Do we confess to appreciating lovely eye candy?
Damn right, and if you're on this page, you know you do, too.
Sorry, but no parental warning for this page is required, as these are images of respectable young women, not womyn, that take pride in showcasing their goods, tastefully, and we give PIG Props to these dazzling damsels willing to proudly share their visually stunning gifts with the rest of the world.
What makes them respectable? Easy. The fact that they didn't date Porcus.
Nothing wrong with looking, folks. As a wise man once said, "It's Okay to look at the menu, as long as you eat at home."
However, if you've been whipped into submission by 'Her,' simply explain that you didn't have time to visit the local art museum or gallery to get cultured, so you stopped by PIG's Pinup page for 'refinement.'
We hope you enjoy our gallery of gorgeous pinup gals, along with the occasional token Uglo-saurus, in either photographic or artistic form.
What the hell, we don't need anyone's permission to look at or think about being stranded on a tropical island with some of the following beauties peeling our grapes and opening our beers, but dammit, we all know it ain't gonna happen to us or you, right?
PIGRANNY'S: JANE AND ARLENE
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
THE AMADEUS ELECTRIC QUARTET
For your musical pleasure, four very talented and very beautiful Romanian babes performing all the classics from Bach, Beethoven, Bolero and beyond and look damn good doing it.
Here is a selection as requested by PIG Staff:
>>> Carmen-Habanera >>>
Check them out on Facebook:
>>> Amadeus Electric Quartet >>>
YEAR END REAR ENDS
ANTONIA OKAFOR: A REAL PIGAL
Meet Antonia Okafor, a Korrectnik Kupcakes and Ethocrats worst nightmare.
She is black, conservative and a big time Second Amendment warrior.
Pretty easy on the eyes, too.
>>> Antonia Okafor >>>
Why Cupcakes hate her:
>>> Banned >>>
FOP: FRIEND OF PORCUS
FOP: A friend, college grad, occasional model for Porcus, she will remain nameless to protect the innocent - her. Want proof she has real class and brains? She never dated Porcus. Oh, she is smoking hot, too.
JEANETTE "THE BLACK WIDOW" LEE
Since it’s open season on anyone (people) or anything (statues) named Lee, we thought professional pool player Jeanette “The Black Widow” Lee might fall into the crosshairs of people with bad intentions.
FROM THE PIG ARCHIVES
The most famous artist for this type of saucy postcards was Donald McGill. He was nearly 80 years old when he was put on trial (1954) under the Obscene Publications Act, found guilty and fined. Today the postcards are worth a fortune.
GAL GADOT, aka WONDER WOMAN
Meet Gal Gadot, star of the motion picture, "Wonder Woman."
Hardly just your everyday run-of-the-mill Hollywood Hottie, Gal Gadot is an Israeli-born actress (Fast & Furious movies), model, wife, mother, businesswoman and what makes her stand out in our PIGish eyes is that at age twenty, Gadot served for two years as an enlisted soldier in the Israel Defense Forces, serving as a combat trainer.
She says of her time in the army: "You give two or three years, and it's not about you. You learn discipline and respect." Gadot says that her background helped her to win the role of Gisele in Fast & Furious: "I think the main reason was that the director really liked that I was in the military, and he wanted to use my knowledge of weapons."
JESSICA AND ROGER 30 YEARS LATER
PIG'S OFFICIAL 2017 BARBEQUE AND PICNIC GIRL
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY & DON'T CALL US
FROM THE DRUNK TANK
THIS IS NO WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
At last night's 2017 Grammy Award Red Carpet Fashion-Fest, singer/actress Joy Villa knowingly entered a Libtard lion's den wearing a dress that read "Make America Great Again."
That naturally drew the predicted cricticism from the Limo-Libtard crowd, who seem to have have no problem spewing their childish political views using an entertainment awards show as their platform, but Joy Villa dared to show her patriotism and dissenting statement by wearing it (very) well.
Joy Villa is a true PIGal and she can stroll down PIG's red carpet anytime.
You go, girl!
A VERY MERRIER CHRISTMAS
MERRY CHRISTMAS, PIGSTERS
KEEPING AMERICA BEAUTIFUL
AS LONG AS IT'S NOT BILL...
THE ULTIMATE PIGAL: ROSIE THE RIVETER
This is Melania Trump, potential Firsy Lady of The United States. If she becomes First Lady, She would really be more than a few steps up from Moochelle, but add a real woman's touch to the White House.
NATIONAL BIKINI DAY
Alas, National Bikini Day has come and gone but never fear! Our operatives have uncovered (pun intended) the All-Time bearer of bikini wear. The winner is - drum roll please - Rachel Welch.
Don't know about the judging criteria, but I imagine it's a tough job, but someone had to make the right choice. And they did.
BOND GIRL: AKIKO WAKABAYASHI
DESHAUNA BARBER: THE NEW MISS USA
Congratulations go to Deshauna Barber for winning the Miss USA title.
Here she is in an intimate photo. Very lovely.
Here she is in her moment of glory
And here she is doing her day job as a lieutenant in the U.S. Army Reserves. I'm ready to report for duty and follow orders.
GOT A CRAVING FOR SOME JUGS OF MILK?
PIGAL MICHELLE MALKIN
>>> Michelle Malkin Blasts Obama >>>
Why I'm jealous of dudes that live in colder climates. Her equipment seems to make ideal hand warmers, though.
*Publisher's Note: This posting was insprired by PIGstress Grammy
The German Nanny/Ninny State is alive and well in it's quest to ban sexually suggestive images of women in advertising.
The proposed ban comes in the after math of the New Years Eve attacks, gropings, muggings and other sexual asaults in Cologne, perpetrated by Muslim refugees (who the hell else?)
Guess that means no more beer slinging frauleins during Oktoberfest
No more Claudia Schiffer
No more St. Pauli Girl girls
So Germans get to settle for Brunhilde
Or worse! Chancellor Angela Merkel
You don't have to be a NRA member or a firearms expert to answer this:
Are these .44's or .45's?
The guns dammit
HAPPY VALENTINES, FROM HAMBO
We were all brought up thinking the heart that you see for St Valentine's Day is similar to the Human Heart. This could not be farther from the truth.
The human heart is actually oblong, with arteries and ventricles winding in, out and around.
The below photo clearly shows the true origin of the St Valentine Heart.
GOOD HUMOR, COURTESY OF VAN HALEN
>>> Ice Cream Man >>>
Don’t know which I like better. The artwork or the ‘canvas.’
FOP: Friend Of Porcus
THE ART OF MARTA NAEL
With 2nd Amendment and self protection issues on the front lines of discussion, we thought we would showcase the need to keep and bear arms through the spectacular work of Barcelona based artist Marta Nael.
This last picture has nothing to do with guns, but it does speak to bare arms.
For more of her work, please visit her at:
>>> Marta Nael >>>
NAUGHTY OR NICE, PIG WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS
ARTIST: LEE BOGLE
NICOLE ARBOUR: A REAL PIGAL
Oh boy! Another piece of eye candy to drool over on the pages of PIG? Big whoop! What else is new?
PIGster's, meet Nicole Arbour, a 100%, bad to the bone, PIGal. Never at a loss for words, or the need to vent her uncensored, sugar-free opinions, Nicole Arbour tells it like it is, in her world.
Click the link to find out why there are no sacred cows left standing when Nicole gets done with them:
>>> Nicole On Being Offended >>>
>>> Nicole On Fat People >>>
>>> Nicole On Sluts >>>
SPANISH REALIST PAINTINGS | VARIOUS ARTISTS
BULLETS AND BEAUTY
Wanna meet a modren day Annie Oakley and true patriot? Meet Jan Morgan. Outspoken gun shop owner who has a "No-Muslim" policy at her shooting range.
Wouldn't mind a locked and loaded lady like her living next door.
Oh. Unless you are blind as a bat, she also happens to be kind of, maybe, screw it. All the way pretty.
PFOP: FRIEND OF PORCUS
Okay, Hambo double dog dared me to piss off my ex by challenging me to get a hot Asian model for 'artistic purposes' and show her off to the ex. Which I did.
Was the ex and her friend shocked when they saw her walk through the front door and strut her stuff? Yep.
Was ex equally pissed when hottie got 'comfortable?' Damn right.
I would like to think I rose to his challenge, hired a nice young lady, name ain't your business, but she is and will be gracing our pages, willingly.
Enjoy my new best friend. Hambo, this time you gotta admit, I done well.
MEXICAN WEATHER FORECAST: CHILI TODAY, HOT TAMALE
>>> Meterology >>>
TAKE OFF THAT FLAG
HONKY TONK WOMEN
Like that sampling?
>>> Honky Tonk Women >>>
HOT CARS, HOT BABES IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT
Like hot babes and exotic cars? Scroll down and enjoy the front ends and musical links:
>>> Driver's Seat #1 >>>
>>> Driver's Seat #2 >>>
>>> Driver's Seat #3 >>>
THE ART OF ONEQ
CHEESY DIME NOVEL COVER DAMES
Long On Legs, Short On Plot
Where's Sergeant Schultz?
Artists Bearing Brushes Only Want Your Bare Body
Yay! This One Won an Award!
I Always Wondered What Happened To Her After The Senior Prom
Holy Hot Tamales
I Bet There's No Film In His Camera
It's The Cigarette That Got This Banned
GI Joe And Heidi The Frauline 'Ho
WTF Kind Of Title Is THAT?!?
Does anyone remember Charlotte McKinney as the woman who stalked Porcus to the point of him getting a restraining order against her? Probably not and neither does he.
Do any of you PIGsters remember her from our Sports page, where was featured in a Superbowl ad for Carl's, Jr.? Thought so.
Here she is, the woman Porcus said "No" to.*
*Publisher's Note: Porcus denies saying no to her in any way, shape or form. It was Mrs. Porcus who put him back in the "home" and on his anti-delusional meds.
DIAH: BALINESE BABE
MONA LISA THROUGH THE AGES
LINES AND SHADOWS OF LUCIEN CLERGUE
PIN UPS FROM THE UKRAINE
GET A PAIR! ONLY $12.99 AT COSTCO. OOPS! FORGOT TO MENTION, THE GLASSES ARE ON SALE FOR $5.99. WHAT A DOUBLE D DEAL
THE PIN-UPS OF ROLF ARMSTRONG
Hey PIGster's of the scary persuasion. You probably thought we would pay tribute to Elvira, Mistress of the Dark this Halloweeen Wrong. We've got some really spooky this postings and possible suggestions for Halloween costumes. We have some suggestions for you that will scare the living shit out of your candy dispensing neighbors.
Caution: You have been warned.
Wanna be the first on your block to wear the "Stretching The Truth" mask? Heres, San Fran Nan.
Here's the Al Franken "Cuddler" costume. Quite frightening. Poor Teddy bear.
This is not the Creature From The Black Lagoon, but with this mask, you are guaranteed to scare the hell out of your neighbors and have them fork over a bagful of candy just to get you the hell out of the "Hood.
Hey kids, when you see the the little candy begging squirt approaching your home with a Rosie O'Donell mask, be prepared to wear blinders and have a filthy sock on hand to stick in her mug.
Very Scary: The Messiah With His Pen And Phone. Kiss your Constitutional Rights Good-Bye. Golf clubs and rolling papers not included.
If you want to be a total tool and wet blanket on Halloween, you need the Moochelle Mask. The ultimate Hobgoblin when it comes to confiscation of little kid's Halloween take
Let's amplify The Moochelle mask with the Food Furher, none other than Michael Bloomberg. Probaby worthy of an ass- kicking in New York
Enough kidding around if you happen to be of the Korrectnik nature that has a deep fear of putting two feet on Reality Street, watch your Gummy Bears, as he will entertain and enlighten you with his Hammer when he shows up at your doorstep. Attitude way included.
If someone shows up wearing this, and if you are allergic to Truth, Humor, Facts and Fun, call the authorities..STAT.
THE ART OF YUEHUI-TANG
AUTUMN: SWEATER PUPPY SEASON
WAKE UP AND SMELL THAT FLOWER
THE IMAGERY OF BELA BORDOSI
ISRAELI WOMEN | HOW MUCH MORE KOSHER CAN YOU GET?
Meet Lindsay Marie. She's a bit unorthodox, but we love her patriotic spirit and choice of colors.
FOUR EYES FOR YOUR EYES
There is a certain mystique about a woman that wears glasses and wears them well. The old Foster Grant commercials had an advertising slogan that went: "Isn't that you behind those Foster Grants?"
Well, we really do want to know about women wearing stylish glasses and begs the following questions:
• Is she a physicist, brain surgeon, rocket scientist, CEO or just an all-out brainiac?
• Is she a nerd, dweeb, geek, bookworm, clutz, ditz, wallflower or social misfit?
• Was she once the 'Ugly Duckling' in school that got teased and somehow grew into 'Holy Hotness' status and gets the last laugh by showing her hotness off?
• Most importantly, is she using those glasses as fashion accessories to divert attention away from her, accentuate her fine features or disguise the fact that deep down, she is a real party animal?
Except for our last entry, you won't need a Hubble-Caliber telescope to eyeball these optically challenged, esthetcally enhanced, four-eyed females.
TOONS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Alice In Wonderland
Beauty and the Beast
The Little Mermaid
Red Riding Hood
BODY ART OF THE ORIENT
YABBA DABBA DOO!
THE ART OF TAMARA de LEMPICKA
In the wake of last night's Academy Awards and Oscar presentations and all the News Nit-Wits coverage of the actors and actresses fashions and who designed them and what they cost strutting down the red carpet, O'Hefner thought he would showcase some male, crossdressing actors in high fashion.
Don't they look just faaaaaaabulous, André?
Tony Curtis And Jack Lemon in "Some Like It Hot"
Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie"
Robin Wiliams in "Mrs. Doubtfire"
John Travolta in "Hairspray"
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
From the guy who never celebrated it right.
HIGH MAINTENANCE OR HIGH CLASS?
AUDREY HEPBURN: ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING
RITA HAYWORTH: OLD SCHOOL BEAUTY
THE ART OF JEREMY MANN
DIG INTO THIS AT YOUR CHRISTMAS DINNER
DIFFERENT, BUT NICE
FROM THE PORCUS ARCHIVES
There seems to be a certain PIGster who loiters around the pages of the Free State Of PIG that likes to to drink paste and chew on crayons. He sees pretty colors and paints pictures, like the ones below.
PUMPKIN PIE, ANYONE?
A pin up for the ages which shows and displays the true beauty of a woman in her moment of solace and privacy.
No more words, just enjoy.
A REAL ALL-AMERICAN
If we had to choose the ultimate pin-up, we would choose an All-American beauty like current Miss Kansas, Theresa Vail.
Not only does she have the ultimate Girl-Next-Door qualities, is in the running for the Miss America Crown, but she also serves in the United States Army as Sergeant Theresa Vail.
Did we mention she is also an avid hunter, supports the N.R.A., boxes, skydives, rides motorcycles is a mechanic, aspires to be a military dentist and can probably kick anyone's ass that rubs her the wrong way.
She is also proud of the tattoo she sports (The Serenity Prayer, to be explained in the link below) and will be showcasing it during the swimsuit competition of the Miss America Pageant.
Every guys dream girl, right?
Whether she is crowned Miss America or not, with her brains, beauty, talent and patriotism,we'll crown her Miss All-American.
Drool on, dudes.
>>> Theresa Vail >>>
LITTLE ANNIE FANNY SKETCHBOOK: VARIOUS ARTISTS
LIBRARIANS: BOOK 'EM, DANO!
We hope this posting inspires you to step away from your computers and visit your local library. There you will find the most helpful folks around to assist you to find what you're looking for.
Where the hell were the librarians like the ones pictured below when I was in school?
PAULA DEEN'S REPLACEMENT?
The following was submitted by Lone Star:
They said they had found someone to replace Paula Deen.
And I said, “Replace Paula Deen? I’m not sure anyone can replace Paula Deen”.
So I took a look at the replacement’s pictures and then I thought....
"What the heck, let's give her a chance!"
A CULINARY CUPCAKE
Well, since Hambo spilled the beans about my birthday on Page One, and did not deliver the 1961 GT 250 Ferrari I wanted, I thought I would reluctantly settle for the showcased cakes below. I have no idea what those women are doing with such a nice cake, but...forget it. You know why you're here.
But hey, if anyone spots a Ferrari with any of the lovelies below, have them, oh screw it, never mind, it won't happen.
CAR WASH! HEY LADY, YOU MISSED A SPOT
MISSING: HAVE YOU SEEN HER? IF SO, SEND HER BACK TO PORCUS, SHE'S BEEN NAUGHTY, BUT SHE'S MIGHTY NICE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA, FROM OUR NUMBER ONE GAL
PIG GOES FIELD AND STREAMING WITH SOME GREAT BAIT
FOR THE LADIES: PORCUS & HIS BEEFCAKE PALS
ON SPRING BREAK
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY
WOMEN THAT WING IT
GALS 'N' GUNS
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
Note From O'Publisher: St. Paddy's Day is really not for the celebration of a Saint, but more like amateur day for those that use the day as an excuse to get obliterated, Irish style.
If you happen to be a hard partying Irishman, you'll know what 'amateur' means in this context.
There's nothing like watching some lightweight wannabe that can't hold their Hennessy, crawl to the bathroom and let that Pot 'O Gold turn Shamrock green.
Caution: Be on the lookout for those pesky buzzkill sobriety checkpoints.
Happy St. Pats and don't call us from the drunk tank.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
The following is a sculpture by French artist, Auguste Rodin, entitled, "The Kiss." We hope it inspires those of the amorous persuasion on Valentine's Day to appreciate their mate or intended and to enjoy each other not just on Valentine's Day, but every day.
PACKING HEAT ISRAELI STYLE
The Free State Of PIG would like to salute and honor the beauties of Israel who defend their nation's borders and independence against all enemies, and they are packing much more than rifles.
Enjoy these heat packing ferocious beauties.
THE EYE'S HAVE 'EM
LET'S START THE NEW YEAR OFF WITH A BANG
HEY, WE NEEDED SOME MILK FOR OUR COFFEE AND DONUTS
FOR THE LADIES
*Note from O'Hefner to our lady viewers who like a peek at some boy toys and man candy. What were you expecting? A recipe for chocolate chip cookies or brownies? On this page?
SANTA'S HOT HELPER
EQUIPMENT: DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT SHOWING IT OFF