It’s coming from all points of the political spectrum and we’re fed up with it.
Few days pass without a news report, from somewhere in the world, that shows it’s alive, well, and EVERYWHERE.
Enough already!
We’ve had our fill of whining, whimpering, bitching, blubbering, complaining, and caterwauling.
We’ve had our fill of alleged humans who think their hypersensitivity gives them the right to dictate what sovereign individuals can say, write, do, read, watch on the boob tube, see in a movie theater, or listen to on the radio.
They can’t, or won’t, wrap their mind around a non-negotiable element of objective reality: there is no inherent right which prevents you from being offended. No matter how bitter that pill is to swallow, you must cope with the fact that the right not to be offended DOES NOT EXIST.
Since so many of the world’s alleged humans aren’t paying attention, I’ll, once again, give you the non-negotiable facts about your inalienable individual liberty birthright:
* There is no Constitutional "right" that protects you from being offended.
* You don't have the right to criminalize all speech, all images, all activities that you deem inappropriate for your rugrat.
* You don't have the right to silence others because you don't want to hear what they say.
* You don't have the right to stop others from creating and displaying certain images because you don't want to see them. (Are you paying attention, CAIR? Am I coming through loud and clear Donny?)
* You don't have the right to stop consenting adults from engaging in private, consensual, sexual activities because you disapprove of them.
* You don't have the right to invoke the government's monopoly on the use of force to coerce other individuals to surrender their inalienable right to their own life, their own liberty or the pursuit of their own happiness.
* You do not have the right to use coercive Nanny State power to force them to adhere to your narrow, puritanical, view of propriety.
Inalienable individual liberty in general, and free speech in particular, is a real pisser. It’s an unrelenting thrill ride during which all concepts - including your sacred cows - are tested, molested and denigrated. The ensuing free exchange of ideas - all ideas...sacred to profane and everything in between - is an equal opportunity offender, especially for certain notoriously thin-skinned individuals. Like it or not, it’s part and parcel of inalienable individual liberty.
Blah, blah, blah. I’m putting myself to sleep with this abstract bull crap. It’s time to kick it up several notches and deal with some specifics:
If you’re an Atheist in the Freedom From Religion Foundation who got a painful boo-boo over the USPS’ new Mother Theresa stamp, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, banning it to ‘make it all better’ isn’t an option. Just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re a stoned on Old Ka-Boom supernaturalist who goes postal because a Mexifornia landmark, Mt. Diablo, is named after the Devil, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, forcing a name change on rational adults who like ‘Mt. Diablo’ is not an option. Just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re a ‘ginger’ who lives down under and got a boo-boo over an Aussie zoo’s advert about ‘rangas’ (Aussie speak for orangutans AND slang for red-heads), that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, making them pull the advert is not an option. If ‘ranga’ is too much to bear, just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re so pathetic that a brief glimpse of Janet Jackson’s coco-colored hooter during a Super Bowl broadcast makes you queasy, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, using it as an excuse to dictate what I can watch is not an option. If peek-a-boob makes you catatonic, just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re a hard core, pro-abortion advocate who has a hair-incinerating meltdown over Pam Tebow’s forthcoming - I’m glad I took the serious, personal, medical risk to have my Heisman Trophy-winning son, Tim, instead of getting an abortion - Super Bowl advert, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much you don’t want to hear it, coercing CBS into nuking it, is not an option. If this no shit, life or death drama knots your knickers, just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you detect hidden - from any rational adult - GLAAD BAAG imagery in a character on a lame kiddie program, Teletubbies, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, trying to have it banned from the tube is not an option. If you’re too stressed to handle it, just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re a slacker who gets huffy over job adverts which ask for applicants who are ‘reliable’ and ‘hard working’, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, demanding that the Nanny State slap a ‘discriminatory’ label on it is not an option. It’s time to do what you gotta do: cower in mom’s basement, close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re a properly pious pinhead who has a memorable meltdown, when you encounter a bikini or lingerie clad wench at your local coffee kiosk, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a dam how much it offends you, dictating a coffee barista’s dress code is not an option. If you can't handle a coffee wrangler’s dangerous curves, just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re a gutless wonder who has a hyperventilating hissy fit over shock jocks whose standard fare is Frat Boy prattle and locker room humor, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, using the Nanny State’s monopoly on the use of force to drive them off the airwaves is not an option. If you can’t handle it, and you’re too technologically challenged to change the station, just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re a Morality Nazi who is outraged that the Merriam Webster dictionary in Moonbeam’s or Testeronny’s classroom defines "oral sex" as "oral stimulation of the genitals", that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, having an essential learning tool like a dictionary pulled from the classroom is not an option. If you can’t handle the fun fact that your precious snowflakes discussed this topic, in much more graphic terms, on the playground, just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.
If you’re a Colonista who thinks it’s racist, when an American proudly declares that the USA has one flag, and one language, that’s your personal problem. I don’t give a damn how much it offends you, replacing the Stars & Stripes with another flag and/or replacing English as the language of this land, is not an option. If you don’t like it, then slither back to that beloved blight on the globe where you can GET OVER IT, under the flag of your choice, in any language that thrills you spitless.
Admittedly, our preferred solution - just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT - has its limitations. There are some cases where a more drastic solution, one specifically tailored for a given situation, is required.
For example, what about certain alleged humans who have turned being chronically offended into their life’s work? In some cases - those paragons of tolerance who make ‘the Arab street’ so thrilling - the answer is simple. Since these liberty phobic Islamikazes are perpetually offended, the solution is obvious. Fit them all out in their finest homicide bomber explosive vest, entice the entire insane Islamikaze mob into those precious Arab streets, then blow them to the hell they deserve, simultaneously. No closed eyes needed. No fingers in the ears. No loud humming. LOTS OF GETTING OVER IT.
There are, I’m compelled to admit, other charter members of the professionally offended, for whom there is no cure. Why isn’t there a cure? Because for them, being chronically offended is their profession. I refer to Ethnocrats who make a nifty living from being offended: Je$$e, Al Sharpton, Calypso Louie, and others of that ilk. I also refer to Morality Nazis who have carved out a lucrative market niche while being offended, on behalf of the children and/or ‘for the Lord’. For all of them ‘getting over it’ is not an option, so it’s time to bring out the FSOP’s heavy artillery: STFU, asshole...Don’t make us come over there.
You have the right to be a chronically offended, caterwauling piece of crap. It’s no skin off my nose. You do NOT have the right to force me to change MY life, because my choices as a sovereign individual are ‘offensive’ to a hypersensive asshat like you. If you can’t wrap your mind around that, I’ll simplify it for you: sit down, STFU, and GET OVER IT.
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