Now that I've been enriched by cultures from such unlikely places as Rwanda, Sri Lanka, El Salvador and Kazakstan...Now that my mind has been liberated from the oppression of Euro-centric dogma...I'm constantly assaulted by the oppression that exists in American society. Nowhere is this more evident than on the roads and highways of our nation.

The following road signs are an insult to enlightened people and must be eliminated:

No Left Turn:
Militantly anti-progressive. For the good of society as a whole, especially the underclasses, movements to the left must be encouraged at all times. Those attempting turns to the right (reactionaries), those determined to go straight ahead (traditionalists) and especially those Rushing backwards (conservatives) must be made to yield to those moving left (progressives).

No Right Turn on Red:
Overtly reactionary. Movements to the right must be outlawed and violators put to death on the spot.

No U Turn:
Elitist. This forces a rational thought process on existentialists, progressives and other non-conceptual intellectuals who recreate reality as they go along, requiring frequent 180 degree changes in direction.

One Way Street:
Elitist and anti-democratic. This subjects the underclasses to the tyranny of those special interests who ignore the need of the masses to go in the wrong direction.

Loading Zone:
Materialistic. Elitist. Anti-democratic. Grants special privileges to powerful business interests who exploit the workers and underprivileged in the name of mindless greed.

Yield:
Demeans women. A blatant attempt to subject women to the oppressive yoke of those members of the chauvinist male horde who are impeding female progress by moving across her path.

The whole notion of road signs and traffic signals smacks of authoritarianism, and the naked aggression of a fascist police state. It's obscene to impose these Western values in this multi-cultural era. It's nothing short of tyranny to command blind obedience from everyone, when so many people may feel a need to move outside the meaningless conventions of our Euro-centric traffic customs. No justice...No peace!

– T.D. Treat