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Saturiday
October 25, 2014

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A Forgotten Man
 
The Duffer In Chief traded 5 top terrorist leaders for a man who is, many believe, a deserter.
 
This same Oval Office Pussy won’t lift a finger to free Marine Sgt Andrew Tahmooressi, whose only ‘crime’ is making a wrong turn at the U.S.- Mexican border.
 
Call your Elected Tormentor. Demand that Mexico be forced to set this political prisoner free.

RIGHT ON
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
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'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore & Any Kardashian caboose Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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TOP STORY
STRANGER THAN FICTION
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PIG tells tales that invariably end with 'you can't make this stuff up'.

The Libertard mind and the synaptic train wreck it contains, makes the lefties act out, in ways that manage to amaze, annoy, and amuse, all at once. That's why, this week, we decided to analyze some tales that made us stop and take second look. They range from garden variety 'weird' to the ragged edge of what Hambo calls 'deal-breaker weird'.

All of our examples seem much too bizarre to be true, but our sources are solid. Strange, but true is officially in play. So, I hasten to add, is 'what the hell are they smoking'.

Before we spend some quality time delving into a few epic tales which made us do a double-take, we'll give you two quick hits to bludgeon your head into the proper frame of mind.

Ebola

Much closer to the problem, Ivory Coast, Guinea-Bissau and Senegal have slowed the spread of ebola, by closing their borders. This has helped confine the ebola outbreak in Africa to Liberia, Sierra Leone, and Guinea.

It sounds like a winning idea to me, and most rational adults would agree. Since he isn't the least bit rational, and seldom acts like an adult, Barry has his own notions on the subject:

Obama said the experts have advised him that it's more effective to let West Africans into the U.S. than it would be to keep them out.

Instead of confining Ebola to the smallest part of Africa possible, Barry wants to import it.

You can't make this shit up.

Jihadikazes

How does this fool, Kerry, breathe with his head shoved so far up his ass? This week, he spouted off about ISIS, al Qaeda, Muslim Brotherhood, etc - muddying the waters by using the word 'extremists'. Stealing some of his rant from our PIGish satire, Bolt Neck categorically dismissed Islam as the root cause.

"The extremism that we see, the radical exploitation of religion which is translated into violence, has no basis in any of the real religions," he said. "There's nothing Islamic about what ISIL/Daesh stands for, or is doing to people."

Nope, it's all our fault - mostly our fault - because such things as:

Poverty among 'youthful Mideast populations.

Israel - 'the Israeli - Palestinian conflict'

Last but far from least, he blames - TA DA - climate change.

You can't make this shit up.

Okay, okay. Government officials are the proverbial low-hanging fruit. It's time to move higher up the tree.

Our next two epics feature Ivory Tower Eggheads who should be smart enough to know better.

Oh Deer

Located in Ithaca (New York) Cornell University seemed very welcoming for certain Empire State denizens. In fact, it's entirely too welcoming, for the white tail deer who infest the campus in large numbers. What to do?

The normal response would involve bringing in hunters to thin the herd, but tree huggers had issues with that, so the Eggheads took a different approach:

They chose to experiment with sterilizing many of the wild deer on campus while allowing periodic hunting on nearby land — and the result was something that nobody anticipated.

The method of contraception chosen by Cornell was tubal ligation, in which a doe's fallopian tubes are either blocked or severed. This prevents egg cells from reaching the uterus. Unlike chemical forms of birth control, tubal ligation is typically permanent and avoids the expense of capturing the same deer each year to maintain their infertility. At a cost of roughly $1,200 per deer, 77 does were captured and sterilized though tubal ligation. (Without the help of the Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, the costs would have been higher.) [Legal Insurrection]

The good: the birthrate went down and so did the number of does, but the number of deer stayed least the same. Mature bucks were arriving on campus in impressive numbers. Eventually some Eggheads understood the problem: they'd disrupted the reproductive cycle of the does they'd operated on.

The bad: At least 3 of the 77 does operated on got pregnant anyway.

The Ugly:

Under normal conditions, all female whitetails go into heat within several weeks of each other and become pregnant at around the same time. This annual event is called the rut. However, if a doe is not impregnated during the rut, it will enter heat again the following month and again the month after that. Because the ligated does were unable to become pregnant, they continued to produce chemical signals of readiness to reproduce — signals that can attract bucks from miles away.

They tried hunting/tapping, but it elicited an outraged howl from campus critter coddlers. Cornell officials decided to try sterilization: removing the ovaries from campus does. They did that to three does, but one of them got urped anyway.

Where there's a will there's a way.

Cornell still has a deer problem. On that subject, Cornell has no clue.

William Jacobson (Legal Insurrection) offered some sage advice to the Cornell clown posse: Stop. STOP. Just stop. STOP!!!!!

A Girl Named Timothy

A student who was born female felt perfectly comfortable identifying as a man at Wellesley College — until people said he shouldn't be class diversity officer because he is now a white male.

Timothy Boatwright was born a girl, and checked off the "female" box when applying to the Massachusetts all-women's school, according to an article in the New York Times. But when he got there, he introduced himself as a "masculine-of-center genderqueer" person named "Timothy" (the name he picked for himself) and asked them to use male pronouns when referring to him.

And, by all accounts, Boatwright felt welcome on campus — until the day he announced that he wanted to run for the school's office of multicultural affairs coordinator, whose job is to promote a "culture of diversity" on campus.

But some students thought that allowing Boatwright to have the position would just perpetuate patriarchy. They were so opposed, in fact, that when the other three candidates (all women of color) dropped out, they started an anonymous Facebook campaign encouraging people not to vote at all to keep him from winning the position.

"I thought he'd do a perfectly fine job, but it just felt inappropriate to have a white man there," the student behind the so-called "Campaign to Abstain" said.

"It's not just about that position either," the student added. "Having men in elected leadership positions undermines the idea of this being a place where women are the leaders."

Boatwright told the Times that his high-school friends knew he was transgender, but he identified himself as female on the application to Wellesley because he didn't want his mom to know. Of course, Wellesley is also a female school, and "it seemed awkward to write an application essay for a women's college on why you were not a woman," he said.

Okay we have a biological female who had one of those trendy, 'I'm really a guy named Timothy' brain farts.

Since she/he hadn't copied mom on that memo, she/he checked off 'girl', on the relevant Wellesley College paperwork.

Once she/he got settled in at the Estrogen Tower, she/he went all in on Timothy. So far, so good.

Timothy's saga hit a speed bump when 'he' decided to run for the school's office of multicultural affairs coordinator. Unwilling to sully themselves three other candidates dropped out. A backlash movement 'Campaign to Abstain' made 'him' bow out, too. So be it.

And now we arrive at the 'punchline', courtesy of the NYT:

"It wasn't about Timothy," the student behind the Abstain campaign told me. "I thought he'd do a perfectly fine job, but it just felt inappropriate to have a white man there. It's not just about that position either. Having men in elected leadership positions undermines the idea of this being a place where women are the leaders."

A white male? You're half right, cupcake, because she/he is melanin-challenged. BUT no matter what name she/he uses, Timothy is FEMALE.

I asked Timothy what he thought about that argument, as we sat on a bench overlooking the tranquil lake on campus during orientation. He pointed out that he has important contributions to make to the MAC position. After all, at Wellesley, masculine-of-center students are cultural minorities; by numbers alone, they're about as minor as a minority can be. And yet Timothy said he felt conflicted about taking a leadership spot. "The patriarchy is alive and well," he said. "I don't want to perpetuate it." [NRO]

"The patriarchy is alive and well. I don't want to perpetuate it." WTF! You're still FEMALE, gender-bender Sparky.

Everyone at Wellesley College is drinking the gender-bender Kool-Aid which is obviously TOXIC.

You can't make this shit up.

Voter Fraud on Steroids

If a Republican ever gets elected to statewide office in Colorado, it will be a miracle:

In 2013, a new Democratic state legislature rammed through a sweeping and highly controversial election law and convinced Democratic governor John Hickenlooper to sign it. The law, known as House Bill 1303, makes Colorado the only state in the country to combine two radical changes in election law: 1) abolishing the traditional polling place and having every voter mailed a ballot and 2) establishing same-day registration, which allows someone to appear at a government office and register and vote on the same day without showing photo ID or any other verifiable evidence that establishes identity. If they register online a few days before, no human being ever has to show up to register or vote. A few keystrokes can create a voter and a "valid" ballot. Once a ballot cast under same-day registration is mixed in with others, there is no way to separate it out if the person who voted is later found ineligible. Other jurisdictions that have same-day registration, such as Washington, D.C., treat the vote as a provisional ballot pending verification. Colorado immediately counts the vote. [NRO]

You can't make this shit up.

Ray Rice Halloween Costume

Ray Rice's claim to infamy is punching out his wife in an elevator, then dragging her out, afterwards. Charming! He's out of the NFL, but far from forgotten.

There are many hilarious, inoffensive costumes to wear for Halloween parties this month — Ray Rice is not one of them.

Plenty of people were disgusted when a picture of a man dressed as the disgraced running back was posted online.

The photo shows a man wearing Rice's No. 27 jersey dragging a blowup doll to represent his wife. [NYDN]

Here's that photo:

You can't make this shit up.


• PIG's Weekly News Digest
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Get a PIG's-eye view of the week's events.
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
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WORD OF THE DAY

PUBLIC OPINION POLL, n.

An exercise in data manipulation wherein pre-determined - desired - results are achieved by asking loaded, leading, and misleading questions.

Asked to list successes in President Obama's Iraq policy during a presser, the State Department's Jen Psaki was unable to name one.

Probably had to bite her tongue to keep from saying "kept you from talking about Benghazi".
– Harvey on IMAO

They just added 'highway guardrails' to the things that will kill you list. At this point, wouldn't it be much simpler to list the 1 or 2 things that WON'T kill you?

A True Hero

[DM] A mysterious hero in an LA Dodgers cap who carried an elderly man from the flames of his burning house has been unmasked as a local truck driver.

Thomas Artiaga carried 73-year-old Robert Wells from his flaming home in Fresno, California on Saturday.

Video of the dramatic rescue showed bystanders panicking outside the house, as flames stream from the building.

As Mr Wells's family shouted desperately for help, Artiaga was pictured emerged from the apartment building with Mr Wells slung over his shoulder - but left the scene soon after to avoid attention.

But his heroism caught up with him when he was honored last night on the Jimmy Kimmel show, and given the chance to make the first pitch for his beloved Dodgers at a game this weekend.

Sat in the audience with his wife Hannah, the father-of-three was surprised to be hauled onstage and presented with an LA Dodgers Jersey and a signed baseball by former manager Tommy Lasorda.

The Dodgers legend praised Artiaga's 'selfless heroism' as he shook his hand and offered him the chance to open the game this weekend.

Speaking to local news earlier in the week, Artiaga described his actions as 'instinct'. He revealed that he was passing by in his truck when he saw the blaze, leaped out and plucked the stricken Mr Wells from his backyard and carried him to safety.

He told ABC News: 'It's just an instinct - you see something and you help out people.'

On Kimmel's show last night, Artiaga elaborated, telling how he could feel the heat from the blaze as he carried Wells away. He laughed off suggestions that he was a serial do-gooder who wears a cape at weekends.

Describing Mr Wells's reaction to the rescue, Artiaga simply said: 'Yeah's he's happy about it.'

The two met in calmer circumstances earlier this week when Artiaga made a visit to the hotel where Wells is staying with his family after their home was destroyed.

He said: 'I'm glad you was there. I don't know where you were coming from or what, but I'm glad.'

Firefighters say the Saturday morning blaze started in the garage of the Fresno apartment, where Wells lived with his daughter, granddaughter and great-grandson.

Flames quickly spread. Wells is frail and relies on oxygen tank to breathe.

Wells' daughter, Roberta Francis, 51, escaped to the street, where she shouted for anyone to help her father still inside.

Meza, 40, was working on a nearby apartment and heard her cries. Artiaga was in the neighborhood helping an elderly friend with yard work when he saw the commotion.

Firefighters arrived soon after the rescue and put out the flames that caused an estimated $100,000 in damage. Wells was taken to a local hospital for treatment and later released

Killjoys

Connecticut Elementary Schools Cancel Halloween Over Fears It Could Offend People…

PC fanatics rejoice!

Newington, Conn. (WTNH) — Bah Humbug! It's the wrong holiday, but some say the grinch came early and took Halloween from the kids at two Newington Elementary Schools. The principals at Ruth Chaffee Elementary and Anna Reynolds Elementary say leave the costumes at home.

That means 8-year-old Alyssa Montano can't bring her pointed hat and broom to the classroom.

"What did you think when you found out you can't celebrate Halloween at school?" we asked.

"It was stupid and weird because they shouldn't take it away from other people," said Alyssa.

Her mom, Lori, says she was the one to have to break the bad news to her daughter.

"She's disappointed, very disappointed because she has been doing it all the way up to this year," said Lori. "Now they are not doing it this year."

Parents say they got letters from the principals stating that since not everyone celebrates Halloween, it should not be celebrated. Lori Montano says it's taking political correctness too far.

"I think it's stupid, it's not fair for the kids and I mean if some people don't want to participate, then don't participate, but they shouldn't take it away from all the kids," said Lori. [ Zippers]

Will Rogers Quotes

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

1415 King Henry V & 6,000 Brits rout 25,000 Surrender Monkeys at Agincourt; battle, allegedly, gives birth to one finger salute.

1854 The Light Brigade makes its legendary charge at Battle of Balaklava.

1881 Wyatt Earp & his pals shoot it out with the Clantons at the OK Corral.

1912 Country music icon, Minnie Pearl born, first word is "How-dy".

1923 20 years, to the day, after U.S. Senate begins investigating the Teapot Dome scandals, a Senate committee publishes the first report on its findings.

1955 Cooking goes high tech when Tappan sells the 1st microwave oven.

1960 Big Apple is the site for the 1st electronic wrist watch's gala debut.

1962 Uncle Sam's Adlai Stevenson gets off best zinger ever uttered at U.N., tells Ruskie Ambassador, "I am prepared to wait for my answer until hell freezes over."

1964 Minnesota Viking defensive lineman, Jim Marshall, scoops up a loose ball, lumbers 66 yards down the field into the end zone, the wrong end zone, scoring a safety for the other team. D'oh!

1968 The Windy City honors Jean Baptieste Pointe de Sable as its earliest settler, fast tracks his voter registration to allow him to vote in forthcoming election with all the other room temperature patriots.

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those thart merit this odiferous awad. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
Read More >>>


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PIG CALENDAR

October Is
Howl at the Moon Month

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Someone has to warn rational adults that Moonbats are in charge.
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• O-CRAP! •

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Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.
>>> Read More >>>

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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A BETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



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Copyright © 1993-2013: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.