[During a recent visit to the Objectivism Online site, I came across an exceptionally perceptive, well reasoned, posting in one of the discussion groups. In it, the poster, ‘Money Lover’, compares the demise of America, with the death of Ancient Greece and Rome.

I found the following passages especially enlightening and insightful:]

"The collapse of a civilization is a drawn-out process that does not happen within one day, nor even one year. Rome had been declining for centuries before Odoacer--the first Barbarian king--took it over in 476, and that particular year brought little visible change into the lives of the inhabitants of the empire, who continued to refer to themselves as Romans. Similarly, the United States has been adopting Socialist policies ever since the passage of the first "anti-trust" act in 1890; the 2008 election is just another step down a road we have been traveling on since before Ayn Rand was born. Assigning a date to the collapse of a civilization is an exercise in abstraction: one has to choose the date of an event that symbolizes the whole centuries-long process; an event that summarizes the essence of what brought about the downfall; an event that marks a point of no return.

Dr. Peikoff recenty called Obama "the first anti-American candidate." Indeed, while there have been many un-American candidates and Presidents in the past (in fact, most of the Presidents in the 20th century can be called un-American), none of them has been as avowedly anti-American as Obama. None of them kept hearing "God damn America!" as the gospel of God during their regular Sunday visits to the institution most responsible for shaping their sense of life, their ideas of morality, and their whole implicit philosophy. None of them had the likes of Bill Ayers as their closest associates. If we give them the benefit of the doubt, we might still say about all past Presidents that they were fundamentally well-meaning individuals who honestly wanted to secure a bright future for America, but were awfully handicapped as a result of the betrayal of the nation by its nihilist intellectual establishment. Obama's choice of his friends and mentors makes it clear that securing a bright future for America is definitely not his goal.

A nation cannot elect one of its enemies as its chief executive and survive for long. If we want to find a date symbolic of America's descent into statism, I cannot think of any event in the past, nor do I think there will be any event in the future, that captures it better than the election that turned the first anti-American candidate into the first anti-American president and gave him the full support of the House as well as the Senate. November 4, 2008, is the date history ought to record as the day the first American Republic fell."

"Thus, like all abstractions, assigning a date to the fall of the original United States is much more than just an idle academic exercise. Until it becomes widely accepted that we have not been able to keep the constitutional Republic the Founders gave us, everything that happens in America will continue to be seen as an American event, and as a product of American culture, i.e. of capitalism. Only when people become aware that Washington has been taken over by an element foreign to the nation's founding spirit will they stop identifying Washington's actions with that of a capitalist government; only then will they naturally think of it as having nothing to do with the original American culture.

Many patriotic Americans will say that it is premature at this point to declare the end of the Republic. Shouldn't I at least wait to see what policies Obama actually implements (given that he has yet to fully disclose the exact nature and extent of the changes he has in store for us) before pronouncing him the Odoacer of America? But I think, if anything, one has to wonder whether November 4 of this year is too late a date to name: the United States has been much closer to a democracy than a republic for several decades now. This was not the first election in which a candidate tried to gain the support of 51 per cent of the voters by promising them a little money, to be taken from the remaining 49 per cent--and did not even find it necessary to try and explain how his plan was to be reconciled with the inalienable rights Jefferson had written about. However, it was the first election in which the candidate flatly said into the face of a member of the victimized 49 per cent that his intention was to spread their wealth around, and that he knew this will make them vote against him, but it was the other 51 per cent whose vote he was counting on."

"It is time to make it official: Washington, D.C. has fallen to the Barbarians."

[It’s a very long commentary and I’ve already ‘borrowed’ too much of it. If you want to read it all, try this link: 476 Rome, 2008 Washington]

This week, while he was perpetrating my tax return, my personal financial guru, Iggy "The Grifter" Kowalski, sounded off on my pet theory for curing what ails Congress.

Me: "You’re looking good, Iggy."

Iggy: "There’s nothing like a two year stretch in a federal prison for tax fraud to make you a lean mean, spreadsheet molesting, machine."

Me: "You’re in a very cheerful mood. You’re not holding a grudge, because they made me testify at your trial, are you?"

Iggy: Aiming a toothy smile at me, he shook his head. "No harm done. It let me meet my hero, Bernie Madoff. Besides, everyone knows when it comes to finances, you’re a blithering idiot."

Me: Still worried, I reminded, "The last time you were this cheerful at tax time, you told me the U.S. Mint would need to put on an extra shift to print enough money for my refund."

Iggy: Laughing, he rolled his eyes. "Whine, whine, whine. I wonder if they still have that same hottie on their local auditing staff? You know the one, the tall, slender, brunette with the big cans and sexy accent."

Me: "She was there when they audited me last year, and I have her penciled in for this year, just in case. Sonia is a big fan of your work. In fact, she called you the Michelangelo of fraud."

Iggy: "The Michelangelo of fraud! I love it. I’ll have it printed on my business cards."

Iggy: After several minutes of nerve-wracking humming, he glanced at me over his shoulder. "I’ve been thinking about your pet theory."

Me: "Pet theory? Which one?"

Iggy: "The smiting one. The one where - what do you call him?"

Me: "Old Ka-Boom?"

Iggy: "Yeah, HIM. The one where HE wipes out Congress with an asteroid."

Me: "Oh, that one. What about it?"

Iggy: "It has a flaw, or two."

Me: "A flaw? What flaw?"

Iggy: "For starters, Old What’s His Name..."

Me: "Old Ka-Boom."

Iggy: "Yeah, HIM. Anyway, you’d need to ask him for a smiting which might present a problem, since he stopped taking your calls when you started calling yourself ‘A Pagan’."

Me: "I’m working on that one. One of my readers has a hotline to heaven, so I might be able to do an end run around the celestial disconnect."

Iggy: "PIGster J, your Professor of Piety, seems too serious about his supernaturalism to request a smiting, but I’ll concede the point."

Me: "You conceded much too easily. What else have you got?"

Iggy: Gloating, he hit me with the dreaded Iggy Smirk. "Old What’s His Name’s well documented fondness for fools, drunks, scallywags and moonbats would, by definition, exempt everyone on Capitol Hill via HIS ‘fools, drunks, scallywags and moonbats’ exemption."

Me: "Good point, but I might catch a break and submit the smiting request when SHE is getting on HIS last raw nerve."

Iggy: "I won't let you trap me into dissing Mrs. Old What's His Name."

Me: "Coward."

Iggy: Gives me the finger. "That distraction would require precise timing. Based on my encyclopedic knowledge of your investment strategy, I’m here to tell you that nobody is going to accuse you of good timing."

Me: "Is that it? ‘Pagan’ and that asinine Old Ka-Boom smiting exemption?"

Iggy: "That’s more than enough. However, you might want to consider the fact that America’s chad-punching retards are so clueless that they might just kick over a few rocks and elect another bunch of fools, drunks, scallywags and moonbats to Congress."

Me: Feeling smug, I gave him the finger. "I won’t argue the point, but, since they’d all be rookies, it would take them a few years to hone their craft to Iggy-class perfection."

Iggy: "A quasi-insulting compliment, but, considering it’s YOU, I’ll take it."

Me: "You’re welcome."

Iggy: "Ideally, they should put me in charge. I’d have America showing a tidy profit, in record time."

Me: "President Iggy? Bold new concept."

Iggy: "You better believe it, Sparky. I couldn’t do any worse than this Dumbo-Eared rookie who is the poster punk for losernomics."

When Iggy is right, he’s right.

The FSOP is continuing the long, laborious, process of Emerilizing our PIG Doctrine. During the next few weeks, we’ll be transforming each element of the PIG Doctrine by making it a clickable link to a longer rant on that topic.

This venerable Hambo rant explores the following elements of the PIG Doctrine, in greater specificity:

The exaggerated sensitivities of others are not my responsibility, nor do their hurt feelings empower them to abolish my right to free speech.

Since a word is nothing more than an ethically-neutral sequence of sound waves, it only has as much power for good or evil as the listener bestows upon it. There are no intrinsically 'offensive' sound waves, there are only hypersensitive listeners who are predisposed to being offended by them.

America And The Sounds of Silence

It’s no accident that our inalienable birthright of Free Speech is enshrined in the 1st Amendment of the U. S. Constitution. Its primary purpose is to remind the Nanny State to back the hell off when it comes to our Free Speech. A secondary purpose, probably an unintentional one, is to remind each and every one of us that Free Speech involves other sovereign individuals who can, and will, say things that we don’t want to hear. Unhappily, neither of these lofty purposes has been achieved.

From the dawn of time, humans have been trying snuff out speech that they didn’t want to hear. Each of us is afflicted with this utterly human malady. We want our voice to be heard, without restriction, but few of us have the stones to tolerate an opposing point of view. The Free State of PIG calls this phenomenon the ‘Sounds of Silence’.

The Sounds of Silence have a long, sorry history. For example, when Iggy the Apeman started to feel frisky and went searching for female companionship, he would, invariably have his trusty club resting on his shoulder. Why? When he meet a suitable playmate, the last thing he wanted to hear from Cuddles the Cave Cutie is ‘Not tonight, Iggy, I’ve got a headache’. A little love tap from his club resolved the pesky issue by imposing the sweet Sounds of Silence.

Not much has changed since Iggy and Cuddles’ time, and humans continue to do everything in their power to snuff out speech they don’t want to hear. They prefer the Sounds of Silence, because they can’t handle speech that makes them defend their views, makes them listen to an unfiltered dose of objective reality. These self-appointed censors, invariably, use the government’s monopoly on the use of force, to impose their preferred Sounds of Silence.

* Over the centuries, supernaturalists - from every sect - imposed the Sounds of Silence with blasphemy laws criminalizing ‘religious’ speech they didn’t want to hear. We regret to report that such laws persist, to this very day, in parts of Europe, and in most Jihadikaze infested nations.

* Over the centuries, tyrannical regimes imposed the Sounds of Silence by making it a "shut up or we’ll kill you" class crime to criticize the current regime. That, too, persists in certain notorious liberty-nuking blights on our globe.

* When it comes to censorship, when it comes to imposing the Sounds of Silence, America’s true believers have a long, ignoble history. During the earliest phases of America’s Colonial era, supernaturalist enclaves were imposing the Sounds of Silence on anyone who didn’t spout the ‘party line’. The differently-religious, along with true believers from the WRONG Cross Cult sect, got the Sounds of Silence bum’s rush right out of town. Those who refused to comply were taught the errors of their ways.

The Sounds of Silence’s infamous history was one of the reasons that America’s Founding Fathers did their best to protect our Free Speech birthright from a government-imposed Sounds of Silence. Unfortunately, human nature won’t be denied and our ‘shut the hell up’ instincts seem to be winning this two centuries old battle to impose the Sounds of Silence from sea to shining sea.

Despite the 1st Amendment’s protection of Free Speech, sovereign American individuals, on both sides of the political spectrum, do their utmost to silence speech they don’t want to hear. Technically, the 1st Amendment is still the law of the land. Technically, it continues to tell the government to ‘back off’. Technically, it continues to warn sovereign individuals to ‘get over it’, when it comes to hearing things they don’t like. Technically, but 21st century reality tells a different story.

* The Demoncrats imposed the Sounds of Silence on debates during the primary elections by refusing to appear at any debates hosted by Fox News. That ‘liberated’ them from listening to, from answering, any hard, challenging, questions that could expose their views to the chad-punching public.

* When it comes to the Sounds of Silence, Messiah Barry is without peer. In a daring, preemptive, strike, he took numerous items off the table. These include, but are not limited to: his supernaturalism, his middle name, his rogues gallery of friends and associates, his inexperience, his blatantly Marxist platform, his unrelenting flip-flopping, and his unsuitability for that Oval Office job. He snuffed out any comments on these, and other matters, with a Sounds of Silence weapon of mass destruction: the race card.

* The Elephant Clan is equally adept at imposing the Sounds of Silence. They, too, favor the preemptive strike and it’s almost as good as Messiah Barry’s race card. Determined to snuff out any free speech that exposes their sorry, government expanding, liberty nuking, antics, the Elephant Clan’s Sounds of Silence trump card is their venerable mantra: We know that we really, really suck, BUT, the Demoncrats still suck more.

* Believe it or not, even on the Internet, where Free Speech is alive and well, the Sounds of Silence have gained a foothold. Last week, I spotted a news item about some Blogspot sites that were shutdown by the parent company, Google. The Sounds of Silence scheme is simple and very effective. A group of Daily Kossack Obamatons singled out sites that were critical of Messiah Barry, then complained to Blogspot/Google that the sites are ‘offensive’. Armed with those complaints, Blogspot/Google locked out the perpetrator of that Blogspot site while the investigation was under way. The ensuing Sounds of Silence resulted in several of the bloggers moving their sites to a competing blog site provider, but it will take time for them to recover their lost readership. Many of the targeted blogs are run by disgruntled Comrade Hillary supporters, who refused to be dazzled by Barry’s bullshit.

* Until President Reagan eradicated it, the Sounds of Silence were very successful in snuffing out political speech on radio and television with the ‘Fairness Doctrine’. In the name of promoting Free Speech, this Draconian Nanny State stinker chased it off the ‘public’ airwaves. The instant the Sounds of Silence were dropped like a bad habit, talk radio exploded onto the scene, generating the robust political debate that the Fairness Doctrine promised, but never delivered.

The leftwing loons did their best to make this ‘robust, wide-open political debate' work for them, but their primary success is on certain boob tube networks that were already dominated by lefties. The problem, as they soon found out, is that relentless liberal whining isn’t viable in the marketplace. Whenever we the people are given a choice, we dump the liberal offering like a bad habit. That’s why, depending on the outcome of the forthcoming election, this stinker could be disinterred, re-animated and used to restore the Sounds of Silence on the ‘public’ airwaves. If the libs can’t make us listen, the next best thing is to use the Sounds of Silence to eliminate what rational adults want to hear.

* Juan ‘Do You Want Salsa With That Citizenship, Chico’ McCain succeeded in putting a muzzle on political speech, because Free Speech gives incumbent Elected Tormentors a boo-boo. His Campaign Finance Reform imposed the Sounds of Silence during the critical phase of any election cycle, by criminalizing the Free Speech of sovereign, chad-punching individuals.

* The neo-Marxist Eggheads, who dominate America’s Ivory Towers, began imposing the Sounds of Silence, decades ago, with campus speech codes. Now, in the 21st century, roving gangs of Korrectniks intimidate any rational adult, who strays onto a college campus, into surrendering their Free Speech birthright. The vaunted ‘free exchange of ideas’ has been unceremoniously evicted from the campus, by these cultural Marxists.

* Mecca Maniacs have reset the Sounds of Silence bar to dizzying heights. Their zeal, in this regard, is off the charts. If you dare to exercise your free speech birthright about their prophet, their supernaturalism, their deity, or simply make them feel bad, THEY WILL KILL YOU. In their special circle of hell, free speech is a synonym for "death sentence".

* America’s properly hyphenated horde has whined its way around the 1st Amendment and prodded the Nanny State into criminalizing any speech that gives them a rash. It’s called ‘hate speech’ and it’s so loosely defined that it applies to any speech they don’t want to hear. The Sounds of Silence are the law of the land, in this land conceived in liberty.

* Elements of the Vast Right-Wingnut Conspiracy have - in the name ‘of the children’ worked tirelessly to impose the Sounds of Silence on entertainment fare. Because some breeders can’t, or won’t, properly supervise their tykes, the Nanny State imposed Sounds of Silence which, systematically, deny sovereign individuals adult-themed content. Anything more daring than a test pattern is too ‘edgy’ for the boob tube. Any movie DVD that is aimed at an individual older than 5 can’t be sold in the local outpost of capitalism, because - GASP - a child might get his mitts on it. Music albums that contain adult lyrics must be exiled, affixed with warning labels, and, wherever possible, removed from a store because some tyke might find it.

Too many alleged adults are hooked on the Sounds of Silence. Too many alleged adults take the easy way out by snuffing out speech that they can’t handle, or just plain don’t like. Too many alleged adults seem to forget that the Sounds of Silence are the quiet that proceeds the thunder of jackboots goose-stepping over our liberty. It’s time to flush the Sounds of Silence. It’s time to grow a pair and confront that exercise in Free Speech that gets on your last raw nerve. It’s time for each and every one of us to restore Free Speech - as the Founding Fathers intended it - to its rightful place in this land of the not as free as we’re supposed to be.

Colorado Korrectness

If you’re a charter member of the genderally confused portion of the GLAAD BAAG coalition, and you reside in Colorado Springs, one of your home girls, uh, boys, uh, girl-boys, Nancy-Jo Morris has thrilling news for you. Thanks his, her, hisher, or its transgender activism, the Colorado Springs cops are getting comprehensive training on the dos, don’ts, and WTFs involved when they question, search or detain one of the city’s 75-100 gender bending denizens.

This cross-dressing, gender swapping, adventure got rolling, last year, when Nancy-Jo asked city officials how they were implementing a 2008 dose of Korrectnik legicrap, Senate Bill 200. What’s that? It’s the Nanny State brain fart which added ‘transgender’ to the state’s anti-discrimination laws.

Here, as reported by the Colorado Springs Gazette, is the genderally-confused circle of hell to which Nancy-Jo has condemned the city’s cops:

Over the next month or two, Springs police are required to view and be tested on a 30-minute DVD produced by the training academy.

The training instructs officers that transgender identification is up to the individual. Officers are required to ask individuals if they identify as transgender if their IDs do not match their gender presentations and to use pronouns based on a transgender person’s chosen identity.

Searches are to be conducted by officers with genders matching the transgender person’s preference. Transgender individuals are to be placed in holding cells with the gender they identify with, or, if their safety is at risk, alone.

“It is one thing to have a law on the books. It is another to have it walking the streets,” Morris said. “The police force is working very hard to break down walls.”

Once all officers are trained, the department will put an official transgender policy on the books. That may include a “split search” policy, requiring a female officer to search female parts and a male officer to search male parts on a transgender person if requested. (Gazette)

Split searches? What’s your gender, today? Pronoun roulette? What a steaming load. If I’m a Colorado Springs cop and I stop a tranny with a dozen freshly killed corpses in its ride, I’m going to take a pass and let them off with a warning. Anything else just isn’t worth the trouble.

Is gender bending the equivalent of a get out of jail free card, in Colorado Springs? You better believe it, Sparky.

Channeling their inner PIGster, some unknown Canadian wits thrilled the snot out of Siberian-Canadians, with their online advertisement. Promoting their "Native Extraction Service", they placed an advertisement on the Used Winnipeg cyberspace speed bump:

The ad, titled "Native Extraction Service," was posted on the website UsedWinnipeg.com, but was taken down by 1:38 p.m. CT on Thursday.

The text of the ad read: "Have you ever had the experience of getting home to find those pesky little buggers hanging outside your home, in the back alley or on the corner???

"Well fear no more, with my service I will simply do a harmless relocation. With one phone call I will arrive and net the pest, load them in the containment unit (pickup truck) and then relocate them to their habitat.

"It doesn't matter if they need to be dropped off on Salter (Street, in Winnipeg's North End) or the rez, I will go that extra mile. The North End of Winnipeg is where many city dwellers of First Nations descent live.

"My service is free because I want to live in the same city you do, a clean one," the ad said. (CBC)

Believe it or not, some Siberian-Canadians are not the least bit amused by this outburst of entrepreneurial capitalism. In fact, they have their loincloths in a painful ‘Hate Crime’ knot over it.

North-Wilson/CBC)On Thursday, First Nations leaders at Manitoba Keewatinowi Okimakanak (MKO), an organization representing most First Nations communities in northern Manitoba, said they want police to investigate the ad as a hate crime. "The way it's worded, 'to relocate them to their habitat.' Here we are trying to teach our kids better. The kids out there are told they're not wanted, said MKO Grand Chief David Harper. "This is unacceptable." (CBC)

"Native Extraction Service"? That’s PIGish to the ‘nth degree’.

In my current state of mind, I won’t even pretend to tell how we’ll ever get it back. We are, I’m afraid, in the 'things have got to get a lot worse' phase of an eventual, albeit a long way off, return to what we once were, that shining city on the hill.

I can tell you one thing, that’s etched in stone. There’s no room for that place called America in the brave new world that’s being imposed on us by George Soros and his shill, a Marxist Messiah named Barack Hussein Obama.

America was a nation that one of its presidents called a ‘shining city on a hill’, a nation that showed the world what sovereign individuals working together, voluntarily, could accomplish.

It was a marvelous place that encouraged an individual to strive to achieve the maximum degree of success.

It was a land conceived in liberty where each individual was afforded the opportunity to go as high and as far as his talents, energy. and intelligence would take him.

It was a nation where an individual's great achievement and success were celebrated and cited as an example of what could be accomplished when a person focused all their energy, intellect and talent on a single goal.

It was a land where inalienable individual liberty reigned supreme and the government’s primary function was to maximize each individual’s birthright of unimpeded freedom.

It was the first nation that deliberately imposed limits on its own national government with a constitution that clearly defined the handful of legitimate functions the national government was allowed to perform.

It was a land that invited the free exchange of ideas, all ideas - noble and profane - a land whose inhabitants welcomed the vigorous debate that ensued.

It was a land where an individual had the inalienable right to decide how the fruits of his life’s work would be distributed after his death.

It was a land where a man's rightful property could not be stolen by the government and handed over to another individual.

It was a nation whose inhabitants elevated self reliance, and individual accountability, to virtues.

It was a nation with a notoriously robust sense of humor populated by individuals who were famous for cracking a joke no matter how dire the situation.

It was a land where an immigrant arrived on its shores knowing that success wasn’t guaranteed, but the opportunity to make something of yourself was available to anyone willing to put in the hard work.

It was a land where each newcomer added the best of himself to the land he now called home in exchange for the right to call himself an American.

It was a unique place, a nation the likes of which had never been seen before and hasn’t been seen since.

What ever happened to that place called America?

If you spot America wandering aimlessly in the uncharted wastelands, tell it to phone home, because We the People are trying to bring it back where it belongs, as that shining city on the hill.

Ka-Pow!
During my daily journey through cyberspace, my eyes are regularly assaulted by a ghastly creature named Lady Gaga. Allegedly female - like I care - he, she, heshe, or it belongs to some heretofore unknown, alien species. If this is E.T.'s idea of a joke, I, for one, am far from amused.

I may not be able to identify its species, but I do know one thing about Lady Gaga. He, she, heshe, or it does not own, or has lost the operating instructions for, that commonplace household item, the mirror.

Ka-Pow!
Feeling nostalgic, Mexifornia’s Demoncrats are ready willing and eager for a blast from the past. After rummaging around in the bottom of the barrel, they found a 72 year old fossil from the late 70s. That’s right, Governor Moonbat (1975-1983) is back to drive the final nail in the no longer ‘Golden’ State’s coffin.

Governor Moonbat? Exactly, but you might know him as Jerry "Linda Ronstadt Slept Here" Brown. He's back, and, inexplicably, he’s the top contender for the job. If Mexifornia elects this greeniac Marxist, they deserve the special circle of hell Governor Moonbat will create for them.

Ka-Pow!
When I contemplate the mid-term elections, I do so with a feeling of impending doom. It appears that the Elephant Clan is falling into old, familiar, destructive habits. In too many cases the pachyderm punks are spouting that loser mantra: "Yes, I know how much we REALLY, REALLY, suck, but it doesn’t matter, because THEY SUCK A THOUSAND TIMES MORE".

Unless they’re spectacularly inept, the pachyderm punks will pick up some seats in both houses of congress, in November. How many? It depends on how closely they paid attention to the 2006 elections, the 2008 elections, and the Tea Party movement. If, when November rolls around, they still don’t ‘get it’, I predict that the Elephant Clan will snatch DEFEAT, from the gaping jaws of VICTORY.

The FSOP is continuing the long, laborious, process of Emerilizing our PIG Doctrine. During the next few weeks, we’ll be transforming each element of the PIG Doctrine by making it a clickable link to a longer rant on that topic.

This venerable Hambo rant explores the following element of the PIG Doctrine, in greater specificity:

Each individual is born with a full complement of rights. The government can't give you new rights; it can only take the ones you already have.

A PIGish Rant on Rights

"Each individual is born with a full complement of rights. The government can't give you new rights; it can only take the ones you already have".
- PIG Doctrine

.WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY AND WHAT'S HIS DAMAGE?

I am a sovereign individual.

My life does not belong to the state. It does not belong to that amorphous collectivist illusion "society". It does not belong some supernatural entity. My life is mine and mine alone, not the state's, society's, or a deity's. I demand no more...I demand no less...than the freedom to take those actions and act upon those thoughts that further the primary purpose of life: life itself. I grant no more...I grant no less...than the same consideration to every other sovereign individual. My life and the essential properties thereof - my intellect, my thoughts, my character, my integrity - are mine an mine alone. Since I am the sole owner of my life, the blame or credit for its conduct is entirely mine, not the state's, society's or a deity's. For good or ill, the buck stops here, Sparky.

As sole owner, stockholder and director of my life, I started my tenure by determining that reality is objective: the universe exists independently and is not a figment of my imagination. Objective reality is not a malleable, undefined, chaos that is subject to the whim and whimsy of a capricious supernatural entity. Objective reality is not determined by the unrequited needs of society. Objective reality is not enslaved, altered or changed by the insatiable demands of the Nanny State. Because objective reality is constrained by certain immutable scientific tenets, each and every object in this objective reality possesses - must possess - certain immutable properties which can be observed, measured and, ultimately, understood. A is A, so get over it, Sparky.

Reason, not revelation, chronic societal need or government decree, is the means by which I comprehend objective reality...the means by which I determine those actions required to sustain, conduct and/or improve my life.. Reason, not commandments from on high is the means by which I conduct my own life. Reason, not plaintive wails for the unearned fruits of my labor and/or intellect determines how I conduct my life. Unless coerced by the Nanny State's monopoly on the use of force, reason, not politically motivated hyperbole, determines how, when and why I conduct my life. Reason - not the Nanny State, society, or some deity - determines how, when and why I expend the fruits of my labors and/or intellect. It's my life, my call, so back the hell off, Sparky.

Whereas reality is objective and reason directs my life - my choices, my thoughts, my actions - the Nanny State, society and supernatural entities must butt the hell out, because I don't need their interference in my life. I will not, voluntarily, be enslaved by the Nanny State, "society" or a deity. I will not, voluntarily, surrender the fruits of my labor...I will not, voluntarily, surrender the fruits of my intellect to any individual or entity that hasn't earned them. Conversely, I will not demand, accept, or steal the unearned fruits of another individual's labor and/or intellect. When I require the services, the knowledge, and/or the skills of another sovereign individual, I will negotiate a voluntary, mutually beneficial, bargain to secure their cooperation. I will not exert force, or attempt to coerce a sovereign individual into surrendering his rightful property - real and/or intellectual.

My life and the products thereof are not commodities that must be manipulated, micro-managed, sacrificed to or redistributed by the Nanny State. My life and the products thereof are not public resources that must be plundered to placate any other individual's chronic need. My life is not a toy to be played with, twisted, and/or controlled by some perverse, supernatural entity. I will never, willingly, surrender reason's essential role in directing my own life to the state, society, or a disembodied supernatural entity. My life belongs to me, so if you plan to claim dominion over it, pack a lunch, because you're in for one hell of a fight, Sparky.

I am a sovereign individual.

Getting Down and Dirty with the REAL Hambo

Hambo claims to be a lot of things, the most believable of which is: noted freelance philosopher. He goes on to claim that International Society of Proper-Hyphenation (he made this group up) has, on three separate occasions, given him an award, in recognition of his ground-breaking efforts on behalf of diversity and social justice. He also claims to be an author, which isn’t as big a whopper as you’d expect. We’ve read his mini tome on Management Principles: Sirrom’s Theorem, but we don’t believe his bilge about writing a detailed history of the once prolific, nomadic WASP tribesmen who still can be found in such trackless American wilderness areas as: Grosse Pointe, Aspen, and Laguna Nigel. We can state, that when it comes to himself, Hambo has his way with the truth. On most other things, he’s alarmingly honest and truthful.

He’s a devotee of Orthodox Paganism, but is quick to point out that ‘regrettably’ it's not Classic Orthodox Paganism, which, as everyone knows, requires a sacrificial virgin. Tragically, in his mind, at least, modern society frowns on human sacrifice. Hambo decries this desecration of his beloved Paganism as ‘malignant Christian altruism and rampant God Squad sentimentality’. When pressed on this human sacrifice issue, he reluctantly concedes that the shocking decrease in the virgin population - an alarming decline so severe that virgins have been placed on the endangered species list - might have doomed this aspect of Orthodox Paganism, in any case. That said, Hambo quickly recovers with his patented ‘virtual virgin’ concept. He insists that his version of Paganism will accept a virtual virgin: a girl who vows that she only did it once and swears she didn’t enjoy it. Purists have denounced his resourcefulness, calling it Reformed Orthodox Paganism, a term which he has declared ‘cool’.

Hambo’s bogus business card lists ‘Commentary’ - his allegedly clever way of saying that he's very opinionated, on virtually any topic. His card further lists ‘Political’, his way of admitting that many of his endless opinions are subversive, hostile and generally antagonistic to anything and everything political. The third category on his card, ‘Satire’, is his dubious claim that, occasionally, parts of his endless outpouring of angry verbiage is funny, to a certain kind of reader. We’re alarmed to report that others have bought into this ‘humor’ claim and give him unwanted encouragement, when he goes off on one of his tangents. Okay, we admit it. He makes us laugh, too.

The most insidious thing about Hambo is his ability to bury his insanity beneath a cloak of convincing normality. If you met him on this street, while he's hiding behind this ‘just another forgettable dude’ disguise, you’d never realize the dangerous intellect which is analyzing your every word/action, plotting a way to vilify you in one of his infamous tirades. Doesn’t God Squad scripture warn of wolves in sheep’s clothing? Trust me, they had Hambo in mind when they wrote it.

In short, Hambo is dangerously disturbed...what a mental health professional would term ‘non-clinically bonkers’. Nothing, nobody, is safe from this self described freelance philosopher, so watch yourself. With Hambo on the loose, it's very scary out there.