed the task without any trouble whatsoever.

When the trash wranglers showed up, the fun kicked into high gear:

The refuse collectors told Sue, 29, that their truck's hydraulic equipment couldn't lift it. But Sue says her daughter Lauren had easily wheeled the bin outside her Rochdale house.

She said: "I just couldn't believe it when the bin men said it was too heavy for the refuse lorry to empty. They told me that to my face and when I said we don't get told of any weight limit they just walked off. I can't understand how a lorry with a hydraulic arm, which should be made to lift heavy weights, could not lift a bin which my 10-year-old daughter had put out that morning. I thought it was ridiculous. When I rang the council, the woman who I spoke to started laughing as well and said she'd never heard anything like it. It's not even as if my daughter is really strong. She's just an average sized 10-year-old." (Manchester Evening News)

As expected, the local council meatheads, tried to talk their way out of a dose of blowback with the requisite blast of hot air:

"If a bin is too heavy, the crew may be unable to empty it because the lip of the bin could break while being lifted on the lorry's lifting mechanism. This could cause a health and safety issue and damage the bin. It would have to have some of its contents removed before it could be emptied on the next collection."

Magically, despite having to lift an extra week’s worth of trash, in addition to that ‘too damn heavy’ load, the trash truck’s lifting arm managed to cope. Did Popeye show up and feed it some spinach? Enquiring minds want to know.

Parting shot: Why do these council minions pull this crap? Because Brit citizens let them, and, because they can.

More Brit Fiddling
Source: PIG News Wire [07/25/08]

Noise Nazis Stamp Out Roving Ice Cream Vendors?
Spouting drivel about noise pollution, some Brit Elected Tormentors - the deadheads on the Worcester City Council - broke out their fiddles and played a lively tune to restore quiet to the city’s streets. Determined to put certain roving capitalists out of business, the Worcester asshats spewed the following edicts:

The rules state that vendors driving around the streets can only sound their chimes for four seconds at a time and must leave at least three minutes between blasts.

Sellers wanting to stay in the same street for a prolonged period have been told they can only sound their jingles every two hours.

Other rules prohibit vendors from playing chimes outside places of worship or schools during lessons, or from playing within sight of another ice cream van. (Daily Express)

Asinine? You bet, but we’re compelled to note that they acted after some cringing cretins WHINED to the council about the noise generated by one particular vendor. Our first response is to tell this whiner: Grow a pair and take care of it yourself, rule Britannia Sparky. Why hammer all the vendors when it’s just one rat bastard causing the problem? Don’t make us come over there, council punks.

Parting shot: As usual, PIG News tries to shine a ray of hope on a deplorable situation. In this case, these encouraging words come from a city councillor:

Worcester City councillor Paul Denham branded the new rules a “waste of time” and “frankly unpoliceable”. He said: “Our council is very good at bringing in new rules and regulations but are not very good at actually enforcing them.”

Food Nazis Save Brits From Salt
The official Brit Food Nazi cabal, the Food Standards Agency (FSA), is painting a bureaucratic bull’s-eye on such familiar items as Heinz ketchup, Kelloggs corn flakes, plus such Brit favorites as Cornish pastries and Stilton cheese. Other items that might get a Food Nazi hammering include bread, ready to eat meals, cakes, and all those munchies satisfying snack foods.

Citing the usual, factually challenged, death statistics, the FSA Food Nazis set their hair on fire over 14,000 Brits who die, every year, from salt overdoses (they arrive at this number by blaming all high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks on salt). Salt overdoses? It’s a crock, since, to date, there’s no compelling proof that eating less salt will lower your blood pressure, but never try to confuse a Food Nazi (or their Health Nazi cousins) with those pesky facts.

Undaunted by objective reality, a factually-challenged study is all the excuse FSA Food Nazis need, to impose their Draconian cure for what ails Brit sovereign individuals. First, they pulled a number out of their butts for the recommended daily salt consumption: 6g. Next, they ginned up a study, to substantiate their foregone - too much salt is killing people - conclusion. Finally, they expressed alarm that the average Brit consumes 8.6g of salt each day.

Consumption is down from an estimated average of 9.5g a day in 2000-2001. However, the FSA says tough action is needed to hit the healthier 6g mark. It had already drawn up targets to reduce salt content in popular foods by 2010. These targets have now been made tougher. Further reductions will be needed by 2012. (Daily Mail)

When will rational adults snap the hell out of it and tell these interfering asshats to butt the hell out? When will we ‘explain’ to them that we don’t want, or need, some tax-funded rat bastard trying to ‘save me from myself’? When will the rational adults of this world, say "KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF"? It better be soon, or it will be much to late to rescue our liberty from these Nanny State Nitwits.

Parting shot: Heinz ketchup is a prime example of Food Nazi thinking. Eager to be a good corporate citizen, Heinz now sells a ‘low salt’ version of its ketchup. Does that git er done for FSA Food Nazis? Hardly. They’re still nagging Heinz to lower the salt content in the standard version of its product. Why? Because Brit adults must be FORCED to eat what the Food Nazis tell them to eat.

Painful Cures
Source: New York Daily News [07/20/08]

For the children, Big Apple bureaucrats in the city’s parks department deployed black rubber mats under playground equipment - slides, jungle gyms, etc. - to cushion little Moonbeam or Rocket Boy if they fall. It is, the bureaucrats insist, a worthwhile safety measure. There is, however, one devilish detail about the mats, which these pinheads would rather not discuss:

‘...Black rubber mats designed to break a child's fall turn blistering hot in the summer, soaring to higher than 165 degrees, a Daily News investigation found.

Doctors at two city hospital burn units reported seeing 16 to 18 young children with playground burns a year, mostly from the mats under junglegyms and sliding boards...’

‘...The News, accompanied by NYC Park Advocates, took the temperature of mats under junglegyms at playgrounds in all five boroughs last Friday.

"It is unconscionable that the city continues to install products in playgrounds that hurt the most vulnerable park users - small children," said Geoffrey Croft of NYC Park Advocates, who took a 166.9-degree reading on the mats at Carl Schurz. "How many more have to get hurt until someone is held accountable?" The News requested recent statistics on the number of burns at the 1,000 city playgrounds, but Parks Department spokeswoman Jama Adams said there were "no incidents reported."...’ (Daily News)

If you live in the Big Apple and Moonbeam wants to frolic in the park, make sure you make her wear her asbestos outfit, unless you want her to return home ‘extra crispy’ from those safety mats.

Parting shot: Back in the day, playground wranglers got an assist from Mother Nature when it comes to cushioning that tyke spill. I’m not sure, but I think they called this miracle solution ‘grass’.

Political Punk Gamesmanship
Source: Boston Globe [07/17/08]

Down East Demoncrats are not happy campers. Just when they had Representative Tom Allen locked and loaded to replace Susan Collins in the United States Senate, HE mucks up the works. ‘He’, in this case, is a third candidate, a ‘former Demoncrat named Herbert Hoffman, who turned in enough valid voter signatures to qualify for the November ballot. Holy three’s a crowd, Batman!

Down East Demoncrats are leaving no stone unturned, in the fight to boot Herbie off the fall ballot, but, so far, they’re not having much luck finding the right kind of ‘activist judge’. Their complaint is straightforward enough: Herbie broke the rules of engagement, because he wasn’t present when three registered voters signed his petitions. That, the Demoncrats thunder, makes those petitions - and all the other names on them - invalid. By their calculations, that would put Herbie below the needed 4,000 signatures to qualify for the ballot. Bold new concept.

This well-crafted plot to derail Herbie - we suspect that the Demoncrats HIRED these voters to stage this farce - seems spiffy enough, but, so far, it hasn’t passed legal muster with the Secretary of State and a Superior Court judge. Undaunted, the Demoncrats plan to take their whine to the state’s highest court. There’s never an activist judge around when you need one. Life is so damn sucky that way.

Press ‘1' For ENGLISH, Scumbag
Source: Fox News [07/17/08]

From our ‘it’s about damn time’ desk, we bring you this egregiously under-reported Nanny State Nitwit news nugget:

Federal law requires that anyone with a commercial drivers license speak English well enough to talk with police. Authorities last year issued 25,230 tickets nationwide for violations. Now the federal government is trying to tighten the English requirement, saying the change is needed for safety reasons.

Most states let truckers and bus drivers take at least part of their license tests in languages other than English. But the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration has proposed rules requiring anyone applying for a commercial drivers license to speak English during their road test and vehicle inspection. The agency wants to change its rules to eliminate the use of interpreters, and congressional approval isn't required.

Drivers could still take written tests in other languages in states where that is allowed, and they wouldn't have to be completely fluent during the road test, said Bill Quade, an associate administrator with the agency.

"Our requirement is that drivers understand English well enough to respond to a roadside officer and to be able to converse," said Quade, who heads enforcement. Drivers need to be able to communicate with authorities about their loads and their vehicles, he said. (Fox)

As laws go, this one rocks our world. If Chico, Wang or Abdul wants to drive on OUR roads, in this land conceived in liberty, he, she, heshe or it needs to be able to communicate in the prevailing language ENGLISH. Bold new concept, and, like we said at the beginning, IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME.

Sanity Across the Pond?
Source: Telegraph [07/16/08]

The Brit Labor government is losing support and everybody knows it. Their knee-jerk Korrectness has finally brought those ‘what the hell are you smoking’ chickens home to roost. That’s why the Labor libs are trying to steal an issue from the political rivals with a law that, on paper, gives law abiding Brit citizens the right to defend themselves, and their property, from law breaking asshats:

In practice, householders are seldom prosecuted if they harm or even kill an intruder but the Act will give them greater legal protection. They will be able to use force against criminals who break into their homes or attack them in the street without worrying that "heat of the moment” misjudgements could see them brought before the courts.

Under new laws police and prosecutors will have to assess a person’s actions based on the person’s situation "as they saw it at the time” even if in hindsight it could be seen as unreasonable.

For example, homeowners would be able stab or shoot a burglar if confronted or tackle them and use force to detain them until police arrive. Muggers could be legally punched and beaten in the street or have their own weapons used against them.

However, attacking a fleeing criminal with a weapon is not permitted nor is lying in wait to ambush them.

The new laws follow a growing public campaign for people to be given the right to defend themselves and their own homes in the wake of a number of high profile cases. (Telegraph)

Has the right of self-defense finally made landfall in the U.K.? Perhaps, but after the chads are punched and counted, all bets are off. If Labor wins, the cops will, once again, resume their task of protecting Brit criminals from the law abiding citizens they victimize.

Parting shot: Givien the Draconian Brit gun laws, and the severe restrictions on knives, how, exactly, is a law-abiding Brit going to defend himself? If he does have something that fits the bill, he won't be arrested for 'self defense', he'll be arrested for having a 'dangerous weapon'.

Wrangling Over A Cash Cow’s Milk
Source: Daily Mail [07/14/08]

If you base your opinion on the headline, you’d probably hail the Brit Elected Tormentors on the Swindon Borough Council as ‘heros’. With a headline like this, that makes sense:

Council scraps all its speed cameras to fight-back against the 'blatant tax on the motorist'

Since this particular council is run by the, relatively speaking, co