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Sunday
January 25, 2015

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'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore & Any Kardashian caboose Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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TOP STORY
ON BEING AN AMERICAN
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The FSOP tries to answer the question: what does 'being an American' mean?

Apparently there is something different, something distinctive, about Americans that sets us apart from denizens of other nations. Something makes an American stand out in a crowd. Whatever it is, it's noticeable enough that it's a frequent topic of conversation. That's especially true, whenever we encounter individuals who hail from far off lands.

In such situations the same question arises. The actual wording can vary, but the essence of the inquiry is identical.

Here are two of the most common forms:

What does being an American mean?

What does being an American feel like?

Invariably, the questioners want to experience 'being an American' for themselves. I get that, and I'll try my best to address the 'feels like' aspect.

For me, being an American means choking up, each time I watch Lou Gehrig's farewell speech. Why? Ravaged by a disease so horrendous that they gave it his name, this son of immigrant parents stood there in Yankee Stadium declaring "I'm the luckiest man in the world." That's an AMERICAN.

For me, being an American means that special thrill I get when I hear the Gipper say "Mister Gorbachev! Tear down this wall."

For me, being an American means the sense of awe that overwhelms me, when I read Jefferson's soaring prose:

-We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,--That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
[Declaration of Independence]

For me, being an American is savoring the sweet crack of a bat made of ash hitting a baseball.

Obviously 'what being an American means', and 'what being an American feels like', are highly subjective. It has more than 319 million answers, a different answer for each American.

When we cut to the chase, the question evolves and gets to the heart of the matter:

What is an American?

What is an American? The answer to that depends on whom you ask:

Iran's ruling mullahs, ISIS, al Qaeda, the Islamic Brotherhood, and all their Jihadikaze home boys will tell you that an American is evil personified. They will insist that an American is a demon who inhabits the Great Satan, their term for the United States of America.

Messiah Al's Greeniac disciples will tell you that an American is a carbon-spewing, energy swilling junkie who is callously destroying Mother Earth.

Reverend Al and all his race rioting retards will insist being American is a code word for a cross burning racist whose wardrobe has expanded beyond the iconic sheet and hood. They will say that being American means a singleminded determination to re-enslave the properly-hyphenated in general, and the Melanin-Enriched in particular.

Emperor Barry the Chummer and his Marxist cohorts will tell you that an American is a capitalist exploiter who is enslaving the underclasses.

What is an American? What indeed. Before we can get a meaningful answer to that question, we need to seek the answer to another, equally important, question: What is it that defines a national identity like "Italian", "Canadian", or "American"?

Ethnicity: Many national identities (Japanese, for example) are based, in part, on a shared ethnicity. That's a viable standard, but it won't work for America, because Americans can, and do, come from any/every ethic group. There is no ethnic/racial litmus test that will exclude someone from becoming an American.

Culture: Another common criteria for a national identity is a shared culture that stretches back centuries or millennia. That won't work for Americans who have a propensity for remaking their culture on the fly. Americans, routinely, borrow elements from other cultures, especially when it comes to foods, fashions and terminology.

Geography: Being an American isn't tied to a certain portion of the North American continent. It's not the land itself that makes someone an American. An American is an American, no matter where he, she, heshe or it lives.

Longevity: In some instances, a national identity is based on how long a group of people have lived in a certain place. Excluding Siberian-Americans, those most commonly identified as Americans have only been living in the New World for about 400 years.

Obviously the usual traits that define a national identity don't seem to apply to 'American'. The 'American' identity isn't limited by ethnicity, culture, geography and longevity. We need to dig deeper for the answer to this question.

What is an American? It's not the vile things that our critics claim and it defies the conventional criteria for a national identity. The essence of being an American was shaped by this land, but not defined by it. The essence of being an American was, and is, enriched by the many ethnicities that inhabit this land conceived in liberty but isn't limited to any one of them. The essence of being an American is demonstrated by, not defined by, American culture.

What is an American? Generous to a fault, an American is the best, truest friend you'll ever have. But, when provoked, an American is also your worst nightmare. You don't want to go there.

An American is someone who welcomes a challenge. When someone says "It's never been done", an American will respond, "Yet". When someone says "It can't be done", an American will respond, "We'll see."

An American seeks "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" without Nanny State interference. Welcoming the knowledge gained by making mistakes, failing, an American will tell the Nanny State, "Take your social safety net and stick it!"

What is an American? It's a individual who accepts full responsibility for their own action. It means taking credit for the good and accepting blame for the bad and the ugly in their life.

The traits that define an American aren't anything tangible. Being an American is an attitude, a singular mindset, that we carry inside each and every one of us who are proud to state "I'm an American". The central fact about Americans is that their national identity was created, from scratch, by those rugged individuals who made their home here.

We are, as the open borders crowd insists, a nation of immigrants. Each new wave of immigration has put its own mark on the American character, redefining what it means to be an American, in the process.

The first immigration wave to the New World was undertaken at least 10,000 years ago, in the waning days of an ice age. Leaving the world they knew, those original immigrants - those individuals I call Siberian-Americans - gazed upon the land bridge spanning the Bering Straits and boldly began a long journey into the unknown. They were the embodiment of that classic human trait that makes us seek the answer to the question: "I wonder where that leads?" They started out on a dangerous journey into unknown territory to face its dangers head-on. Why did they risk it? Because it's a primal human impulse to find out what's around that next turn in the road, beyond that hill on the horizon, or across that dangerous stretch of ocean.

The next wave of immigration began, when determined individuals in Europe started out on their own dangerous journey in boats that were barely up to the challenge of a notoriously unforgiving stretch of ocean. They landed on the new world and began to populate its eastern shores with men and women who dared to dream of a bold, untried form of government. Many of those who started that journey never lived to finish it. Some of those who completed that dangerous passage, didn't survive the rigors that the New World imposed on them. Those who emerged from that trial by an unflinching Mother Nature laid the ground work for that singular individual we call an American.

Americans are, by nature, innovators, risk takers. An American is an individual who wants to test, his, her, hisher or its personal limits. An American wants to see how far, how high, their intellect, talent and hard work can take them. One utterly American element of this is the businesses that began their lives in a family garage. For example, Apple, now an 8,000 pound technology gorilla, began its life in the Jobs' family garage.

That seems to explain why people around the world spend years jumping through bureaucratic hoops, and surmounting countless hurdles for the right to become an American. Many of them understand what it really means to be an American better than most native born Americans. In many cases, these newest Americans put us to shame with their classically American work ethic, their determination to build their lives from scratch, and make their mark on the world, without Nanny State assistance.

There's a lot we can learn from these legal immigrants who work so hard to enter America through the front door. They have much more to offer than exotic foods, fashion trends and new terminology. They are a badly needed lesson, a warning, that we are allowing the Nanny State and its damn social safety net to strip all the real meaning from American's national identity.

It's my considered opinion that too many native born Americans have lost their way. The Nanny State's siren song of artificial rights and safety nets that 'spare' us the essential, character building, life lessons is destroying us. Those life lessons, those blows, that the Nanny State absorbs, are vital when it comes to forging the American character. We have become fat, lazy and much too complacent, while the Nanny State chips away at our birthright of inalienable individual liberty. We are, in short, our own worst enemy when it comes to the erosion of that rugged individualism that is the solid foundation which gives being an American its unique meaning.

We've lost our way, but the situation isn't hopeless. Many - perhaps most - of America's legal, front door, immigrants harken back to the essence of what it means to be an American. They don't want a handout. They don't want a safety net. All they want is their chance to become that self-reliant, that self-made individual, an American.

What is an American? If you still don't know, ask any legal immigrant. Ask any of those determined individuals who walk that long, torturous, path that ends at a ceremony where they are sworn in as a certified American. Ask those eager immigrants who dip their toe into those teeming capitalist waters with that donut shop, convenience store, dry cleaners or gas station. Ask that endlessly patient individual who is on that years long waiting list, ready, willing and eager for permission to realize that dream of becoming an American.

What is an American?

An American is a dreamer.

An American is an innovator.

Most of all, an American is an arrogant, swaggering pain in the butt, who dares to tell the rest of the world: "I'm living proof that there's a better way."


• PIG's Weekly News Digest
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of the week's events.
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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

Hand Job

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WORD OF THE DAY

INFLATE GATE, n.

Not to be confused with deflated footballs in a NFL playoff game, it's the secret plan to widen the Red Shed's main gate because neither Michelle's butt, or Barry's ego fit though it comfortably.

"Our media is all segmented now so that instead of just watching three stations, we got 600. And everything is market-segmented, and you got the conservative station and the liberal stations. So everybody is only listening to what they already agree with."
– Barry

Am I the only one who doesn't give a rat's ass about inflate gate?

Food Nazi

[Yahoo] After an elementary-school substitute teacher reprimanded a mother and father (a doctor) for packing their daughter a lunch with chocolate and marshmallows, the school has reportedly offered an apology for overstepping its boundaries.

The shaming note, handwritten on orange paper, was sent home on Tuesday with Justin Puckett's daughter Alia, a student at Kirksville Primary School in Missouri. It read as follows:

"Dr. and Mrs. Puckett,

The cafeteria reported to me that Alia's lunch today included 4 chocolate bars, a bag of marshmallows, Ritz crackers and a pickle. Please see that she packs a proper lunch tomorrow."

The letter also had a space titled "Parent signature requested" on which Puckett wrote "Request denied."

On Tuesday, Puckett uploaded a photo of the note to Facebook with the caption: "Big brother……….At least get your facts straight before intruding. I was aware of her lunch contents. Four pieces of ham, low fat string cheese, pickles, 4 marshmallows, and a small piece of dark chocolate (she did have 2 extra pieces, one for her brother and another for a friend who we know well and her parents are ok with this). There were no crackers. Sure, I'd liked her to pack a few more veggies and maybe a piece of fruit, but we compromise on pickles occasionally. How would you respond to this note?"

Yahoo Parenting could not reach Puckett, the medical director of the Complete Family Medicine clinic in Kirksville, Missouri, for comment. But he told Australian news station ABC3 that not only did the letter's judgmental tone imply that he and his wife Kylene's parenting skills weren't up to par, it was inaccurate. "Unfortunately, the letter didn't have what she had correctly. She had four pieces of ham, a whole protein meat, she also had some pickles, which we admittedly cheat on pickles every once and awhile as a vegetable, because some fights just aren't worth having," he said, adding, "She also had four marshmallows in a Ziploc bag and then she had three very small pieces of chocolate, of which she ate one for lunch and then she also gave her brother and another friend one at an after school program.

Lib Tolerance

[LI] California's seven Supreme Court judges have voted unanimously to prohibit state judges from holding membership in the Boy Scouts of America; the ruling is based on the grounds that the Scouts discriminate against gays.

California is one of several states that has rules on the books banning judges from holding memberships in groups that discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation; the court, however, also carved out an exception for non-profit youth groups, including the Boy Scouts.

Everything changed, however, when an ethics advisory committee recommended the ban last year.

The San Francisco Gate has the history:

California has been among 23 states with an ethical code that prohibits judges from belonging to organizations that discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. But the state's Supreme Court in 1996 approved an exemption, unique to California, for "nonprofit youth organizations" to accommodate judges affiliated with the Boy Scouts.

The Bar Association of San Francisco and other legal organizations sought to repeal that exemption in 2003. The court refused, and instead instructed judges to disclose connections to the Boy Scouts when they heard cases involving gay rights and related issues, and to disqualify themselves for any conflicts of interest.

At the time, the Scouts also barred gay youths as members, a policy the U.S. Supreme Court had upheld in 2000. The organization repealed that ban at a national meeting in May 2013, effective the following January, but maintained the prohibition on gay and lesbian youth leaders.

"The people of California have a right to an impartial and unbiased judiciary," Richard Fybel, a state appeals court justice in Santa Ana and chairman of the high court's ethics advisory committee, said Friday. "This is important to accomplishing that."

The ethics committee offered its recommendation in February of last year, but the Supreme Court elected to hold off on making its final decision on the matter until two Brown-appointed judges took the bench this year.

Judges have until January 21 of next year to dump their membership; if they don't they could face removal from the bench.

Will we see a challenge to this rule? My guess is yes; we'll keep you posted on what happens next.

Wisdom

The tribal wisdom of the Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that; "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, best strategy is to dismount.

However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

And of course....

13 Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

If you don't understand this theory, you haven't lived long enough.



1955 Columbia University scientists create atomic clock that's accurate to 1 second each 300 years. Joy turns to "damn it" when some killjoy brings up Daylight Saving Time.

1956 When 38" of rain falls in Kilauea Plantation (Hawaii), the Tennessee twerp changes his name to Noah Gore & begins some serious Ark shopping.

1971 A murdering animal named Charles Manson & the three female alleged humans who did his evil bidding are convicted for the Tate-LaBianca murders.

1994 Noseless warbler, Mikey Jackson, eludes justice, buys his way out of a nasty civil suit by paying off a 13 year old boy he's accused of molesting.

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
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INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those thart merit this odiferous awad. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
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PIG CALENDAR

January Is
Wishful Thinking Month

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All that optimism will vanish, when you remember HE is still POTUS
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• O-CRAP! •

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Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.
>>> Read More >>>

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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A BETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2015 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2013: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.