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Monday
September 25, 2017

FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race
• CUPCAKE NATION •
Too many Cupcakes, Basement Boys and preciuos Snowflakes invading your Safe Space? You're in the very most, PIGish Safe Space.

>>> Cupcakes >>>

• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
ODE TO
BLACK LIES MATTER

There once was a thug named Brown,
Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown,
Six bullets later,
He met his creator,
Then his homies burnt down the town

GRAMMY TIME!
Why Have Granola When You Can Have Some Grammy Tune In.
>>Grammy Time >>
ART TIME!
EnjoyThe Art Of Danish Artist, Cirkeline Nilsson.
>> Cirkline >>
DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
>>> Go Here >>>

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Their Very Own, Self-Imposed Safe Space?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
Cry Bullies
Q. Tarantino
#BLM
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore
Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY

PIGISH ANSWERS
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" Hambo tries to light a fire under your incorrectness with tips on exercising your PIGishness. "
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PIG is more than a pit-stop on a cyberspace byway. It's more than We the PIGs. It's more than the pictures and prose that we've deployed over the years. PIG (including being a PIGster) is an ATTITUDE. It's an attitude that's always on-line, running the sights, sounds and experiences of your life through the a special PIGish filter in your brain. You can't turn it off. You can't ignore the PIGish notions which pop into your head. You CAN, however, decide what to do with those notions. It's that last point which spawned this pagan scribbling.

When I unleash my PIGishness on the richly deserving, I call it 'Spreading My Special Brand of Joy'. For me, the rules of engagement are minimal, and straightforward.

• Since a Hambo in Hambo's clothing would greatly reduce my opportunities, I put on my Clark Kent facade, when I venture out of the PIG Bunker.

• When a 'Hambo' opportunity arises, I do a quick analysis. If it won't jeopardize my livelihood, and isn't going to turn me into a crime statistic, it's 'all systems go'.

• Friends and family are 'fair game', but don't get bummed if the relationship inhibits your PIGish outburst.

• When the 'recipient' of your Special Brand of Joy is a stranger, it has 'Top Ten PIGish Moments' potential.

Here are some real deal magic Hambo moments:

• It happened while I was toiling at a customer site and one of the customer's employees lobbed a rhetorical floater in my direction. It was too good to pass up, so I went into emergency enlightenment mode and pummeled the floater out of the park.

It began, simply enough, while she was planning her trip to the county fair. Exploring the many attractions which were touted on the fair's Internet site, she went non-clinically bonkers over - you'll have to imagine her high pitched squeals - pig races. She gushed. She tittered. She cooed. She sighed. She gushed again.

Eventually, she noticed my singular lack of enthusiasm over pig races.

Her: "It's PIG RACES!"

Me: "I left my thrilled spitless over PIG RACES in my other pants."

Her: "But the little piggies are so CUTE!"

Me: "I left my 'they're so CUTE' in my other pants, too."

Her: "I'll bet you've never seen a PIG race."

Me: "Wrong!"

Her: "I don't believe you."

Me: "The last PIG race I saw happened when a herd of 'size positive' sows stampeded at the all you can eat buffet."

Suitably enlightened, she walked away.

• I was doing some Hambo things in front of the bunker, when I spotted my next door neighbor. She looked me over and asked me if I'd lost some weight.

Without claiming to be a lean, mean, word-wrangling, machine, I responded with the Hambo equivalent of 'yup'.

She asked me for my secret.

Since the truth - chasing Hooters hotties - didn't seem suitable to the occasion, I gave her the usual shuck and jive about 'no seconds', 'no late evening/nighttime snacks'.

Satisfied with my response, she opined that her hubby needed to shed a ton or two. Warming to the subject, she complained that, having an office in his home was turning him into a lump. Full of wifely disapproval, she threatened to impose mandatory evening walks, if he didn't get with the program.

I told her it was a workable plan, but not the ideal cure for what ailed him. I then explained that she needed to invest in a cattle prod with three settings: "First Warning", "You've been sitting there all day", "You haven't moved from that spot in a week". Alarmed by her 'make my day, lard butt' smirk, I warned her that she would need to build up to the 'haven't moved in a week' setting, since it might have an adverse effect on his ticker.

She thanked me for my suggestion, sounding like she would give it serious consideration.

I assured her that - like a gun - just having the cattle prod, brandishing it as needed, would send the message and might save her from having to zap him.

She nodded, turned to leave, then, bowing to my vast wisdom, asked if I had any suggestions for wrangling her rambunctious grandchildren.

Without missing I beat, I told her, "Stun gun."

She was still basking in my compelling pagan wisdom, when I returned to the bunker.

I'll warm up your PIGishness with these gems. Relax there are no wrong answers.

• You're out in public and you get caught ogling a wench's bra-busting cleavage. How do you handle that awkward moment?

A. "Chill, darlin', I'm still recovering from that terminally 'jiggly', Baywatch marathon on the Neanderthal Channel."

B. "Do you know someplace where I can buy those in a 36C? My brother-in-law is turning into a real Girlieman."

C. "That reminds me, I need to get some milk at the store on my way home."

D. "I must say you're an udderly delightful wench."

• You're out in public when your main squeeze goes bonkers over a buffed stud whose impressive bulge is impossible to ignore. How do you handle it?

A. "That reminds me, dear, I need to stop by the store and buy some sweatsocks."

B. "His sweetie, Bubba, won't like you ogling his man like that."

C. "Your drooling and heavy breathing is scaring the tykes."

D. "Fred's Clydesdale is standing stud. Do you want me to book you some quality time with the brute?"

• A friend, neighbor or relative starts talking about her adult son who still lives at home. How do you handle it?

A. "How the hell is basement boy doing these days?"

B. "I haven't seen that homo since that night he swished down Main Street dressed only in your garter belt."

C. "He makes a vivid impression. He's gotta be the only person in human history who incurred Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from a paper cut. And 'they' said he'd never amount to anything."

D. "Now that he's reached, and surmounted, the ripe old age of 30, don't you think it's time to stop breastfeeding him?"

• Some clueless alleged adult - this one works best with a member of your immediate family such as sibling, your married offspring, or your own wife - foolishly, lets you ride herd on some young (rugrats are preferred) tyke(s).

Choice 1: You pass up a chance to deploy time-released word mines.

Choice 2: You work on eager Little Johnny or Moonbeam, teaching them to respond to certain trigger words with PIGish responses. You'll find our PIG Advice page ideal for this one. For example words related to auto repair would have your talented student say "Never trust your car to an auto mechanic whose favorite tool is a hammer." The trigger phrase 'trying out a new recipe' sets off this word mine: "INCOMING!!!!" When a far from amused parent admonishes your student for their PIGish wisdom, train your scholar to respond: "Words only have as much power as the listener bestows on them."

[I predict that you'll learn to love planting word mines, because they're the gift that keeps on giving.]

• If you have a libertard Moonbat family member - a cousin, aunt or uncle is ideal - preferably one who isn't up to speed on your PIGster proclivities, you have a shot at properly PIGish fun.

Choice 1: You play it straight, pass up your 'opportunities', then kick yourself, repeatedly, afterwards, for passing up several chances.

Choice 2: Deploy some PIGisms - you'll know which ones will work best for that individual - then wait for him, her, himher, or it to react, which they probably will. I did it with a feminazi Egghead cousin, and it worked like a charm. She got pissy about 'wench', saying: "I don't appreciate that kind of language." I hit her between the eyes with this gem from the PIG Doctrine: The exaggerated sensitivities of others are not my responsibility, nor do their hurt feelings empower them to abolish my right to free speech. She stared, mouthed a few words, then beat a hasty retreat. Later, while chatting with my mother she said, "Your son and I had a very interesting conversation."

Here are some chats laced with Pigishness.

• Kid: "What's a safe space, dad?"

Dad: "Something I'm going to need when you mother sees the mess I made in the kitchen."

Kid: "Did you call a plumber?"

Dad: "Yes, but mom gets here first."

Kid: "Uh oh."

Dad: "I think it's time to teach you a new term: protective custody."

• Your teenage son frowns at the prominent bulge in his pants. "Why does it do that?"

Dad: "God has a twisted sense of humor."

"It's embarrassing. It makes girls laugh."

Dad: "There will come a time in your life when you'll call these the good old days."

"I don't understand."

Dad: "Good. Go take care of it."

• Kid : Watching me pay a princely sum for a pack of smokes, " You don't smoke. Why do you buy them?"

Dad: "I do it for the children."

Kid: "The children? How?"

Dad: "Every cigarette tax increase swears it's for the children?"

Kid: "Is it for the kids?"

Dad: "No."

Dad: "The Nanny State says it's my patriotic duty to buy cigarettes but not smoke them."

Kid: "That's dumb."

Dad: "I agree. I carry them to drive moonbat libs like your Uncle Jack crazy."

Kid: " Now I get it."

• Your wenchlet daughter throws you this curve ball, "Daddy, why is that strange boy, Tommy Wilson, allowed to use the girl's bathroom? Teacher called it something silly...trans something."

"Transgenderism?"

"That's it, what does it mean daddy?"

By all means, field that one daddy, but remember that inconvenient truth. Whatever you tell her will be repeated at school, so something real like "Tommy has always been a twisted little twerp" or "Like his daddy, Tommy likes to pretend he's a girl" will thrill the cess-school spitless. Welcome to the wonderful world of 'my daddy said', dude.

• A Middle School age daughter sets her laptop on the kitchen table where mom is having her morning coffee. "Can you help me set up my Facebook page? I'm having trouble picking a gender."

Mom smiles that 'you silly girl' smile. "You're a girl sweetheart. The correct choice is female."

"That's not on the list mom."

"It has to be. There are only two."

"They have 56 and female isn't one of them."

After studying the choices, mom looks stunned. "What did your father say?"

Giggling, baby girl rolls her eyes. "You won't let me say stuff like that. Let's just say it was...colorful."

"Leave it blank. With a name like Jennifer Elaine, we'll let your 'friends' do the math."

"Maybe I'll change it every day. I'll start at the top and work my way down the list. Or I could just pick one at random, every day. Thanks mom."

• Your son looks at his Little League trophy then drops it in the trash can, asking, "Why does everyone get a trophy? Even Ruben got one and he can't even walk to first base without falling down.

Your move parenting Sparky.

"Little League is stupid. They won't let us keep score and nobody ever wins. What's the point?"

He already gets it, so getting real with "Little League is run by a bunch of lefties who have their heads up their ass." is PIGish and too true.

Don't even get me started on adventures in Zero Tolerance, where finger guns, sharing mom's homemade cookies with classmates, and chewing your Pop Tart into the shape of a gun get your tyke suspended. If you can make your young 'un understand that, I'm very impressed.

That's enough PIGish fun for now. Ideally, I goaded some of you into road testing your PIGishness. Spread the joy. Why? It's fun.

If, despite my best efforts, you're still hanging back, so be it. I'll still deploy my MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner, if I made you laugh.

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• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY
Bummed
• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To: pig@pigazette.com

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Image Source
MLB
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WORD OF THE DAY

INGRATE, n.
A professional athlete earning million$, who willfully disrespects the nation whose hard won freedom made it possible for this whining piece of crap to become filthy rich.

From sea to shining sea, our professional athletes are giving this nation conceived in liberty the finger. That's their right, of course. Ironically, they're insulting us in stadiums we paid for. We need to do something about that.
Hambo

drhurd.com
It's Not About the Anthem

The question is not whether the government of a free country may force its citizens to salute the flag or sing the national anthem. That's not what President Trump and the San Francisco 49ers are fighting about. The fight is over whether the American flag and anthem — which at least stand for liberty and individual rights — are worth fighting for, and honoring, in the first place.

Here are the facts:

President Trump referred to NFL players who protest the anthem as as "SOB's." He also said that it would be a winning public relations move if an NFL owner were to "fire" a player for such a protest.

I couldn't agree more.

President Trump has not proposed that government forces enter the football stadium and force football players to salute the flag or sing the anthem. Football stadiums are private property. They have the right not to be forced by the government to sing the anthem. Their employers also have the right to fire them for not following NFL protocol, since the NFL is a privately owned entity. Some, President Trump included — along with many others of us — think players like Colin Kaepernick should be condemned and fired by their employers, for this reason.

The American flag and the national anthem do not stand for allegiance to the collective, the state, or to any presiding ruler, elected or otherwise. The flag and anthem stand for — or at least should stand for — individual rights. If you're rational, enlightened and therefore cherish your individual rights above all else, you should honestly and sincerely want to show respect (if not reverence) for what the flag and anthem represent. Whatever the sins and contradictions of a distant past (e.g., slavery), the American flag and anthem do not stand for slavery. They never did. That's why America was the first country in human history to fight a civil war for the eradication of slavery. If it's truly slavery and racism you oppose, you ought to love and salute what that flag represents more than anyone else.

Colin Kaepernick and others are not rejecting the national anthem for reasons related to individual rights or liberty, including the economic liberty that gives their bosses as much a right to fire them as to retain and defend them. Kaepernick stands for racial supremacy groups like Black Lives Matter, and socialistic programs (Obamacare, welfare, endless pork in D.C.) pushed by the leftists they support with the use of coercion. He shows disrespect for America not because it has too little liberty and individual rights, but because it has too much. He wants more and more government, like virtually all leftists and Democrats. He loves police and armies — so long as they're enforcing the will of Obama or some similar leftist figure, rather than someone else. What that flag represents gets in the way. And like his fellow leftists who swoon and fawn over Kaepernick, he labels any and all dissenting opinion racist.

Is it a stretch to think that sooner or later we might get an American President who reflects the attitude of many of us — maybe even most of us — that we're sickened and fed up with it all?

Here's what San Francisco 49ers CEO Jed York said in reply to President Trump's entirely justified rant:

The callous and offensive comments made by the President are contradictory to what this great country stands for. Our players have exercised their rights as United States citizens in order to spark conversation and action to address social injustice. We will continue to support them in their peaceful pursuit of positive change in our country and around the world. The San Francisco 49ers will continue to work toward bringing communities, and those who serve them, closer together.

The P.C. dribble uttered by this man ignores the same thing that Kaepernick and his ilk ignore. America was never about bringing "communities together". That's what Nazi, Communist, Muslim and other totalitarian states seek to do. America was founded to protect the right and sovereignty of individuals, not communities. When people are left free, it so happens that communities function a whole lot better, it's true. But "community love" has nothing whatsoever to do with what the American flag and anthem symbolize.

And that's exactly why they hate them.

~

theblaze.com
A rookie becomes first to 'take a knee' during an MLB national anthem – TheBlaze

Bruce Maxwell, a rookie catcher, became the first athlete to protest during the national anthem in a Major League Baseball game Saturday.
Who is Bruce Maxwell?

Maxwell is the son of a U.S. military veteran, and was born on a military base. He plays for the Oakland Athletics.
Why did he do it?

Maxwell spoke to the San Francisco Chronicle to explain his actions.

"The point of my kneeling was not to disrespect our military or our constitution or our country," Maxwell said. "My hand was over my heart because I love this country and I have family members, including my father, who bled for this country, and who continue to serve. At the end of the day, this is the best country on the planet. I am and forever will be an American citizen and grateful to be here, but my kneeling is what's getting the attention, and I'm kneeling for the people who don't have a voice.

"This goes beyond the black and Hispanic communities because right now we have a racial divide that's being practiced from the highest power we have in this country saying it's basically OK to treat people differently. I'm kneeling for a cause but I'm in no way disrespecting my country or my flag."
What did the Athletics team do about this?

The Athletics official Twitter account posted a message of support for Maxwell after his actions.

"The Oakland A's pride ourselves on being inclusive," read the statement. "We respect and support all our players' constitutional rights and freedom of expression."
What was the reaction like?

Some, like black activist Shaun King, applauded the move.

But others, not surprisingly, felt it was unnecessary and insulting.

Is that all Maxwell did?

No. Earlier in the day, he took to his Instagram account and explicitly denounced President Donald Trump for his comments about the protests Friday.

"Yeah f**k this guy!" he wrote. "Our president speaks of inequality of man because players are protesting the anthem! F**k this man! Seriously on the highest platform for our country expressing that it is OK for there to be Division [sic] of man and rights!"

~
Taking A Knee
[From Hambo's Hammer]

In an English stadium, early this [Sunday] morning, two groups of American multi-millionaires - The Baltimore Ravens, The Jacksonville Jaguars - showed the proper respect to England during the playing of their national anthem, but sent a resounding FUCK YOU AMERICA to the USA during the playing of ours.

Apologists will insist they are simply making a statement, one protected by their freedom of speech. I agree that 'taking a knee' is a form of expression, even when it aims a raised - virtual - middle finger to the nation that made them rich.

What, if anything, should we do about it, those of us who honor, and respect this nation which spawned this group of ingrates?

When your games are on television, I'm 'taking a knee' by not watching.

When you play your home games in my vicinity, I'm 'taking a knee' by not attending.

When you ask me to buy your team's merchandise, I'm 'taking a knee' when I don't make that purchase.

When your team owner comes hat in hand asking for my tax dollar for his new stadium, I'm 'taking a knee' by saying not 'no' but HELL FUCKING NO.

You won't be multi-millionaire ingrates for long if We The People 'take a knee' on the entire NFL.

 

 

* * * * * * * *

1965 Legendary baseball pitcher Satchel Paige, shows the kids how it's done, when, at age 60, he takes the mound for the Kansas City A's and hurls 3 scoreless innings.

1989 After 313 yrs, Vatican admits it erred in jailing Galileo for saying Earth revolves around Sun. Holy rushing to judgement, Batman!

2014 U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, the most corrupt AG in American history announces his resignation after six years of service under the worst POTUS in U.S. history, Barack Obama.

GET YOUR SCOOP OF PIGISH POOP
If your Boob-Tube, News Nit-Wits or Social Media Meatheads aren't providing you with enough Caitlyn, Justin, Miley, The Donald, High Profile Race Hustlers
or anyone else that stops the presses and your world, well, OMG! and WTF! You're in the right place. Kulture Watch takes precision aim at anyone caught in our crosshairs and headlights and will give you, "The rest of the story."
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IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
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INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>



Google


PIG CALENDAR
September Is
BZZZT Month

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Introduce a Snowflake to reality; plug the fool into the power grid.
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A B
ETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
ALICE'S RESTAURANT
PIGsters! You don't have to wait until Schools Out to head into Alice Cooper'stown in Phoenix, AZ, an eatery founded by Alice Cooper and Randy Johnson. A place where Jocks and Rock meet. Try their specialty, The Big Unit.
>>> Menu >>>
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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WWW.ARIZONABITEME.COM
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DR HURD
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NATIONAL REVIEW
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FARK
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HOPE 'N' CHANGE CARTOONS
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LOCK AND LOAD
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WOODPILE REPORT
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STRANGE POLITICS
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HONOR 1778
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SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
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STILTONS PLACE
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



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