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Tuesday
March 31, 2015

FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race
• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
>>> Go Here >>>

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore & Any Kardashian caboose Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY
NO FLY ZONES
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How Progtards protect their fatally flawed sacred cows from painful truths..

A no-fly zone is a territory or an area over which aircraft are not permitted to fly. Such zones are usually set up in a military context, somewhat like a demilitarized zone in the sky, and usually prohibit military aircraft of a belligerent power from operating in the region.

If your life is littered with Progtards, you know, too well, that they are the embodiment of the old saying: they can dish it out, but they can't take it. In fact, if you try to say anything, they'll silence you. For them, a 'dialogue' involves them ranting their moonbat gibberish while you listen to it. They don't want to hear the truth, about anything, because they can't handle it. If that truth thing got out in the public sphere, it might catch on, and we can't allow that.

Self-appointed masters of the public discourse, they do their best to keep dangerous notions like freedom of speech, limited government, inalienable individual liberty and individual accountability from 'the masses'. Of all the dangerous truths, the most dangerous of all is the truth about their cherished - and fatally flawed - icons. From noxious notions like Global Warming and Secondhand Smoke to Lefty luminaries like Shrillary and Barry, the one thing the Progtards won't allow is some hooligan shouting "the Emperor has no clothes".

What, if anything does this have to do with No Fly Zones? Good question.

This rant reached critical mass, when some Shrillary supporters - HRC Super Volunteers - began constructing what we'll call a Rhetorical No Fly Zone - over Bubba's bisexual bride. This Rhetorical No Fly Zone seeks to shield Shrillary from her own past, present and future antics. Borrowing a page from the Obamunist playbook, Shrilllary's Shriekers are using the kind of Rhetorical No Fly Zone tactics that keep The One from being responsible for his own actions. The One's minions use it with the utmost skill to keep those pesky POTUS chickens from coming home to roost in the Red Shed's fabled Oval Office.

The Rhetorical No Fly Zone - henceforth RNFZ - which shields Obama is depressingly simple, conceptually.

Anyone who dares to question The One's actions is racist.

If you disagree about 'rule by imperial decree', you're a racist.

If you disagree about any of his policies, you're racist.

If you question his work ethic as POTUS, you're a racist.

If you mention his Jihad against Israel, you're a racist.

If you cite the ways he violates the Constitution, you're a racist.

If you delineate all the actions he's taken on behalf of Islam inspired terrorism, you're a racist.

If you discuss how utterly unsuited, unqualified, he is for his POTUS position, you're a racist.

If you use his middle name, that's racism, too.

Anyone who points out The One's lies, damn lies, and his habit of contradicting himself are deemed racist.

Why are such things, and countless others racist? Because they get too real about The One who is our first black president.

During our sojourn in this particular circle of hell, the size of Obama's RNFZ has expanded geometrically until it encompasses everything. It can't be avoided and when the MSM piles it on, this RNFZ bullshit can be quite intimidating.

In Shrillary's instance, her Shriekers started modestly. Citing 'first female POTUS', Shrillary's Shriekers constructed a small, unimpressive RNFZ out of a dozen words that the MSM - all of us - are forbidden to use when describing Shrillary:

Polarizing, calculating, disingenuous, insincere, ambitious, inevitable, entitled, over confident, secretive, "will do anything to win", "represents the past", "out of touch".

Curiously missing are "Benghazi", "Whitewater", "Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy", "What difference does it make?", "personal e-mail server", plus comments about her tongue candy - Huma. I guess that makes these topics fair game.

There's nothing new about a political hack who does whatever it takes to distance himself, herself, hisherself or itself from responsibility for their own actions. That's as old as politics itself. Congenital assholes like UpChuck Schumer hit an opponent/critic with a pre-emptive out pouring of invective which borders on character assassination. For those not as gifted when it comes to vitriol, other methods are used, the most popular of which is the pay for play Spin Doctor. Among other things, a Spin Doctor makes an ideal scapegoat, when things get out of hand. If the 'scandal' won't go away unless someone falls on their sword, the Spin Doctor is made to order. I think it's part of their job description.

Senator Elizabeth 'Fauxcahontis' Warren is another lefty whom the Progtards have fitted with a No Fly Zone for her factually-flawed contention that she's part Siberian-American:

"No, as I said, these are my family stories. I have lived in a family that has talked about Native Americans, talked about tribes since I had been a little girl," she said. "I still have a picture on my mantel and it is a picture my mother had before that - a picture of my grandfather. And my Aunt Bea has walked by that picture at least a 1,000 times remarked that he - her father, my Papaw -- had high cheek bones like all of the Indians do. Because that is how she saw it and your mother got those same great cheek bones and I didn't. She that thought was the bad deal she had gotten in life." (CBS Affiliate)

For bringing that up, I'm - TA DA - a sexist. Shame on me. I suppose that mentioning how devoid she is of any meaningful leadership experience is sexist, too. There I go again.

Cowering in the deep shadows of Junk Science, are two prime examples of pay for play lab coated hooliganism. Each is shielded by its own RNFZ. The first is based on the gold standard of data manipulation and what amounts to scientific fraud. I refer to our old friend Secondhand smoke, which includes its bastard child, Thirdhand Smoke.

When it became clear that 'the public' was not suitably alarmed over the deleterious effects of firsthand smoke on smokers, the Smoke Nazis pulled a real stinker out of their butts. The name of this gem is secondhand smoke and it - allegedly - a BIGGER health risk than firsthand smoke. Why? Because, thanks to the numbers games played by Smoke Nazis, secondhand smoke is more deadly than firsthand smoke, PLUS, its primary victims are non-smokers who strayed too close to a smoker.

Secondhand smoke is still alive and well, as shown by the increasing popularity of smoking bans in public places. The problem, for Smoke Nazis, is that they haven't found a way to ban smoking in ALL private places. They made inroads in apartment buildings, and in some places, banned smoking in cars, when there's a child along for the ride. Despite that, there's no leverage available that might allow Smoke Nazis to stick their foot inside the door of a smoker's home sweet home. That's seems destined to change. How? You're going to be thrilled.

The new kid on the Smoke Nazi block is - TA DA - thirdhand smoke. That's right THIRDHAND SMOKE. What is it? According to the Smoke Nazis, it's the smoke 'contamination' which lingers long after a cancer stick is extinguished. It's the 'particulate matter' left over from tobacco smoke which sticks to clothes, hair, body parts, furniture, and everything else exposed to tobacco smoke. Big fun, but it gets better because, according to lab coated Smoke Nazi zealots, thirdhand smoke is a dire threat to - you gotta know what's coming - THE CHILDREN.

There's no nifty 'ism' for this one, so you'll need to take solace in 'shill for big tobacco' and/or 'capitalist exploiter'.

The second Junk Science stinker is, as if you can't guess, 'Global Warming'. The inconvenient truth that this RNFZ protects is this: the computer models on which this whopperthon is based have been proven, by REAL climate experts, to be fatally flawed. The dire predictions based on them, aren't even close to being real. Furthermore there's that 17 year long stretch, from the late 1990s to the present during which no warming was measured, according to satellite data.

In case you wondered denigrating Global Warming hysteria makes me denier and a sworn enemy of Mother Earth. I'm so ashamed.

The most rapidly expanding RNFZ belongs to Islam. In addition to shielding Islam's inherent violence and inability to peacefully coexist with anybody, it also safeguards a seemingly endless list of things that are forbidden by Islam for its adherents. The following list that I found in cyberspace is a good place to start.

Forbidden for women and men:

Talking too much
Cursing
Praying behind a woman
Not removing hair from certain body parts at least every 40 days…or every Thursday or every Friday (depending on which hadiths make the most sense to you)
Talking to the "opposite" gender (except immediate family members), unless absolutely necessary
Being alone with the "opposite" gender (except immediate family members), unless absolutely necessary
Masturbating
Lusting after the "opposite" gender
Being homosexual (gay, lesbian)
Being neither woman nor man, being queer
Wearing the clothes of the "opposite" gender
Chatting/talking to/with the opposite gender on the Internet
Eating any non-zabeeha/halaal meat (including in the West)
Eating shrimp and most other sea foods
Playing music
Listening to music
Indulging in any musical activities
Being Sunni (according to the non-Sunnis)
Being Shi' (according to the non-Shi's)
Being Ismaili (according to the non-Ismailis)
Being Ahmadi (according to the non-Ahmadis)
Being Wahhabi (according to the non-Wahhabis)
[… you get the point]
Being Christian
Being Jewish
Being Hindu
Being Confucianist
[… you get the point]
Smoking
Getting tattoos
Putting a khaal (like the Afghans and some Middle Easterners do) on your forehead or anywhere on the face
Nationalism
Tribalism
Preferring your ethnicity to your religion (Islam)
Gossiping
Eating foods with gelatin
Eating with a spoon or fork (rather than with hands)
All forms of art
Taking photos, keeping photos in the home
Having a dog inside the home
Saying the word "khanzeer" (pig) [your prayers won't be accepted for 40 days afterwards]
Watching TV (unless it's some educational and Islamic program)
Doritos
Skittles
Starbursts
(And most probably your other favorite candies and chips – let's pray to God that ferrero rocher isn't among them, though)
Vitamins/multivitamins
Being vegan and/or vegetarian (especially if you're a woman! Since you might upset your husband and in-laws)
Playing chess

There's a lot more, but you get the idea. If these are banned for Islamists, then you're insulting Islam every time you violate one or more of them, especially if an Islamikaze is present. How can I live with myself, after bringing up, all that Islamophobic stuff?

"Future Citizens" - you'll know them as Disease-Ridden Border Jumping Scumbag Invaders - have a relatively new RNFZ. In theory their RNFZ banishes such topics as: the diseases they reintroduce into America, the crime they bring with them, their moocher status - free schooling, free healthcare, freebies from the Nanny State - plusthe squalor the perpetrate, to name a few.

In case you wondered, mentioning such things makes me - hangs head in shame - a Xenophobe and a racist.
.
Does your local lefty pain in ass have his, her, hisher or its RNFZ? Probably, but it won't be as impressive as the ones I cited. Don't take it too hard. He, she, heshe or it is just getting started. Speaking of getting started, when are you going to get working on yours? Enquiring minds want to know.

 


• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

Cell idiots

• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To:
pig@pigazette.com

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Image Source
PIGster Zykmel
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WORD OF THE DAY

ACCOUNTABILITY, n.

1) The kind of 'the buck stops here' mindset which seems to be the only thing which Messiah Barry's security goons manage to keep out of the Red Shed, while Prompter Punk is 'in the house'.

I believe that our federal government has become oppressive in its size, its intrusion into the lives of our citizens, and its interference with the affairs of our state. That is why I am here today to express my unwavering support for efforts all across our country to reaffirm the states' rights affirmed by the Tenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. I believe that returning to the letter and spirit of the U.S. Constitution and its essential 10th Amendment will free our state from undue regulations, and ultimately strengthen our Union.
Former Mexas Governor Rick Perry

If a lesbian couple can force a Christian baker to make their wedding cake, does that mean I make a devout Muslim butcher sell me pork chops?

Best Laid Plans

[ClickOrlando] Volusia County deputies have arrested a duo they say teamed up to burglarize DeLand homes before they were caught in the act by a homeowner on Thursday afternoon.

Tobias Cobb, 35, and Kimberly Jarrell, 38, were arrested after deputies say Jarrell would knock on doors to check if potential burglary victims were home and if no one was home, Cobb would burglarize the house.

Deputies said Margaret Gulla, a former weightlifter, came home to her house on Princeton Road to find Cobb in a bedroom of her house.

"You are in my mother and dad's house and it ain't happening," said Gulla.

When Gulla tried to call for help, Cobb smacked her phone out of her hand and punched her in the face, according to the report.

"He hit me, so I socked him in his eye and he was trying to get away and I had him by his shirt and I wouldn't let go. I tried to drag him to get to the phone," said Gulla.

A neighbor chased Cobb to a plaza on South Woodland Boulevard and flagged down a deputy.

Deputies said Cobb surrendered after a deputy tracked him to a closet and said "You can come out of the closet or you can be bit by my dog."

Deputies found a hammer, rubber gloves and the victim's family's jewelry in his backpack, according to a release.

Cobb was charged with burglary with assault/battery, burglary of an occupied structure, grand theft, depriving the use of 911, resisting an officer without violence, possession of burglary tools and criminal mischief.

Jarrell was arrested on a principal to burglary charge after the neighbor spotted her walking with Cobb just before the burglary.

They were both booked into Volusia County jail.

"Just don't come back to my house again, because the next time you'll get shot," said Gulla.

The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton

• The U.S. Army announced it will charge U.S. Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl with desertion despite the White House calling him a hero last May. The Obama administration traded five Taliban leaders in exchange for him. The government can't even effect a prisoner swap without running up an eighty percent deficit.

• President Obama agreed with Afghanistan's president Tuesday to slow down the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan. At first he promised total withdrawal, then he ordered the surge, then withdrawal and now partial withdrawal. We don't have a policy so much as we have the rhythm method.

• The Secret Service was ripped in House hearings over lax White House security Tuesday. That's the bad news. The good news is, President Obama has admitted he's been having trouble going to sleep at night, but now he goes right to sleep by counting intruders as they jump over the White House fence.

• The White House announced Wednesday that President Obama cleared his schedule in order to have lunch in the Oval Office with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The president's press secretary told reporters that the lunch was very private. It was just the two of them and their food tasters.

• The White House insisted that President Obama's Mideast strategy is a success Thursday. We're fighting with Sunnis against the Iranians in Yemen and we're fighting with the Iranians against the Sunnis in Iraq. The last thing the world expected from a polished urbane president was a square dance.

• The New York Daily News reports a Pennsylvania man won seven million dollars in a lottery on a ticket his son placed in his get well card before he went into surgery. He was presented the seven million dollar check in his recovery room. By the time he paid his hospital bill, he had seven dollars left.

• The Ayatollah Khameni went on Iranian TV last week and expressed his determination that Iran become a Mideast nuclear power. Iran's leader pointed out that Israel, Egypt, India and Pakistan all have atomic bombs. That's because the British never remember to clean out the closet before they leave.

• The People vs. O.J. Simpson will be an FX mini-series this year starring Cuba Gooding Jr. as O.J. and John Travolta as Bob Kardashian. He's in prison for using a gun in a Vegas hotel room robbery of his own memorabilia. When O.J. stopped using a knife, it was like Michael Jordan playing baseball.

• The University of Phoenix said its enrollment dropped from five hundred thousand students to two hundred thousand students the last five years. It's a mass exit. Most of them dropped out when they found out that spring break consisted of walking to the refrigerator and drinking your dad's beer.

• Dartmouth College fraternity Alpha Delta branded their pledges in the latest fraternity scandal this year. Others include drinking contests, racist singalongs, and nude photos of dates on a FB page. Al Gore had no idea when he invented the Internet it was the beginning of the end for white privilege.

ey also need to vote too

1774 Humor-challenged Brits punish colonists for Boston Tea Party with Boston Port Act that shuts port of Boston for any trade except essential fuel and supplies.

1909 New Baseball rule suspends players who jump contracts for 5 years, teams that jump cities still get new stadium.

1918 America's political pinheads impose daylight savings time; it's not nice to fool around with mother nature.

1922 KFI-AM takes a baby step toward 8000 pound talk show gorilla status with first radio broadcast.

1928 National Hockey League Hall of Fame right winger, Gordie Howe, is born in Floral, Saskatchewan. Happy Birthday, Gordie.

1940 Liberal hack daily double: Patrick Leahy and Barney Frank born, nonstop caterwauling ensues.

1948 Al Gore makes his earthly debut, claims he created the Universe in 6 days, whines that God stole the credit

1959 Angus "Highway to Hell" Young, a member of Hambo's favorite hard rock band, AC/DC, is born in Glasgow, Scotland with a guitar pick in his hand.

1975 UCLA coach John Wooden goes out on a winning note, bags 10th NCAA Title in 12 years.

1985 Popular American culture takes an improbable turn with Wrestlemania I; Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse saddle up.

1991 Former Partridge Family child 'star', Danny Bonaduce, kicks up his name recognition, big time, when he attacks a transvestite hooker in Phoenix.

 

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
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INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those thart merit this odiferous awad. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
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PIG CALENDAR

March Is
Requiem Month

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Progtards murdered America, may she rest in peace.
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• O-CRAP! •

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Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.
>>> Read More >>>

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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A BETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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TEXAS FRED
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



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Copyright © 1993-2015: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.