KULTURE | KULTURE WATCH

Quite frankly, Twenty-First Century Amerikan Kulture puzzles us. The pathetic, mediocre and blandly Korrect dominate our Kultural fare, making non-entities like Michael Moore, Spike Lee, Al Franken, Paris Hilton, Adam Sandler, and Ellen DeGeneres Kultural Icons. Even 'real' people are elevated to Icon-for-a-Day status via alleged 'reality-based' programming. More than any other Kultural artifact, reality boob tube fare's continuing popularity proves how pathetic Amerikans are. Apparently, viewers prefer to obsess on quasi-fictionalized 'real life', instead of going out to create their own real life adventures. If this stuff is what passes for Amerikan Kulture, color us terminally confused.

We don't begrudge Ben Affleck, Aston Kutcher, Mike Meyers, J. Lo, Titney Spears or Jessica Simpson their success, nor do we vilify their popularity, but don't ask us to explain any of it. On this page, PIG bares its Kultural soul, because Kulturally speaking, we just don't get it.

Cashing In

PIG’s Race Hustlin' Brutha Who Ain’t Like No Otha, And A Helluva Motha, Al $harpton used a so-call memoriam for Prince to really use Prince’s death as a platform to call attention to yet another one of his personal crusades - A cop shooting a black thug.

Well, I suppose $harpton can never be accused of letting a golden opportunity for him to cash in on go to waste, but this is lower than low.

Personally profiting and pushing personal agendas at others’ tragedy is beyond words I choose to use on PIG’s family friendly website.

Want the real scoop on $harpton’s Poop? Click below:

>>> Charlatan $harpton At It Again >>>

http://www.americasfreedomfighters.com/2016/04/24/al-sharpton-sick-response-princes-death/

THIS JUST IN!!!  Transphile Bruce $pring$teen was caught ca$ing in on Prince’s death, too.

>>> Cashing In >>>

*Publisher’s Note: $harpton and $pringsteen sure would make P.T. Barnum proud.


Who is this dude?

You probably know hims by his 'stage' name: Iron Eyes Cody. His film credits are impressive:

[He] enjoyed a successful career portraying, pretty much exclusively, Native Americans. Good at his job, Cody appeared in over 200 films and TV shows and worked with some of the top names in Hollywood at the time including John Wayne (The Big Trail 1930), Joseph Cotton (The Great Sioux Massacre 1965), Steve McQueen (Nevada Smith 1966) and Richard Harris (A Man Called Horse 1970).

Holy type casting, Batman! Not so fast, boy blunder. It's time for a Paul Harvey Moment and, the rest of the story.

Known to many as the "Crying Indian," Oscar "Iron Eyes" Cody had a successful career portraying Native Americans in more than 200 films and countless television shows over his 64-year career, culminating in one of the most famous and successful ad campaigns of all time in which he was depicted as a Native American shedding a tear over the rampant littering problem in America. Ironically, however, Cody was actually the son of two Italian immigrants to the United States.

Born on April 3, 1904 as Espera Oscar de Corti, Cody's parents were both Sicilian immigrants (Antonio de Corti and wife, Francesca Salpietra). He grew up in Gueydan, Vermilion Parish, Louisiana, where his parents ran a grocery store.

Can it be true? You better believe it.

 

Here We Go, Again

"Hollywood is like the Rocky Mountains, the higher up you get the whiter it gets and this year's Academy Awards will be yet another Rocky Mountain Oscar."
-- Al Sharpton.

A friend called me, eager to discuss the year's Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences awards nominees - also known as the Academy Awards and/or Oscars. Once again, the usual, properly-hyphenated, suspects - Spike Lee, Jada Pinkett Smith, Snoop Dog, and Sharpton, to name a few - are upset over the whiteness, the lack of diversity, of this year's nominees.

My friend tried, and failed, to whip me into a lather over this Melanin-Enriched meltdown. I tried to explain, but he wasn't in a listening mood. Maybe I'll do better with you.

Point 1: Hollywood, on both sides of the camera, is demonstrably liberal, very liberal.

Point 2: The properly-hyphenated whiners are also demonstrably liberal, very liberal.

Point 3: This is no different than similar meltdowns in Ivory Towers from sea to shining sea. It's a battle between two Moonbat factions.

Point 4: When two groups of lefties battle each other, there's only one thing to do: break out the pop corn and an adult beverage; settle down in your favorite chair; enjoy the spectacle.

Point 5: By and large, especially recently, Oscar winning movies suck, if you're looking for an entertaining, or enlightening, flick. The movies I watch on DVD, or on the tube, would never make the Oscar nominee cut.

Point 6: If the 'underrepresented' whiners get properly diverse Oscar nominees and/or winners, Point 5 means I don't really give a crap.

Point 7: Affirmative Actioned Oscars would, over time, make the Oscar meaningless, since the choices would reflect political expediency, not cinematic quality.

Conclusion: The Oscars suck now, and properly diverse Oscars will take suckage off the scale.

That's Entertainment?

When I sent this image to Porcus I teased him with this Subject Line:

Something Uplifting For A Sunday Morning

He responded with this:

Questions:

#1: What kind of web sites do you visit?

#2: What did I do to deserve THAT so early?

#3: Is that Billy Ray's little ray of sunshine?

I answered:

1: I found it on a gossip site: The Superficial

2: Just dumb luck.

3: Yup.

I'm told, repeatedly, that Miley is an entertainer. She's a singer, they insist.

I'll take their word for it. I think she looks like a carnival sideshow hoochie slut.

I know this is supposed to be shocking and/or titillating. I'll take their word for it, because my initial reaction was laughter.

One giant step closer to porn slut? You better believe it, Sparky.

Fox Drops Bleep Bomb Twice In One Week

"Fair and Balanced" FOX News had to censor and suspend two of it's commentators twice in one week for profane comments made while slamming Obama's pathetic Oval Office speech.

The first casualty, PIG favorite, retired Lt. Col. and Fox News analyst Ralph Peters who called Obama:

"...a total pussy; it’s stunning…This is a president who restrains our military, he uses it not to defeat ISIS but for political purposes, for political cover…his is a president who cares more about thugs in Guantanamo, or thugs in Ferguson, Missouri, than he does about law-abiding American citizens and their right to live in safety and peace.”

Next on the chopping block and cutting room floor, Fox contributor Stacey Dash remarked:

“It’s ridiculous. His speech was an epic fail. It was like when you have to go to dinner with your parents, but you have a party to go to afterwards, that’s what it felt like. He was just trying to get through it so he could go to this event afterwards. I did not feel any better. I didn’t feel any passion from him. I felt like he could give a sh** — excuse me — like he could care less…today is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor; his speech should have had a lot more passion…where is Winston Churchill when we need him.”

>>> Suspended >>>

Censored? Suspended? Two weeks?!?

If Peter's and Dash said that on any TV show we ever (wish we) owned, we would give them 2 weeks, ALL EXPENSES PAID vacation for saying what we think.

Jenner Wins 'Woman' Of Year

Fatally bad driver and very confused former athlete, p-whipped husband and ex-dude Caitlyn (Bruce Was Here, Once) Jenner wins 'Woman Of The Year' from Glamour magazine for being "The Transgender Champion" and was praised for “teaching America what it means to live a courageous and authentic life."

How symbolic. How touching. How brave.

Actually, how f**king sick is that?

Glamour Magazine must have really lowered it's standards by even considering Jenner at all or, or even overlooking real women, like that mother in Baltimore who went wood shed on her son on live TV.

One man who has taken issue with Glamour's choice is widower James Smith, whose late wife Moira, a first responder on 9/11 and N.Y.P.D. officer who perished that day, was given the award posthumously in 2001 in recognition for her bravery and service to her country.

Upon hearing of She-Man Jenner winning the award, Smith was so insulted, he returned his late wife's award back to Glamour and said it best when he called this years award "a slap in the face"

“Was there no woman in America, or the rest of the world, more deserving than this man?”

Gender-Bending TV

When I switched on the boob tube, one infamous day, another nightmarish dose of insanity hit me, courtesy of that bastion of good taste and traditional family values: The Learning Channel. Typically, TLC's new show is another twisted tale which will thrill the snot out of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy:

I Am Jazz tells the story of Jazz Jennings, a transgender teen. Watch Jazz Jennings grow up before your very eyes on I Am Jazz on TLC Wednesday, July 15th at 10/9c. [TLC]

HeShe is 14 now and ready for hisher 15 minutes.

On one episode, heshe was whining because a guy she "liked" seemed unwilling to ask himher out on a date. Heshe couldn't understand it. Let me clear it up for you cupcake: he knows you're a guy.

Breaking News: TLC has ordered a second season of this tripe.

Dukes Flagged

If you seek something familiar on TV-Land, you might notice a change in their lineup:

The latest victim of the growing controversy over the Confederate flag is the 1980s TV series "The Dukes of Hazzard."

A TV Land spokesperson confirmed Tuesday that the network has pulled reruns of the series from its schedule, which had been airing twice a day.

The network declined to comment on why the episodes were removed, but the southern-set show has come under fire recently for its depiction of the Confederate flag, which is emblazoned on the hood of the Duke Boys' signature 1969 orange Dodge Charger.

Stupid? Very. A real pisser? That too. Life is but a dream? Perhaps, but in this dream the General Lee got black-flagged.

Agent X? Strange, And Then Some

TV show description:
After being sworn in as Vice President of the United States, widowed former law professor and Wisconsin Senator, Natalie "Nate" Maccabee (Sharon Stone), receives a gift from sitting President Thomas Eckhart (John Shea), himself a former VP. That gift — an ornate key bearing a Freemason insignia — is presented as a ceremonial key to the VP's official Naval Observatory residence.

Using the key, Maccabee uncovers a secret room, behind a fireplace which also bears the insignia. Her Chief Steward, Malcolm Millar (Gerald McRaney) congratulates Maccabee on breaking President Lyndon B. Johnson's record for uncovering the room. [n.b. In reality, Vice President Walter Mondale was the first VP to live in the official residence.]

Inside the room, Millar shows Maccabee the original U.S. Constitution — the only complete edition of the document. It alone contains Article II, Section 5, which grants the VP special, covert powers, and the use of a dedicated secret agent to deploy when the Republic is in dire peril.

The first secret agent to fulfill this role in spirit, was none other than patriot Nathan Hale. Hale's final words, "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country," are the credo of Agent John Case (Jeff Hephner), the secret agent at Maccabee's disposal. With a background in Special Ops and the CIA, Case is cool under pressure, and fully equipped to do the VP's bidding, on missions too confidential for the FBI and CIA.

Chief Justice Caleb Thorne (James Earl Jones), who swore-in Maccabee, is part of the government secret circle charged with upholding and protecting the entire U.S. Constitution, including the top secret Article II Section 5, which provides for the Agent X program. Thorne is a much needed ally to Maccabee, as she assumes her classified duties.

Less of an ally, opportunistic Speaker of the House, Miles Latham (Mike Colter), is in Maccabee's corner, when it suits him, and her adversary, when that better serves his aspirations and ambitions.

FBI Director Edwin Stanton (Jamey Sheridan), is a hard-nose law enforcement official and soft-hearted family man. When his daughter, Missy, is kidnapped, Maccabee learns on the job how to exercise her special powers and dispatches Case to the girl's rescue. [TVSeriesFinale]

Parting Words: WOW! This takes weird to a whole new level.

Magic Moments

Item I: I'm starting to think that the legally-mandated disclaimers for televised drug advertisements are the most entertaining fare on the boob tube. My lovely bride and I watched one recently that put us on the floor.

Allegedly a cure for depression - yes one of those - its side effects were strokes, losing your balance physically, losing your 'balance' psychologically ( they called it suicidal tendencies), and my personal favorite 'uncontrolled twitching, which, once started NEVER GOES AWAY'. WOW!!!

So I have my stroke, then I lose my balance, which puts me on the floor. As bad as that is, it gets worse, because my uncontrolled twitching, stops me from phoning for help. No wonder I'm suicidal. How, exactly, is all this added drama in my life going to cure my depression? Enquiring minds want to know.

Item II: I don't remember the name of the drug, but I do remember them saying it was good for depression and/or anxiety. I was doing my best to ignore the blather, until they got to the shyster spew.

The first item out of the box was a warning that this stuff might make you suicidal, which strikes me as a rather drastic cure for a case of the blues or jangled nerves. Moments later, the breathless announcer revealed that it might make you throw up, and it could also make you constipated. The kicker was that when you weren't heaving your last meal into the toilet, or straining to drop a load, you might fall down and pass out.

Let's review, shall we? Whatever you eat, that doesn't come back up, is never going to come out the other end. Also, whenever you're jumping up to go hurl, or lumbering in to sit on the crapper for another useless hour, you might end up out cold, on the floor. Given all that, it's no wonder this stuff makes you suicidal.

Who said boob tube advertisements can't be fun?

The Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse
Whether it’s a ‘entertainment’ report on the boob tube, the gossip column in your fishwrap, a ‘celebrity’ site in cyberspace, or that ‘stop the presses’ boob tube Sweeps teaser, PIG’s Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse are, like it or not, inescapable. Since you can’t avoid them, no matter how hard you try, we decided to bring you up to speed on their, uh, qualifications.

In order to make the cut as one of PIG’s Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse, the candidate must meet these standards:

• The candidate is, essentially, famous for being famous. If she ever had a meaningful career - LiLo, for example - the candidate’s ability, her moment in the spotlight, such as it was, is ancient history.

• The candidate’s life is a never ending stream of tabloid headlines.

• The candidate’s nads have seen more traffic than the Holland Tunnel.

Following a memorable melee which set off a tactical alert in the local police department, the battered, but annoyingly smug PIG Staff announced their Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse choices:

Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus

Parting shot: These selections are subject to change, should one or more of them fail one or more of the non-negotiable criteria. For now, we envision two likely scenarios for their expulsion from this pinnacle of bimbohood:

One of them takes a vow of chastity and moves into a convent.

A parting of the Red Sea class miracle happens and one of them develops a talent - why are you laughing - that does NOT involve them getting horizontal and squishy. I freely admit that this should disqualify LILo and Miley, so why are they still here? Notariety trumps talent.

GUILTY PLEASURES


Weirdly compelling boob tube shows that we don't brag about watching.

The Voice
Yes, I admit it. I occasionally watch it, Why?

Here are two compelling reasons.

Sumo Wrestling
The PIG staff wants to invoke a Nixon and make one thing perfectly clear. Sumo Wrestling is Hambo's guilty pleasure, not ours. All it takes to tame this Tasmanian Devil masquerading as our editor is two hippo-size Sushi Slammers in pastel diapers. The minute they start doing whatever the hell it is that they do, he's one very happy camper. The fact is that we don't "get" sumo and we never will, but if it gives us a break from Hambo's hammering, we're willing to fake it. As far as we can tell, Sumo is the only alleged sport we know where there are 953 different Japanese terms for: "one of the fat diaper dudes fell down".

Hambo is, we've decided, majorly twisted. In most jobs that would present a problem, but when it comes to being PIG's Executive Editor "majorly twisted" is an essential job qualification. Since we are not required to be "majorly twisted", the PIG staff wants it known that Hambo forced us to add this to the guilty pleasures list.

DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE !


Pesky, peevish, stuff that bugs us

Farewell Tours
In theory, there's nothing wrong with a singer - or a band - staging a farewell tour. This concept is cool, if, and only if, the performer(s) really mean it. The problem is, that all too often, they're already planning another "farewell tour" next year. How many times are we going to play this stupid game with people who promise to go away, but never really seem to 'get 'er done'? Enough is enough! If you're not leaving, then don't call it a farewell tour.

PIG thinks that farewell tour abusers should become fair game for anybody with a shootin' iron whenever a 'retired' alleged singer even thinks the word "comeback tour". Keeping that in mind, we nominate the following repeat offenders for an immediate farewell tour abuser bull's-eye: Cher; The Eagles; Barbara Streisand. Lock and load, PIGsters. This is not a drill.

Motormouth Shyster Spew
We’ve all endured those boring, snail’s pace boom box commercials where the announcer speaks so slowly he sounds like a retard. There's no way in hell that you'll miss a single word. In fact...if you're anything like me...you feel like reaching into that boom box, grabbing this slow-motion asshat by the throat and bellowing: "Enough already! Spit it out or shut the hell up!" As bad as this slower than molasses prose is, there's something infinitely worse.

The part that puts me on the ragged edge of going postal happens during the last few seconds of the pitch, when a warp speed word flogger jumps in to reel off a mega wad of legalese that would fill the Manhattan telephone book. I defy anyone to catch each and every syllable of this shyster-motivated spew. This pagan has an inflexible policy where such ads are concerned: never trust a company whose shyster-imposed product disclaimer is longer than the ‘meat’ of their advertisement. If a product pitch ends with a motormouth spew, avoid their product like it’s tainted with ebola. You heard it here, first.

 

Perpetrated By: Hambo

© Copyright 1993-2016 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette


 

"Beauty is only skin
deep, but ugly goes
clear to the bone."
BLOCK'S MURPHY'S LAWS

• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race



• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
Cry Bullies
Q. Tarantino
 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 

 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore
Counts As Two Votes.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
AND THE WINNER IS...
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
 
 
KULTURE CONTENTS
KULTURE
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
KULTURE NEWS
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
PIG GOES TO WAR
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
HEROES & HEROINES
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
ROGUES GALLERY
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

HALL OF FAME
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
HALL OF SHAME
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
AMERIKA'S LEAST
  WANTED
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
PIG PROPS &
  PORK CHOPS
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
GIRLIE - MAN AWARDS
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
STEAMING LOADS
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
SOUND BITES
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

KULTURE WATCH

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
CLASS ACTION
  CRAP-OLA

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
15 MINUTES
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
PIG ADVISE
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
LINKS / SITES
ACCURACY IN MEDIA
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
THE SUPERFICIAL
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
TMZ
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
TV GUIDE
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
IMDB
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
JUMP THE SHARK
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

• FRIENDS OF PIG •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
TEXAS FRED
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
KING'S RIGHT SITE
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
LOCK AND LOAD
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
WOODPILE REPORT
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
DRINK THIS
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
CULT OF 7G
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
ANTHONY'S SOAP BOX
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
KREEPER'S KORNER
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •