CLASS ACTION COCKROACHES
by a quasi-human obscenity - the Amerikan Trial Lawyer - class action
lawsuits are a cancer devouring the foundation of our inalienable
individual liberty: Amerikan Capitalism. This enriching scheme went
mainstream when these law-degreed cockroaches painted a bull's-eye
on 'Big Tobacco', a scam that resulted in the marginally-legal extortion
known as 'The Tobacco Settlement'. Flushed with victory, their pockets
stuffed to overflowing, this villainous vermin, immediately, set
out in search of more, deep, corporate pockets to plunder.
and abetted by complicit, Nanny Government hacks eagerly seeking
new excuses to tax another industry into oblivion, this trial lawyer
plague is gearing up to impoverish another allegedly dire public
health threat: obesity, obesity perpetrated by those archfiends
in 'Big Food'. Fronting for a critical mass comprised of bloated
parasites, these class action cockroaches are poised to exterminate
big food, by any means necessary. After their shocking success against
'Big Tobacco', the class action cockroaches assault on big food
must cannot be easily dismissed.
Armed with suspiciously-timed government reports about the 'obesity
epidemic', plus frantic fishwrap fantasies to whip up popular support,
the law degreed leeches might actually succeed in putting Ronald
McDonald on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List. Their success depends
on your willingness to let them demonize another Amerikan industry.
Their success depends on your willingness to shift the blame onto
the deep-pocketed 'big food' cabal, instead of nailing the fast
food swilling wide load who shoveled down all those burgers, milkshakes,
fries and pizzas. These class action cockroaches are beneath contempt,
so why would you side with someone whose rightful place is in your
toilet bowl, floating around with all the other turds?
is up to god damn here with this pond scum and sewer sludge perpetrating
these class action outrages. PIG will arm you with all the weapons
you need: the unvarnished facts about the class action cancer that's
determined to destroy Amerikan capitalism.
PUBLIC BURDEN SCAM
former Massachusetts Attorney General, now the mouthpiece for 'Common
Cause', is on a crusade to plunder the gambling industry. He thinks
it's scandalous that these heartless casino owners aren't 'feeling
the pain' of compulsive gamblers. It is a public policy issue, he
claims, one that is egregiously neglected and needs immediate attention.
He demands that casino owners be forced to take measures to prevent
clueless dolts from losing their shirts at the gaming tables. Casino
owners must be forced to train their casino employees to spot intellectual
flatliners who might piss away their last dime on a roll of the
dice, or a spin of the roulette wheel. Failure to spot, browbeat
and dissuade these high roller dolts would result in heavy fines,
Draconian taxes and more shyster abuse from class action cockroaches.
The loot extorted from casinos is intended to help the compulsive
gambler victimized by evil casinos pick up the pieces of his shattered
life, but if it works out like the infamous tobacco settlement,
all the boodle will land in shyster or political hack pockets. The
poor dumb dice-addicted bastard will be lucky to see a penny of
it. This shyster asshole's spew amounts to a lot of smoke and mirrors
that is centered around welfare state largess and the fact that
casino owners are easily demonized.
'public burden' argument leads us to strange places. One could make
the case that unprotected butt monkey is a public burden, since
it often leads to AIDS, a significant burden on the nation's health
care system. Do we make gays dig into their deep pockets to offset
this public burden? Or, if we follow the ploy being perpetrated
on the casino owners, do we force condom makers to pay a heavy tax,
because the ones who should use condoms, don't? What would we call
this? How about 'the bun ranger tax'? Mountain climbers pose a public
burden, due to the numerous rescues they impose on government agencies.
Where are the deep pockets here? Do we impose a special tax on companies
that manufacture climbing gear, forcing them to police their clients,
making sure they weed out the dolts who can't get out of their own
fiscal stupidity is the tripwire leading to punishing Nanny government-sanctioned
extortion, it can be used against any business, from investment
firms, to department stores, even your local grocery purveyor. Do
we force Wall Street brokerage firms to 'educate their employees'
to be on the alert for congenital morons who might be part of their
client base? Do we tax the profits of these firms to pay for the
public burden caused by the brain-dead investor's self-induced bankruptcy?
Are supermarkets, department stores, shopping malls to be penalized,
financially, and required to screen all of their shoppers, lest
some big spender, incur debt he can't repay? Where does this shyster-inspired
This public burden bovine excrement
is nothing more than a shyster scheme to plunder an endless array
of deep pockets because some individuals are complete morons. Calling
something a public policy issue (a public burden) is the shyster
equivalent of the god squad's favorite rant: The devil made me do
it. Individual accountability, you say...they never heard of it.
Welcome to parasite-infested Amerika, Sparky.
Nanny Government Crusade | Source:
usual suspects launched their first - but far from last - trial
balloon in their campaign to save the unwary from themselves...Yes,
again! This one follows the highway paved in gold trod by the smoke
Nazis, but this time, the target is Amerika's rapidly expanding
waistline. That's right, Nanny government fans, and we both know
who you are, they're retooling to plunder those industries that
callously turned Uncle Sam from a lean, mean, fighting machine,
into a bloated, human whale who looks like the Goodyear Blimp wrapped
in red, white and blue.
war starts exactly like the smoke Nazi assault, with a plaintive
wail citing the high cost 'fat' imposes on Amerika. The number cited,
$93 billion in dead presidents each year according to AP,
is impressive, but probably egregiously inflated. The next phase
will involve a smoke Nazi-like insistence that this cost poses an
intolerable public burden on government, making it a matter that
mandates a Nanny government solution. Sound familiar? It should.
It's what the old, libertarian Larry Elder called 'the welfare state
welfare state argument, invariably, prods otherwise intelligent
individuals to punish those capitalist enterprises decorated with
an 'enemy of Nanny government' bull's-eye. The initial focus put
insurance companies in the hot seat, but the enemies list will eventually
expand to include deep pockets called 'McDonalds', 'Burger King',
'Domino's Pizza', 'KFC', and a host of others lumped together under
the easily demonized moniker 'big food'. Egged on by their fat Nazi
cohorts, the class action cockroaches demand that insurance companies
cover fat farm costs in their healthcare policies. Eventually, when
insurance companies plead poverty, due to out of control fat Nazi
costs, the fat Nazi's will use that excuse to impose a government
solution, where none is needed. The actual solution involves dismantling
Amerika's welfare state, but don't hold our breath waiting for anyone,
including the new, elephant clan Larry Elder, to suggest anything
as rational as that.
Another Amerikan Industry | Source:
to rest on their laurels and count their billions in tribute from
the 'enriching' tobacco shyster assault, the usual relentlessly-greedy
subjects are gearing up to destroy another Amerikan industry. The
lawsuits are a virtual done deal, but we're left to ponder the inevitable
question: Will eat on the run Amerikans sit still while the shysters
destroy the fast food industry? We'll know too damn soon, because
this shyster-perpetrated extortion scheme is ready to launch phase
'...Fast food's biggest players on Thursday will receive a jolting
demand from the law professor who helped bring Big Tobacco to its
knees: Display warning notices about the alleged addictive nature
of fatty foods. John Banzhaf III, of George Washington University,
is sending the demand in certified letters to CEOs at six major
fast-food chains -- McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, KFC, Taco
Bell and Pizza Hut -- as a necessary first step, he says, toward
filing a lawsuit against the fast-food giants within six to nine
months...' (USA Today)
Conventional wisdom opines that this fight is more difficult than
the last one, because fast food purveyors aren't as easy to demonize
as 'big tobacco'. That sounds good enough, but it assumes a level
of awareness that has not shown its head in Amerika for much too
long. Just in case someone out there is paying attention, this egghead
is playing the same card that worked against big tobacco. He claims
that he has evidence proving that fast food is an 'addiction' and
there are plenty of reality-phobic wide loads willing to lend their
names to this farce.
way this works is annoyingly simple. If you're a wide load and want
someone to blame, track down the nearest shyster and tell him you
want to sue your favorite restaurant, because it's all their fault
that you eat too god damn much. Will this be as successful as the
tobacco assault? Oh hell yes! In 21st Century Amerika it's a virtual
slam dunk. The only question left to ask is this: After the shyster
assholes shut down Amerika's $115 billion restaurant industry, who
will they target next?
Sooner or later, this crap will catch up to the shysters. Amerikans
may be greedy, obnoxious, lazy dolts, but eventually, they'll see
what's happening and get very damn pissed. Where will the shysters
hide when Amerikans view the carnage and want some shyster blood?
It will happen and when it does it's going to be very nasty.
There's nothing that wrong with Amerika that an epidemic of dead
[expletive deleted] lawyers won't cure.
Shysters | Source:
usual 'sue those deep pocket bastards into bankruptcy' suspects
gathered in the Bay State to plot their asinine attack on the newest
deep pockets painted with a shyster bull's-eye: big food. That's
right, we're talking about the newest shyster assault on capitalism,
the one that targets the fast food industry. This Beantown fishwrap
described this gathering with the following breathless prose:
'...In a Back Bay conference room last month, in proceedings so
secret that participants were forced to sign affidavits pledging
silence, the groundwork was set for Boston to become the epicenter
of a new legal battle patterned on the fight against Big Tobacco:
Big Food. Led by some of the same people who successfully sued tobacco
companies for the cost of smoking-related illnesses, they now are
training their sights on the fast-food giants and others they see
as responsible for the nation's epidemic of obesity...' (Globe)
and abetted by Ivory Tower eggheads from Northeastern and Tuffs,
these relentlessly greedy shysters laid down their secret plots,
spewing drivel about doing it for the people. What a crock! This
is blatant greed, and nothing more. If shysters aren't the most
reviled creatures in the Universe, they will be, after they finish
destroying the big food industry. How many more nails will they
pound into Amerikan Capitalism's coffin before the parasite horde
gets the big picture? Don't know, but it's going to happen, eventually.
Shyster Asshats: Sooner or later, probably after you plunder countless
Amerikan industries into bankruptcy, the parasite horde infesting
Amerika will wake the [expletive deleted] up and notice that every
damn time you assholes drive an industry into oblivion, the Amerikan
economy gets worse...unemployment gets higher. When that happens
- and make no mistake, it's already beginning - somebody is going
to declare war on shyster asshats like you. Anger management isn't
a prime Amerikan trait, so you should expect it to get ugly, very
damn ugly. Torch packing lynch mobs? I certainly hope so, because
you all [expletive deleted] deserve it, and you damn sure know it.
I favor summary executions for every law-degreed-assclown, I can't
guarantee that things will get that thrilling for you, at first.
Law-degreed-cretins like you are like locusts who devour every
shred of our economic activity. When a plague threatens your livelihood,
there's only one thing to do: exterminate the pest doing all the
damage. Death to all shysters? You better believe it, law degreed
If the tobacco settlement's perpetrators thought they were immune
to the law of unintended consequences, they know better, now. Promising
to loot a hefty $245 billion in dead presidents from 'big tobacco'
over a 25 year period, the tobacco settlement appeared to be a reliable
revenue stream for years to come. Thanks to a belated reality check,
smoke Nazi sludge knows better, now:
'...Figures compiled by the Council of State Governments, a nonprofit
research group, show settlement payments, so far, are $6.3 billion
below projections because sales fell faster than expected. By the
end of the decade, income from the settlement could be running 39
percent below projections, and by 2018, states could be collecting
half of what they expected, according to a recent report by the
I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. The drop in sales
that hit these tax Nazis in the wallet is not due to a significant
drop in the number of smokers. In fact, since this smoke Nazi extortion,
the number of smokers only fell 1.4% between the settlement's inception
in1997 and 2001. During the same period, the Federal tobacco Nazis
estimate that the number of smokes for which taxes were collected
fell by 12.5%. Obviously, something is happening and it's not due
to fewer smokers.
reasons for the extortion take's drop are, primarily, marketplace
driven. Many people purchase their smokes via the Internet, where
most smokes sellers don't play tax collector for the various states.
Another factor involves smaller smokes manufacturers that weren't
part of this extortion. They can price their smokes lower, because
they don't have settlement-driven extortion payments to pass along.
A final element involves cigarette tax shopping. For example if
Jersey's $2.05 per pack tax annoys you, a leisurely drive to Virginia
puts you in high cotton where the per pack state tax is a low, low
2.5 cents per pack. Last, but far from least, smokes smuggling has
become a growth industry.
tobacco settlement rates as a text book unintended consequences
example, but don't hold your breath waiting for smoke Nazis to admit
it. They'll do it all over again, when their trial lawyer partners
in extortion, plunder 'big food'. When fries hit $57 per order -
including tax, of course - will we hear about fast food smugglers
selling this forbidden food from the back of a truck? Enquiring
minds want to know.
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