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July 24, 2014

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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore & Any Kardashian caboose Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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TOP STORY
CULTURE QUEST
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The FSOP takes a properly PIGish look at popular culture.

After giving our table a memorable pounding for several weeks in a row, we decided to lighten things up, this week. Regrettably, the Obamunist Error makes us so pissed, we need a distraction to help us chill out before we snap.

Instead of grabbing Old Betsy and Big Bang for a Progtard hunting expedition, we seek our brain chilling solace in popular culture. There's no way that's going to rile us up.

Our first instinct is to reach for that TV remote, but we're not ready to go there, so we seek our refuge in the compelling fantasy worlds portrayed in comic books. It's a place that's insulated from Korrectness, or is it? What we find is far from encouraging.

* Archie Andrews: Dies taking a bullet for his gay friend.

Back in April, Archie Comics broke the news to the world that they will be killing off their titular character, Archie Andrews, in the final issues of their Life With Archie series, which follows the lives of the Riverdale gang after college.

Archie will stop an assassination attempt on his best friend, Kevin Keller, who is also Archie Comics' first openly gay character. Keller first appeared in the comic in 2010, and is now a married military veteran and a newly elected senator who is pushing for better gun control after his husband was involved in a shooting. Archie will take a bullet for Kevin and ultimately die from the gunshot wound. [E! Online]

Gun control? Gay marriage? I'll pass.

* Thor: Rewriting Norse Mythology, Thor is now a woman.

"The inscription on Thor's hammer reads 'Whosoever holds this hammer, if HE be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.' Well it's time to update that inscription," said Marvel editor Wil Moss in a statement. "The new Thor continues Marvel's proud tradition of strong female characters like Captain Marvel, Storm, Black Widow and more. And this new Thor isn't a temporary female substitute – she's now the one and only Thor, and she is worthy!"

Wait, there's more.

"This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR," said writer Jason Aaron. "This is the THOR of the Marvel Universe. But it's unlike any Thor we've ever seen before." [Fox News]

What's next? Thor gets knocked up? If Thor can be female, doesn't 'fair play' require a Wonder Woman who is, at minimum, a Tranny?

* Spiderman: Got hyphenated and emerged as black & Latino.

Miles Morales is a fictional comic book superhero who appears in books published by Marvel Comics, in particular the monthly series Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man. The character was created by writer Brian Michael Bendis and artist Sara Pichelli, with Bendis and Marvel editor-in-chief Axel Alonso drawing inspiration from both U.S. President Barack Obama and American actor Donald Glover.

Miles Morales first appeared in Ultimate Fallout #4 (August 2011), following the death of Peter Parker. A teenager of Black Hispanic descent, Miles is the second Spider-Man in the Ultimate Marvel continuity. Although Morales features in the Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man comic book series, he is not the lead character in the Ultimate Spider-Man animated TV series that debuted in April 2012 on Disney XD. Reaction to the character varied, with some, including Spider-Man's creator, Stan Lee, approving the creation of a positive role model for non-white children, to displeasure at the replacement of Peter Parker, with some decrying it as a publicity stunt motivated by political correctness, a charge Alonso denied. [Wikipedia]

This reeks of Korrectness.

*Spiderman: While researching the foregoing data, I found a YouTube of Spiderman & Superman liplock.

*Green Lantern: He got re-deployed as a GLAAD BAAG.

The original Green Lantern - a DC Comics mainstay for the past 70 years - will be revealed to be a gay man in next week's issue of "Earth 2."

Alan Scott - formerly a married father of two who first appeared in 1940 - tips readers off to his sexuality early on in the comic when he gives his boyfriend a welcome home kiss.

"He's very much the character he was. He's still the pinnacle of bravery and idealism. He's also gay," "Earth 2" writer James Robinson told The Post. [Fox News]

What's the point?

There are ominous rumblings about Captain America, but I've had all I can take in the comic book universe. I need a good laugh, so I tune in to the Tonight Show for some snarky comments on the Obamunist debacle. What a letdown! Jimmy Fallon isn't getting it done, because he's not allowed to go 'there'. Obviously, standup comedy is a risky business, in Korrected America.

I remember Johnny. I also remember Jay whose departure was weird, given his high ratings.

Why did NBC get rid of the funniest man on late night TV? Here's one compelling possibility:

News is leaking out from Hollywood executives in-the-know that the Obama White House had been leaning on, pressuring executives at NBC for the last two years to replace Jay Leno because the comedian was criticizing President Obama every night. Obama didn't like it and considered it a racist attack on him.

Since his inauguration in Jan. 2009 Obama had enjoyed three years of very, very friendly routines from all the late night comics on ABC, CBS, and Leno at NBC - there was no criticism at all.

But after data came to light that $100's of millions had been spent on First Family vacations during a recession, Mrs. Obama's unpopular new laws that changed food in America's schools and other negative news including the disastrous Obamacare rollout & website mess, Jay Leno took his comedy to a different level and his ratings skyrocketed - none of the other comics were so bold.

GOLDEN OLDIES FROM JAY:

"I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't want to get audited by the IRS."

On NSA surveillance: "We wanted a president who listens to all Americans - now we have one."

On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: "If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month."

Concerning the Benghazi, Associated Press, and IRS scandals: "Remember in the old days when President Obama's biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?"

On Obama saying he didn't know about the IRS scandal: "He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS."

"It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth."

"These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. It's gotten so bad that People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American."

Between Obamunists like Fallon and Colbert, late night laughs are few and far between.

So far, my flight from reality has been a monumental waste of time, although it did produce a gem from The Superficial.

* Kanye West: He's finding out, the hard way, that OWNING Kim "Pornstar" Kardashian isn't as much fun as simply hooking up from time to time to bone her.

The Superfical put it this way:

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have only been married 46 days and already he hates being in the same room with her. In fact, they've only spent nine days together since their honeymoon where shit immediately began falling apart. Radar reports:

"Kim complained and sulked the entire time they were in Ireland on their honeymoon," an insider revealed. "She didn't like the cooler damp climate, and the lack of high-end designer stores. Kanye tried to arrange tours of local museums, but she wanted nothing to do with it. Only Kim would go to Ireland and be bored, and go to two separate movies in the same day in a foreign country!"

Eventually they bailed on Ireland after Kim talked Kanye into taking her to Joe Francis' mansion in Mexico where she spent their now second honeymoon posing for wet T-shirt pics to sell to very same people who rape her husband, so really it's a miracle these two aren't destined for a lifetime together:

"Kanye was miserable and brooding," the insider claimed. "He isn't really the 'lounge by the pool kind of guy.'"

"Kanye now recognizes that Kim's main interest are shopping and lounging around a pool," the insider said. "It's really concerning to Kanye that Kim doesn't even want to try to experience new things."

While being caught cashing in on another fake marriage should be embarrassing, we're talking about a den of vipers with no souls whose iPhone app is on track to make $200 million. She could be photographed drowning her baby in a tub because she had to spend five minutes with it and still not give a fuck. "Is money still pouring into my bank account? Then we're good here. Now how's my makeup? Stupid thing kept splashing."

I should try and muster some sympathy for Scowler (Kanye), but he had to know that a lifetime pass for unrestricted access to Short and Porny's (Kim's) naughty bits isn't worth the high price. High price: Mama Kardashian and her hellish brood; a fetchingly f**kable dunce like Kim; and the inevitable fleecing when this marriage falls apart...any moment now.

Playing it safe, I seek my solace in the world of sports, where never is heard a Korrectnik word. Well, almost never.

* University of Missouri Defensive End Michael Sam: A few days before the 2014 NFL Draft, he 'came out', telling the whole world 'I'm gay.' My initial reaction was 'so what', and it didn't change after the MSM went GLAAD BAAG bonkers over it. After thinking it over, and looking at some evaluations of Sam's football prowess, I hatched a PIGish theory.

I suspect that Sam was hedging his bets, by coming out. His 'gay' status gave him a weapon - homophobia - to wield against the league if he didn't get drafted. Unwilling to go there, the league worked privately to see that someone drafted him. His ploy worked, because, in the 7th round, the Rams made him the 249th overall pick.

Did he deserve it, or did his 'if you don't draft me it's because I'm gay' ploy work? I'll let you make the call.

* L.A. Clippers Owner Donald Sterling: He's not going to win a Mr. Congeniality prize and that's as it should be, I suspect. Despite that, I think his 'racism' is nothing of the kind. He's a geezer with a young hottie mistress and his real concern is preventing her from embarrassing him, publically, at Clippers games.

Although the latest recording claims that Sterling was jealous, the tapes released last month by TMZ purportedly reveal Sterling being OK with Stiviano sleeping with black men.

Referring to [Magic] Johnson, Sterling purportedly said: "Admire him, bring him here, feed him, f**k him, but don't put (Magic) on an Instagram for the world to have to see so they have to call me. And don't bring him to my games." [CNN]

Nothing to see here, move along.

* Washington Redskins: 'Redskins' and the team logo that goes with it, have the usual suspects setting their hair on fire. This follicle incineration encompasses Elected Tormentors, professional sports prattlers and press card packing Korrectniks [I.E. The Washington Post won't use the term 'Redskins'.] One Nanny State cabal - the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board (TTAB) of the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) - nuked the Skins' federal trademark registration on June 18, 2014.

Support for continued use of the name has come from the team's owners and a majority of fans, which include some Native Americans. They say that the name honors the achievements and virtues of Native Americans, and that it is not intended in a negative manner. Supporters also assert that a majority of Native Americans themselves are not offended, based upon a public opinion poll in 2004 in which 90% of those who identified as American Indians answered that they were "not bothered" by the name "Redskins" being used for the Washington football team. Some, such as team president Bruce Allen, also point to the use of Redskins by three high school teams, two on reservations, that have a majority of Native American students. [Wikipedia]

I'm fed up with the dark underbelly of popular culture, which is really starting to suck. Does that mean my quest is an abject failure? Far from it. I still have several never fail alternatives:

* My iTunes music library, where Twerky (Miley Cyrus) and Jerky (Justin Bieber) need not apply.

* The Velocity Channel, where shows like 'Chasing Classic Cars', 'Overhaulin' and 'Wheeler Dealers' get 'er done for me.

* My Kindle Book Library, where hours of entertainment can be found in a P.D. James or Nero Wolf mystery.

It's time, better late than never, to deploy the 'Mission Accomplished' banner, PIGsters. That sound you just heard is that table in our bunker breathing a sigh of relief.


• PIG's Weekly News Digest
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

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WORD OF THE DAY

CEASE FIRE, n.

Jihadikaze code for, 'all Zionists and Infidels stay put, while we restock, rearm and refine our aim', it invariably ends with a deafening BANG.

"It was only a couple of years ago that the world sported only two genders of human beings -- male and female. Now Facebook allows folks to self-identify into 50 possibilities, only two of which are truly genders. I find this particularly perplexing. Do we have gender designations for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, the transgendered who dress in drag but haven't had surgery, the transgendered who have had surgery but it didn't go well? Do we differentiate between the men who have become women and the women who have become men? The 97% of us who are not confused about all of this are now called cisgendered instead of straight. Governor Brown in California has ruled against the use of the terms husband and wife in public documents. What will go next, mother and father? Brave New World, here we come -- complicate and alter vocabulary adequately and you rob folks of the ability to think with clarity and confidence."
– Deana Chadwell

Do the Obamas want a house in Mexifornia, so Moose (Barry's bride) can replace Boxer or DiFi in the U.S. Senate?

Canada's Top 10 List

America has become the laughing stock of the world. How sad. The only President elected BECAUSE of his skin color. No experience, no love of country, no idea how economics works, no hiring experience to hire the best and brightest, just the people who idolize him and always agree with him, and the worst of all no love for the Constitution.

This is Canada's Top Ten List of America's Stupidity. Of course we look like idiots... because we are.

10) Only in America... could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 per plate campaign fund-raising event.

9) Only in America... could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black, while only 14% of the population is black and 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans - 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics!

8) Only in America... could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

7) Only in America... can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

6) Only in America... would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just "magically" become American citizens (probably should be number one).

5) Only in America... could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists."

4) Only in America... could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote!

3) Only in America... could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company(Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

2) Only in America... could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.

1) Only in America... could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all.

The News in Zingers
July 22, 2014
By Argus Hamilton

• Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave no timeline for an end to the Israeli invasion of Gaza. It won't ever end. Last year an Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in transplant surgery, and now he can't stop throwing rocks at himself.

• Israeli forces advanced into Gaza a second day Friday determined to root out the Hamas militants who fired missiles into Israel and tunneled terrorists into the Jewish state. Hamas leaders say they don't recognize Israel. Of course they don't recognize it, they keep blowing it up.

• Russia faced international condemnation for supplying missiles to Ukrainian rebels over the past weekend. The Kremlin is worried this could hurt tourism. Vladimir Putin will star in a commercial for Russian tourism in which he urges you to visit Russia before Russia visits you.

• Russia's president Vladimir Putin demanded a cease fire in Ukraine Friday following the passenger jet missile shootdown the day before. He's said to be livid with anger over the incompetence of the rebels who shot the plane down. In his last order he said lunch, not launch.

• Malaysian Airlines faced criticism Friday for flying over a war zone in eastern Ukraine where two aircraft were shot down earlier in the week. This, on top of the Malaysian airliner that disappeared three months ago and hasn't been found. Most airlines just lose your luggage.

• The Democratic National Committee said Friday they will announce the 2016 convention site in November. The party tends to favor the cities with NBA teams. Democrats love going to NBA games because it's the only chance they ever get to boo a bunch of millionaires to their face.

• The Royal Family gathers at Buckingham Palace today to celebrate Prince George's first birthday. The adorable boy has all the English-speaking world captivated. He's just third in line to the throne, but as Prince Charles has already assured him, it's a really slow-moving line.

Now That's Funny

TEL AVIV, Israel (CBS News/CBSDC/AP) — Secretary of State John Kerry defied a Federal Aviation Administration ban and flew into Israel's main airport Wednesday in a sign of sheer will to achieve a cease-fire agreement in the warring Gaza Strip despite little evidence of progress in ongoing negotiations aimed at halting fighting that's left at least 31 Israelis and 650 Palestinians dead.

Kerry's arrival in Israel came as Israeli troops battled Hamas militants near a southern Gaza Strip town as dozens of Palestinian families trapped by the fighting scrambled to flee the area. [...]

Kerry flew to Tel Aviv from Cairo, where he met Tuesday with Egypt's president and other high-level officials.

An unusual screening process occurred involving Kerry and his State Department team as they were subjected to a metal detector before meeting with President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi at the Egyptian presidential palace.

Reuters reports that Kerry and his aides were checked with a metal detector. Security personnel reportedly raised a handheld metal-detector wand to Kerry's suit jacket before waving him through.

Kerry's aides were also subjected to the handheld wand and were told to walk through a metal detector.

1824 Political bean counting is changed forever when the Harrisburg Pennsylvanian fishwrap publishes results of 1st opinion poll; Comrade Hillary calls it a 'vast right-wing conspiracy'.

1842 A writer with a rare gift for satire, Ambrose Bierce born in Ohio.

1847 Brigham Young, an untraditional family values kind of dude who had 26 wives, finally gets his followers to their own promised land, Salt Lake City (Utah)

1870 First transcontinental rail service begins in the United States.

1898 A woman whose disappearance spawned a new junk science genre, Amelia Earhart born, her epic flight into
modern mythology waits in the wings.

1962 For the first time, a U.S. commercial plane gets hijacked to Cuba.

1974 Tricky Dicky Nixon to U.S. Supreme Court: "I won't turn over my tapes and you can't make me." Supreme Court to Tricky Dicky: "Yes we can. Don't make us come over there."

1991 University of Manchester scientist finds a planet outside solar system.

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
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INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those thart merit this odiferous awad. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
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PIG CALENDAR

July Is
Founding Fathers Month

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They poured the solid foundation for our liberty. Upkeep is our job.
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
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• O-CRAP! •

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Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.
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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A BETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



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Copyright © 1993-2013: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.