PAGE ONE PIG | TOP STORY | NEWS DIGEST | FEATURES


Saturday
June 24, 2017

FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race
• CUPCAKE NATION •
Too many Cupcakes, Basement Boys and preciuos Snowflakes invading your Safe Space? You're in the very most, PIGish Safe Space.

>>> Cupcakes >>>

• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
ODE TO
BLACK LIES MATTER

There once was a thug named Brown,
Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown,
Six bullets later,
He met his creator,
Then his homies burnt down the town

GRAMMY TIME!
Why Have Granola When You Can Have Some Grammy Tune In.
>>Grammy Time >>
ART TIME!
EnjoyThe Art Of Danish Artist, Cirkeline Nilsson.
>> Cirkline >>
DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
Just Toss 'Em A Card
Click Below To Learn How You Can Be The First Kid On Your Block To Start Carding.
>>> Go Here >>>

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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Their Very Own, Self-Imposed Safe Space?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
Cry Bullies
Q. Tarantino
#BLM
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore
Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY

ATTENTION GRADS
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"You have to be patient with me - I'm just a guitar player. I didn't go to college. I was too busy learning stuff."
- TED NUGENT.
.
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You might call this Top Story a PIGish trigger warning for objective reality, because the real world can be a pisser, especially if your upbringing and schooling hasn't properly prepared you for it. Our primary focus is the Ivory Tower grad, but it's also applicable to a high school grad who isn't interested in paying through the nose for four more years of brainwashing

For starters, PIG extends hearty congratulations to the High School and College inmates in the graduating Class of 2017! Now that you have your diploma or degree, you're going to need to forget all the social engineering crap you were force fed by Educrat Eggheads for 12 plus years. The mere fact that you're here means one or more of the following is true:

1) Despite the Educrats' best efforts to indoctrinate you with cultural Marxism, multiculturalism, level playing fields, sensitivity training, and diversity, your synapses are still working.

2) You work for the NSA

3) You clicked something during a dizzy spell and when the room stopped spinning, you were here.

4) Your obsession with weird sex convinced you that 'PIG' is a porn site featuring plumpers.

Whatever the case, PIG is here with our Post Graduation Survival Guide. Who knows, we might help you locate that elusive rascal, your inner rugged individual.

We don't promise to tell you what comes next, nor do we plan to save you from yourself, basement boy. What you do is your call. Our primary purpose is to alert you about some of life's speed bumps. Think of us as your very own 'this is Realville' Welcome Wagon.

We're not here to lecture you, no matter what your choice...Choice? That's right, Choice. For the first time, YOU call YOUR own shots, a vital first step in regaining your individuality and securing your independence.

Since the very first day of Pre-School, to the moment you grabbed your High School diploma and told principal dude where to shove it, you have become, in some ways, the product of State Sponsored Follow The Herd Indoctrination. Choice was not an option. Questioning authority was not an option. A difference of opinion was not an option. Hell, dodgeball was not an option...you don't want to get us started on THAT.

Aside from all the Feel-Good Gobbledygook, and maybe some reading, writing and arithmetic, sprinkled in every once in a while, you ask yourself, "What the Hell did I learn?" You better come up with a suitable answer because you're about the do a header into an intransigent brute called "objective reality".

Objective reality is a nasty bit of business that takes no prisoners, but we're not the heartless bastards you think we are. 'Since you're not ready for warts and all reality, we'll jump start your brain with Remedial Enlightenment Here are some essential 'guess what' items to prepare you for your header into that pernicious pest, objective reality and it's partner in crime "real life":

1: Life is not fair; get used to it. Life rarely serves up an equality of results. It does, on the other hand, deploy the same opportunities to all comers.

2: Unlike the Little League in that blue state where you grew up, Life keeps score then picks winners and losers, accordingly.

3: Remember how your rights suffocating campus had designate free speech zones which you needed permission to use.? The real world doesn't work that way. By and large, unless a property owner says otherwise, the good old USA is one big ass free speech zone which you don't need permission to use.

4 The first thing the real world does is rip off your training wheels [trigger warnings, speech codes etc]. You're going to see things you don't want to see, hear things you don't want to hear and encounter concepts you don't want to think about. That's why liberty is such a thrill ride.

5: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

6: Remember when your NO-NAD BFF talked you into switching your major from Sociology to Gender Studies? No harm, no foul, since, in the real world, both have you headed for the same place: a 'do you want fries with that' career path.

7: Get ready for some REAL diversity, a diversity of IDEAS. Those 'undesirables' whom the thought police hounded off campus are much more plentiful than you think. There are a LOT of them and they're everywhere you go. You can't make them shut up, or go away.

8: Unless your family owns the company, you won't snag that six-figure salary. a vice president job and a company paid BMW right out of school. In this Obamanized economy, you'll be damn lucky to pull down minimum wage at a fast food joint.

9: If you think your teachers are tough, wait till you get a boss. S/he doesn't have tenure.

10: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

11: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.

12: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

13: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

14: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

15: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

16: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

17: In school you had that friend, classmate, or roommate who always had his hand out for a loan. He's gone, but he's been replaced by an Uncle named Sam, a dude who shoves his hand much deeper into your pocket. Unlike your school moocher, Uncle Sam demands his 'cut' up front, letting you have what's left.

18: The Obamanized real world is going to piss you off. For example, the Elected Tormentors who do their best to make you miserable are, in fact, your chronically-needy pal from school who went pro in the Moocher Big Leagues.

19: Like it or not, it's still your life, so you might as well own it. Dare to celebrate your successes and have the spine to take responsibility for your mistakes.

20: Speech-silencing kill shots which work at school - 'check your privilege', for example - won't get 'er done in Realville. If you get snarky about it, you'll get up close and personal with an American classic, the knuckle sandwich.

With those basics out of the way, the time is right to "Rise and shine, maggots, you're in the real world now, and class will be in session until the day you die."

Welcome to objective reality, graduate Sparky. If your head isn't spinning, we're doing something wrong.

* It's time for you to pay your own way.

* It's time for you to make your own choices, then accept responsibility for the consequences.

* It's time for you to accept the hard lessons that can only be learned from failure.

* Learn the virtues of self sufficiency: No more free rides. No more Mommy and Daddy paying through the nose for your needless cell phone and text messaging, astronomical auto insurance bills, your room, board and cable and up-to-the-minute, trendy wardrobe. No more summer vacations, unless you pay for it. It's your turn now.

What are you going to do? Let's look at some typical choices.

Choice One: College/Grad School (To make mom happy and avoid that real life nastiness) For the standard issue high school graduate, going to college is the preferred way to delay that fateful day when you run afoul of objective reality. Lacking any genuine motivation to amass the requisite knowledge to carry them through life, the 'just delaying the inevitable' college student will find majors like Psychology, Sociology, Educrap, News Nitwit or Ethnocrat Studies very appealing. It's the fast track to an artificially inflated GPA and the fast lane to keeping that umbilical firmly attached to Daddy's wallet.

Post-Graduation Prospects: Here's a hint: "Do you want that gift-wrapped, sir?" "Do you want fries with that?" "Mom, can you have dad add a high speed internet link to the basement for my computer."

Then there's the Bluto-Class College Student. The dude that's been a fixture on campus longer than the pigeon shit on the noble statues that adorn the quad. He majors in keg parties and morale boosting. He's the happy-go-lucky type that you can't help but like, but before he wears out his welcome, he'll drop out after 6 or 7 years and start a multi-million dollar website and retire at 35, Ferrari and all.

Choice Two: Military Do you want to be told when to wake up, what to wear when/where/what to eat & drink, plus when and where to go to sleep? Want to see the world's armpits, kill terrorist scum and play with things that go boom? The military is adept at filling your days and nights with lots of fun stuff. You won't always enjoy it, but your C.O. will enjoy it for you.

Not only will they cure you of your boredom and laziness, they'll teach you stuff you'll take with you the rest of your life. Discipline, teamwork, achieving goals, self respect, and an appreciation for Mom's home cooking.

In Obamanized America, the military option isn't as spiffy as it was. It has been bastardized by political hacks who hate the military almost as much as they hate America. Thanks to them it's no place for a rational adult. If you loved your Korrectness-riddled life in school, you'll adore the new, egregiously degraded military. Otherwise, this isn't your best move.

I'm hopeful that Defense Secretary Mattis can turn this around.

Choice Three: Employment America's backbone. When you nail that first job, and get that first paycheck, some amazing transformations take place. The upside is that you, through your own initiative, have contributed to your boss, and his concern, plus, your independence. Talk about "self-esteem." Yay!!!

Thanks to that fool Obama, our labor participation rate is in the crapper. The only sector that's hiring is the Nanny State. The Good: Job for life. The Bad: BORING. The Ugly: Your co-workers are Marxist Moonbats.

If/when you land a job, you learn 'the rest of the story'. Upon further inspection, you realize that Uncle Sam is taking a major league bite out of your ass and earnings in withholding taxes. It's wake up time, huh? Imagine, your hard work going to subsidize illegals, welfare cases, both corporate and personal, school systems that are circling the drain, Social Security, which you may never collect, and Obamacare, to name a few. By the time you pay your bills, you're lucky if you can afford to have a social life.

Choice Four: In Obamanized America, a depressing number of Americans are casting admiring glances at the new choice on the block: ward of the Nanny State. It's simple enough, in theory, to just let Uncle Sam do the heavy lifting on paying for stuff. The dark underbelly on this one is very dark. Since Uncle Sam doesn't make anything, it can only get money in one of two ways. He can print it, cheapening the purchasing power of money already in circulation. Or, he can steal it from the individuals who earned it and give it to the leeches who didn't earn it. Eventually, the Nanny State depletes the supply of other people's money.

It's too soon to determine how POTUS Trump will impact these options.

Once Again, Congratulations and Good Luck in Mommy's Basement!.

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• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

BIG FUN

 

• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To: pig@pigazette.com

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Image Source
MLB
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WORD OF THE DAY

WELL ENDOWER, adj.

A condition that can be faked on a woman, but only lied about by a man. [Official Dictionary of Sarcasm]

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Billy Connolly

Where's Hambo?

SHUT UP WHITEY

heatst.com
If You're White and Have Opinions, You're Now Guilty of 'Whitesplaining'

"Mansplaining" was so 2016. Half way through 2017, the Huffington Post is peddling a new complaint to add to the American lexicon: "Whitesplaining."

HuffPo's "social justice blogger," Jade Greear, explains this new offense.

"Have you ever had an experience where someone is explaining to you, in a patronizing way, something you actually already know quite a lot about?" she asks. "Possibly about your own life experiences as an African American or Latino? That is whitesplaining—to explain or comment on something in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate or oversimplified manner, from the perspective of the group one identifies with, thereby clearly exhibiting their own bias."

Greear says that while "whitesplaining" can be well-intentioned, it is inherently subjective. It perpetuates racism, she argues, precisely because "racism is not subjective."

"My life experiences and oppression—my truth as a 19-year-old black woman—cannot be invalidated because of the inability of someone with privilege to see it," she writes.

Greear cites a few examples of "whitesplaining," referencing issues where she apparently feels white people have no right to weigh in. It was "not only condescending [but] particularly harmful," she says, when TV hosts weighed in on Colin Kaepernick's protests, or when "self-professed political pundits whitesplain[ed] why blacks should have voted for Trump."

She adds: "Whitesplaining perpetuates white privilege, which fuels racism and only serves to erode the progress we have made in the fight for racial equality in America."

By that line of reasoning, any dispute with Greear's opinions, which are rooted in her impenetrable personal experience, are not only illegitimate; they're actually racist. Instead of civil discourse, she demands deference.

HMMM

heatst.com
Super Horny Preschool Teacher Chooses Losing Her Job Rather Than Quit Porn

A 21-year-old woman was fired from her job as a Christian preschool teacher because she wouldn't end her side hustle as a porn star.

Nina Skye of Beverley Hills, Calif., chose a life of sexual intercourse instead of working with children after her bosses confronted her over roles in films like "Amateur Allure" and "Swallow Salon."
Yes, we know you're only here for the pictures.

"I love teaching. I love sex. If I can get away with doing both, then I will."

Unfortunately for Skye, it looks like she can't. Things could be worse, however. According to The Guardian, Skye can expect to rake in $2,500 a film.

Tee Off & Toast to Summer With The Glenlivet. Watch "Away, Together" For Inspiration

Follow their trip as they reconnect while camping on the Pacific Coast and golfing in Monterey, California.

While she does, uh, seem to have a talent for adult films, Skye insists she is just as capable of a teacher.

"I know what I'm doing when it comes to teaching," Skye told FOX 11. "I'm a really good teacher."

Perhaps in the future, women like Skye won't be so restricted in career choices because of America's puritanical culture. Until then, parents just don't want women who tweet "feel like trying anal today" teaching their children basic reading comprehension.

"I guess some people are really tied by that moral code. There's a really big stigma associated with [doing porn], and how our society views it, but that's not how I am… I'm really open-minded. Super open-minded and not judgmental."

Vet Caps and Morons

A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a 'Viet Nam Veteran' cap. I never had one of these before, and I was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.

Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Walmart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress...enough of my psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"

"No," I replied.

"Then why are you wearing that cap?"

"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812."

I thought it was a snappy retort.

"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"

God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity.

"1936," I answered as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"

"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it."

This was beginning to be way fun!

"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."

"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"

"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."

The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."

"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.'

"Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"

With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.

After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

What a great time!

Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap.

 

*Publisher's Note: New year. New administration. Look for some timely updates and a few new side splitting and/or head scratching sections on our pages.

1947 "UFO" added to American lexicon after E.T.'s ride is spotted over Mount Rainier.

1997 After the U.S. Air Force releases a report stating that the Roswell (New Mexico) 'space aliens' were dummies, E.T. lawyers up and vows to sue for 'hate speech'.

GET YOUR SCOOP OF PIGISH POOP
If your Boob-Tube, News Nit-Wits or Social Media Meatheads aren't providing you with enough Caitlyn, Justin, Miley, The Donald, High Profile Race Hustlers
or anyone else that stops the presses and your world, well, OMG! and WTF! You're in the right place. Kulture Watch takes precision aim at anyone caught in our crosshairs and headlights and will give you, "The rest of the story."
Read More >>>

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>



Google


PIG CALENDAR

June Is
News Nazi Month

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Set their liar liar pants on fire fire.
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A B
ETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
>>> Read More >>>

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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
ALICE'S RESTAURANT
PIGsters! You don't have to wait until Schools Out to head into Alice Cooper'stown in Phoenix, AZ, an eatery founded by Alice Cooper and Randy Johnson. A place where Jocks and Rock meet. Try their specialty, The Big Unit.
>>> Menu >>>
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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WWW.ARIZONABITEME.COM
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TEXAS FRED
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NATIONAL REVIEW
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FARK
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HOPE 'N' CHANGE CARTOONS
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LOCK AND LOAD
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WOODPILE REPORT
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STRANGE POLITICS
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HONOR 1778
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SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
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MISS RED MUSES
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2016 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2015: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.