Skipper’s New Gig
Source: PIG News Wire [07/23/10]

Venezuela’s tyrant for life, Hugo ‘Skipper’ Chavez, is - he keeps telling us - a man of endless talents. There is - he bloviates - no limit on what he can accomplish, once he puts his mind too it. This week, Skipper added a new entry to his Manhattan phone book-size resume: grave robber.

Aided and abetted by his CSI: Caracas minions, Skipper raided the grave of his ‘other’ hero, Simon Bolivar, the room temperature due whom Skipper admires almost as much as narcissist Hugo loves himself. Why, you ask, is Skipper disinterring Bolivar? He’s seeking proof of a 180 year old - TA DA - murder.

Hugo Chavez has opened the tomb of his idol Simon Bolivar as the Venezuelan government investigates the president's suspicions of foul play in the South American independence hero's death nearly two centuries ago.

Chavez announced the exhumation of Bolivar's remains early Friday on Twitter, saying he wept with emotion seeing the "glorious skeleton" of the man he calls the inspiration of his Bolivarian Revolution.

While historians say it's well-established that Bolivar died of tuberculosis in 1830, Chavez has another theory, saying he suspects Bolivar was murdered _ even though he acknowledges it may be impossible to prove.

Attorney General Luisa Ortega Diaz said more than 50 experts and other professionals ranging from criminal investigators to pathologists have been involved in examining the remains. (News Max)

How detached is Skipper from objective reality? It’s off the scale.

A Woman of Few Words
Source: Yahoo News [07/21/10]

Ieshuh Griffin is, I’m pleased to state, a woman whose command of the English language is impressive. An independent candidate for the Wisconsin state Assembly, this Melanin-Enriched politician boiled down her political platform to five show-stopping words: not the white man’s bitch. Her impressive prose did not go unnoticed:

[T]he state's Government Accountability Board voted to bar that wording, agreeing with a staff recommendation that it is pejorative and therefore not allowed.

State law allows independent candidates to have five words describing themselves placed after their names on the ballot as long as it's not pejorative, profane, discriminatory or includes an obscene word or phrase.

Griffin, who is black, argued her case to the five white, retired judges on the board that regulates elections. She said the phrase was protected free speech.

"It's a freedom of expression," she said. "It's not racial. It's not a slur."

She convinced three of the judges that the wording should be allowed, but two said it should not. One judge was absent, and Griffin needed four votes to succeed. Griffin said she intends to seek an injunction in federal court. (Yahoo News)

I no bull crap admire this woman’s command of the language. "NOT the white man’s bitch" manages to tell a chad puncher everything you need to know about Ms. Griffin, in 5 rock ‘em, sock ‘em words. Nicely done, darlin’.

Nanny State Word Games
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [07/20/10]

I stumbled over this on-line and decided to give you an advanced peek at a slam dunk for PIG’s end of the year awards pages. If you thought ‘man caused disasters’ was the ultimate in Nanny State doublespeak, get over it.

Here are the fun facts from a Mexifornia fishwrap, the Redding Record-Searchlight

In the Forest Service's news release about the recent string of marijuana busts, I discovered a term of art I'd never encountered before:

During the raid, a U.S. Forest Service K-9 team located Gauldry Almonte-Hernandez, a displaced foreign traveler from Michoacán Mexico, who had tried to flee the area and hide while officers were performing entry into the marijuana garden.

"Displaced foreign traveler"? Makes it sound like he meant to go to Disneyland, got lost, and ended up at a pot plantation in the woods south of Hayfork.

The fishwrap scribbler is on the right track, with his snarky comment about "displaced foreign traveler", but slightly off the mark. To me "displaced foreign traveler" makes this weed-wrangling, border jumping scumbag sound like a lost piece of airline luggage, which, inexplicably, ended up in a Northern Mexifornia pot farm. I’m just sayin’.

Utah Targets Border Jumpers
Source: Tammy Bruce’s Blog [07/12/10]

Utah has, belatedly, decided to ‘level the playing field’, when it comes to handing out food stamps. Until now, legal denizens of Utah - especially American citizens - were assessed for food stamp eligibility based on their FULL income. On the other hand, border jumping scumbag invaders faced a much lower economic hurdle. Those days are over. From now on, border jumpers will need to disclose their FULL income too, when trying to free load off the Nanny State.

At the beginning of July, more than 2,000 families with undocumented immigrants stopped receiving food stamp benefits because of a change in Utah’s rules. Now a growing number of them are showing up at emergency food pantries confused and needing help…

Earlier this year, the state announced it would begin to fully count the income earned by all members of a household when determining food stamp eligibility. Previously, only a portion of undocumented immigrants’ income was counted in the food stamp calculation, due to the limitations of an old computer system.

That meant, in some prior cases, that a family with several undocumented members might qualify for food stamps although a family of native Utahns making the same amount of money might not [outrageous!--T].

“We believe this is fair and equitable across the board to treat all people equally when it comes to calculating the benefits that people get when they apply for food stamps,” said Curt Stewart, a spokesman for the state Department of Workforce Services, which oversees the food stamp program. (Tammy’s Blog)

This just in...some are more equal than other has been sent packing in Utah. Bold new concept.

Back Pedaling Bean Town Buttheads
Source: Hot Air [07/12/10]

According to Ed Morrissey, the Bean Town boycott of Arizona is, at best, pathetic. It started out like gangbusters, but as time passed, it lost much, if not all, of its steam.

* When the Darth Vader of border enforcement - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer - showed up in Boston, none of the boycott bonkers city council members crawled out from under their rocks to hoist the boycott Arizona banner.

* One of the prime movers on the city’s Arizona boycott, city council punk John Tobin, violated the prime Arizona boycott directive, when he - GASP - attended a game between the Boston Red Sox and the - SHUDDER - Arizona Diamondbacks.

* The highly touted protest of Governor Brewer’s visit to Bean Town was, to say the least pathetic. Less than 400 protesters showed up AND most of them were bussed in from out of town.

It appears that boycott fever has run its course in Bean Town, and not a moment too soon. First SENATOR Scott Brown, now THIS? I’m shocked, shocked, I tell you.

Illinois Fat Nazis Target Soft Drinks
Source: CBS [07/13/10]

Full of themselves and IT, Illinois’ Fat Nazis are painting a bull’s-eye on soft drinks, and other sugared beverages, but it’s okay, they insist, because it’s for the children. Determined to goose step Illinois denizens into compliance, the Fat Nazis plan to use the coercive power of the Nanny State - insane taxes - to force sovereign individuals to comply.

If you think taxation’s sole purpose is to fund the LEGITIMATE activities of the Nanny State, get over it. These Fat Nazi ASSHOLES laugh at such archaic notions. Like the Elected Tormentors who are deliberately, systematically, destroying our inalienable individual liberty, the Fat Nazis understand that the real purpose of taxation is social engineering.

Illinois Public Health Institute CEO Elissa Bassler said, "Maybe changing the ways we use beverages can be a part of handling obesity."

The idea is spreading across the country and here in Illinois, home to the fourth worst rate of childhood obesity.

"Some of the current research is talking about a penny or two cents an ounce as needed to be expensive enough to affect consumption," said Bassler.

So if policy followed research, a two liter might cost you anywhere from 60 cents to $1.20 more. (CBS)

Somebody needs to round up these Fat Nazi bastards, shove a live grenade up their smug, sanctimonious asses, then pull the pin. BOOM! The world is a much better, much FREER, place. I’m just sayin’.

More Border Insanity
Source: News Max [07/06/10]

Given the importance of this information, why isn’t the Elephant Clan bellowing this from the rooftops? Why indeed? Why isn’t everyone discussing the alarming news that ‘a Hezbollah terror cell may by operating among drugs cartels around the U.S.-Mexican border’? Why is U.S. Republican National Committee Rep. Sue Myrick, the only one who is talking about it?

THIS is too important to ignore:

The Republican representative referenced several incidents that show evidence of Hezbollah's efforts to infiltrate the U.S. region with the aid of Mexican drug cartel gangs.

"It is vital we know what is happening on our border, especially as crime and violence continue to rise there and as terrorist plots and threats are increasing inside the U.S.," quoted the Fox News report.

Myrick cited the warming relationship between Iran and Venzuela as proof that Hezbollah members may be collaborating with Latin American drug cartels, who may be utilizing Hezbollah's ability to dig underground tunnels for drug smuggling and in turn, providing funding, document forging, and false identities. (News Max)

Why isn’t Jihad Janet Napolitano looking into this? She’s too busy putting rug rats on our no fly list and trying to pin a ‘domestic terrorism’ rap on Tea Party patriots.

How many MORE Americans need to die in a Jihadikaze attack, inside the USA? What is it going to take to make the Obama Regime do their sworn duty to safeguard our porous borders?

Border Insanity Fallout
Source: Hot Air [07/05/10]

Politics, some know-it-all once opined, makes strange bedfellows. That political axiom has the ring of truth, this week, as reported by the scribes at Hor Air:

Anticipating a furor of voter criticism over the July Fourth recess, Democratic lawmakers from the border region shot back at the White House last week, challenging the president’s speech on immigration in which he said that the southern border is secure.

Arizona Democratic Reps. Ann Kirkpatrick, Harry Mitchell and Gabrielle Giffords joined a growing Republican chorus in denouncing President Barack Obama for not pushing for more specific action in his Thursday speech on the nation’s immigration and border security issues.

Obama said that the U.S.-Mexico border is more secure today than at any time in the past 20 years. But the three Arizona Democrats disagreed.

“The crisis on America’s borders won’t be addressed with words,” said Giffords. “I was disappointed to hear the president give short shrift to border security concerns by saying that our nation’s southern border is more secure today than at any time in the past 20 years.

“That is not a sign of progress, it is a statement on the poor job we have done in securing the border for the past two decades.”

Admittedly, their actions are motivated, in large part, by the midterm math which is far from favorable, for all three of them. It’s also motivated by the fact that border jumping scumbag invaders are a threat to the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness of their constituents.

Parting shot: I don’t care why they bitch-slapped Barry, because anything that gives that Commie son-of-a-bitch heartburn is fine with me.

Never On Sunday, Goes Down For the Count
Source: WLFI [07/04/10]

In bygone days, motivated by their supernaturalism, Indiana’s Elected Tormentors slapped a ‘never on Sunday’ sign on the outposts of adult beverage capitalism run by craft brewers. It meant that a day when business should be brisk, these capitalist outposts had to turn away eager customers.

The FSOP has friends/family in Indiana, so we are pleased as punch that the relevant Elected Tormentors were persuaded to pull their heads out of their butts on this infringement of an adult beverage wrangler’s liberty:

This Independence Day will be one to remember for Indiana craft brewers. Hoosiers are finally being allowed to take home their craft brewery purchases on Sundays.

Lafayette Brewing Company owner Greg Emig said it's been an eight year battle for brewery owners. Together they worked with a lobbyist to make sure state legislators heard their voice.

"I'm really happy that they finally made the change for us. We just felt we are Indiana producers, we're doing artisan products and we wanted to get those out the public. Sunday is one of those busy days of the week. So that was our focus in trying to get this done," said Emig.

Emig added, a lot of the issue was the perception of Sunday sales.

"Ironically Sunday sales have been happening and carry out sales have been happening since about the mid-80's for the Indiana wineries and that's another tourism based industry," said Emig.

Being open on Sunday will mean big changes like adding more shifts, staff and hopefully more customers.

"This will be the first time that we are open on a regular basis on Sundays. So we really don't know, we are looking forward to it. We think it's going to have a big impact," said Emig.

During the summer, Sunday sales will be monitored on a weekly basis but the full impact won't be felt until sixth months later, during the middle of football season. "The summer around here is a little bit different than the fall. You know obviously football season over at Purdue and that kind of thing brings in a lot more people. We'll have a better picture by the end of the year," said Emig. (WLFI)

The FSOP is proud to welcome Indiana to the 21st century.

Nanny State Nitwit Adventures
Source: PIG News Wire [07/02/10]

Hambo’s Laws Strike Again
In case someone asks at the trial, this is the relevant dose of Hambo wisdom:

Hambo's Marketplace Theorem
For every asinine, intrusive, liberty infringing bureaucratic action, there is an equal, and opposite, liberty restoring marketplace reaction.

In this instance, the ‘asinine, intrusive, liberty infringing bureaucratic action’ is Messiah Barry’s scheme to reimpose his offshore drilling moratorium. Unwilling to tolerate that crap, the relevant capitalists are seeking new oil reserves in other, capitalism-friendly, regions of the world:

WASHINGTON (Dow Jones)–Executives from oil and gas companies on Monday concluded an hour-long meeting with U.S. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar without securing promises from the government to lift a deepwater-drilling moratorium imposed after a disastrous BP PLC (BP) oil spill…

“Numerous operators told Secretary Salazar that they were in the final stages of moving rigs, deepwater rigs out of the Gulf of Mexico and to West Africa and the Middle East,” according to a person familiar with the matter. “We were frankly disappointed at the lack of serious attention that was paid by the Department of the Interior on the horrible economic impact that the Department of Interior’s policies are having on the industry and on communities along the Gulf Coast.” (Wall Street Journal)

I’d like to tell you that Messiah Barry gives a damn about this hit to our struggling economy, but I can’t. Since he’s out to destroy capitalism, he’s the kind of Marxist rat bastard who will celebrate this news as a victory.

Nevada’s Self-Inflicted Wound
From our ‘it probably seemed like a good idea at the time’ news desk, PIG News brings you some thrilling news from the state that pooped out Whorehouse Harry Reid. Already saddled with a 14% unemployment rate - the highest in the nation - Nevada is raising its minimum wage: employees without health benefits will see an increase from $7.55 to $8.25 per hour; employees with health benefits will see a minimum wage increase from $6.25 to $7.25 an hour.

I know what you’re thinking, and I tend to agree that anyone who raises the minimum wage during the Great Obamunist Recession must be smoking crack. They might be smoking crack in the state capitol, but there’s a mitigating factor which, partially absolves them.

This particular wound was self-inflicted, 4 years ago, in November 2006, when the state shot its economy in the wallet, by passing a constitutional amendment which changed the state’s rules of minimum wage engagement. Under the amended rules, the state must ‘adjust the wage yearly, taking cost of living and federal wages into consideration’. What they don’t take into consideration is the impact on the state’s already struggling capitalists.

The Reno-based Port of Subs sandwich shops chain is a prime example.

In Reno and Las Vegas alone, Port of Subs operates 18 restaurants.

"It's (total cost to the chain) going to equate to an average of $65,000 over the next 12 months," [Port of Subs president Mike] Powell said of the Nevada impact. "It adds up. It means we're going to make $65,000 less than a year ago if everything stays the same." (Reno Gazette-Journal)

Raising the minimum wage has certain well-documented, unavoidable consequences:

The wage increase could deter employers from hiring, said Elliott Parker, University of Nevada, Reno professor and chair of economics.

While expenses will undoubtedly increase, Doug Kurkul, CEO of the Reno Sparks Chamber of Commerce, foresees a bigger change.

"Some employers will experience higher labor costs as a result of the minimum wage hike, but the biggest impact may be on lower-skill workers, who may find fewer job opportunities available," Kurkul said. (Gazette-Journal)

Load gun. Extend foot. Take aim. Open fire. Smooth moves, Nevada. You just added a few more digits to your highest in the nation unemployment rate.

Mosquito In The Crosshairs
Source: New Zealand Herald [06/21/10]

When a capitalist is besieged by a mob of teenagers, whose noisy lurking chases away paying customers, he, she, heshe, or it, might respond, by unleashing a terror of technology called the mosquito. I know what you’re thinking, but this isn’t THAT kind of mosquito, but it’s almost as irritating as those airborne pests.

In this case, a mosquito is a device which emits a very annoying sound that can only be heard by tykes, teenagers, and people in their early 20's. In other words, it paints a bull’s-eye on the part of the populace that’s problematic to certain capitalists. It does this by emitting a 16-18.5 kilohertz pulse which switches on and off 4 times a second for up to 20 minutes. Bold new concept.

Predictably, killjoys in positions of authority have ‘issues’ with the mosquito and they want it banned:

Critics, however, say the device targets all children and young people, including babies, regardless of whether they are misbehaving.

The council, which oversees the European Court of Human Rights, says the device contravenes international law prohibiting torture and inhuman and degrading treatment. "It is neither politically acceptable nor consistent with the safeguard of fundamental human rights. For these reasons, legislative measures should be taken throughout Europe against the marketing of such devices and their use in public places should be banned."

Calls for a ban by Europe's oldest political body are likely to be approved by the council's parliamentary assembly in Strasbourg this week. (NZ Herald)

I’m more than a little amazed to report that J.O.E., where the mosquito was developed - and widely deployed - refused to play along when the killjoys tried to enlist official, Nanny State, support. In fact, J.O.E.’s officials didn’t even respond to the questionnaire the killjoys sent them.

Save the mosquito!

Some Are More Equal
Source: Boston Herald [06/19/10]

The kindest thing I can say about a former Homeland Stupidity ‘honcho’, Lorraine Henderson, is that she got too close to her work. Her work, in this case involved keeping border jumpers from entering the USA illegally, through Boston’s Logan Airport, where she worked as the federal port chief.

More likely, Lorraine believed that the nation’s immigration laws didn’t apply to her, so she had no qualms about hiring a Brazilian maid who is/was in the USA illegally. When Lorraine got caught, she was suspended from her job and landed in a Bay State courtroom facing federal charges.

It’s an infuriating situation, so it’s not that shocking that U.S. District Court Judge Douglas Woodlock lost his cool. What is news is the reason the judge went postal. He’s pissed at the prosecutors for hitting Lorraine with felony charges, and he’s seriously considering an acquittal.

“It was a cleaning lady,” U.S. District court Judge Douglas P. Woodlock said of the Brazilian maid hired by Lorraine Henderson. “A cleaning lady. Not Al Capone.”

What started as the sentencing of the 52-year-old former federal port chief quickly was derailed by Woodlock, who threw prosecutors hypothetical questions about the law and lectured them on government tyranny.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Diane Freniere appeared to wilt under the third-degree lashing. Then her boss, Assistant U.S. Attorney John McNeil, stepped in. He fared no better. “Don’t give me, ‘With all due respect.’ We’re past that,” Woodlock chided him. “What I’m asking is, is this aggressive over-reaching of the government? Answer the question.”

Woodlock delayed sentencing Henderson, who faces a maximum of five years in jail for one count of encouraging or inducing an illegal alien.

“It was hapless hypocrisy and she shouldn’t have done it,” Woodlock said. “She was wrong, but a felony? It couldn’t even be a misdemeanor? A person’s life has been crushed as a result of prosecutorial discretion.” (Boston Herald)

Lorraine’s "life has been crushed" because she broke a law that she was hired to enforce. When that happens, a person must pay a very heavy price. Judge Woodlock should know this, but he, like Lorraine, seems to buy into that Orwellian notion that some are more equal than others.

Smoke & Mirrors
Source: News Max [06/17/10]

You’ll be thrilled spitless, when I tell you about the latest ‘bold new concept’ pooped out by the Obama Regime. With our borders strictly enforced, and that pesky border jumping scumbag invader problem resolved, FOR ALL TIME, Messiah Barry’s minions are ‘remaking ICE’. How? It’s undergoing a reorganization to de-emphasize border jumper roundups and deportations, and refocus Immigration and Customs Enforcement on ‘criminal investigations’ and ‘other duties’. See, I told you that you’d be thrilled spitless.

“Officials hope to highlight the agency’s counterterrorism, money laundering and other complex criminal investigations and in the process ‘re-brand’ ICE, turning the public — and political — spotlight away from its immigration work,” the Washington Post reported on Thursday.

A major thrust of the reorganization, which includes streamlining and renaming several offices, is to change public perception of the agency. Many Americans believe ICE is devoted strictly to dealing with illegal immigrants, but “half of the agency is devoted to something else,” said ICE Assistant Secretary John Morton. (News Max)

Since border enforcement is, under this Obama Regime scheme, a job that Uncle Sam won’t do, that only leaves one viable option. If We the People want our borders enforced...if We the People want to get rid of border jumping scumbag invaders, sooner or later, we’ll be forced to do that dirty, but necessary, job ourselves.

Oklahoma Stages A Pre-emptive Strike On Shariah Law
Source: Fox News [06/15/10]

In late May, Oklahoma’s state legislature got the ball rolling on a proposed amendment to the state constitution. If the voters approve the resulting ballot initiative, local courts would be banned from considering Shariah, or any other international law, in their rulings.

I know what you’re wondering, and I admit that the same thing crossed my mind, too, initially. To date, there haven’t been any instances where Shariah has reared its liberty-nuking head. As far as I know, there aren’t any Oklahoma Islamikazes who are clamoring for it, but why wait for that?

Though the question's supporters have not pointed to any specific outbreak of Shariah, or Islamic law, being considered in the U.S. judicial system, they describe it as an encroaching threat. State Rep. Rex Duncan, author of the measure, has called the ballot question a "preemptive strike" against Shariah coming to his state.

Duncan said in a statement after the vote that he hopes other states will soon follow Oklahoma's lead. "Judges in other states and on the federal bench have increasingly turned to citing international law in their court decisions, something I and others feel is grossly inappropriate in a sovereign state such as our own," he said.

In an interview with The Edmond Sun, Duncan said the courts' willingness in Britain to consider Shariah has become "a cancer upon the survivability of the U.K." He said the ballot question "will constitute a preemptive strike against Shariah Law coming to Oklahoma." (Fox)

If this amendment is enacted, courts would be compelled to adhere to the U. S. Constitution, the Oklahoma Constitution, federal law, and state law. It would black flag courts from invoking "the legal precepts of other nations or cultures". It sounds like a spiffy idea that should be added to the constitution of EVERY state.

Painting A Bull’s-Eye on Health & Safety, In J.O.E.
Source: Daily Mail [06/14/10]

J.O.E.’s new leader, Prime Minister David Cameron, made an important first step toward reviving his country, this week. How? He announced plans to reverse a decade of health and safety rules which make life, and business, in J.O.E. relentlessly sucky.

"The rise of the compensation culture over the last ten years is a real concern, as is the way health and safety rules are sometimes applied. We need a sensible new approach that makes clear these laws are intended to protect people, not overwhelm businesses with red tape." (Daily Mail)

I don’t know how entrenched the Brit bureaucracy is, but, if it’s as dug in as America’s, Prime Minister Cameron is in for one hell of a fight. I just hope he has the stomach for it.

Parting shot: Since so much of this health and safety insanity is imposed by the European Union, Prime Minister Cameron won’t be able to nuke it, entirely. He will, however, have the power to strip away what one of his key minions termed ‘the gold plating’ that Brit officials slathered on it, under the Labor regime.

"We’re Out of Money, Now"
Source: Golden Oinks [06/10/10]

When it comes to irony, this one - as Hot Air’s Ed Morrissey points out - is off the scale. This week, the Nanny State Nitwits in the PIG spotlight are the Red Shed retards, who perpetrated Messiah Barry’s Deficit Commission - the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform. Ed opines that the name for this Barry brainfart should be changed to something with a generous dose of objective reality:

[A] better title may have been the Accountability Avoidance Commission, since it owes its existence to the need for Obama to avoid political blame for the massive tax hikes he needs to fund his nanny-state agenda.

As fun as this must sound, it gets better, because this paragon of progressivism and fiscal virtue are - TA DA - out of money.

‘...[D]espite the weighty demands, the panel has only a fraction of the staff and budget of standing congressional committees. The panel’s own cochairs and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., have criticized the meager resources and called for more support. …

According to fiscal commission staffers, there are 10 to 15 people who work for the commission, including two full-time employees, interns, employees “borrowed” from other agencies such as the Office of Management and Budget and the Treasury Department, and special government employees, who are expected to work no more than 130 days in a calendar year. The number of workers will likely grow to around 20 by midsummer.

The White House has set aside the resources to provide the equivalent of four full-time salaries and $500,000 in operating costs for the commission, fiscal commission Executive Director Bruce Reed told Tax Analysts...’

The commission has as many as 15 employees, two full-time, for their work. Congress has allocated $500,000 in operating costs apart from the four full-time employees for the life of the panel, which produces its report on December 1. That is about $50,000 per month to analyze the federal budget and develop proposals for cuts, based on having an unpaid commission full of supposed experts in this field. I ran a call center of 45 people with a budget just over four times that much, which included the salaries and a lot of costs that the Deficit Commission won’t have to address, such as phone lines, rent, capital depreciation, and so on. (Hot Air)

How eager is Messiah Barry to put his financial house in order? Not very, because the last thing he wants, or needs, is having those ‘hey big spender’ chickens coming home to roost at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Size Matters
Source: AFP [06/07/10]

When it comes to certain elements of French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s life, size matters. Admittedly a ‘big man’, politically, in La Belle France, President Sarkozy is brought down to earth by one incontrovertible element of objective reality: he’s only 5 feet, 5 inches tall. That makes him shorter than most other international leaders. He’s also at least 5 inches shorter than his hottie wife, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. For a dude, he’s short, a painful truth that bugs the crap out of him.

He has gone out of his way not to stand small on the world stage or when next to his 5ft 10 ins former model wife, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, who mostly wears flat pumps.

Besides wearing specially-designed stacked shoes, Mr Sarkozy has been caught standing on tiptoes in global leader group shots and stood on a box to remain shoulder to shoulder with Barack Obama, the US President, when the pair gave speeches to commemorate the Normandy landings last year.

But his most controversial move to date on the height front was when his aides bussed in a group of factory workers last September who claimed they had been picked to appear alongside the French leader because they were short. (AFP)

How hypersensitive is he? He’s so sensitive that he’s even rejecting applicants for his personal security staff who are ‘too tall’. If you’re a highly trained professional, and you’re often mistaken for a redwood, don’t even think about it, giraffe breath Sparky.

Granite State Fiddling
Source: PIG News Wire [06/01/10]

If you’re looking for heaven on Earth, you might want to add ‘Rochester, New Hampshire’ to your list of candidates. Why? Life is so Edenesque, in Rochester, that the biggest speed bump on the vaunted police radar is the glass pipe. Apparently, this recreational pestilence is all that stands between Rochester and perfection, so members of the Police Commission are making the rounds to find them, and evict them from this Granite State paradise.

Since glass pipes are associated with weed, and other narcotics, they are classified as ‘drug paraphernalia’. There’s no room for that kind of thing in Rochester, a message that at least two Police Commissioners are spreading via in person visits to certain Rochester capitalists.

Commissioners Lucien Levesque, Al Bemis and Jim McManus recently spent four hours going around to every convenience store, gas station and mom-and-pop store in the city to meet with store owners. Levesque said they entered the stores together wearing their commission jackets, which caught some businesses off guard.

"I think we sort of blew them out of the water," he said. "We wanted to make a point and I think we did."

The commissioners said they were well received by businesses that do not carry the items, but had a harder time stating their case at shops that do sell glass pipes. (Fosters)

Determined to pull out all the stops, these roving killjoys, dealt the ‘it’s for the children’ card from the bottom of the deck:

The commissioners said it remains to be seen whether any businesses will take up their suggestions. They would prefer the businesses not carry drug paraphernalia at all, but said they also tried to persuade owners to move the items out of sight of children.

"Instead of having candy bars under the display cases," Bemis said.

McManus pointed out how the pipes are often decorated in bright colors and designs that attract the eye of adults and children alike. Some smoking devices are shaped like animals and would be identical to glass figurines if not for the ability to smoke out of them. (Fosters)

Will Rochester Police Commissioners evict this glass pipe snake from their Granite State Eden? When we know, you’ll know.

Parting shot: For those of you who, like me, wondered if they don’t have anything better to do, the answer seems to be an unambiguous ‘nope’.

Health & Safety Killjoys Strike Again
Source: PIG News Wire [06/01/10]

I’m sad to report the untimely demise of a premier sporting event. Thanks to that pernicious Brit pestilence, the Health & Safety Nazi, the first World Dwile Flonking Championships were canceled at the last minute. Why? Because the Brits have this asinine law which bans speed drinking.

Don’t get suicidal, if you’re not up to speed on the fine points of Dwile Flonking. Here, courtesy of the London Telegraph, is how it works:

During the game, ''flonkers'' use a pole to launch a beer-soaked cloth at opponents, with the aim of giving them a hearty wet slap in the face.

Rules state if their soggy missile misses its target twice in a row, the competitor must down a pot - or half - of ale as quickly as possible.

Hit in the face with a beer-soaked cloth? Here in the PIG Bunker we call that SOP for a staff meeting, but we aren’t the first ones to perpetrate it:

Experts are divided over when the sport was first introduced.

Some say that Dwile Flonking may have been played in Norfolk and Suffolk since the middle ages as a traditional form of entertainment while others believe it was invented by a group of Suffolk printing apprentices in 1966.

The word ''dwile'' comes from Suffolk dialect meaning dishcloth and ''flonk'' could be derived from ''flong'', a printing term to describe a paper mould used to create a type impression. (Telegraph)

What, you ask, is the downside of telling the killjoys ‘bite me’ and holding the world championships anyway? Under this Nanny State edict, a pub could lose its license. Furthermore, a pub landlord could be fined $30,000 and get exiled to a graybar hotel for up to six months. That’s no way to reward patriotic Brits who are honoring a venerable tradition.

Another TSA Triumph
Source: PIG News Wire [05/28/10]

It made its gala debut in 2003.

It employs 3,000 TSA butt scratchers in 161 U.S. Airports from sea to shining sea.

It costs $212,000,000 per year, and TSA wants that bumped up to $232 million in 2011.

Last, but not least, the scheme doesn’t work:

A Transportation Security Administration program to screen passengers at airports based on their behavior missed at least 16 people later linked to terror plots, according to a government report released last week.

The program — dubbed Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques — began testing in October 2003 to identify those who pose a risk to aviation security by focusing on behavior and appearance. But the program was introduced without valid "scientific basis" and still faces operational challenges, says the report by the Government Accountability Office. "A scientific consensus does not exist on whether behavior-detection principles can be reliably used for counterterrorism purposes," the report says. (USA Today)

As thrilling as that sounds, that’s only the beginning:

The report says TSA is failing to fully use "the resources it has available to systematically collect and analyze the information obtained by (officers) on passengers who may pose a threat." For example, the TSA generally does not check all law enforcement and intelligence databases available to identify persons referred by officers. Using these resources would help TSA better "connect the dots," the report concludes. (USA Today)

Proving that the GAO is developing a sense of humor, they want the TSA to have a group of rational adults - independent experts - monitor the TSA’s antics, in order to impose "a rigorous scientific validation" of their pet program. It’s an excellent suggestion which has a snowball’s chances in hell of earning a TSA ‘okey dokey’.

Why Guarding Our Borders Matters
Source: Fox News [05/26/10]

If you think Juan, Maria, and Nino are the most important reason to safeguard our borders, get over it. According to this Fox News story, there’s something much more dangerous to our liberty that is invading us from Mexico than border jumping parasites seeking a handout and drug gangs seeking new victims/customers.

What is this unwanted import? You’re going to be thrilled:

‘...The Department of Homeland Security is alerting Texas authorities to be on the lookout for a suspected member of the Somalia-based Al Shabaab terrorist group who might be attempting to travel to the U.S. through Mexico, a security expert who has seen the memo tells FOXNews.com.

The warning follows an indictment unsealed this month in Texas federal court that accuses a Somali man in Texas of running a “large-scale smuggling enterprise” responsible for bringing hundreds of Somalis from Brazil through South America and eventually across the Mexican border. Many of the illegal immigrants, who court records say were given fake IDs, are alleged to have ties to other now-defunct Somalian terror organizations that have merged with active organizations like Al Shabaab, al-Barakat and Al-Ittihad Al-Islami.

In 2008, the U.S. government designated Al Shabaab a terrorist organization. Al Shabaab has said its priority is to impose Sharia, or Islamic law, on Somalia; the group has aligned itself with Al Qaeda and has made statements about its intent to harm the United States...’

‘...The DHS alert was issued to police and sheriff’s deputies in Houston, asking them to keep their eyes open for a Somali man named Mohamed Ali who is believed to be in Mexico preparing to make the illegal crossing into Texas. Officials believe Ali has ties to Al Shabaab, a Somali terrorist organization aligned with Al Qaeda, said Joan Neuhaus Schaan, the homeland security and terrorism fellow at Rice University’s Baker Institute, who has seen the alert...’ (Fox)

The good news is that DHS sounded this alarm. The bad news is that DHS is run by a complete and utter moron who won’t even utter the salient terms: terrorist, terrorism.

PIG-Worthy Nanny State News
Source: PIG News Wire [05/21/10]

A Mexas Food Nazi Adventure
San Antonio (Mexas) City Manager Sheryl Sculley borrowed a play from Big Apple mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Food Nazi playbook, this week. Unable to inflict her ‘for your own good’ brainfart on the whole city, Food Nazi Sculley confined her antics to her home, city-owned, turf:

Sugary sodas no longer have a home in the city's 250 beverage vending machines and unhealthy foods in the 75 snack machines in city facilities are next.

“I asked the staff to remove the high-calorie soda drinks from our vending machines,” Sculley said. “I'm a fitness person, and I care about our employees, and I want them to be healthy. And I think this is a very small gesture.”

The new city policy is only for vending machines and doesn't ban employees from consuming fatty foods and drinks at work. “But we don't have to promote it,” Sculley said. (Fox Nation)

I had no idea that San Antonio was a veritable Eden, where the biggest, unresolved problem involves the contents of vending machines in city-owned facilities. Learn something new, every day.

Arizona Strikes Again
If you think the Colonista inspired boycotts and cacophonous caterwauling have Arizona state officials cowering under their desks, get over it. Instead of beating a hasty retreat, state officials are pressing their attack on the invaders.

The cow squeeze hit the rotating cooling device, a year ago, when a Spanish-speaking patient showed up with a 12-year old child to serve as her interpreter, seeking the professional service of an Arizona optometrist. Unwilling to risk his livelihood - a malpractice suit waiting to happen - on the accuracy of the child’s translation, John Schrolucke, gave the woman two options. She could return with a translator who is at least 18 years old. Or, he could give her the names of optometrists who speak Spanish. The woman chose option 3: she filed a discrimination complaint with the Attorney General’s office.

It took a year to get it done, but John finally has the state support he needs:

Gov. Jan Brewer has signed legislation affirming that nothing in state law requires businesses to provide "trained and competent" interpreters when a customer comes in speaking a language other than English.

Assistant Attorney General Michael Walker said that has probably always been the law. But that didn't save John Schrolucke from having to spend time and money defending himself and his practice before Walker's office finally dismissed the case. (Fox Nation)

Now, John Schrolucke, and other Arizona capitalists have legal protection from assaults by Colonista-coddling shysters. Once again, Arizona shows the rest of America the way things should be done in this land conceived in liberty.

Arizona Aftershocks Rock Rhode Island
If you think the fight to defend our national sovereignty is confined to the Southwestern United States, get over it. This week, aftershocks from Arizona’s SB 1070 were felt in Rhode Island:

State Representative Peter Palumbo (D-Dist. 16, Cranston) has introduced a new bill in the General Assembly that aims to crack down on illegal immigration in Rhode Island.

The "In Support of Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act" borrows heavily from the recently-enacted immigration laws in Arizona which have prompted some national outcry.

One provision of the bill states that if "reasonable suspicion exists" that a person is an illegal alien, the involved law enforcement agency must make a "reasonable attempt" to verify the person's immigration status with the federal government. Representative Palumbo tells ABC6 that immigration violations would still be considered a secondary offense, meaning that a person could not be stopped by law enforcement solely on suspicion of being an illegal immigrant. (ABC6)

Border jumping scumbags aren’t an Arizona problem. They’re an AMERICAN problem. The FSOP welcomes State Rep. Palumbo to the battle to defend our national sovereignty.

Another Intolerable Act From Messiah Barry’s Regime
It’s bad enough that the Obama Regime refuses to defend our national borders, without this. It’s bad enough, that the Obama Regime demonizes Arizona’s determination to do the job Uncle Sam won’t do, without this. What’s ‘this’? It’s a statement from a top Obama Regime official that the Department of Homeland Stupidity might refuse to process any border jumpers who are bagged and tagged by Arizona officials.

Fox served up these noxious news nuggets:

John Morton, assistant secretary of homeland security for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, made the comment during a meeting on Wednesday with the editorial board of the Chicago Tribune, the newspaper reports.

"I don't think the Arizona law, or laws like it, are the solution," Morton told the newspaper.

The best way to reduce illegal immigration is through a comprehensive federal approach, he said, and not a patchwork of state laws.

Immigrant rights' supporters around the country took to the streets on May 1 to protest Arizona's new immigration law which seeks to identify, prosecute and deport illegal immigrants. Take a look at the massive protests.

The law, which criminalizes being in the state illegally and requires authorities to check suspects for immigration status, is not "good government," Morton said.

John Morton is determined to betray our country. He’s a miserable TRAITOR and deserves a TRAITOR’S FATE. We need to drag his border jumper loving ass out of his cushy office, then forcibly evicted from the human gene pool. That’s right, PIGsters, I’m invoking my lovely bride’s preferred solution: Just shoot the bastard.

But It’s For The Children!
Source: ABC [05/14/10]

In a rational world, the tug of war between wineries and adult beverage distributors would be settled in the marketplace. In 21st century America, the winner will be determined by which group manages to buy the most Elected Tormentors. After a favorable ‘back off Nanny State Sparky’ Supreme Court ruling, in 2005, liberty - and the wineries - seemed to have the upper hand.

In 2005, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled states can't discriminate between in-state and out-of-state wineries in direct shipping to consumers, prompted more lawsuits as small wineries and brewers sought access to markets in states that had been closed to them. (ABC)

In 2010, the adult beverage distributors have invested in some U.S. Congresspunks, who are pushing through a law which could prevent a winery from shipping its product directly to a consumer. Claiming it’s ‘for the children’, the distributors did the heavy lifting on this bill:

The bill before Congress would reinforce states' rights to regulate alcohol sales and make it harder for special interests to sue to overturn state alcohol laws.

Paul Pisano, general counsel for the National Beer Wholesalers Association, conceded his group drafted the original measure before Congress and its members would benefit by strengthening long-standing liquor laws.

But he said the law's main intent was to clarify liquor laws that have become muddled since the 2005 court decision and led to different rules in different states. An example: One circuit court says states may pass laws based on the volume of a business, while another court says they may not. "That's the type of stuff lawyers are scratching their heads wondering if they're going to be in court on this," Pisano said. "We would hope the bill would preserve the status quo and not allow further erosion in the federal courthouse of core state powers to regulate alcohol."

Many states appear to agree. The National Association of Attorneys General sent a letter urging Congress to take steps to preserve states' rights to regulate alcohol. "We are extremely concerned that alcohol deregulation will make it very difficult for our states to effectively protect the public interest and ensure the safest system of alcohol distribution in the world," said the letter, signed by 39 state attorneys general. (ABC)

If this law passes, the adult beverage distributors would be empowered to muscle out direct - winery to customers - sales through Nanny State coercion, one state at a time. Pay for play politics is SOP in 21st century America.

Reality Check
Source: PIG News Wire [05/08/10]

A 240-page report from the President’s Cancer Panel, is full of fear-inducing hyperventilating about environmental cancer risks. According to Barry’s Cancer Panel, the situation is so dire, that only a massive, Draconian Nanny State intervention will save THE CHILDREN from this deadly, capitalism-perpetrated peril:

Children are especially vulnerable, the panel says. It urges the government to strengthen research and regulation, and advises individuals on ways to limit exposure to potential threats like pesticides, industrial chemicals, medical X-rays, vehicle exhaust, plastic food containers and too much sun.

A cover letter urges President Obama “most strongly to use the power of your office to remove the carcinogens and other toxins from our food, water and air that needlessly increase health care costs, cripple our nation’s productivity, and devastate American lives.”

Nearly 80,000 chemicals are in use in the United States, and yet only a few hundred have been tested for safety, the report notes. It criticizes the nation’s regulatory approach, calling it reactionary rather than precautionary, which means that the government waits for proof of harm before taking action, instead of taking preventive steps when there is uncertainty about a chemical. Regulation is ineffective, the panel says, in part because of inadequate staffing and financing, overly complex rules, weak laws, uneven enforcement and undue industry influence.

The report looks at contaminants from a variety of sources: industry, agriculture, air and water, medical imaging and contaminated military sites. It also considers natural hazards, like radon gas in homes and arsenic in drinking water. The report concludes, “At this time, we do not know how much environmental exposures influence cancer risk.” (NY Times)

Asinine? You bet. Business as usual for Greeniacs? Oh, hell yes!

There is, I’m pleased to report, at least one group that is willing to inject a badly needed dose of objective reality. Who is it? You might be surprised, when I tell you it’s the American Cancer Society.

Dr. Michael Thun, an epidemiologist from the cancer society, said in an online statement that the report was “unbalanced by its implication that pollution is the major cause of cancer,” and had presented an unproven theory — that environmentally caused cases are grossly underestimated — as if it were a fact.

The cancer society estimates that about 6 percent of all cancers in the United States — 34,000 cases a year — are related to environmental causes (4 percent from occupational exposures, 2 percent from the community or other settings).

Suggesting that the risk is much higher, when there is no proof, may divert attention from things that are much bigger causes of cancer, like smoking, Dr. Thun said in an interview. “If we could get rid of tobacco, we could get rid of 30 percent of cancer deaths,” he said, adding that poor nutrition, obesity and lack of exercise are also greater contributors to cancer risk than pollution. (NY Times)

I didn’t think there was enough bull crap in the world to make the American Cancer Society tell a government panel “you’re full of it”.

Banned In Tajikistan
Source: PIG News Wire [05/07/10]

If you think Hambo is the world’s most implacable enemy of Cell Idiocy, you’re tragically deluded. The ‘I hate cell phones’ crown belongs to Tajikistan’s fearless leader, President Emomali Rakhmon. This week, he painted a Nanny State bull’s on the cell idiocy which has reached epidemic proportions (6 million cell idiots in a population of 8 million) in his nation.

Citing health concerns and cost, El Presidente is gearing up for a war on this terror of technology:

"On behalf of the mayor, restrictions have been placed on outdoor advertisements for mobile telephone companies," a spokesman for the Dushanbe mayor's office, Shavkat Sayidov, told AFP. "Their banners and billboards are to be removed from the capital. In place of advertisements by commercial mobile providers, there will be placed information which is useful for your health," he added.

Tajikistan, the poorest state to emerge from the 1991 collapse of the Soviet Union, has achieved impressive mobile penetration, with some six million users out of a population of less than eight million, Rakhmon said. But he blamed the gadgets for causing health problems, and said that they are too expensive his citizens, who live on an average of less than 175 dollars (133 euros) per month, according to IMF statistics. "Every family already has six phones, but a year from now it will be one phone per person," Rakhmon said last week. "It destroys the family, when on average they spend several hundred dollars a year (on their phones)." (AFP)

El Presidente’s heart seems to be in the right place, but I’m troubled by his methods. If he uses his high office as a bully pulpit to persuade his people to go cold turkey on their cell idiocy, I’m down with that. If, on the other hand, he decides to get ‘er done via Nanny State coercion, I refuse to back his play.

Parting shot: If the lab coated hooligans are right and cell blights cause brain tumors, then, in the long term, cell idiocy is a self-correcting problem.

Arizona Elected Tormentors’ Betrayal
Source: Steaming Loads [05/07/10]

Arizona Elected Tormentors stab legal denizens in the back to coddle border jumping scumbag invaders.

In the face of mounting economic pressure, Tucson became the first city to approve a legal challenge to Arizona's controversial new immigration law that requires local police to verify the status of those they "reasonably suspect" are here illegally.

The City Council voted 5-1 Tuesday to sue the state to overturn SB 1070, with only Councilman Steve Kozachik voting no. City Attorney Mike Rankin said the city hasn't decided the timing for suing to block the law, which doesn't take effect until the end of July. Later Tuesday, the Flagstaff City Council voted to sue to stop SB 1070 from going into effect.

Tucson Councilwoman Regina Romero said the city's lawsuit will not cost taxpayers money, which is a key for a city facing a $33 million revenue shortfall next year. (Arizona Daily Star)

Instead of addressing their city’s red-ink nightmare...Instead of confronting the cost of coddling border jumpers who swill - FREE OF CHARGE - at the public trough, these Elected Tormentors are flushing American sovereignty down the crapper. If anything needs to be flushed, it’s these border jumper appeasing Elected Tormentors.

Barry ‘Energizes’ His Worshipers
Source: PIG News Wire [04/30/10]

Full of hot air, and ‘it’, Messiah Barry exhorted the properly-hyphenated to punch a chad for Demoncrat neo-Marxists in the 2010 mid-term elections. He wants your help, but only if you have the proper pedigree. That ‘proper pedigree’ excludes you oppressor Sparky. It also excludes you, too, seasoned citizen Sparky. There’s no room for the likes of YOU in the Church of THE ONE.

[A] video announcement of what Democrats are calling "Vote 2010" is part of a multi-pronged effort by the Democratic National Committee to re-engage the legions of backers _ including first-time voters, young people, blacks, Hispanics, and independents _ who propelled Obama to victory in his groundbreaking campaign.
That won't be easy.

Democrats who control the House and Senate face a tough political environment, partly because of the economic recession and continued joblessness. Obama's party worries about losing the House, and possibly the Senate. Republicans need to win 40 seats in the House, 10 in the Senate to seize control.

Since Obama won the White House, voters of all political stripes have soured on the president and his party; his job performance rate hovers around 50 percent and support for Democrats in Congress is even lower. The growth of government and spending increases have turned off some independent voters. Parts of the Democratic base are frustrated with the pace at which the president has made change. And some Republicans who crossed over to vote for Obama now are disillusioned.

Even some of the most senior Democratic officials don't expect that the coalition of voters who backed Obama will turn out in droves when he's not on the ballot. They didn't in three recent statewide races _ in Virginia, New Jersey and Massachusetts _ even though Obama himself made the same appeal and campaigned in those states on behalf of Democrats. Republicans won all three races.

Of particular concern for Democrats are people who were first-time voters in 2008; they're among the least likely to vote again. (Town Hall)

You know what needs to be done, PIGster Sparky. When the time comes, haul your ass to the polls, then do what you gotta do to safeguard your inalienable liberty.

Why Rat-Face Waxman Backed Down
Source: Hot Air [04/27/10]

Prompter Punk’s signature on DeathCare barely had time to dry, when the fiscal chickens headed home to roost. Fully aware of the financial implications, large American companies, like AT&T and Caterpillar, informed their shareholders about the massive hit to their bottom line, due to DeathCare’s fine print.

Enraged, Henry ‘Rat Faced Weasel’ Waxman summoned the EVIL capitalists to confess their sins against The One, at a Congressional Hearing. He demanded answers, then, when reality intruded, Rat Faced called the whole thing off. Why? This Hot Air posting gives you, the rest of the story:

When major companies declared that a provision of the new health care law would hurt earnings, Democrats were skeptical. But after investigating, House Democrats have concluded that the companies were right to tell investors and the government about the expected adverse effects of the law on their financial results. …

In a memorandum summarizing its investigation, the Democratic staff of the committee said, “The companies acted properly and in accordance with accounting standards in submitting filings to the S.E.C. in March and April.”

Moreover, it said, “these one-time charges were required by applicable accounting rules.” The committee staff said this view was confirmed by independent experts at the Financial Accounting Standards Board and the American Academy of Actuaries.

Mr. Waxman, the chairman of the committee, and Mr. Stupak canceled a hearing at which they had planned to question executives on the effects of the law.

A tabulation by the United States Chamber of Commerce shows that at least 40 companies have taken charges against earnings that total $3.4 billion since the law was signed. (Hot Air)

If, like Rat Face, you think these ‘evil’ capitalists pulled a fast one, get over it. The companies were complying with prevailing Federal law:

As explained here repeatedly, Congress set the rules that required publicly-traded companies to make those statements. The Sarbanes-Oxley laws demand full and complete disclosure of changes to financial positions, especially negative changes. The CEOs would have broken SEC laws had they not announced the writedowns as soon as they were calculated and substantiated. (Hot Air)

And now you know the rest of the story.

Arizona Goes Birther Bonkers?
Source: PIG News Wire [04/23/10]

This week, Arizona’s House of Representatives thrilled Obamunists spitless, when they approved a measure that would require U.S. presidential candidates to prove that they meet the constitutional requirements for POTUS. It would, among other things, force someone like Barry that he’s ‘born in the USA’.

A poster on the Ace of Spades HQ blog served up these pertinent particulars:

Seems like an eminently reasonable law to me. And much more constitutional than using the courts to topple a presidency.

"Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors..."

UPDATE: DrewM. did the work I was too lazy to do; he looked up the proposed language:

"B. The national political party committee for a candidate for president for a party that is entitled to continued representation on the ballot shall provide to the secretary of state written notice of that political party's nomination of its candidates for president and vice-president. Within ten days after submittal of the names of the candidates, the national political party committee shall submit an affidavit of the presidential candidate in which the presidential candidate states the candidate's citizenship and age and shall append to the affidavit documents that prove that the candidate is a natural born citizen, prove the candidate's age and prove that the candidate meets the residency requirements for President of the United States as prescribed in article II, section 1, Constitution of the United States.

C. The secretary of state shall review the affidavit and other documents submitted by the national political party committee and, if the secretary of state has reasonable cause to believe that the candidate does not meet the citizenship, age and residency requirements prescribed by law, the secretary of state shall not place that candidate's name on the ballot."
Looks like any documents demonstrating citizenship will do. Like a U.S. passport, a birth certificate, or a certification of live birth...

Will Arizona get ‘er done? Or, is this just a political ploy to give Messiah Barry and his followers heartburn?

Arizona Thrills Colonistas
Source: PIG News Wire [04/23/10]

On Friday, Colonistas - Messiah Barry, MALDEF, hair incinerating News Nitwits, even Mexican officials - from sea to shining sea, and beyond, had a hissy fit over this:

Gov. Jan Brewer on Friday signed into law a bill that supporters said would give police more powers to deal with illegal immigration in Arizona, the nation's busiest gateway for human and drug smuggling from Mexico and home to an estimated 460,000 illegal immigrants.

The law makes it a crime under state law to be in the country illegally. It also requires local police officers to question people about their immigration status if there is reason to suspect they are illegal immigrants; allows lawsuits against government agencies that hinder enforcement of immigration laws; and makes it illegal to hire illegal immigrants for day labor or knowingly transport them. (Fox)

Where was Messiah Barry...where was MALDEF...where were all these border jumper coddling scumbags, when ILLEGAL ALIENS murdered an Arizona rancher, Robert Krentz, on his own land, here in the USA? If they can’t get outraged over THAT, then all of these assholes need to STFU about Arizona’s newest immigration law.

Senators Demand Answers
Source: PIG News Wire [04/23/10]

In the 5 months since the Fort Hood Jihadikaze gunned down 14 people, Messiah Barry, Homeland Stupidity, and all the president’s minions have done nothing but stonewall, and obfuscate. The object of the Red Shed’s exercise is obvious: make us forget that our military ignored all the warning signs that this murdering piece of shit was/is Jihadikaze bonkers.

This week, at least two United States senators got tired of this Red Shed bullshit, so they took the necessary steps to get some answers. This excerpt from a Hot Air posting brings you up to speed:

Sens. Joseph I. Lieberman (I-Conn.) and Susan Collins (R-Maine) issued the first congressional subpoenas of the Obama administration Monday after accusing the White House of stonewalling their requests for information about the Fort Hood shootings.

In a letter with the subpoenas, the chairman and ranking member of the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee said the FBI and Defense Department had ignored their requests for five months. The Nov. 5 shootings at the Texas base, the largest Army post in the United States, left 13 people dead.

Lieberman and Collins said they sought witnesses and documents about what the government previously knew about the alleged gunman, Army psychiatrist Nidal M. Hasan, and whether it had adequately investigated his pre-shooting communications with Yemeni cleric and suspected terrorist Anwar al-Aulaqi.

Will the Red Shed scumbags cut the crap and come clean? No way in hell, wishful thinking Sparky. Even if this effor proves futilet, the FSOP gives props to Senators Lieberman and Collins for demanding some answers.

Amazing Nanny State Antics
Source: PIG News Wire [04/16/10]

Spirit Air’s Carry-On Baggage Fee
According to full of themselves Elected Tormentors like Up-Chucky Schumer, Spirit Air is run by relentlessly vile capitalists who impose ‘intolerable’ extra charges on their customers. In this case, the ‘intolerable’ extra charge can nail each passenger for as much as $45 for that carry-on bag. In Up-Chuck’s twisted mind, this is all Spirit Air’s doing.

Ed Morrissey’s Hot Air posting shows that these clucking baggage fee pests come home to roost at the U.S. Treasury Department. Under Uncle Sam’s rules of air travel engagement carry-on bags are not ‘an integral service for airlines’. So what? So plenty, because there’s no tax assessed against any fee the airline pins on non-integral services. That fun fact made a fee for carry-on bags very enriching for Spirit Air.

Ed Morrissey serves up these inconvenient - for Up-Chucky - truths:

In other words, this is a case of corporate welfare meeting real-world consequences. The carry-on fee would allow airlines to soak passengers who have been packing more efficiently to avoid the baggage fees that airlines began to impose over the last couple of years to make ends meet. That revenue is subject to taxation, but the carry-on fee would have avoided it, which is why more airlines than Spirit would have eventually followed suit.

This is a good lesson in the consequences of a gamed, progressive tax code. Obviously not even the Treasury understands how such changes affect real-world situations, and neither will Congress in attempting to make this patch. It’s sheer folly to make one kind of baggage income taxable and another tax-free. It creates more compliance costs, which also eventually get passed on to the consumer.

If airlines want to reduce the issues with excessive carry-on baggage, which leads to some delays in departures, then they should eliminate the checked baggage fees they imposed not long ago. That was an obvious incentive for most of us to pack light and stick with carry-on luggage. The federal government should have stayed out of it, though, and let passengers and airlines work out the problem in the marketplace from the beginning.

The law of unintended - but utterly predictable - consequences is alive and well inside the D. C. Beltway. Someone should give Up-Chucky a heads up on that fun fact.

Maine Steps Away From The Transgender Brink
Until those killjoys at FoxNews.com spoiled the fun, Maine’s Human Rights Commission was poised to make life endlessly thrilling for inmates of the state’s outposts of alleged learning. Before this unwanted exposure, the commission was poised to erase all gender lines, because such assigned by reason of birth labels as ‘male’ and ‘female’ oppresses the genderally-confused - A.K.A. transgender individuals.

After FoxNews.com reported last week on the commission’s draft guidelines for how schools should accommodate transgender students, members decided Monday to cancel a public hearing on the issue and indefinitely postpone its work on the brochure entitled "Sexual Orientation in Schools and Colleges."

The Maine Human Rights commission appears to be backing off of a proposal to ban schools from enforcing gender divisions in sports teams, school organizations, bathrooms and locker rooms.

After FoxNews.com reported last week on the commission’s draft guidelines for how schools should accommodate transgender students, members decided Monday to cancel a public hearing on the issue and indefinitely postpone its work on the brochure entitled “Sexual Orientation in Schools and Colleges.”

“They made a decision not to move forward at this time with the guidance,” Patricia Ryan, executive director of the Maine Human Rights Commission, told the Bangor Daily News. “They are feeling that they want some time. There are cases coming before them and they want to figure out the best way to receive public input.” (Fox)

The cow squeeze hit the rotating cooling device, after Maine’s denizens learned that the commission planned to ram through the new gender-erasing guidelines at a meeting where public input was strictly prohibited. When the blowback - aided, abetted, and amplified by the exposure on Fox - reached critical mass, the commission beat a hasty retreat, to ‘think things over’.

Think things over? I should hope to spit, in light of THIS:

But with no date set for the hearing, critics insisted the commission didn’t want to hear about the possible negative impacts of the proposal, which said students ranging from nursery school to post-doctorate could not be required to supply any documentation to prove they were transgender before being allowed to enter the bathroom, locker room, sports team or organization of their choice.

"The reality is, every day we’re seeing more and more cases of exploitation of children and others, and this would be creating an environment where the risk is increased for that exploitation," Ken Trump, President of National School Safety and Security Services, told FoxNews.com.

Kudos are bestowed on Maine’s rational adults for putting a stop to this gender-nuking insanity.

Nanny State Nitwit Games
Source: PIG News Wire [04/09/10]

More French Word Games
Determined to protect the purity of the French language from ongoing assaults by English terms, the French purists at the Académie Française added several new words to the official French Dictionary. This year, they painted a bull’s-eye on the following English terms: "chat", "talk", "newsletter", "tuning" (pimping their ride), and "buzz" (an Internet craze).

After soliciting suitable replacements from school children and students, the word wranglers - aided and abetted by Elected Tormentors and a rapper - coronated the following French terms:

buzz – ramdam
tuning – bolidage
chat – éblabla
newsletter – infolettre
talk – débat

I’m trying give a damn, but I left my ‘thrilled spitless’ in my other pants.

More Federal Food Nazi Games
Determined to save us from ourselves, the Feds are trying to terrify us into nutritional compliance. Leading the goose-stepping parade is Food Nazi Fuhrer/Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS), Kathleen Sebelius. For the good of society as a whole, she will have all the slaves of the American Nanny States - that’s you, who me Sparky - subsisting on rice cakes and crab grass. Okay, I’m exaggerating about the crab grass, but rice cakes are still in play.

Anyway, Fuhrer Kate is working on new food labeling regulations that would ‘require food manufacturers to display nutritional information on the front of packages’.

CNSNews.com shares these jack-booted specifics:

This would mean that the front of a Wheaties box, for example, would display not only the smiling face of a famous athlete but also declare how many calories from fat are in each serving.

“Busy shoppers will be able to go into grocery stores and have some easy to understand information on the front of packages giving them quick data on what is a healthier choice,” said Sebelius at the U.S. Capitol.

“The Food and Drug Administration right now is working with food manufacturers to not only update the nutritional labeling on the back of packages, which right now is written in small bar codes and pretty indecipherable and hasn’t been updated in 20 years, but to move to a front-of-package labeling strategy,” said Sebelius.

James McCarthy, the president and CEO of the Snack Food Association (SFA), which represents 400 snack food manufacturer and supplier companies worldwide, said that the FDA package-front-labeling requirements should be voluntary rather than mandated, adding that the rule would also create a cost burden to food manufacturers.

“If it is done, we would prefer to have it be voluntary as opposed to being mandatory, and we want to make sure that it’s consistent,” McCarthy told CNSNews.com.

“There are huge cost implications, for changing your packaging is very costly,” he said. “Many of our companies are smaller, medium-sized companies that would find it very burdensome to have to change all of their packaging.”

“We think that the companies that want to be able to do this should be able to do it, but it should be uniform in the way that it’s done and there should be certain standards that have to be met,” said McCarthy. “But since we already provide a nutritional label on the back of the packaging and all the information is there, an additional label on the front -- we don’t think it should be mandatory.”

Voluntary labeling regulations? Hold onto that pipe-dream, what are you smoking Sparky.

Brits Bull’s-Eye Binge Drinking
If you’re a Brit, you’ll be thrilled to learn that the Nanny State is mounting a campaign to greatly decrease binge drinking and the problems it causes. If you’re a pub landlord, you’ll be differently-thrilled to learn that the jack-booted minions of the Nanny State are targeting the lion’s share of their enforcement effort on you.

Here are a few of the profits-nuking restrictions imposed on adult drinking emporiums:

‘...Pub owners who offer 'all you can drink' promotions could be jailed from today under new laws designed to curb binge drinking.

Landlords could face six months in prison for offering promotions that lead to irresponsible drinking, such as drinking games and free drinks for women.

The new rules ban the use of 'dentists’ chairs' – in which alcohol is poured directly into the mouths of customers so that they cannot control how much they drink...’

‘...[S]taff in pubs and bars must now offer free tap water free to all drinkers by law.

From July, pubs and bars will also be forced to offer smaller drinking measures so that customers can choose to drink less.

And they will have to ask anyone who looks younger than eighteen for identification before selling them alcohol...’ (Daily Mail)

Since binge DRINKERS are the problem, the Nanny State is punishing adult beverage wrangling capitalists. Yeah, that makes perfect sense, in J.O.E.

Gotcha!
Source: Fox [04/03/10]

A Demoncrat Congresspunk, Phil Hare (D-Ill), shoved his whole leg down his throat, when he tried to defend the indefensible: the DeathCare debacle. Later, after a video of his magic moment when viral, Phil tried to cover his tracks, for all the good it did him.

The controversy began Thursday when Adam Sharp of the St. Louis Tea Party asked Hare which part of the Constitution authorizes the government to require all Americans buy a private product such as health care insurance. The Illinois Democrat replied, "I don't worry about the Constitution on this."

"Jackpot, brother," Sharp said.

Hare cringed in disgust and said, "Oh please. What I care more about, I care more about the people dying every day who don't have health care."

"You care more about that than the U.S. Constitution that you swore to uphold?" Sharp shouted back.
"I believe it says we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," Hare countered.

When an observer pointed out that those words come from the Declaration of Independence, Hare said, "Doesn't matter to me. Either one."

When Sharp pressed Hare to answer where in the Constitution government is granted the authority to mandate the purchase of health insurance, Hare said he didn't know.

"But at the end of the day, I want to bring insurance to every person that lives in this country," Hare said.

Sharp said the law won't do that. (Fox)

Now, Phil swears that he loves the Constitution, a founding, American, document which he can’t pick out of a lineup and can’t distinguish from the Declaration of Independence. Blah, blah, blah.

More DeathCare Details Emerge
Source: PIG News Wire [04/02/10]

Slowly - it’s like the infamous ‘Chinese Water Torture’ - the newly enacted DeathCare Debacle is giving up its secrets. Today, courtesy of a Hot Air posting, we have a few more stinkers for your rapidly growing collection:

* It emerged that chain restaurants, for example, would have to disclose the calorie counts of items on their menus.

* A new federal mandate on businesses of 51 or more employees to provide a private area (not a bathroom) for nursing mothers to pump breast milk for up to a year after giving birth. This means that businesses have to plan for mainly unused floor space in every facility, or face federal sanctions.

* Tanning salons now have to charge a 10% excise tax on their services. That should help the local economies!

* W-2s must now declare “informationally” the value of health-care benefits. This means that W-2s will become even more complicated and will cost businesses billions each year in extra accounting and reporting, which will hit smaller businesses most.

The more I learn about this, the more I hate it. There’s an unintended consequences tsunami headed America’s way and we have those Marxist Demoncrat rat bastards to ‘thank’ for it.

Border Insanity
Source: PIG News Wire [04/02/10]

Mexican drug cartels are in a shooting war with the Mexican army. The situation is, at best, chaotic, and it’s getting worse, with each passing day. There are already troubling signs that the violence is spilling over the border into Mexas, New Mexico and Arizona. At least one American - Arizona rancher, Robert Krentz - has been murdered by a sorry piece of border jumping shit. Worst of all, Robert Krentz was murdered on his own land, here in the USA.

Roused from their slumber, a few Elected Tormentors are trying to get Messiah Barry to do something to protect the American citizens who live in these endangered American border states:

Rep. Kay Granger of Texas, the top Republican on the House Foreign Operations subcommittee, told Fox News on Thursday that she would like to have a hearing as soon as Congress returns from its Easter recess to help border states whose pleas for federal assistance have so far gone unmet. "I don't think that we are getting everything we need," she said, adding that the hearing would provide a platform to discuss what is needed.

Granger said the border fence that was under construction in the Southwest was not helpful. "What we need is sensors, we need more equipment to see who's coming across the border," she said. "We need more roads so that border control can stop them. We need more commitment frankly. We need commitment to make sure that our borders are safe and they're not right now with what's going on in Mexico." (Fox News)

We don’t need a hearing. We don’t need a new road. We need to put bodies on the border with unambiguous ‘shoot to kill’ orders. At least one state governor took a baby step in that direction and another one is mulling it over:

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson is sending his state's National Guard troops to the border it shares with Mexico. "I believe we need a permanent presence," Richardson told Fox News on Thursday. "More border patrol, more National Guard at the border, the guard doing basically secondary work to the border patrol, mainly technical, because the border violence is now related to drugs, to cartels fighting each other, to violence affecting Americans like that one that was killed."

Gov. Jan Brewer told Fox News on Wednesday that after repeatedly calling on the federal government to send in 250 National Guard troops, she hasn't ruled out making the call herself. But Brewer stressed that Arizona cannot afford to sustain or maintain the additional National Guard presence. She said border security is a federal responsibility -- and she said the administration simply is not stepping up. (Fox News)

And what, if anything, is DHS Dipstick, Jihad Janet Napolitano, doing? She’s sharing the Elected Tormentors' ‘concerns’. She makes noises about teaming up with the relevant American officials - state local and tribal - plus our ‘Mexican law enforcement partners’. What, exactly, does that mean? It means she plans to screw around, making thoughtful noises, until the ‘deplorable’ situation resolves itself.

Do I have a better idea? You better believe it. We need to nuke that south of the border shit hole until it glows.

Parting shot: The latest insanity on this story is coming out of the Kremlin, uh, Red Shed. They want to open the floodgates, then roll out a red carpet for ‘Mexican refugees’. That’s just what America needs, another tidal wave of diseased, crime-spawning, chronically needy Sombrero Stompers.

I have a better idea. We need to round up all the border jumping scumbags, arm them with army surplus weaponry, and send them south to liberate their country from drug cartel scumbags. In the good old days of Imperialist America, we called this ‘spreading democracy’. I call it an idea whose time has come.

Noxious Nanny State Nuggets
Source: PIG News Wire [03/26/10]

Some Are More Equal Than Others
Conventional wisdom opines that the Elected Tormentors who imposed Messiah Barry’s DeathCare on us, carved out an exemption for themselves. Why? Because they know it’s the death of America’s heretofore excellent healthcare system.

Are there exemptions in DeathCare? Yes, but it’s not as clear-cut as you think and that fun fact has some Demoncrat congressional staffers fuming. Their panties are in a painful wad, because many of them are on the losing end of this exercise in ‘some are more equal than others’.

Select congressional leadership staffers -- some of whom wrote the health insurance act -- are not governed by new rules governing millions of Americans and the rest of their colleagues on how they buy insurance -- and the special exemption has the Hill hopping mad.

Come 2014, all 100 U.S. senators, all 435 representatives in the House and every one of their personal aides will have to go to the newly formed state exchanges for health insurance -- just like everyone else in the country who isn't covered by their employer.

But select congressional leadership staffers -- some of whom wrote the health insurance act -- won't. And neither will White House staffers and Cabinet members -- nor the president himself. They will be allowed to keep their current plans, which are offered to all other federal employees.

And now many congressional aides who like their current health insurance policies and will be forced to switch are asking: Why? They want to know: If an exchange is good enough for them, why isn't it good enough for the people who wrote the plan? Why isn't it good enough for the president and his Cabinet?

Mass e-mails have been circulating among congressional aides on both sides of the aisle as they voice their objections to what they are calling a double standard in the health care law President Obama signed on Tuesday.

"If it's such a good bill, why did the people who wrote the bill exempt themselves from it?" asked a Republican aide who requested anonymity. "With this administration it's always, 'Do as I say, not as I do,' just like paying your taxes!"

"If we're forced on the exchange, then everyone should be," a Democratic staffer said.

"If this health care bill is so great, then why are Obama's staff exempt?" a GOP aide scoffed. "If we have to give up our health care, then so should every federal employee."

Members of Congress and their staffers currently select their health insurance plan from the pool of health care policy options that are available to all federal employees. But under the new law, unlike other federal employees, they will be required to purchase their insurance from the state-run exchanges when that part of the law goes into effect in 2014.

But the provision appears to exclude leadership and committee staff, giving the appearance that those who wrote the bill wrote themselves out of this requirement. The White House is also exempt from moving from the current federal employee plan to state-run exchanges, although the White House said Wednesday that Obama will participate in the exchanges if he is still president in 2014. (Fox News)

How bad is Barry’s DeathCare? It’s so bad that the congressional staffers who wrote it want no part of it. Neither, it appears, do the Red Shed minions who can smell the fetid stench of this stinker from their offices in the West Wing.

I’d like to tell you that this crap shocks me, but I can’t. It’s another prime example of how much contempt the assholes on Capitol Hill have for We the People.

Barry Steps in It
Before the ink was dry on the DeathCare dagger that he plunged into liberty’s heart, Messiah Barry was already flapping his gums about a great victory ‘for the children’. Full of himself, and ‘it’, he bragged - repeatedly - that, thanks to him, all tykes were immediately freed from the tyranny of insurance companies which deny them coverage due to pre-existing conditions. It’s a winning sound bite, but there’s one, pesky problem with it. That’s not what the bill he rammed through, unread, says.

Administration officials are now scrambling to fix a gap in highly touted benefits for children.

Obama made better coverage for children a centerpiece of his health care remake, but it turns out the letter of the law provided a less-than-complete guarantee that kids with health problems would not be shut out of coverage.

Under the new law, insurance companies still would be able to refuse new coverage to children because of a pre-existing medical problem, said Karen Lightfoot, spokeswoman for the House Energy and Commerce Committee, one of the main congressional panels that wrote the bill Obama signed into law Tuesday. However, if a child is accepted for coverage, or is already covered, the insurer cannot exclude payment for treating a particular illness, as sometimes happens now. For example, if a child has asthma, the insurance company cannot write a policy that excludes that condition from coverage. The new safeguard will be in place later this year.

Full protection for children would not come until 2014, said Kate Cyrul, a spokeswoman for the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee, another panel that authored the legislation. That's the same year when insurance companies could no longer deny coverage to any person on account of health problems. (Fox News)

Barry, dude, this wound is self-inflicted. This is what happens, when you start talking out of your ass about a 2,000, plus, page bill that nobody has read. Tell Rahmbo to stop lurking in the congressional shower room, then spend quality time READING THIS STINKER.

Knee-Jerk Korrectness In J.O.E.
Source: Daily Mail [03/18/10]

If you think the ubiquitous Miranda warning, and all the baggage which comes with it, is as bad as policework hampering red tape gets, you’re delusional. Why? Because, once again, J.O.E.’s justice-system Korrectniks have boldly gone where they don’t belong.

In Kent, the police brass, and assorted other retards, pooped out a 62-page ‘how to’ 'Faith and Culture Resource' handbook. It’s alleged purpose is to promote ‘clear communications’, Korrectly. Is it as asinine as it sounds? You better believe it, god save the queen, Sparky.

* When questioning any individual citizen, officers can’t ask for their ‘Christian name’ and ‘surname’. Why? It might offend non Cross cultists. Instead, officers must promote their clear communications by asking for a ‘personal name’ and ‘family name’. There’s nothing confusing about that clear as mud bull crap.

* To protect hypersensitive women, and their deranged male cohorts, officers can’t use phrases like ‘my dear’, or ‘love’ when addressing these delicate flowers of femininity.

* Such utterly human gestures as handshakes, and/or putting an arm around a victim or grieving family member to comfort them, are now vilified as ‘unprofessional’.

* Officers are admonished to avoid terms like ‘afternoon’ and ‘evening’ since it’s somehow confusing for asshats who bitterly cling to their non-Brit culture.

* ‘Mixed-race’ might give someone a boo-boo - probably the police brass who perpetrated this steaming load - so officers must us less threatening terminology like ‘mixed-parentage’ or ‘mixed cultural heritage’.

* When talking to someone from Asia or Africa, officers are warned not to refer to the continent as a whole. Instead, they must refer to the individual’s specific country. Why? I haven’t got a clue and neither, I suspect, do the Korrectniks.

If you think this Korrectnik insanity is confined to the Kent Police Federation, you’re in for a thrill.

Last year officers in Warwickshire were told not to say 'Evenin' all' - a phrase made famous by classic police drama Dixon of Dock Green - because times of day could meant different things to various cultures.

Scotland Yard recently instructed officers not to use the phrase 'gang rape', because the term was considered too emotive. Instead they were told to refer to the crime as 'multi-perpetrator rapes'.

A Freedom of Information request to police forces and fire services has also revealed that a number of organisations, including Essex Police and Northern Ireland Fire and Rescue Service, instruct staff to avoid the words 'child, youth or youngster'.

Addressing someone as a 'girl' or a 'boy' could have 'connotations of inexperience, impetuosity and unreliability, or even dishonesty', according to official guidance.

The same guide also warns against the phrases 'manning the phones', 'layman's terms' and 'the tax man', for 'making women invisible'. (Daily Mail)

How, exactly, do Brit cops even get out of their assigned police station, when they’re entombed like a mummy in all this Korrectnik red tape? It’s Enquiring minds time, again, in the PIGdom.

Hugo Kicks It Up A Notch
Source: Reuters [03/13/10]

Eager to muzzle his critics, Hugo ‘Skipper’ Chavez has shut down radio stations and boob tube outlets. He is perpetrating this state-sanctioned thuggery to coerce all information source in his outpost of tyranny into Hugo-venerating compliance. Despite his successes, his efforts to snuff out free speech is still a work in progress.

This week, Hugo is painting a STFU bull’s-eye on a cyberspace speedbump, Noticierodigital, which is - GASP - saying things that Hugo doesn’t want anyone to hear.

"The Internet cannot be something open where anything is said and done. Every country has to apply its own rules and norms," Chavez said. He cited German Chancellor Angel Merkel as having expressed a similar sentiment recently.

Chavez is angry with Venezuelan political opinion and gossip website Noticierodigital, which he said had falsely written that Diosdado Cabello, a senior minister and close aide, had been assassinated. The president said the story remained on the site for two days.

"We have to act. We are going to ask the attorney general for help, because this is a crime. I have information that this page periodically publishes stories calling for a coup d'etat. That cannot be permitted." (Reuters)

Isn’t it, uh, interesting, how puny Marxist minds - Hugo and Barry - think alike, when it comes to that bane of a tyrant’s existence, free speech? Isn’t it interesting how both want to limit what’s said on radio, television, newspapers and, TA DA, the Internet. Brothers in Marxist tyranny? You better believe it, liberty-venerating Sparky.

Elected Tormentor Adventures
Source: PIG News Wire [03/12/10]

Korrecting "Oh Canada" - UPDATE
If you scroll down, you’ll see last week’s story about Canada’s reigning conservative government’s knee-jerk foray into Korrectness. Eager to shoot themselves in the foot, by making the Canadian national anthem ‘gender neutral’, they paused at the brink, to ask for feedback from rank and file Canadians.

It didn’t take long for Canadians to give the Nanny State nitwits a piece of their mind:

Don't mess with a century-old tradition even if it is sexist, Canadians told the Conservative government this week, forcing Ottawa to scrap plans to make the country's national anthem gender-neutral.

The government tucked the idea into a major policy speech on Tuesday and by Friday the public outcry was so strong Prime Minister Stephen Harper backtracked. "We offered to hear from Canadians on this issue and they have already spoken loud and clear," said Dimitri Soudas, Harper's spokesman. "They overwhelmingly do not want to open the issue. The government will not proceed any further to change our national anthem."

For nearly 100 years, the anthem has included the line, "True patriot love in all thy sons' command."

Harper wanted to start a public discussion on whether to change the wording in a way that would not exclude the nation's daughters. He took the initiative on the advice of a female senator, according to National Post columnist Don Martin. (Reuters)

Rational adults in Canada? It’s ‘go figure’ time in the top secret PIG Bunker.

Tennessee Taxes Complimentary Breakfasts
Tennessee’s Tax Nazis are poised to goose-step over those complimentary breakfasts offered by many of the state’s hotels. Why? Because then can. Besides, imposing a new tax is always easier than doing something rational like CUTTING SPENDING.

The state wants to tax the lodging businesses for the food they offer as part of free breakfasts that are included in their room rate.

The budget-strapped state hopes to get an estimated $10 million for its coffers from the sweet rolls, coffee and such that hotel patrons enjoy at no charge from the Smoky Mountains to Graceland.

The proposal is pending in committees in the General Assembly. The tax would be the prevailing sales tax rate in the county involved - up to 9 3/4 percent. (AP)

Is there anything lower, more loathsome, or more deserving of being forcibly evicted from the human gene pool, than a tax and squander piece of Elected Tormentor crap? I seriously doubt it. I’m on the same page as my lovely bride, on this one: Just shoot the bastards.

Slaughtering The Will of the People
The Congressional Clown Posse’s Marxist Demoncrats are poised to eviscerate the consent of the governed, with a tyrannical turd named ‘the Slaughter Rule’.

Neal Boortz served up these fetid facts about the impending death of our liberty:

House Rules Chairwoman Louise Slaughter is prepping to help usher the healthcare overhaul through the House and potentially avoid a direct vote on the Senate overhaul bill, the chairwoman said Tuesday.

Slaughter is weighing preparing a rule that would consider the Senate bill passed once the House approves a corrections bill that would make changes to the Senate version.

Got that? Needless to say, if Republicans had tried something like that for, say, Social Security reform, the Democrats would have had cats. Now that would have been something to watch.

Passing a bill without voting on it? What’s next? Will Messiah Barry simply issue decrees, without ‘bothering’ Congress? Wow! This takes DEMONCRAT MARXIST tyranny off the scale. Hell, even Hugo ‘Skipper’ Chavez has his Legicrat toadies rubber stamp his dictatorial whims.

Korrecting "Oh Canada"
Source: Reuters [03/04/10]

With nothing better to do, Canada’s Elected Tormentors are taking a musical time out from the nation’s most pressing problems, issues, and/or challenges. Fiddling? They’re doing that, too, but this time out the shiny object which is distracting them, is the Canadian national anthem.

Someone - I’m guessing a womyn’s studies wench, or some terminally ‘whipped’ metrosexual alleged male - has their knickers in a knot over one verse of the song. Why? It’s not ‘inclusive’ enough.

When Canadian poet Robert Stanley Weir wrote the anthem’s lyrics, in 1908, the verse in question read: "True patriot love thou dost in us command." No harm, no foul? Agreed, but in 1914, some sexist tool changed the verse to read: "True patriot love in all thy sons' command." No harm, no foul? It is to a rational adult, a designation which excludes Canada’s Conservative government.

‘...Ottawa now wants to start a public discussion on whether Canada should adopt a gender-neutral version of the song. As part of a policy speech unveiled on Wednesday, the minority Conservative government said it would ask Parliament to look at the original lyrics to the anthem...’

‘...Industry Minister Tony Clement said the government had not taken any firm decisions yet. "I think the appropriate way to deal with this is through some sort of process where we have historical research and learned discussion," he told reporters...’ (Reuters)

Ironically, the opposition, Liberal, party isn’t in a lather over the song. They see this foolishness for what it is, a pathetic bit of political pandering to Canada’s chad-punching womyn. In other words, this ‘gender neutral’ circle of hell is wholly owned by the Conservative government.

Brit Parking Nazis Are All Wet
Source: Daily Express [03/03/10]

From our ‘adding insult to injury’ news desk, I bring you this dose of jaw-dropping insanity.

The scene of this Parking Nazi adventure is a flood-prone part of York (J.O.E.), near the riverbank of the River Ouse. The critical elements are a river which overflowed its banks, some parked cars which got trapped in the flood, and a goose-stepping Parking Nazi. If you see where this one is headed, don’t spoil it for the merely mortal.

[T]hree cars were parked close to the notorious flood-prone riverbank in York city centre when torrential rain caused the River Ouse to overflow. Dirty water seeping through doors and windows ruined the interiors of the cars which were unreachable and in danger of being washed away.

But first thing on Monday, once the floodwater had subsided, an eagle-eyed parking inspector wasted no time in issuing tickets because the vehicles had been left on double yellow lines. (Daily Express)

When the press-fed blowback reached critical mass, the local council's spokeswench deployed an asinine ‘nothing to see here’ ploy, by claiming that the Parking Nazis were ‘unaware’ that some cars had been flooded. Owners of the ticketed cars must prove their cars were drenched by the flood waters, then hope that someone with functional synapses administers their appeal.

Brit Fat Nazis Strike Again
Source: Daily Mail [03/03/10]

Boldly going where nobody wants them to go, the Brit Food Standards Agency is painting a Fat Nazi bull’s-eye on an iconic Brit nosh. Poisoned by the rancid fumes they’re breathing, these heads up the butt asshats are determined to tinker with perfection. How? You’re going to be thrilled.

In 80, randomly selected, fish and chips shops around J.O.E., the FSA goose-steppers have decreed that the shops make the size of their chips (french fries, more or less) bigger. Why? The FSA thinks thicker chips will absorb less fat. If their scheme works in these 80 shops, it will be imposed on every fish and chips wrangler in J.O.E.

As expected fish and chips wrangler capitalists aren’t thrilled spitless:

Douglas Roxburgh, president of the National Federation of Fish Fryers, said the move was 'ill thought out'.

He said: 'They should be concentrating on fast food outlets who make the thin French fries, not the traditional independent chip shop.

We will be opposing this as much as we can until they make it a level playing field and start asking McDonalds, KFC and Burger King to change their chip sizes too. At the moment it seems like a case of picking on the little guys because they can't touch the big guys - which is totally unfair.'

Mr Roxburgh also warned a ban on fries could lead to financial problems for many small businesses. He added: 'We cut our chips with chipper blades, which are set in certain sized blocks. Why should small chip shops have to splash out on buying blocks with different measurements just because the councils say they have to? If the shops do pay out for new blocks their businesses may suffer if customers do not like the fatter chips anyway.' (Daily Mail)

Unfazed by the concerns of these fish and chips wrangling capitalists, the FSA storm troopers are already scheming to enlarge this fish and chips shop bull’s-eye. How? They’re poised to alter the temperature of the cooking oil and shrink the portion sizes. If that doesn’t drive a stake through the heart of the fish and chips business, nothing will.

Amazing, Amusing, & Annoying Nanny State Adventures
Source: PIG News Wire [20/26/10]

Arizona Legicrat fires a states’ right warning shot over Uncle Sam’s head.
Frank Antenori is an Elephant Clan member of Arizona’s House of Representatives. He’s also a man with a plan to put states’ rights on the front burner, in Arizona, and in Washington D. C.

In proposing that Arizona become the national epicenter of incandescent-lightbulb manufacturing, the Tucson Republican hopes to provoke a fight with Washington, D.C., over states' rights and interstate trade.

He's picked what he believes is an inoffensive field of battle: A glass bulb with a tungsten filament.

It's a new twist on a national trend that involves a Montana gun law that 23 other states, including Arizona, are mimicking this year, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. The premise is that by providing that guns manufactured in a given state are not sent over state boundaries, the federal government has no right to impose regulations, such as gun registration.

Knowing the firestorm that gun regulation can inspire, the freshman lawmaker decided to dial down the emotion and use lightbulbs as his weapon of choice in a states'-rights push.

"It's kind of like the Montana gun bill, but not as angry," Antenori said of House Bill 2337. "You can't get too (angry) with lightbulbs. You don't shoot people with lightbulbs."

But he hopes perhaps you can sue if the federal government insists that a phase-out of incandescent-bulb sales applies to Arizona. (Fox Nation)

Give ‘em hell, Frank. The Free State of PIG has your back.

Something Fishy In Gore’s Backyard
In bygone years, Volunteer State Legicrats imposed an asinine edict, which bans barbershops from having fish tanks containing REAL fish. If they want that kind of decor, hair wranglers must put FAKE fish in them. As asinine as that sounds, it gets worse.

Now, with the economy humming, and all their issues ‘resolved’, state Legicrats found this fish ban lurking at the bottom of the legislative issues barrel. Spearheaded by Demoncrat state Rep. Ty Cobb, a bill revoking the fish ban is making its way through the state legislature, but there are, here and there, some dissenting voices:

Under current law, “no animals, birds or fish” are permitted in barbershops, except in the case of animals to help people with disabilities.

Christopher Garrett, spokesman for the Tennessee Department of Commerce and Insurance, said the department reminded legislators that an amendment that broadly allowed fish might inadvertently reverse a separate ban on fish pedicures — the practice where small fish nibble off dead skin — which has been outlawed by a number of states.

Cobb’s bill specifies that fish would be allowed in barbershops only for “decorative purposes.” Garrett said his department will enforce whatever legislation becomes law. (The Tennessean)

This fishy fiasco is all the proof you need, that, unless they are closely supervised, by one or more rational adults, Elected Tormentors are an on-going threat to our life, liberty, pursuit of happiness and our sanity.

Local Council Circle Jerk
Taking Elected Tormentor insanity to dizzying heights, Brit local councils, are perpetrating a Parking Ticket Nazi circle jerk. It starts, when a local council issues tickets against their own vehicles. The fun continues, when the local council refuses to pay the tickets. Eventually, after going through up to 14 stages of bureaucratic bull crap, a local council will take itself to a Parking Appeals tribunal:

One farce saw Islington Council in North London issue a ticket, then take itself to an appeal hearing - where it asked for costs against itself. The costs process involves another four steps.

Stunned adjudicator Gerald Styles said he could not make an order for costs because the council could not "act wholly unreasonably or vexatiously against itself".

Parking law expert Barrie Segal, who unearthed the crazy cases, said: "This is a complete waste of taxpayers' money and illustrates everything that is wrong with unaccountable parking enforcement in the UK. If they ever make a sequel to the film Dumb and Dumber, I'd suggest the producers look no further than Islington Parking Department for the starring roles. Councils are so blinkered in their efforts to raise revenue from parking fines they even chase themselves for the money. The whole thing is ludicrous." (The Sun)

Only the Nanny State would piss away thousands of taxpayer-funded man-hours and thousands of pounds with this asinine circle jerk. Hell, even a mutt gets tired of chasing its own tail, eventually.

Elected Tormentor News Nuggets
Source: PIG News Wire [02/19/10]

New Braunfels Say’s Three’s Enough
In one Mexas town, three is enough and four is one too many. If you’re thinking brewskies, get over it. This limit applies to the maximum number of people, who aren’t related by blood, that are allowed to live in a given, single-family, home.

I know what you’re thinking and I, too, pinned a ‘colonista’ label on this one. That might still be the case, but the article in the Herald-Zeitung specifically cites the noise generated by cohabiting, college age, party animals.

The New Braunfels Planning Commission will hold a workshop Tuesday to discuss placing further restrictions on the number of people not related by blood who are allowed to live in single-family homes.

What has been referred to in other cities as a “living in sin” law stems from complaints from residents that their unruly, generally college-age neighbors are causing a public nuisance in local neighborhoods.

To address those concerns, the commission has considered only allowing three unrelated people to live in a single-family home. “As an individual, you have certain private property rights, and one of those is the right to the quiet enjoyment of your home,” said City Manager Mike Morrison.

The current cap on unrelated roommates in New Braunfels is five people.

Residents have asked the planning commission to lower that threshold because of noise, but more because of the increased parking and street traffic caused by unrelated roommates compared to an individual family. (Herald-Zeitung)

If you expect me to invoke a property-owner’s inherent rights, give yourself a cookie. Bad neighbors are a pain that we’ve all endured, at one time or another. It’s a real pisser, but I still insist that it’s none of the Nanny State’s business, unless someone crosses the line into ‘disorderly conduct’. That makes it a standard issue matter for the local police, not planning commission cretins.

Deflating Hot Air Buffoonery
Bolstered by the climate alarmists headlong retreat from their most egregiously exaggerated predictions, some Utah Legicrats are giving Global Warming hot air a vote of no confidence. The resolution isn’t binding. It is, however, a useful signpost on the road which leads, hopefully, to a climate science which adheres to sound scientific principles and is firmly rooted in that pernicious, politically inexpedient, pestilence, objective reality.

A J.O.E. fishwrap, the Guardian, files these snarky snippets about the non-binding resolution:

The measure, which passed by 56-17, has no legal force, though it was predictably claimed by climate change sceptics as a great victory in the wake of the controversy caused by a mistake over Himalayan glaciers in the UN's landmark report on global warming.

But it does offer a view of state politicians' concerns in Utah which is a major oil and coal producing state.

The original version of the bill dismissed climate science as a "well organised and ongoing effort to manipulate and incorporate "tricks" related to global temperature data in order to produce a global warming outcome". It accused those seeking action on climate change of riding a "gravy train" and their efforts would "ultimately lock billions of human beings into long-term poverty".

In the heat of the debate, the representative Mike Noel said environmentalists were part of a vast conspiracy to destroy the American way of life and control world population through forced sterilisation and abortion. By the time the final version of the bill came to a vote, cooler heats apparently prevailed. The bill dropped the word "conspiracy", and described climate science as "questionable" rather than "flawed". (Guardian)

In addition to its ‘liar, liar, pants on fire’ prose, the Utah House of Representatives, asks the EPA to get the FACTS about Global Warming/Climate Change, before Uncle Sam drives a stake through the still beating heart of the American economy. In other words, Utah’s Elephant Clan dominated House is saying: "The science is fatally flawed, so, before you impose Draconian regulations to control greenhouse gases, spend some quality time in objective reality, learning the truth, they whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

It Seemed Like A Good Idea
Source: BBC [02/10/10]

The law of unintended consequences is electrifying unwary individuals Down Under, thanks to Kevin Rudd - Australia’s lefty Prime Minister. Eager to earn his Greeniac merit badge, Kevin jolted Aussies by promoting a new national energy-saving plan which features - TA DA - highly conductive foil insulation. If you see where we’re headed, don’t spoil it for the merely mortal, unintended consequences Sparky:

Improperly installed foil insulation can conduct electricity from mains cables, effectively making the entire roof cavity live.

The national insulation programme was a key plank of the Rudd government's environmental strategy, and offered rebates to householders who wanted to conserve energy. But the metallic foil used in older houses has already killed four electricians who were installing it, the most recent incident coming last week when a 25-year-old contractor was electrocuted in the roof of a home in far north Queensland. It is believed the metallic foil came into contact with electricity cables, thus making the roof cavity live.

The environment minister Peter Garrett has suspended the programme and called for a safety inspection of tens of thousands of homes. The government has also conducted an interim audit on 400 homes and found that up to a dozen may be dangerous. (BBC)

The good news is that your new insulation will save your money. The bad news is that, your new, government approved insulation makes your house as dangerous as Florid-DUH’s wonky electric chair, Old Sparky.

Black Helicopter Club’s Globally Warmed Alarmism
Source: Fox [02/08/10]

Global Warming alarmism is alive, well, and SOP in the United Nations’ Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). Eager to terrify rational adults into compliance, they steal a page from the Hot Air Buffoon’s playbook and pull heart stopping statistics out of their butts. For example, assorted IPCC asshats and publications - AR4, "Climate Change 2007: Synthesis Report" - thunder that "global warming could quickly cut rain-fed north African crop production by up to 50%".

It’s scary stuff, if they can prove it, but, according to one of the IPCC’s key players, they haven’t got a shred of proof to support this claim.

The statement in question comes not only from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) report on climate change impacts -- called Assessment Report 4, or AR4 -- and is also repeated in its "Synthesis Report."

This report is the IPCC's most politically sensitive publication, distilling its most important science into a form accessible to politicians and policy makers. Its lead authors include IPCC chairman Rajendra Pachauri himself, who has quoted it in speeches as has U.N. secretary-general Ban Ki-moon.

This weekend Professor Chris Field, the new lead author of the IPCC's climate impacts team, told The Sunday Times that he could find nothing in the report to support the claim. The revelation follows the IPCC's retraction of a claim that the Himalayan glaciers might all melt by 2035, dubbed 'Glaciergate' by commentators.

Speaking at the 2008 global climate talks in Poznan, Poland, Pachauri said: "In some countries of Africa, yields from rain-fed agriculture could be reduced by 50% by 2020." In a speech last July, Ban said: "Yields from rain-fed agriculture could fall by half in some African countries over the next 10 years."

Speaking this weekend, Field said: "I was not an author on the 'Synthesis Report,' but on reading it I cannot find support for the statement about African crop yield declines."

This sort of claim should be based on hard evidence, said Robert Watson, chief scientist at Defra, the U.K.'s department for environment food and rural affairs, who chaired the IPCC from 1997 to 2002.

"Any such projection should be based on peer-reviewed literature from computer modelling of how agricultural yields would respond to climate change. I can see no such data supporting the IPCC report," he said.

Can Professor Chris Field lead the IPCC out of Al Gore’s Zip Code of the Twilight Zone and into the unflinching ‘prove it’ realm called objective reality? I have my doubts, but it should be highly entertaining watching Professor Field give it the old college try.

Lies, Damn Lies, & Statistics
Source: Hot Air [02/08/10]

Full of himself, and IT, The One’s favorite prompter-puked whopper is that noxious canard that his two-fisted Porkulus Bill squandering of OUR money created or saved 2,000,000 jobs. When you parse his prose and read the fine print, you learn that most of these jobs were created and/or saved through block grants to states that were already drowning in red, budgetary ink.

The infusion of federal fund$ allowed spendthrift states to avoid - delay is more accurate - making those hard, something has to give, choices that involve long overdue cut backs in programs and/or people on the payroll. Since Porkulus is/was a one-time cash infusion, it only delayed the inevitable, as explained by this Hot Air posting by Ed Morrissey:

States declared that they saved positions in law enforcement and education with their Porkulus money that were never at risk in the first place rather than the untouched bureaucracies that should have first come under the knife.

In 2010, those supposedly “saved” jobs are back in trouble again, just as I predicted:

Federal stimulus money has helped avoid drastic cuts at public schools in most parts of the nation, at least so far. But with the federal money running out, many of the nation’s schools are approaching what officials are calling a “funding cliff.”

Congress included about $100 billion for education in the stimulus law last year to cushion the recession’s impact on schools and to help fuel an economic recovery. New studies show that many states will spend all or nearly all that is left between now and the end of this school term.

With state and local tax revenues still in decline, the end of the federal money will leave big holes in education budgets from Massachusetts and Florida to California and Washington, experts said.

“States are going to face a huge problem because they’ll have to find some way to replace these billions, either with cuts to their K-12 systems or by finding alternative revenues,” said Bruce Baker, an education professor at Rutgers University.

The Porkulus money was directed at education systems, but all that did was allow states to allocate their own resources to other entities. If the states want to save education jobs in the absence of another federal windfall, they will need to look at other programs to reduce or eliminate altogether. American families have had to tighten their belts in a similar manner, but states mainly avoided it in 2009.

In this case, the states got warned up front not to spend all of their money in the current fiscal year. Some states held a significant amount in reserve, but some did not, especially the states noted above. They blew it all in one year as a way to avoid the politically dangerous decisions to cut services in other areas, and now face the same level of funding crisis that they did last year.

The One sent this titanic Porkulus Bill turd rolling down the hill, then moved on to other, America-destroying, business. Now, that rancid butt bullet is destined to land in our laps, unless We The People rise up and kick the assholes out of Washington, and every Elected Tormentor infestation, from sea to shining sea.

Nanny State Nitwitdom
Source: PIG News Wire [02/05/10]

Pennsylvania Witch’s Brew of Adult Beverage Laws
If you live in the Keystone State, getting your regular brewskie infusion isn’t as easy, or straightforward, as it should be. Why? Because where you buy your ‘take it home to drink it’ brewskie depends upon how much of it your want to purchase.

For years, many consumers have complained about Pennsylvania's laws governing beer sales. Now the battle over where consumers can buy their beer is heating up.

In Pennsylvania, beer distributors can sell cases of beer but not six-packs. Restaurants -- in grocery stores or in bars -- that have state licenses can sell a customer a six-pack or two but not a case.

Wegmans, Weis Markets and a few other grocery stores at select locations sell beer. But state liquor regulations allow grocery stores to sell beer only if they have dining areas and separate entrances and cash registers.

Beer sales are soaring at the Wegmans store in Silver Spring Twp. -- the only midstate grocery store to sell beer. The store is doubling the space allotted for beer and is expanding its offerings from 400 to 600 brands. "We still have customers asking us for more, so we are satisfying their needs," said manager Bob Finn. (Patriot-News)

What, if anything, is being done to fix this Nanny State perpetrated mess? No enough. One grocery store chain, Sheetz, is trying to pressure the Nanny State into pulling its head out of its ass via an online petition. Elsewhere, a state Legicrat from the Lehigh Valley has served up Legicrap which would allow beer distributors to sell six-packs. So far nobody, in the state which includes Independence Hall, has come out for that American anachronism, marketplace based LIBERTY from oppressive Nanny State interference.

Is Barry Really BCS Bonkers?
With Jihadikaze terrorism - uh, man-caused disasters - expunged from planet Earth, a booming economy ‘stimulated’ into overdrive, and our vastly diminished government posting a healthy surplus, Messiah Barry is looking for new mountains to climb...new worlds to conquer.

After searching low, lower, and lowest, he found what he needed to revive his sagging approval ratings: the Bowl Championship Series that gives Elected Tormentors like Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) a rash.

Hatch wrote a letter to President Barack Obama back in October, asking the Department of Justice to look into the BCS, as he believed a case can be made that it is in violation of antitrust laws.

On Friday, the Justice Department sent a four-page letter to Hatch, saying it is reviewing the senator's letter and other materials to determine whether it will open an investigation.

The letter also said the Obama administration is looking into other options "that might be available to address concerns with the college football post- season."

One of those options is that the administration ask the Federal Trade Commission to "examine the legality of the current system under consumer protection laws." Other options include encouraging the NCAA to take control of the football postseason, asking for a study on the feasibility of the playoff system, legislation and looking into whether other agencies could play a role in reform. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

The BCS is a steaming load of unrelenting suckage, and that’s a no-shit fact. On the other hand, the BCS is something much more important: none of the Nanny State’s damn business.

Fiddling while America burns? You better believe it, what happened to my limited government Sparky.

Fiddling In Pennsylvania
Source: Patriot-News [01/27/10]

Shrugging off such unimportant issues as a $450,000,000 budget deficit and an ‘official’ unemployment rate of 8.9%, Pennsylvania State Senator Pat Browne is focused like a laser beam on a much more pressing issue:

Sen. Pat Browne, R-Lehigh County, is sponsoring a bill that would designate the Pennsylvania Long Rifle as the state’s official firearm. Pennsylvania would become the first state in the country to have a state gun, according to the National Rifle Association.

To Browne and his supporters, the measure is a celebration of history and a decidedly Pennsylvanian contribution toward America’s independence. However, opponents say the idea of designating a state firearm is unthinkable, especially since Pennsylvania cities are scarred by gun-related crimes.

On behalf of Old Betsy and Big Bang, I salute Senator Browne for blazing this politically incorrect, official state firearm, trail. It’s not the idea that gives me pause. It’s the timing. There’s plenty of time for this foolish fiddling, AFTER, Pennsylvania’s Elected Tormentors put their house in order.

Parting shot: For what is' worth, Senator Browne’s choice of firearms is a good one:

“If you have to have a state gun, I believe it’s the most logical choice,” said Randy Hackenburg of Boiling Springs, a retiree who served as firearms curator at the U.S. Army Military History Institute at Carlisle Barracks.

The Pennsylvania Rifle was developed by craftsmen in the mid-18th century. Using native iron and woods, the earliest versions could take upward of 200 hours to build. The long-barreled rifles developed in Pennsylvania were renowned for their leaps forward in accuracy and range, their durability, and — with their unique color combinations, carvings and engraved brasswork — they also have become appreciated as a prime example of early American art.

Jaw-Dropping Korrectness
Source: Daily Mail [01/27/10]

"Domestic cleaner required immediately for local hospital. A variety of different shifts available. Must be fluent in written and spoken English for Health & Safety reasons. Previous experience preferred. If you have a current CRS, it would be an advantage, but not necessary. Training will be provided. Must be reliable and hard working."

Painfully aware of the Korrectness which is suffocating liberty in J.O.E., Nicole Mamo, director of a Brit employment agency, Devonhood Recruitment, crafted the language of the advert you just read with the utmost care. She managed to elude the obvious pitfalls of discriminating against the chronically offending due to race, age, or sexual orientation. Home free? Not even close.

I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not THAT. By citing ‘Health & Safety’, her English proficiency prose passed muster, but it was touch and go, for a while. It was that other matter which left Nicole gobsmacked, when a job center in Thetford, Norfolk black flagged her advert as ‘discriminatory’.

Discriminatory? Why? You’re going to be thrilled:

When she ran the ad past a job centre, she was told she couldn't ask for 'reliable' and 'hard-working' applicants because it could be offensive to unreliable people. "In my 15 years in recruitment I haven't heard anything so ridiculous," Mrs Mamo said yesterday. "If the matter wasn't so serious I would be laughing out loud. Unfortunately it's extremely alarming. I need people who are hardworking and reliable - and I am pleased to discriminate in that way. If they're not then I really can't use them. The reputation of my business is on the line."

"Even the woman at the job centre agreed it was ridiculous but explained it was policy because they could get sued for being discriminatory against unreliable people. She told me they'd had lots of problems with people taking them to court for adverts stating something like ‘would suit school leaver’."

When ‘hard-working’ and ‘reliable’ are deemed discriminatory, the world has well, and truly, been buried beneath a mountain of politically correct bull crap.

Buffalo Buttheads
Source: Buffalo News [01/24/10]

As far as I’m concerned, a Buffalo (New York) homeowner, 63 year old Dennis Cherry is a hero who used his right to keep and bear arms to defend his home from a pair of home-invading desperados. Unhappily, the proper authorities have ‘you’re so busted’ issues with the way Dennis greeted Anibal R. Cordero, 24, and Jenna M. Zsebhazy, 18, who misinterpreted Dennis’ open garage door as an invitation to invade and steal.

Cordero and Zsebhazy were confronted by Cherry, 63, who was holding a rifle as they entered through an open garage door of the home, just south of Bulmore Road. Cherry detained Zsebhazy, while Cordero tried to flee in a vehicle, police said.

Cherry then fired about 15 rounds at the vehicle. There were no injuries, according to police. After then running from the scene on foot, Cordero was caught in a wooded area. (Buffalo News)

The good news is that Cordero and Zsebhazy were bagged, tagged, and dragged for second-degree attempted burglary, a Class D felony. The bad news is that Dennis was bagged, tagged, and dragged to graybar on a laundry list of bullshit charges: first-degree reckless endangerment and second-degree criminal mischief, both Class D felonies, and second-degree menacing, a Class A misdemeanor.

If there’s a Dennis Cherry defense fund, count me in. Free Dennis. Free Dennis. No justice, no peace.

Now That’s Funny
Source: News Herald [01/20/10]

A Panama City Beach (Flori-DUH) booty parlor owning capitalist, Allen Johnson, has been in a legal battle with the local Elected Tormentors, since 1999. The feud started when the Nanny State Nitwits painted a bull’s-eye on Johnson’s topless bar, Show N Tail, with an ordinance which banned adult bars along tourist corridors. Since his booty parlor was on such a corridor, Johnson responded with a lawsuit.

After a truce was declared in 1999, when the county agreed to let Johnson relocate to an industrial park, Johnson dropped his lawsuit, for all the good it did him. He was still dealing with Nanny State roadblocks, when his nudie bar burned down in 2006. Since then, Johnson has been trying to get the county commission to live up to its 1999 agreement.

Johnson wants to relocate his bootie parlor to an industrial park named Holly Circle, per that 1999 agreement, but the local hacks have unresolved ‘issues’ with that:

‘...Bay County Planning and Zoning Director Martin Jacobson rejected Johnson’s plan for a club on Holley Circle in November, but the county commission Tuesday unanimously approved Johnson’s request for an appeal. Attorney Harry Harper will plead Johnson’s case at the commission’s Feb. 16 meeting in the Bay County Government Center on 11th Street...’

‘...Commissioner Jerry Girvin and Mike Thomas said Tuesday that, given the nature of the 1999 agreement, Holley Circle might work. Commissioner George Gainer agreed, although he said he had a problem with the proximity to Pete Edwards Football Field and the nearby county skate park...’

Curiously, neither Planning and Zoning Killjoy Jacobson nor Commissioners Girvin and Thomas, mentioned an ironic - in this context - establishment named Hannah’s House, which is thisclose, to the proposed booty parlor location. Irony? You better believe it, Sparky. Locating a nudie bar in such close proximity to a - ta da - home for unwed mothers is the essence of irony.

Censorship Bonkers Down Under
Source: The Australian [01/16/10]

What do Mel Gibson’s "Mad Max", George Clooney’s "Three Kings", Brad Pitt’s "Fight Club", and Sasha Baron Cohen’s "Bruno" have in common? For starters, they’re all R- rated, but there is a much more meaningful link. All of them are subject to new restrictions imposed by South Australia, on the promotion and display of R-rated flicks.

The most obvious change is that all R-rated films must be packaged in such a way that only the film’s title is showing.

The rule will apply to titles for sale or rent unless those titles are quarantined from all other audiovisual materials, in an area signposted with a warning.

Under changes to the state's classification act, which came into effect on Sunday, businesses will face fines of up to $5000 for displaying a "poster, pamphlet or other printed material" for films classified R18+. The new law applies to general outlets containing films with classifications lower than R18+, and not adult-only premises.

Several distributors expressed surprise at the announcement of the law coming into effect, saying they had learned of it only yesterday. Potential Films managing director Mark Spratt, who has distributed numerous R-rated titles, including the contentious French drama Romance, said he was "gobsmacked".

"It's gone completely under the radar," Mr Spratt said.

Plain packaging would prevent consumers making informed decisions about these films, including critically acclaimed titles such as Taxi Driver and Apocalypse Now, he said. "It's certainly discouraging people to look for these films, discouraging shops from stocking them and (creates) an extra hassle for (distributors)," Mr Spratt said. It also had the potential to harm retailers in South Australia as consumers who wanted to buy the titles with their packaging intact would shop interstate or online.

The law was announced by the office of South Australian Attorney-General Michael Atkinson, whose conservative campaigning is well known to the film industry. (The Australian)

Censorship is alive and well in South Australia, but, fear not, Aussie PIGsters, they’re restricting your rights ‘for the children’.

Nanny State Nitwit Games
Source: PIG News Wire [01/15/10]

The Most Dangerous Dude In New Jersey?
If you want to send some TSA twerp into a mindless panic, simply shout out the name of the most dangerous - so sayeth the TSA - dude in New Jersey. His name is Michael W. Hicks, and he’s enshrined on the TSA’s "selectee" list. What’s that? As far as I can tell, it’s one step below the ‘no fly list’, but it’s very serious shit and prompts ‘a high level of screening’. ‘A high level of screening’ involves the infamous pat down plus some mindless grilling by the TSA Einsteins who flunked Fast Food Window 101 and landed at the bottom of the employment barrel.

What has Michael Hicks done to earn this level of TSA infamy? I don’t know, and neither does the 8 year old New Jersey Cub Scout who just happens to have the same name:

According to the powers that be, Michael W. Hicks has the face of evil. Or so you might think by the way he's questioned and patted-down before he boards an airliner. "I don't like getting touched in certain spots. They go like, (pat down on the side), and they do it on the sides and go like that way," Hicks said.

Hicks is an 8-year-old Cub Scout who may not look like a terrorist, but he gets the terrorist-screening treatment every time he flies with his parents -- because his name is apparently the same as someone else's on the list. "That's ridiculous. That's just insane. What are you talking about? Get my kid off the list," mother Najlah Feanny said. (CBS)

How long have these TSA asshats been terrorizing this 8 year old lad? Much too long, because they’ve been subjecting him to this mindless bullshit since he was a 2 year old rugrat. Patting down a 2 year old? WOW. That takes stupid right off the scale.

FDA Smoke Nazis Take One On The Chin
It’s called an electronic cigarette, and it’s a very clever gizmo that gives the user a nicotine rush, without generating any smoke - first, second, or third-hand. Instead of ‘fire’, it uses a heating element and a battery to ‘vaporize’ a liquid nicotine mixture, which the ‘smoker’ then inhales. No harm, no foul? Not according to the FDA, which tried to stop firms from shipping electronic cigarettes into the USA.

These heavy-handed FDA antics hit a speed bump, this week, when a federal judge banged his gavel down on them:

A federal judge said Thursday the Food and Drug Administration cannot stop shipments of electronic cigarettes into the United States. The preliminary ruling by U.S. District Judge Richard Leon came as California Attorney General Jerry Brown sought in a state court to halt one company's sale of electronic cigarettes. Brown says the e-cigarettes contain dangerous chemicals and are being marketed to children.

The FDA says electronic cigarettes are subject to regulation as drug-device combinations. "This case appears to be yet another example of FDA's aggressive efforts to regulate recreational tobacco products as drugs," Leon wrote. The judge said he found the regulatory agency's claim of jurisdiction "at first blush, to be unreasonable and unacceptable." A final ruling in the lawsuit will come later. (ABC News)

If, as Judge Leon indicated in his preliminary ruling, an electronic cigarette is - DUH - just like other cigarettes, it's a game changer. In a rational world, that means the same rules should apply to it. That, at least, is the way Ray Story, vice president of an electronic cigarette wrangling company targeted by Mexifornia’s Jerry Brown, Smoking Everywhere, Inc., sees it:

"Understand that this is a cigarette. We are acting as a cigarette company. We have all the applicable warnings on all our packaging that actually backs that up," Story said. He said his company did not represent the product as healthy or safe. (ABC)

When Old Ka-Boom finally cuts the crap and smites Washington D.C., he needs to do a proper job of it, which means taking out the whole alphabet soup of liberty-nuking Federal agencies.

Jaw-Dropping Red Shed Bullshit
After a year of relentless ‘Big Brother Barry is awesome’ happy talk from Messiah Barry and his minions, a faint glimmer of objective reality has penetrated into the higher levels of Prompter Punk’s administration. I don’t know how it happened, but the smart money says a free ranging rational adult walked past Barry’s Swiss Cheese class Red Shed security to spread the word. Spread what word? You’re going to be thrilled.

You already know it and so does every other rational American adult. On the other hand, Barry’s boys and girls were/are gobsmacked to learn that the government - even under Barry’s bumbling imitation of leadership - is - GASP, SHUDDER, CRINGE, PRIMAL SCREAM - inefficient and ineffective.

Fear not, PIGsters, Barry’s brainiacs have it all figured out. If you think that it’s due to ham-fisted interference by congenital morons in positions of authority, get over it. If you think that it’s due to a blatant power grab by petty, job for life tyrants who wouldn’t recognize objective reality if it fell on them, get over THAT, too. It’s nothing like that, according to an intellectual flat-lining fool named Peter Orzag:

A big reason why the government is inefficient and ineffective is because Washington has outdated technology, with federal workers having better computers at home than in the office. This startling admission came Thursday from Peter Orszag, who manages the federal bureaucracy for President Barack Obama. The public is getting a bad return on its tax dollars because government workers are operating with outdated technologies, Orszag said in a statement that kicked off a summit between Obama and dozens of corporate CEOs.

“Twenty years ago, people who came to work in the federal government had better technology at work than at home,” said Orszag, director of the Office of Management and Budget. “Now that’s no longer the case. The American people deserve better service from their government, and better return for their tax dollars.”

The White House release that included Orszag’s comments said one “specific source” of ineffective and inefficient government is the huge technology gap between the public and private sectors that results in billions of dollars in waste, slow and inadequate customer service and a lack of transparency about how dollars are spent.

The best way to deal with a lie of this magnitude is to drive an objective reality stake through its heart. When it comes to that, nobody does it better than Neal Boortz.

These people love government so much they can't even see the obvious failures we observe on a daily basis. Just one example: When you see ten people on a street work crew, and eight of them are standing around with their teeth in their mouths ...that is not because they don't have good computers. When you stand in a waiting line at a government office watching phones ring off the hook while unionized government workers file their nails and pick their noses ... it's not because of outdated technology. When government officials claim that 300 jobs were "created or saved" with the purchase of a lawn mower .. you can't blame computers.

Government is inherently inefficient. That's one of the reasons we need so much less of it.

I changed my mind, and decided to add my 2 cents worth, after all. Neal did his usual masterful job of cutting to the chase, but it’s not enough. I still need to pound the table about this crap.

This steaming pile of political crap, Orszag, is blaming the lack of transparency on out-dated computers? That’s world class bullshit, especially when it comes from THIS administration.

Silly me, I had the insane notion that the record shattering lack of transparency was due to secret meetings, wherein legislation thousands of pages long were cobbled together, in the dead of night, on a holiday weekend.

Silly me, I had the insane notion that the lack of transparency had everything to do with bills whose details are so closely guarded that the Elected Tormentors who vote on them aren’t even allowed to see them, before, during, or after, voting on them.

Silly me, I had the insane notion that this liberty-eviscerating lack of transparency was due to the fact that the Marxist rat bastards, who are running our once great nation into an early grave, don’t want We the People to know what they are doing to us.

Now that this fool Orszag has enlightened me, I see the error of my ways. All we need to do to restore Nanny State transparency is exchange the relevant pleasantries with a Dell salesdweeb. Yeah, right, dude, now tell me the one about the Tooth Fairy.

Nanny State Nitwitdom
Source: PIG News Wire [01/08/10]

Surrender Monkeys Mandate A Marital White Flag
In a highly publicized move, which elicited a tidal wave of richly-deserved derision, from the world’s rational adults, the Surrender Monkeys are thisclose to black flagging that icon of marital bliss, the expletive-intensive marital spat. Deeming such snarky, high volume, exchanges of views "psychological violence", the pussy-whipped French are painting a criminal bull’s-eye on any married individual who dares to go there.

The law would apply to cohabiting couples and to both men and women. It would cover men who shout at their wives and women who hurl abuse at their husbands - although it was not clear last night if nagging would be viewed as breaking the law. The law is expected to cover every kind of insult including repeated rude remarks about a partner's appearance, false allegations of infidelity and threats of physical violence. (Daily Mail)

Proving that there is still intelligent life in La Belle France, a French sociologist, Pierre Bonnet, asks the obvious, ‘slippery slope’ question: "What’s next?"

"The next step will be to make rudeness a criminal offence. The police and courts will be over-stretched trying to deal with numerous cases."

Outlaw rudeness? Do they plan on locking up the entire ‘damn those ugly Americans’ population? Enquiring minds want to know.

Prompter Punk Pisses Off The CIA
According to the London Daily Mail, some CIA officials aren’t thrilled spitless with the way that the Fraud From Abroad is talking out of both sides of his mouth about Uncle Sam’s legendary spy agency. I get that, but I wonder why it took them this long, to figure out that Messiah Barry is a congenital liar, who can’t be trusted as far as I can throw Jupiter?

Barack Obama was accused of double standards yesterday in his treatment of the CIA.

The President paid tribute to secret agents after seven of them were killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan. In a statement, he said the CIA had been ‘tested as never before’ and that agents had ‘served on the front lines in directly confronting the dangers of the 21st century’.

He lauded the victims as ‘part of a long line of patriots who have made great sacrifices for their fellow citizens and for our way of life’. Yet the previous day he had blasted ‘systemic failures’ in the CIA and other U.S. intelligence agencies for failing to prevent the Christmas Day syringe bomb attack.

‘One day the President is pointing the finger and blaming the intelligence services, saying there is a systemic failure,’ said one agency official. ‘Now we are heroes. The fact is that we are doing everything humanly possible to stay on top of the security situation. The deaths of our operatives shows just how involved we are on the ground.’

But CIA bosses claim they were unfairly blamed at a time the covert government agency has been stretched further than ever before in Afghanistan and Pakistan. They point to the murder of seven operatives at a remote mountain base in Afghanistan’s Khost Province as an example of how agents are putting their lives on the line at the vanguard of America’s far-flung wars. (Daily Mail)

Here at PIG News, we’re compelled to ask the hard questions: how much more room is there, under the Narcissist-In-Chief’s bus? It’s Enquiring minds time, again, in the PIGdom.

Panhandle Panhandlers
The Elected Tormentors running San Antonio (Mexas) have tried, and failed, repeatedly, to outlaw panhandling. Each time they ran a begger ban up the judicial flagpole, a black-robed hooligan shot it down as an unconstitutional ban on free speech. Are San Antonio officials ready to surrender? Nope.

At least one Elected Tormentor thinks they can get the job done. How? By attacking the panhandler problem from a new direction:

San Antonio City Councilman John Clamp has a new and intriguing idea. He tells 1200 WOAI's Bud Little he will propose making it a crime, with stiff fines, for people to give money to beggars on the public street. "They can still give money, just not on the public street," Clamp says.

Clamp says complaints about 'aggressive panhandling' is one of the biggest complaints he gets. "We have gotten lots of phone calls and concerns about seniors and other individuals being threatened and intimidated" by beggars, Clamp says.

Frequently, beggars take advantage of motorists stuck in busy intersections or in construction sites by walking into stopped traffic, even banging on the windows of stopped cars. Technically, it is illegal for panhandlers or solicitors of any sort to stand in the traveled portion of the roadway, but the law is seldom enforced. "Motorists would be prohibited from giving money to panhandlers," Clamp says. "The first citation would be a warning, the second would be a fine, and the third would be a very large fine," Clamp says. (WOAI)

This new approach to San Antonio’s panhandler problem puts a whole new spin on ‘just say no’, but will it work? When I know, you’ll know. Stay tuned, Lone Star State, Sparky.

D. C. Dipsticks Paint A Bull’s-Eye on AT&T Inc.
When it comes to thievery under the color of political authority, Washington D.C. is second to none. Ironically, this adventure in political punk plundering is taking place in City Hall, instead of Capitol Hill.

Inspired, no doubt, by the pillaging perpetrated by the 111th Congress, the District of Columbia’s attorney general is trying to coerce a leading outpost of American telecommunications capitalism into compliance. I know what you’re thinking but it’s not that. In this case, the pot of capitalist gold contains minutes, not money.

The attorney general for Washington D.C. has filed a lawsuit against an AT&T Inc (T.N) unit, seeking to recover consumers' unused balances on prepaid calling cards. The suit claims that AT&T should turn over unused balances on the calling cards of consumers whose last known address was in Washington, D.C. and have not used the calling card for three years.

"AT&T's prepaid calling cards must be treated as unclaimed property under district law," the attorney general's office said in a statement.

According to the attorney general's office, that sum, known in the industry as "breakage," represents some 5 to 20 percent of the total balances purchased by consumers who use the calling cards.

States and municipalities have often similarly used unclaimed property laws, known as escheat laws, to claim ownership of unused retail gift card balances. (Reuters)

Given my legendary cell phone hostility, I understand how D.C. officials plan to turn these unused minutes into dead presidents. I’m not sure that it matters, because this transaction between AT&T and its prepaid calling card customers is none of the Nanny State’s f-ing business.

Grinchy Word Games In J.O.E.
Source: Daily Mail [12/27/09]

Feeling the spirit of the season, the British Transport Police, devised a clever slogan to advise their customers that they would have extra manpower deployed during this festive time of year. Surrendering to a case of the cutes, their advertising agency deployed the phrase "Christmas presence", a pun based on a more familiar term "Christmas presents". No harm, no foul? It is, to a rational adult, but that excludes the Korrectnik cretins who infest J.O.E. in such large numbers.

[I]n a move branded ‘bonkers’ by Christian leaders, the police’s marketing department decided the word Christmas could anger non-believers or people from other faiths who disliked its Christian connotations.

Instead of scrapping the poster, however, the department merely swapped ‘Christmas’ for ‘Holiday’, so the slogan now reads ‘Holiday presence’.

I’m pleased to report that this asinine Korrectnik crap elicited a memorable dose of blowback from pissed off rational adults. Did this response make the perpetrators hang their heads in shame? Not a chance:

A Transport Police spokesman said the poster had the dual purpose of making people aware of the extra officers on duty and warning that anyone who assaulted transport staff would be treated severely.

The spokesman said that there was normally a rise in such assaults over the Christmas and New Year period. He added that the decision to remove the word ‘Christmas’ had been made by the Transport Police’s marketing manager, Alison Lock, who is based at its headquarters in Camden, North London. "It is just to make the message non-denominational so that it applies to everyone and so that people who don’t buy into Christmas don’t feel excluded," the spokesman said. "I can see there can be a debate around it but it is a matter of opinion and I’m not going to comment." (Daily Mail)

Holiday presence? That’s an asinine outburst of Grinchiness and you can quote me.

Sheriff Joe Update
Source: Washington Times [12/21/09]

On our last visit to Maricopa County (Arizona), Sheriff Joe Arpaio was terrorizing....uh, filling his graybar guests with the spirit of the season, by piping in a Christmas songs. Curiously, some of his graybar guests weren’t thrilled spitless by this 12 hours at a stretch assault on their sanity. In fact, several of those graybar guests took Sheriff Joe to court over this seasonal songfest:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio - the self-proclaimed "toughest sheriff" in America - likes Christmas music, especially "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and anything by Alvin and the Chipmunks, and apparently he thinks the 8,000 inmates inside his Phoenix jail should, too.

So it was with some glee that his Maricopa County office announced Thursday in a red-and-green press release that the "sixth and perhaps final lawsuit" brought by inmates to stop the sheriff from playing the holiday songs all day, every day, during the holidays had been dismissed in federal court.

"We keep winning these lawsuits. Inmates should stop acting like the Grinch who stole Christmas and give up wasting the court's time with such frivolous assertions," it read. "But chances are they'll keep suing and we'll keep winning."

The latest lawsuit was filed by inmate William Lamb, who said that being forced to listen to the Christmas songs 12 hours a day was a violation of his civil and religious rights. But U.S. District Judge Roz Silver disagreed, dismissing the case and denying Lamb's claim for $250,000 in damages. (Washington Times)

By and large, I tend to agree with the graybar guests, on this seasonal songfest. I can take Christmas carols in small, controlled quantities, but 12 hours at a stretch, day after day, would make me snap. Despite that, in this case, I, grudgingly, side with Sheriff Joe. Why? Because jail time is supposed to be a punishment and few things are more punishing, for me, than 12 straight hours of Christmas carols.

Nanny State Nitwit Antics
Source: PIG News Wire [12/18/09]

Ruskies Paint a Bull’s-Eye On Swearing
From our ‘they can dish it out, but can’t take it’ news desk, PIG News serves up the latest antic perpetrated by Ruskie strongman, Vladimir Putin. Tired of the profane slings and arrows dished up on a popular Ruskie blog, Putin, yanked the strings of his personal puppet, President DMitry Medvedev, and demanded that swearing in public be outlawed:

The law would be based on an existing scheme in the Russian region of Belgorod where police hand out on-the-spot fines for anyone overheard using foul language in public, reports the Daily Telegraph. The fines there range from 500 roubles (£10) to 1,500 roubles (£30). The heaviest fines go to people heard cursing in front of children.

Mikhail Nikolayev, deputy chairman of Russia's upper house of parliament, or Federation Council, is pushing the improbable scheme. "Swearing should cease to be part of our everyday life," he says, adding that the scheme in Belgorod, started in 2005, has produced encouraging results. A clutch of fellow senators is supporting Mr Nikolayev's plan.

The move comes as the Kremlin seeks to tackle rampant alcoholism, a culture of heavy smoking, and a steady stream of hardcore violence and erotica on TV and in adverts. (Ananova)

I know what you’re thinking, but they’ve already tried to make the blogger, a famous designer, stop serving up his "foul-mouthed tirades" against Putin and Medvedev. Unimpressed by threats from various Kremlin insiders, the blogger responded with a salty, non-negotiable, demand that they leave him alone. What is the Ruskie equivalent of "Bite Me"?

Hubbub In Houston
It’s touted as an election which "has changed the world" for GLAAD BAAGs. I seriously doubt THAT, but I do find it moderately newsworthy that a Y-Naut was elected mayor in a major Mexas city like Houston.

[Openly gay, City Controller Annise] Parker, 53, has never made a secret or an issue of her sexual orientation. But it became the focus of the race after anti-gay activists and conservative religious groups endorsed Locke and sent out mailers condemning Parker's "homosexual behavior." (Fox)

Her opponent, city attorney Gene Locke, tried to court the VRWC voters, without straying too close to the GLAAD BAAG phobia. His attempt was a good one, but, when the chads were counted, Annise had 53.6% of the votes cast.

Call me names if you must, but why should I care about Annise’s sexual orientation? It is, at most, a side issue, an irrelevant side issue. If I lived in Houston, I would be much more interested in Annise’s leadership skills, and her political agenda. Is she a big spender? Does she aid and abet border jumping scumbags? Is she qualified for the job? Did she run as a GLAAD BAAG, or, did she run as an experienced Elected Tormentor with proven executive level abilities?

A GLAAD BAAG mayor? Tell somebody who cares.

A Self-Inflicted Tax Nazi Wound
Source: Golden Oinks [12/11/09]

On paper, imposing, then enforcing, a tax on coffee beans ordered over the Internet, seemed like an enriching idea, for German Tax Nazis. When they ran the numbers, they concluded that the new taxes and fees would produce a tidy windfall. What could possibly go wrong?

‘Germany spent more than 30 times as much collecting taxes on coffee beans ordered online from abroad than it received in the tax revenues, the accounting office said on Tuesday. Some 4,000 Germans who bought coffee over the Internet from other EU countries but failed to pay the coffee tax have been charged between a few cents to 10 euros ($14.81) in taxes and fees, said Dieter Engels, head of Germany's Federal Accounting Office...’

‘...Tax collectors ended up with just 25,000 euros, way below the 800,000 euros in the costs of staff charged with collecting the payments, Engels said. Engels said that other administrative costs often exceeded the amount collected. It usually takes up to a year for customs to handle the cases. "While the financial and customs authorities are too lax on some occasions, they go overboard in others. This has led to somewhat grotesque results in coffee taxation."...’ (Reuters)

What the hell happened to that legendary German efficiency? It’s Enquiring minds time, again, in the FSOP.

Excuses, Excuses
Source: NBC Connecticut [12/07/09]

The Elected Tormentor asshats on the Litchfield (Connecticut) town board are full of themselves, and it, when it comes to their battle against those ‘support our troops’ yellow ribbons. Since 2003, patriotic individuals have deployed the yellow ribbons around 5 trees on the Litchfield Green. Over that same time period, locals like Leslie Caron have seen to it that the ribbons are kept clean and presentable. Despite that, the town board of buttheads want to get rid of the ribbons - and the troops the ribbons represent, no doubt.

Initially, the town board whined that if they allowed yellow ribbons for deployed warriors, they would be compelled to let other groups deploy their own commemorative ribbons. Laughable? Hell yes. It’s a steaming pile of rhetorical turds from asshats who aren’t worthy of shining a warriors boots.

When the ribbon deluge turd didn’t float, these traitorous rat f-ing bastards pulled another stinker out of their butts. This time, they went greeniac and claimed that the yellow ribbons cause a - GASP - tree fungus. The dreaded yellow ribbon tree fungus? What a steaming pile of crap. I think it’s time for a certain porcine high flyer and his self-described "mutant spawn" to increase the voltage on the Litchfield Elected Tormentors’ shock treatments.

Parting shot: According to NBC Connecticut, none of these braying jackasses are returning the News Nitwits’ calls. They’re probably cowering under a rock, hoping that the rational adult blowback doesn’t become a category 5 political hurricane.

Feeling Puny In Phoenix
Source: Arizona Republic [12/02/09]

It was just ‘one of those’ days at the Phoenix Superior Court. Chaos started early, when 20 Maricopa County Sheriff’s deputies and detention officers didn’t show up for work. Of the 20, 19 took sick leave and the other one cited ‘unforeseen circumstances’. Rendered egregiously short handed, the court had to scramble to find someone to handle the 100 in custody inmates who were scheduled for a court date.

In addition to being short-handed, the Phoenix Superior Court got a bigger thrill, when someone ‘who claimed to be disgruntled with the Maricopa County Public Defenders Office phoned in a bomb threat around 10 a.m. Between evacuating 200 people from the court building and searching for the bomb, things didn’t get settled down again, until 1 p.m.

As fun as this sounds, it gets better, because the timing of this officer-felling disease is, uh, curious:

A representative for the Maricopa County Association of Detention Officers, John Solano, said the high absenteeism was not a coordinated act of solidarity for detention officer Adam Stoddard, who turned himself Tuesday night in to serve a sentence for contempt. That sentence stemmed from an incident in which Stoddard removed documents from a defense attorney's during a defendant's sentencing hearing.

Solano said a number of sheriff's personnel have been out sick of late. Solano and other detention officers refused to answer any questions about the "brownout" at a Tuesday afternoon press conference where more than 150 deputies and detention officers gathered outside the courthouse and reiterated their support of Stoddard.

The sheriff's personnel repeatedly said "they would not stand down" in their support of Stoddard, but could not elaborate on whether that support would include more press conferences or any other forms of protest. "We don't want to create a problem," Solano said, distancing the union from the decisions of sheriff's personnel who called in sick. "We don't have any protests. We don't plan for any protests. Our solidarity is for officer Stoddard." (Arizona Republic)

And what, you ask, does our favorite lawman, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, have to say about this mysterious malady which struck down 19 of his deputies? Prepare to be thrilled:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio said he had no indication that the sick-leave in the courts was related to Stoddard's situation. "I do have a political prisoner in jail who happens to be my Detention Officer," Arpaio added.

Give ‘em hell, Joe. Give ‘em hell.

Swiss Voters Get NIMBY
Source: PIG News Wire [12/01/09]

If you have an Islamikaze on your gift list, and want to thrill him, her, himher, or it, you can get ‘er done, by gift-wrapping a large bar of Swiss chocolate. If that doesn’t knot their supernaturalist knickers, you’re not doing it right.

That’s right, PIGsters, this week Swiss voters double dog dared the Islamikazes to ‘hit us with your best shot, Mecca Maniac Sparky’, when they approved - by a 57.5 to 42.5 margin - a constitutional ban on the construction of new minarets. In theory, since only 6% of Switzerland’s 7.5 million residents are Mecca Maniacs, and only 1 in 10 of those are active in Mecca Mania, this shouldn’t be a big deal. It shouldn’t, but it is. Why? The proponents of the initiative served up some properly PIGish campaign prose:

The sponsors of the initiative provoked complaints of bias from local officials and human-rights group with campaign posters that showed minarets rising like missiles from the Swiss flag next to a fully veiled woman. Backers said the growing Muslim population was straining the country "because Muslims don't just practice religion."

"The minaret is a sign of political power and demand, comparable with whole-body covering by the burqa, tolerance of forced marriage and genital mutilation of girls," the sponsors said. They noted that Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan has compared mosques to Islam's military barracks and called "the minarets our bayonets." (Fox)

The FSOP salutes the Swiss denizens who shed their nation’s notorious neutrality to draw a line in the sand against steady, Mecca Maniac encroachment. Now, if we could make the Dumbo-eared Red Shed Marxist wake up and smell the Jihadikaze coffee, life would nudge up from ‘just shoot me’, to ‘ask me again, tomorrow’.

 

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