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KULTURE
| PIG'S GIRLIE MAN OF THE WEEK
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Date Awarded: September 05, 2008 Girlieman: (Ex) Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Kwame Kilpatrick played the race card, the Mecca Maniac card, and all the other cards at his disposal from the bottom of the deck. When he got caught red-handed, he tried to cover his tracks, by diverting attention and lying under oath. He blamed anyone, everyone, for his problems, but never had the stones to point the accusing finger at the person responsible, the asshat in the mirror. Finally, despite all of Kwame’s antics, the dominos started to fall. In addition to staring at hard time for the 8 felony counts laid at his doorstep, Kwame was days away from having Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm exercise a power given her in the state’s constitution and kick him out of office. Unwilling to face that - no appeal allowed - gubernatorial decision, Kwame accused her of bias and tried to get some Ethnocrat in judges robes to save his sorry ass. It was a longshot and destined to fail. Finally, after accusing the city council, the governor, and - probably - bug-eyed interstellar racists for his problems, Kwame ran out of options. He was dragged screaming and kicking to the bar of justice. Still unrepentant, Kwame entered an insincere ‘guilty’ plea on two counts of obstruction of justice. The good news is that his guilty plea comes at a price: loss of his law license, loss of his job, four months in the slammer, five years on probation, he agreed not to run for elected office for five years. The bad news is that despite his plea, Kwame still won’t accept responsibility for his actions, by admitting the full extent of his guilt. The only reason he admitted anything is because he ran out of time, and guilt avoiding options. Kwame Kilpatrick is more then a dirty politician who abused his power. He’s a craven coward and that’s why he’s the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Albert Richardson Wanting to make the streets safer, and easier to police, a Brit Elected Tormentor, Albert Richardson, was downright eager to install CCTV cameras on his home, political turf: ‘...[W]hen the new cameras were announced, Coun Richardson told The Evening Post: "I live right in the middle of St Matthew's ward so I welcome this. It is sad to say it because no-one likes being spied on by these cameras, but when I think of the vulnerable people who live in St Matthew's ward, I do think this is needed." (Lancaster Evening Post) After ‘lengthy public consultations’, the locations for the cameras were determined. As the system was deployed, everyone was fat, dumb and happy, including Albert Richardson. Albert’s enthusiasm for CCTV cameras in St. Matthew’s ward changed dramatically, the moment that a CCTV was deployed near his home on Ribbeton Avenue. Now that one of those badly needed cameras is watching Albert’s abode, he has rolled up the ‘welcome’ mat and started singing a much different tune.. ‘...Coun Richardson backed the cameras when they were set up almost 18 months ago – but is now fuming as one has been erected close to his front door. He said: "I didn't expect one to go up where it has gone up. There are people watching me coming and going outside my house. I am not too pleased about it at all so I'm letting my trees grow."...’ (Evening Post) CCTV cameras that watch the ‘public’ are a necessary law enforcement tool. BUT, the same CCTV cameras are an ‘invasion of privacy’ when they’re watching Albert. Welcome to the wonderful world of ‘you made this hell, so it’s only fair that you burn in it’, Albert. As thrilling as that must be for you, it gets better. Albert Richardson, this is a very special day, because you’re the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Mexifornia’s Action Hero Governor In 2003, The Terminator deposed Mexifornia Governor Gray Davis by invoking a no-nonsense, fiscal discipline, based on his success in the business world. The two issues that landed Davis in hot, taxpayer, water were both spending related. He kicked a special car tax into high gear, and, he was rubber stamping the legislature’s runaway spending spree. Arnold did repeal the car tax, but his performance on the spending spree front is pathetic. The Terminator repeated his fiscal conservative whopper, in 2006, when he ran for a full term, accusing the Demoncrat dominated legislature of making the taxpayer foot the bill for Elected Tormentor spending calamities. His winning moves, in the final days of the campaign, involved painting a tax-bonkers, spend-a-holic bull’s-eye on his Demoncrat opponent. Immediately after the election, he was full of himself, and it, when he swore he’d put Mexifornia’s fiscal house on a solid, stay within your means, footing with spending cuts. It all sounded good, but it was, as we all know by now, utter and complete bull shit. This week, with the state sinking beneath a 20 billion dollar budget deficit tidal wave, he jettisoned all that ‘the legislature needs to learn financial discipline’ window dressing. After making a few, final, meaningless, noises about imposing budgetary discipline, Arnold decided to right those old profligate spending wrongs with - TA DA - an increase in the USA’s highest state sales tax. The governor, who came to Sacramento promising never to raise taxes, now wants to raise the sales tax temporarily. If Republicans agree, he said, they would get, in return, Democratic support for future spending restraints. "I think the sweet spot is a sales tax increase," Schwarzenegger said in the interview, "with the Democrats compromising on the budget reform in such a way that we have a real spending limit here. . . . Not everyone sees it that way. That's what I see." (L.A. Times) In other words, instead of kicking ass and taking names, this gutless wonder will, once again, play Charlie Brown to the legislature’s Lucy. He’ll run, he’ll try to kick the football, and they’ll yank it out at the last minute, by taking the new money and running up even more red ink, via lavish spending programs. Arnold is like your dad who gives you grief every time you squander your allowance money, then, with a guilty grin, he digs into your mom’s purse, hands you a couple twenties and says, ‘don’t tell your mother’. The legislature has blown through every penny that hit the state’s coffers, borrowed against the future, and blew through that, too. If Arnold had a full set of nads, he’d fess up to Mexifornia citizens and admit that he’s too gutless to crack down on spending. He needs to find the stones to tell Mexifornia citizens that the only way to raise Mexifornia’s financial ship starts by booting the Marxist Elected Tormentor asshats out of office. Arnold needs to admit that he broke all his promises and then apologize for his pathetic performance as Governor of Mexifornia. Since he’s a steaming political turd of the first order, he’s hasn’t got the guts. For lying to Mexifornia taxpayers, repeatedly, and never admitting it...for talking tough, then going girlie when the pressure was on...for off the charts hypocrisy, Arnold Schwarzeneger is, once again, the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Detective Constable Matt Grant We’ve all heard about those disapproving badge packers, who go girlie and gooey, when faced with a citizen who showed some spine during a crime. Aside from a rare - invariably rural - law enforcement official, who has no problem with a citizen kicking desperado ass, this ‘just let them have their way’ phenomenon is, unhappily, standard operating procedure. When our true crime drama begins, Detective Constable Matt Grant was not on the scene. The only citizens on the scene at 8:30pm on that Monday evening in Christchurch (New Zealand) were a Chinese dairy story owner and his wife. That changed, in a heartbeat, when a pair of crazed desperados raced into the store. Without saying a word, a desperado armed with a large knife, ran at the store owner, Nike, slashing at him with it. There’s no telling what might have happened, after the out of control punk backed Nike against a cigarette rack and slashed dangerously close to his throat. That’s when the store owner’s wife handed him the only weapon at hand, an air pistol. Nike got off a 5 or 6 shot volley, that sent the punks on their way, carrying off an essentially empty cash register. Nike is a hero, but Detective Constable Matt Grant is not the least bit happy with Nike’s life-saving exploits: "I don't want other people to think it's okay to do what this gentleman has done. Certainly we discourage what he's done. We encourage a practice of compliance and for people in that situation just to get the offenders out of the shop as soon as possible without any damage or harm to anyone." (Detective Constable Matt Grant) This badge packing gutless wonder has impounded the air gun and is mulling pressing charges against Nike for defending himself! Born without balls, Matt Grant thinks it’s better to let some desperado bastard carve you up than defended yourself. You’re craven coward Matt and need to turn in your badge and go looking for a set of balls. We’ll send you off on that quest for manhood, by naming you the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: John Edwards He’s a United States senator. He thinks he’s got the right stuff to be commander-in-chief. He’s so full of himself that he used his wife’s battle with cancer as part of his quest for the Oval Office. When he was trampled on the campaign trail by the Messiah Barry juggernaut, John Edwards fussed with his Breck punk tresses and tried to land a spot as Messiah Barry’s running mate. He is, in short, an ambulance chasing piece of political punk crap who is a legend in his own mind. John’s quest for political fame and glory hit a sizeable speed bump, this week, when a strike team from the National Enquirer staged an ambush at the Beverly Hilton hotel in Mexifornia. The National Enquirer shares all the spiffy details. * At 9:45 p.m., Johnny boy is spotted entering the hotel. He avoids the lobby, goes down side stairs then emerges on the bottom floor. From there, he takes the elevator up to the floor, where his lover, Rielle Hunter, had reserved two rooms. * Later, the Enquirer strike team spotted Johnny boy and Rielle leaving the hotel briefly, after which they returned to her room, together. * At 2:40 a.m., the Enquirer strike team spotted Johnny boy trying to leave the hotel, unseen, after spending some quality time, alone, with Rielle in her room. That’s when the fun hit high gear: ‘...when he emerged alone from an elevator into the hotel basement he was greeted by several reporters from the NATIONAL ENQUIRER. Senior NATIONAL ENQUIRER Reporter Alexander Hitchen asked Edwards why he was visiting Rielle and whether he was ready to confirm that he was the father of her baby. Shocked to see a reporter, and without saying anything, Edwards ran up the stairs leading from the hotel basement to the lobby. But, spotting a photographer, he doubled back into the basement. As he emerged from the stairwell, reporter Butterfield questioned him about his hookup with Rielle. Edwards did not answer and then ran into a nearby restroom. He stayed inside for about 15 minutes, refusing to answer questions from the NATIONAL ENQUIRER about what he was doing in the hotel. A group of hotel security men eventually escorted him from the men's room, while preventing the NATIONAL ENQUIRER reporters from following him out of the hotel. Said reporter Hitchen: "After we confronted him about seeing Rielle, Edwards looked like a deer caught in headlights!...’ (National Enquirer) We always knew that Johnny boy was scum, but we always qualified it with modifiers like ‘shyster’, ‘parasite coddling’ or ‘class warrior’. Obviously, we underestimated Johnny boy. While his wife is fighting cancer, Johnny boy is cheating on her with a woman who bears a disturbing resemblance to Prince Chuck’s horse-faced bride, Camilla. That’s low, even hypocritical, but it’s only moderately girlie. What sealed the deal on this award is running from the reporters, then hiding from them in the men’s room. His ultimate crime against manhood is lacking the nads to face the music, publically, by admitting his peccadillos. You’re a gutless wonder Johnny boy and that’s why you’re the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Terry Childs Last week, we hailed this Blight on the Bay computer wrangler as a hero for bringing the city to its knees: ‘...[Terry] tampered with the city's new FiberWAN (Wide Area Network), where records such as officials' e-mails, city payroll files, confidential law enforcement documents and jail inmates' bookings are stored. Childs created a password that granted him exclusive access to the system, authorities said. He initially gave pass codes to police, but they didn't work. When pressed, Childs refused to divulge the real code even when threatened with arrest, they said...’ (San Francisco Chronicle) In addition to freezing everyone out of the system and making it impossible to regain control, Terry Childs had an ace up his sleeve. If the city didn’t deal with him ‘fairly’, certain key records would be lost unless he did something to stop it. Terry tweaked the system to put key programs in temporary memory files that would vanish if the system were shut down for routine maintenance or was dumped by a power outage. Since the system contains payroll and critical law enforcement documents, the resulting loss would be catastrophic. Terry had them by the short and curlies, but he let them off the hook, when Mayor Gavin Newsom paid a secret visit to Terry’s cell in the middle of the night. During that visit, Terry turned gutless and girlie and surrendered the critical password without a fight. He had them in a corner and time was on his side, then he let them off the hook. Worst of all, he did it for NOTHING, since the justice system turned down his bid for making bail. You had their cyber nuts in a wringer and you let them go, dude. That’s why you tumbled all the way from PIG Hero to the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Bradley LaShawn Fowler He’s alienated from, disowned by, his family, but it’s not his fault. He’s been in the slammer, but that’s probably not his fault, either. He has been subjected to verbal abuse, discrimination, episodes of hate and physical violence, but that’s not his fault, either. For years, decades, through no fault of his own, he has been besieged by physical discomfort, and "periods of demoralization, chaos and bewilderment". Bradley is a basket case, but it’s not his fault. You’ll be thrilled to learn that Bradley has finally, after decades of ‘why are they picking on me’ misery, identified his tormentors. Admittedly, whining is Bradley’s best move, but he, temporarily, rented a testicle and, suitably infused with testosterone, has taken his tormentors to court. Who are his tormentors? Thomas Nelson Publishing and another publisher named Zondervan. Who are they? They are major Cross Cult publishers and their sin against Bradley is publishing Tome versions that refer to homosexuality as a sin. That’s right, PIGsters. Bradley is a GLAAD BAAG, who found Old Ka-Boom - it happened while Bradley was in the slammer - then got majorly bummed about what Old Ka-Boom has to say about bun rangers. Unable to sue Old Ka-Boom, and painfully aware that the committees who translate Tome scripture don’t have a pot to piss in, Bradley went after the only set of deep pockets available, the firms that publish the Tome. It’s called killing the messenger. It’s also called blaming somebody else because you don’t have the stones to look in the mirror and accept full, and complete, responsibility for your own actions. It’s not the Tome, Bradley. It’s not Corinthians 6:9 (no matter how you translate it), Bradley. It’s not the publishers who served up the message. It’s you, and you alone, Bradley. It’s also you, and you alone, who made Bradley "The Whining GLAAD BAAG" Fowler the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Bonus fact: Bradley is an Obamaton who publishes a blog - a steaming pile of self-pitying bull crap - on Messiah Barry’s campaign website. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: S. F. Mayor Gavin Newsome When the Blight by the Bay’s coddling of border jumping scumbag drug dealers exploded into the news cycle, the bovine excrement hit the fan with a resounding SPLAT. Apparently, nobody in positions of authority saw anything wrong with giving Honduran drug dealers red carpet, juvenile offender, treatment. In fact, with a ‘wink-wink’, ‘nudge-nudge’, the proper authorities aren’t too fussy about checking the ‘real’ age of these ‘youthful’ offenders. Determined to keep these drug dealers off Uncle Sam’s border jumper radar, the city’s juvenile probation department, headed by William Siffermann, would, at the taxpayers’ expense, have a probation officer fly the ‘youthful’ offender back to Honduras. Once there, the drug punk was free and clear, with no immigration track record, and thus free to return to the Blight by the Bay, America’s most slappably smug sanctuary city. After the feds busted one of those city-paid drug punk escorts in Mexas, in May, the city switched gears. Instead of flying the drug punks home, they exported them to group homes in far off San Bernardino County. That seemed like a viable solution, until news broke that 8 of these drug punks walked away from the group home and one of them was bagged, again, in the Blight by the Bay. The timing of this public relations nightmare was especially thrilling for Frisco’s mayor, Gavin Newsome, since it reached critical mass at the exact time when he was ramping up his bid for Governor of Mexifornia. His first instinct, fearless leader that he is, was to DUCK:
Sensing that might not be working, Gavin, took his gutless antics to the next level with ‘finger-pointing’:
Nice try, but no cigar, dude. The Tuesday press conference had barely concluded, when the blowback kicked into a much higher gear. By Wednesday, Gavin was in full retreat and pretending to have a spine:
Still trying to find someone to fall on a sword for the greater glory of Gutless Gavin, Newsome, seemed to paint a ‘take one for the Mayor’ bull’s-eye on his minion, William Siffermann:
We’re not shedding any tears over the way Gutless Gavin is twisting in the wind. He’s scum and that’s a fact, but we do have some glass half full news that might perk up Gutless Gavin: he’s the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Frankemuth (Michigan) is a town with a rich, well known, proudly proclaimed, religious history. Founded by Lutheran missionaries, it was, from the start, a town dedicated to preserving Lutheran traditions. Over the years, that resolve has held steadfast, making Frankenmuth’s population one of the highest concentrations of Lutherans in the Midwest. Thanks to a newcomer to town, Lloyd Clarke, Frankenmuth’s Lutheran traditions are under assault. A long term denizen of Michigan, this 66-year-old whiner moved from Bay City to be closer to family members who live in, and around, Frankenmuth. At first, everything was spiffy for Lloyd, until, one ignoble day, he roused himself from his ‘can’t we all get along’ coma then started going to war over all the crosses that are prominently displayed on ‘public’ land. One day, Lloyd noticed the crosses on bridge in town. Lloyd worried that some heretofore content Jews, Mecca Maniacs, or other non Cross Cultists, might get a boo-boo from them. Given ‘no choice’, this peace puke, former Green Party state senate candidate, caterwauled until the city removed the crosses from that bridge. Just getting started, this cretin painted his differently-religious bull’s-eye on the cross in a city park and the one on the city seal. That’s why, tired of Lloyd’s crap, rank and file Frankenmuth citizens exercised their right to free speech and excoriated Lloyd for being a complete and utter asshat about Frankenmuth’s supernaturalist roots. After the heat became intolerable, he started to whine about being picked on by his neighbors. When even the tykes started blistering his sorry, whiner, butt, Lloyd bailed out of his quest to make Frankenmuth ‘safe’ for the differently-religious. Frankenmuth has been doing just fine, without Lloyd, since the mid 1800s. It didn't start spouting crosses just to piss him off. If crosses piss him off, that's his personal problem, not the town's. This pagan scribbler thinks Lloyd needs to get over himself, and it, or get out of Dodge. He's the kind of scumbag who gives the differently-religious a bad name. It's time for him to shut up and sit down. For giving a hornets’ nest a swift kick, then complaining, when he got stung by outraged true believer wasps...for being a whining piece of crap...for picking an unnecessary fight and lacking the spine to see it through to the end, Lloyd Clarke is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Messiah Barry O’Dumbo The cornerstone of Messiah Barry’s candidacy is his need to prove that you can fool enough of the people enough of the time. His most fervent "hope" is that his mind-numbed Obamatons won’t "change" their perspective by trading in their rose-colored glasses for some reality goggles. Messiah Barry’s entire candidacy is a sham and a quest to promote ‘style’ over ‘substance’. It’s working, most of the time, as long as Messiah Barry is spouting somebody else’s inspiring words from a carefully rehearsed script. The problem arises, when Messiah Barry is allowed to spout his own drivel, without a script or a rehearsal. An off-the-cuff Messiah Barry is a non-stop gaff machine. That’s why he went gutless and girlie, after Juan "Do you want salsa with that citizenship, Chico" McCain challenged Barry to 10 "just me, you and American citizens" town hall debates. Answering unscreened questions from REAL citizens? It’s Messiah Barry’s worst nightmare. He fled the idea like it’s tainted with Ebola. Messiah Barry is a fraud, a gutless fraud, who wants to hide the fact that he’s utterly and completely unsuited for that big chair behind the desk in the Oval Office. That’s why he’s doing everything in his power to restrict the scope of the debate on his qualifications. While his campaign seeks to muzzle the unscripted Messiah Barry, other Obamatons are making pre-emptive strikes via a "Stop the Smears" Jihad. The list of items that YOU can’t say, because Messiah Barry can’t handle it, grows longer each day. For fleeing a series of open, unscripted, town hall meetings with those rank and file Americans...for whining every time a rational adult points out how utterly unqualified Messiah Barry is for the job he seeks...for caterwauling when cautious chad punchers, quite rightly, question the company that Messiah Barry has been keeping...for cringing behind his empty, well rehearsed, rhetoric...for his inability to be a MAN in any sense of that word, Messiah Barry O’Dumbo is the repeat winner of the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Parting shot: We think Juan McCain needs to make this his new campaign slogan. "If the Oval Office chair don’t fit, reject the elephant-eared twit." Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Barry "The Barometer" O'Dumbo The nicest thing that we can say about a President Messiah Barry is that his foot-in-mouth antics are the best political comedy routine since Spiro Agnew and Dan Quayle left the political stage. A President Messiah Barry would be endlessly entertaining that way, until his incessant flip-flopping got us all killed. This week, Barry's political weather report was another thriller. On Wednesday, Barry put on his 'staunch supporter of Israel' facade when he visited the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC). This dose of Barry bloviating drew a standing ovation from those attending the AIPAC confab:
Barry played up his staunch friend of Israel prose to maximum effect for his slavishly-devoted MSM bootlickers and they ate it up. That fawning, bless us Messiah Barry, News Nitwit hot air didn't escape the notice of the Jihadikazes, whose reaction was swift and far from complimentary. Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, an allegedly 'moderate' Islamikaze, didn't waste any time bitch-slapping Messiah Barry:
Faster than a speeding bullet, Messiah Barry jettisoned 'staunch friend of Israel' and channeled his inner Hussein, with a spectacular 180, the very next day, on CNN:
For making Jihad Jimmy look like Israel's new best friend...for making John Kerry seem like a man of unshakeable conviction...for making Neville Chamberlain seem like a pillar of tyranny rejecting strength...for raising talking out of both sides of his mouth to an art form, Messiah Barry "The Barometer" O'Dumbo is the Politically Incorrect Gazette's Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Doug Delong In theory, as principal of Cardon High School (Ohio), Doug Delong should serve as an example for the inmates of his government cess-school. He should be willing to show them that, sometimes, rules must be bent, even broken, due to unforeseen circumstances. This week, Doug had a chance to show his captive audience that he had the nads to do the right thing, no matter what the rules specified. Instead, Doug gave them a close look at craven cowardice. Ironically, two of Doug’s students, a pair of seniors named Will McDonnell and Tony Workman, the young men who shined a spotlight on Doug’s gutless wonder antics, are shining examples of courage. Will McDonnell, having fulfilled his graduation requirements early in the school year, joined the United States Marines and has already completed his boot camp. Tony Workman, a proud member of the Army National Guard, completed the U.S. Army’s 10-week long basic training, last Summer. Both young men should be honored for their decision to defend our nation and its liberty. Proud of their service to this country, these young warriors made a simple request. They wanted to forego the cap and gown and receive their high school diploma decked out in their uniforms. At first, that seemed to be an acceptable arrangement, until Doug the Slug went furtive and girlie. If he allowed this exception to the no, cap, no gown, no diploma rule, Doug whined that other ‘organizations’ would demand equal time. What a load of bull crap! Instead, Doug agreed to let the young men strut their uniformed stuff by leading the Honor Guard before the graduation ceremony. But, when it came time to go up on the stage for their diploma, the young warriors must wear their cap and gown. Unlike Doug the Slug, Marines don’t surrender and neither does he United States Army. The two young warriors have made their decision. They will wear the uniforms throughout the ceremony and stand proudly, at attention, when their names are called, without going up on the stage. It’s an honorable decision and we all salute them for it. Doug the Slug is a whining, rules obsessed, weasel who fails to see any distinction between the armed forces of the United States and a 4-H Club. For that...for taking a dump on two patriotic young warriors...for being a gutless guttersnipe who hides behind ‘the rules’...for being unworthy to spit-shine the boots of these young warriors, Doug ‘The Slug’ Delong is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Congressman Steve Kagen Even the Clown Posse on Capitol Hill know that gas prices have skyrocketed into the stratosphere and show no sign of coming down anytime soon. Some of the underlying factors - the increasing demand for energy from growing economic powerhouses like India and China - are beyond little Stevie’s control. He might be a legend in his own mind, but nobody in China or India gives a rat’s butt what he says or does. Other underlying factors fall squarely on the stooped shoulders of Stevie and his Clown Posse cohorts. I refer, as if you can’t guess, to the many roadblocks that Stevie and his cohorts erected to prevent America from taking simple, no brainer, steps to resolve its unmet energy needs. These steps would include freeing known petroleum reserves in Colorado, the Dakotas, Alaska, and offshore for production. These steps would also include opening the path for more nuclear fueled power plants, a move that would reduce our need for oil, considerably. In addition to keeping our proven oil reserves off line, Stevie and his big spending homeboys have made a bad situation much, much, worse by putting the dollar into freefall. Since oil is priced in dollars, prices are driven up every time the dollar hits a new low. This week, ignoring those clucking, ‘public policy’ chickens that are coming home to roost at every gas pump in this great nation, Stevie went gutless and girlie and decided to take his whining to the next level. How? Stevie perpetrated some legicrap that allows the United States Justice Department to - TA DA - SUE OPEC for limiting oil supplies. If anyone needs to be sued for limiting supply it’s Stevie and the other 323 gutless wonders who voted for this stinker. For failing to man up and admit his on-going complicity in keeping America dependent on foreign oil...for lacking the stones to shore up the U.S. dollar by cutting spending and imposing sound fiscal policy...for looking for a scapegoat instead of viable solutions...for exacerbating the problem through his craven cowardice and steadfast refusal to admit his role in this energy price debacle, Congressman Steve Kagen is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Parting shot: Granted, it took 324 pinheads to pass this stinker, but Stevie is the gutless wonder who sponsored the damn thing. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Barack O’Dumbo It’s accurate to state that the Free State of PIG is not Vicente W. Bush’s biggest fan. That hasn’t changed, when we’re dealing with domestic policy. On the other hand, when it comes to his role as Commander in Chief, we give GWB much higher marks. Our confidence in him was justified, this week, when he let it all hang out while addressing the Israeli parliament:
He nailed this one and that’s a fact that wasn’t lost on his Israeli audience. There are, as expected, some who took the president’s prose very hard, a fact that, finally, brings us to our Girlieman of the Week, Barack O’Dumbo.
Did president Bush come close to naming O’Dumbo? Nope. Did he allude, in any way, shape or form, to O’Dumbo? Nope. Was there the slightest implication that he was talking about O’Dumbo? Nope? So why is O’Dumbo acting so defensive? Why did O’Dumbo, automatically, assume that president Bush had just pinned an ‘appeaser’ label on him? Why is O’Dumbo trying to deafen us with his incessant caterwauling? I’m smelling a classic case of ‘if the truth hurts, WHINE ABOUT IT’. Despite his convenient memory, he’s still the man who stated, on the record, in a televised debate, that he would meet, with no prior conditions, with America’s sworn enemies. O’Dumbo’s response in the debate means he would, unquestioningly give legitimacy to America hating scumbags like Mahmoud al-Gilligan, Kim Jong-Il, Castro the Sequel, Hugo "Skipper" Chavez and, presumably, Osama himself. That sounds like appeasement to us, how about you? For being a guilt-ridden, caterwauling cretin who hasn’t got the guts to own up to his prior statements...for whining about a perceived ‘attack’ where none exists...for being a gutless wonder whose instinctive response to anything is whining, Barack Hussein "Uncle Jemima" O’Dumbo is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Ahmed Rehab An Islamikaze named Ahmed Rehab - he’s the top Jihadikaze at the Windy City infestation of CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations) - is outraged by what just happened. He’s mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. If you missed the news, here are the essentials: a cadre of Illinois justice system officials, the Illinois Law Enforcement Alarm System (ILEAS), just resolved a very dangerous hostage situation. Apparently, some hostage-taking Jihadikazes barricaded themselves in a Hillsboro (Illinois) mosque and refused to cooperate. Eventually, the ILEAS forces stormed the building, prompting the intransigent Jihadikazes to release some nerve gas. After subduing the Jihadikazes, the ILEAS men released a hostage who was wired with explosives. What’s that? You haven’t heard this story and can’t find it anywhere in cyberspace? Cool your jets, shocked and dismayed Sparky, it’s only a training exercise. Training exercise or not, Ahmed his hopping mad:
The wrong message about Islam? Yeah, right. Wake up and smell the religion of peace coffee, Ahmed. No doubt, in your world, it was a wild-eyed Quaker who murdered filmmaker Theo van Gogh. In your alternative reality, it was rage-a-holic Methodists who hounded Ayaan Hirsi Ali with death threats when she dared to speak the truth about Islam during her stay in the United States. In the Twilight Zone where you live, it was rampaging Baptists who captured and beheaded Daniel Pearl. In your fevered brain, it’s enraged Unitarians who want to murder those Danish cartoonists. It can’t be one of your American Islamikaze asshats; who murdered his daughters in Mexas to preserve the family’s honor. Perish the thought! If a simple police exercise is all it takes to ruin Ahmed’s whole day, he’s too damn pathetic for words. For lacking the nads to face up to the dark side of his supernaturalism...for going gutless and girlie instead of owning up to, and trying to resolve, the dangers posed by Jihadikazes who are hiding within America’s peace-venerating Islamikazes...for being a caterwauling cretin who wants to blame anyone, everyone, for Mecca Mania’s inherent, liberty-nuking nature, Ahmed Rehab is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Ohio State Rep. Matt Barrett The rubber hit the road for this Buckeye State Elected Tormentor last October, while he was addressing a civics class at Norwalk High School. In theory, Meathead Matt was teaching the cess-school inmates how a bill becomes a law. To make his point crystal clear, he inserted a memory stick into the computer to bring up a pertinent image. That’s when his lecture hit a speed bump:
Determined to bury the incident, Meathead Matt - a Demoncrat, by the way - told House Minority Leader Joyce Beatty a whopper, blaming the incident on Meathead Matt’s teenage son. In the fullness of time, that sealed Meathead Matt’s fate because House Minority Leader Beatty repeated the baseless accusation against the teenage Barrett lad to the media. With that out of the way, Meathead Matt thought he had dodged potentially fatal, career ending, bullet by pointing the finger of blame at his son. I’m pleased to report that those pesky chickens came home to roost this week. Citing the lies Meathead Matt told her during the internal investigation, House Minority Leader, Beatty asked him to resign. Out of a job, and suitably disgraced, Meathead Matt might be the star attraction when he faces criminal charges stemming from this otherwise forgettable incident. What criminal charges? Did you pull a Meathead Matt and forget about that investigation that this blustering fool requested? We don’t know what the cops found on Meathead Matt’s laptop or that infamous memory stick, but it was enough to torpedo his political career. All the relevant justice system officials are willing to say about their findings is that, it’s legal fodder, but does not rise to the level of a felony. Felony, schmelony. All that matters is that it terminated this gutless guttersnipe’s political career. Meathead Matt is scum. He blamed his kid for something the kid didn’t do. He tried to save his political hide by throwing his son under the bus. We’re pleased as punch that it all blew up in Meathead Matt’s face. Determined to pile on, in our own humble way, the Politically Incorrect Gazette has named Meathead Matt Barrett Girlieman of the Week. [PIG thanks PIGster King for giving us a heads-up on this weasel.] Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon Lost somewhere in the long shadow cast by Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Apraio, is Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon. Mayor Phil is not amused by Sheriff Joe, Sheriff Joe’s notoriety, or anything else about PIG’s favorite lawman. In fact, Mayor Phil is determined to paint a justice system bull’s-eye on Sheriff Joe because Joe Arpaio is, systematically, cleaning out those known havens where border jumping scumbags lurk:
Sheriff Joe’s raids must be working, because he’s pissing off all those notorious Colonista coddling groups. At the same time, he’s getting covering fire from the U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement officials who, coincidentally, were on hand when Sheriff Joe’s deputies arrested residents and immigrants in the town of Guadalupe. Their approval stands in stark contrast to Mayor Phil’s whine to the U. S. Department of Justice:
Sheriff Joe is almost as unimpressed with this spineless political hack guttersnipe as we are, here in the Free State of PIG:
If Mayor Phil thinks Sheriff Joe is exceeding his authority, why doesn’t he attack him directly? Why doesn’t he use the local justice system to hang this stinker on Sheriff Joe? Why? Because Mayor Phil Gordon is a craven coward who hasn’t got the guts to fight his own battles. For lacking the BALLS to be a MAN about his battle with Sheriff Joe, Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Jay Leno Some of you - you know who you are - probably think that this award, should go to the bun-ranger, openly gay writer Jeff Whitty, who happened to be in Jay’s audience. I get that, but he was already ‘girlie’, and thus unqualified for this PIGish abuse. Jay Leno, on the other hand, is - or was - certifiably MALE and thus suitable for the forthcoming bitch-slap. This panty-twisting foolishness reached critical mass during the Tonight Show, while Jay was interviewing a thespian named Ryan Phillippe:
Politically Incorrect? Yup. Roll in the aisle funny? Not really. A nifty boob tube moment? Yup. A full frontal assault on bun rangers that merits an apology? Not no, but hell no. Unhappily, little Jeffrey and his wadded panties carried the day. After he whined on his blog, little Jeffrey got support from GLAAD which caterwauled:
A MAN, one with all the regulation gear, would shrug it off. A PIGster would chide "Grow a pair and get over it." Our very own Hambo would give these whining asshats a one-finger salute and bellow "BITE ME". Jay beat a hasty retreat and apologized. Jay is one of our favorites here in the Free State of PIG, but he stepped in it by apologizing. That’s why he’s the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Barack "Uncle Jemima" O’Dumbo Your eyes are not deceiving you, Sparky, and this isn’t a re-run of last week’s Girlieman Award. We’ve had repeat winners, in bygone days, and we’ve been known to hold someone over for a second week in the PIGish bull’s-eye. But, as far as we can tell, this is the first time when one individual was named two weeks in a row for (slightly) different reasons. Yes, O’Dumbo is still being bitch-slapped for whining piteously. However...After the way O’Dumbo just took his caterwauling to record-setting, mind-numbing levels, we are compelled to make him our Girlieman for the second consecutive week. This week, during his long-winded, self-serving, inescapable whine about racism, he sank to new depths. In the process, O’Dumbo demonstrated his utter and complete unsuitability for the office he seems destined to win. To win that coveted Oval Office prize, he threw his grandmother under the bus by, tacitly, calling her a racist. According to one columnist, Barack changed the story, making her alleged racism more egregious, during his speech, a fact that flies in the face of the story he told about his grandmother in a book about him. In the tome, he reported that she was ‘afraid of a certain black man who had physically accosted her’. In his speech, Barack vilified granny by making it sound like she got the ‘there’s a black man’ shakes when she simply passed a Melanin-Enriched male on the street. Barack, you rat bastard, that’s no way to thank a woman who worked her fingers to the bone to get you were you are today. Far from finished, O’Dumbo threw his pastor, Jeremiah Wright, under the bus. He threw whitey under the bus. He even threw his Melanin-Enriched home boys and girls under the bus. By the time he finished with his bloviating, Barack O’Dumbo had sent out the word, far and wide: "Everyone, from sea to shining sea is a racist, except me. Vote early, vote often, vote O’Dumbo." For boldly, publically, proving how egregiously we underestimated him, last week...for showing the world how utterly and completely spineless he is...for his smugly self-righteous race pandering, this putrid pile of political punk crap, Barack "Uncle Jemima" O’Dumbo, is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week, for the second week in a row. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Barack O’Dumbo Somebody needs to bitch-slap some sense into Barack O’Dumbo. Somebody needs to sit him down and explain that the job he’s trying to get is "Commander-In-Chief", not "Whiner-In-Chief". That last damn thing we need in the Oval Office is a cringing cretin with his finger on the nuclear button, who starts blubbering every damn time somebody frowns at him. Here are a few of his outbursts:
Let’s get real. O’Dumbo’s middle name is "Hussein". O’Dumbo did look asinine in that Uncle Jemima rig. Calyspo Louie, a racist, did endorse him. Some of O’Dumbo’s Windy City chums are deep-pocketed scumbags. The Jihadikazes know that Barack hasn’t got the spine to wage a war on terror, or anything else. Finally, O’Dumbo might be a spellbinder when it comes to his empty prose, but his front-runner status is due to the fact that he’s Melanin-Enriched. This last fact means the Korrectnik News Nitwits are afraid to challenge him on his policies. It also means that guilt-ridden lefty oppressors will vote for him, and so will the teeming, steeped in victimhood, Melanin-Enriched masses. For his relentless caterwauling...for lacking the nads to man up and realize that politics is a blood sport...for getting on my last raw nerve, Barack Hussein "Uncle Jemima" O’Dumbo is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Messiah Al Gore Despite a spate of recent reports that put his Global Warming Gospel into question, Messiah Al Gore has been curiously silent. Somehow, he has managed to tune out reports such as this one from the Daily Tech blog:
Admittedly, one harsh winter does not an ice age make. I get that, but after the way Messiah Al deliberately lied about the ‘established Global Warming science’, you’d think that he’d have the stones to man up and face these reports, personally, publically. He made this ‘the sky is falling' bed with his award-winning whopperthon. Now, when some hard science - those pesky facts - tell a somewhat different story, Messiah Al is cowering in the Fat Cave. Since he’s lost his voice...since he’s hiding from the truth...since he’s refusing to act like a man about these new inconvenient truths...Messiah Al Gore is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Rolando Rodriquez If you have any doubts that Mecca Maniacs are egregiously humor-challenged, get over it. If you’re hanging tough, consider the plight of a Wal-Mark cash register wrangler in Wal-Mart’s Riverdale (Utah) outpost of capitalism. The frivolity began when a Mecca Maniac (alleged) female showed up wearing ‘a full face veil’. Channeling that inner PIGster that lurks in everyone, the clerk joked "Please don’t stick me up." Silly? Yup. Inkorrect? You bet? Offensive? Not really, but those punks at CAIR were shocked, dismayed and outraged:
For lacking a sense of humor...for letting the CAIR punks advance their Jihadikaze agenda at America’s expense...for being a gutless guttersnipe of the most noxious sort, a nadless, punk named Rolando Rodriquez is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Beserkeley Mayor Tom Bates As much as I hate the crap that Beserkeley’s peace punk lefties are perpetrating on our brave men and women in uniform, there’s something I hate even more. What is it? A weasel who takes a strong stand, climbs out on that limb and bellows to the world that "I’m a peacepunk asshat" then scurries for cover when that bull crap flies back to smack him on the face. Welcome to the yellow-bellied scumbag world infested by a reeking piece of peace punk crap, Beserkeley Mayor Tom Bates. He was full of himself and ‘it’ when the Beserekely City Council voted to fire off a letter to the U.S. Marines telling them that, among other things, they were unwanted, unwelcome, intruders in Beserkeley. He had no problem at all with giving the Code Pink peace skanks a parking place in front of the U.S. Marine recruiting station on Shattuck Avenue. He had no qualms at all about having Beserkeley cops stand around and do nothing while the putrid Code Pink cunts staged protests at the recruiting station. He had no problem with any of it, until the bull shit hit the damn fan: * Spearheaded by Senator Jim DeMint, 6 United States senators ginned up a painful response that would, if enacted, snuff out $2.3 million in federal funding headed Beserkeley’s way. Instead of paying for schools, water ferries and police communications gear, the funds would be sent to the United States Marine Corps. * Closer to home, Mexifornia Assemblyman, Guy Houston, has his own idea for some coffers nuking payback. "What we're doing is we're announcing a bill that we intend to get on the floor to strip transportation from the city of Berkeley. What they have done in Berkeley is they have set aside a parking spot and in my opinion a public right of way, a public transportation corridor, specifically for a private organization -- in this case Code Pink -- to harass and annoy the United States Marine Corps and their recruiting efforts. We think that playing around and having an agenda with the public right of way is subject to ramifications. There is $2.3 million in proposition 1B transportation dollars. We think that should be in jeopardy." Did this threat - a toothless one, given certain legislative realities at the state and national level - find its mark? You be the judge:
This turd pretending to be human is beneath contempt. As much as I hate this retired U.S. Army captain’s peace punk antics, I would give him a pass, if he had some nads about it. I would hate his actions, but grudgingly give him credit for being a man by taking a tough stand and sticking to it. That takes a regulation set of nads, something this asshole lacks. He goes gutless and furtive at the first sign of trouble, no matter how unlikely it is to hit home. For lacking the balls to stay the course...for piling on against his brothers and sisters in uniform because the howling peace puke mob made him wet himself...for being a stinking stain on humanity’s skivvies, Beserkeley Mayor Tom Bates is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Caltrans Punk Pedro Orso-Delgado Devoted PIG News readers will remember our recent item about the San Diego Minutemen chapter joining the state’s "Adopt-A- Highway" program. You'll recall that Adopt-A-Highway is a program which lets a group become responsible for picking up litter along a given stretch of highway, in exchange for signs saluting their public spirit. When the San Diego Minutemen volunteered, a thorough investigation showed that they passed muster on the prevailing criteria which ban entities that advocate violence, violation of the law, or discrimination based upon race, religion, color, national origin, ancestry" and other factors. With that out of the way, they were granted their stretch of highway to keep clean. The fun hit high gear when the San Diego Minutemen were allowed to adopt the two miles of Interstate 5 that includes the U. S. Border Patrol Checkpoint near San Clemente. I’m guessing that the blowback on that luck of the draw was memorable, because this Caltrans punk, district director Pedro Orso-Delgado, has blinked. Citing "a significant safety risk", Pedro the punk has yanked the San Diego Minutemen off that the border jumper superhighway:
Gutless to the core, Pedro the punk has, temporarily, given the San Diego Minutemen another - much less controversial - stretch of highway, State Route 52 in San Diego. That could end aburptly, if the Colonistas who have custody of Pedro’s nads can give him some reality-challenged dirt on the San Diego Minutemen. That’s a virtual done deal, unfortunately. For being such an obvious Colonista toady...for being a gutless wonder who makes Neville Chamberlain seem like a tower of strength, Pedro "The Punk" Orso-Delgado is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. [PIG thanks Gunny Jeff for giving us a head's up on this one.] Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Barry "Mr. Steroid" Bonds Porcus’ favorite steroid punk, Barry Bonds, is doing what comes naturally, by trying to dodge any accountability for his own actions. Having eluded a MLB slapdown, and ducked any meaningful retribution for his steroid punk antics, Barry tripped over his tongue while testifying before a federal grand jury in December 2003. As a result, the feds are trying to bag, tag, and shag Barry on perjury charges. Will Barry finally man up and take responsibility for his own actions? You know better, tragically deluded Sparky. Barry is doing his usual tap dance around the truth, trying for a ‘missed me again’ trifecta. How, you ask, is Barry trying to duck this one? He’s claiming that the charges against him are much too vague. The feds are deliberately trying to confuse poor Barry with these vague charges, making it next to impossible for him to keep his lies straight:
For lacking the spine to be a man...for being an utter and complete weasel...for his unrelenting caterwauling...for his ongoing failure to take any responsibility for his own action...for all these and numerous other reasons, Barry "Why Does Porcus Hate Me?" Bonds is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: President George W. Bush W started his trip to the Middle East by stabbing our most steadfast ally in the region - Israel - in the back with a ‘peace plan’ that makes their survival as a nation a longshot. Doing everything in his power to appease the unappeasable Jihadikaze asshats who call themselves ‘Palestinians’, Bush II insisted that Israel commit national suicide by returning to those indefensible pre 1967 borders. With his legacy on the fast track, he went to visit the Sandbox Punks who have, somehow, seized control of the presidential nads. Ignoring the fact that the Sandbox is a prime mover in this world-spanning Jihadikaze assault on liberty, W humiliated himself, and this nation, by begging the Saudis to lower the price of oil. His plea was, reportedly, a waste of breath, but it didn’t need to be. Did he use the $20 billion dollar arms deal that he carried with him as a bargaining chip? Nope. Did he tell them that a refusal to lower oil prices would bring a renewed effort in the USA to develop all of its proven domestic reserves? Nope. Did he promise to fast track American energy independence to make Saudi oil expendable? Nope. Did he do one damn thing to let those Saudi rat bastards know that Uncle Sam was fed up with their bull crap? Nope. All W did on his Middle Eastern trip was to grovel, repeatedly, at the feet of the scumbags who are doing their best to destroy this nation conceived in liberty. That’s why W is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Steve Orchard A Brit whiner, named Steve Orchard, got his panties in a wad over some politically-incorrect humor that was posted in a monthly publication named "Inside Time". The feature that helped launch this asshat involved some people writing into the publication to trade, jokes, concerns and stories, such as these: The list of jokes included: "Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 per cent. It's called a wedding cake." And "Why do men die before their wives? They want to." (Daily Mail) That’s all it took to put Stevie in a korrectnik snit: ‘...[Stevie is] a head of operations at the Prison Service, was not amused - and he instructed Inside Time not to trade such "sexist" jokes again. In a letter to the magazine's editors, the official, who works at Nottingham Prison, said he is not "fanatically 'PC' or lacking a sense of humour," but the jokes go too far. Mr Orchard insisted that some of the examples of gender prejudice would not have been acceptable if their target had been people with disabilities or those from a black or ethnic minority background. He added: "Similarly, I do not think they were acceptable in that they tended to reinforce negative and inaccurate stereotypical perceptions of women as unintelligent, overly talkative, nagging, deceptive and inferior." That’s right, PIGsters, "Inside Times" is a publication that is perpetrated by guests of the Brit graybar system and Stevie thinks the biggest problem these inmates have in life is rampant "sexism". Steve, dude, I’d tell you to grow a pair but I don’t think you’ve got it in you. The most we can hope for is getting you to pull your head out of your butt and hope that some fresh air will return you to a mental state that approximates sanity. For obvious reasons, this alleged ‘male’ is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Year 2007 After looking through our Girliemen of the Week winners for 2007, I realized how hard it is to pick the most infamous panty-punk out of this collection of gutless wonders. San Francisco cabbie, Michael Byrne (July 27th), made the short list of finalists when he caterwauled that his assigned cabbie medallion - that devilish numerology, 666 - gave him an incurable boo-boo. James Gambino (May 18th) made the list by whining and carrying on that the Blue Parrot Restaurant’s (Louisville, Colorado) legendary Wopburger was an egregious insult to his Italian heritage. Dingy Harry Reid (October 19th) was on the list for a variety of reasons, the most noteworthy of which was getting a world-class punking at Rush Limbaugh’s hands. Senator Larry Craig (August 31st) was a contender for his inability to take the blame for his wide-stance actions, and take his ‘medicine’ like a man. Bob Fish (September 21), the quivering tower of jello who is chief executive for an up and coming coffee wrangling company with 77 franchises around the USA, was near the top of the short list. Although nobody lodged a complain about the firm's name, Bob achieved that lofty status when he changed the name of his company from ‘Beaners Coffee’ to ‘Biggby Coffee’, because 'Beaners Coffee' might offend some hypersensitive Sombrero Stomper. After giving it more thought than it deserves, I chose the following alleged man from the list, because his complaint was - still is - so utterly asinine, on every possible level: Girlieman of the Year: Michael McDermott According to a professional scumbag, a Mexifornia shyster named Michael McDermott, he gets a painful boo-boo every time he hears the name of a legendary all gal biker gang from the Blight on the Bay. In fact, he is so distressed by the name "Dykes on Bikes" that he perpetrated a two year long legal fight to get the U.S. Patent and Trademark office to change its mind about granting the motorcycle club exclusive rights to the name "Dykes on Bikes". When this federal cabal told Mikey to buzz off, Mikey took the matter to federal court. This week, a U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit slapped Mikey down, by telling him that ‘men have no legal base for being offended’ by the name "Dykes on Bikes". Thanks to that decision, Mikey will be forced to man up during the festivities he calls "the Annual Illegal San Francisco Dyke Hate Riot". He’ll need to man up and learn to live with a name that he considers "disparaging to men and is scandalous and immoral". If, as Mikey claims, ‘he and all men are subjected to criminal attacks and civil rights violations during the march’, maybe he should stop going to the damn thing. Finally, he needs to grow a pair and get over his obsession that the word "dyke" is infused with a "deep obsessive hatred of men and the male gender". Get over yourself, Mikey. The fact that this group calls themselves "Dykes on Bikes" has nothing, whatsoever to do with you. Look on the bright side, your whining about "Dykes on Bikes" made you the runaway winner of our Girlieman of the Week sweepstakes. As thrilling as that is, it gets better, Mikey. If you add this Girlieman of the Week (and Girlieman of the Year) award to your resume, "Dykes on Bikes" might let you march IN the parade, next year. [If, like King, you're wondering why Ayatollah Phil Burress didn't make the list of contenders, wonder no more. Ayatollah Phil was kicked up several notches. You'll find him enshrined where he really belongs, as our first, Steaming Load of the Year.] Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Domino’s Pizza Executive, Don Meij The fun started when some homegrown Aussie pizza wranglers, an outpost of pizza purveying capitalism called Eagle Boys, ratted out Domino’s Pizza for trimming the size of its pizzas without telling its customers. Determined to mine the pizza market gold in this dirty Domino’s Pizza secret, the folks at Eagle Boys made a spiffy YouTube video that is very damn clever. Based on a legendary NSW Roads and Traffic Authority television ad that has Aussie hotties mocking rampaging road warriors as ‘under endowed’ by wiggling their pinkies, the Eagle Pizza YouTube video shows a similar scene. The Domino’s delivery driver passes some Aussie hotties, slows down and tries to impress them. When he leaves, the hotties exchange looks, stare after the Domino’s delivery dude, then crook their little fingers in a way that means ‘small winkie’. The Eagle Boys hammered the message home with some telling ‘size matters’ prose. Very cool! It’s very funny stuff, but that humor is lost on Domino’s suit, Don Meij. After, grudgingly, admitting that the smaller pizza accusation is true, he whines that Domino’s is only following the lead of its competitor, Pizza Hut, which also started selling smaller pizzas. Far from finished, Donny boy whimpered that he might go shyster bonkers on the Eagle boys for maligning the manhood of the Domino’s Pizza delivery drivers.
If all else fails, Don might be forced to hold his breath until he turns blue. Whatever he does, he’s unlikely to grow a pair or develop a sense of humor about the Eagle Boys and their inspired slap at Domino’s. There’s one other thing he’s never going to do, live down the infamy that goes along with being named the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. [FYI: In addition to YouTube, this Eagle Boys video is also available on the Eagle Boys web site.] Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Montel Williams This legend in his own mind blundered into the headlines while he was in Georgia promoting free prescriptions for poor people. His header into well-deserved brickbats happened when he encountered a high school wenchlet named Courtney Scott, who is working as a high school intern for the Savannah Morning News. AP describes this close encounter with the bald asshat, this way: ‘...Williams, a patient advocate since being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, terminated the Friday interview with Scott after she asked him: "Do you think pharmaceutical companies would be discouraged from research and development if their profits were restricted?" Later, he confronted her and two other reporters after mistakenly believing they followed him to the Westin Savannah Harbor. But they were there to cover an unrelated assignment. Williams walked up to Scott and told her that "I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up," according to Joseph Cosey, a Web content producer for the newspaper...’ Understandably upset, the wenchlet filed a police report, a fun fact that made this Montel outburst a News Nitwit talking point from sea to shining sea. When the blowback reached memorable proportions, Montel apologized via e-mail, a very gutless response. When that earned him more blowback, he had his producer contact the wenchlet with an invitation to a taping of Montel’s television show. In theory, Montel will grow a pair in time for the show, so he can man up and issue a face to face apology. For going off on the wenchlet in the first place...for taking the coward’s way out and apologizing via e-mail...for being a gutless piece of legend in his own mind crap, Montel Williams is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: British Foreign Secretary David Milibrand "We are extremely disappointed that the charges were not dismissed." (Brit Foreign Secretary David Milibrand on Gillian Gibbons’ conviction, while a murderous Islamikaze mob rampages through the streets of Khartoum, demanding Gillian’s immediate execution.) I’m not sure what planet a 54 year old Brit woman named Gillian Gibbons has been visiting, but it’s the one that doesn’t get CNN, Fox News, or and other Earthly outpost of News Nitwitdom. For some inexplicable reason, she’s blissfully unaware that the Sudan is an Islamikaze infested postal code of the Twilight Zone that makes a day in hell seem like a church picnic. Gillian’s thrill ride began in August when she started teaching some of the 750 pupils who attend a private Sudanese school named Unity High School. In September, Gillian was preparing to teach a lesson on animals, so she had one of her 7-year-old pupils bring in a teddy bear. The first order of business was to name it, which the students did, choosing the name Muhammad. Next, Gillian allowed each pupil to take the bear home with them so they could write a diary entry about it. The lesson concluded when Gillian had all the diary entries compiled in a single book bearing the title "My Name is Muhammad" The fat fell into the inferno when a woman working for the school ratted Gillian out and accused her of - TA DA - denigrating the Mecca Maniac prophet. In a heartbeat Gillian was arrested, tried and convicted. Initially she was looking at a stretch in a Sudanese graybar and a whipping. Later, after outrage from the civilized world reached critical mass, the sentence was reduced to 15 days in the slammer, no whipping and deportation. A whipping for naming a teddy bear ‘Muhammad’ is barbaric and it should have elicited outrage in Britain, and it did, among Brit rational adults. At Number 10 Downing Street, and in the Brit Foreign Office, the reaction was much more muted. How muted? Muted enough to make the noises emitted by a man with laryngitis seem deafening. Hell, one of Gillian’s young students, a lad named ‘Muhammad’ showed more courage than the Brit Labour government, when he publically proclaimed that it was he, not Gillian, who named the bear ‘Muhammad’. Foreign Secretary David Milibrand’s response was so gutless and girlie he makes Jimmy "Jello Spine" Carter seem like one of the 300 Spartans. While the Muslim leaders inside Britain vilified the Sudanese government for their vile response to Gillian’s ‘crime’, Milibrand cowered under his desk, hoping it would all just go away some damn how. He hemmed. He hawed. He furrowed his brow. He considered saying "Tisk, tisk", but thought better of it and extolled the virtues of the peace-loving Islam instead. In other words, he let this pissant, pitiful excuse for a country get away with their Islamikaze assault on a British citizen. For pretending to be a man...for playing diplomatic word games while a pissant country is threatening to whip a middle aged Brit woman...for failing this gut check on every possible level...for lacking the nads to bitch slap the Sudanese Islamikazes...for being the biggest coward who ever stained humanities skivvies, Brit Foreign Minister David Milibrand is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. [PIG wants to thank Gunny Jeff for nominating this Milibrand piece of crap. Thanks for the tip, Marine.] Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Ken Williams AKA Don LaRose Until the mid 1970s, Don La Rose was a family man with a wife and two kids. A Cross Cult padre, Don was living an ordinary life until his happy existence hit a speed bump. Maybe it was due to Don’s fiery sermons, or maybe the dastardly devil had other plans for him, but for some reason Don La Rose went missing. By 1980, Don had changed his name to Ken Williams, and turned his back on his former identity, plus the loved ones who went with it. He was, he claimed, utterly unaware of his former life, until recently, when he was brought up to speed thanks to a truth serum injection. That’s when he remembered what happened that made him abandon his life, wife and kids. He was finally able to explain to his new wife and children why, and how, he stopped being a preacher in Indiana and started being the Mayor of Centerton, Arkansas. What, you ask, is this ‘it’ that transformed preacher Don into Mayor Ken? He was, he insists, abducted and brainwashed by a Satanic Cult. Allegedly ‘afraid’ for the safety of his former family, Don decided to save them by continuing his life as Ken.
I believe the ‘survival’ part. I might even go along with this memory loss bull crap. BUT, abducted by a Satanic Cult? I don’t think so, Tim. For lacking the guts to man up and admit what really happened...for lacking the courage to fight FOR his first wife and family...for perpetuating this asinine bull crap after he abandoned his church, wife and kids 3 decades ago, Ken "Don La Rose" Williams is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Governor Eliot Spitzer In the waning days of September, New York Governor, Eliot Spitzer, stepped in it when he strayed into well-charted, shark-infested, driver's licenses for border jumpers waters. From the instant he unveiled his scheme to give this essential form of identification to border jumpers, this pathetic piece of political crap got hammered by the public and members of both political clans. He endured the unrelenting pounding as long as he could, but when the polling results showed him sitting at a lowly 25% approval rating, he went girlie and furtive. A few weeks ago, unwilling to completely abandon his border jumper coddling, Spitzer scuttled his September plan and came up with something much more insane. It was a three-tiered driver's license monstrosity that had one license for American citizens, another for legal (green card, etc.) immigrants and a third for border jumpers. That, he assumed, would be hailed as a Solomon-class solution. Did everyone start building shrines to his glorious wisdom? Not exactly. The wheels started coming off the licenses for border jumpers bus after Comrade Hillary signaled her support in response to intense questioning by Tim Russert at a Demoncrat candidate debate. When, within minutes, Hillary started getting the same pounding that Spitzer was getting, the license's for border jumpers fat was in the fire, big damn time. In the days that followed, while Comrade Hillary spouted contradictory views on the issue, Spitzer started to 'get it'. We can't be sure if Comrade Hillary and her Clintonista minions assisted Spitzer in seeing the error of his ways, but that's one of the popular explanations. This week, for whatever reason - the untimely demise of his political career topping the list - Spitzer finally announced that he was dumping the whole driver's licenses for border jumpers idea like a bad habit. Unable to accept any blame for this steaming load of border jumper coddling crap, Spitzer reeled off a laundry list of culprits. Topping the list was Uncle Sam and the Elected Tormentors on Capitol Hill who couldn't ram through comprehensive immigration reform. Spitzer also blames "we the people", xenophobes that we are, who support the insane idea that immigrants should enter America through the front door. Why, he caterwauls, do proud American citizens go postal when some Elected Tormentor piece of crap paints a bull's-eye on American sovereignty? For being a gutless scumbag who can't admit that he made a mistake...for putting his own political career and Comrade Hillary's bid for the Oval Office ahead of what's good for his state's legal denizens...for blaming everyone else for his mistake...for being so gutless he makes Jimmy Carter seem like a tower of strength...for all these reasons and many more, New York's sorry excuse for a governor, Eliot Spitzer, is the Politically Incorrect Gazette's Girlieman of the Week. [Hambo note: Spitzer was on the fast track to a Steaming Load Award, until he went weasel at the end. I always knew he'd blame anyone and everyone but himself. He locked up Girlieman of the Week, when he scurried off to D.C. where he announced that he was dropping this driver's licenses for border jumpers bull crap. That reeked of girlieman, so here he is, a steaming load who earned Girlieman of the Week.] Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Vicente W. Bush Vicente W. Bush is full of hot air about his devotion to our men and women in uniform. He’s notorious for using America’s warriors as a back drop for his public appearances. He enjoys talking to them while the cameras are rolling and they’re cheering his hot air about his steadfast support for our armed forces. Where was all this ‘support for the troops’...where was Mister "I’m a decider" when those warriors who needed him most had one of America’s cherished military rituals flushed down he crapper? Nowhere. The bone of contention is a deeply moving fixture at a military funeral, the Flag Folding Ceremony:
Vicente W. Bush makes it a point to remind everyone that he’s the commander-in-chief of our armed forces, so where the hell was he when this decision came down from the National Cemetery Administration? Hiding under his desk in the Oval Office, apparently. For a man of conviction...for a man who wears his Christian beliefs like a badge of honor...for man whose entire term in office has put our military on the front burner, this is a no-brainer. A real man of honor, a true supporter of our troops, would bitch-slap these National Cemetery Administration asshats and tell them "not on my watch, Sparky". If a pagan like me sees the need for this Flag Folding Ceremony with its moving recitation, so should this cringing Oval Office cretin. For going gutless and furtive when faced with this insult to our fallen warriors, Vicente W. Bush is the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girlieman of the Week. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Senator Harry Reid Led by Harry Reid, 41 Demoncrat members of the United States Senate used comments that were twisted beyond recognition to attack a private citizen named Rush Limbaugh. Full of themselves, and assorted other noxious substances, these bloviating boneheads tried to use Nanny State coercion to silence Rush Limbaugh by applying pressure to his syndicator, Clear Channel. That, at least, was the intention of these gutless wonders who leave an intolerable stench on Capitol Hill. Craven cowards that they were in writing and sending this letter with its between the lines 'shut him up, or else' implications, these 41 Demoncrat cringers went blatantly girlie when Rush turned the tables on them with a world class punking. After getting the original letter bearing those incriminating signatures and written on Harry Reid's Senate Marority Leader stationary, Rush put the letter up for auction on eBay. Rush has promised to match the winning bid with cash out of his own pocket and donate ALL the proceeds of the auction to the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation, benefitting the education of children of deceased Marines and federal law enforcement personnel. When the punking Rush was giving these Demoncrat scumbags reached 7 figures, and the eBay sale was nearing its end, Harry Reid finally mentioned the letter sale. But, instead of admitting that Rush had nailed those 41 Demoncrat letter signers fair and square, Reid tried to take credit for the idea. In Dingy Harry Reid's version of reality, he dreamed up this whole auction idea and sold it to Clear Channel's CEO, Mark Mays. He's trying to rewrite history and it will probably work, since his blatant 'hint' will be scarfed up by the slavishly devoted News Nitwit toadies who have remained curiously silent about this punking. In his senate floor remarks, Reid managed to ignore the inconvenient truth that whatever is raised in the eBay sale will be MATCHED by Rush Limbaugh. Reid managed to ignore Rush's challenge to the 41 letter signers to match the final sale price out of their own pockets. For trying to use Nanny State intimidation to silence a private citizen exercising his free speech...for cowering under their desks when Rush turned the tables on them....for swallowing a $2,100,100 punking...for trying to take credit for the eBay sale when the punking got too big to ignore...for being a gutless wonder, on every possible level, Dingy Harry Reid is the Politically Incorrect Gazette's Girlieman of the Week. The Politically Incorrect Gazette salutes Rush Limbaugh for resetting the public humiliation bar into the stratosphere with the World's Greatest Punking. Rush, you are the man! Parting shot: The following Senatorial scumbags share this 'you've been punked' humiliation with Dingy Harrry Reid: Hillary Rodham Clinton, Blanche Lincoln, Richard Durbin, Kent Conrad, Bob Menendez, Charles Schumer, Christopher Dodd, Barbara Mikulski, Patty Murray, Byron Dorgan, Bill Nelson, Daniel Akaka, Dianne Feinstein, Barack Obama, Max Baucus, Tom Harkin, Jack Reed, Joseph Biden, Daniel Inouye, Jay Rockefeller, Barbara Boxer, Edward M. Kennedy, Ken Salazar, Sherrod Brown, John Kerry, Bernie Sanders, Robert Byrd, Amy Klobuchar, Debbie Stabenow, Benjamin Cardin, Mary Landrieu, Jon Tester, Tom Carper, Frank Lautenberg, Jim Webb Bob Casey, Patrick Leahy, Sheldon Whitehouse, Carl Levin, Ron Wyden. Girlieman of the Week Girlieman: Kevin Nadal Kevin’s life was destroye |
