Tiny Temptress
Source: Fox [07/20/10]
A Bay State Badge Packer, Officer Richard P. Bennett, is a dude who is a sucker for life’s small pleasures. In this instance, the small pleasure is an adult porn star named Bridget Powers.
Everything was nominal, for 28 year old Richard, until he ran into a tricky scheduling problem. On a night when he was scheduled to protect and serve the public on his late night patrol, his small pleasure, Bridge "The Midget" Powers, was appearing at a local ‘gentleman’s club’. Faced with this pesky dilemma, he abandoned his patrol, so he could pay homage - in uniform - to the pint sized temptress who had him by the short and curly follicles.
He went. He saw. He enjoyed. He got caught. He lied during an internal investigation. He resigned, before they could fire him. That leaves us with the obvious question: was Bridget "The Midget" Powers worth it? It’s Enquiring minds time in the FSOP.
Petty Tyranny At NBC
Source: PIG News Wire [07/20/10]
If you think the Conan O’Brien/Jay Leno nastiness is ‘yesterday’s news’ at NBC, you’re tragically deluded. Still smarting from that public relations debacle, somebody at NBC is out for a measure of revenge:
(WIREUPDATE) — Former staff members of the "Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien" have been informed that their possible Emmy win will not be televised on primetime television.
Two weeks ago when the Emmy nominations were announced one of the most shocking announcements came in the "Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series" category. The now cancelled "Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien" was nominated in the category, while the same program with host Jay Leno was snubbed.
"Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien" writer Dean Cole tweeted the staff were informed their Emmy category won’t be televised during the primetime program. "NOT ‘NBC’ but the powers that be has sent us an email saying that the category we are nominated for will not be televised this year! really?"
Conan O’Brien’s final broadcast as "Tonight Show" host was on January 22, 2010.
Somewhere in the boob tube executive suites, a ‘suit’s’ Get Over It isn’t working.
Freedom of Speech Wins One
Source: PIG News Wire [07/16/10]
I’m thrilled to report that freedom of speech just won a round in court, when a federal appeals court bitch-slapped the censorship bonkers FCC. After weighing the evidence, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit in New York, declared the FCC’s indecency policy - the one that hammers broadcasters for ‘fleeting expletives’ on live broadcasts - ‘unconstitutionally vague’ because it ‘could create a chilling effect beyond "fleeting expletives" heard on broadcasts’ (CNBC).
An FCC representative could not immediately be reached for comment on the ruling. The court heard the case again after the U.S. Supreme Court sent it back following a previous ruling that the FCC indecency policy was "arbitrary and capricious."
"We now hold that the FCC's policy violates the First Amendment because it is unconstitutionally vague, creating a chilling effect that goes far beyond the fleeting expletives at issue here," the panel of appeals court judges said in a written ruling on Tuesday.
The court granted the broadcaster's request for review of the policy. (CNBC)
Liberty survives, barely, to fight another day.
TSA Asshats’ Rules of Engagement Trample on the Right to Free Speech
Source: Steaming Loads [07/09/10]
Determined to impose ‘order’ on their employees, the TSA’s Office of Information Technology fired off an e-mail to all TSA employees which spelled out the new rules of Internet access engagement. Henceforth, certain pitstops on the Information Superhighway would be off limits to TSA employees. What pitstops? What indeed.
I know what you’re thinking, and I wondered about THAT, too, but ironically ‘PORN’ isn’t on the list. Instead, the TSA’s byte monkeys painted a bureaucratic "inappropriate for government access" bull’s-eye on: chat/messaging; criminal activity; extreme violence, which includes cartoon violence and gruesome content; gaming. In addition to those categories, the TSA byte wranglers also black-flagged ‘controversial opinion’.
What, exactly is ‘controversial opinion’? The TSA byte wranglers didn’t specify and stone-walled anyone who dared to bring it up. Here in the FSOP, we’re willing to guess that ‘controversial opinion’ includes such inconvenient truths as:
* Our borders must be safeguarded.
* Border jumping scumbags must be rounded up, whenever possible, and SENT HOME.
* There’s nothing wrong with calling a spade a spade. It’s NOT man-caused disasters; it’s TERRORISM. They aren’t inexplicably cranky Islamikazes who just need a hug; they’re TERRORISTS.
* We may not be at war with Islam, but a large chunk of Islam is at war with us.
* Airport security should pay more attention to likely suspects - young Islamikaze MALES - and stop putting tykes on the no fly list.
Controversial opinion? I’m sure that’s the way TSA’s feckless leader, Janet Napolitano, sees it. For rational adults, this is another prime example of the Obama Regime’s pathological aversion to freedom of speech.
Update: Thanks to some memorable blowback, the TSA beat a hasty retreat from this "controversial opinion" hot potato. If you think Jihad Janet suddenly developed the warmies for freedom of speech, you’re delusional. The only reason she’s beating this hasty, public, retreat is that she got caught, and couldn’t muster a convincing defense for the indefensible. You know she really stepped in it, when both the VRWC and the ACLU are hammering her on this insanity.
The only cure for what ails the TSA is flushing Jihad Janet AND the rest of the Obamunist regime.
A PIG-Worthy Phrase
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [07/07/10]
I wish I’d created this one, because it’s so utterly PIG, in every way.
I heard it on my car radio and nearly drove off the road when a boom box babbler referred to Lindsey Lohan as a charter member of - TA DA - "The Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse". The Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unhappily, the boom box babbler didn’t identify the other members of this infamous quartet, so I’ll do my best to fill in the blanks.
Bimbo 1: Paris Hilton
Bimbo 2: Lindsey Lohan
Bimbo 3: Kim Kardashian
Bimbo 4: [I’m still mulling this one.]
Candidates for Bimbo 4 include, but are not limited to: Amy Winehouse, Twatney Spears, Lady Gaga, Jessica Simpleton, the entire female cast of Jersey Shore, any free-ranging skank - excluding their lawfully wedded spouse - who has gotten horizontal and squishy with Tony Villar, Jesse James, or Tiger Woods.
If you have any nominees of your own, let me know.
I didn’t invent ‘Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse’, but, since someone was careless enough to leave it unattended, I plan to run it into the ground.
A Compelling Twi-Tard Moment?
Source: PIG’s Golden Oinks [07/02/10]
[I won’t swear on a stack of pizza boxes that the heroine of our story is a Twi-Tard - Twi-Tard = ‘Twilight’ movies obsessed retard - but the idea is still in play, since the alleged human in this story is, TA DA, female.]
From our ‘that doesn’t even fly in the movies’ news pile, we bring you what promises to be a prime contender for excuse of the year.
This epic comes to us from Fruita, Colorado, where a woman managed to crash her SUV into a canal, while driving on an especially rustic stretch of road. While motoring along the dirt road, our motorist was - she insists - gobsmacked when a - I am not making this up - VAMPIRE materialized in the middle of the road. This supernatural road hog terrified the woman, who tried to escape, by throwing her SUV into reverse. As a result, she crashed into the canal, an event which prompted the vampire to cut her some slack.
I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not - according to Colorado State Troopers - due to THAT. They have excluded drugs and adult beverages as contributing factors. So be it, but, according to our panel of PIGish experts ‘she’s NUTS’ is still in play.
Moonlighting In Arkansas
Source: PIG News Wire [06/25/10]
By day, Jessie Lunderby is a small town pretty girl, who is gainfully employed at the Washington County Detention Center as a detention officer, a post she has held down for the past three years. Off duty, Jessie Lunderby evolves into a blonde hottie whose steller booty was featured on Playboy.com as "Playboy Cybergirl of the Week".
Here, in the Free State of PIG, we salute Jessie Lunderby for both of her endeavors. Unhappily, the prudes in Washington County, Arkansas, aren’t exactly thrilled spitless over Jessie’s Playboy endeavor.
Her nude pictures are floating all over the Internet, and now, the Sheriff's Office is stepping in with its own investigation.
On the Playboy website, you'll find some very provocative pictures of Lunderby in her underwear, and even fully nude. On her bio, she said her ambition is “to become an undercover cop or work for the drug task force.”
But now, the detention officer of three years is getting heat for her off-duty actions. “She's definitely aware. She's been called in and interviewed about this particular situation,” said Maj. Rick Hoyt, from the Washington County Sheriff’s Office.
Hoyt said they're conducting an investigation to determine if Lunderby violated any one of two policies -- conduct unbecoming or engaging in off-duty employment in an area that's sexual in nature. “It goes against the very things that let people have confidence in our agency,” said Hoyt. “Subscribers can actually pay money, so somebody's making money on this and money is changing hands. So it is a business and so we feel that that policy has been violated as well.” (KHBS)
Is this the end of Jessie’s law enforcement career? The jury is still out, on that one, since the possible punishments range from suspension to termination.
Rabid Moonbat of the Week
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [06/24/10]
Rabid Moonbat: Paul McCartney
Magic Moonbat Moment: Passionate green campaigner Sir Paul McCartney believes the environmental disaster may have a silver lining, with the search for clean, renewable energy now being pushed forward.
The Beatles legend said: "Sadly we need disasters like this to show people. Some people don't believe in climate warming - like those who don't believe there was a Holocaust."
"But the facts indicate that there's something going on and we've got to be aware of it if we want our kids to inherit a decent world, not a complete nightmare of a planet - clean, renewable energy is for starters." (The Sun)
Parting shot: There are so many layers of stupidity here, it’s impossible to keep track of them. Admittedly, equating global warming skepticism with holocaust denial isn’t a Sir Pinhead...Sir Paul...original. BUT, blaming the Gulf Oil Spill on Global Warming has Sir Pinhead sailing in uncharted, oil-soaked, waters.
Last, but not least, Sir Pinhead uncorked these Rabid Moonbat gems:
"I don't accept the criticism of Barack over the oil spill. I think he's been great..."
"If the President of the country you spilled oil in tells you off then you've just got to take it or say, 'I'm really sorry, we'll clean it up and pay for it all by next week.'..."
"...Clean it all up and pay for it all by next week"? Welcome to Sir Pinhead’s Postal Code of the Twilight Zone.
FCC Paints A Regulatory Bull’s-Eye on Cyberspace
Source: Daily Caller [06/18/10]
Despite a bitch-slap from the United States Supreme Court in April 2010, the Federal Censorship Clowns - AKA Federal Communications Commission - are beavering away on new, improved, plans to assert regulatory control over the Internet. Fear not, free speech Sparky, they’re doing it ‘in the interest of consumers’.
The Federal Communications Commission voted Thursday to take another step toward reclassifying the way it regulates Internet service providers, releasing a plan for public comment that would give the federal agency vast new powers over companies that distribute Web access.
“The FCC has an obligation to move forward with an open, constructive public comment process to ask hard questions, build a record, find a solution and resolve the uncertainty that has been created,” said FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski.
The 3-2 vote comes on the heels of a unanimous April ruling from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia that said the FCC had overstepped its authority when the federal agency sanctioned Comcast for slowing some Internet traffic within its networks. The FCC has since made efforts to find new ways to regulate the industry that fall within the confines of the law. (Caller)
The FCC hopes to goose-step into cyberspace through the backdoor, by putting regulatory shackles on Internet service providers such as AT&T, Comcast and Verizon. At present, Internet service providers are classified as ‘information services’ putting them outside FCC control, but the censorship bonkers goose-steppers are doing everything in their power to change that.
If you don’t see some free speech nuking restrictions on Internet content looming ominously on the distant horizon, you’re not paying attention.
FTC Paints A Bull’s-Eye on 1st Amendment
Source: PIG News Wire [06/11/10]
The Federal Trade Commission calls the Obama Regime’s speech-muzzling scheme "reinventing journalism". I’d call it a frontal assault on the 1st Amendment. No matter what you call it, it’s the fast track to an entrenched, government controlled media. Orwell’s Ministry of Truth is looming ominously on the horizon .
Worried that their propaganda isn’t pervasive enough, the Obama Regime wants to prop up the fishwraps, using the federal tax code. The Washington Times served up these troubling tidbits:
According to a May 24 draft proposal, the agency thinks government should be at the center of a media overhaul. The bureaucracy sees it as a problem that the Internet has introduced a wealth of information options to consumers, forcing media companies to adapt and experiment to meet changing market needs. FTC's policy staff fears this new reality.
"There are reasons for concern that experimentation may not produce a robust and sustainable business model for commercial journalism," the report states. With no faith that the market will work things out for the better, government thinks it must come to the rescue.
The ideas being batted around to save the industry share a common theme: They are designed to empower bureaucrats, not consumers. For instance, one proposal would, "Allow news organizations to agree jointly on a mechanism to require news aggregators and others to pay for the use of online content, perhaps through the use of copyright licenses."
In other words, government policy would encourage a tax on websites like the Drudge Report, a must-read source for the news links of the day, so that the agency can redistribute the funds collected to various newspapers. Such a tax would hit other news aggregators, such as Digg, Fark and Reddit, which not only gather links, but provide a forum for a lively and entertaining discussion of the issues raised by the stories. Fostering a robust public-policy debate, not saving a particular business model, should be the goal of journalism in the first place.
The report also discusses the possibility of offering tax exemptions to news organizations, establishing an AmeriCorps for reporters and creating a national fund for local news organizations. The money for those benefits would come from a suite of new taxes. A 5 percent tax on consumer electronic devices such as iPads, Kindles and laptops that let consumers read the news could be used to encourage people to keep reading the dead-tree version of the news. Other taxes might be levied on the radio and television spectrum, advertising and cell phones.
If you can’t see the problem here, you’re not paying attention. Whenever Uncle Sam dispenses money, it ALWAYS comes with strings attached. In other words, his money, his rules. Do you really want Uncle Sam dictating the rules of journalism engagement? Do you really want him telling an already biased media, what they can, and can’t, print? Do you really want Uncle Sam taxing ‘unfriendly’ news purveyors into extinction.
I’ve said it once, and I’m saying it again. After watching the Obama Regime’s liberty nuking antics, I’m forced to conclude that George Orwell was an OPTIMIST.
That’s Entertainment?
Source: Golden Oinks [06/04/10]
When it comes to spewing Colonista drivel about racist, goose-stepping, Americans, few ‘media’ outlets shout louder, or longer, than the Spanish language network, Univision. If any legal American denizen even thinks words like ‘border enforcement’, Univision slams them with their handy-dandy race cards.
Given Univision’s sanctimonious antics, a recent broadcast reset the bar for hypocrisy:
A television skit about the upcoming World Cup soccer tournament that drew on African stereotypes has sparked outrage among black activists and earned an apology from the Spanish-language network Univision.
The skit aired Friday on the morning show "Despierta America," or "Wake Up America," and included hosts wearing Afro wigs, hoisting small spears and dancing to what Los Angeles civil rights activist Earl Ofari Hutchinson described as a "faux jungle music beat. They seem to be thoroughly enjoying their romp through every vile, vicious and offensive stereotype that's come down the pike on Africans."
Univision officials apologized Saturday for the skit. "It is completely unacceptable and against our policies, standards and practices. We sincerely apologize to our viewers and all who were offended." (AOL News)
In this incident, Univision’s hypocrisy is off the scale. That’s why, the next time Univision’s asshats start brandishing the race card against rational adults who want our borders enforced, follow our PIGish advice: consider the source.
Names in the News
Source: PIG News Wire [05/21/10]
Lindsey Lohan
The freckled fiend is back in the spotlight. The bad news is that an L.A. judge is thisclose to tossing a drugged out, boozing, Lilo into the slammer for violating the terms he imposed on her for her last drunken rampage. The good news is that, if she’s tossed in jail, her (alleged) Lesbo lover might show up to help Lilo cope with a graybar stint.
I know what you’re thinking, but this isn’t Lilo’s old flame, Samantha. According to a posting on the Fox site, Lilo is playing Y-Naut games with an older woman. Holy cougar bait, Batman!
Lindsay Lohan has a new, cougar lesbian lover -- stunning photographer and reality-show star Indrani.
Lohan, 23, who previously dated deejay Samantha Ronson, has been secretly seeing Indrani, 36 -- half of the respected lens duo of Markus Klinko and Indrani -- since the women worked together on a photo shoot last fall. Sources say Lohan and Indrani, also known as Julia I. Pal-Chaudhuri, have been on a series of dates in LA and recently spent the night at Lohan's hotel.
Indrani told The Post, "We have been spending a lot of time together. I have never had a relationship with a woman before, but Lindsay is just somebody who I find fascinating, gorgeous and extremely smart, as well as super-hot. Lindsay gets a lot of bad press, but she's a really strong, creative woman and is trying really hard to get her life in a good, positive place."
Klinko said the pair are good for each other. "Lindsay and Indrani have been seeing each other since we shot her last fall," he said. "I've seen them on dates, I have seen them making out . . . Indrani is a good influence on Lindsay. She is the opposite of a party girl -- a Princeton graduate, she's into art and is a philanthropist -- not what you'd expect the typical girl for Lindsay to go out with. When they are together, they talk about art and the deeper meaning in life." (Fox)
Is any of this true? That’s your call, Y-Naut bonkers, Sparky.
Miss USA, Rima Fakih
I’m pleased to report that this Mecca Maniac hottie is our kind of gal. Why? She’s a very tasty Middle Eastern dish who has graced us with her presence, since she emigrated here at age 7. Furthermore, unlike her burka wearing counterparts, Rima likes to strut her stuff in a bikini, especially when she’s winning a radio station’s pole dancing contest. Finally, although her family in Lebanon is proud of her, Rima’s head-turning Miss USA exploits give the ‘right’ people heartburn.
In an interview Tuesday with Lebanese television, Hezbollah official Hassan Fadlallah reportedly had few glowing words to describe Fakih, who became the first Muslim American on Sunday to secure the crown. "The criteria through which we evaluate women are different from those of the west," Fadlallah told the television station, AFP reported. (AFP)
Congratulations on your victory, Rima.
I’m Trapped In The Twilight Zone
Source: PIG News Wire [05/09/10]
It’s never breaking news when Keith Assholeman is ‘outraged’. That’s what passes for ‘nominal’ in this pimple on humanity’s butt’s pathetic existence. What makes this PIG-worthy is reason this stain on humanity’s skivvies is ‘outraged’.
An Obama predator drone joke was over the edge. President Barack Obama joked Saturday that he would use predator drones to kill the Jonas brothers if they tried to court his daughters. One newsman who is known for praising the president isn't laughing. MSNBC's Keith Olbermann said Monday Obama's joke went too far.
During his second appearance at the annual White House Correspondents Association Dinner Saturday, Obama said:
"Jonas Brothers are here, they're out there somewhere. Sasha and Malia are huge fans, but boys, don't get any ideas. Two words for you: predator drones. You will never see it coming. You think I'm joking?"
The quip has been compared to a joke by President George W. Bush a previous year making light of the fact that WMDs were never found in Iraq.
Philadelphia Daily News' Will Bunch tweeted. "Let's be honest, fellow progressives, we'd be all over Bush if he made the same 'predator drone' joke Obama told last night."
Olbermann seemed to agree with that assessment Monday night.
"The modern benchmark for going too far with humor in a presidential address was infamously achieved in March 2004. President Bush one year into the war in Iraq narrating the slide show at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association Dinner in Washington. 'Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere,' [said Bush]. Not everybody laughed. In hindsight, it has gotten less funny still," said Olbermann.
Jonathan Alter joined Olbermann to discuss the president's performance. "Did he or do we know who did the predator drones jokes about the Jonas brothers and did you think they were in bounds? Because, frankly, I thought that was over the edge. I thought that was almost in [Bush's] 'where are the weapons of mass destruction? Under the desk' thing," Olbermann asked Alter.
"Well, Keith, I would submit that you are not like me, the father of two daughters," answered Alter. "If someone comes for your preteen daughters, predator drones are actually a mild response." (Raw Story)
Keith Asshole man is outraged by a Messiah Barry laugh line? DAMN IT! I’m trapped in the Twilight Zone, AGAIN!
Rampant Hypocrisy
Source: Hollywood Reporter [05/07/10]
The gutless wonders running Comedy Central are poised to take hypocrisy off the scale. These craven cowards stage terrorist attack drills, any time someone on their cable blight think the ‘M’ word - Mohammed. BUT, they are ready, willing, and eager to paint a satirical bull’s-eye on another icon of supernaturalism, the Cross Dude. That’s right, PIGsters, the ‘M’ word is banned, forever, but it’s open season on Jesus. Holy hypocrites, Batman!
Comedy Central might censor every image of the Prophet Muhammad on "South Park," yet the network is developing a whole animated series around Jesus Christ.
As part of the network's upfront presentation to advertisers (full slate here), the network is set to announce "JC," a half-hour show about Christ wanting to escape the shadow of his "powerful but apathetic father" and live a regular life in New York City.
In the show, God is preoccupied with playing video games while Christ, "the ultimate fish out of water," tries to adjust to life in the big city.
"In general, comedy in purist form always makes some people uncomfortable," said Comedy Central's head of original programming Kent Alterman.
When asked if the show might draw some fire, especially coming on the heels of the network's decision to censor the Muslim faith's religious figure on "South Park," Alterman said its too early in the show's development to be concerned about such matters. "We don't even know what the show is yet," he said. (Hollywood Reporter)
Like the rest of the weasels at Comedy Central, this putrid pile of shit, Kent Alterman, won’t even discuss his cable blight’s heavy handed censorship of ‘South Park’. He’d much rather tout the forthcoming Christ-bashing series, because, unlike Jihadikazes, Cross Cultists aren’t threatening to blow his sorry ass to the hell he deserves.
I look forward to the day ‘South Park’ moves on to a more enlightened cable channel, so I can NUKE Comedy Central off my boob tube lineup.
T & A Come to Dinner
Source: Golden Oinks [05/07/10]
Somewhere along the way, a fixture on the D. C. political calendar - the White House Correspondents’ Dinner - turned into a show biz, red carpet, extravaganza. Attended by curious collection of News Nitwits, political hacks, and entertainers, it was an interesting selection, this year.
[Guests] included Sex And The City stars Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon, along with the sunning Scarlet Johansson and Michelle Pfeiffer.
Among the 3,000 guests on hand included Olympic gold medalist Lindsey Vonn, comedian Chevy Chase, actor Alec Baldwin, comedian Bill Maher, actress Michelle Pfeiffer, actor Dennis Quaid, former Secretary of State Colin Powell, Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, White House senior adviser David Axelrod, the Jonas brothers and another teen heartthrob, pop star Justin Bieber. Hollywood heavyweights Michel Douglas, Steven Spielberg were seen chatting with Emmanuel. (Daily Mail)
So far, the guest list rates as ‘nothing to see here, move along, but that’s about to change. Also invited to this Beltway Bash were - I am not making this up - Jessica Simpson AND Kim Kardashian. What the hell is up with that?
Parting shot: Jessica Simpleton? Kim Kardashian? Did some Red Shed minion take The One’s "TITS & ASS" doodling as a command from on high? Probably, because it’s the most likely explanation for Jessica "Tits" Simpleton and Kim "Ass" Kardashian’s attendance at this D. C. shindig.
Swimming Against The Tinsel Town Tide
Source: Hot Air [04/27/10]
‘Coming out’ takes on a new meaning, this week, after actress Janine Turner came out swinging as a proud, Tinsel Town, conservative. Unlike her lefty counterparts, Janine is doing more than spout off about her political philosophy . She’s getting personally, directly, involved.
Janine is promoting her new project, ‘Constituting America’ which is described, as ‘a project with a proclaimed mission to “reach, educate and inform America’s youth and her citizens about the importance of the U.S. Constitution and the foundation it sets forth regarding our freedoms and rights.”...’
Why is she taking this step? I’ll let her explain it to you:
Actress Janine Turner said it is “hard for conservatives in Hollywood because they’re afraid to step out,” for it can affect their career in a place where the political and social environment is “very left.”
At a press conference in Washington, D.C., to announce her new organization, Constituting America, CNSNews.com asked Turner if she would “elaborate a little bit more on the environment in Hollywood for conservative actors and actresses such as yourself.”
Turner said: “Well, I think it’s hard for conservatives in Hollywood because they’re afraid to step out. Because when they do, there could be repercussions where they don’t have work, and that can mean – I think there are a lot of conservatives in Hollywood, whether they’re actors or producers or directors or crew members – but there’s not sort of en masse stepping out, and so everyone, no one is really willing to take the first step.”
“And I don’t blame them,” she said. “I mean, it’s affected my career too. And I think it’s hard, when you, when you step out as a conservative, it’s just such a – the environment is very left, very, very different to our type of environment.”
Why speak out, then? Turner says she’s tired of people in her industry who meet in secret and “won’t take a stand.” She’s taking her case public, offering video podcasts of her thoughts on the Constitution, very informal segments that entertain as well as enlighten. The site also offers more serious analysis by Constitutional scholars such as Professor Michael Krauss of George Mason School of Law’s essay on the amendments today. (Hot Air)
Janine’s actions takes guts and the FSOP salutes her courage. Show your appreciation, by visiting her new Internet endeavor: Constituting America
Names In the News
Source: PIG News Wire [04/23/10]
Kelsey Grammar
If you couldn’t pick the RightNetwork out of a lineup, don’t feel like the Lone Ranger. It is, or soon will be, the newest VRWC speed bump on your boob tube dial.
The scribes at Ace of Spades HQ, serve up these nutritious nuggets:
Flyers' owner Ed Snider has just picked up another right-winger. This one won't help Philadelphia finally win another Stanley Cup, though.
The Snider-funded RightNetwork - with a looser approach to conservative topics, including a comedy show and a jocular front man in sitcom star Kelsey Grammer - is hoping to come to your cable box as early as this summer.
"We're creating a welcome place for millions and millions of Americans who've been looking for an entertainment network and media channel that reflects their point of view," Snider said. "RightNetwork will be the perfect platform to entertain, inform and connect with the American majority about what's right in the world."
As for programming, the proposed lineup on RightNetwork - as posted for a preview on its Web site, rightnetwork.com - is slanted more toward what could be called "conservative entertainment" and away from the newsier approach of Fox.
There is, for example, a right-leaning comedy show, "Evan Sayet's Right 2 Laugh," with standup comics making jokes about President Obama's teleprompter and buying an Obama coin "because any collector will tell you a coin is worth a lot more when there's an obvious mistake on it."
There's also a reality show called "Running" about six novice conservative candidates, and "Politics and Poker" with bombastic new-media star Andrew Breitbart.
I saw a YouTube video teaser on this, some-damn-where, and it looked very promising.
Matt Stone and Trey Parker
The 200th episode of "South Park" set off a series of cultural aftershocks, not the least of which involved death threats from the steaming pile of Jihadikaze shit who perpetrates the RevolutionMuslim.com site:
RevolutionMuslim.com posted the warning following the 200th episode of Trey Parker and Matt Stone's "South Park," which included a caricature of the Prophet Muhammad disguised in a bear suit. The web posting also included a graphic photo of Theo van Gogh, a Dutch filmmaker who was murdered in 2004 after making a documentary on violence against Muslim women.
"We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show," the posting reads. "This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them. (Fox)
Suitably alarmed, the suits at Comedy Central destroyed the second half of the two part episode with heavy handed censorship which obliterated anything that might refer to the Mecca Maniac prophet. Leaving nothing to chance, they also yanked an uncensored version of the episode from the show’s episode archives site.
Far from amused, Trey Parker and Matt Stone fired off this incendiary message:
In the 14 years we’ve been doing South Park we have never done a show that we couldn’t stand behind. We delivered our version of the show to Comedy Central and they made a determination to alter the episode. It wasn’t some meta-joke on our part. Comedy Central added the bleeps. In fact, Kyle’s customary final speech was about intimidation and fear. It didn’t mention Muhammad at all but it got bleeped too. We’ll be back next week with a whole new show about something completely different and we’ll see what happens to it.
Welcome to Americastan, PIGsters.
Matt & Trey Spread More Supernatualist Joy
Source: Salt Lake Tribune [04/17/10]
If Jihadikazes think ‘South Park’ creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, have singled out Mecca Mania for special, supernaturalism lampooning, attention, they need to get over it. In fact, when it comes to painting a satirical bull’s-eye on a flavor of supernaturalism, Matt and Trey have another sect on their comedic radar. I hope the Jihadikazes can handle rejection.
The Book of Mormon will make its debut next spring as a Broadway musical, but a lot of Latter-day Saints may not like it. Fans of satire, on the other hand, may love it.
"South Park" creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker are crafting a play -- right now dubbed "The Book of Mormon" -- that juxtaposes the story of two eager yet naive LDS missionaries in Uganda with the church's own complicated spiritual history, according to the New York Post.
Don't count on the play showcasing the kind of singing and dancing featured in Manti's "Mormon Miracle Pageant." If "South Park" is any indication, expect instead witty yet raunchy, profanity-laced satire. (Tribune)
Due to my close encounter with Mormonism, during a memorable sojourn in Utah, I am only shocked by one thing. If ever a flavor of supernaturalism begged to be satirized, it’s Joseph Smith’s supernaturalist brainchild. So why, I ask, did it take this long for a pair of high profile funsters like Matt and Trey to shine a bright comedic light on the sect?
Matt and Trey put the Book of Mormon on Broadway? That’s my idea of a good time. Can a similarly themed movie be in the works? I certainly hope so.
The Tingler Gets Bitch-Slapped
Source: Golden Oinks [04/09/10]
The fun started when El Rushbo hit one out of the park with this memorable, rhetorical outburst:
"Never in my life have I seen a regime like this, governing against the will of the people, purposely."
Rising to the bait, Chris ‘The Tingler’ Matthews, stopped humping Messiah Barry’s leg, just long enough to rush to the defense of his Dumbo-eared hunka, hunka burning love. Outraged, The Tingler took El Rushbo to task over the word ‘regime’:
"I've never seen language like this in the American press," he said, "referring to an elected representative government, elected in a totally fair, democratic, American election -- we will have another one in November, we'll have another one for president in a couple years -- fair, free, and wonderful democracy we have in this country…. We know that word, 'regime.' It was used by George Bush, 'regime change.' You go to war with regimes. Regimes are tyrannies. They're juntas. They're military coups. The use of the word 'regime' in American political parlance is unacceptable, and someone should tell the walrus [Limbaugh] to stop using it."
"I never heard the word 'regime,' before, have you?" he said to NBC's Chuck Todd. "I don't even think Joe McCarthy ever called this government a 'regime.'"
Writing in the Washington Examiner, Byron York unleashed a heaping helping of inconvenient truth on The Tinger.
It appears that Matthews has suffered a major memory loss. I don't have the facilities to search for every utterance of Joe McCarthy, but a look at more recent times reveals many, many, many examples of the phrase "Bush regime." In fact, a search of the Nexis database for "Bush regime" yields 6,769 examples from January 20, 2001 to the present.
After citing the usual suspects - N.Y. Times (16 instances of ‘Bush Regime’), Washington Post (24 instances) - Byron closed in on his leg-humping quarry, with numerous, recent, ‘Bush Regime’ examples on MSNBC:
Perhaps Matthews missed all of those references. If he did, he still might have heard the phrase the many times it was uttered on his own network, MSNBC. For example, on January 8 of this year, Democratic Rep. Joe Sestak said that, "In George Bush's regime, only one million jobs had been created…" On August 21, 2009, MSNBC's Ed Schultz referred to something that happened in 2006, when "the Bush regime was still in power." On October 8, 2007, Democratic strategist Steve McMahon said that "the middle class has not fared quite as well under Bush regime as…" On August 10, 2007, MSNBC played a clip of anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan referring to "the people of Iraq and Afghanistan that have been tragically harmed by the Bush regime." On September 21, 2006, a guest referred to liberals "expressing their dissatisfaction with the Bush regime." On July 7, 2004, Ralph Nader -- appearing with Matthews on "Hardball" -- discussed how he would "take apart the Bush regime."
Saving the best for last, Byron York nailed The Tingler with this ‘you hypocritical blowhard’, blast from Chris’s past:
Finally -- you knew this was coming -- on June 14, 2002, Chris Matthews himself introduced a panel discussion about a letter signed by many prominent leftists condemning the Bush administration's conduct of the war on terror. "Let's go to the Reverend Al Sharpton," Matthews said. "Reverend Sharpton, what do you make of this letter and this panoply of the left condemning the Bush regime?"
Nicely done, Byron. You impaled The Tingler on his own hypocrisy.
Easter Twofer
Source: Golden Oinks [04/02/10]
A Bunny In The Oven
If the goal of some Arizona eateries’ plan was free publicity, Caffe Boa (Tempe), and Caffe Boa Bistro (Mesa) can festoon their establishments with a ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner. In a daring move which launched a wide spectrum of whiners, executive chef Payton Curry planned his Easter Day menu around some seasonally-correct fare: rabbit. That’s right, PIGsters, Payton put Bugs Bunny on the menu.
As expected, the news did not thrill everyone spitless. On the other hand, this daringly inkorrect, heartburn-inducing move did put these two outposts of food-wrangling capitalism on the map. In the immortal words of Hannibal Smith, "I just love it, when a plan comes together."
If the Easter Bunny was a no-show, this year, you’ll find him on a dinner plate in Arizona, in one of these menu items:
* Carrot soup with crispy rabbit confit.
* Rabbit-liver mousse crostini, fines herbes salad, quince mostarda, horseradish crème fraiche.
* Rabbit terrine with black truffle, celery root and parsnip slaw, black-pepper buttermilk vinaigrette, brioche.
* Ravioli of rabbit, local beet pasta, arugula-walnut pesto, local radish slaw.
* Prosciutto-wrapped rabbit leg, white-truffle omelet, braised black-eyed peas.
* Carrot cake.
An alternative menu is available for children, and both restaurants offer other choices on their Easter brunch menus.
I’ll let you explain this to your tykes, Easter Bunny Sparky.
Holiday Name Games
I keep hoping this is one of those April Fool’s Day ‘gotcha’ stories. I’d much rather be on the receiving end of an April Fool’s Day joke, than find out that anyone in America could be such a monumental jackass. I’d like to say it’s a joke, but I’m not convinced, so I’ll give you the facts and let you decide:
One week before the most solemn day in the Christian year, the city of Davenport, Iowa removed Good Friday from its municipal calendar, setting off a storm of complaints from Christians and union members whose contracts give them that day off.
Taking a recommendation by the Davenport Civil Rights Commission to change the holiday's name to something more ecumenical, City Administrator Craig Malin sent a memo to municipal employees announcing Good Friday would officially be known as "Spring Holiday."
"My phone has been ringing off the hook since Saturday," said city council alderman Bill Edmond. "People are genuinely upset because this is nothing but political correctness run amok."
Edmond said the city administrator made the change unilaterally and did not bring it to the council for a vote, a requirement for a change in policy. "The city council didn't know anything about the change. We were blind sided and now we've got to clean this mess up. How do you tell people the city renamed a 2,000 year old holiday?" said Edmond. (ABC)
The good news is that some quasi rational Elected Tormentors quickly slapped down this Malin fool and restored ‘Good Friday’. The bad news is that Davenport, Iowa, has an utter, and complete, moron serving as City Administrator.
Parting shot: For those who care, here’s how Davenport’s Civil Rights Commission defends this insanity:
"We merely made a recommendation that the name be changed to something other than Good Friday," said Tim Hart, the commission's chairman. "Our Constitution calls for separation of church and state. Davenport touts itself as a diverse city and given all the different types of religious and ethnic backgrounds we represent, we suggested the change."
It all sounds reasonable enough, but I’m not buying it. The real answer is a familiar one: we do this crap, because we can.
Ay Carumba!
Source: PIG News Wire [03/19/10]
Our hero’s name is Victor Juan Martinez, a man whose claim to alleged fame is being an anchor on a Spanish lingo Flori-DUH boob tube outlet: Central Florida News 13 En Español. If you’re one of Vic’s ardent fans, you’re in for some troubling news, because the general manager of the boob tube blight has yanked Vic from the air, ‘for the time being’.
I know what you’re thinking, but Vic’s antics have nothing to do with boinking some Latina news hottie, underneath the news anchor desk. In fact, Vic’s career hit a speed bump, when he went road rage bonkers and, among other things, pretended to be - TA DA - a cop:
Victor Juan Martinez, 33, of Kissimmee, an anchor for Central Florida News 13 En Español, was arrested on a felony warrant and booked into the Osceola County Jail with bail set at $1,000.
An investigation began Feb. 15 when deputies were called for a road-rage incident on state Road 417, Osceola County sheriff's deputies said.
According to the motorist, a man later identified as Martinez followed him to his home and partially blocked him in his driveway with his vehicle, deputies said. The man approached Martinez, and asked him why he followed him, deputies said. Martinez reached into his jacket, prompting the man, who had his son with him, to call 911, deputies said.
Martinez walked toward the man, pulled out a billfold that contained a badge and said he was a police officer, according to the Sheriff's Office. Martinez also said that he knew where the man lived and had his license number, according to deputies.
The man said Martinez then quickly got back in his vehicle and sped away, according to deputies.
The man gave authorities a partial license plate number of the vehicle belonging to Martinez, who was later positively identified by the man, deputies said. (WKMG Local 6)
Where, you ask, did Vic get his phoney police credentials? The Orange County Sheriff’s Office gave him something that resembles a badge, when Vic signed on as a volunteer helper with the aforementioned justice system cabal.
The bad news for Vic is that he’s been busted for playing cop. The good news for Vic is that he’s getting a whole new perspective on the local justice system, from inside a cell. Film at 11? You better believe it, breaking news Sparky.
MTV Gets Too Real For Truckee
Source: Golden Oinks [03/19/10]
The Elected Tormentors who infest Truckee (Mexifornia) should have seen this one coming, when MTV got a permit to film some scenes for a new show in the aforementioned wide spot on a Mexifornia road. The stunts, as described in the MTV permit request, seem tame enough: cast members would stick their tongues to a flagpole, and an 8-foot snow sculpture would be built. No harm, no foul? That’s a matter of opinion.
The first sign of pending trouble is the fun fact that MTV’s new show, "The Dudesons", is filled with "Jackass" style extreme stunts and offbeat pranks. With a pedigree like that, it’s far from shocking that the harmless-sounding ‘snow sculpture’ turned out to be and 8-foot tall wang which spits out a geyser of ‘milky white liquid’.
An obscene snow sculpture built in the center of downtown Truckee by a crew producing an MTV reality show has angered town officials and residents. "It was a giant penis with water shooting out," said downtown merchant Stefani Olivieri, whose store is directly across the street from the historic train depot where the sculpture was built. "It was not appropriate. There were a lot of children around." (News10/KXTV)
The good news for the Truckee-Donner Chamber of Commerce is that they got the publicity they craved. The bad news is that MTV played them like a fiddle, and grabbed a treasure trove of free publicity for their newest ‘reality show’ assault on our sanity.
Tinsel Town Stinkers
Source: PIG News World [03/12/10]
It’s Awards Season in Tinsel Town. YAWN! I won’t bore you with the results of the Oscars. Why? Because, I won’t aid and abet rabid Libertard moonbats who like to toot their own horns.
Instead, I will give you a Paul Harvey Moment, with ‘the rest of the story’. Here, as one final, ‘don’t go there, Sparky’, warning, are the ‘winners’ of this year’s Golden Raspberry Awards:
Worst Picture – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Worst Director – Michael Bay, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Worst Actor – All Three Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience
Worst Actress – Sandra Bullock, All About Steve
Worst Supporting Actor – Billy Ray Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
Worst Supporting Actress – Sienna Miller, G.I. Joe
Worst Screen Couple – Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, All About Steve
Worst Remake Rip-Off Sequel – Land of the Lost
Worst Pictures of the Decade – Battlefield Earth
Worst Actor of the Decade – Eddie Murphy
Worst Actress of the Decade – Paris Hilton
Parting shot: I can't argue with 'WORST', but I’m inclined to dispute pinning an "actress" label on the Skank, a nads baring eyesore who is, tragically, terrifyingly, REAL.
Howard Stern’s PIGish Pageant
Source: Golden Oinks [03/05/10]
I’m please to welcome Decency Demon, Howard Stern, back to our Golden Oinks page. After a prolonged absence, Howard commanded our undivided attention with a relentlessly PIGish outburst of self-promotion.
If you’re thinking ‘beauty pageant’, you’re on the right track, but it’s not your plain vanilla, ‘been there, seen that’ booty parade.
Last week Howard Stern announced he had lined up four of Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses to compete in a “beauty pageant” as part of his radio program on March 10, but Pop Tarts has learned exclusively that at least one of the women is causing problems.
“It’s all a bit chaotic at the moment, one of the girls pulled out, and Stern’s people are scrambling and doing everything they can to get her back,” an insider told Pop Tarts. “They’re offering her a black diamond (which was supposed to be just for the winner) and guaranteed prize money even if she doesn’t win.”
Pop Tarts has also been told a slew of companies are trying to get in on the action and “sponsor” the prize pool of the highly-anticipated showdown between the three (possibly four) mistresses who are yet to be identified, all of whom have already been named in the press as having had affairs with the married golf pro.
The women are slated to compete in various sections including “bikini,” “personality,” and “talent” in a bid to take home a $100,000 cash prize which was donated by - how surprising - infidelity-promoting agency AshlyMadison.com. (Fox 411)
It’s nice to know that Howard hasn’t lost his touch, since moving to satellite radio.
Dumas Film Knots French Knickers
Source: Daily Mail [02/19/10]
No doubt, most of you know the name "Alexandre Dumas", the 19th century French author who wrote ‘The Three Musketeers’ and ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’. What you might not know - I didn’t - is that Dumas was at least one-fourth Melanin-Enriched, due to a Haitian grandfather. This otherwise inconsequential genealogical tidbit left its mark - somewhat darkened skin and Afro-ish hair - on Dumas. So what? So plenty, thanks to the usual, sad sack assortment of Ethnocrat subjects.
In France Ethnocrat panties are wadded because French acting legend, Gerard Dapardieu, has been cast to play Dumas in a new flick, ‘The Other Dumas’. Determined to make his portrayal memorable Gerard knotted Ethnocrat knickers, by darkening his skin and putting on ‘a black wig’.
Patrick Lozes, President of the Council of Black Associations of France, branded the move 'extremely shocking and insulting', saying that Dumas's African heritage was deliberately being ignored for commercial reasons.
Although he was born in Paris, Dumas was the grandson of a Haitian slave and often referred to himself as a Caribbean 'negro' because of his distinctive African features. He became a French national hero because of his literary talent, but this did not stop him being widely mocked because of his colour.
Claude Schopp, a French historian, said: 'In caricatures and in sketches Dumas was always presented with big lips, with Afro hair - as a sort of monster.'
Mr Lozes said the film suggested 'we don't have any black actor who has the talent to play Alexander Dumas, which of course is not true.' Mr Lozes added: 'In 150 years time could the role of Barack Obama be played in a film by a white actor with a fuzzy wig? Can Martin Luther King be played by a white?' He said the new film should have been a perfect chance to celebrate ethnic diversity in a country that is frequently accused of having racist tendencies. (Daily Mail)
If these French Ethnocrats need some help, I’m sure America can spare two charter members of the Race Card Retard Hall of Shame: Je$$e Jack$on and Al $harpton. All you gotta do is ask, Frenchy.
Parting shot: After seeing Dumas' and Dapardieu's images, side by side, I'm compelled to ask: what's the problem? It appears to be case of superb casting, a contention supported by the film's prime movers:
'The vibrancy of Depardieu is the perfect embodiment of Dumas,' said producer Frank Le Wita.
Director Safy Nebbou said Dumas was only a quarter black, adding: 'It would have been a historic error to have chosen a mixed-blood actor - he had blue eyes like Depardieu.' (Daily Mail)
Cupid In The Crosshairs
Source: PIG News Wire [02/12/10]
Cupid Deemed Uncool for School In J.O.E.
Full of themselves, and IT, the pinheads running a Brit cess-school - Ashcombe Primary School in England - black-flagged the venerable tradition of passing out Valentines. Their reason is that favorite canard of unrepentant busybodies: it’s for the children. They claim that the inmates - ranging from age 4 to 11 - aren’t mature enough for romance.
"Some children and parents encourage a lot of talk about boyfriends and girlfriends,'' wrote head teacher Peter Turner in a monthly newsletter.
"We believe that such ideas should wait until children are mature enough emotionally and socially to understand the commitment involved in having or being a boyfriend and girlfriend,'' he said in the letter to parents. (AFP)
Romance? Boyfriends and girlfriends? What a steaming load. At those ages, any heart twinges are, at most, puppy love and therefore rate as no harm, no foul. Somebody needs to impale this Turner fool with a cattle prod and let ‘er rip. BZZZZZT! Sanity restored.
Ruskie Mecca Maniacs Paint an Islamikaze Bull’s-Eye on Cupid
Terrified that young men and women will do what comes naturally, when their hormones reach critical mass, those paragons of ‘fun’, Mecca Maniac ‘leaders’ have, once again, pinned an ‘enemy of Islam’ on Cupid and his Valentine’s Day antics:
Muslim leaders in Russia have called for believers to boycott Saint Valentine's Day, saying it "preaches universal permissiveness, amorality and nihilism."
A council of Muslim leaders in Russia's Nizhny Novgorod region released a statement Wednesday calling for a "ban" on celebrating Valentine's Day, which is growing in popularity in Russia although it is not an official holiday.
"We call on all believers and sensible people to say no to celebrating this day, since it contradicts not only the norms of Islam, but also recognised human morality," the statement said.
The Muslim leaders also appealed to head teachers at the region's schools to cancel celebrations for "moral and ethical reasons." (AFP)
If this Cupid crap does the Can-Can on their Islamikaze hypersensitivity, I have a suggestion that will make it all better, for them: Close your eyes, put your fingers in your ears, hum real loud, and GET OVER IT.
Decency Demon Touted For A New Gig
Source: New York Post [02/05/10]
Is that bane of Brent Bozell’s Morality Nazi existence, Decency Demon Howard Stern, ready to return to the ‘public’ airwaves, when Howard’s contract with Sirus XM Radio expires in January 2011? It’s too soon to tell, but this week, the NY Post’s Page Six served up an interesting possibility.
What if Howard Stern took Simon Cowell’s place on American Idol, when Simon leaves the show at the end of the current season? Bold new concept:
A source connected to "Idol" said, "It's one of the few shows that could compete with Stern's $100 million-a-year Sirius contract, and 'Idol' bosses think he'd be even nastier than Simon. "They know he would be great TV and would clash with the other judges such as Ellen DeGeneres and the contestants. 'Idol' will do what it takes to sign him."
But a second source told us Stern hasn't made the "Idol" talks easy, and has been giving out mixed messages about his intentions. "Despite what he's been saying on-air, Howard isn't ready to leave radio and would like to stay on at Sirius," the source said. "We believe this is a ploy to make Sirius pay up and keep him on his huge contract. But if Sirius can't pay him the money he wants, he may negotiate to film 'Idol' on the side."
Stern is also believed to be reluctant to commit to a show that would require him to tour the US as a judge and spend much of the year in Los Angeles. He recently said, somewhat cryptically, "I was approached by a major TV network to take over a TV show and leave here and do that next year -- and I did turn it down . . . I'm not even sure if I want to be working. I'm waiting to see what happens."
Would Howard Stern’s presence on ‘American Idol’ be enough to make this pagan scribbler start watching it? I don’t know, but it couldn’t hurt.
Governor Prince Fred?
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [01/25/10]
If you think Mexifornia’s action hero governor is as weird as things get in Golden State politics, get over it. Arnold doesn’t hold a candle to the new ‘kid’ on Mexifornia’s political block.
The last time our hero hit the headlines was when he tried to stake a claim to Anna Nicole Smith's bonus baby, by pretending to be the nipper's daddy. That's right, PIGsters, Prince Fred, the dude who purchased his title at a bargain basement price, with someone else's money, no doubt, is BACK.
This time around, Prince Frederick Von Anhalt, the greedy loser who married Zsa Zsa Gabor for her money, is seeking a promotion. Promotion? You bet, he wants to matriculate from ‘kept’ man, to Governor of Mexifornia. His resume is, admittedly, egregiously thin, but, if a German accent got Arnold the job, why won’t it work for Prince Fred?
The good news for a Governor Prince Fred is that he’ll qualify for booty calls from women younger than God.
The bad news for a Governor Prince Fred is daunting: the state is broke; he’ll have to live in Sacramento; and his paychecks will probably bounce.
The good news for Mexifornia denizens is the fun fact that a Governor Prince Fred promises badly needed comic relief. One of those gifts that keeps on giving, Prince Fred is a much more entertaining German-accented fool than the one they’ve got now.
Is it worth the effort for Prince Fred? Oh hell yes. Why? Life with Zsa Zsa is no picnic, besides, have you SEEN her, lately?
Compellingly-InKorrect In J.O.E.
Source: Golden Oinks [01/22/10]
From our ‘now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are’ news desk, I am delighted to bring you a magic moment of awe-inspiring incorrectness. Making this doubly satisfying is the fact that this happened in Korrectnik-infested J.O.E.
This memorable event started, during the morning commute, when a suicidal woman, literally, stopped traffic, by threatening to leap off a highway bridge on a main artery which rings the Brit city, Manchester. Understandably pissed over the gridlock, the commuters needed a way to vent their frustration. One viable outlet was the morning drive show on Revolution Radio hosted by its owner, disc jockey Steve Penk.
Eventually, one of the trapped commuters snapped, and in a blinding flash of inspiration, the commuter called the station and requested a song suitable to the occasion. What song was it? Van Halen’s "JUMP". Did Steve Penk comply? Oh hell yes, and he’s still hearing about it, from the usual suspects:
Penk refused to apologize for the decision, saying he was standing by his audience. He said he was stunned by the media coverage. The Sun newspaper quoted a listener saying that playing the song was “pathetic and nasty.”
Paul Farmer, who leads the Mind lobbying organization on mental health issues, said the DJ showed “a complete lack of compassion and sensitivity.” (Canoe.ca)
Did the woman take a hint from this timely musical nudge? Not exactly. She did jump, sustaining minor injuries, but the cops insist that she couldn’t possibly have heard the song. That’s all well and good, but I’m going to give Steve Penk an ‘assist’, anyway.
Korrecnik Word Games
Source: PIG News Wire [01/08/10]
Korrecting Joseph Conrad
If you spent quality time in an English class, working on your well-rounded education, you’re, no doubt, familiar with such well known Joseph Conrad tomes like "Heart of Darkness" and "Lord Jim". Depending on your teachers’ enthusiasm for Conrad’s scribblings, you may, or may not be familiar with his 1897 novel about a black man who takes the crew of a British sailing ship hostage: "The Nigger of the Narcissus".
In its original form, this novel is replete with the so-called ‘n-word’ - "nigger" - from start to finish. The key term here is ‘in its original form’, because the Korrecniks at WordBridge Publishing - Netherlands-based book wranglers - just put out a Korrected version of this Conrad classic under the asinine name "The N-Word of the Narcissus". Does that mean they went Korrectnik bonkers from start to finish? You better believe it, Sparky. Throughout the book, the reviled term "nigger" has been replaced with the kinder, gentler, suitably korrect, "n-word".
Is this Korrectness on steroids? That’s the fact, Jack.
Korrecting Kiddie Classics
According to a news story in the Daily Mail, those rampaging Korrectnik pests are up to their ususal ‘it’s for the children’ tricks, again. This time out, they’re painting a bull’s-eye on Little Red Riding Hood and Jack and the Beanstalk, by giving them Korrected endings:
In Tempar's version of Little Red Riding Hood (The True Story of Little Red Riding Hood by Agnese Baruzzi and Sandro Natalin) the Wolf is shooed away, makes friends with Little Red Riding Hood, and becomes a vegetarian. In the Usbourne Illustrated Fairy Tales the wolf discovers healthy eating and lives on boiled carrots.
In the original, by the Brothers Grimm, the fate of the wolf is perfectly clear. For those who can't get hold of some kind of Samizdat copy (mine comes from the Folio Society), it says: ‘Red Riding Hood brought some big stones and they filled the wolf with them, so that when he woke up and tried to spring away he couldn't move and fell down dead.’
When it comes to Jack and the Beanstalk one can no longer rely on the ogre saying: ‘Fee, fi, fo, fum.’ The phrase originated from Shakespeare's King Lear. You can't even assume Jack kills the ogre. In the Macmillan version by Nick Sharrat and Stephen Tucker he just gets buried in a compost heap. (Daily Mail)
If, like me, you’re wondering ‘Don’t they have anything better to do?’, the answer is ‘apparently not’.
Hottest, PIG-worthy Tiger Rumor of the Week
Source: The Superficial [12/16/09]
According to our Superficial scribe, Jessica Simpleton got down and dirty with Tiger, as reported in this Star Magazine excerpt:
Just days before Jessica's split with Tony Romo, she had a sizzling meeting with the fallen golf star at the AT&T National Pro-Am golf tournament in Bethesda, Md.
"Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it," a source tells Star.
Since Jess had been fighting with Tony -- who was Tiger's golf partner at the July tournament -- she gave as good as she got.
"Jessica said that she felt like Tony wasn't paying attention to her, so she was like, 'What the heck!' " says the source. "She decided to have fun with Tiger whether it bothered Tony or not."
Is it true? Jessica says no way. Tiger is too busy eating cereal, watching cartoons, and hitting golf balls at night to comment. Here in the FSOP we’re still on the fence. She’s his ‘big titted trailer trash blonde’ type, but we’re not THAT convinced that Tiger rings Jessica’s chimes.
It Didn’t Even Work In The Movie
Source: Golden Oinks [12/11/09]
It’s officially Christmas season in the PIGdom, now that two pinheads have played out that memorable flagpole scene from ‘A Christmas Story’. That’s right, PIGsters, two young ‘uns, willingly, eagerly, foolishly, got their tongue stuck to a metal pole.
Boise, Idaho
The fun hit high gear, when a woman spotted a thrill-seeking 10-year-old lad who had his tongue stuck to a metal fence pole. She called 911, after which, firefighters liberated the young adventurer with a glass of warm water. None the worse for wear - aside from some slight bleeding from his tongue - the lad was sent off the school, where he could regale his classmates with his stupidity.
Spokane Valley, Washington
With the temperature reading a bone-chilling 10 degrees, it was perfect weather for this brainfart, when a pair of wenchlets decided to play flagpole roulette. The first wenchlet managed to pucker up and smooch the metal pole at the old Pratt Elementary, and get away with it.
Suitably encouraged, our 13 year old heroine, refused to believe the ‘tongue sticks to a metal pole story’, so she wagged her tongue and got it stuck on the metal pole. She stayed up close and personal with the pole, until the firefighters arrived with the magic, liberating, elixir, a container of hot water.
Lesson learned? I certainly hope so.
Names In The News
Source: PIG News Wire [12/04/09]
Meredith Baxter
I’m trying to be thrilled that Meredith Baxter has, belatedly, figured out why she can’t make a marriage work. I’m trying to be thrilled that she’s finally discovered her inherent Y-Naut sexual orientation. I’m trying, but it isn’t working. You’re 62, darlin’, so, unless you have some ‘back in the day’ images of you in a clinch with Justine Bateman, putting a new spin on those ‘Family Ties’, I’m fresh out of thrilled spitless. If women ring your chimes, I’m happy for you, but I still don’t understand why you were compelled to share this joy, now.
Holy Huckabee
The nicest thing I can say about this loser is this: Mikey’s Harry Truman impression needs work. For Mike Huckabee 'the buck stops anywhere, but here'. Instead of accepting his part of the blame for commuting the sentence of that rat bastard who mowed down 4 police officers in Lakewood, Washington, Mikey is going gutless and girlie by blaming everyone else:
Mike Huckabee, who as Arkansas governor commuted the sentence of the man suspected of killing four Lakewood Police officers, said Monday night his "heart is broken" but insisted that prosecutors and judges were derelict in keeping Maurice Clemmons from returning to prison. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)
I’ve had my fill of gutless and girlie assholes with delusions of grandeur. I've had my fill of craven, finger-pointing, cowards who sleaze their way into the Oval Office. I’ve had my fill, to put it bluntly, of Mike Huckabee. With his abject failure to accept any responsibility for his own actions, Mikey has proven himself UNFIT for the presidency. Crawl back under your rock and STAY THERE, Mikey.
Gloria Allred
With media in a non-stop feeding frenzy over Tiger Woods and his late night, crash test dummy adventure, I suppose it was inevitable that SHE would find some way to get some face time on all those live cameras. ‘She’ is the media slut in red, Gloria Allred, and her intrusion into the Tiger Woods story is, to say the least, a real pisser.
As usual, when she’s unable to sink her hooks into one of the primary combatants, the Red Witch got one of the ‘featured’, but not central, players. Mrs. Tiger, Elin, isn’t likely to give Allred the time of day, but the same can’t be said for the gold digger who - reportedly - got horizontal and squishy with Tiger, Rachel Uchitel. For Rachel, Allred, is her entry pass into an enriching - ka-ching - payday for her fling with Tiger. Rachel and Gloria probably deserve each other, but we deserve better.
As usual, Allred will do what she always does, try to monopolize the spotlight. It would be nice, if, just this once, the news nitwits ignored this bitch.
Parting shot: Rachel, you mercenary slut, you can get that 'Playboy' spread, much easier, WITHOUT the media slut in red. Dump the bitch, Rachel. Dump the bitch.
