For some time now, the following notions have been gathering dust and cobwebs in the Porcus skull cavity, pretty much doing nothing but festering like an unlanced boil.

This stuff is not made up, but instead, is a compilation of observations and actual experiences, so before those most 'racist' and 'sexist' PIG slings and arrows come flying my way, consider that some of the following may have been experienced, witnessed or even thought of by you, too.

Some of the following examples have Porcus scratching his head. Some have Porcus laughing his ass off. Then there are some that just out and out piss Porcus off to no end.

But all of them, no doubt, have Porcus just saying, "WTF?!?"

Hang on to your hot dogs, as we venture forth into The Porcus Netherworld of Observations in Human Nature and Behavior.

WTF! Why is it, then when a little old lady gets murdered, or a minor gets kidnapped, raped and murdered and found in a ditch, or even worse, a little innocent kid catches a bullet as a result of a drive by shooting, that catches little attention? But when a cop catches one in the line of duty, eats hot lead, every law enforcement agency from the Texas Rangers to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police drop all other cases to catch a cop killer.

I thought cops were dedicated to serving the public and were aware of the occupational hazards, including death or disability.

And, when a memorial service is performed, every available cop from coast to coast shows up with dress uniforms and all the pomp and circumstance is rolled out, at taxpayers expense, of course.

WTF makes a sworn officer more special than the public they are sworn to "Protect and Serve?"

Next time I see a cop, I'll ask and let the PIGdom know what the Tin Star's response is, after I recover from the black and blue marks I'm sure to recieve.

WTF! What ever happened to cool names for cars?

Am I the only one to notice that the names of certain models of cars went panty-waist?

Limp wristed names like Leaf, Prius, Sonata, Genesis, Alero, Volt, Accord, have replaced the good old American names of real muscle cars like Cobra, Mustang, Barracuda, Challenger, Bearcat, Stingray, Cherokee, Thunderbird, Cougar, etc.

Those cars had the huevos and horsepower to haul ass and their makers didn't give a double carb or cracked engine block about toxic emissions.

Shit, even the Italians have cool names for their cars like a Diablo or Testarossa.

Those are all cars that also had automitive nads, too.

WTF! I guess by altering names and manufacturing hybrids, that's Madison Avenues' and the automotive industry's way of caving in to the Greenies and Eco-Punk Terrorists as a way of selling warm-fuzzies and I just wonder, when are they going to really wimp out and call the newest automotive sensation, something like the Pink Fairy, the Gummy Bear, the Unicorn, Easter Bunny or wait, how about the Rainbow, all Al Gore approved.

WTF next, are we going to resort to four roller skate wheels on a plywood board to get from point A to point B?

WTF! The following are some random WTF-isms:

WTF! Most cities and towns have ordinances for people that walk their dogs to clean up the dogs' steaming loads and leavin's. That's fine and being a good citizen if you clean up after your pooch. But what if Fido or Fifi just take a squirt, is the dog walker expected to suck the dogs liquid leavin's with a straw?

Just wondering.

WTF! What's up with term, "The Four Corners Of The Earth?" Last I checked, and I do recall my geometry and astronomy, that the earth is a sphere, which is round and therefore has no corners or squared sides, angles or edges. Chris "Wrong Way" Columbus proved it.

Just wondering.

WTF! Why is it that a dude will spend years and lots of dollars to trick out, customize and/or restore a vintage auto or motorcycle only to warehouse it and only take it out to those "Hey, Look At My Rod" cars shows once a year to show off to other like minded "Hey, Look At My Rod" Weekend Warriors?

Small Penis Syndrome? You be the judge.

Again, just wondering.

WTF! More dude stuff. What the hell is up with some guys that absolutely must, no, GOTTA have, 5 Skil saws, 3 drill presses, 10 tool boxes, 4 power drill/drivers, an anal retentive, catagorized filing system for every screw, nut, bolt and washer that in all likelyhood, they'll never use?

I'm surpised that a 12 step group hasn't emerged to deal with dudes that feel the need to not just keep up with the neighbor's tool collection, but one-up every other dude on the block, but hoarding every tool in sight.

My diagnosis, Very Small Tool Syndrome - Ladies, you know what I mean.

Hey, I'm just wondering, but on a sidenote, those dudes come in handy when you need to borrow a tool or battery charger or paint brush.

WTF! Ladies, you're not off the hook, either. You know you practice the art of deception every time you purchase a push-up, cleaveage revealing bra, extra skin tight pants, Botox treatments, breast enhancement surgery, hit the makeup counter, go to tanning salons and all that other superficial shit, then hit the town for a night out in hopes of getting your claws into "Mr. Right," take him home, only to wake up the next morning finding him long gone, leaving you with only the pool boy.

You wonder, why did he leave?

He probably woke up with a hangover, took one look at you without all the warpaint, and your skidmarked panties, padded bra and gathered his gear and tiptoed right out the back door, never to be seen again. And guess what? He probably gave you a fake name because with all that fake shit you use to enhance your goodies, he probably read you like a book.

Question to female prowlers: I was wondering, WTF, why waste time and money enhacing yourselfand pretending to be something you are obviously not, when you can simply be yourself and present the real package to Mr. Right?

Once again, just wondering.

WTF! Now, in case you're just wondering just how much spare time Porcus has on his hands to dwell on the previous trivial postings?

Pssst. I'll tell you. TOO MUCH!

DEMOLITION DERBY: JAPANE$E STYLE

WTF! We’ve all heard the jokes and stereotypes about Asian drivers, you know, like how do you blind an Asian? Simple, put them behind a windshield.

The following nails that stereotype on the head and hits it out of the park.

On Sunday, December 4th in Yamaguchi Prefecture, Japan a convoy of exotic, high end and high priced European automobiles met their doom in a pileup which included eight, that’s right, EIGHT Ferraris, a Lamborghini, three Mercedes Benz’s, and a couple of rice burning Toyotas were involved.

Apparently, some dolt went Kamikaze on the expressway by trying to pass another car, hit the median and spun out, causing the members of the convoy to crash while trying to avoid the chaos

WTF! Trying to pass and overtake a convoy of Ferrari’s, Lamborghini’s and Mercedes’ is one dumb ass move. I’d like to know who gave the keys to the idiot who initiated the pileup.

Here in America, we have NASCAR, but in Japan, they ought to have JACCAR: Japanese Association of Car Crashing Asshats and Retards. Smashing one Ferrari is bad enough, but EIGHT, is a tragedy, equivalent to pissing and puking on the Mona Lisa.

WTF! If Enzo Ferrari knew that his handmade creations would end up in the hands of CERTAIN PEOPLE that can’t even park a bicycle, he would have never allowed them in the hands of wreckless drivers that have no appreciation for automotive and artistic excellence.

As far as the Godzilla of Sunday drivers that caused the pileup, I would go Samurai on him by sending him to his room with no rice, sake, sushi or car keys…for life.

WTF! If you're tired of society's precious, protected 'people of color' and other self-proclaimed victim-hood dwellers blaming all of their ills on Whitey, you're not alone.

Let's take the two Homeys, pictured below, as an example and analyze the attitudes that seem to still be prevalent among certain 'communities' and sub-cultures.

WTF! These two poster boys are claiming that they can't get a job because the White man is holding them back. I disagree. The Bloods and Crips are always recruiting clowns with pants down to their knees.

WTF! When the Gangsta thing runs it's course in the form of a felony conviction AND a 5-7 year graybar guest, The Man will have no problems finding Homeboys like these some kind of prison job like making license plates or making little rocks out of big rocks on a chain gang.

WTF! Good honest, character building work, too.

WTF! Quit blaming Whitey for your socio-economic plight. Quit blaming The Man because you don't have the necessary or marketable skills needed to function in todays workplace.

WTF! When you have a 'You owe me' attitude, and dress like a circus clown, nobody, and I don't care what color they are, will take you seriously, except maybe, just maybe Je$$e Jack$on or Al $harton.

WTF! So-called people like you be illin'

Yo! Peace. Out. I got's to go to my monthly Conspiracy Club meeting. This months topic: STFU!

WTF! We've all seen those online dating services catering to certain demographics advertised on TV.

They've got dating sites for those over 50.

They advertise dating sites for Christians, Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, Cougars, MILFs, and even Gays, Lesbians and He/Shes. (Note: Not one exclusively for Whitey).

All that's fine and dandy, but what about those that are really hard up and just don't fit into any of the previously mentioned categories?

What about a hook up site for society's real misfits and unorthodox outcasts? You know, convicted felons, mental defects, lametards, those with certain fetishes, Punk, Heavy Metal and Goth types, Rednecks, Hillbillies, inbreds, spaztics, and even PIGsters all have needs too.

Now gosh darn it, it's high time society in general took note and catered to these lonely hearts, too.

WTF! If anyone with an entrepeneurial bone in his/her body, they would tap into those sub-cultures and make a few bucks in the process.

WTF! Burning question time. Why is it, that when I watch a Looney Tunes cartoon - and yes, I'm a grown man that still enjoys his Toon Time - that the Acme Company could send Wiley E. Coyote anvils, high powered sling shots and other 'Don't try this at home' stuff, but he could never catch that punk-ass, beep beep Roadrunner?

Better yet, how did Tweety Bird magically whip out a stick of dynamite and book of matches to toss to Sylvester The Cat?

What about Foghorn Leghorn, who, frequently tied his dog nemesis to skyrockets, lit the fuse and sent the poor dog into the next county?

WTF! How come Daffy Duck can get his hands on a combination of nitro glycerine and gun powder, complete with a lit match and make things really go boom?

The burning, WTF question is, why do they get to play with the neat stuff, while regular slobs like me get stuck with lawn mowers, shovels and computers?

WTF! Pass me an Acme anvil. I'll drop it on my own head...again.

WTF! Ever see a Rufus, LeRoy or Ray-Ray walk down the street with 10 pounds of fake gold bling with an NHL jersey on?

I have, and it's an oxymoron in action. Blacks generally don't play or watch ice hockey, so I don't know why some high profile rappers wear white man's sports gear.

Wait! I just had a stop the presses revelation!

Because any rapper named like One-Pac, P-Piddle or Ice Water wear one, all of a sudden it's a fashion statement and influencing young wannabees.

How insensitive of me. These youngsters need...wait, I just got a mental bitch slap.

Rufus, LeRoy and Ray-Ray couldn't tell the difference between a hockey puck and a job application, so, whats up you poser bros?

I'll wait for the hate mail on this one and face off with them.

WTF! Holy Jumping Jehovah!

We all get those monthly slickly produced community coupon and advertising rags in our mailbox from local merchants.

Here in the Porcus McPreacher War Room, we actually take advantage of a night out or a free car wash as a result of the coupons from time to time.

All good. All fine.But, this month, a local church came up with perhaps the most ridiculous advertising or PR campaign ever, published and mailed to my friends and nieghbors.

Before I comment further, simply examine the ad below.

Done laughing...yet? I'm not, and probably won't for quite a while.

WTF! Coupons for Christ? Wow! I had no clue that redeeming a coupon at a church would get me past The Pearly gates.

I guess I've been behaving like a blasphlemous buffoon by not realizing and feeling guilty for not opening my wallet and checkbook and redeeming coupons would guarantee my eternal salvation.

When Jesus $$$aves, who scores? The ka-ching church.

WTF! Talk about flagrant and funny Elmer Gantry-ism.

Seriously, please pray for me that I don't bust a major artery and die from laughter, because, according to this particular church's ad campaign, I just may need that cheesy and tasteless coupon.

Take care. God Bless, and use your own damn coupons to get to the promised land of your choice.

WTF! Have you ever,and I mean EVER had some some asshole, disguised as a mild mannered old lady approach you while your walking your dog when she/it/whatever claims SHE is afraid of dogs, with her hands on her hips declaring the sidewalk was her territory?

First, how the hell would I even know or care about the old miserable bat's fears and phobia's about dogs.

Second. If the old hag was really afraid of dogs, she had ample time and distance to cross the street instead of walking right up to me and my little pooch, with her hand on her hips, declaring my dog was causing her fear.

Third, I'm supposed to read the minds of every pedestrian that has a fear of dogs and dares to share the sidewalk with me, and sticks her stinky finger in my face?

Wow! Had I known that the Old Sack Of Crap's hypersensitivities superceded my right to walk down the street with my dog, well, I sure would have yielded rights to that soggy old, miserable sack..with a thick wad of spit.

WTF! Talk about someone that was in need of a flea bath. What if I had happened to be walking my pet Puerto Rican, or Pollack? Not that I have one, yet, but would she have had the same sanctimonious attitude?

WTF! Ever notice some of those early morning News-Babe Weather Girls and the way they dress...AT 5:00 AM?!?

I don't know where you live or what TV market you're in, but here in Southern Mexifornia, these 'Weather' girls look and dress more like teenage tramps than so-called professionals.

WTF! With their Hoochie-Mamma skin-tight mini skirts, five inch fuck-me stiletto pumps, hoop earrings, and caked on make up and their ultra-sheen lip gloss, when doing their weather reports at 5:00 AM, they don't look like their going out, they look like they've been out...all night, and the cat dragged them from a back alley to their assigned broadcast studio.

WTF! I'm far from prude and their's nothing wrong with waking up to some eye candy while getting the local weather, and I'm so used to the way they look, but I just have to wonder, WTF do these too-easy tramps and trollops smell like?

HETEROPHOBES
Homophobia? If you're afraid of or intimidated by this spectacle, maybe you're gayer than they are.

WTF! Why is it that a person that merely disagrees with, makes fun of, or doesn't particulary care for homosexuals or the homosexual lifestyle is unfairly labeled a "Hater," or more specifically, a "Homophobic?"

Let's crack open our dictionaries and dissect the newly coined and very politically correct, but mislabeled term, 'Homophobia.'

Before we begin, I'll sidetrack for a moment and cite the late, great comedian and master of misnomers and oxymorons, George Carlin for some examples of language butchery:

"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

"The term Jumbo Shrimp has always amazed me. What is a Jumbo Shrimp? I mean, it's like Military Intelligence - the words don't go together, man."

Get the picture? Good. Now get back to the term in question, 'Homophobia.'

Homophobia - n. Irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals.

Wrong!!!

Let's get really anal (pun intended), and pick this term apart.

Homo- prefix. Same; Like: homophone. [Latin < Greek< homos, same]

I know. I know. In the context of contemporary vernacular, the prefix -homo refers to a sexual flavor, ala GLAAD-BAGs (Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Annoying Dykes Boys And Alleged Girls*. *Alleged Girls covers, bi, tri, quadra, poly and transsexuals, plus crossdressers.)

Phobia- suffix. An intense, abnormal, or illogical FEAR of a specified thing. [Latin < Greek < phobos, fear.]

Hence, we get Homo-Phobia, and taken literally would come to mean 'An irrational FEAR of the same.' In this case, it would mean 'An irrational FEAR of the homosexuals.'

The operative word here is fear, not hate, dislike or discrimination.

WTF! I can't speak for anyone but myself, but homosexuals don't exactly strike fear into my bones. On Gay Pride Parade Day, I'm actually very amused at grown men men prancing up and down the street dressed in drag or leather diapers, and just because an individual doesn't care for that lifestyle, does not make them, or me a hater of homos.

WTF! Since the term 'Homophobia' has crept into and has become an acceptable part of our vocabulary, we here at PIG can introduce a term of our own, 'Heterophobia.'

Heterophobia n. An irrational fear or hatred on the part of homosexuals toward heterosexuals.

Example of Heterophobia: "Hey Bruce, did you see those breeders* holding hands? Absolutely disgusting!"

*Breeders: A term used by Heterophobes to describe a heterosexual.

WTF! So now you see? Language swings both ways, and the next time, if ever, a GLAAD-BAGger calls you a Homophobe simply because you laughed at, or disagreed with them, tell them to either bend over or open wide as you gag them with the term, Heterophobic.

WTF! Why is it that every time I quit drinking, the price of my favorite beer seems to go down? Or even still, when I decide to go on a health food binge, pizza prices from coast to coast plummet? Are the breweries and pizza peddlers losing stock value because I'm not buying their products and they have to make up for their massive losses by lowering their prices?

It never fails, too, and maybe some of you have had the same experience. You drink your last brew, eat that last slice and decide to kick some unhealthy habits. You then look in the Sunday fishwrap coupon and supermarket insert and supplement section, and lo and behold, that case of beer that cost $15.00 last week, is now on sale for half price.

Same goes with pizza, for example. Your neighborhood pizzeria is now offering the same pizza you ordered just last week on a two for one basis.

WTF! Talk about torture and temptation. It's almost as if THEY know, and will do anything to get your business back.

In the words of Lloyd Bridges in Airplane!, "I guess I picked the wrong week to quit drinking."

That always seems to be the case with me.

Cheers.

WTF! It's correction time.

I dropped the ball in my previous posting regarding foreign born English speakers with thick accents as opposed to American born Ebonic speakers that sound like the Mushmouth character from the old Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids cartoon that seem to speak in a language and vernacular only a select few can understand.

Well, it was brought to my attention, and rightfully so, that I neglected to make mention of certain rustics, rubes and banjo toting inbreds of the Billy Joe Jim Bob Bo and Luke Duke persuasion (rednecks and hillbillies) that likewise were born here, but yet only a select few can understand WTF they're saying as well.

We all know the type. They're straight out of central casting with their pickup trucks, complete with the rebel flags, mullets, gun racks and one-toothed women.

So, in all fairness, I'll offer the following examples of Crackerspeak, found on Wikipedia:

Redneck: "J'ever done gone'n getted that thar thang you was gonna git from the catalog?"

Translation: "Did you receive the item which you ordered from the catalog?"

Redneck: "Makin da laf durn."

Translation: "We are guiding our automotive vehicle to the left."

Redneck: "Relo mah boomstick"

Translation: "Please place more of your ammunition into my firearm."

Redneck: "Gettin my cusin done 'n' watchin the daytona 5 hundrurd"

Translation: "I am taking my lovely wife on a honeymoon."

WTF! You get the picture. Ignorant illiterates come in all flavas, breeds and persuasions.

WTF! Several months ago, my wife and I were with someone of the black persuasion, and that person asked my wife who is from a foreign land and has a thick, exotic accent, "How long have you lived here?

My wife told her how long she has been here, LEGALLY, and our friend wondered, "Why, if living here in America all these years, haven't you dropped your accent?"

Wife replied that she took the time to learn to read, write and speak proper English before she came to America, but that her accent was from her native tongue.

I thought my wife defended herself, which she didn't have to do in the first place, quite politely.

However, a couple WTF thought's popped into my head.

WTF! Why is it that some people that come here with paperwork and pedigree in hand take the time to learn our language and assimilate while certain other's require, no, demand bi-lingual education, handouts, and other freebies, unlike my wife, who has played by the rules, never asked for anything from anybody.

Second WTF thought that seeped into my head, but being a gentleman, I zipped my lips, but could't help getting into Keeper Of The Fork mode by wondering, WTF, why is it that certain people come here, learn the language, still have a heavy accent and get an A for effort for taking the time learn proper English, but certain Ebonic types still can't grasp the simple linguistic skill of pronouncing the word "Ask" as opposed to "Axe" as in, "Axe me a question?

WTF! And this is addressed to illiterate American born's as well as foriegn borns. If reading, writing, speaking, pronouncing and articulating the English language, properly, regardless of accent, was good enough for my foreign born forefathers and wife, it damn well ought to be good enough for the homegrowns.

WTF! Wanna hear the mother of all WTF's?

Thought so, that's why you're here.

Ever have a significant other, and we all know who 'She' is, standing in front of the TV while watching the Superbowl? Well, my 'She' has been properly trained not to do that. It took some time, patience and discipline, and she is properly trained in matters and protocal of the Dudedom when it comes to the viewing of sports on TV.

Sorry for the digression, but the real mother of all WTF's is my satelleite provider, who at the 2 minute warning of the f***king Superbowl, decided to rescramble and download a new signal leaving my TV screen blank, thus, me missing the end of the game.

We are all at the mecy of our cable or satellite pirate providers, and mine fumbled the ball when they ran interference on my once a year Superbowl festivities.

That said, I say WTF, I'm flagging those pirates for unsportsmanlike conduct for ruining my day.

I'll pile on a futher WTF by wondering, why can't they pull that crap at 3:00 AM when nobody but loners, losers, drunks and hookers are still watching infommercials on TV?

WTF! When my next bill comes from the pirates, I'm going to demand an instant replay challenge on my statement and flag them for a personal foul in the form of clipping.

WTF! This one is not so much a WTF take as it is a "Where The Hell Was My Camera When I Needed It" moment, because this would have been a classic.

Driving down the street at a stoplight waiting to turn green, I had an epiphany that the Justin Bieber phenonemon has really done the cultural and musical crossover when I saw a hybrid of Buckwheat and Justin standing on the corner.

Same hairdo, darker skin. So f**King, piss your pants hilarious, you had to be there in order to believe it.

A black kid with a Justin Bieber combover hairdo? What's the world coming to?

Yes, I did say WTF, as I was laughing my ass off watching this kid. My hunches are that with a hairdo like that, he probably lives near the local country club as opposed to the hood, because with a ridiculous haircut like that, white, black, whatever, no one will last more than ten seconds in the hood, at least alive.

So, in essence, Justin Bieber has become as important as he thinks he is by mending racial and cultural fences by influencing not just gullible white boys by emulating his haircut, but also black kids, too.

WTF! Whatever happened to purple and orange dyed mowhawk haircuts?

WTF! Hey all! MLK Day has come and gone. A day in which ALL Guvment workers and benefit recipients got paid to lay around the house or hood on our dime and really, do the equivelent of, pretty much nothing.

Almost as if they were at their 'jobs', huh? Heh, heh.

On a more somber note, it is a day we honor a way forward thinking man whose life was taken too early, yet left a great legacy and many lessons to learn as he helped bridge the racial divide in America.

Okay. That said, the WTF thought goes as such, and this is going to be a personal observation. WTF is up with The News Nit Wits not reporting on law enforcement not setting up sobriety checkpoints for MLK Day activitities? The News Nitwits sure don't have a problem reporting on the DUI arrest tally when it comes to St. Patrick's Day drinking festivities.

WTF! Racial profiling, lack of racial profiling, or both because Barney Fife caved into local political hack's bent, depending on the race or date of the ethnic or cultural occasion is no excuse to make some animals more equal than others in the name of political correctness.

WTF! You know, with all the blaming and finger pointing Obama has been doing, on a very constant basis, regarding the previous Bush Administration and the huge budget deficit and debt HE, "The One" claims he "inherited," the WTFer's just had to wonder.

Why did you take the job as President, asshole, if all you're going to do is blame the previous President for our country's financial problems and bury us in debt with your own underground printing press by devaluing the American dollar

WTF is Obama's successor as President going to claim when he or she takes the heat for inheriting Obama's red-inked multi-trillion dollar bill "We The People, Son's And Grandson's" have to pay for, for his corporate bailouts, golf trips and personal, family, exotic vacations and overall disregard for John Q. Public's personal earnings?

If that person, who assumes Commander-In-Chief status, and is willing and able to look forward, roll up their sleeves and look for solutions, and NOT play the finger pointing blame game, AND realize that they have a job to do, we salute the "New Boss."

WTF! We'll see who blames who in the long run as history judges America's worst President ever, oh, and of course, First lady, (wait, she's not a lady)...EVER!

Oh, another WTF! moment. How could I be so forgetful? About that finger you point Mr. Messiah to blame others whenever you excuse your massive tax, spend and Constitution trampling behaviors, should be shoved straight up your you-know-what.

WTF! Why are Bill Maher, Whoopi Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell always referred to as 'Comedians?'

Not one of them has ever said anything that resembles humor in a long time, if ever. Collectively, with all of their empty headed, idiotic, uninformed lip flapping about the evils, faults and shortcomings of white men, past administrations(Bush), foreign policy, immigration, Afghanistan or the economy, the only thing of note that any of these do is contribute greatly to the depletion of the ozone while at the same time, demonstrating what utter imbeciles they are by virtue of opening their traps.

I guess when the 'Comedy' thing runs it's course on these washed-up Has-Beens-That-Really-Never-Were, it's only natural for them to segue and resort to adolescent name calling with a Know-It-All, Holier Than Thou attitude before resorting to fact checking and rational, adult behavior.

Since when has being a washed up 'comedian' been a qualification to be a military strategist, economic forecaster, Beltway insider or even an armchair social commentator? Hell, I'de much rather hear my auto mechanic's opinion on important matters than anything washed up blowhards like Bill Maher, Rosie O'Donnell or Whoopi Goldberg have to say.

WTF! What WILL be funny about them is when their soapboxes collapse and fold from underneath them from the weight of all the hot air they spew.

WTF! Remember back in 1991-1992, we had Hillary running on a Co-Presidential platform, Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein and Loretta Sanchez running for California seats, and to a lesser degree, the Anita Hill hoax, and the media called it 'The Year Of The Woman'?

But now in 2010 with such a huge surge of female candidates, many Republican or Tea Party, the same glorification or even repsect for women running for office is nowhere to be found?

WTF! Is the media jealous because some of these women actually look and act like ladies?

Is it because they're not as shrill as the Class of '92?

Perhaps in their cases, they really are 'uniquely qualified' to succeed where the current crop of incumbents have failed?

Could it be that - gasp - the current crop of female candidates aren't liberal Democrats that march lockstep with their parties' platform, Pro-Choice agendas and actually think outside the box, and the Beltway?

Methinks it's all of the above! One recent case in point. California Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman was overheard being referred to as a 'whore' by someone from Democratic candidtate, Jerry Brown's staff.

Where was the NOW - National Organization of Witches? They not only stand by Jerry Brown, but supported the use of the word 'whore' in Meg Whitman's case.

WTF! Equality for women is very selective and only extended to certain womyn...by certain womyn.

WTF! (x 4) Am I the only one that thinks that those skin-tight clad, brightly colored spandex wearing bicyclists are the epitome of arrogance?

You know the Asphalt Assholes I'm talking about. Their arroganance and piousness exceed even the most hard core, laptop toting, Art Garfunkle/White Bob Marley looking Starbucks frequenter.

First, these Pavement Punks travel in swarms, non-chalantly commandeering the entire road at times, crossing over THEIR official 'Bicycle Lanes' into the motorists lanes slowing down traffic, usually at a most critical time, like when you really need to use a restroom.

Those same cyclists however, will never let an opportunity slip by to let you know just how Holier Than Thou they are when one of us ignorant and merely mortal motorist's 'encroaches' upon their sacred and precious 'Bicycle Lane.'

Second, if you ever have the misfortune of getting into a conversation with one of them, somehow the discussion always leads to the superiority and craftsmanship of their imported, Tour De France caliber bicycle.

Titanium frame, aerodynamically engineered and made in France, complete with a $5,000 price tag. As if they would be seen on anything less?

Third, they also never miss an opportunity to discount the accomplishments of Lance Armstrong, probably because he's an American, which to them is outright bicycle blasphemy. The nerve. A Yankee Dog showing up the mighty French on their own turf. Why he ought to be flogged with an inner tube for even thinking an American is even remotely superior to or worthy of competing against the French.

Fourth, WTF is up with those ridiculous looking, form fitting outfits that they wear and inflict upon the rest of us. Personally, they look like a 1970's acid trip/discoteque nightmare.

If the cyclist is a weekend warrior, ex-couch potato and male, they insist on showing off their beer boobs, beer guts, baby Bobbit bulges and snow white, pasty complexions.

I have nothing against physical excercise, or bicycling in particular, but if these wannabe Tour De France eggheads really want to put their pedals to the metal, might I suggest they prove their mettle by participating in the Tour De 'Hood, a proposed tournament that rolls right through the PIGDome?

See how far those Cyclo-pathic Sissies get (without getting your fancy bike stolen and your ass kicked by Chuey or Rufus) with those hideous looking tights, Chad.

WTF! I’m sick and tired of being PIG's bearer of bad tidings whenever I post on all the good folks that pass away and make our Toe-Tagged page.

Not wanting to play God by wishing an early demise for anyone, (well, almost anyone) I really do wish that some sub-humans and other assorted scum and riff-raff would simply disappear from the public, for the public's good, of course.

Why is it that individuals that lead productive lives, contribute to the world, and make an impact on those around them either on a large or small scale, die way too early, while others overstay their welcome?

Why can't the takers, whiners, famous for being famous, oily politicians and related pirates and other well known scabs "kill" their public presence and just go away - far, far away and crawl under a damn rock and rot away?

WTF! I lied. I really do have a little, personal list of those I wouldn't mind posting on Toe Tagged, and the sooner the better.

WTF! I’m no Galileo, but I was wondering, if there are 360 degrees in a circle, and it takes one year for the earth to revolve around the sun, how come there aren’t 360 days in a year?

WTF ever happened to keeping it simple?

WTF! On a related astronomical note, why does everyone – News Nit Wit ‘Meteorologist's’ included - refer to the time of day known as ‘dusk’ as ‘sunset’ and dawn as ‘sunrise?’

Last I checked the sun is pretty much stationary and it’s the earth that rotates 360 degrees every 24 hours, thus causing what is referred to as sunrise and sunset.

WTF! Even a dude like me that hated any and all math classes figured that out.

WTF! Why is it that it's perfectly normal for a wife or girlfriend to rifle through a mans wallet, help themselves to however much money they want, and give the dude a third degree interrogation when she finds a strange phone number in dude's wallet, BUT, when a man needs a few extra bucks and looks in her purse, she fells offended and violated?

WTF ladies. If you're so fixated and fascinated by a mans wallet, go get your own!

WTF! WTF is with the obession some people have with Facebook?

I personally know someone whose sole mission in their so-called life is to be on Facebook from dawn til dusk, taking the occasional bathroom break, and a few hours of sleep.

How miserable or empty is your life when it's centered around meaningless cyberchat hour after hour, day after day?

I can see if these losers were communicating with each other to try and find a cure for cancer or put a man on Mars, but the enormous amount of time wasted yaking with other losers is close to sinful.

The problem escalates when you leave in the morning and your significant other is on Facebook. When you get home in the evening, they are still on Facebook with the dishes stacked to the ceiling, the kid is crying, the dog didn't get walked, and of course, NO F***ING dinner in sight.

Then of course, there are those that abuse their bosses computer privleges by Facebooking on the job. That's stealing the bosses time. Might as well drink on the job if you ask me, because both would be grounds for termination.

LOL? Not by a longshot. OMG, more like WTF!!!

The Facebook user will claim to have over 900 'friends' on Facebook that they absolutely MUST communicate with on a daily basis.

900 friends??? Who the f**k has 900 friends?. Who the f**k needs 900 'friends'?

I'm not advocating going overboard, dictating personal behavior or creating a Facebook Nazi movement, but these losers are addicts and they need help, so instead of getting a good Forking, and being about solutions from time to time, I thought that with the proliferation of self-help 12 step programs, let's add another one into the mix on behalf of chronic Facebook losers, users and abusers.

Instead of being predictable and calling our new support group Facebook Anonymous, let's keep it simple and real and just call it Faceless & Lifeless Anonymous, or F&L for short.

Better yet, in the spirit of the old opium dens and cocaine shooting galleries, Facebook users can, when the urge overwhelms them, disappear for days, weeks on end to an actual, not virtual, Facebook House, where they can chat until they are Facedown in the gutter.

I have nothing personal against using Facebook on a casual basis, in fact I have a page of my own. I check it once in a while, for entertainment purposes and to catch up on friends and family activities. Like I said, about once a week. But when a certain somebody becomes so fixated and mesmerized and has to call me into the room every two minutes to see how cute the new nephew is, or so and so just got married, I come ever so close to calling for an intervention before that certain someone gets the hint that I'm about to go nuclear.

WTF, get a real, not virtual life.

WTF! This one really crisps my crust.

Recently, on one of those estrogen inspired, Kleenex passing talk shows, one of the guests happened to be...Ta-Da, a self proclaimed "Adult Film Actress And Artist"

Wow. Your'e an "Actress" for removing your clothes and laying on your back and doing what comes natural to every woman and man?

Wonder what your "acting" qualifications are? Did you hone your "acting" craft studying Shakspearean acting like the great Alec Guinness, or perhaps at the Pasadena Playhouse like Gene Hackman?

If you did so, that would be very impressive, but the truth is, women like you make a lucrative living being performers, not the actresses and Prima Donnas you think you are.

More than likely, you, "Miss Self Proclaimed Actress" you honed your skills and talents in the backseat of a car, or bed of a pickup truck.

The reality is, you are nothing more than a trained performer, like a circus seal, you open every orifce of your body at the snap of a finger, the sound of a man's zipper opening and most important, the sound of a boatload of Benjamins you get for doing your thespian thing.

Enjoy your careers as "Actresses and Artists" laying on your back for a living, because I hope it works out for you when you turn 35 and the adult entertainment industry puts you out to pasture.

Oh, and I also hope your mommy and daddy swell with pride at their little girl's career choice.

WTF! (Another DMV adventure) I recently found myself at my local Mexifornia DMV branch to take care of some pressing business and found to my dismay that since my last excursion, they had completely streamlined their system and geared it towards – now hold on to your hot dogs – efficiency!

I had fully prepared myself for an afternoon of absolute misery, and got myself in the appropriate bad mood and was at the ready to snipe at the drones behind the counters, when to my surprise I was greeted with not only a short waiting time, but courtesy as well.

I thought I was in the Twilight Zone.

I went in, got my number, didn’t have long to wait, took care of my business, and left a satisfied customer. And to top it off and show that they’re really on the ball, they actually failed several non-Engrish/Ingles speaking applicants, proving that they stopped GIVING away licenses but are now requiring some level of competence and road skills in order to be licensed to operate a motor vehicle.

Let me repeat. This was in Mexifornia.

Now, one of two things could have happened. They tuned into this page and read my previous DMV rants (scroll down), which is unlikely, or, someone, something told those drones that due to Mexifornia’s budget mess and DMV furlough days, that they are expendable and can be replaced and better be on their best behavior.

WTF! This is one time I’m glad I was proven wrong.

WTF! What is up with so-called dudes that still wear tighty-whitey's?

Ladies, at this point, you're highly encouraged to take notes on behalf of your man, as you're not quite off the hook if you're guilty of buying nut crunching undies for your 'man.'

Let's get down to nuts and bolts, pun intended.

OK, dudes, as children we're all at our mom's mercy when she purchases those Fruit Of The Looms, Hanes, Spiderman Underoos, whatever, that are sinfully skintight. However, when we develop and mature, and we know that means. It's time to ditch the Volkwagen and make room for the Cadillac.

WTF, Porcus. What are you getting at? Well, Madison Avenue and the advertising industry seems to have no problem with 'female' comfort, either pitching bra sizes or the the latest added comfort of panty liners.

That's fine, but what about the comfort of men, after all we're talking family jewels.

Solution? When necessary, wear boxers for your added comfort and freedom. When not necessary, let your nads and manhood float and dangle with the summer's breeze...

Oh, sure. Like our wives would allow us to show our goods without a support system?

I know I'm going to hear about this, but the entire posting was inspired by an early morning re-run of a Girls Gone Wild informercial.

God bless em.

WTF! What's up with these Bible Thumpers, trying to sell you on their "I'm all messed up on The Lord" guilt trips by saying, "Jesus died for your sins."

Jesus died for my sins? OK. That is a great, altruistic gesture he bestowed upon his fellow man and mankind. But, as far as I know, I never met him, and he took that cross to the hill as his own burden, so why should I feel guilty as a sinner? He was predestined to die for our sins, anyway.

Nifty. Nice, too, in concept, but did Jesus know me as a man? If he did, he would want nothing to do with the likes of me.

My issue with these well intended folks trying to "guilt" me into their church with initial acts of kindness, using Jesus' dying for me as a guilt factor only to ultimately say, "Oh, please make the check out to The Church Of P.T. Barnum"

Remember, there's a sucker born every minute.

But hey, I do want to thank Jesus, not the guilt peddlers, for carrying that cross on my behalf.

WTF! Why is it that when I take a road trip and find myself in a rural area and start fiddling around with the radio dial in hopes of finding some decent music or even talk radio, all the stations get fuzzy, distorted sounding reception EXCEPT for the Spanish language Cucaracha Crap-Ola, or the Beans 'N Rice 'N Jesus Christ Evangelical stations?

Naturally, those stations come in crystal clear.

Makes me want to pull over and pray that I don't puke.

WTF! Why is that when you encounter a "Stoned On Jesus With Blinders On" type, every one of life's problems or questions, according to them, can be found in the Bible and no where else?

Example: Ask them what 'Born again' means. They immediately reply, "According to the Bible..."

Or ask them why bad things happen to good people, and their answer usually begins with "Scripture tells us..."

You can even ask them how they think the Dodgers will do this year with addition of some left handed power hitters and you'll still get "Well, the bible says..."

There sure is a lot of truth in that old Cheech & Chong skit where the dude says, "Hey man, I used to be all messed up on drugs. Now I'm all messed up on Jesus!"

Amen.

WTF! If the United States Coast Guard is considered a branch of the military for watching over our coastlines, catching drug smugglers and illegals, why isn't the U.S. Border Patrol elevated to the same status for doing essentially the same thing, except perhaps even more dangerous AND with their hands tied by polticians, bureaucrats and Colonista Coddlers? They are put in harms way, everyday, defending our borders, receive virtually no positive recognition, are shot at by snipers and smugglers, and on top of that, they are villified and get called mean, hurtful names, too.

WTF! Why is that you never see Koreans driving Korean imports like KIA or Hyundai, for example? Do the Koreans know something we don't, but should? I find that especially funny, since most Koreans can't tell a steering wheel from a windshield.

WTF! Ever notice that some prima donna assh***s with names that are spelled slightly different, and sound slightly different will stop and interrupt any conversation, no matter how important, to correct anyone with the misfortune of mispronouncing it? Example: A semi-celebrity type by the name of Jackée was being interviewed on TV, and several times stopped the discussion to inform the interviewer that her name was pronounced Ja-KAY. That's Ja-KAY!!! Not Jackee!

WTF! How would anyone know they were speaking to...I mean addressing such an important person? Sista pleeze!!! Sounds like an adult entertainer/stripper working name, if you axe me.

WTF! While watching one of those Sunday morning roundtable discussions here in SoCal recently, the topic was the upcoming elections, and the guests were some political insiders, and the facilitator (code for News Nitwit) asked the following, and I kid you not, was dead serious when she asked, "Illegal immigration. Why is that an issue, here?"

Stop the presses, Pedro!!! WTF kind of question is THAT to be asking here in Southern California?

News Flash for for News Nitwit! What part of M-E-X-I-F-O-R-N-I-A don't you understand?

WTF! Ever notice that those huge, mega Do-It Yourself hardware stores - Home Depot, Lowes, OSH, etc., always show commercials where the scenario is a couple shopping for the perfect kitchen tile, a truckload of sod for the new lawn or several gallons of paint for their nursery, getting it all loaded in their truck and supposedly, heading home.

There is one glaring omission from those commercials. They never show the husband take that detour about a block from Home Depot to pick up that one last item...an illegal invader day laborer, who, when not pissing on Old Lady Nusbaum's prize roses, is patiently loitering, drinking beer and distrubing the peace until he gets picked for the 'Do-It-Yourself-With-The-Help-Of-Chuey & Co.' job.

That, PIGsters, would be truth in advertising.

WTF! It just dawned on me why so many uninformed, ignorant a-holes are protesting or boycotting Arizona over Arizona Senate Bill 1070.

THE BILL WAS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH!!!

Silly me.

WTF! Why is that even after a revenue generating Barney Fife pulls over and issues a citation to someone for whatever petty reason, people always say "Thank you" to the cop? WTF are you thanking him for? Picking your pocket? Forcing you to write a check and mail it in? Taking time out of your day to go down to the courthouse to pay your ticket or attend traffic school?

If you've got nothing to lose and bowling ball sized cast irons, next time just play along and politely sign his little citation, smile and simply say, "Ahem. Sir, don't you think some thanks are in order on your end? After all, I am but yet another notch on your belt, a mere stepping stone on your path to that promotion, and of course, your inflated salary as a glorified hall monitor comes out of my pocket? Oh, and is it true about cops and donutshops...?"

See you in court, after the bruises fade, huh?

WTF! Ever wonder where clerks that work at gas stations or convenience relieve themselves, especially when you ask if you can use their restroom only to have them give you a look of contempt and telling you they don't have a bathroom? Hmmmmm. Just stop and think that if they have no working restroom, where do they do to get relief, and wash up afterwards.

You better think twice before ordering that Slurpee or chili dog.

WTF! This a good one. Ever have that special, absent-minded, lovable someone in your life that is always misplacing things like car keys, sunglasses or a cell phone, only to ask out loud, "Where did I leave my wallet? Have you seen my purse?"

Like I would know?

Well, Mrs. Porcus is the poster child of misplacing things. Sucker that I was, during the first few years of marriage, I would actually try and help her backtrack the damn lost item, and after a while, that crap got old.

Then it dawned on me! I would tell her I know exactly where it is. RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT IT!

She asked. I answered. Problem solved...on my end, anyway.

WTF! Why is it that one song stuck in my head can ruin an entire day? I'm not talking about run-of-the-mill cranium crunching crappy songs from Sinead O'Conner, Alanis Morrisette, or Mariah Carey. I'm talking about real annoying sounds that when played over and over, can make anyone go Bell Tower.

Ever get the theme from F-Troop, The Oscar Meyer Weiner jingle or a Barry Manilow song stuck in your head for an entire, tortuous day?

You've been there, too, huh? No matter what other song you try to replace it with, it somehow still finds a way to slowly, subliminally creep it's way back, at full tilt no less, to the forefront of the cranial sound system, playing itself over and over again in a continual, non-stop loop, driving you to the brink of insanity.

Gets worse, too. When the day is finally done, and you finally hit the sack and close your eyes for what you think is going to be a peaceful nights sleep, guess what? It's baaaack!

It's days like that that make the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard sound like harps from heaven.

Now go out there and have a great day and don't let the theme song from Facts Of Life ruin your day, over and over, and over...

WTF! Why is it that when Barney Fife has someone pulled over on a freeway, everyone slows down and all you see in front of you are brake lights?

Hell, he's already taken the time to pull someone else over, get out of the car, whip out his citation book and get busy writing a ticket, so why not take advantage of the situation and put the pedal to the metal and gun it? It's not like he's going to drop what he's doing to just to get you.

What are you waiting for? Go ahead and leave Ponch and John in the dust, go like Steve McQueen and floor it a like bat out of brakelight hell!

WTF! Why is it that getting older can be a confusing experience. For example, when guys get as old as some MILF's are, WTF do guys call them now? Since they can't call them The Babysitter, Mrs. Robinson or Schoolteacher anymore, and as a gester of being age-neutral, maybe they should refer to MILF's as...

CWILF's - Co-Workers I'de Like to...?

OHILF's - Older Hotties I'de Like to...?

F-PILF's - Female Peers I'de Like to...?

McHILF's - Irish Hotties I'de Like to...?

WFT! At my age, what's the use? I'll show them a little respect and simply say, ' Hey, Toots!' and wait for that much deserved slap in the face.

WTF! Why is it that I always fall for and plan my weekend around what a News Nitwit piece of eye candy weathergal or unfunny fatass weather dude "predicts?"

So many times "they" are dead wrong, but suckers like me always fall for their crystal ball predictions and end up either soaking wet when "they" predicted clear skies, or stuck at home after giving up tickets to a ball game because "they" predicted rain when it was a beautiful day.

That's my fault for putting stock in someone who's only real skill is looking good and reading a teleprompter.

But what really bends my 'Fork is that the following day, you never, EVER hear these assholes fall on their sword, eat some humble pie, apologize, or admit they were wrong for screwing up your weekend plans. At the very least, they could come out of the closet and admit they attended the Al Gore School of Meteorology Hype and Hocus Pocus.

For that, on behalf of those whose weekends were ruined, or will be ruined by a fucked up forecast, All News Nitwit Weather Drones will receive an Official Porcus Pitchfork Golden Shower Award, and if possible, administered by yours truely.

WTF! Why is it that it's perfectly legal to end the life of an unborn child at an abortion clinic, for say, whatever reason or mood the impregnated woman is in, but when a homicidal scumbag murders a pregnant woman, he's (rightfully) charged with two counts of murder? With that logic, shouldn't abortion be considered a so-called "Hate Crime?"

WTF! Why is it that when it rains in the dirt bowl called Southern Mexifornia, most everyone goes into panic mode and complains about the rain and the ensuing traffic tie ups, landslides and Storm Watch News Nit-Wits, only to have one asshole ALWAYS say, "Yeah, but we need it (the rain)." Never fails.

WTF! Why is it that when a wife or girlfriend insist (drag by the short ones) their man accompany them to the mall, the woman goes into rattlesnake mode when the man notices the hordes of head turning hotties?

What's even worse is three weeks later when the woman asks with her hands on her hips, "Do you still think she's (any good looking woman from the mall that you have long forgotten) pretty?"

As if he remembers, but you know he's cruisin' for a bruisin' when he naively replies, "Which one?"

WTF! Go figure.

WTF! Why is it people believe the fairy tale that all women are beautiful and underneath even the homeliest woman lies a pristine princess dying to get out? Not all women are cover girls, nor do they have to be to be beautiful, and that's OK. I just have a hard time believing monsters like Rosie O'Donnell, Nancy Pelosi, Lorena Bobbitt and the late Leona Helmsley having even a shred of beauty - either inner or outer. There are certain characteristics that can't be changed, not through plastic surgery, liposuction or dieting. Let's face it, some women are shrill bitches at birth. No amount of lipstick will ever make certain women beautiful, but a burlap sack over the head and a muzzle in the mouth are a good start.

WTF! Why is it that Pit Bull owners are ALWAYS uglier, meaner and dumber than their dogs? We've all seen the owners. They're usually wannabe bad-asses who use the poor beast as an extension of the "badness" they don't have. We've all heard the news reports of an innocent child or mailman being mauled by a viscious Pit Bull. The end result is that the dog is eventually put down. Putting the dog down is only half the solution. Why not put the irresponsible owner down with the dog? Now that's killing two birds with one stone. All those in favor...

WTF! Why is it that almost all new, or first generation immigrant groups to America, work their asses off to get out from under the low end of the immigrant totem pole and blend into our melting pot, while others - and you know who you are, Camel Crap - go out of their way to perpetuate and justify not just negative stereotypes of their herd, but generate out-and-out hatred, contempt and mistrust of YOU by everyone else, including some of your own kind, except for CAIR, of course.

WTF! Why is it that immediately following an attempted terrorist threat, Homeland Stupidity and TSA predictably impose even more punitive, invasive and asinine ways of making airline travel for the average airline passenger more miserable, but the News Nit-Wits always seem to get the reactions of some moron that just had a thorough body cavity search that always says something deep, like, "Well, we need to take these precautions."

WTF! Why is it that everyday personal items like lighters, pocketknives, nailclippers, and even shoelaces are not only on The Department Of Homeland Stupidity's list of implements of "Man Made Disasters" but are also on the top of every Educrat's Zero Tolerance Zombies' Shit List as well?

WTF! Why is it that whenever I settle in to watch a rare, half way decent TV show, it's always interrupted by a News Nit-Wit breaking story ALWAYS involving a car chase, preempting my daily Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood viewing time?

WTF! Why is it that Madison Avenue always portrays men as fumbling bufoons that can't turn on a light switch, use the automatic coffee maker, put down the toilet seat or even use a vacuum, when in reality, men are the innovators and inventors of such everyday household conveniences?

WTF! Why is it that when an American born Gringo wants to state his/her opinion on illegal border jumping scum, they always preface their statement with, "I'm not a racist, but..."?

WTF! Why is it that most one-named celebrities - Madonna, Sting, Cher, etc., are revered for their air-headed, fly-by-night causes and opinions by the Brain-Dead, but in reality, can be the world's biggest egomaniacal A-Holes?

WTF! (More Celebri-Trash) Why is it that when a well known person of questionable talent is asked a question on an important issue, they always begin with, "Well, Diane, as an artist, I feel..."?

Who died and made their self-important, "As an artist" opinions more important than my mechanics or butchers opinion?

As far as celebrities go, it should be more like, "Well, Katie, as a well-known A-Hole, I feel..."

WTF! Why is it, according to NO-NAD man-haters, that when a man proudly wields a large caliber, long barreled gun, he is, in Freudian terms, childishly playing with an extension of his phallus, but when a woman gets her hooks on a gun, she is somehow “empowered?”

WTF! Why is it that when a “Joe The Plumber” type, who earns over $100,000 a year merely has a job, but when someone with not even a High School diploma gets off welfare, takes a nine month course at a fly-by-night trade school (as seen on TV), graduates, lands a position earning slightly above minimum wage, they have a “career?”

WTF! Why is it that Orientals and Indians (the tomahawk kind) normally take offense to those terms and instead prefer to be called Asians and Native Americans, except when it comes to the almighty dollar?

The answers are $imple.

Take note of your local A$ian owned Oriental Dry Cleaner or Oriental Noodle Hou$e. They could care less what you call them as long as your money is good and you pay up.

Casino owning “Native American$” don't seem to have any problems perpetuating a tomahawk weilding redskin stereotype with their use of the term “Indian Gaming Ca$ino” all the way to the bank, in Mac trucks no le$$.

WTF! Why is it that the term 'Native American' is limited to Siberian-American's? Isn't ANYONE born on American soil considered a native...to America?

The facade of political correctness ends and hypocrisy begins whenever money is involved.

WTF! Speaking of race, why is it that should I refer to a black person as “African-American” especially when I don’t know where that person really came from?

Example: If I witness a crime by a black person, and am asked by Barney Fife for a physical description, I would say that person had a dark complexion, or, he/she was black. Whether that person is/was from Africa or Antarctica is of little consequence to a physical description.

WTF! Why is it that when Barney Fife pulls you over for suspicion of drunk driving, he makes you recite the alphabet backwards, has you close your eyes, extend your arms and touch your nose while walking a straight line at 2:00 AM?

Who the hell does any of that crap on a regular basis? He may as well have you perform the Nutcracker Suite while juggling chainsaws on roller skates.

Porcus’ advice: Don’t drink and drive unless you have mastered the alphabet backwards and are as agile as an Olympic gymnast.

WTF! Why is that when Pedro and/or Ping Pong are forced to answer a possibly incriminating question in English, all of a sudden, they answer “Me no speaka da Engrish,” but I would bet your bank account they could recite the Gettysburg Address for a million dollars.

WTF! Why is it that when a professional athlete gets caught using steroids, he/she is cheating, but when Pam Anderson surgically inflates her chest, that’s considered 'enhancement'?

WTF! Why is it that moments after the 9/11 attacks, the first group of people to display, uh, hide behind American flags where 7-11, liquor store and gas station owners named Achmed, who had nothing but contempt for America and American’s prior to the attacks, somehow miraculously took refuge in the American melting pot?

WTF! Why is that when approached by a wine soaked panhandler asking for some coin, I'm addressed as ' Kind sir...', but when I can't oblige Mr. "Can I Have Fitty Cent Fo' Some Bus Fare" I'm suddenly a cheap-ass, mo'-f***ing, racist skinflint?

WTF! Why is that some men, who are unwittingly marked as future 'Daddy' material, regardless of his CHOICE in the matter, are called Sperm Donors, but women with alterior motives are never called Sperm Robbers?

WTF! Why is it that when I purchase something at an Asian owned liquor store, the little Mama San behind the counter can calculate my purchase, the sales tax and change due in two seconds flat in her head, and if I’m a nickel shy, she'll demand, “You pay now!”

But when I win $200 from a lottery ticket purchased at the same store, same Mama San, suddenly, their mental calculators freeze up and they have to call in their family to analyze the ticket and call the state lottery commission and have me wait for an hour for my winnings?

WTF! Why is it that when a dude scopes out bare naked hotties in a Playboy Magazine, he is a drooling, knuckle dragging Cro-Magnon that has no respect for his wife or women in general, but when the same dude attends an art museum chock full of Old Master and Renaissance nude paintings and sculptures, he is now, somehow “cultured?”

Conversely, why is it okay for a woman to stand hypnotized for hours at Michelangelo’s David and not be called a pecker-peeking slut?

WTF! Why is it that when a mob of “inner-city” residents burn, loot, murder and riot while chanting “No justice, no peace”, that’s justified and brushed under the carpet as an uprising, or rebellion, but when taxpaying citizens take to the streets participating in peaceful Tea Party protests, that’s considered a Gestapo style lynch mob?

WTF! Why is it that when I need to make a right turn in downtown traffic, Lupe and her 6 kids leisurely take their sweet time crossing the street in ultra slow motion like a mother duck and her brood following in single file, causing me to wait, but the same Lupe can leave a Ferrari in the dust when she illegally crosses the border with Border Patrol Agents hot on her tail?

WTF! Why is it that you never see that urban eyesore, graffiti, scrawled on murals of the Virgin Mary, Jesus Christ, Cesar Chavez, Pancho Villa, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela or better yet, the graffiti vandals parents house?

WTF! Very Recent, Very True DMV Story: Why is it, that when I patiently wait for two long, tortuous hours at the DMV, and I'm 3 away from my number being called, THE F*****G POWER GOES OUT, THE COMPUTERS GO DOWN, AND EVERYONE IS TOLD TO EVACUATE ASAP?

Gets better. I returned the next day with my paperwork AND the number I was assigned the day before in hopes of bumping the line, only to be told I had to start at the end of the line by a high school dropout wearing a security guard uniform.

WTF! Speaking Of The DMV, why is it that I feel like a foreigner in my own country every time I visit the State supported Tower of Babel?

WTF! even more DMV Crapola: Why is it that my local DMV torture chamber has 1/2 inch thick bullet proof plexi-glass and posters on the glass alerting everyone that it's a felony, punishable of up to one year in state prison to threaten a DMV drone? Gee, you think it's because they're on the career fast-track into professional suckage?

WTF! Why is it that the 9/11 terrorist scum couldn't have flown solo (no innocent passengers) into IRS headquarters or better yet, the building that houses my student loan data on a Sunday morning when no one's there except the computers.

WTF! Why is it that whenever a new TV series or movie comes out and is hyped and hailed as "Critically Acclaimed", "The Best Movie of the Year" "Two Thumbs Up" or "A Sure Oscar Contender" how come I already know it's going to spew big, stinky chunks and flat out suck?

WTF! Why is it that a 15 year old girl can't remember what she had for lunch 3 hours earlier, but can remember what color panties Twatney wasn't wearing to the Pop Tarts Award Show 2 1/2 years before and who her date was?

WTF! Why is it that I always get stuck with the dullest knife in the drawer on the other end of the phone when dealing with government agencies and corporate America alike when I have a question or a problem that needs to be resolved?

WTF! Why is it that some folks get “offended” and somehow manufacture artificial outrage when a stereotype is justified? It truly can't be that there's a hell of a lot of truth in stereotypes?

WTF! Finally, why is it I know that you know where to send the hate mail?