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Wednesday
July 26, 2017

FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race
• CUPCAKE NATION •
Too many Cupcakes, Basement Boys and preciuos Snowflakes invading your Safe Space? You're in the very most, PIGish Safe Space.

>>> Cupcakes >>>

• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
ODE TO
BLACK LIES MATTER

There once was a thug named Brown,
Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown,
Six bullets later,
He met his creator,
Then his homies burnt down the town

GRAMMY TIME!
Why Have Granola When You Can Have Some Grammy Tune In.
>>Grammy Time >>
ART TIME!
EnjoyThe Art Of Danish Artist, Cirkeline Nilsson.
>> Cirkline >>
DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
>>> Go Here >>>

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Their Very Own, Self-Imposed Safe Space?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
Cry Bullies
Q. Tarantino
#BLM
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore
Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY

CALENDAR CHAOS
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"Nobody Told Me There Would Be Days Like These, Strange Days Indeed. Most Peculiar Momma"
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I'll cut to the chase, for a change. The calendar is much too crowded with observances, awareness and appreciation months, weeks and/or days. I'm not even discussing the big ones, yet. I'm talking about the mundane stuff that flies underneath the radar.

Mundane stuff? Exactly. If you do a Bing search for July 2017 observances, then cybersurf to the brownielocks site, you'll find out how cluttered our calendar really is. Here's a modest sample:

July 2017 Weekly Holidays

Beans and Bacon Days: 1-5? (Around first Wed. in July)
National Unassisted Homebirth Week: 1-7
Be Nice To New Jersey Week: 2-8 (First Full Week)
Freedom Week: 4-10
Creative Maladjustment Week: 7-14
National Tom Sawyer Days: 7-9? (aka Fence Painting Days)
National Farriers Week: 9-15 (First Full Week)
Sports Cliché Week: 9-15
Nude Recreation Weekend: 10-16 (First Week)
National Ventriloquism Week: 12-15
Rabbit Week: 15-21
(Re: Magician Rabbits The sponsor is Melvin Rabbit up in Canada. No website. )
Captive Nations Week: 16-22 (3rd Week)
Everybody Deserves A Massage Week: 16-22 (3rd Full Week)
National Parenting Gifted Children Week: 16-22 (Third Full Week)
National Zoo Keeper Week: 16-22 (3rd Week)
National Independent Retailers Week:16-22 (3rd Week)
Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) Education & Awareness Week: 18-25
(Note: Different sponsor than the September 23 observance has.)
National Baby Food Week: 19-22
Comic Con International: 20-23
Hemingway Look-alike Days: 20-23 (Nearest his Birthday of 7/21)
National Moth Week: 22-30 (Last Full Wk)
National Scrabble Week: 22-26
RAGBRAI: 23-29
World Lumberjack Championships: 27-29 (Last Weekend)
Comi Great Texas Mosquitos Days: 27-29 (Last Thurs.Fri.Sat.)
Garlic Days: 28-30 Link (Last Weekend)
Lollapalooza: 28-30
Single Working Women's Week: 30-8/5
(Always has 8/4 in it which is Single Working Women's Day. So, it sometimes is in August.)

Need more? No sweat. Here, for your edification, are some PIG-worthy Daily Observances for July 2017:

July 1st is a busy one at your local post office where it's: National Postal Workers Day, U.S. Postage Stamp Day, and Zip Code Day. A better name for this would be 'bring your gun to work day.'

July 2nd is I Forgot Day, AKA 'bring your gun to work day' - for absent minded postal workers

July 5th is a keeper: Bikini Day.

July 6th is a mixed blessing: International Kissing Day or World Kiss Day, plus Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day. I'm NOT KISSING THAT COMPUTER GEEK!

July has numerous food-related observances: Fried Chicken Day [6th], National French Fries Day [13th], National Hot Dog Day [19th], National Chili Dog Day [27th], Lasagna Day [29th], Cheesecake Day [30th], plus National Chicken and Waffles Day [30th]. By far our favorite is:

July 11th Chick-fil-A's Cow Appreciation Day (2nd Tuesday) Dress Like a cow and get free sandwich!

July 14th is International Nude Day an occasion replete with 'the good, the bad and the UG-LY'.

July 17th is National Get Out of the Doghouse Day (Third Monday).

July 23rd - Hot Enough For Ya Day - is, at best, fraught with peril. Observe at your own risk.

July 27th is the captivating Barbie-in-a-blender Day.

There's a lot more foolishness in July's daily calendar speed bumps. We'll let you look that up for yourself.

It's time to leave the mundane behind, by moving up the calendar clutter food chain to the mainstream observances.

We have a day dedicated to an Irish saint name Patrick whose claim to fame involves evicting snakes from Ireland. What's wrong with this picture? What indeed. For starters, his original name wasn't "Patrick". His birth moniker was "Maewyn", but he changed it to Patrick after he shed his pagan ways and set off on the highway to heaven. If you're thinking Maewyn doesn't sound Irish, give yourself a cookie, because Ireland's favorite Saint was born in Wales. Last, but not least, the story that he chased the snakes from Ireland is Irish hyperbole, because, there weren't any snakes to evict. Do we celebrate this one by drinking, to make us forget all these inconvenient truths?

We have a day dedicated to a winged runt who terrorizes unsuspecting individuals with his bow and arrows. We think Cupid needs to be ordered to take a long overdue timeout. The only 'up side' to this February blight is the fact that some womyn kick Cupid to the curb and devote the day to venerating their nads. I have nothing against these V-Day (Vagina Day) Harpies, aside from the fact that those most likely to celebrate their nads are the ones least likely to share that joy with you, horny as a ten-peckered owl, Sparky.

We have a day dedicated to a directionally challenged Italian - Christopher Columbus - a day that allows the Italians - and Italian wanna bes - to be as annoying as the Irish, and Irish wanna bes, are on St. Patrick's Day. If there's a legitimate source of Italian pride, it's not a man who didn't know where he was going, didn't know where he landed, and never accepted the fact that he'd visited 'the New World' instead of the Far East. If Italians want to celebrate someone who gives us the warmies for Italians, it should be someone like Sophia Loren or Giada De Laurentiis.

America lumps together the good, the bad and the ugly with a generic, one-size-fits-all "Presidents Day" that opines 'all Oval Office denizens are created equal'. What a steaming load. Jimmy the Meek, a man who was terrified by a swimming rodent, is one POTUS I'd like to forget. America needs to get real, by honoring the best presidents on their birthday and dumping the losers like a bad habit.

In Colonized parts of America, a faux Mexican holiday - Cinco de Mayo - stains the May calendar. It's a day venerated by swilling insect-packing adult beverages and doing your best to get Montezuma's revenge by downing impressive quantities of suitably ethnic eats. Why do we celebrate it? I haven't got a clue and neither do the folks who live in Mexico where there's no such thing as a Cinco de Mayo holiday.

One of the most politically correct days on the calendar is "Administrative Professionals Day". Back in the day, before "secretary" was deemed 'demeaning' by the NO-NADs, it was Secretaries Day, which occurred sometime during - TA DA - Secretaries Week. Everything was spiffy, until womyn got their panties in a wad over it and rammed through this change which did not thrill the socks off those office professionals who took great pride in being a 'secretary'.

Even Mother Earth has her own day, Earth Day, but we hear rumblings that it will be completely transformed to venerate Earth's foremost - self proclaimed - champion, Messiah Al Gore. Instead of honoring Mother Earth on April 22nd, Messiah Al's disciples want to change it to March 31st, the day when Messiah Al first stained humanity's skivvies. Move over, Easter.

In these diversity bonkers times, some elements of the Caterwauling Coalition have kicked it up a notch by devoting an entire month to themselves. In addition to the familiar ones - Black History Month, Women's History Month, and Gay Pride Month - other groups have staked a claim on entire months of the calendar. In addition to Hispanic Pride Month (there's also a Latino Pride Month), there's a new kid on the block, one devoted to Islamikazes: Islamic Pride Month. Islamic pride? Bite me.

Are We the PIGs ready to declare war on all this calendar clutter? Not necessarily. If we can't impose order, then we'll spread our special brand of joy with some PIGish observances.

GTFO Day: This would be a REAL Mother's Day, after you frog-march your freeloading offspring out of their basement abode, along with their Xbox, computer, dirty laundry, and slacker friends.

Speak English Day, Dammit So, you wanna come to America? Nifty, on the surface, but can you speak OUR language, English? Nothing torches our tortillas more than some A-Wipe that jumped the fucking border and comes here. They arrive, hat in hand, with a false sense on entitlement, demanding we cater to his needs in his native language, whatever that may be. Due to people like them, they force us to tolerate the "Press One For English" standard.

We're all sick of that load, so we propose a National English Only Day. Comprende? If you don't get with the program, Chico, our next item with resolve that pesky issue.

Landmine Lotto Day: If you like explosives and want to keep illegals the hell out of the U.S. and save our sovereignty, this is a day chock full of fun.

Hey Baby Month: During this observance, roving packs of unneutered dudes invade local Ivory Towers. They'll convene near the Womyn's Studies Department where the guys will channel their inner construction worker.

National Sweater Puppy Month: We think it's time to salute those humanitarians who, on a daily basis, give oppressors the will to carry on, when faced with unrelenting caterwauling from the properly-hyphenated. PIG wants to spearhead the campaign to make this appreciation observance a permanent fixture on our calendar. If the womyn can have a day dedicated to their nads, horndogs demand something in return - a National Sweater Puppy Month, with Kate Upton as our poster wench.

Snowflake Smackdown Day: Kick 'micro aggression' to the curb and go macro, "A is still A, cupcake. If that's a problem for you, get over it. I refuse to censor myself because you have your head up your ass."

Sovereign Individual's Day: We have a Mothers Day, a Fathers Day (AKA ugly tie day) and a Grandparents Day. Thanks to out of control Elected Tormentors, we have 365 days that are "for the children". What we don't have...what we need, in the worst way, is a to honor those besieged individuals who make what's left of America work.

Is the calendar hopelessly cluttered with dumb stuff? You bet, but we're not advocating scrapping everything and starting over.

The trivial, depressing, "awareness/appreciation" days, especially buzzkill days like National No Smoking Day, A Day Without AIDS Day, Breast Cancer Day, make us wonder, "what comes next? "National Genital Warts Awareness Day?" "Hemorrhoid Appreciation Day".

Are there any observances that we endorse? Yup. Some are significant and way worthy of a moment of reflection and somber remembrance. Memorial Day and Independence Day immediately come to mind without Hallmark constantly reminding us, or Madison Avenue trying to guilt unsuspecting consumers to buy their products.

PIG also thinks it's time to get real. From start to finish, our year is littered with days dedicated to supernaturalism. We have no problem with Easter, Yom Kippur, Kwanza, Christmas and assorted other religious observances. We do, however, believe that there's a pressing need for 'the rest of the story'. An Objective Reality Day would do the job nicely, since it counterbalances supernaturalist holidays like Messiah Al's 'Earth Day'.

Last, but far from least, PIG dares to suggest that we set aside at least one day - a whole month would be better - dedicated to political incorrectness. On this day - we think PIG Heritage Day has a nice ring to it - all those annoying P.C. niceties get kicked to the curb and everyone is 'empowered' to be as real as they want, need or dare to be.

In other words, on that day - March 1st, our birthday, would be ideal - everyone, from sea to shining sea, would be an honorary PIG staffer. PIG snouts and curly tails are optional, but the PIG Heritage Day kegger and melee would be MANDATORY. Are we that full of ourselves and 'it'? You better believe it, Sparky.

Now go forth and be aware, observe and appreciate. It's the PIGish thing to do.

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• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY
Test Time
• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To: pig@pigazette.com

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Image Source
MLB
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WORD OF THE DAY

GENDER, n.
1) Formerly a defining trait that was issued at birth, it lost its immutability and is now determined on a minute by minute basis, based on the whims of crossdressing twerps who are alienated from their assigned nads.

2) An inconvenient fact of life which Lefties are trying to throw on the scrap heap, they still haven't explained how there can be 'sexism' in genderless environment.

The most urgent necessity is, not that the State should teach, but that it should allow education. All monopolies are detestable, but the worst of all is the monopoly of education.
Frederic Bastiat

Quotes taken from actual federal employee performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

4. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

5. "Works well when under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap."

6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

11. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

12. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

13. "A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

14. "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."

15. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

16. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

17. "He's been working with glue too much."

18. "He would argue with a signpost."

19. "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

20. "He brings joy whenever he leaves the room."

21. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

22. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

23. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

24. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

25. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

26. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

27. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

28. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

29. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

30. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

31. "It's hard to believe that he/she beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

32. "One neuron short of a synapse."

33. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

34. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

freebeacon.com
Minnesota Schools Adopt Transgender Toolkit for Kindergartners

A "transgender toolkit" for public schools in Minnesota advises teachers to call children "scholars" instead of boys and girls.

The guidelines were approved Wednesday by the "School Safety Technical Assistance Council" and will be distributed to Kindergarten through 12th grade public schools and charter schools throughout the state. The toolkit attempts to "ensure a safe and supportive transition" for children becoming a different gender at school.

The toolkit allows for boys who identify as girls to use the girls' bathroom, and tells teachers to ask kids what their "preferred pronouns" are.

The Minnesota Department of Education encourages parents to have "acceptance and support of their child's gender identity" if they want their child to perform well at school.

"Schools should not assume a student's name or pronoun," the toolkit states. "School officials should ask the student and use the requested name and pronouns."

The department says no legal documents are needed to change a student's name or gender in school records. The department also said that teachers must call students by whatever name they choose to ensure that bullying does not occur.

"When students are referred to by the wrong pronoun by peers or school staff, students may feel intimidated, threatened, harassed or bullied," the toolkit states. "School staff can ensure a more respectful environment for all students when efforts are made to correct the misuse of pronouns, as well as names, in student records."

If a teacher calls a child by the wrong pronoun, he could violate the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, according to the guide.

Teachers also should avoid calling grade school children "boys and girls," because the phrase is not "inclusive."

"Teachers could address students as 'students' and 'scholars' to be inclusive as opposed to 'boys and girls,'" the guide states.

Other tips include not picking a homecoming or prom king and queen—instead students should nominate "prom ambassadors," "homecoming court," or "homecoming royalty."

The department explains, "Language around gender is evolving."

"In some communities, the term 'Two-Spirit' is used for an American Indian person possessing a blend of male and female spirits," the toolkit states. "The term honors people of native heritage. Two-spirit students traditionally do not seek out medical transition nor use the language of transgender nor gender nonconforming to describe their gender."

The toolkit links to several outside resource guides, including the group Gender Spectrum's "Student Gender Transition Plan," where a child can fill out their "preferred name," gender, and assigned sex at birth.

The form asks, "What does the student wish to communicate about their gender?" and what "requests" the student will make, such as a new name, pronouns, or using a different locker room or bathroom.

The plan also includes a schedule for sharing a child's new gender with the school and other parents, and a time for a "parent information night about gender diversity."

The guidebook also advises that students can use the restroom of their choice. The department suggests that school officials should segregate students who feel uncomfortable by a biological boy who identifies as a girl joining the girls' locker room.

"Privacy objections raised by a student in interacting with a transgender or gender nonconforming student may be addressed by segregating the student raising the objection provided that the action of the school officials does not result in stigmatizing the transgender and gender nonconforming student," the toolkit states.

 

* * * * * * * *

1983 E.T. gets a tad carried away with his once every millennium kegger in outer solar system, accidently thrills curious humans with light flashes on Jupiter's moon Io.

1990 Bush I travels that road to Hell that's paved with good intentions when he signs the shyster full employment act (Americans with Disabilities Act).

1993 When they spot Paul Reubens with his Pee Wee Herman flapping in the breeze in an adult movie theater, the cops give him a room with no view in the local graybar hotel..

GET YOUR SCOOP OF PIGISH POOP
If your Boob-Tube, News Nit-Wits or Social Media Meatheads aren't providing you with enough Caitlyn, Justin, Miley, The Donald, High Profile Race Hustlers
or anyone else that stops the presses and your world, well, OMG! and WTF! You're in the right place. Kulture Watch takes precision aim at anyone caught in our crosshairs and headlights and will give you, "The rest of the story."
Read More >>>

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>



Google


PIG CALENDAR
July Is
Founding Fathers Month

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They poured a foundation for your liberty, upkeep is your job..
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A B
ETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
>>> Read More >>>

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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
ALICE'S RESTAURANT
PIGsters! You don't have to wait until Schools Out to head into Alice Cooper'stown in Phoenix, AZ, an eatery founded by Alice Cooper and Randy Johnson. A place where Jocks and Rock meet. Try their specialty, The Big Unit.
>>> Menu >>>
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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WWW.ARIZONABITEME.COM
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TEXAS FRED
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NATIONAL REVIEW
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FARK
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HOPE 'N' CHANGE CARTOONS
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LOCK AND LOAD
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WOODPILE REPORT
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STRANGE POLITICS
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HONOR 1778
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SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
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MISS RED MUSES
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2017 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2015: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.