Do we confess to appreciating lovely eye candy?
Damn right, and if you're on this page, you know you do, too.
Sorry, but no parental warning for this page is required, as these are images of respectable young women, not womyn, that take pride in showcasing their goods, tastefully, and we give PIG Props to these dazzling damsels willing to proudly share their visually stunning gifts with the rest of the world.
What makes them respectable? Easy. The fact that they didn't date Porcus.
Nothing wrong with looking, folks. As a wise man once said, "It's Okay to look at the menu, as long as you eat at home."
However, if you've been whipped into submission by 'Her,' simply explain that you didn't have time to visit the local art museum or gallery to get cultured, so you stopped by PIG's Pinup page for 'refinement.'
We hope you enjoy our gallery of gorgeous pinup gals, along with the occasional token Uglo-saurus, in either photographic or artistic form.
What the hell, we don't need anyone's permission to look at or think about being stranded on a tropical island with some of the following beauties peeling our grapes and opening our beers, but dammit, we all know it ain't gonna happen to us or you, right?
Now, snap out of it and enjoy our little Peek-A-Boo page!
SPANISH REALIST PAINTINGS | VARIOUS ARTISTS
BULLETS AND BEAUTY
Wanna meet a modren day Annie Oakley and true patriot? Meet Jan Morgan. Outspoken gun shop owner who has a "No-Muslim" policy at her shooting range.
Wouldn't mind a locked and loaded lady like her living next door.
Oh. Unless you are blind as a bat, she also happens to be kind of, maybe, screw it. All the way pretty.
PORCUS' PERSONAL MODEL
Okay, Hambo double dogged dared me to piss off my ex by challenging me to get a hot Asian model for 'artistic purposes' and show her off to the ex.Which I did.
Was the ex and her friend shocked when they saw her walk through the front door and strut her stuff? Yep.
Was ex equally pissed when hottie got 'comfortable?' Damn right.
I would like to think I rose to his challenge, hired a sweet Asian beauty, name ain't your business, but she is and will be gracing our pages, willingly.
Enjoy my new best friend. Hambo, this time you gotta admit I done well.
MEXICAN WEATHER FORECAST: CHILI TODAY, HOT TAMALE
>>> Meterology >>>
TAKE OFF THAT FLAG
HONKY TONK WOMEN
Like that sampling?
>>> Honky Tonk Women >>>
HOT CARS, HOT BABES IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT
Like hot babes and exotic cars? Scroll down and enjoy the front ends and musical links:
>>> Driver's Seat #1 >>>
>>> Driver's Seat #2 >>>
>>> Driver's Seat #3 >>>
THE ART OF ONEQ
CHEESY DIME NOVEL COVER DAMES
Long On Legs, Short On Plot
Where's Sergeant Schultz?
Artists Bearing Brushes Only Want Your Bare Body
Yay! This One Won an Award!
I Always Wondered What Happened To Her After The Senior Prom
Holy Hot Tamales
I Bet There's No Film In His Camera
It's The Cigarette That Got This Banned
GI Joe And Heidi The Frauline 'Ho
WTF Kind Of Title Is THAT?!?
Does anyone remember Charlotte McKinney as the woman who stalked Porcus to the point of him getting a restraining order against her? Probably not and neither does he.
Do any of you PIGsters remember her from our Sports page, where was featured in a Superbowl ad for Carl's, Jr.? Thought so.
Here she is, the woman Porcus said "No" to.*
*Publisher's Note: Porcus denies saying no to her in any way, shape or form. It was Mrs. Porcus who put him back in the "home" and on his anti-delusional meds.
DIAH: BALINESE BABE
MONA LISA THROUGH THE AGES
LINES AND SHADOWS OF LUCIEN CLERGUE
PIN UPS FROM THE UKRAINE
GET A PAIR! ONLY $12.99 AT COSTCO. OOPS! FORGOT TO MENTION, THE GLASSES ARE ON SALE FOR $5.99. WHAT A DOUBLE D DEAL
THE PIN-UPS OF ROLF ARMSTRONG
Hey PIGster's of the scary persuasion. You probably thought we would pay tribute to Elvira, Mistress of the Dark this Halloweeen Wrong. We've got some really spooky this postings and possible suggestions for Halloween costumes. We have some suggestions for you that will scare the living shit out of your candy dispensing neighbors.
Caution: You have been warned.
Wanna be the first on your block to wear the "Stretching The Truth" mask? Heres, San Fran Nan.
Here's the Al Franken "Cuddler" costume. Quite frightening. Poor Teddy bear.
This is not the Creature From The Black Lagoon, but with this mask, you are guaranteed to scare the hell out of your neighbors and have them fork over a bagful of candy just to get you the hell out of the "Hood.
Hey kids, when you see the the little candy begging squirt approaching your home with a Rosie O'Donell mask, be prepared to wear blinders and have a filthy sock on hand to stick in her mug.
Very Scary: The Messiah With His Pen And Phone. Kiss your Constitutional Rights Good-Bye. Golf clubs and rolling papers not included.
If you want to be a total tool and wet blanket on Halloween, you need the Moochelle Mask. The ultimate Hobgoblin when it comes to confiscation of little kid's Halloween take
Let's amplify The Moochelle mask with the Food Furher, none other than Michael Bloomberg. Probaby worthy of an ass- kicking in New York
Enough kidding around if you happen to be of the Korrectnik nature that has a deep fear of putting two feet on Reality Street, watch your Gummy Bears, as he will entertain and enlighten you with his Hammer when he shows up at your doorstep. Attitude way included.
If someone shows up wearing this, and if you are allergic to Truth, Humor, Facts and Fun, call the authorities..STAT.
THE ART OF YUEHUI-TANG
AUTUMN: SWEATER PUPPY SEASON
WAKE UP AND SMELL THAT FLOWER
THE IMAGERY OF BELA BORDOSI
ISRAELI WOMEN | HOW MUCH MORE KOSHER CAN YOU GET?
Meet Lindsay Marie. She's a bit unorthodox, but we love her patriotic spirit and choice of colors.
FOUR EYES FOR YOUR EYES
There is a certain mystique about a woman that wears glasses and wears them well. The old Foster Grant commercials had an advertising slogan that went: "Isn't that you behind those Foster Grants?"
Well, we really do want to know about women wearing stylish glasses and begs the following questions:
• Is she a physicist, brain surgeon, rocket scientist, CEO or just an all-out brainiac?
• Is she a nerd, dweeb, geek, bookworm, clutz, ditz, wallflower or social misfit?
• Was she once the 'Ugly Duckling' in school that got teased and somehow grew into 'Holy Hotness' status and gets the last laugh by showing her hotness off?
• Most importantly, is she using those glasses as fashion accessories to divert attention away from her, accentuate her fine features or disguise the fact that deep down, she is a real party animal?
Except for our last entry, you won't need a Hubble-Caliber telescope to eyeball these optically challenged, esthetcally enhanced, four-eyed females.
TOONS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Alice In Wonderland
Beauty and the Beast
The Little Mermaid
Red Riding Hood
BODY ART OF THE ORIENT
YABBA DABBA DOO!
THE ART OF TAMARA de LEMPICKA
In the wake of last night's Academy Awards and Oscar presentations and all the News Nit-Wits coverage of the actors and actresses fashions and who designed them and what they cost strutting down the red carpet, O'Hefner thought he would showcase some male, crossdressing actors in high fashion.
Don't they look just faaaaaaabulous, André?
Tony Curtis And Jack Lemon in "Some Like It Hot"
Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie"
Robin Wiliams in "Mrs. Doubtfire"
John Travolta in "Hairspray"
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
From the guy who never celebrated it right.
HIGH MAINTENANCE OR HIGH CLASS?
AUDREY HEPBURN: ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING
RITA HAYWORTH: OLD SCHOOL BEAUTY
THE ART OF JEREMY MANN
DIG INTO THIS AT YOUR CHRISTMAS DINNER
DIFFERENT, BUT NICE
FROM THE PORCUS ARCHIVES
There seems to be a certain PIGster who loiters around the pages of the Free State Of PIG that likes to to drink paste and chew on crayons. He sees pretty colors and paints pictures, like the ones below.
PUMPKIN PIE, ANYONE?
A pin up for the ages which shows and displays the true beauty of a woman in her moment of solace and privacy.
No more words, just enjoy.
A REAL ALL-AMERICAN
If we had to choose the ultimate pin-up, we would choose an All-American beauty like current Miss Kansas, Theresa Vail.
Not only does she have the ultimate Girl-Next-Door qualities, is in the running for the Miss America Crown, but she also serves in the United States Army as Sergeant Theresa Vail.
Did we mention she is also an avid hunter, supports the N.R.A., boxes, skydives, rides motorcycles is a mechanic, aspires to be a military dentist and can probably kick anyone's ass that rubs her the wrong way.
She is also proud of the tattoo she sports (The Serenity Prayer, to be explained in the link below) and will be showcasing it during the swimsuit competition of the Miss America Pageant.
Every guys dream girl, right?
Whether she is crowned Miss America or not, with her brains, beauty, talent and patriotism,we'll crown her Miss All-American.
Drool on, dudes.
>>> Theresa Vail >>>
LITTLE ANNIE FANNY SKETCHBOOK: VARIOUS ARTISTS
LIBRARIANS: BOOK 'EM, DANO!
We hope this posting inspires you to step away from your computers and visit your local library. There you will find the most helpful folks around to assist you to find what you're looking for.
Where the hell were the librarians like the ones pictured below when I was in school?
PAULA DEEN'S REPLACEMENT?
The following was submitted by Lone Star:
They said they had found someone to replace Paula Deen.
And I said, “Replace Paula Deen? I’m not sure anyone can replace Paula Deen”.
So I took a look at the replacement’s pictures and then I thought....
"What the heck, let's give her a chance!"
A CULINARY CUPCAKE
Well, since Hambo spilled the beans about my birthday on Page One, and did not deliver the 1961 GT 250 Ferrari I wanted, I thought I would reluctantly settle for the showcased cakes below. I have no idea what those women are doing with such a nice cake, but...forget it. You know why you're here.
But hey, if anyone spots a Ferrari with any of the lovelies below, have them, oh screw it, never mind, it won't happen.
CAR WASH! HEY LADY, YOU MISSED A SPOT
MISSING: HAVE YOU SEEN HER? IF SO, SEND HER BACK TO PORCUS, SHE'S BEEN NAUGHTY, BUT SHE'S MIGHTY NICE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA, FROM OUR NUMBER ONE GAL
PIG GOES FIELD AND STREAMING WITH SOME GREAT BAIT
FOR THE LADIES: PORCUS & HIS BEEFCAKE PALS
ON SPRING BREAK
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY
WOMEN THAT WING IT
GALS 'N' GUNS
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
Note From O'Publisher: St. Paddy's Day is really not for the celebration of a Saint, but more like amateur day for those that use the day as an excuse to get obliterated, Irish style.
If you happen to be a hard partying Irishman, you'll know what 'amateur' means in this context.
There's nothing like watching some lightweight wannabe that can't hold their Hennessy, crawl to the bathroom and let that Pot 'O Gold turn Shamrock green.
Caution: Be on the lookout for those pesky buzzkill sobriety checkpoints.
Happy St. Pats and don't call us from the drunk tank.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
The following is a sculpture by French artist, Auguste Rodin, entitled, "The Kiss." We hope it inspires those of the amorous persuasion on Valentine's Day to appreciate their mate or intended and to enjoy each other not just on Valentine's Day, but every day.
PACKING HEAT ISRAELI STYLE
The Free State Of PIG would like to salute and honor the beauties of Israel who defend their nation's borders and independence against all enemies, and they are packing much more than rifles.
Enjoy these heat packing ferocious beauties.
THE EYE'S HAVE 'EM
LET'S START THE NEW YEAR OFF WITH A BANG
HEY, WE NEEDED SOME MILK FOR OUR COFFEE AND DONUTS
FOR THE LADIES
*Note from O'Hefner to our lady viewers who like a peek at some boy toys and man candy. What were you expecting? A recipe for chocolate chip cookies or brownies? On this page?
SANTA'S HOT HELPER
EQUIPMENT: DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT SHOWING IT OFF