PIG News Digest

SEPTEMBER 2008

Pucker Up, Sweet Lips
Source: The Press [09/05/08]

Last month, we posted a story in our Holy Roller News about a pop tart named Katy Perry (Holy Roller Heartburn, 8/17/08). She’s the singer who gave her hard core evangelical preacher parents terminal heartburn by recording the runaway hit song, "I Kissed a Girl".

A Daily Mail news piece shares this tidbit about Katy’s song:

Katy appears in the video for the hit in revealing lingerie and posing provocatively, surrounded by writhing models, as she sings ‘I kissed a girl and I liked it / The taste of her cherry chapstick’. Just over a week ago she leapt into the crowd at a gig and kissed a 16-year-old lesbian fan.

At the time, I had no clue about this pop tart. I still don’t, but the popularity of the song is substantiated by a Kiwi radio station named ‘The Edge’:

About 40 girls paired up in Cathedral Square yesterday afternoon and locked lips in an effort to win a trip to Melbourne to see pop star Katy Perry, singer of the hit song I Kissed a Girl. Most looked to be teenagers or in their early 20s with organisers from The Edge radio station urging them to be "as hetero or as gay as you like about it".

The Edge Canterbury brand manager Alice Duncan said the event was "more about the cheeky side". "It's about having a risque (time) and pushing the boundaries." (The Press)

The predominantly male crowd of onlookers deemed the girl-on-girl liplocks pretty tame stuff that isn’t likely to signal the end of civilization. Elsewhere, a Kiwi TFV (Traditional Family Values)cabal, The Family Party, decried the publicity stunt as ‘indecent’ and whined that it is ‘sending the wrong message to young people’.

Here in the Free State of PIG we understand that sometimes girlish high spirits rule the day. We’re calling this one no harm, no foul.

Law of Unintended Consequences
Source: Golden Oinks 2008 [09/05/08]

The purpose of language filter programs is unambiguous: render the Internet user friendly for chronically offended prudes, not to mention, THE CHILDREN. Leaving nothing to chance, these language sanitizing do-gooders, venture beyond the oft-reviled 4-letter words. In addition to expunging f-bombs and s-bombs, these language filters also transform "ass" into "butt", and "tit" into "breast". No harm, no foul? You know better.

This self-inflicted wound reaches critical mass, when these language filters make their changes in the middle of a word: "Lincoln assassinated" becomes "Lincoln Buttbuttinated"; "Passenger" becomes "Pbuttenger";"Passerby" becomes "Pbutterby"; "Classic" becomes "Clbuttic"

The problem is fairly widespread; Google searches turn up 3,810 results for “clbuttic”, 5,120 for “consbreastution”, and 1,450 for “Buttociated Press”, a corruption of the US news agency the Associated Press.

Perhaps the most celebrated instance of the Clbuttic Mistake comes in an article currently visible on the website jucee.org . It contains mentions of a “series of previously secret Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) plots to buttbuttinate foreign leaders”, a law “pbutted by Congress”, and new powers "butterted" by the US administration.

Another article on the site is titled “What did the British Embbutty do for this British National Overseas pbuttport holder.” (Telegraph)

Here in the Free State of PIG, our favorite clbuttic mistake is the one found on the American Family Association’s site, where they had their language filter expunge "Gay" and replace it with "Homosexual". That produced this award-worthy gem about sprinter Tyson Gay’s heroics at the U. S. Olympic Trials: “Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has." Later, in the same Internet rant, the AFA referred to Tyson as “the 25-year-old Homosexual”.

Holy unintended consequences, Batman!!!

AUGUST 2008

LPGA Issues Language Rules
Source: Golfweek [08/27/08]

Despite the international flavor of its competitors, the LPGA is, first, last, and always an American brand. Its marketing is aimed, primarily, at an American market and its advertisers like it that way. With those facts uppermost in their minds, LPGA officials issued a decree that, beginning in 2009, all competitors must be able to communicate effectively in English.

At a mandatory South Korean player meeting Aug. 20 at the Safeway Classic, the tour informed its largest international contingent that beginning in 2009, all players who have been on tour for two years must pass an oral evaluation of their English skills. Failure would result in a suspended membership.

“Hopefully what we’re talking about is something that will not happen,” said Libba Galloway, the tour’s deputy commissioner, of possible suspensions. “If it does, we wouldn’t just say, ‘Come back next year.’ What we would do is work with them on where they fell short, provide them the resources they need, the tutoring . . . and when we feel like they need to be evaluated again, we would evaluate.”

Galloway said the policy takes effect immediately, but the “measurement time will be at the end of 2009.” There are 121 international players from 26 countries on tour; 45 are South Koreans.

Hilary Lunke, president of the Player Executive Committee, said much of this initiative stems from the importance of being able to entertain pro-am partners. Players already are fined if the LPGA receives complaints from their pro-am partners. Now the tour is taking it one step further.

“The bottom line is, we don’t have a job if we don’t entertain,” Lunke said. “In my mind, that’s as big a part of the job as shooting under par.” (Golf Week)

So far, the players have accepted the decree with minimal complaining. They’re aware that the economy is crappy, a fact which makes sponsors think twice about the brand names they help promote. If the LPGA wants to stop the ongoing loss of sponsorship, this English only move is a good beginning.

Parting shot: The LPGA isn’t making unreasonable demands. All they ask is that the women on the tour be able to conduct an interview without needing the services of a translator. That, in PIG’s opinion, is a very reasonable requirement.

Names in the News
Source: PIG News Wire [08/22/08]

David Zucker
Tinsel Town has no patience with anyone - no matter how famous or successful - who strays from the well traveled liberal lemming path. Mel Gibson found that out, when he made ‘The Passion of the Christ’. Because his film violated some liberal lemming rules of engagement, Mel, and his film, were pummeled mercilessly. More recently, Jon Voight earned a ‘blacklist the bastard’ pounding, after he wrote an op-en piece opposing Messiah Barry.

This week, another name can be added to the list, David Zucker, the man who brought you such classic flicks as ‘Airplane’ and ‘Scary Movie’. He was doing just fine, until he perpetrated a new film named "An American Carol". What is it? It’s a film that takes on the Tinsel Town lefties in general and bloated liberal lemming icon, Michael Moore, in particular.

If they’re THIS mad, now, imagine what it will be like when this film hits 2,000 screens on October 3rd.

Parting shot: David Zucker has given me a lot of laughs, so I’m far from impartial, where he’s concerned. Even if I hated every film he ever made, I’d still find the time to go see "An American Carol". Why? Because he’s pissing off every liberal lemming in Tinsel Town. That’s a heroic feat of epic proportions. Give the bastards hell, David.

David Bloomberg
Big Apple Mayor, David Bloomberg, had a classic head up his butt moment. this week, but he’s breathing fresh air again, now. His adventure started, while he was addressing the greeniacs attending the National Clean Energy Summit in Las Vegas. That’s when he proposed harnessing wind power, by putting wind turbines in Big Apple bridges and buildings.

Faster than you can say "stop the presses", Big Apple fishwraps were having a great time at the mayor’s expense. They cranked out photoshopped images of the New York City skyline with wind turbines everywhere, including the Empire State Building and the Brooklyn Bridge.

Smarting from that richly-deserved drubbing, Bloomberg quickly stepped back from the brink:

"There are aesthetic considerations," Bloomberg said. "No. 2, I have absolutely no idea whether that makes any sense from a scientific, from a practical point of view." (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

A greeniac, David Carr of the Alternative Energy Institute, tried to be gentle with Bloomberg when he critiqued the idea:

"I don't think this was very well thought out," he said. Among the complications are turbulence and vibrations the buildings would have to endure, plus the relatively small amount of wind the turbines would be able to harness in a city where other buildings and trees stand in the way, Carr said. Also, skyscrapers typically are not built to withstand the load of turbines. "If you want it for art and decoration, that's fine, but for achieving any kind of power that's useful, it's not a very good idea, and I don't know of anywhere that's done it very successfully." (Post-Intelligencer)

It’s a damn shame that Mother Nature - not to mention those pesky, immutable, physical laws - aren’t more cooperative. After all, Bloomberg’s intentions were good, and, when you’re an off the cliff Nanny State loving liberal, that’s all the matters.

Names in The News
Source: PIG News Wire [08/15/08]

Ed McMahon
It’s no secret that PIG isn’t The Donald’s (Donald "Combover" Trump) biggest fan. He bugs the crap out of us and we’re not shy about admitting it. Proving that every dog has his day, even when they’re called The Donald, we’re more than a tad amazed to give him heartfelt PIGish props.

According to that bastion of factual reporting, the L.A. Times, The Donald has just pulled Ed McMahon’s bacon out of that raging foreclosure fire. Hampered by a neck injury, among other things, Ed has defaulted on $4.8 million in mortgage loans. Faced with a financial meltdown, Ed tried to sell his home, but that’s not a slam dunk with the housing market in free fall. After nearly two years, and several price cuts, he still didn’t have any takers.

During an exclusive interview with this Sanctuary City of Angels fishwrap, Trump explained that he is going to purchase the home from the lender, then lease it back to Ed. The Donald reports that he remembers all the good times he had during his time at the Wharton School of Business, watching Ed doing his late night gig as Johnny Carson’s sidekick. For those, and other, reasons, The Donald stated that it "would be an honor" to help Ed McMahon.

You did good, Donny boy. Now, if you could do something about that hairdo, life would be damn near perfect.

Denise Richards
As far as we can tell, Denise Richards’ primary claim to fame is having a body that - despite producing two wenchlets - is still worth seeing naked. Her other claim to fame is being one-half of a very nasty divorce, after she went insane and married Charlie Sheen, the daddy of her two tykes.

Trying to cash in on her meager ‘talent’, Denise landed a reality show on the star struck speed bump on your cable dial, E! If you’ve tuned into this blight on the boob tube dial, you know that Denise is one very serious BITCH, who swears like a longshoreman. That, apparently, is not thrilling boob tube junkies spitless, according to the scribes at the Female First gossip site:

‘...sources claim the way she handled her public battle with Sheen over custody of three year old Lola and Sam, two, has turned viewers off. An insider tells America's Star magazine, "The numbers started out pretty good - just over 1.5 million tuned into the premiere episode. But the audience has dropped off. Denise has turned into an unappealing reality star."

Richards' bad language on the programme has also angered the public. The source adds, "Viewers were disgusted that a mother of two young girls would use such foul language."...’ (Female First)

Apparently, Denise is only appealing when she’s appearing naked on the big screen, or in ‘Playboy’. Otherwise, in real life, rational adults can do without her crap. That’s why the suits at E! are contemplating giving Denise and her ‘Denise Richards: It’s Complicated’ the axe.

Spin Doctoring In Beijing
Source: PIG News Wire [08/08/08]

The fun started when four American cyclists arrived for the Beijing Olympics wearing smog masks. As if that's not enough to thrill everybody, there's this pesky 'stuff' that turns the air in Beijing into a yellow-gray 'haze'. As fun as this sounds it gets better.

First, Arne Ljungqvist, chairman of the IOC's medical commission, spewed this 'nothing to see here', drivel:

"The mist in the air that we see in those places, including here, is not a feature of pollution primarily but a feature of evaporation and humidity," he told the IOC's annual session. "We do have a communication problem here. Once the misconception has become sort of established in the minds of people, it's not that easy to get the right message through. I would not discourage athletes from wearing protection devices if they are concerned, but I do not think it is necessary. I would not wear one whether I was an athlete or not." (Guardian)

Translation: It's smog, but we'd appreciate it if you used the approved terms, 'evaporation and humidity'. Also, if you don't relish sucking in all that evaporation and humidity, wearing a mask is not utterly asinine.

After Arne spread the 'lie', the proper smog measuring authorities swore to it:

Official readings collated by Beijing's municipal environmental protection bureau yesterday gave an air pollution index (API) of 91 for Beijing as a whole, and 87 at the Olympic stadium. The World Health Organisation regards an API of more than 50 as high, and a reading of 100 or more is considered unsafe. The authorities monitor air quality hourly, including levels of particulates, carbon monoxide and nitrogen dioxide, and take limited readings for ozone.

After spreading more fertilizer about media overkill, Arne cut to the chase.

"Those [WHO] standards are fairly tough to meet, but in many respects the Beijing area does so. I'm sure, I'm confident the air quality will not prove to pose major problems to the athletes and to the visitors in Beijing," he said. "We have had some readings that were above the interim target data, but since then they have gone down and been below that level. We will evaluate those [pollution levels] and, should problems arise, we may have to take some action."

"To come to a city even though the air quality [might be] inferior, the long-term effects should no longer be feared by temporary visitors," he said. (Guardian)

Translation: It's smog and it sucks. It's what you should expect from a third world pesthole with delusions of grandeur. Otherwise, China is a nice place to visit, BRIEFLY, if you don't inhale too deeply. Also, if you stay too long, your lungs might rot. Gee, thanks for those reassuring words, Arne. We're supposed to believe your bull crap about the asshats who keep sending us poisoned products? I don't think so, Tim.

JULY 2008

Spinning For Barry
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [07/31/08]

I’ve seen a couple items, one from an Ethnocrat, and another from a blithering L.A. Times staff idiot, James Rainey, that tries to paint Messiah Barry the Blessed as the loser, when it comes to MSM bashing. The ‘Times’ piece is a real piece of spin-doctored work, the kind of self-serving, lefty claptrap that has put the fishwrap on the fast track to richly deserved oblivion.

The Center for Media and Public Affairs at George Mason University, where researchers have tracked network news content for two decades, found that ABC, NBC and CBS were tougher on Obama than on Republican John McCain during the first six weeks of the general-election campaign. You read it right: tougher on the Democrat.

During the evening news, the majority of statements from reporters and anchors on all three networks are neutral, the center found. And when network news people ventured opinions in recent weeks, 28% of the statements were positive for Obama and 72% negative.

Network reporting also tilted against McCain, but far less dramatically, with 43% of the statements positive and 57% negative, according to the Washington-based media center.

As usual, the devil is in the details:

* Only the ‘Network News’ shows on ABC, NBC, CBS were measured, along with Fox’s ‘Special Report with Britt Hume’.

* Reporting that Messiah Barry "has problems" with white men and suburban women was counted as a ‘negative’ report against the Messiah

* The period measured ended, conveniently, on the first day that Messiah Barry perpetrated his world-spanning victory lap.

* NBC’s 24 hour a day Messiah Barry broadcast blowjob, MSNBC, was NOT included.

* CNN’s unrelenting Obama ass-kissing was NOT included.

This appears to be a foregone, MSM whitewashing, conclusion wherein the ‘data’ was hand-picked to achieve the desired results.

Going Batty
Source: News. AU [07/23/08]

An Aussie Elected Tormentor, New South Wales Premier, Morris Iemma, has his assigned patch of Australia so Edenesque that only one thing stands between his realm and perfection: Batman. That’s right Batman. It’s not Adam West’s Batman or Michael Keaton's. It’s the new caped crusader flick, ‘The Dark Knight’ that is setting new box office records. And what, you ask, is Morris’ beef with the Bat Dude? It’s the usual ‘for the children’ bull crap:

Mr Iemma says it is inappropriate for Hungry Jacks to offer toys promoting the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight, with their children's meals.

The Dark Knight is classified M for mature audiences. The Premier, a father of four, says it sends the wrong message.

"It puts undue pressure on parents who are trying to explain to children why they can not see the movie,'' Mr Iemma said. "It is hard enough for parents to resist a child's plea for toys let alone ones promoting an adult movie when they're free with kiddie meals.''

Mr Iemma says that with Hungry Jacks advertising the promotion during children's programming, television stations should also consider pulling the ad during those times. (News.AU)

I had no idea that the return address for ‘heaven on earth’ reads ‘New South Wales’. I always thought it was The Sanctuary City of Angels where Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion is located. Learn something new every day.

Media Meatheads Daily Double
Source: PIG News Wire [07/18/08]

Cookie Monster?
If we didn’t know better, we’d swear that Messiah Barry arranged for these regular incidents to give him a chance to play the victim. After all, martyr is one of the fates that might befall a self-anointed Messiah.

This week’s edition of ‘Poor Barry’ is brought to you by a noisy speed bump on your boob tube dial called "The McLaughlin Group". Newsmax served up these thrilling, Poor Barry, facts:

[John] McLaughlin, host of "The McLaughlin Group," was discussing Obama's relationship with the Rev. Jesse Jackson, in the aftermath of Jackson stating that Obama has been condescending toward black people.

“Does it frost Jackson, Jesse Jackson, that someone like Obama, who fits the stereotype blacks once labeled as an Oreo — a black on the outside, a white on the inside — that an Oreo should be the beneficiary of the long civil rights struggle which Jesse Jackson spent his lifetime fighting for,” McLaughlin asked.

Panelist Peter Beinart said such a description of Obama was "completely unfair." Fellow panelist Michelle Bernard said: "If Barack Obama is an Oreo, then every member of this generation of African-Americans is an Oreo, because we stand on the shoulders of the people who fought for our rights, and all of us say that you cannot blame 'the man' or white racism for everything that ails the black community."

Since McLaughlin is an oppressor, that qualifies him for the requisite, ‘Whitey seeks absolution for his sins’ apology tour, the first stop of which involves groveling at Al Sharpton’s feet. Pucker up, Johnny boy, it’s time to smooch some Rev. Al butt.

Snooty Big Apple Humor Falls Short
By now, you’ve all seen the New Yorker cover image that has Messiah Barry and his acolytes setting their hair on fire. Loyal Obamatons, and assorted other Barryholics, have castigated the image as "tasteless and offensive", "incendiary", and numerous other things, making it one of the most downloaded on the Internet, this week.

Allegedly, the cover graphic is a shot at the VRWC and the numerous slings and arrows those dastardly right-wingnuts aim at Messiah Barry. If that’s their intention they missed the mark. For those of you who have been huddled in a cave, we’ll serve up the essentials of the image:

* The setting appears to be in the Oval Office.
* There’s an image of Osama hanging over a fireplace.
* There’s an American flag burning in the fireplace.
* In the foreground, a turban-wearing Messiah Barry is doing the ‘terrorist fist bump’ with his wife who has an AK-47 slung over her shoulder.

Are we shocked, dismayed or outraged over this fatally-flawed attempt at satire? Not really, although, we are, truth be told, detecting the early warning signs of Obamatonitis in one of our PIG Bunker denizens.

The furor over this image shows how thin-skinned - and thus utterly unsuited, temperamentally - Messiah Barry is for the most important, most challenging, job in the world.

Names In the News
Source: PIG News Wire [07/11/08]

Elvis
When you’re planning that summer vacation, you might want to pencil in a visit to Hattiesburg, Mississippi. What, you ask, is so noteworthy about this wide spot on U.S. 49 North? Among other things, that’s where a dude named Andy Key has set up his - we are NOT making this up - Elvis is Alive Museum.

Andy might not be up to speed on the Elvis is a Gypsy front, but he is locked and loaded with ‘proof’ that Elvis is alive:

‘...[Andy] can recite a litany of facts disproving the myth that Elvis is dead - from the misspelling of his middle name on his tomb to the DNA mismatch between his postmortem autopsy and a biopsy taken years earlier.

It get a little fuzzier, when Key explains why the beloved rock 'n' roll icon would orchestrate such a stunt. One theory is that Presley, as an undercover agent for the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency, was forced to fake his own death for the sake of his work in a sting operation against the Mafia.

As for who or what is in Elvis's casket, lovingly reproduced in a dimly-lit room with gospel music playing in the background, well - there are conflicting stories.

"Some people think it's Colonel Parker's stepson, who died in California, but there was no record of his funeral. Another that it was a guy who was terminal, who had plastic surgery to look like Elvis," Key said. Most likely a wax replica was placed in the casket, he suggested. (Hattiesburg American)

So where, you ask, has Elvis been? Andy thinks the King of Rock and Roll might be living in quiet seclusion, on one of the smaller, seldom visited, Hawaiian Islands. Here in the Free State of PIG, we’re offering a different suggestion. Elvis found out about his Gypsy heritage, felt ashamed about neglecting his ancestral roots, so he walked away from everything and devoted the remainder of his life to wandering the globe, in the time-honored Gypsy way. And now, we all know, the rest of the story. If you run into Elvis out on the open road, tell him that the Free State of PIG says ‘howdy’.

Rosie
By now, most of you are up to speed on the Free State of PIG’s likes and dislikes. No doubt you’ve concluded that we have certain unresolved issues with numerous Tinsel Town Twerps. One alleged entertainer who qualifies as ‘not our idea of a good time’ is that lardass lipflapper, Rosie O’Donnell. She gives us a pain, always has...always will.

Despite our freely admitted bias against Rosie, we’re compelled to give her credit where credit is due. This is such an occasion. It happened when Rosie appeared on Cyndi Lauper’s True Colours tour, whatever the hell that is. Putting her mouth on autopilot, Rosie administered this verbal enema on that boob tube blight, ‘The View’:

O’Donnell told the crowd ‘The View’ was “a cute little tea party show turned into a women's prison film, remember 'Born Innocent,' that Linda Blair movie? Remember the broomstick? I know how she felt."
(Trans World News)

That’s a prime example of burning your bridges. At least Rosie had the good sense to get off the damn bridge before torching it.

Parting shot: Is it just us, or does Rosie sound just a teensy bit bitter?

Just Say ‘Bite Me, Troll Breath’
Source: Golden Oinks 2008 [07/04/08]

Yes, we know that this crap is scripted. Yes, we know that the closest these boob tube blights come to ‘reality’ is the commercials and don’t bet the proverbial agriculture endeavor on that. We know all this, and it won’t change our mind, so get over it.

The fun transpired at the end of "A Shot at Love 2", the boob tube blight featuring the world’s horniest, self-aggrandizing troll, Tila Tequila. After torturing the ‘contestants’ who were, inexplicably, vying for allegedly bisexual Tila’s dubious affections, Tila finally made her choice, giving a former Playboy model, Kristy Morgan, unrestricted access to Tila’s trollish charms.

At the magic moment, the show’s producers sprang their surprise. Kelly refused to accept the key to Tila’s heart and said, in essence, "Bite me, horny munchkin Sparky". Still playing her part, Kelly’s post-show comments seem to be saying "Tila is an interesting place to visit, but nobody in the right mind wants to LIVE there". Yes, we know that’s how the script was structured, but watching The Troll get shot down on her own show was, to say the least, Spiffy.

Parting shot: According to Kelly, there are some worthwhile Tila-Kelly fireworks at a forthcoming reunion special on MTV. Be there or be square? That’s your call, the Troll rocks my world, Sparky.

Rosie Sounds Off
Source: PIG News Wire [07/04/08]

By now, most of you are up to speed on the Free State of PIG’s likes and dislikes. No doubt you’ve concluded that we have certain unresolved issues with numerous Tinsel Town Twerps. One alleged entertainer who qualifies as ‘not our idea of a good time’ is that lardass lipflapper, Rosie O’Donnell. She gives us a pain, always has...always will.

O’Donnell told the crowd ‘The View’ was “a cute little tea party show turned into a women's prison film, remember 'Born Innocent,' that Linda Blair movie? Remember the broomstick? I know how she felt."
(Trans World News)

That’s a prime example of burning your bridges. At least Rosie had the good sense to get off the damn bridge before torching it.

Parting shot: Is it just us, or does Rosie sound just a teensy bit bitter?

JUNE 2008

Imus Strikes Again
Source: News Max [06/24/08]

It should have been a much bigger story, but this week’s Don Imus slip of the lip barely registered on the race card wrangler radar. Is he getting better at tap dancing out of harm’s way, or was this, as seems to be the case, ‘no harm, no foul’? Borrowing a page from Fox News’ playbook, we’ll report and let you decide.

It happened while Imus was engaging in some on-air banter with one of his minions, sports announcer Warner Wolf. They were discussing Dallas Cowboys cornerback, Adam "Pacman" Jones’, latest brush with the law. For some reason, Imus asked, "What color is he?" When Warner Wolfe responded "African-American", Imus said it: "There you go. Now we know."

The blowback was far from impressive and Imus handled it much better than he did his infamous ‘Nappy-headed hos’ comment. When hounded for an explanation, Imus came up with a plausible one: "I meant that he [Jones] was being picked on because he’s black." Later, he added:

"What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason. I mean, there’s no reason to arrest this kid six times. Maybe he did something once, but everybody does something once."

When the dust settled, only Adam Jones seemed to be upset with what Imus said. His whining didn’t seem to reach critical mass, since none of the usual Ethnocrat suspects picked up this ball and ran with it. Even the broadcasting suits who hired Imus are shrugging it off.

Nothing to see here, move along? That sums up this new Imus drama nicely.

‘The Incredible Hulk’ Sets Off Smoke Nazis
Source: N. Y. Times [06/16/08]

The Smoke Nazis who infest the American Medical Association have their knickers knotted over the latest flick about the Incredible Hulk. Unlike the more politically correct version released in 2003, this big screen story about the Incredible Hulk is true to the comic book, when it comes to one pesky detail. In the Marvel Comics' 'Hulk' series, American General Thunderbolt Ross - the villain of the piece - ALWAYS has a cigar in his mouth. That detail didn’t make the cut in 2003, but, in 2008, the same character - played by Edward Norton - has that cigar back where it belongs.

The designated whiner is a caterwauling cretin named, Dianne Fenyk, president of the advocacy group A.M.A. Alliance. She’s upset with Edward Norton and Marvel Comics, both of whom have, in bygone days, criticized on-screen smoking, in popular films.

"Hollywood studios should be especially embarrassed for using comic-book movies, which they market to children and know youth will want to see, to promote tobacco." (Fenyk as quoted by the Times)

If Rocket Boy and/or Moonbeam decide to take up cigar smoking because they saw a movie villain do it, they’ll learn a valuable lesson. Stogies aren’t for the faint hearted, so, when these young ‘uns get done puking their guts out, they will never try that again. Live and learn? You better believe it, that green skin tone looks good on you Sparky.

Names In the News
Source: PIG News Wire [06/14/08]

Andrea Mitchell
If you couldn’t pick this MSNBC Obamaton out of a lineup, join the club. I suspect that, when you see her picture, you’ll say ‘oh, her’, then get on with your life. While masquerading as a ‘journalist’, this Obama promoting propaganda princess stepped in it...she REALLY stepped in it. Fox News gloats over Andrea’s foot-in-mouth episode by serving up these delicious details:

Mitchell last Thursday was discussing a campaign stop by Barack Obama alongside popular former Virginia Gov. Mark Warner - a current U.S. Senate candidate - when she began describing the territory where Obama's campaign trail led him that day: Bristol, Va.

"Interesting images today: Barack Obama, Mark Warner in southwest Virginia. This is real redneck, sort of bordering-on-Appalachia country. This is not the Northern Virginia, you know, sort of high-tech corridor, and these are voters that he would not logically be, you know, gravitating to. This is the beginning of a pivot," Mitchell said, speaking on-air last Thursday with NBC political director Chuck Todd.

The blowback must have been...memorable, because a few days later, Andrea attempted to extricate her foot from her mouth with this half-hearted "Oops, my bad":

"I owe an apology to the good people of Bristol, Virginia, for something stupid that I said last week. I was trying to explain based on reporting from Democratic strategists why Barack Obama was campaigning in southwest Virginia. But without attribution or explanation, I used a term strategists often use to demean an entire community." (Fox News)

Happily ever after? I doubt it, but, this self-serving bull crap is probably the best she can do.

Mark Steyn
Mired in a ‘hate speech’ bull shit trial by one of Canada’s Human Rights Tribunals, a superb writer named Mark Steyn has no illusions about the outcome. He knows that everyone charged with an ‘offense’ by one of these Kangaroo Courts has been found ‘guilty’. Steyn knows that, in Canada, the ‘truth’ and objective reality are no defense. If someone gets a boo-boo because you got too real, you’re GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY. In Steyn’s case, his ‘sin’ is making Islamikazes feel bad, in his book "America Alone", by telling the truth about their dreams of world conquest and the implementation, by brute force, of Sharia Law. When Maclean’s, a top Canadian magazine, printed an article based on the book, the Islamikazes ran whining to the nearest Human Rights Tribunal.

A man with an exceptional command of the English language, Steyn describes free speech in Canada, this way:

"The problem with so-called hate speech laws is that they're not about facts. They're about feelings."

"What we're learning here is really the bedrock difference between the United States and the countries that are in a broad sense its legal cousins," Steyn added. "Western governments are becoming increasingly comfortable with the regulation of opinion. The First Amendment really does distinguish the U.S., not just from Canada but from the rest of the Western world." (Steyn, as quoted by the International Herald Tribune)

Canada might look like the USA, but, when it comes to liberty, it's mired in Korrectnik-driven tyranny. The question that remains unanswered is this: Are they on a separate path from the USA? Or, are they simply farther down the road to liberty-suffocating Nanny State tyranny than we are? If it’s the latter, you can count on a President Messiah Barry to close that gap.

Tila Tequila
Aside from hyperactive hormones, and an inexplicable - alleged - sex appeal that makes so-called humans of both sexes melt, Tila Tequila is devoid of any meaningful talent. Despite her tentative toe-hold in the ‘entertainment’ industry, Tila has managed to carve out a modest measure of fame, thanks to her MTV reality blight, "Shot At Love". If you’ve managed to miss this intellectual black hole on the boob tube dial, congratulations. All you need to know about the show is that it involves men and women competing for the right to bed this horny Asian troll.

The PIG-worthy fun started - we’re guessing - when Tila stumbled, by accident, over a news story about Mexifornia’s gay marriage debacle. After having a rational adult explain all the big words to her, Tila made a world record leap to an unwarranted conclusion:

“It is because of me. I definitely think (my show) has helped the movement. Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about (same sex relationships). Then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, (gay marriage) is legal.” (MSNBC)

If you’ve got a craving for some horizontal bingo with this horny troll, you better get your passport ready. Why? Tila is going to take her act on the road, when she inflicts herself on her new love: the African continent.

Clint Eastwood
With a pimple on humanity’s butt, Spike Lee, still nipping at his heels, Clint Eastwood bitch-slapped the Spikester, AGAIN, in a recent interview with The Guardian:

"He was complaining when I did Bird [the 1988 biopic of Charlie Parker]. Why would a white guy be doing that? I was the only guy who made it, that's why. He could have gone ahead and made it. Instead he was making something else." As for Flags of Our Fathers, he says, yes, there was a small detachment of black troops on Iwo Jima as a part of a munitions company, "but they didn't raise the flag. The story is Flags of Our Fathers, the famous flag-raising picture, and they didn't do that. If I go ahead and put an African-American actor in there, people'd go, 'This guy's lost his mind.' I mean, it's not accurate."

Lee shouldn't be demanding African-Americans in Eastwood's next picture, either. Changeling is set in Los Angeles during the Depression, before the city's make-up was changed by the large black influx. "What are you going to do, you gonna tell a fuckin' story about that?" he growls. "Make it look like a commercial for an equal opportunity player? I'm not in that game. I'm playing it the way I read it historically, and that's the way it is. When I do a picture and it's 90% black, like Bird, I use 90% black people."

Eastwood pauses, deliberately - once it would have provided him with the beat in which to spit out his cheroot before flinging back his poncho - and offers a last word of advice to the most influential black director in American movies. "A guy like him should shut his face." (Guardian)

Nice smackdown, Clint. Damn nice.

MAY 2008

Names in the News
Source: PIG News Wire [05/30/08]

Clint Eastwood Bitch-Slaps Spike Lee
Alleged filmmaker, Spike Lee, stepped in it when he took a swipe at Clint Eastwood's flicks about World War II: ‘Flags of our Fathers’, ‘Letters from Iwo Jima’. Ignoring objective reality, Lee whined to a Reuters reporter, "Many black veterans who fought in Iwo Jima were hurt that there was no representation of them in both of those films." As usual, Spike is ignoring inconvenient facts.

Clint set the record straight, this week, in an interview with a German magazine named ‘Focus’:

"Does he know anything about American history? The U.S. military was segregated til the Korean War, and the blacks in World War Two were totally segregated. The only black battalion on Iwo Jima was a small munitions supply unit that came to the beach. The story [‘Flags of our Fathers’] was about the men who raised the flag and we can't make them black if they were not there. So tell him: Why don't you go back and study your history and stop mouthing off!"

The other Iwo Jima film, ‘Letters from Iwo Jima’, told about the battle from the Japanese point of view. How, exactly, does Spike Lee expect Eastwood to shoehorn Melanin-Enriched thespians into THAT?

PIG thanks Clint, profusely, for slapping down this race card waving whiner.

Sharon Stone Steps In It
That great thespian, and world renowned deep thinker, Sharon Stone, just tried to add ‘karma wrangler’ to her resume. Heretofore known, primarily, for flashing her nads in ‘Basic Instinct’, Stone painted a Karmic bull’s-eye on China with this prose:

"All these earthquakes and stuff happened and I thought, "Is that karma?" When you are not nice, bad things happen to you. I'm not happy about how the Chinese are treating the Tibetans, I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else. They're not being very nice to the Dali Lama, who's a good friend of mine." (Variety)

For reasons I don’t begin to understand, some Chinese thespians came unhinged over this Karmic bitch-slap from a philosopher of Stone’s caliber:

"This actress does not deserve our attention. The best way is to ignore her. I will never watch her films in future," said thesp Liu Wei, while fellow actor Lu Qilong accused Stone of lacking respect. "Sharon Stone's remarks made all Chinese people and the world shocked and angry. She does not respect the Chinese people, as well as people's lives. Sichuan's earthquake affects everyone's heart," said Lu.

"The earthquake is not only China's disaster, but a disaster for all of mankind. Sharon Stone's performance shows that not only does she lack love, but she lacks humanity? How could she say such things!" said thesp Tong Dawei. (Variety)

Obviously, there is no Chinese lingo equivalent for pertinent truisms like ‘consider the source’ or ‘sticks and stones...’. Learn something new every day.

Going the Extra Mile
Source: Times of London [05/25/08]

A Bollywood (India) mega-hottie named Tania Zaetta had her own ideas on the proper way to entertain the troops when she paid them a visit in Afghanistan. The fun came to light - delight, is more appropriate - when somebody leaked the contents of confidential briefing paper sent to the Australian Defence Minister:

A Bollywood starlet who made her name going beyond the call of duty in Who Dares Wins, an Australian TV stunt show, has been accused of having sex with soldiers while on a tour to entertain troops in Afghanistan. Tania Zaetta...was named in a confidential briefing paper to Australia’s Defence Minister as having slept with special forces soldiers last month at a military base in Tarin Kowt, the capital of Oruzgan province. Pictures and a video were said to have been taken. (Times of London)

As expected, the news has set off a predictable set of aftershocks. First, the Aussie military served up an ‘oops, our bad’ for naming this hottie who takes ‘supporting’ the troops to the limit. Next, the hottie issued the requisite denial, then demanded to know how such a confidential document got leaked in the first place. That sound you hear is a circling of the wagons to protect the reputation of the hottie. Elsewhere, the minions in the Aussie Defence Ministry are frantically searching for the person who leaked this information.

Here in the Free State of PIG we’re willing to congratulate any special forces warrior who got some special support from the hottie. We’re ready to withhold judgement, until we’ve seen all the evidence, so anybody who has copies of the ‘pictures and video’ of this magic, support the troops, moment should get it into our hot, horndog hands, stat.

A PIG-Worthy Promotion Scheme
Source: ESPN [05/22/08]

Larry Craig, the Elected Tormentor who played the staring role in that notorious outburst of airport bathroom footsie, has just been, uh, immortalized. Eager to capitalize on Larry’s infamy, the St. Paul Saints (a minor league baseball team), are giving away mementos of Larry and his wide stance:

The St. Paul Saints will give away 2,500 "bobble foot" dolls before Sunday's game at Midway Stadium.

The baseball team says the promotion, which coincides with National Tap Dance Day, is "in tribute to all their toe-tapping friends and fans from around the nation who may ever have set foot in Minneapolis-St. Paul… even for just a change of planes. The one-of-a-kind collector’s item depicts a restroom stall and a bobble foot peaking out from underneath." (ESPN)

I wonder if they asked ‘Wide Stance’ Larry to throw out the first pitch? On second thought, they should put a bathroom stall on the pitcher’s mound and have him ‘wide stance’ the ball to the catcher. Bold new concept.

PIGish kudos go out to the St. Paul Saints for an inspirational, utterly inKorrect promotion.

Going the Extra Mile
Source: Times of London [05/23/08]

A Bollywood starlet who made her name going beyond the call of duty in Who Dares Wins, an Australian TV stunt show, has been accused of having sex with soldiers while on a tour to entertain troops in Afghanistan. Tania Zaetta...was named in a confidential briefing paper to Australia’s Defence Minister as having slept with special forces soldiers last month at a military base in Tarin Kowt, the capital of Oruzgan province. Pictures and a video were said to have been taken. (Times of London)

A Hellish Talk Radio Moment
Source: Tasty Tidbits [05/13/08]

If I knew where a certain PIGster lives, I’d dispatch Spike the Wonder Tyke to kick him in the nuts for injecting this hellish idea into our heads. Okay, maybe it’s not his fault, since all he did was send me a link to a Town Hall column by a VRWC boom box bloviator named Mike Gallagher. In his column, Gallagher shares this nightmarish notion that was served up by a caller, Tim:

“Mike”, he started. “Something came to me last night while I was watching the TV coverage of the primaries in Indiana and North Carolina. I was wondering just who John McCain might pick as a running mate and it hit me like a ton of bricks: I predict that after Hillary is finally forced out of the race, McCain will shock the world and pick Hillary Clinton as his vice-presidential candidate!”

Think about that for a minute. “McCain/Clinton 2008.”

After I pulled myself off the floor and sat back down in my chair, I asked Tim from Atlanta how that idea could possibly have any merit.

“It’s simple”, he replied. “The media keeps beating the drum about bi-partisan cooperation in Washington in order to get things done. People continue to harp about being tired of all this bickering and politicking and fighting. McCain is well known for wanting to reach across the aisle and work with Democrats – who could forget McCain/Feingold – and it’s pretty much understood that Madame Hillary would do just about anything to get back to the White House,” he said. “A McCain/Clinton ticket would be virtually unstoppable!”

Now that I think about it, I better get Spike the Wonder Tyke geared up for a road trip. First stop, PIGster B. W. Second stop, Mike Gallagher. Third stop, the one that calls for EXTREME measures, will be Tim the caller. The Free State of PIG will overlook his fondness for Mike Gallagher, but McCain and Clinton? You’re a dead man, TIM.

APRIL 2008

Batman Lets It All Hang Out
Source: The Virginia Gazette [04/26/08]

Eager to give her tyke something to occupy his time, a James City (Virginia) mom perused the DVDs in the bargain bin at a local Target store. After looking over several of them, she decided that a Batman cartoon would be perfect for her little man. The DVD seemed tame enough and the packaging seemed regulation, so she pulled the trigger on the purchase and launched some big time fun.

Did she get her money’s worth? That depends on your point of view. The ‘bats’ on display weren’t some flying mammals and they weren't a caped crime fighter. The bats on this DVD were the kind you’re likely to see in firing condition in a - TA DA - gay porn movie:

“It was sealed in the package, just like any DVD,” she said. “I opened it, put it in the player and went into the kitchen. I heard my son scream, and when I went to check on him, instead of Batman the screen had three men on it, one of whom had no pants on.”

She recalled seeing the words “Titan Man” or a similar reference on the screen. Titan Media is a company that produces gay porn films. The mother quickly shut the disc off. When she took it out she noticed that instead of a professionally produced disc with graphics promoting the movie title, it was blank, suggesting it was burned on a home computer.

“It’s not unusual for a discount disc to have very little text on it,” she said. “I didn’t really look at it when I put it in.”

When she returned the disc to Target, a store manager confirmed that it was the third such incident since Christmas. Later, when a reporter tried to get the store manager for that Target store on the phone, the news monkey was put on hold after which they were disconnected. Target’s corporate suits tried to stonewall, for a while, then admitted that yes, this incident had taken place, but they insisted it was an "isolated" event.

If you’re in the mood for a viewing adventure, surf the DVD bargain bins at Target. You never know what you’ll discover on your boob tube screen. Happy hunting, PIGsters.

Proof That American Culture Is Circling the Bowl?
Source: The Superficial [04/23/08]

If you entertain any doubts that the land conceived in liberty is going to crap, consider this item from one of our guilty cyberspace pleasures, ‘The Superficial’:

Good morning! There's nothing like waking up to a slap in the face by the fact that our country is barreling towards rampant retardation at friggin' lightspeed. The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (I'll assume formed by Mr. Wizard) has announced that reality TV hosts such as Tyra Banks (above) and Ryan Seacrest are now eligible for an Emmy. Whoopee! The AP reports:

The award recognizes that reality TV has become "an integral part of television and our culture," John Shaffner, chairman and CEO of the TV academy, said in a statement Tuesday announcing the new honor.

Besides Seacrest of "American Idol," Mandel of "Deal or No Deal" and Banks of "America's Next Top Model," other potential nominees identified by the academy include Ty Pennington of "Extreme Makeover Home Edition," Jeff Foxworthy of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" and Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris of "Dancing With the Stars."

If Jeff Foxworthy wins for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, then it's official; the terrorists have won. And I'm talking big time. Sort of like if the Harlem Globetrotters challenged Gary Coleman to a Slam Dunk Contest - but beforehand they tied his shoe laces together.

Here in the Free State of PIG we’re partial to Jeff "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" Foxworthy, but we’ll forgive the scribes at The Superficial because that line about challenging Gary Coleman to a Slam Dunk Contest is a keeper.

Names in The News
Source: PIG News Wire [04/18/08]

Dr. Phil
That self-aggrandizing nitwit, Dr. Phil, is trying to hitch his star to another name in the news. The last time he went pimping for some media attention, he tried to horn in on Twatney Spears meltdown. Twatney might be trailer trash and clinically bonkers, but she still had enough intellectual firepower to steer clear of Dr. Phil’s sideshow.

This time around, Dr. Phil is trying for much lower hanging fruit, one of the 8 teenagers charged with beating that cheerleader in Flori-DUH. According to a Flori-DUH boob tube report, Dr. Phil is willing to put his money where his mouth is, to guarantee his moment in the media spotlight:

A bail bondsman Saturday said Dr. Phil McGraw paid the bond for Mercades Nichols, the alleged ringleader of the attack. When Nichols left the jail Friday, a man claiming to be Dr. Phil's producer helped get Nichols and her mother out of the jail. The producer apparently told other reporters to leave, because the "Dr. Phil" show had exclusive rights to Nichols' story. (Central Florida’s News 13)

Dr. Phil proved himself gutless to the core when this item reached critical News Nitwit mass on the cable news networks. Instead of manning up and accepting the blame, he dispatched one of producers of the show to fall on that sword for him. The last we heard, they were backing away and had cancelled this forthcoming show.

Parting shot: Dr. Phil seems to determined to wrest that "Biggest Jackass in Television" crown from Keith Olbermann. Congratulations Phil, you’re within striking distance.

Brigitte Bardot
At age 73, Brigitte Bardot’s sex kitten days are a distant memory. We’re pleased to report that Brigitte is still our idea of a good time, thanks to her refusal to be silenced by a Korrectnik-infested Nanny State. Despite four ‘show trials’ for "inciting racial hatred", Brigitte continues to speak her mind about the Islamikaze horde that infested her native land:

"I am fed up with being under the thumb of this population which is destroying us, destroying our country and imposing its acts," the star of 'And God Created Woman' and 'Contempt' said. Bardot has previously said France is being invaded by sheep-slaughtering Muslims and published a book attacking gays, immigrants and the unemployed, in which she also lamented the "Islamisation of France." (Reuters)

Shrugging off mounting fines - 1,500 euros in 1997, 5,000 euros the last time out and 15,000 euros this time - Brigitte shows no signs of backing down. The Free State of PIG dares to opine that her passionate devotion to speaking her mind, makes Brigitte especially ‘sexy’ in our eyes. Give the Islamikazes hell, darlin’.

Jason Beghe
If you couldn’t pick Jason out of a lineup, join the club. He’s probably one of those "oh, him" types whom you’d recognize from his stints on shows like "Criminal Minds" and "CSI". On the big screen, he had the delightful task of being Demi Moore’s love interest in "G. I. Jane". Nice work if you can get it.

Jason’s claim to fame here in the PIGdom has nothing to do with his acting career. It has everything to do with the fact that he went over to the dark side in 1994, when he started taking some Scientology courses. The Free State of PIG is pleased to report that, 14 years later, Jason has throwing Tom Cruise’s bull crap under the bus in a video that’s making the rounds at YouTube:

This is what he has to say: "Scientology is destructive and a rip-off." He also says: "It’s very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health and evolution. I think it stunts your evolution. If Scientology is real, then something’s f---ed up."

You can see from the video that Beghe does not mince words. But his refreshing candor about the religion he joined in 1994 should shake the Celebrity Center to its core. "It ain’t deliverin’ what it’s promised. It sure has not."

Beghe reveals: "The further up the bridge, the worse you get." He adds: "I don’t have an agenda. I’m just trying to help. I have the luxury of having gotten into Scientology and after having been in it, been out. And that’s a perspective that people who are still in and not out do not have." (Fox 411)

If you’re thinking Jason is some Scientology bottom feeder who got tired of life in the cult’s dungeon, get over it. Like Twerpy Tommy and John Travolta, Jason has matriculated up to the lofty - by Scientology standards - rank of "OT 5". We’re impressed that he is able to shake off that much bull crap and reconnect with objective reality. Welcome back to the real world, Jason.

Amazingly Entertaining Tales
Source: PIG New Wire [04/11/08]

Hugostan Goes Decency Bonkers
Hugo "Skipper" Chavez’s Socialist paradise is developing a sense of humor. Apparently that notorious Hugo mirth is contagious. The fun started when some Venezuelan cousins of Brent Bozell started flooding the National Telecommunications Commission with complaints about a certain ‘uncool for THE CHILDREN’ programming that Televen TV was airing at 11 a.m.

According to the complaints, the show in question violates Hugostan’s rules of engagement prohibiting "messages that go against the whole education of boys, girls and adolescents." The show is, this Hugostan version of the FCC decreed, inappropriate for children. As a result, it was yanked and replaced with something more suitable.

The show that’s causing all this Hugostan heartburn is, believe it or not, ‘The Simpsons’, a show that was so popular it had the highest viewership for that morning timetable in Televen’s history. And how, you ask, did Televen fill that 11 a.m. slot? You’re going to love it:

"Baywatch," which features bikini-clad bombshells and musclebound hunks working as lifeguards on the Hawaiian coast, has been running in the 11 a.m. slot since Friday.

The station has not received any complaints about that show, General Manager German Perez Nahim told the Venezuelan newspaper Ultimas Noticias in its Friday editions. (S. F. Chronicle)

I know what you’re thinking, horndog Sparky, but it’s not THAT thrilling. The replacement show is - GROAN - ‘Baywatch Hawaii’.

Alicia Keys Goes Conspiracy Bonkers
I’m bummed to report that the newest conspiracy buff on the block is singer Alicia Keys. The MyWay site posted a news item that included this annoying revelation:

There's another side to Alicia Keys: conspiracy theorist. The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: "'Gangsta rap' was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. 'Gangsta rap' didn't exist."

Keys, 27, said she's read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck "to symbolize strength, power and killing 'em dead," according to an interview in the magazine's May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

Another of her theories: That the bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing." (MyWay)

Alicia Keys is a talented artist, one whose music I have enjoyed since she released her first album. In bygone days, she came across as a level-headed young woman who was putting her musical talent ahead of sex appeal. I respect her for that. It’s a damn shame to see her veer onto the Ethnocrat superhighway to chronic victimhood with Rev. Wright, Calypso Louie, Barack O’Dumbo and all the other whiners who see the great white bigot lurking behind every tree.

Alicia, I still like your music, but, as long as you’ve got your head shoved up your butt, you’re off Hambo’s playlist.

'Fitna' Fallout
Source: PIG News Wire [04/04/08]

Geert Wilders flick elicited some predictable responses from shocked, dismayed and outraged Islamikazes. It also got some incoming fire from myopic Infidels who prove Geert’s contention that some westerners need to wake up before it’s too damn late. Here’s a random sample gleaned from various news sources:

"...[It’s] highly offensive. It is an obvious attempt to generate discord between faith communities," Smith said. "I strongly reject the ideas contained in the film and deplore its release." (Australia’s Foreign Minister Stephen Smith)

The gutless dweebs running the European Union blubbered that the film would inflame hatred.

The Black Helicopter Club’s Secretary-General, Ban-Ki moon, spouted mindless, Jihadikaze coddling drivel accusing Geert of perpetrating ‘hate speech’ that would incite Jihadikaze violence.

Iran has summoned the Dutch ambassador to Tehran to discuss the film.

Jordanian lawmakers are taking more severe diplomatic measures and demanded their government cut ties with the Netherlands. Fifty-three lawmakers in the 110-seat parliament have also called for the government to dismiss the Dutch envoy.

Pakistan's foreign ministry on Friday summoned the ambassador of the Netherlands in Islamabad and lodged a "strong protest", according to AFP. It has stepped up the security of the Dutch consulate and businesses in Karachi fearing protests over the release of the film.

In the predictable parts of the world, Islamikaze rage-a-holics with nothing better to do took to the streets to shout the usual ‘death to whomever’ pleasantries.

The Free State of PIG is compelled to give Geert Wilders the last word:

"People who watch the movie will see that the Koran is very much alive today, leading to the destruction of everything we in the Western world stand for, which is respect and tolerance."

MARCH 2008

PIG-Worthy Scraps from the News Nitwit Table
Source: PIG News Wire [03/21/08]

Project for Excellence in Journalism finds that - GASP - "conservatives" are an endangered News Nitwit species.

Only 6 percent of the national press corps describe themselves as "conservative" in a population that includes reporters, editors and producers from major television and radio networks, daily newspapers, news wires and online sources.

Those who consider themselves "very conservative" amount to just 2 percent, according to a wide-ranging survey of 585 journalists and news executives released yesterday by the Project for Excellence in Journalism.

In contrast, 36 percent of the overall population generally consider themselves conservative.

There are more conservatives in broadcast than print — 10 percent and 2 percent, respectively. Among online journalists the figure was 8 percent.

The majority of nationally ranked journalists — 53 percent — described themselves as moderate, 24 percent were liberal and 8 percent "very liberal."

"Moderate"? Give me a break. The only memorable tidbit in this piece is the data that shows 53% of the relevant News Nitwits act like that ‘liberal’ label is tainted with ebola.

Minor League? Not When It Comes To Incorrect Fun
Source: PIG’s Tasty Tidbits [03/13/08]

A minor league baseball team, the Macon (Georgia) Music, seized the moment and got an Eliot Spitzer night locked and loaded for June 13th. This promotion is crammed full of goodies, as you’ll soon find out for yourself.

The plans call for an invitation extended to Spitzer to attend the game and throw out the first pitch. Other elements for the promotion include:

- The Music will give away a trip to New York and a one-night stay at the Mayflower Hotel [In D.C.].

- The ninth fan – or Client No. 9, as Spitzer was known in the prostitution ring – into the ballpark will receive a free Music prize pack.

- Fans with the name Eliot, Spitzer or Kristen, along with any fan from New York, will receive $1 off admission. Any fan who has ever resigned a position will also receive $1 off admission.

- The Music will play Frank Sinatra songs throughout the night.

- Wire taps will be placed around the stadium.

- Fans will be able to use ATMs in the ballpark available for cash withdrawals not to exceed $5,000 per hour.

- The 871st fan through the gates will receive a gift certificate for the team store. (Macon Telegraph)

The scribes at the Macon Telegraph felt the need to mention that, so far, Eliot Spitzer hadn’t ‘accepted or declined the invitation to attend the game'. Call us names if you must but we say forget Eliot. The one you want to attend - wearing that spiffy bikini of hers - is Eliot’s hottie, Ashley Dupre. Ask her to throw out the first pitch and you’ll have standing room only.

Parting shot: PIG is pleased to declare that the American sense of politically incorrect humor is alive and well in our minor league sports franchises.

Decency On the Docket
Source: Shallow Pagan Scribbler Thoughts [03/07/08]

According to the City of Angel’s egregiously liberal fishwrap, the L. A. Times, America’s top court is locked and loaded to have another look at ‘indecency’ on the allegedly public airwaves. If all goes according to plan, the court could come down with a ruling that pinpoints where that ‘indecency’ line in the sand must be drawn.

The latest case reached critical mass after the Decency Gestapo, the FCC, nailed some boob tube networks for spontaneous outburst of profanity. Brent Bozell and his minions might call these doses of reality "fleeting expletives". I would call them the unintended consequences of a ‘live’ broadcast:

"This is really, really f---ing brilliant," rock singer Bono exclaimed when accepting a Golden Globes Award for the Best Original Song in 2003. His comment was broadcast live on NBC.

Upon receiving a Billboard Music Award for career achievement, Cher said the honor proved her critics wrong. "So f--- 'em. I still have a job and they don't," she said on Fox TV. (L.A. Times)

Thanks to Brent Bozell and his merry band of First Amendment hating Goose-Steppers, the FCC imposed a new policy that painted a fine-imposing bull’s-eye on any broadcaster that aired these "fleeting expletives". In record time, Fox and several other networks took the FCC to court and got a favorable ruling from an appeals court in New York which deemed the FCC edict ‘arbitrary and vague’. The court also hinted that the edict might violate the First Amendment.

Unwilling to tolerate this outburst of free speech liberty, the FCC booted the matter to the top of the judicial ladder where, there’s a remote possibility that liberty might prevail. Having the Supreme Court tell the FCC, Bozell and Don Wildmon to "bite me" would be thrilling, but I won’t hold my breath waiting for it.

Russert In The Bull’s-Eye
Source: Newsmax [03/03/08]

George Soros and his Marxist Meathead henchmen at Media Matters are outraged that Tim Russert showed some spine, for a change, and fired hard questions at - GASP - Demoncrat presidential candidates. Russert’s primary sin is ‘ignoring important issues such as the mortgage crisis, global warming, wiretapping and executive power, while questioning Dennis Kucinich about his claim to have seen a UFO and John Edwards about his expensive haircut’ (Newsmax).

The Media Matters Marxist Meatheads are livid over the fact that Russert grilled Barack O’Dumbo (Soros hand-picked stooge to play president, while he, George, pulls the strings) about that endorsement Calypso Louis Fararakhan gave O’Dumbo.

Newsmax also cites these cardinal - off with his head - sins committed by Russert against Demoncrats and ‘progressives’ over the years:

# During an interview with Hillary Clinton in January, Russert aired a clip that he said showed Bill Clinton charging that Obama’s presidential campaign was “the biggest fairy tale I’ve ever seen.” In fact, Media Matters maintains, the reference was to Obama’s record of opposition to the Iraq war, not to his candidacy.

# After the January presidential debate, Russert “misrepresented” statements by Obama, Hillary, and Edwards to suggest their positions had shifted since a September 2007 debate, according to Media Matters.

# In 2006, Russert “falsely” claimed that one-third of convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff’s money went to Democrats, when that allegation had previously been debunked.

# In November 2006, Russert suggested that Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid opposed the creation of the Office of Public Integrity to promote lobbying reform, when in fact he had introduced legislation calling for the creation of that office.

I’ve never been a Tim Russert fan, and that’s not likely to change. Despite that, I’m willing to cut him some slack, in the future, because he’s pissing off the ‘right’ people. Is Hambo invoking "the enemy of my enemy is my friend"? You better damn believe it, Sparky. Anyone...anything...that gives George Soros and his Media Matters Marxist Meathead heartburn is okey dokey in my book.

FEBRUARY 2008

FCC Gets Toehold In Cyberspace
Source: PIG News Wire [02/29/08]

It’s called ‘net neutrality’ and it’s a very contentious subject, up and down Messiah Al’s information superhighway. When you cut through all the crap, net neutrality is about property rights. It’s about the right of your service provider to set forth its own rules of engagement when someone signs up to access cyberspace using the provider’s Internet portal.

Providers want to charge ‘high volume’ users - those who do file sharing or perform other major downloads - more than they do Joe Sixpack who just wants to see the latest Twatney naked nads photo on The Superficial. Net neutrality supporters insist that all Internet users - casual surfers and heavy downloaders - be treated equally when it comes to access and the price they’re required to pay.

Some providers - a recent CC Times news story cited Comcast - have very quietly, imposed their own rules of engagement without telling the whole world. Comcast blocks file sharers and those performing heavy duty downloads to create more bandwidth for the casual web surfers. Comcast denies the accusations of ‘blocking’, but does admit that they send those file sharers and downloaders on the cyberspace equivalent of the scenic, circuitous, route to their destination. No harm, no foul? Not necessarily, now that the FCC is sticking its nose where it doesn’t belong:

At a hearing about allegations of traffic discrimination by Comcast Corp., the Federal Communications Commission chairman said the complaints underscore the need to enforce the FCC's current broad principles intended to promote so-called "Net neutrality."

"The commission is ready, willing and able to step in if necessary to correct any practices that are ongoing today," FCC Chairman Kevin Martin said in opening statements of the hearing at Harvard Law School's Berkman Center for Internet and Society.

Martin said service providers should be allowed to take reasonable steps to make efficient use of their networks at a time when consumers' growing appetite for Web video threatens to bump up against networks' capacity limits. But he said such management policies must be disclosed.

"Consumers need to know if and how network management practices distinguish between different applications, so they can configure their own applications and systems properly," Martin said. (CC Times)

No matter what you think about net neutrality - I admit I’m still sorting it out in my own mind - there’s one thing that’s a given. The last damn thing any rational adult wants - or needs - is the FCC, and/or any other element of the great American Nanny State, starting to dictate rules of engagement for cyberspace. We’ve seen how that evolves with the ‘public airwaves’. First, they deal with technical issues - like net neutrality - but once they wedge their foot in that opened door, they start dictating the content of the medium they are ‘regulating’. You can call that anything you want, but I have another word for it CENSORSHIP.

Parting shot: Wherever the FCC goose-steps into the picture, the first casualty is our liberty. Free speech and the FCC are the broadcast equivalent of matter and antimatter. Whenever they come into contact - KA- BOOM!

Names in the News
Source: PIG’s Golden Oinks 2008 [02/22/08]

Mikey Jackson
Tragically deluded - what else is new - Mikey Jackson hatched a plan to transform the 2008 Grammy Awards show into an infomerical for his ‘new’ album, the 25th Anniversary edition of his ‘Thriller’. Determined to recapture those glory days, he gave the Grammy Awards producers their marching orders, for all the good it did him.

Thanks to his insane demands, he aced himself out of an appearance at the Grammy Awards:

‘...[Mikey’s] appearance was cancelled after the 49-year-old reportedly demanded that the entire event dedicated to him, the New York Post claims.

Among other bizarre requests was that he be referred to as the King of Pop no less than 30 times during the ceremony.

He also insisted on receiving a special award that no one had received before and never would again, and wanted a special honoree to introduce him.

The pop singer's appearance at the Grammys would have been a huge boost for his recently released 25th anniversary edition of Thriller...’ (Telegraph)

PIG has issues with the ‘entertainment industry’ and its caterwauling cadre of Korrectniks. That’s not likely to change in your lifetime, Sparky, but we’re ready willing and eager to salute the Grammy Awards producers for bitch-slapping Mikey.

Wikipedia
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia lurking in cyberspace, is no stranger to criticism. In bygone days it has - and still does - take a pounding for the dubious quality of the facts presented in some of its entries. The encyclopedia wranglers took steps to resolve those issues, but the criticism - some of it deserved - continues.

This week, we hear that, once again, Wikipedia is under assault. This time, it’s the Mecca Maniacs (180,000 of the whining bastards) who have mounted an organized campaign to remove certain ‘offensive’ material from selected Wikipedia entries. This whine - like so many others - condemns the use of ‘Persian and Ottoman miniatures dating from the 14th, 15th, and 16th centuries’ which show the Mecca Maniac prophet. The key fact here is that the images don’t appear on Arabic Wikipedia sites, but do appear on ‘European-language pages’.

Unwilling to buckle under for these caterwauling supernaturalists, Wikipedia’s encyclopedia wranglers posted this response:

'Wikipedia recognises that there are cultural traditions among some Muslim groups that prohibit depictions of Muhammad and other prophets and that some Muslims are offended when those traditions are violated. However, the prohibitions are not universal among Muslim communities, particularly with the Shia who, while prohibiting the images, are less strict about it.

'Since Wikipedia is an encyclopedia with the goal of representing all topics from a neutral point of view, Wikipedia is not censored for the benefit of any particular group.

'So long as they are relevant to the article and do not violate any of Wikipedia's existing policies, nor the law of the US state of Florida where Wikipedia's servers are hosted, no content or images will be removed because people find them objectionable or offensive.' (Wikipedia statement as presented in The Observer).

That’s an award winning "bite me", PIGsters.

Whining About ‘Juno’
Source: S. F. Chronicle [02/14/08]

A San Rafael (Mexifornia) real estate agent, Lo Mei Seh, has her panties in a wad over a snarky line that was featured in the widely-distributed theatrical trailer for the Academy Award nominated flick, ‘Juno’. The moment she heard it Seh, the mother of two adopted Chinese girls, took this bit of movie magic very personally:

‘...In one scene, the title character sarcastically tells the rich suburban couple hoping to adopt her unborn child, "You shoulda gone to China. You know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those T-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events."...’ (S. F. Chronicle)

Seh was starting to cope, but the scene kept popping up to bug her again. First, it was screened at the Golden Globes press conference, then it showed up at the Screen Actors Guild awards, a short time later. With the Academy Awards Show on the near horizon, Seh took action to prevent a boo-boo inducing movie awards trifecta:

‘...With "Juno" nominated for four Oscars this year, including best picture and best actress, Seh became concerned that the iPod clip would be shown again, this time to a potential audience of more than 1 billion people around the world. She wrote the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

The academy is paying attention. Last week, Seh got a call from academy President Sid Ganis, who said in a voice-mail message that he had gotten her letter, was sympathetic to her concerns, and would pass it on to others. The academy, through communications director Leslie Unger, confirmed it had heard from more than one person on the issue. Seh says she hopes the offending clip won't be broadcast when the awards air Feb. 24...’ (Chronicle)

Is the line funny? You bet. Is it an accurate depiction of the current state of Chinese adoptions? That depends on whom you believe. The usual Korrectnik suspects respond with an emphatic "No". Rational adults seem to be willing to examine the issue on a case by case level. Personally, I don’t trust the Chinese government as far as I can throw the planet Saturn. They’re not to be trusted, so I view this adoption thing with considerable skepticism.

Parting shot: Speaking of Chinese girls, I stumbled over this ‘back in the day’ fun fact about Chairman Mao and Henry Kissinger:

"You know, China is a very poor country," Mao said, according to a document released by the State Department's historian office. "We don't have much. What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands."

A few minutes later, Mao circled back to the offer. "Do you want our Chinese women?" he asked. "We can give you 10 million."

After Kissinger noted Mao was "improving his offer," the chairman said, "We have too many women ... They give birth to children and our children are too many."

"It is such a novel proposition," Kissinger replied in his discussion with Mao in Beijing. "We will have to study it." (Contra Costa Times)

Ten MILLION China dolls? If Porcus hears about that...I’d rather not think about it.

"I’m Sorry, Honest Injun"
Source: Evening Standard [02/06/08]

The Korrectniks at BBC are groveling on their bellies again, bleating "I’m sorry" to anyone, everyone, within earshot. The source of this Brit network nitwit angst is a plant-wrangling boom box show on Radio 4 called "Gardener’s Question Time". Inkorrectness? Yup. On a gardening show? You better believe it, Sparky:

A caller to the Radio 4 show asked for advice on the Rhodochiton volubilis, which