PREAMBLE | STRAYED FROM YOUR HYPHENATED HORDE? WE CAN HELP

If you had a problem with booze that was adversely affecting your life and you wanted to change, you would go to A. A. for help. Nasty little crack habit keeping you down? Go to Narcotics Anonymous. Smoking, gambling, overeating, sex, or shopping out of control? There's a support group for you out there, no matter what the disorder. Alas, there is, we have discovered, a notable exception. PIG's crack research team reports that Infectious Individualism is the leading killer of group identity. Are you debilitated by this noxious ailment, but too traumatized to get the help you need? PIG feels your shame. PIG is proud to sponsor a new support group, the first of its kind, Individual's Anonymous.

Are you properly-hyphenated, but feeling disturbing twinges of individuality? We can help. Is your group identity under siege by terms like 'I', 'me', 'mine'? We can help. Let I. A. restore you to a life of codependency, and blameless anonymity as a properly programmed member of your assigned group. Act now, before it's too late.

Dr. Porcus Welby, M.D., a Senior Fellow at The PIG Institute of Incorrectness, devised a simple test to determine your exposure to this silent killer, a devastating affliction that's responsible for exterminating millions of group identities each year.

Answer the following questions with a simple 'yes' or 'no' to determine if you are suffering from Infectious Individualism:

• Have you ever deliberately refused to identify your victim group affiliation
  on a document, form or application?

• Do you impulsively take personal responsibility for your own actions?

• Do you, secretly, suspect that your sensitivities are counterfeit, rather
  than real?


• Have you ever judged someone on their merits, instead of their group
  identity?

• Do you, occasionally, resent self-appointed group spokesmen who claim
  they're speaking for you?

• Do you REALLY practice what your group preaches?

• Do gay pride Prance-A-Thons make you laugh like a mental patient?

• Do group mantras such as 'racist', 'sexist', 'homophobe' or 'no justice,
  no peace' annoy you?

• Do quotas, set-asides and special 'protections' based on group identity
  humiliate or enrage you?

• Are you starting to resent Nanny government coddling and the parasites
  who feed off it?

• Do terms such as 'racial profiling', 'diversity', 'hate crime' and class envy
  make you go postal?

• Do you resent sharing the fruits of your labor with greedy, obnoxious,
  lazy dolts?

• Are you insulated from historic injustices because they didn't happen to
  you and, besides, the perpetrators turned into worm chow long before
  you were born?

• Ever regarded the Clintons as arrogant, overgrown teenagers, or
  borderline felons? Better yet, ever catch yourself laughing at a
  Hillary joke?

If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, you're exhibiting symptoms of Infectious Individualism. If left untreated, it poses a mortal danger to your group identity. PIG's victimhood-restoring strike teams feel your pain and stand poised to help you through this crisis. Let us revitalize your sense of oppression before it's too late.

The help you crave is only one mouse click away - RE-HYPHENATE ME!!!

Or click here to - DECLARE YOUR INDEPENDENCE-DEFECT TO THE INCORRECT

– P.K. Crowley and T.D. Treat

 
© Copyright 1993-2014 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette


 

"If millions of people believe in a stupid idea, it's still a stupid idea."
– ANATOLE FRANCE

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Because PIG Is The Place
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MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
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Counts As Two Votes.

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