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Friday
February 12, 2016

FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race
• EVERLEE •

See this darling little girl? She's the apple of her parents eyes. She happened to be born with cerebral palsy and her loving parents need to make adjustments and accommodations for her.and could sure use your prayers and other considerations to help out with living adjustments. She is also my cousin. If you can, at least hit the link to help, we thank you. Really.

>>> Everlee >>>

• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
ODE TO
BLACK LIES MATTER

There once was a thug named Brown,
Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown,
Six bullets later,
He met his creator,
Then his homies burnt down the town

GRAMMY TIME!
Why Have Granola When You Can Have Some Grammy Tune In.
>>Grammy Time >>
ART TIME!
EnjoyThe Art Of Danish Artist, Cirkeline Nilsson.
>> Cirkline >>
DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
>>> Go Here >>>

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Their Very Own, Self-Imposed Safe Space?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
Cry Bullies
Q. Tarantino
BLM
 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore
Counts As Two Votes.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY
REVISITING APOLOGYVILLE
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The Free State of PIG confronts the collateral damage inflicted by its unrelenting rhetorical barrage?

What they hell did they smoke, this time?
• • • • • • • • • • •

 

According to a venerable dose of Scottish wisdom, "confession is good for the soul". Some of our harshest critics whine that we have a lot to confess. In fact, certain relentlessly caterwauling whiners insist that the FSOP needs to purge the dark stain of mean-spirited, downright snarky, rhetorical broadsides, by apologizing to our countless victims. After giving that blubbering bull crap thoughtful consideration, we laughed like mental patients, then cracked open a new round of brewskies. Game, set, match? Not exactly.

Eventually, as our hangovers abated - slowly - we gave the idea some 'sober' (relatively speaking) consideration. Despite being proud of our wicked wit, we, reluctantly, admitted that, from time to time, our pointed prose inflicted some unintended collateral damage. "You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs" sums it up nicely. Suitably chagrined about these 'innocent victims' of our PIGish prose, we decided to do the right thing, by manning up for a properly PIGish apology.

Our esteemed publisher, Porcus will get us started.

The Free State Of PIG apologizes for being overly and overtly critical of those we have disagreed with over the years. We're sorry for pointing out fatal flaws with organized and individual idiocy as we thought we saw it.

We're sorry for offending people by exercising our First Amendment Rights at the expense of others' hurt feelings. We didn't know your plight.

We're sorry for being snarky and sarcastic when we should have been more considerate.

We're sorry for calling out people of color, transgenders and those we used to consider the fringes of society, and yes, we admit to being born privileged by virtue of being white.

We apologize for not feeling your pain and recognizing your victimhood status.

We're sorry if we were a catalyst for some that feel the need to hide from reality and hibernate in Safe Spaces. As a relief effort, we'll donate some blankies and lollipops as an act of goodwill. We sincerely hope you accept us extending an olive branch in the name of peace and harmony.

We're sorry for calling out the Pop Tarts, highly paid athletes and dumb criminals. We never considered they have mothers and fathers that love them. Can we ever be forgiven for hitting below the belt?

We're sorry for all of our name calling, in-your-face antics we have perpetrated online for all of these years.

We're sorry for self identifying as PIGs when what we really are a couple of unicorns seeking the ends of that all elusive utopian rainbows, just like you.

Most of all, we're sorry for being what we thought was honest commentary when much of the time, we just acted as spiteful and skeptical observers that called them as we see them, or so we thought. If you want to call that Hate Speech, well, we're guilty and very remorseful.

As publisher, I most humbly apologize for unleashing the likes of Hambo upon the cyberspace community, and I vow to fall on my sword right about…

NEVER!!!!

Let 'em have it Hambo.

Stand by for sloppy sentimentality, PIGsters, because the Free State of PIG is going to, once again, road test our elusive 'sensitive' side. How? We decided to serve up a public apology for certain inexcusable instances, where we got it terribly, tragically, wrong.

I know what you're thinking, and you're right. On at least two prior occasions, we tried to purge the stain from our PIGish souls for sins like these:

We apologize for wanting to slather Teddy Kennedy with butter and roast him over a slow fire. We're ashamed that we wanted to waste butter on something this trivial...all things considered, lard is more than sufficient and utterly appropriate.

We apologize for believing that Twerpy Tommy Cruise needs to be hooked up to the power grid and jolted back to objective reality, no matter how long it takes. The power grid, is, we admit, overkill; four PIG staffers with cattle prods should suffice.

We got off on a wrong foot with Messiah Barry, when, inspired by Rush Limbaugh, we called POTUS punk 'Barack O'Dumbo'. How could we be so callous? In addition to slandering the noble pachyderm, we managed to denigrate 'Dumbo', one of the most beloved cartoon characters in Disney history. That's right, PIGsters, this apology is 'for the children'.

We apologize for wanting to put a bag over Paris Hilton's head then encase her hyperactive, diseased, nads in an industrial strength chastity belt. It's insensitive of us, in the extreme, to use just any bag, so we're willing to make amends, by Emerilizing it to a "Gucci" bag.

We apologize for thinking that anyone who screws with America needs to be stomped, HARD. We never should have said "stomped", because, the right thing to do is nuke the bastards until they glow.

After that deeply moving trip to Apologyville, you'd think that we would know better. If, like us, you thought that, welcome to the wonderful world of 'oops, we did it again'. Falling back into those old, familiar, snarky to a fault, habits, we added numerous new entries to our 'victims of PIG's wicked wit' roster.

Here are - this will hurt us more than it hurts you - some painful examples:

We're compelled to apologize for calling Chuck Schumer, a "son-of-a-bitch". It was heartless and cruel of us to insult the noble canine, by assigning Chucky's lineage to the wrong branch of the animal kingdom. Now that we've seen the errors of our ways, we realize that, obviously, he's the latest, and the biggest, in a long, legendary, line of raving jackasses.

We're horrified that we continue to call Quentin Tarantino an "asshole". How can we ever atone for this egregious insult to Charmin toilet tissue, by putting it up close (too damn close) and very personal with THAT stinker? Mister Whipple must be turning in his grave. Sorry about that, dude.

We went unpardonably wrong, when we, repeatedly, sneered that Debbie Wasserman Schultz is 'dumber than a box of rocks'. How can we face ourselves in the mirror, after we vilified the proverbial box of rocks, which, truth be told, never uttered anything as asinine as the typical DWS outburst.

We apologize for pinning the term 'racial extortionist' on Je$$e. That, we now realize, was an insult to hardworking extortionists. We understand, now, that extortionists are much higher on the criminal food chain, than Je$$e who is, in reality, a racially-motivated MUGGER.

During a prior apology tour, we were forced to apologize for comparing a Comrade Hillary presidency to Joseph Stalin's bloody reign of terror. Did we learn our lesson? Apparently not, because we kicked it up a notch, by calling Messiah Barry 'the second coming of Stalin'. Once again, we are forced to apologize to Papa Joe Stalin, a tragically misunderstood Ruskie, who was, in fact, channeling that legendary Ruskie funster, Ivan the Terrible.

We're ashamed that we advocated dragging our Elected Tormentors out of their cushy, reality-insulated, offices, then lining them up against the nearest wall and shooting them down like dogs. We'll never forgive ourselves for advocating wasting a precious resource - high caliber ammo - so foolishly. Having seen the light, we decided there's a better way, one that won't deplete our ammo stockpiles. What way? You'll find out in our next pitstop in Apologyville.

We apologize for our holdover belief from a prior apology tour that our alleged government would function much more efficiently, if an asteroid hit the capitol building while congress is in session. It's still wrong of us to condemn quasi-rational Elected Tormentors like Ted Cruz and Rand Paul to the same fate as the others. We see our mistake and will give these two Legicrats a 10 minute head start, before the smiting ensues.

We deeply regret saying Porn Star Kardashian has an ass the size of Jupiter. The fifth planet from our Sun deserves more respect than that. Besides, Porn Star's gigantic caboose is, in fact, a dead ringer for the Southern end of a Northbound hippo.

We got much too full of ourselves, when we opined that San Fran "Botox Bitch" Nan Pelosi and Dingy Harry "Crypt Keeper" Reid belong in a sideshow's house of horrors instead of Congress. We never intended to insult Wolf Boy, Snake Girl, the Bearded Lady, the Bay Area Conservative, the Los Angeles American Citizen, the Token Alabama Rational Adult or any other atypical individual, by implying that you had sunk to the level of a Pelosi or a Reid.

We deeply regret making that notorious bun ranger, Barney "Lisping Lunatic" Frank, the BUTT of all our homo alleged humor. If we, inadvertently, offended any proctologists in the PIGdom, we apologize from the BOTTOM of our hearts. (Chortle, chortle, chortle.)

We, belatedly, see how wrong it was to call Jihad Jimmy Carter the worst president in American History. We done you wrong Jimmy, but we're going to make it right, by admitting that an even bigger turd just splashed down in the Red Shed's bowl. Sad news peanut punk, you're not even memorable enough to rate 'worst mistake America ever made'. It must really suck to be you.

We're deeply moved by the caterwauling of campus crybullies of the black lives matter ilk. We're whipped with guilt over the way our white privilege riddled culture imposes itself on the hallowed hyphenated horde. Feeling their pain, we're ready, willing, and eager to remove the heavy yoke of white privilege from them.

How will me manage that? How indeed:

The entire telecommunications industry reeks of white privilege since it's all based on an invention by Alexander Graham Bell who was - shudder - white. This white-privilege millstone must go, and that means no oppressive smart phone, land line phone, wireless device, or internet connection will prolong your suffering. Someone will arrive shortly to collect these tools of white oppression.

If you think Alexander Graham Bell is the poster dude for white privilege oppression, get over it. That honor belongs to another white male, Thomas Alva Edison. This heartless monster's white privilege sin is off the scale, since his inventions include: the power grid, the light bulb, the phonograph and the motion picture. For a life unburdened by whitey, the victims of white privilege must jettison their use of our power grid, a liberating move that will ease the cultural shock of their disconnect from the music industry and the movie industry.

Get a pair of walking shoes, because you'll be doing a lot walking after we collect your car which traces its lineage to privileged white males. If you're planning to find some way to power your boob tube, get over it. The televison industry is also constructed on a solid foundation of inventions and discoveries perpetrated by - yes again - whitey.

No phones? Yup. No electrical power? Yup. No music, radio, television or movies? Yup. Don't plan to do any reading, either, because the printing press is another whitey imposed burden thanks to Gutenberg.

How will you survive? Not our problem since you want our white privilege saturated culture out of your life. All we're doing is making amends by helping you shed your white privilege baggage. We're confident you'll learn to like living in your cave. Heat and light won't be an issue, since we're assured that black lives matter marauders have well documented experience when it comes to starting fires.

After reading our list of 'heartfelt' apologies, I'm compelled to admit that 'We're sorry' isn't the Free State of PIG's best move. It's much harder than it appears, an onerous task made especially difficult since, obviously, our hearts aren't in it. I'd like to tell you we give a rat's ass, about any boo-boos we inflict on the richly deserving, but I can't. Asleep or awake...drunk, stoned or sober, no self respecting PIGster is going to buy into this tour through Apologyville. Despite that, we decided to run it up the FSOP flagpole, on the off chance that some of you might be suckered into saluting.

The only REAL apology in this entire piece is our apology to you. Despite our best efforts, we still haven't managed to paint our PIGish bull's-eye on all those targets of opportunity who are, quite frankly, begging for it. We apologize for THAT and promise to keep on spreading our special brand of joy, until we nail each, and every, one of them.

If at first we don't succeed, try, try, again? You better believe it, Apologyville isn't our kind of town Sparky.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>

 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

BAAA

• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To: pig@pigazette.com

 • • • • • • • • • •

Image Source
QRA
 • • • • • • • • • • • •

WORD OF THE DAY

FAN, n.

A stalker waiting to happen.
[Official Dictionary of Sarcasm]

"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."
-Hubert Humphrey

Should women register for the draft?

You're A Redneck If...

You've been too drunk to fish.

You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".

Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".

Your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".

You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

More Redneck Traits

You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

After making love you ask your date to roll down the window.

The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Redneck Hints

Someone in your family says "Cum'n here an' lookit this afore I flush it."

Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You mow your lawn and find a car.

If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".

You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.

You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You think the Mountain Men in deliverance were just "Misunderstood".

You've ever made change in the offering plate.

If the fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year".

You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve...

You own at least 20 baseball hats.

You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank!

Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.

You have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that isn't!

Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep end".

Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You'd rather catch bass than get some (if you can't guess...)

You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertible top.

You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.

You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.

You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.

There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

The theme song at your high school prom was `Friends in Low Places'.

It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

Your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"

Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray.

The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

Ya have to check in the bottom yer shoe for change so you can get grandma a new plug of tobacco.

 

1930 Ma Specter finally clears that 9 month long back door blockage when she poops out a traitorous, Marxism loving, rat goddamn bastard turd named Arlen.

1947 Some unknown celestial prankster decides to heat things up for shivering Siberians, lobs a fireball & meteorite at them in broad daylight.

1963 Gone but far from forgotten: humor challenged Argentine authorities demand that ex-president, Juan Peron, be extradited to face the music.

1998 Justifying their unsafe at any speed reputation, 250 Italian drivers play demolition derby, later blame fog for pileup that kills 4, injures 50 people.

GET YOUR SCOOP OF PIGISH POOP
If your Boob-Tube, News Nit-Wits or Social Media Meatheads aren't providing you with enough Caitlyn, Justin, Miley, The Donald, High Profile Race Hustlers
or anyone else that stops the presses and your world, well, OMG! and WTF! You're in the right place. Kulture Watch takes precision aim at anyone caught in our crosshairs and headlights and will give you, "The rest of the story."
Read More >>>

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>


Google


PIG CALENDAR

February Is
Nuke 'em Month

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Let's give mushroom clouds to the richly deserving.
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BEAT THE BITCH •

Her Highness has officially declared her plans to run for Presidency. If your as giddy as we are, tune into our attempts to pull her panstuits all the way down to the ground.
VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• O-CRAP! •

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Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.
>>> Read More >>>

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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A BETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
>>> Read More >>>

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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
• • • • • • • • • •
NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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WWW.ARIZONABITEME.COM
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TEXAS FRED
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NATIONAL REVIEW
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FARK
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HOPE 'N' CHANGE CARTOONS
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LOCK AND LOAD
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WOODPILE REPORT
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STRANGE POLITICS
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HONOR 1778
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SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
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MISS RED MUSES
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2016 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2015: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.