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Wednesday
June 28, 2017

FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
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• CUPCAKE NATION •
Too many Cupcakes, Basement Boys and preciuos Snowflakes invading your Safe Space? You're in the very most, PIGish Safe Space.

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• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
ODE TO
BLACK LIES MATTER

There once was a thug named Brown,
Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown,
Six bullets later,
He met his creator,
Then his homies burnt down the town

GRAMMY TIME!
Why Have Granola When You Can Have Some Grammy Tune In.
>>Grammy Time >>
ART TIME!
EnjoyThe Art Of Danish Artist, Cirkeline Nilsson.
>> Cirkline >>
DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
>>> Go Here >>>

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Their Very Own, Self-Imposed Safe Space?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
Cry Bullies
Q. Tarantino
#BLM
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore
Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY

ATTENTION GRADS
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"You have to be patient with me - I'm just a guitar player. I didn't go to college. I was too busy learning stuff."
- TED NUGENT.
.
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You might call this Top Story a PIGish trigger warning for objective reality, because the real world can be a pisser, especially if your upbringing and schooling hasn't properly prepared you for it. Our primary focus is the Ivory Tower grad, but it's also applicable to a high school grad who isn't interested in paying through the nose for four more years of brainwashing

For starters, PIG extends hearty congratulations to the High School and College inmates in the graduating Class of 2017! Now that you have your diploma or degree, you're going to need to forget all the social engineering crap you were force fed by Educrat Eggheads for 12 plus years. The mere fact that you're here means one or more of the following is true:

1) Despite the Educrats' best efforts to indoctrinate you with cultural Marxism, multiculturalism, level playing fields, sensitivity training, and diversity, your synapses are still working.

2) You work for the NSA

3) You clicked something during a dizzy spell and when the room stopped spinning, you were here.

4) Your obsession with weird sex convinced you that 'PIG' is a porn site featuring plumpers.

Whatever the case, PIG is here with our Post Graduation Survival Guide. Who knows, we might help you locate that elusive rascal, your inner rugged individual.

We don't promise to tell you what comes next, nor do we plan to save you from yourself, basement boy. What you do is your call. Our primary purpose is to alert you about some of life's speed bumps. Think of us as your very own 'this is Realville' Welcome Wagon.

We're not here to lecture you, no matter what your choice...Choice? That's right, Choice. For the first time, YOU call YOUR own shots, a vital first step in regaining your individuality and securing your independence.

Since the very first day of Pre-School, to the moment you grabbed your High School diploma and told principal dude where to shove it, you have become, in some ways, the product of State Sponsored Follow The Herd Indoctrination. Choice was not an option. Questioning authority was not an option. A difference of opinion was not an option. Hell, dodgeball was not an option...you don't want to get us started on THAT.

Aside from all the Feel-Good Gobbledygook, and maybe some reading, writing and arithmetic, sprinkled in every once in a while, you ask yourself, "What the Hell did I learn?" You better come up with a suitable answer because you're about the do a header into an intransigent brute called "objective reality".

Objective reality is a nasty bit of business that takes no prisoners, but we're not the heartless bastards you think we are. 'Since you're not ready for warts and all reality, we'll jump start your brain with Remedial Enlightenment Here are some essential 'guess what' items to prepare you for your header into that pernicious pest, objective reality and it's partner in crime "real life":

1: Life is not fair; get used to it. Life rarely serves up an equality of results. It does, on the other hand, deploy the same opportunities to all comers.

2: Unlike the Little League in that blue state where you grew up, Life keeps score then picks winners and losers, accordingly.

3: Remember how your rights suffocating campus had designate free speech zones which you needed permission to use.? The real world doesn't work that way. By and large, unless a property owner says otherwise, the good old USA is one big ass free speech zone which you don't need permission to use.

4 The first thing the real world does is rip off your training wheels [trigger warnings, speech codes etc]. You're going to see things you don't want to see, hear things you don't want to hear and encounter concepts you don't want to think about. That's why liberty is such a thrill ride.

5: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

6: Remember when your NO-NAD BFF talked you into switching your major from Sociology to Gender Studies? No harm, no foul, since, in the real world, both have you headed for the same place: a 'do you want fries with that' career path.

7: Get ready for some REAL diversity, a diversity of IDEAS. Those 'undesirables' whom the thought police hounded off campus are much more plentiful than you think. There are a LOT of them and they're everywhere you go. You can't make them shut up, or go away.

8: Unless your family owns the company, you won't snag that six-figure salary. a vice president job and a company paid BMW right out of school. In this Obamanized economy, you'll be damn lucky to pull down minimum wage at a fast food joint.

9: If you think your teachers are tough, wait till you get a boss. S/he doesn't have tenure.

10: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

11: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.

12: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

13: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

14: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

15: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

16: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

17: In school you had that friend, classmate, or roommate who always had his hand out for a loan. He's gone, but he's been replaced by an Uncle named Sam, a dude who shoves his hand much deeper into your pocket. Unlike your school moocher, Uncle Sam demands his 'cut' up front, letting you have what's left.

18: The Obamanized real world is going to piss you off. For example, the Elected Tormentors who do their best to make you miserable are, in fact, your chronically-needy pal from school who went pro in the Moocher Big Leagues.

19: Like it or not, it's still your life, so you might as well own it. Dare to celebrate your successes and have the spine to take responsibility for your mistakes.

20: Speech-silencing kill shots which work at school - 'check your privilege', for example - won't get 'er done in Realville. If you get snarky about it, you'll get up close and personal with an American classic, the knuckle sandwich.

With those basics out of the way, the time is right to "Rise and shine, maggots, you're in the real world now, and class will be in session until the day you die."

Welcome to objective reality, graduate Sparky. If your head isn't spinning, we're doing something wrong.

* It's time for you to pay your own way.

* It's time for you to make your own choices, then accept responsibility for the consequences.

* It's time for you to accept the hard lessons that can only be learned from failure.

* Learn the virtues of self sufficiency: No more free rides. No more Mommy and Daddy paying through the nose for your needless cell phone and text messaging, astronomical auto insurance bills, your room, board and cable and up-to-the-minute, trendy wardrobe. No more summer vacations, unless you pay for it. It's your turn now.

What are you going to do? Let's look at some typical choices.

Choice One: College/Grad School (To make mom happy and avoid that real life nastiness) For the standard issue high school graduate, going to college is the preferred way to delay that fateful day when you run afoul of objective reality. Lacking any genuine motivation to amass the requisite knowledge to carry them through life, the 'just delaying the inevitable' college student will find majors like Psychology, Sociology, Educrap, News Nitwit or Ethnocrat Studies very appealing. It's the fast track to an artificially inflated GPA and the fast lane to keeping that umbilical firmly attached to Daddy's wallet.

Post-Graduation Prospects: Here's a hint: "Do you want that gift-wrapped, sir?" "Do you want fries with that?" "Mom, can you have dad add a high speed internet link to the basement for my computer."

Then there's the Bluto-Class College Student. The dude that's been a fixture on campus longer than the pigeon shit on the noble statues that adorn the quad. He majors in keg parties and morale boosting. He's the happy-go-lucky type that you can't help but like, but before he wears out his welcome, he'll drop out after 6 or 7 years and start a multi-million dollar website and retire at 35, Ferrari and all.

Choice Two: Military Do you want to be told when to wake up, what to wear when/where/what to eat & drink, plus when and where to go to sleep? Want to see the world's armpits, kill terrorist scum and play with things that go boom? The military is adept at filling your days and nights with lots of fun stuff. You won't always enjoy it, but your C.O. will enjoy it for you.

Not only will they cure you of your boredom and laziness, they'll teach you stuff you'll take with you the rest of your life. Discipline, teamwork, achieving goals, self respect, and an appreciation for Mom's home cooking.

In Obamanized America, the military option isn't as spiffy as it was. It has been bastardized by political hacks who hate the military almost as much as they hate America. Thanks to them it's no place for a rational adult. If you loved your Korrectness-riddled life in school, you'll adore the new, egregiously degraded military. Otherwise, this isn't your best move.

I'm hopeful that Defense Secretary Mattis can turn this around.

Choice Three: Employment America's backbone. When you nail that first job, and get that first paycheck, some amazing transformations take place. The upside is that you, through your own initiative, have contributed to your boss, and his concern, plus, your independence. Talk about "self-esteem." Yay!!!

Thanks to that fool Obama, our labor participation rate is in the crapper. The only sector that's hiring is the Nanny State. The Good: Job for life. The Bad: BORING. The Ugly: Your co-workers are Marxist Moonbats.

If/when you land a job, you learn 'the rest of the story'. Upon further inspection, you realize that Uncle Sam is taking a major league bite out of your ass and earnings in withholding taxes. It's wake up time, huh? Imagine, your hard work going to subsidize illegals, welfare cases, both corporate and personal, school systems that are circling the drain, Social Security, which you may never collect, and Obamacare, to name a few. By the time you pay your bills, you're lucky if you can afford to have a social life.

Choice Four: In Obamanized America, a depressing number of Americans are casting admiring glances at the new choice on the block: ward of the Nanny State. It's simple enough, in theory, to just let Uncle Sam do the heavy lifting on paying for stuff. The dark underbelly on this one is very dark. Since Uncle Sam doesn't make anything, it can only get money in one of two ways. He can print it, cheapening the purchasing power of money already in circulation. Or, he can steal it from the individuals who earned it and give it to the leeches who didn't earn it. Eventually, the Nanny State depletes the supply of other people's money.

It's too soon to determine how POTUS Trump will impact these options.

Once Again, Congratulations and Good Luck in Mommy's Basement!.

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• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY
"...and Shit-For-Brains Forgot The Lighter!!!"
• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To: pig@pigazette.com

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Image Source
MLB
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WORD OF THE DAY
COMMITTEE, n.
A group of supremely uninteresting people whose sole purpose is to gather together and make sure that nothing of note is ever accomplished.

"Hillary Clinton today called the GOP the party of death, insulting the millions of dead people who voted for her last November."
- Argus Hamilton

To The Fine Folks In America's Heartland: You have endured Dust Bowls, drought and tornados but, can you handle a new craze bound to invade your towns called 'Hambo Mania?'

The News In Zingers
Argus Hamilton

O.J. Simpson will appear before the Nevada Parole Board in four weeks to seek his release. He has been reportedly been recently approached by TV producers who want O.J. to star in a reality show once he’s out. They’re pitching it to the networks as a cross between The Bachelor and Survivor.

Bill Cosby announced Thursday that he will be delivering a series of town-hall lectures about how to avoid sexual assault. It appears that Cosby has decided to do his community service before he even gets convicted and sentenced. The name of the lecture series is Anesthesiology for Dummies.

The Hollywood Reporter took note Sunday of the growing number of stars who’ve joked about killing the president and asked if the stars are just using Trump to promote their careers. Last week in England, Johnny Depp joked about assassinating President Trump. It’d be his first hit in five years.

The Hollywood Reporter noted that Johnny Depp was the eleventh celebrity since the election to joke about assassinating the president. If this trend continues, it could end runaway production. All the movies and TV shows will have to be filmed in Hollywood if all the stars are on the No-Fly List.

President Trump released financials Monday revealing he made six hundred million dollars in income last year while he was defeating seventeen Republicans, defeating Hillary and sleeping with his third super-model wife. The Democrats are right. How did an idiot like this get elected president?

Churchill, starring Bryan Cox, opens in movie theaters this weekend. He drank whiskey all day, smoked cigars and he lived to be ninety. When the Republicans returned the bust of Churchill to the Oval Office it never occurred to them that his health care plan would pass unanimously today.

The White House expressed hope Sunday that the GOP Senate can settle on a health care bill and pass it this week. Trump is hoping the GOP Senate can pass a more humane bill than the GOP House bill. Last month the House Republicans passed a health care bill, called If They Die, They Die.

Senate Democrats worked hard to save Obamacare this week. So far, anger over Obamacare has cost the Democrats the House, Senate and White House. If the Apocalypse were Barack Obama’s signature achievement, Democrats would be extolling the virtues of Death, Famine, War and Conquest.

President Trump went on Fox News Sunday morning to kick off Energy Week and he called on America to become the world’s leader in energy and fossil fuel production. We make a great product. Gasoline is now cheaper than water in Oklahoma City and healthier than the water in Flint.

President Trump rolled back U.S. deals with Cuba that support the Cuban military which takes a percentage off the top of business income. Not the underground economy. Prostitution is such a huge and accepted part of Cuba’s economy that future maps will refer to it as Secret Service Island.

The California Assembly passed a ban on state officials flying to Texas in protest of the Lone Star state’s perceived biased against transgenders. White House reaction was swift. Hours after California passed its travel ban to Texas, President Trump thanked California for the legal precedent.

Mexico was rated the world’s second bloodiest nation in a survey released Thursday. It’s such a rich country, too. In addition to all the gold and silver they mine, all the oil they drill, the tequila they distill and all beer they brew, Mexico is also the world’s number-one manufacturer of Americans.

A Colorado dad petitioned the state to ban smart phones to kids under thirteen after seeing his son’s addictive behavior with the technology. It’s already ruined one generation. Millennials when having sex never know if their partner is shrieking from sexual pleasure or from iPhone withdrawal.

* * * * * * * * * *

Stress Management

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?' She fooled them all. "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile. Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night.

1. Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue!

2. Always keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them.

3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4. Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8. Never buy a car you can't push.

9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12. The second mouse gets the cheese.

13. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15. Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

16. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

17. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

18. Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

19. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate!

1894 Uncle Sam declares Labor Day an official holiday for federal employees.
1914 One of those notoriously peace-loving Serbs guns down heir to Austrian throne, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, in Sarajevo, a feat of marksmanship that started WWI.
1935 Tired of all that loose change in his pocket, FDR orders gold vault built at Fort Knox.
2000 US Supreme Court gives Boy Scouts green light to ban GLAAD BAAG troop leaders.
GET YOUR SCOOP OF PIGISH POOP
If your Boob-Tube, News Nit-Wits or Social Media Meatheads aren't providing you with enough Caitlyn, Justin, Miley, The Donald, High Profile Race Hustlers
or anyone else that stops the presses and your world, well, OMG! and WTF! You're in the right place. Kulture Watch takes precision aim at anyone caught in our crosshairs and headlights and will give you, "The rest of the story."
Read More >>>

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>



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PIG CALENDAR

June Is
News Nazi Month

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Set their liar liar pants on fire fire.
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A B
ETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
>>> Read More >>>

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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
ALICE'S RESTAURANT
PIGsters! You don't have to wait until Schools Out to head into Alice Cooper'stown in Phoenix, AZ, an eatery founded by Alice Cooper and Randy Johnson. A place where Jocks and Rock meet. Try their specialty, The Big Unit.
>>> Menu >>>
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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WWW.ARIZONABITEME.COM
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TEXAS FRED
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NATIONAL REVIEW
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FARK
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HOPE 'N' CHANGE CARTOONS
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LOCK AND LOAD
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WOODPILE REPORT
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STRANGE POLITICS
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HONOR 1778
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SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
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MISS RED MUSES
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2017 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2015: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.