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Friday
August 22, 2014

FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race
FREE HIM..NOW!

A Forgotten Man
 
The Duffer In Chief traded 5 top terrorist leaders for a man who is, many believe, a deserter.
 
This same Oval Office Pussy won’t lift a finger to free Marine Sgt Andrew Tahmooressi, whose only ‘crime’ is making a wrong turn at the U.S.- Mexican border.
 
Call your Elected Tormentor. Demand that Mexico be forced to set this political prisoner free.

RIGHT ON
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Exercise >>>
'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
>>> Go Here >>>

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore & Any Kardashian caboose Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY
SCHOOL DAZED
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"Much of the social history of the Western world, over the past three decades, has been a history of replacing what worked with what sounded good."
– Thomas Sowell.

With the end of their Summer Vacation looming large, students from sea to shining sea are dusting off their thinking caps, then tracking down their bag of magic Educrap tricks so they can pack it with the learnin' essentials. We have the utmost confidence in them, where the basics are concerned, BUT, we're compelled to raise some issues, so they'll be ready for all contingencies.

Before you walk through those cess-school doors, We the PIGs will do our level best to prepare you for the Brave New Educrap World you're about to enter. Part survival kit, part lifeline to the real world, this PIGish prose is a must read for any, all, of you back to schoolers.

Unless you attend one of those cess-schools - and we all know the ones I mean, so don't play dumb on me - you probably won't need a fully-functional AK-47, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't arm yourself. You'll need some of the following items to get you through this war with your mind unsullied by rampaging Cultural Marxism:

* The Cato Institute's pocket-size copy of the U.S. Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. You need this to remind yourself that you're still in America, not a Marxist Gulag.

* Elephant Tranquilizers to use on that peacenik teacher who starts foaming at the mouth while blithering about its "Hate America" exploits with Cindy Sheehan, Ramon "Martin Sheen" Estevez and Peace Prize Barry.

* A cattle prod (pepper spray is marginally acceptable) to ward off that horndog teacher who keeps trying to grope you.

* A crash course in "Self Hypnosis" is essential if you expect to survive such mind-shattering sludge as "Black History Month", "Womyn's History Month", plus months dedicated to the differently sexual, Sombrero Stomping Colonistas, and Siberian-Americans (So-called "Native" Americans).

Are we taking copious notes, Back to School Sparky? We better be, because a pop quiz is not out of the question.

Upperclasspersons need not feel slappably smug, because, they, too are doomed to do a header into certain annoying changes the Educrats imposed while you weren't looking:

* If you have a teacher named Ms. Danielle Smith that has unusually muscular legs, shoulders that put a linebacker's to shame, thick hands and a large Adam's Apple, something seems wrong. Chances are that last year, Danielle Smith, was actually Mr. Daniel Smith.

* Unless you plan to bring your own, kiss those Ding Dongs, Ho Ho's, Butterfingers, Lays, Fritos, Cokes and any/all fun food goodbye, because the Fat Nazi's are making everyone miserable with their war on student obesity. [You might as well steel yourself for an annoying, egregiously intrusive, Gestapo-class interrogation about your eating habits early in the school year.]

* If you like silly stuff like the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, get over it, because they are deemed uncool for school. Easter and Christmas are out, but Earth Day and Gay Pride Day are in.

If you're starting to feel like a donut at a cop's convention, you're finally starting to 'get it', Sparky. Since PIG is here to get you through your ordeal, we'll share a few survival tips.

For starters, you probably shouldn't ask your teacher any of these questions:

* Is it true that the Tennessee Tonnage is so massive that he has his own event horizon which separates the real world from his black hole of liberal suckage?

* Will my Je$$e Translator 7000 decode Ebonics?

* With lookers like Congresshag Rosa L. DeLauro, San Fran Nan, Whoopi Goldberg, and Rosie O'Donnell populating the progressive ranks, is butt ugly a prerequisite for liberal women?

* If I buy a movie camera, gain 400 pounds, stop shaving, and spend my time hounding rational adults, can I call myself a movie maker like Michael Moore does? Does the "movie maker" job description include a 'complete and utter moron' requirement?

* Does a tenured teaching position include a "Marxist Asshat" prerequisite, or am I just having a terminally crappy run of luck this term?

* I'm trying to be thrilled spitless about your "Hating America" summer with Barry and his boyz, but what, if anything, does this have to do with Algebra, Comrade Egghead?

PIG also shares some Dos and Don'ts:

* Bringing a gun, a knife or drugs (legal and illegal) will get you suspended.

* Chewing your PopTart into a gun-like shape then pointing it at someone will get you suspended.

* Any drawing depicting a gun, even the most crudely rendered image, will get you suspended.

* Deploying a finger gun will get you suspended.

* Exercising your Freedom of Speech birthright, outside the campus' free speech zone, without permission, will get you expelled.

* Advocating "individualism", "excellence", "merit", "personal accountability"or "inalienable individual liberty" will get you expelled.

* Identifying yourself as a PIGster might get your executed by a Korrectnik firing squad at high noon. If you feel compelled to read the PIG Primer out loud in class, you might want to invest in a Kevlar vest, first.

* Never say "mine". Korrectnik's insist on shared ownership so the approved term is "ours".

* Don't tell your pal he "throws like a girl". Instead, try to let your differently-athletic pal down easy by saying "This obviously isn't your game. Maybe you should stick to a sport you do well, like drop the soap".

The best title for this section is: 'Guess What?

* The girl's restroom is no longer your safe haven from that punk with the mirrors on his shoes, Larry the Lizard. If he barges into your girl's restroom, your first impulse might be to pepper spray the mutant, then kick him in the balls. We like your style, and that's a fact. Unhappily for you, Larry is calling himself Laurie these days, while claiming he has a GID.

What's Larry's damage? It's called Gender Identity Disorder and it's the cause celebre among Victocrats. Here's how Wikipedia describes it:

Gender identity disorder (GID), also known as gender dysphoria, is the formal diagnosis used by psychologists and physicians to describe persons who experience significant dysphoria (discontent) with the sex they were assigned at birth and/or the gender roles associated with that sex. It describes the symptoms related to transsexualism, as well as less extreme manifestations. Affected individuals are commonly referred to as transgender.

In real life, GID involves some wingnut who isn't thrilled spitless with their plumbing. I don't give a damn what THEY call it. I call it Mad [at my] Nads Disorder. Is it real? Probably, for 1 in 30,000 individuals. For the rest, Mad Nads is just one of those disorder of the month brain farts. It's hip...it's the in thing...it puts you on the cutting edge of victimhood.

It's primary 'perk' is a thrilling one: Mad Nads lets you use any locker room, any restroom, that the tranny wants to use.

If you're thinking this is strictly an adult brain fart guess again. School districts in Mexifornia and Massachusetts have done away with gender-defined restrooms. Anyone can use any restroom in any grade school, middle school or high school. Why? 'We' must coddle Mad Nad nitwits, by letting them swap gender roles, whenever the mood strikes them.

* Your advance placement classes - if they still exist - are no longer a blessed respite from unmotivated, disruptive, and/or what the Eggheads call 'learning challenged' students. Those heady days when the pace of learning was FAST, and the subject matter challenging, are long gone. Why? Because human intelligence isn't properly diverse.

Henceforth, all brainiac classes will be adjusted, to make room for the under-represented groups (based on immutable traits). It will, of course, mean qualified advance placement students will be replaced with unqualified, properly-hyphenated 'scholars'.

* Your school's curriculum has been Korrected. Your history class - if they still have it - has jettisoned things like the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, all of WWI and WWII, plus various other items which are vilified as too white, and too male. Instead you'll be deluged with twaddle about GLAAD BAAGs, whining womyn, and blather about obscure, third world cultures. The goal is to make you hate anything, and everything, American.

This twaddle deluge isn't restricted to your history classes. You'll find it in the reading/writing assignments in English, and it will also rear its ugly head in math problem prose. Junk science has suffocated real science making it full court Korrectnik press.

In Santa Maria (Mexifornia) cess-schools, students must take a Latino/Chicano Studies course. In the state legislature, Jackass Party asshats are working to impose mandatory ethnic studies courses a requirement state-wide.

At the end of last month, Assembly Bill 1750 passed the state Assembly with a vote of 59-20.

Assemblymember Luis Alejo (D-Salinas), the bill's sponsor, said it will seek to identify the best ways to make ethnic studies classes a part of California's education standards.

That means the class would be mandatory but could be worked in by standardizing social studies classes that are currently electives for ninth-graders, or it could be an advanced placement course, or it could take another avenue.

Ideally, Alejo said, it would be flexible enough to allow for schools to offer broad-scope ethnic studies classes or focus on a specific group like Valencia's Chicano/Latinos studies course does.
[Santa Maria Times]

Are you thrilled spitless, yet, back to school Sparky?

If you're feeling smug, because you're taking the higher Educrap plunge at some Ivory Tower, here are some thrilling tidbits for you to chomp on:

* Diversity grading is all the rage. Since the people EARNING that A aren't 'representative' of the entire school population, the college Korrectniks are looking at various methods to achieve the desired 'propely diverse' results. It's probably going to involve giving anyone who shows up for a class an A.

* That booty call isn't as simple as 'hey baby', then 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am'. For example, there's a butt load of red tape:

Legislation passed by California's state Senate in May and coming before the Assembly this month would require schools to set a uniform standard for consent that could be used in investigating sexual assault allegations.

The bill, known as SB-967, says:

"Affirmative consent means affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. It is the responsibility of each person involved in the sexual activity to ensure that he or she has the affirmativeconsent of the other or others to engage in the sexual activity. Lack of protest or resistance does not meanconsent, nor does silence mean consent."

It also states that "affirmative consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual activity and can be revoked at any time. The existence of a dating relationship between the persons involved, or the fact of past sexual relations between them, should never by itself be assumed to be an indicator of consent."

The accused also could not use being under the influence of drugs or alcohol or recklessness as an argument for believing the complainant, according to the legislation.

It also is not consent if the complainant was asleep or unconscious, was unable to communicate due to a mental or physical condition, or incapacitated due to the influence of drugs, alcohol, or medication, so the complainant could not understand the fact, nature, or extent of the sexual activity. [CBS Local]

What happens, if you don't get iron clad consent? A dude accused of boinking without permission would get more justice at a Kangaroo Court than he will under what most colleges call 'due process'.

Have We the PIGs killed your school spirit? Good, because you'll start the school year with your eyes wide open.

This isn't your Grandpa's 'little red schoolhouse' and these schoolmarms have their own political agenda. Play it smart and keep your wits about you, because, if you're a rational individual, that Educrap institution is enemy territory.

I think I hear the bell, I mean siren. Now hurry along now, get to class, and cleanse that mind of yours. That's what school is these days, enjoy.


• PIG's Weekly News Digest
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of the week's events.
Updated Every Monday >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

Punked

• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To:
pig@pigazette.com

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Image Source
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WORD OF THE DAY

BLOW, v.

A word with many meanings, none of which are as dirty as what you are thinking right now.
[Official Dictionary of Sacrasm]

"The only way you deal with Islamic State - these bloodthirsty, blood-drunken terrorists - is to kill them, keep on killing them, until you kill the last one, then you kill his pet goat."
–Ralph Peters

Why is it that the left are the only people in this country who can resist, who can obstruct, who can sabotage? I say we resist and where we can obstruct and where we can sabotage tyranny. What do you say?'
–Mark Levin

The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton

• The Washington Redskins raised their fists for black rioters in Ferguson on Monday. The fans sang Hail to the Redskins loudly to anger Indians, and then Johnny Manziel gave everyone the middle finger. The Klan watched the game on TV and concluded that their work is done here.

• Phil Simms said he won't say Redskins in NFL telecasts and call them Washington. That's really offensive to the team's players. Washington is associated with a hapless president, a skinny-dipping vice president, a do-nothing Congress and a Speaker addicted to tanning lamps.

• Forbes published a poll showing the Puritan Work Ethic is alive and well in America . The survey showed only twenty-five percent use all their paid vacation time. Seventy-five percent of Americans use just part of their paid vacation time and give the rest to President and Mrs. Obama.

• Ferguson cops said Tuesday looters are coming from New York and Florida to add to the mayhem. They could use some tips from experienced looters in L.A. You know you're doing it wrong when half the stuff you steal can be downloaded off the Internet for pennies on the dollar.

• President Obama sent Attorney General Eric Holder to Ferguson to monitor U.S. efforts to calm the situation. There is no doubt of the president's interest in this case. Just yesterday, President Obama ordered all eighteen flags at the Vineyard Golf Club to be flown at half-staff.

• The U.S. Court of Appeals ruled an Ohio morgue can be held liable for a morgue worker's perverse behavior. He admitted having sex with one hundred corpses over a sixteen-year period. He said the hard part was getting the lid open and digging his way out after each burial.

• The Economist published a report saying North Korea is making counterfeit U.S. money to sell on the black market for hard currency. They only know so much about U.S. culture. North Korea's counterfeit one hundred dollar bill has Franklin's portrait on it but it's Aretha Franklin.

GAY-KK

[Mbatt] The Land of the Free has become the Tyranny of the Depraved:

On August 8, [the New York State Division of Human Rights] fined Cynthia and Robert Gifford $13,000 for acting on their belief that marriage is the union of a man and woman and thus declining to rent out their family farm for a same-sex wedding celebration.

Here's what happened:

In 2012, Melissa Erwin and Jennie McCarthy contacted the Giffords to rent the family's barn for their same-sex wedding ceremony and reception. Cynthia Gifford responded that she and her husband would have to decline their request as they felt they could not in good conscience host a same-sex wedding ceremony at their home.

Decent people would understand and celebrate their parody of a marriage somewhere else. But homosexual militants are not known for their decency. They appear to derive great satisfaction from using the government to force people who are appalled by their perverse lifestyles to participate in them.

The Giffords have owned and operated Liberty Ridge Farm in Schaghticoke, New York for over 25 years. Like many small farm families, they often open the farm to the public for events like berry picking, fall festivals, and pig racing. …

They also open their home for weddings and receptions. When the Giffords host weddings, they are involved in every aspect of the wedding planning and celebration: they greet and drive guests in their farm trolley, decorate the barn, set up floral arrangements, arrange fireworks displays, and provide catering. As the Human Rights Commission ruling even points out, "the only wedding-related service Liberty Ridge Farm does not offer is providing the official for the wedding ceremony."

The bridal suite is right in their own home.

As many brides know, planning a wedding requires hours of careful work to organize in order to pull off the celebration—hours during which family businesses operating venues like the Giffords' actively participate in the weddings they host. The Giffords believe that as free citizens running a business, they should have the right to decline to participate in an event that does not reflect their values.

Unfortunately, New York's Human Right's law (Executive Law, art. 15) creates special privileges based on sexual orientation that trump the rights of business owners.

These unjust privileges also trump the fundamental individual right of freedom of association.

Because the Giffords' family farm is open to the public for business, New York classifies it as a "public accommodation" and then mandates that it not "discriminate" on the basis of sexual orientation.

This means that like any business, they can refuse service for any reason — except to persons of elevated legal status. We are all equal before the law. But under rule by liberals, those who define themselves by the aberrant sexual practices they indulge in are more equal.

[T]he Giffords were not engaging in any insidious discrimination—they were acting on their belief about the nature of marriage. They do not object to gay or lesbian customers attending the fall festivals, or going berry picking, or doing any of the other activities that the farm facilitates. The Giffords' only objection is to being forced to abide by the government's views on sexuality and host a same-sex wedding. The Human Rights Commission has now declared this historic belief about marriage to be "discrimination."

The Giffords must pay a $1,500 mental anguish fine to each of the women and pay $10,000 in civil damages penalty to New York State.

The farce of pretending that the bullies who dragged this innocent family into court are the victims and deserve compensation for "mental anguish" should be too much for even liberals to stomach.

Like Jack Phillips of Masterpiece Cakeshop, the Giffords must also institute anti-discrimination re-education classes and procedures for their staff.

That is, they must pay to have their employees brainwashed to reject their own values — values that have defined civilization for millennia.

The question before all citizens is whether this law and this fine are just. Should the government be able to force family businesses to betray their consciences and participate in ceremonies that violate their beliefs? Should the government be in the business of "rehabilitating" consciences or "re-educating" its citizens to change their moral beliefs about the definition of marriage?

Here I have to disagree. These aren't the questions, because the answers are obvious.

The question is: how are we going to restore freedom and dignity by liberating ourselves from the twisted tyranny we are living under?

.

565 A noted icon of supernaturalism, St. Columba, adds 'tragically delusional' to his lengthy resume when he files one of the earliest reports of Loch Ness monster.

1775 A terminally unamused King George III declares colonies are in open rebellion. Founding Fathers laugh, "Tough darts, Georgie, I can't find my give a damn anywhere."

1910 After selflessly protecting their Korean neighbors from everyone else, Empire of Japan rewards itself by annexing Korea into the empire. Damn tourists.

1920 Exceptionally imaginative writer, Ray "Fahrenheit 451" Bradbury, born.

1921 J. Edgar Hoover gets new frock to celebrate his job as asst. FBI director.

1939 PIG publisher's patron saint, Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski, born.

1945 Ho Chi Minh seizes control of a rustic slice of Southeast Asia called Vietnam.

1965 Business as usual: San Francisco pitcher Juan Marachal beans Dodger catcher John Roseboro. New wrinkle: Marachal used a baseball bat, starts 14 minute brawl.

1994 O.J. jurors snicker when DNA tests link Simpson to a double murder.

2012 Not wired for 'get over it', BBC sez HELL NO to a proposal for a statue to George Orwell, who resigned from the organization, 'because for some time past I have been conscious that I was wasting my time and the public money on doing work that produces no results.'

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those thart merit this odiferous awad. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
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" I am proud to be called
a PIG. PIG stands for
Pride, Integrity, and Guts."
RONALD REAGAN

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PIG CALENDAR

August Is
Remember In November Month

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Why wait? Get your Elected Tormentor's pink slip ready, now..
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• O-CRAP! •

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Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.
>>> Read More >>>

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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A BETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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TEXAS FRED
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FARK
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HOPE 'N' CHANGE CARTOONS
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LOCK AND LOAD
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WOODPILE REPORT
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STRANGE POLITICS
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DRINK THIS
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SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
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MISS RED MUSES
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ANTHONY'S SOAP BOX
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MODERN DRUNKARD
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2014 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2013: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.