You might call this Top Story a PIGish trigger warning for objective reality, because the real world can be a pisser, especially if your upbringing and schooling hasn't properly prepared you for it. Our primary focus is the Ivory Tower grad, but it's also applicable to a high school grad who isn't interested in paying through the nose for four more years of brainwashing
For starters, PIG extends hearty congratulations to the High School and College inmates in the graduating Class of 2017! Now that you have your diploma or degree, you're going to need to forget all the social engineering crap you were force fed by Educrat Eggheads for 12 plus years. The mere fact that you're here means one or more of the following is true:
1) Despite the Educrats' best efforts to indoctrinate you with cultural Marxism, multiculturalism, level playing fields, sensitivity training, and diversity, your synapses are still working.
2) You work for the NSA
3) You clicked something during a dizzy spell and when the room stopped spinning, you were here.
4) Your obsession with weird sex convinced you that 'PIG' is a porn site featuring plumpers.
Whatever the case, PIG is here with our Post Graduation Survival Guide. Who knows, we might help you locate that elusive rascal, your inner rugged individual.
We don't promise to tell you what comes next, nor do we plan to save you from yourself, basement boy. What you do is your call. Our primary purpose is to alert you about some of life's speed bumps. Think of us as your very own 'this is Realville' Welcome Wagon.
We're not here to lecture you, no matter what your choice...Choice? That's right, Choice. For the first time, YOU call YOUR own shots, a vital first step in regaining your individuality and securing your independence.
Since the very first day of Pre-School, to the moment you grabbed your High School diploma and told principal dude where to shove it, you have become, in some ways, the product of State Sponsored Follow The Herd Indoctrination. Choice was not an option. Questioning authority was not an option. A difference of opinion was not an option. Hell, dodgeball was not an option...you don't want to get us started on THAT.
Aside from all the Feel-Good Gobbledygook, and maybe some reading, writing and arithmetic, sprinkled in every once in a while, you ask yourself, "What the Hell did I learn?" You better come up with a suitable answer because you're about the do a header into an intransigent brute called "objective reality".
Objective reality is a nasty bit of business that takes no prisoners, but we're not the heartless bastards you think we are. 'Since you're not ready for warts and all reality, we'll jump start your brain with Remedial Enlightenment Here are some essential 'guess what' items to prepare you for your header into that pernicious pest, objective reality and it's partner in crime "real life":
1: Life is not fair; get used to it. Life rarely serves up an equality of results. It does, on the other hand, deploy the same opportunities to all comers.
2: Unlike the Little League in that blue state where you grew up, Life keeps score then picks winners and losers, accordingly.
3: Remember how your rights suffocating campus had designate free speech zones which you needed permission to use.? The real world doesn't work that way. By and large, unless a property owner says otherwise, the good old USA is one big ass free speech zone which you don't need permission to use.
4 The first thing the real world does is rip off your training wheels [trigger warnings, speech codes etc]. You're going to see things you don't want to see, hear things you don't want to hear and encounter concepts you don't want to think about. That's why liberty is such a thrill ride.
5: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
6: Remember when your NO-NAD BFF talked you into switching your major from Sociology to Gender Studies? No harm, no foul, since, in the real world, both have you headed for the same place: a 'do you want fries with that' career path.
7: Get ready for some REAL diversity, a diversity of IDEAS. Those 'undesirables' whom the thought police hounded off campus are much more plentiful than you think. There are a LOT of them and they're everywhere you go. You can't make them shut up, or go away.
8: Unless your family owns the company, you won't snag that six-figure salary. a vice president job and a company paid BMW right out of school. In this Obamanized economy, you'll be damn lucky to pull down minimum wage at a fast food joint.
9: If you think your teachers are tough, wait till you get a boss. S/he doesn't have tenure.
10: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.
11: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.
12: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
13: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
14: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
15: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
16: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
17: In school you had that friend, classmate, or roommate who always had his hand out for a loan. He's gone, but he's been replaced by an Uncle named Sam, a dude who shoves his hand much deeper into your pocket. Unlike your school moocher, Uncle Sam demands his 'cut' up front, letting you have what's left.
18: The Obamanized real world is going to piss you off. For example, the Elected Tormentors who do their best to make you miserable are, in fact, your chronically-needy pal from school who went pro in the Moocher Big Leagues.
19: Like it or not, it's still your life, so you might as well own it. Dare to celebrate your successes and have the spine to take responsibility for your mistakes.
20: Speech-silencing kill shots which work at school - 'check your privilege', for example - won't get 'er done in Realville. If you get snarky about it, you'll get up close and personal with an American classic, the knuckle sandwich.
With those basics out of the way, the time is right to "Rise and shine, maggots, you're in the real world now, and class will be in session until the day you die."
Welcome to objective reality, graduate Sparky. If your head isn't spinning, we're doing something wrong.
* It's time for you to pay your own way.
* It's time for you to make your own choices, then accept responsibility for the consequences.
* It's time for you to accept the hard lessons that can only be learned from failure.
* Learn the virtues of self sufficiency: No more free rides. No more Mommy and Daddy paying through the nose for your needless cell phone and text messaging, astronomical auto insurance bills, your room, board and cable and up-to-the-minute, trendy wardrobe. No more summer vacations, unless you pay for it. It's your turn now.
What are you going to do? Let's look at some typical choices.
Choice One: College/Grad School (To make mom happy and avoid that real life nastiness) For the standard issue high school graduate, going to college is the preferred way to delay that fateful day when you run afoul of objective reality. Lacking any genuine motivation to amass the requisite knowledge to carry them through life, the 'just delaying the inevitable' college student will find majors like Psychology, Sociology, Educrap, News Nitwit or Ethnocrat Studies very appealing. It's the fast track to an artificially inflated GPA and the fast lane to keeping that umbilical firmly attached to Daddy's wallet.
Post-Graduation Prospects: Here's a hint: "Do you want that gift-wrapped, sir?" "Do you want fries with that?" "Mom, can you have dad add a high speed internet link to the basement for my computer."
Then there's the Bluto-Class College Student. The dude that's been a fixture on campus longer than the pigeon shit on the noble statues that adorn the quad. He majors in keg parties and morale boosting. He's the happy-go-lucky type that you can't help but like, but before he wears out his welcome, he'll drop out after 6 or 7 years and start a multi-million dollar website and retire at 35, Ferrari and all.
Choice Two: Military Do you want to be told when to wake up, what to wear when/where/what to eat & drink, plus when and where to go to sleep? Want to see the world's armpits, kill terrorist scum and play with things that go boom? The military is adept at filling your days and nights with lots of fun stuff. You won't always enjoy it, but your C.O. will enjoy it for you.
Not only will they cure you of your boredom and laziness, they'll teach you stuff you'll take with you the rest of your life. Discipline, teamwork, achieving goals, self respect, and an appreciation for Mom's home cooking.
In Obamanized America, the military option isn't as spiffy as it was. It has been bastardized by political hacks who hate the military almost as much as they hate America. Thanks to them it's no place for a rational adult. If you loved your Korrectness-riddled life in school, you'll adore the new, egregiously degraded military. Otherwise, this isn't your best move.
I'm hopeful that Defense Secretary Mattis can turn this around.
Choice Three: Employment America's backbone. When you nail that first job, and get that first paycheck, some amazing transformations take place. The upside is that you, through your own initiative, have contributed to your boss, and his concern, plus, your independence. Talk about "self-esteem." Yay!!!
Thanks to that fool Obama, our labor participation rate is in the crapper. The only sector that's hiring is the Nanny State. The Good: Job for life. The Bad: BORING. The Ugly: Your co-workers are Marxist Moonbats.
If/when you land a job, you learn 'the rest of the story'. Upon further inspection, you realize that Uncle Sam is taking a major league bite out of your ass and earnings in withholding taxes. It's wake up time, huh? Imagine, your hard work going to subsidize illegals, welfare cases, both corporate and personal, school systems that are circling the drain, Social Security, which you may never collect, and Obamacare, to name a few. By the time you pay your bills, you're lucky if you can afford to have a social life.
Choice Four: In Obamanized America, a depressing number of Americans are casting admiring glances at the new choice on the block: ward of the Nanny State. It's simple enough, in theory, to just let Uncle Sam do the heavy lifting on paying for stuff. The dark underbelly on this one is very dark. Since Uncle Sam doesn't make anything, it can only get money in one of two ways. He can print it, cheapening the purchasing power of money already in circulation. Or, he can steal it from the individuals who earned it and give it to the leeches who didn't earn it. Eventually, the Nanny State depletes the supply of other people's money.
It's too soon to determine how POTUS Trump will impact these options.
Once Again, Congratulations and Good Luck in Mommy's Basement!.