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Monday
January 21, 2019

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• CUPCAKE NATION •
Too many Cupcakes, Basement Boys and preciuos Snowflakes invading your Safe Space? You're in the very most, PIGish Safe Space.

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• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
ODE TO
BLACK LIES MATTER

There once was a thug named Brown,
Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown,
Six bullets later,
He met his creator,
Then his homies burnt down the town

GRAMMY TIME!
Why Have Granola When You Can Have Some Grammy Tune In.
>>Grammy Time >>
DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
>>> Go Here >>>

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Their Very Own, Self-Imposed Safe Space?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
Cry Bullies
Q. Tarantino
#BLM
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore
Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY

EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES
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PIG gets real about the Progtard war on objective reality.
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Get ready for a bumpy ride, reality sucks Sparky. PIG is ready to make you go cold turkey with some long overdue unvarnished facts of life.

It's everywhere we go. It's usually a pain in the butt. It's non-negotiable. It's objective reality, an unrelenting fact of human existence that a critical mass of alleged humans are fleeing like it's tainted with ebola. Everywhere I go...everywhere I look, I find reality-phobic pinheads addicted to lies, damn lies and steaming loads of pure bull crap. Like any addiction, the junkie must ingest ever increasing doses of their psychological comfort food to achieve the desired level of reality insulation.

A growing number of otherwise intelligent Americans are so distressed by the real world that they're retreating into a delusional alternative 'reality'. This 'comfort zone' is a place where up is down, black is white, and A just has to be B. It's a dreamscape that is built upon the mental quicksand of half truths, wishful thinking, myths and outright lies. To me, it's the stuff of nightmares, so why do so many Americans go there to escape from that pain in the butt, but essential to our survival, objective reality? I don't know, and that bugs the crap out of me, too.

What, you ask, got Hambo riled up this time? It's a lot of things. It's every new marauding left brainfart, but it's just one of many...too damn many. With the Jackass Party back in control of the House, we're in for a very bumpy ride.

From top to bottom, the Jackass Party is infested with reality phobic Moonbats. If their hearts are in the right place, if their intentions are good, are noble, it doesn't matter how detached from objective reality their brainfart is. Reality sucks, they insist. It keeps getting in the way, when a Jackass Party Moonbat insists on perpetrating something neurotically noble. As long as their intentions pass a progressive litmus test, it doesn't matter how far they ram their head up their ass.

If you're puzzled about the title of this rant, get over it:

Emperor's New Clothes: A vain Emperor who cares for nothing except wearing and displaying clothes hires two swindlers who promise him the finest, best suit of clothes from a fabric invisible to anyone who is unfit for his position or "hopelessly stupid". The Emperor's ministers cannot see the clothing themselves, but pretend that they can for fear of appearing unfit for their positions and the Emperor does the same. Finally the swindlers report that the suit is finished, they mime dressing him and the Emperor marches in procession before his subjects. The townsfolk play along with the pretense not wanting to appear unfit for their positions or stupid. Then a child in the crowd, too young to understand the desirability of keeping up the pretense, blurts out that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all and the cry is taken up by others. The Emperor cringes suspecting the assertion is true, but continues the procession by showing off his pretend clothes.

Objective Reality: The Emperor is, despite his brainfart, NAKED.

Like the aforementioned Emperor, Reality is, for marauding Moonbats, whatever they want it to be. It's whatever makes them feel good. Prove it? No problem. Let's look at a few examples.

Emperor's New Clothes: Numerous Jackass Party 'players', including Valerie Jarrett, the Botox Bitch, Sheila Jackson-Lee and assorted other Jackass Party Elected Tormentors, insisted that Unemployment Insurance is the BEST way to stimulate the American economy. It's a shame, they seem to think, that everyone can't participate.

Objective Reality: The money for those unemployment checks doesn't materialize out of thin air. It must be 'liberated' from someone else. Before it can be 'injected' into the economy via unemployment benefits, it has to be removed from the economy first. If you take a twenty from your wallet and put it in your pocket, have you stimulated your personal economy?

Emperor's New Clothes At least one Progtard Ivory Tower has nuked The Vagina Monologues because it's not inclusive enough. The injured party is TA DA trannsgender women [genderally confused men]

Objective Reality:.The Vagina Monologues are women yammering about their nads. This Ivory Tower's Korrectniks whined that this NONAD festivity excluded transgender women [men]. Men - even trannys - don"t have vaginas.

Emperor's New Clothes: When a Jackass Party hack, Bill Richardson, visited North Korea with the Socialist Moonbat who runs Google, what does he do? He bemoans the fact that North Koreans don't have high speed Internet access.

Objective Reality: The one irrefutable given about North Korea is the fetid fact that the regime is deliberately starving its people. It's a fact that's beyond dispute and this fool is yammering about Internet access? He's so detached from reality, the distance is measured in light years.

Emperor's New Clothes: There's not enough money coming in to fund such economically stimulating things as 'green' energy, welfare payments, unemployment benefits, universal healthcare, pay and benefits for government employees, plus enforcement of regulations which SAVE people from their own ignorance. The evil Trump temporary tax cuts for the rich are to blame. The greedy, 1% must 'pay their fair share'.

Objective Reality: Uncle Sam does NOT have a revenue problem. He has a SPENDING problem. The deficits (in trillions) for 2009 thru 2012 are as follows: $1.4 , $1.3, $1.3, $1.1. The problem can't be resolved with Draconian tax hikes. Even if you took everything the 'rich' have, it wouldn't even fund a year's worth of government spending. Furthermore, you can only steal everything they have ONCE, giving the Nanny State spend-a-holics an even bigger problem in the next fiscal year.

The ONLY way to fix it is via meaningful - spend less money in REAL dollars than they spent the prior year - spending cuts.

Emperor's New Clothes: The roads in the Mexifornia are, at best, terminally shitty. For the good of the 'people', money needs to be raised to fix them. The Marxist Legislature imposed a $65 tax on vehicle registrations the proceeds of which will be set aside for road upkeep and repair, exclusively.

Objective Reality: Tax money ear-marked for the upkeep/repair of roads in the Sanctuary State of Mexifornia has already been raised and set aside in a 'lock box'. So what, you ask, happened to all that money ear-marked for roads? It was seized by Jackass Party Elected Tormentors and used to pay the insane salary and benefits of public employee union members. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Emperor's New Clothes: Mexifornia's bullet train was sold as a fast, cheap way to go from San Diego to Frisco in 3 hrs or less, making only one stop [in L A].

Objective Reality It starts in Bakersfield and ends in San Jose, travels at existing train speeds, and makes frequent stops. It does this at sky high, bullet train construction prices.

Emperor's New Clothes: According to Facebook there are at least 71 genders. Here's a list:

Asexual, Female to male trans man, Female to male transgender man, Female to male transsexual man, F2M, Gender neutral, Hermaphrodite, Intersex man, Intersex person, Intersex woman, Male to female trans woman, Male to female transgender woman, Male to female transsexual woman, Man, M2F, Polygender, T* man, T* woman, Two* person, Two-spirit person, Woman, Agender, Androgyne, Androgynes, Androgynous, Bigender, Cis, Cis Female, Cis Male, Cis Man, Cis Woman, Cisgender, Cisgender Female, Cisgender Male, Cisgender Man, Cisgender Woman, Female to Male, FTM, Gender Fluid, Gender Nonconforming, Gender Questioning, Gender Variant, Genderqueer, Intersex, Male to Female, MTF, Neither, Neutrois, Non-binary, Other, Pangender, Trans, Trans Female, Trans Male, Trans Man, Trans Person, Trans*Female, Trans*Male, Trans*Man, Trans*Person, Trans*Woman, Transexual, Transexual Female, Transexual Male, Transexual Man, Transexual Person, Transexual Woman, Transgender Female, Transgender Person, Transmasculine, Two-spirit.

Objective Reality: Mother Nature recognizes two: male, female. You need one of each to breed.

Emperor's New Clothes: Sovereign Individuals who peaceably assemble to petition the Government (via a face to face with their designated Elected Tormentor) using their freedom of speech aren't exercising their liberty. They are engaged in terrorist acts against the Nanny State in general. They are the ONLY terrorists who are attacking America.

Additionally, Jihadikazes who fly planes into buildings, and try to blow up airliners during a flight, are just inexplicably cranky individuals who really need a hug.

Objective Reality: The United States promotes inalienable individual liberty for all individuals, making it the strongest force preventing political Islam from establishing its globe spanning supernaturalist gulag. Reality - as seen in daily news items from behind the burka curtain - demonstrates that inalienable individual liberty and Mecca Mania are fundamentally incompatible,..in essence individual liberty's version of matter and antimatter. Interacting like matter and antimatter, liberty and antiliberty (political Islam) destroy each other in a violent explosion whenever they come into direct contact. Islam, by its very nature, is our enemy.

Emperor's New Clothes: A Brtt man, Stephen Wood, is a tranny who now answers to Karen White. Steve/Karen is a convicted sex offender and paedophile.. The Brit legal system saw no problem sending a rapist to a women's prison.
What could possibly go wrong?

Objective Reality: I'll let the Daily Mail do the heavy lifting.

A transgender prisoner charged with raping a woman was remanded to a female prison where she indecently assaulted four inmates, a court heard.

Karen White, 52, was sent to the jail despite the fact that she was a convicted sex offender and paedophile.

All her previous offences had been committed when she was a man – and White had not had gender reassignment surgery when she went to women-only New Hall Prison near Wakefield, West Yorkshire, where the sex assaults took place.

The case could lead to a review of the rules for dealing with transgender inmates in the prison system.

Yesterday [Sept 2018] White pleaded guilty at Leeds Crown Court to the historic rape of a woman in August 2003, when she was then called Stephen Wood.

Emperor's New Clothes: The 'real' problem with America isn't the Marxist-infested Jackass Party. It's those political Neanderthals on the 'far right' who bitterly cling to their guns, their bibles, and outdated - irrelevant - historical relics, like : the Declaration of Independence, the U.S. Constitution, and those notorious racist white dudes, the Founding Fathers.

Objective Reality: There's no 'use by', or 'void after' date affixed to this: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,--That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Is this willful myopia, this reality sucks plague dangerous? Yup, especially when it comes to the infamous 'low information voters'. Is it incurable? Hardly, but, like any cure, there are numerous pitfalls, distractions, and hazards along that path to recovery. The first step to kicking that habit is a healthy dose of scepticism.

You can begin by admitting that our nation conceived in liberty is controlled by lying rat bastards who can't be trusted as far as you can throw Jupiter.

You can come to grips with the fact that America's problems are largely, of our own making because we prefer our cherished dream world to an objective reality that is, I freely admit, a pain in the butt. A never was, never will be, B. A is and always shall be A PIGsters.

The Emperor is NAKED and pretending otherwise is asinine.

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• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

YUP

• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To: [email protected]

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Image Source
MLB
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WORD OF THE DAY

SUPER BOWL, n.

An outrageously over hyped football game with the longest pre-game show in the history of pro sports telecasts.

"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."
-Hubert Humphrey

Did you know this?

Near the bottom, as you scroll down, are the words. The first stanza frequently comes to mind at sundown.

If any of you have ever been to a military funeral in which taps was played; this brings out a new meaning of it.

Here is something Every American should know. Until I read this, I didn't know, but I checked it out and it's true:

We in the United States have all heard the haunting song, 'Taps'. It's the song that gives us the lump in our throats and usually tears in our eyes.

But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I think you will be interested to find out about its humble beginnings.

Reportedly, it all began in 1862 during the Civil War, when Union Army Captain Robert Elli was with his men near Harrison's Landing in Virginia. The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land.

During the night, Captain Elli heard the moans of a soldier who lay severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or Confederate soldier, the Captain decided to risk his life and bring the stricken man back for medical attention. Crawling on his stomach through the gunfire, the Captain reached the stricken soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment.

When the Captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it was actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead.

The Captain lit a lantern and suddenly caught his breath and went numb with shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was his own son. The boy had been studying music in the South when the war broke out. Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate Army.

The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of his superiors to give his son a full military burial, despite his enemy status. His request was only partially granted.

The Captain had asked if he could have a group of Army band members play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral. The request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate.
But, out of respect for the father, they did say they could give him only one musician.

The Captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead youth's uniform. This wish was granted.

The haunting melody, we now know as 'Taps' used at military funerals was born. The words are:

Day is done.
Gone the sun.
From the lakes
From the hills.
From the sky.
All is well.
Safely rest.
God is nigh.

Fading light.
Dims the sight.
And a star.
Gems the sky.
Gleaming bright.
From afar.
Drawing nigh.
Falls the night.

Thanks and praise.
For our days.
Neath the sun
Neath the stars.
Neath the sky
As we go.
This we know.
God is nigh.

I too have felt the chills while listening to 'Taps' but I have never seen all the words to the song until now. I didn't even know there was more than one verse. I also never knew the story behind the song and I didn't know if you had either so I thought I'd pass it along.

I now have an even deeper respect for the song than I did before.

Remember those lost and harmed while serving their country. Also remember those who have served and returned; and for those presently serving in the armed forces.

The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton

House and Senate Democrats ratcheted up pressure on Trump to re-open the government this week. They believe polls saying the public is fervently on their side. To be honest, I have the same reaction to the government shutdown I had when I heard that Radio Shack was going out of business.

• The FBI probed Trump for espionage after he fired Comey and met with Putin. The feds think he's too stupid to be president yet somehow he's brilliant enough to steal an election. If Trump is a Russian agent because he met with Putin, then I'm a Yankee spy because I drank like General Grant.

• The New York Times admitted it's biased against President Trump but added that they're right to be biased. They've gotten a little sloppy. The Times accidentally ran a photo of Hillary shaking hands with Trump before a 2016 debate, proving she met with a Russian agent during the campaign.

• Democratic presidential candidate Julian Castro was buoyed by Obama's call on Monday for the party to promote the young. He's a committed progressive. In order to position himself to the left of Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, Castro may have to grow a beard, even if it costs him Florida.

• San Antonio's Democratic former mayor and HUD secretary Julian Castro announced Friday in San Antonio that he's running for President of the United States in 2020. It's not going to be easy for Castro to be elected. And people thought Obama had a rough going with a name like Hussein

• Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez aired a video of her Democratic Socialist proposals to overhaul America. She believes that the country has a lot of problems, and with socialism, we can turn it around three-hundred-sixty degrees. She has a plan to make the Electoral College tuition-free.

• Japan announced they will begin levying an exit fee on every visitor who comes to Japan upon their departure, calling the fee a Sayonara Tax. What a terrific idea. If Mexico imposed an Adios Tax on everyone who left Mexico, they'd have enough cash to build a wall to keep the Americans out.

• President Trump threatened to declare a national emergency and pay for the border wall out of Pentagon funds or emergency disaster relief funds. This prompted an outcry from the Pentagon and Puerto Rico. Suppose we build the wall on the Mexican side of the border and call it foreign aid?

• The U.S. Senate approved a bill that will provide back pay to federal workers who have been furloughed due to the shutdown. It only fueled their outrage. Only government workers would complain about not going to work when they're going to wind up getting paid for not working anyway.

• Hawaii Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard announced Friday that she will run for the presidency and launched a fundraising campaign. Tulsi is respected as a tough customer. President Trump graciously welcomed her to the race, adding that if elected she'd be our first president born in Hawaii.

• Democratic Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard began her 2020 presidential campaign on Friday with a speech ripping Trump's insistence on building a border wall. Of course, Hawaii doesn't need a wall, they have a shark-filled moat. And to this day you won't find a Guatemalan in Honolulu.

• House freshman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez continued taking selfies inside the U.S. Capitol and ripping older Democratic leaders while proposing a seventy-percent income tax on the rich. Due to PC you are no longer allowed to call a moron a moron. You have to call her Congresswoman AOC. Canadian government officials announced Sunday that they want to add a million immigrants to Canada's population by the end of next year to fill job openings. It's welcome news to the U.S. President Trump could now re-open the government just by adding a Caravan Lane to Interstate Five.

 

WHO STEPPED IN IT THIS WEEK?
January 18, 2019


Counterpunch of the Week:

Donald Trump makes America great again by grounding San Fran Nan.

Don't sass your 'daddy' Nan.

~

Self-Inflicted Wound of the Week

The clown posse running this year's Oscars broadcast decides to perpetrate this Trump bashing extravaganza without a host.

Pass the popcorn.

~

Razor Burn of the Week:

Gillette poops out a stinker with their screed about toxic masculinity.

All that free publicity has them laughing all the way to the bank.

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1979 Offsides called when Pluto's erratic orbit brings it closer to the sun making Neptune outermost planet. After all its appeals are exhausted, Pluto expelled from planet guild in 2006.

1990 John McEnroe does what comes naturally at the Australian Open. Humor challenged Aussies kick him out of tournament for throwing tantrum, swearing at an official..

GET YOUR SCOOP OF PIGISH POOP
If your Boob-Tube, News Nit-Wits or Social Media Meatheads aren't providing you with enough Caitlyn, Justin, Miley, The Donald, High Profile Race Hustlers
or anyone else that stops the presses and your world, well, OMG! and WTF! You're in the right place. Kulture Watch takes precision aim at anyone caught in our crosshairs and headlights and will give you, "The rest of the story."
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IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
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INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>



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January is
Impeach him Month
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LHunker downm 45. It's gonna get ugky..
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A B
ETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
ALICE'S RESTAURANT
PIGsters! You don't have to wait until Schools Out to head into Alice Cooper'stown in Phoenix, AZ, an eatery founded by Alice Cooper and Randy Johnson. A place where Jocks and Rock meet. Try their specialty, The Big Unit.
>>> Menu >>>
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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WWW.ARIZONABITEME.COM
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NATIONAL REVIEW
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FARK
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WOODPILE REPORT
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HONOR 1778
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2018 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2018: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.