These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off along the U.S. Mexican border and have been given only the following facts about those attempting to enter the country illegally:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.

5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the border to be secure by Tuesday.