Thanksgiving is upon us and it's time for us to get over ourselves, take a step back and give thanks for all our blessings. It's a time when that we look around and reflect on all the glorious gifts that enrich us and say a solemn...
We interrupt this sickening sentimentality for a message from a rational adult. If you think PIG is going to serve up that kind of sentimental slop, you aren't paying attention, Sparky. This is PIG and we don't perpetrate that kind of "me too" holiday crap. We both know why you keep coming back for a generous helping of our infamous incorrectness, so don't even try to deny it. Are we up to this giving thanks challenge? You better damn believe it, turkey coma Sparky.
This year, we decided to continue a tradition that we initiated several years ago. I'm not sure when we veered off onto this new approach to giving thanks, but I'm reasonably certain it was after the pizza and beer fueled "porn babes or strippers" melee reached critical mass. We were contending with the residual bumps, bruises, abrasions and contusions, when we finally had our inspiration.
With a holiday dedicated to giving thanks upon us, PIG is more determined than ever to honor this holiday in our own, utterly PIGish, way. For the past few years, we 'helped' certain pinheads, peabrains and pygmy-winkied pests who continue to amaze, amuse and/or annoy us be thankful in a meaningful way. This year, we're taking another shot at some of the same fools, felons, fatheads and intellectual flatliners, who make our PIGish job so damn easy.
Many of you are already familiar with this PIGish Top Story tradition. On the off chance that there's a rookie in our reading audience, here are what pass for rules of engagement. First, there are those people, events, and things for which We the PIGs are no bull crap thankful. Owing, in large part, to the Red Shed Jihadikaze, our 'Thankful' list is shorter than usual.
We the PIGs will also salute those people, events and things for which We the PIGs are DIFFERENTLY thankful.
Finally, we kick it up several notches, by listing those people, events and things for which We the PIGs would LIKE TO BE thankful.
PIG is Thankful For...
PIG is no shit thankful for all the men and women, from sea to shining sea, who put their lives and pursuit of happiness on hold, while they put on the uniform to defend our liberty from our sworn enemies.
PIG is no bull crap profoundly thankful for all the rank and file Americans in the Tea Party movement. We're thankful that they shrugged off the verbal abuse, bullying, and race card retard antics, from the MSM, Moonbats, plus both political parties, while they steadfastly working to change the political landscape in this land conceived in liberty.
PIG is thankful for Ayn Rand who saw where were heading 50 years ago, in her eerily prophetic novel 'Atlas Shrugged'. It's not her fault that We the People ignored her warning until it was too late to stop the Marxist insanity.
PIG is profoundly thankful for Senator Mike Lee and Senator Ted Cruz who seem to be the only no shit rational AMERICAN adults in Congress.
PIG is VERY thankful for Internet-based radio shows plus iTunes Radio, for giving us something to entertain and enlighten us, when our local boom box choices SUCK.
PIG is profoundly thankful for the Turkey Fryer manufacturers who sell these weapons of mass poultry destruction to pyromaniac pinheads, allowing that holiday bird to go out in a blaze of glory which, invariably engulf's the Turkey Fryer twerps' home. Now that's entertainment.
PIG is profoundly thankful for the daily dose of 'warts and all' reality we get from Mark Levin. His voice of reason gives us the strength to keep fighting to restore the America that the Obamunists are hell bent to destroy.
PIG is profoundly thankful that the boob tube remote has a 'mute' switch, every time we stray onto that harpy-infested pestilence, The View.
PIG is provisionally thankful for that clown infested pimple on boob tube journalism's butt: MSNBC. This stellar assemblage of comedians puts MSNBC on a par with 'Laugh In', or the golden age of 'Saturday Night Live'.
PIG is thankful for TLC which made our day by kicking that pedophile pandering lard ass, Mama June, to the curb, when it yanked 'Honey Boo Boo' from its program lineup.
PIG is off the scale thankful for you, the loyal PIGsters who make regular pitstops at the FSOP.
PIG Is Differently Thankful For...
PIG is differently thankful for the Elected Tormentors who pinned a bull's-eye on wenchlets, by allowing pimple-faced perverts posing as transgenders to get a cheap thrill when they use the girls' restroom.
PIG is differently thankful for the horde of disease-ridden, gangbanger, dregs of Central American societies who swarmed over our southern border, unimpeded, uninvited and unwanted.
PIG is differently thankful for the rat bastards in D.C. who ushered in our post Constitutional era, by transforming this land conceived in liberty into a banana republic.
PIG is differently thankful for affirmative action school discipline, where only whitey gets punished for his infractions.
PIG is differently thankful that incoming Senate Majority Leader McConnell hasn't used his Cadillac health plan to have some quack give him a spine and a full set of balls.
PIG is differently thankful for hair incinerating asshats who have hissy fits over Washington REDSKINS.
PIG is differently thankful that the human gene pool has been egregiously damaged after Tila Tequila and Porn Star Kardashian-West have spawned.
PIG is differently thankful for a race-mongering Obama regime that has set the stage for a Rodney King class race war in Ferguson, Missouri.
PIG is differently thankful for all the brain dead, glass half full, buttheads who seek a silver lining on ISIS, by lauding the services/stability enjoyed by people in conquered territories. These buttheads didn't mention the majority of the original population who were beheaded, butchered, gang-raped to death or sold into sexual slavery.
PIG is differently thankful for a Dumbo-earred POTUS whose antics makes us utterly nostalgic for 'the good old days' of the Carter Administration.
PIG is differently thankful for an Obamunist Regime that has made the world a much more dangerous place by systematically destroying our military at the very moment we need it to square off with China, Russia, ISIS and Iran.
PIG is differently thankful for the Obamunist Regime's ruinous, catastrophic, deficit spending binge, that put this land conceived in liberty on the fast track to debt, despair, and the destruction of our prosperity.
PIG is differently thankful for a POTUS who flushes the U.S. Constitution down the crapper when he imposes his Marxist whims by issuing imperial decrees.
PIG is differently thankful that our designated fishwrap has stopped using AP as its primary news source and moved to the far left by making the New York Times its primary news source.
PIG is differently thankful that Canada has exiled an obnoxious little punk - Justin Bieber - to America. What the fuck did we do to Canada to deserve something THAT vile?
PIG is differently thankful for a music industry that a scrawny Twerking skank - Miley Cyrus- and an androgynous peep show pestilence - Lady Gaga - are the best they can offer.
PIG is differently thankful for a Marxist Jackass Party which has deliberately orchestrated the wanton destruction of America's healthcare system, thus significantly shortening the lives of ALL American citizens.
PIG is differently-thankful for Barack "O'Dumbo" Obama whose oversized ears seem inexplicably dysfunctional when it comes to detecting sounds - especially approval-ratings tanking blowback from We the People over his Nanny State on steroids antics. Despite their deficiencies when it comes to hearing, O'Dumbo's ears provide enough cooling shade - on each side - for a family of four, plus a score of Czars.
PIG is differently thankful that Blubbering John (House Speaker Boehner) is the top Elephant Clan fool on the hill (Capitol Hill).
PIG is differently thankful for an American Educrap scheme which fills eager young minds with Obama worshiping, culturally Marxist, claptrap.
PIG is differently thankful for public employee unions whose insanely expensive retirement plans have cities, counties and states, from sea to shining sea drowning in a sea of red ink.
PIG Would Like To Be Thankful For...
PIG would like to be thankful for Senate Majority Leader Ted Cruz.
PIG would like to be thankful for a rational adult who shoved Obama's Imperial decree signing pen up Barry's ass then rammed it home with the presidential putter.
PIG would like to be thankful for an invitation to the Secret Service's next Columbian hooker mixer.
PIG would like to be thankful for a government edict that pinned a 'National Recreation Area' designation on Porn Star Kardashian's Jupiter size caboose then declared it 'open to the public'.
PIG would like to be thankful for a Congress controlling Elephant which mounted a vigorous defense of We the People, instead of rolling over and playing dead at the Marxist Moonbats' feet.
PIG would like to be thankful for a Dumbo-eared POTUS with Messianic delusions, who resigns, renounces his citizenship, then goes to live with his Shiite homeboys in Iran.
PIG would like to be thankful for a long overdue moment of intellectual clarity, which makes the looters and moochers venerate achievers for their accomplishments instead of denigrating them.
PIG would like to be thankful for some brain damaged Extra Terrestrial stoners who swooped down to abduct the entire Kardashian clan.
PIG would like to be thankful that Dick 'Got It Wrong Again' Morris and Karl 'Legend in His Own Mind' Rove moved to a Trappist Monastery.
PIG would like to be thankful for a Commander in Chief who loved our country enough to vigorously defend it from our sworn enemies.
PIG would like to be thankful for very special Rapture-like event which beamed out all the Islamikazes, the Obamunists, and such irredeemably Marxist Moonbats as Barry, Upchuck Schumer, Whorehouse Harry, San Fran Nan, and Barbara Boxer.
PIG would like to be thankful for an airline traveler who finally snaps and repays the on-going Gate Grope abuse by beating the TSA piece of crap into a bloody pulp. We the PIGS would like to be SO thankful, that we'd $hell out for a legal defense fund.
PIG would like to be thankful for a Homeland Stupidity Department, which showed the same level of aggression against border jumping scumbag invaders as their TSA goons typically deploy against law abiding, air traveling Americans.
PIG would like to be thankful for an automotive engineer who invented a 'just kidding' signal and gave it to that dipstick who sorely tested our faith in our fellow man, by driving 50 miles, in the same lane of the expressway, with his, her, hisher, or its turn-signal flashing the thrilling 'I'm an idiot' news.
PIG would like to be thinkful for a rational adult who would pull over the pinhead driving 25 mph in the fast lane on the Expressway then show that slowpoke the location and function of the f**king accelerator.
Hambo's Special Thanks
Hambo is off the scale thankful that, despite the 300,000 miles it has traveled, his 30 year old Paganmobile still gets him where he needs to go, without any unwanted drama.
Hambo is thankful for Wonderland, which puts money in his pocket while it gives him a steady stream of inspirational episodes for his PIGish scribbles.
Hambo is thankful for his partner in PIGish fun and games, Porcus O'Publisher.
Hambo is no bull crap thankful for his lovely bride who hasn't let her husband's unrelenting PIGish antics shatter her sanity.
The Free State Of PIG is thankful for all past, present and future visitors to PIG.
Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving.