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Monday
April 21, 2014

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore & Any Kardashian caboose Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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TOP STORY
A WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
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There's something very wrong here. .

When General Cornwallis surrendered to George Washington at Yorktown, the Brits put an exclamation point on the improbable turn of events with a very special ditty. How do you highlight the fact that the most powerful military force in the world lost to a ragtag rabble? You have the musicians play 'The World Turned Upside Down'. It was, all things considered, a very appropriate musical accompaniment for British defeat in a war they quite bluntly couldn't/shouldn't lose.

The nation which the victorious ragtag rabble created - The United States of America - became a magnificent place which vastly exceeded all expectations. That America, a nation conceived in liberty, began as a land populated by rugged, self-reliant individuals. America started as a nation that spawned resolute men and women who took everything that objective reality could throw at them then came out stronger, and more determined to meet the next challenge with the same grim resolve. America was a nation whose ideals of individual liberty challenged the very best among us to pass muster. America - Americans - became the envy of the world because it was devoted to one singular ideal: inalienable individual liberty. That's the America we venerate, but it's not the America we inhabit in the 21st century. Somewhere along the line that rugged individualism, that exaltation of sovereign individuals exercising their inalienable rights, got perverted. While we weren't paying attention, those classic American values got inverted by the all powerful Nanny State.

The America I confront every morning isn't 'a little off', or 'a tad off kilter'. It's wrong, but it's more than simply wrong. In too damn many particulars, it's dead wrong. It seems like I'm trapped in America's mirror image, but in this case, the image is badly distorted, because it's a Fun House mirror.

'The World Turned Upside Down' should be dusted off and redeployed, because, no matter where I look, I see proof that the world is indeed turned upside down.

When I look around, here's what I find:

* I see that our shining beacon of inalienable individual liberty has turned into a shabby slum populated by parasites, whiners and snitches.

* I see a nation where dependency has replaced the self-reliance of rugged individuals as America's highest virtue.

* I see a Legislature [Congress] that doesn't want to legislate.

* I see journalists, so-called reporters, who don't want to report.

* I see an opposition party that doesn't want to oppose.

* I see a President who doesn't want to lead.

* I see a Defense Department that doesn't want to defend.

* I see schools staffed by educators who don't want to teach.

* I see an Attorney General of the USA - our top law enforcement officer - who refuses to enforce our laws.

* I see self described scientists who are transformed into lab coated hooligans when they refuse to be scientific.

* I see a grandiose plan to provide health insurance for a few million uninsured Americans that is so fatally flawed that 10 times that many insured Americans lose their coverage when it is implemented.

* I see a nation where asking individuals to prove their voter eligibility/identity with a valid, photo, ID before they're allowed to vote is 'intimidation', and/or discrimination. But, requiring a photo ID for the following mundane activities is neither intimidation nor discrimination: buy alcohol, buy cigarettes, open a bank account, apply for food stamps, apply for welfare, apply for Medicaid/Social Security, apply for unemployment or a job, rent/buy a house, apply for a mortgage, drive/buy/rent a car, get on an airplane, get married, purchase a gun, adopt a pet, rent a hotel room, apply for a hunting license, apply for a fishing license, buy a cell phone, visit a casino, pick up a prescription, hold a rally or protest, blood donations, buy an "M" rated video game, purchase nail polish at CVS, purchase certain cold medicines.

* I see a nation where an individual's gender is determined by some twisted, gender bending brain fart that's careening inside their noggin, instead of the plumbing they're packing.

* I see a nation where the National Security Agency makes every individual in the nation feel increasingly insecure, by listening to our phone calls, and reading everything we post in cyberspace.

* I see a nation where crud, not cream, rises to the top. Instead of representing our best and brightest, our chosen leaders are liars, looters, dunces, divas and scallywags.

* I see a nation where We The People are no longer sovereign because we have allowed ourselves to be relegated to mere subjects whose lives and property belong to the all powerful government.

If you need a second opinion on this matter, I've got it covered. Here are some pertinent excerpts from a Washington Times commentary dated July 3, 2013: 'From a Nation of Laws to a Nation of Men' by John Whitehead president of the Rutherford Institute.

We were once a society that valued individual liberty and privacy. Increasingly, however, we have morphed into a culture that has quietly accepted surveillance in virtually every area of our lives — police and drug-sniffing dogs in our children's schools, national databases that track our finances and activities, sneak-and-peek searches of our homes by government agents without our knowledge or consent and anti-terrorism laws that turn average Americans into suspected criminals. All the while, police officers dressed in black Darth Vader-like costumes have become armed militias, instead of the civilian peacekeepers they were intended to be.

<snip>

The varied expressions of the government's growing power — the excessive use of tasers by police on nonthreatening individuals, allowing drones to take to the skies domestically for purposes of surveillance and control of free-speech protesters, the National Security Agency's monitoring of emails and phone calls, and on and on — which get more troubling by the day, are merely the outward manifestations of an inner, philosophical shift underway in how the government views not only the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, but "we the people," as well. Mind you, in the face of the government's growing power, we are all lumped into the same category. We are all watched and, therefore, we're all suspects: potential nuisances and rabble rousers who must be surveilled, silenced and, if necessary, shut down.

Thus, whatever the issue might be, whether it's mass surveillance, no-knock raids, or the right to freely express one's views about the government, we've moved into a new age in which the rights of the citizenry are being treated as a secondary concern by the White House, Congress, the courts and their vast holding of employees, including law enforcement officials.

The disconnect, of course, is that the Constitution establishes a far different scenario in which government officials, including the police, are accountable to "we the people." For it to be otherwise, for government concerns to trump individual freedoms, with government officials routinely sidestepping the Constitution and reinterpreting the law to their own purposes, makes a mockery of everything this nation is supposed to stand for — self-government, justice and the rule of law.

So where does this leave us?

As a nation, we seem to have significantly passed from a nation of laws to a nation of men. Whereas we once abided by a rule of law — the U.S. Constitution — which guarded our freedoms and shielded us from government abuses, we have entered a phase in our nation's life where the government largely operates above the law, while the law has become little more than another tool for compliance and control.

Article II, Section I, Clause VIII specifies that each President begin their term in office by reciting this affirmation (oath): "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

It's challenging, but far from impossible to reconcile that oath with the antics perpetrated by Emperor Barry. I've come up with two possibilities. Perhaps Emperor B has a distinctly 'Italian' opinion of the oath, plus everything else found in Article II of the U.S. Constitution. In this instance, distinctly Italian denotes something a friend told me about driving in bella Italia: Italian drivers view road signs, traffic signals and speed limits as 'suggestions'. Apparently Barry has the same attitude about everything in Article II. To him, they're 'suggestions' passed along by the framers of our Constitution.

The other possibility isn't going to thrill you either. If you examine the Constitutionally mandated oath from Article II, Section I, Clause VIII, you stumble over what appear to be weasel words "to the best of my Ability". Maybe, pathetic as it is, what we've witnessed so far represents 'the best of his Ability'. Yup, as sorry as it is, that's as good as he gets.

While we're yammering about oaths taken by federal officials, we might as well take a peek at the one recited by bureaucrats, legislators, presidential appointees, along with most other federal employees.

"I (name), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God."

I don't see any obvious weasel words, but one phrase does grab my attention: enemies foreign and domestic. Under Obamunism, a foreign 'enemy' includes any nation giving slightly more than lip service to individual liberty. It's long term allies like Israel, J.O.E., Japan, South Korea and Australia. On the home front, 'domestic enemy' is a slam dunk. Domestic enemy number one is that killjoy who is supposed to be running things: We the People. We the People won't be allowed to reassert our control, a fun fact which explains why every federal agency is stockpiling ammo.

If you're a white on the right, you qualify for an enemies (domestic) designation.

If you belong to the TEA Party, you qualify for an enemies (domestic) designation.

If you're a staunch supporter of the Second Amendment, you qualify for an enemies (domestic) designation.

If you donated money to Mexifornia's Prop 8 (marriage = one man + one woman), you qualify for an enemies (domestic) designation. [if you're really lucky, your employees will hound you into resigning as CEO].

If you espouse such regressive notions as defending our borders, you qualify for an enemies (domestic) designation.

If your name is Koch, you and your brother are number one, on the enemies (domestic) hit parade.

I don't have any ready answers for any of this, aside from the Constitutional one promoted by Levin. My only qualm about that is this: it will take some time to get there, and I'm not that sure we have that much time left. There aren't as many sovereign individuals as there were, in times past, but there are more than enough, and we're getting fed up with the way the Nanny State keeps screwing with us.

We don't need some Nanny State assholes telling us what kind of toilet we're allowed to buy.

We don't need some Nanny State assholes telling us what kind of lightbulb we're allowed to buy.

We don't need some Nanny State assholes solving non-existent problems with 'fixes' that royally fuck everything up.

We don't need some Nanny State assholes insulting our intelligence with junk science bullcrap like thirdhand smoke and secondhand television.

We don't need some Nanny State assholes squandering our stolen tax dollars on boondoggles like wind power, Solyndra, and high speed rail lines that nobody wants or needs.

What we want is what we've always wanted. We want you interfering Nanny State bastards to leave us the fuck alone. A properly Constitutional government gets 'er done. We the People are not going to take this shit forever. Sooner or later it's going to get ugly and if/when that moment arrives EVERYBODY loses.


• PIG's Weekly News Digest
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of the week's events.
Updated Every Monday >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

Get Out

• EYE OPENERS:
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Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To:
pig@pigazette.com

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Image Source
Pagan
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WORD OF THE DAY

SUCCESS, n.

A scoring system employed by objective reality to separate the achievers from the merely mortal.

"Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
– George Orwell

Why don't we change the locks on the Red Shed, while Barry is out of town?

YOUR EASTER EPIC

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.

The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."

The blonde says,"Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him. The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny ?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says...

(Are you ready for this?)
(You know you're gonna be sorry)
(Last chance)
(OK, here it is)

It says: "Hair Spray restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

Duffle Blog Strikes Again

Lawmaker Introduces Bill Requiring Veterans To Warn Neighbors Of Their Combat Service

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a second mass shooting at Fort Hood, at least one lawmaker thinks a bill currently under consideration will ensure the safety of American communities by requiring the estimated 2.6 million unstable veterans who served in Iraq or Afghanistan to tell their neighbors of their combat service.

The Fortify & Unite Communities to Keep Veterans' External Threats Secure Act (H.R. 1874) which was introduced on Tuesday, would require military veterans to register with the Department of Homeland Security and periodically "check-in" with a case officer, in addition to going door-to-door in their neighborhood to notify people nearby that they are a powder keg of post traumatic stress, alcoholism, murder, and hate just waiting to blow.

"We really feel that we can drastically minimize the damage to some communities, especially those in troubled 'PTSD hotspots' that have become a haven for these psychopathic troops," said Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.), who sponsored the legislation. "We are so thankful for their service, and now they can continue to serve on veterans probation."

For the safety of communities, the FCC would also direct cable providers to block access to violent war content popular among veterans, to include The Military Channel and Lifetime. Further, a preliminary letter details instructions sent to providers to censor movies such as "Black Hawk Down" and "Saving Private Ryan" so as "not to place a veteran into a potentially violent mental state and protect the community by not 'poking the bear.'"

The bill is up for vote in the House Veterans Affairs Committee next Thursday where watchers say it's likely to pass before going to the floor for a full vote. However, there's been some controversy surrounding one part of the bill barring veterans from living within 1,000 feet of bars, gun ranges, or liquor stores, as critics claim this would be unfair to local businesses.

Lawmakers are still debating a requirement that veterans need approval before moving to a new community they would eventually terrorize. An amendment requiring case officers to place crazed veterans in a locked safe room for the 24 hours of Independence Day and New Years Eve had already passed.

Twofer

MICHIGAN CITY — Police say a man who drove into a building in the morning was hit by a train later that night.

The News-Dispatch reports that 26-year-old Carlos Cooper Jr. of Michigan City was seriously injured by an Amtrak train while walking along the track Thursday night.

Less than 15 hours earlier, Cooper's truck ran into a restaurant. He told police he lost control of the vehicle while avoiding a pothole.

Witnesses later told police Cooper appeared to be talking on a cellphone when he was struck from behind by a train and thrown off the tracks.

Cooper's condition was upgraded on Saturday to serious

Boom!

When was the last time a group of Christians blew up a church while building bombs?

(Khamma Press) – A local Taliban commander was among five militants killed following an explosion inside a mosque in eastern Ghazni province of Afghanistan.

Local government officials said the militants were killed while they were making an improvised explosive device (IED) to carry out a roadside bomb explosion.

Deputy provincial governor Mohammad Ali Ahmadi said the incident took place on Saturday morning in western party of Ghazni city.

Ahmadi further added that the Taliban commander was recognized as Mullah Sadiq who was killed along with four other militants following the explosion.

The Taliban militants frequently use improvised explosive device (IED) to target Afghan and coalition security forces.

Loser Alert

VIENNA (AP) — A German sought by authorities for alleged fraud has been arrested in Austria — after dropping into a police station to ask officers whether he was under investigation.

Police in Salzburg said the 59-year-old man walked into a police station in the city on Friday night. Spokesman Anton Schentz told the Austria Press Agency on Saturday the man told officers he just wanted to check that they had "nothing on him."

Officers checked their records and found a recent arrest warrant from a Vienna court on four counts of fraud and embezzlement. Police say the man, whose name wasn't released, was taken to a Salzburg prison.

1509 Henry VIII, a man who turned marriage into a thrill ride, takes the English throne, tells his royal executioner to put on a second shift.

1836 Sam Houston and some terminally pissed Texans decide to 'thank' Santa Ana for the Alamo slaughter, at the Battle of San Jacinto.

1898 Bored to tears, and having nothing better to do, a terminally cranky Uncle Sam decides to pick a fight with Spain, calls it the Spanish-American War.

1910 The literary world & avid readers mourn the loss of a great American writer and Hambo mega favorite when Samuel "Mark Twain" Clemens dies at age 74.

1914 U.S. Marines find Vera Cruz, Mexico terminally spiffy, decide to hunker down for another 6 months.

1986 That legend in his own mind, Geraldo Rivera, beats daunting odds by taking his career to new depths of despair with his Al Capone's Vault antics.

1997 An unlikely pair, Timothy Leary and Gene Roddenberry, both visionaries in their own way, put a whole new meaning on 'high flyer' when their ashes are launched into orbit..

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
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INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those thart merit this odiferous awad. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
Read More >>>


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" I am proud to be called
a PIG. PIG stands for
Pride, Integrity, and Guts."
RONALD REAGAN

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PIG CALENDAR

April Is
School a fool Month

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Take a Low Information Voter To The Woodshed & Enlighten Him..
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• O-CRAP! •

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Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.
>>> Read More >>>

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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A BETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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WWW.ARIZONABITEME.COM
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TEXAS FRED
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FARK
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HOPE 'N' CHANGE CARTOONS
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LOCK AND LOAD
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WOODPILE REPORT
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STRANGE POLITICS
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DRINK THIS
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SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
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MISS RED MUSES
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ANTHONY'S SOAP BOX
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MODERN DRUNKARD
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



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Copyright © 1993-2013: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.