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Banned In Aussie Cess-Schools
Source: Golden Oinks 2008 [07/18/08]

Spending their entire life standing upside down, at the bottom of the world, doesn’t faze a rational Aussie adult, but it has a nasty impact on the Korrectniks dwelling Down Under. This week, we have all the proof we need that this ‘it’s for the children crap’ is out of control in Australia. Prove it? No problem.

According to these Aussie asshats, there’s a dire threat to Moonbeam and Rocket Boy lurking in a such beloved tyke favorites as "Little Red Riding Hood’, ‘Goldilocks’ plus ‘Hansel and Gretel’:

‘...Parents across SA are being briefed on the impact of the new curriculum, which aims to teach children from preschool upwards the early warning signs of being unsafe and recognising abuse. Teachers have been trained to be wary of storybooks in which characters put themselves at risk – and to respond by offering safety messages.

For example, children would be warned not to talk to people they don't know as Little Red Riding Hood did with the Big Bad Wolf; not to walk around unsupervised like Goldilocks; and not to enter unknown houses like Hansel and Gretel.

Popular modern books would also face scrutiny. The picture book Pig in the Pond, in which a farmer strips off to have a swim on a hot day, would be followed by explaining that it would be inappropriate to undress in front of someone you did not know...’ (Sunday Mail)

Scaring the snot out of tykes with these asinine warnings isn’t enough for Aussie Korrectniks. They want to continue their frontal assault on receptive tyke minds by teaching them, at the earliest possible age, the correct name for certain body parts. Those silly names that mom and day teach them, when referring to their naughty bits, are henceforth, and forever more, uncool for Australia’s government schools. When little Moonbeam, gushing with that enthusiasm found in every three year old, arrives home and regales mom with her new, anatomically correct vocabulary, it’s going to be a no shit Kodak moment.

Korrectnik Indoctrination - Kiddie Division
Source: Steaming Loads [07/11/08]

This steaming pile of turds was pooped out by the Brit Korrectniks who infest every level of the National Children’s Bureau. Amply funded - indirectly, via various groups who swill at the taxpayer trough - this group needed to find some burning need to justify the $24,000,000 (dead presidents) that landed in their bank account.

Seeking problems where none existed, these butt bullets crapped out a 366-page ‘guide’ for pre-school staff entitled ‘Young Children and Racial Justice’. Here are some of the stinkers cited by a Brit fishwrap, the Telegraph:

Toddlers who turn their noses up at spicy food from overseas could be branded racists by a Government-sponsored agency.

This could include a child of as young as three who says "yuk" in response to being served unfamiliar foreign food.

It alerts playgroup leaders that even babies can not be ignored in the drive to root out prejudice as they can "recognise different people in their lives".

It advises nursery teachers to be on the alert for childish abuse such as: "blackie", "Pakis", "those people" or "they smell".

As bad as that sounds, and it’s off the charts for its noxious stench, the following tidbit is the reason the Free State of PIG thinks that flushing the turds who wrote this racist tyke crap is too good for them. They need to be rounded up, shoved against the nearest wall, AND SHOT, for this bullshit:

Nurseries are encouraged to report as many incidents as possible to their local council. The guide added: "Some people think that if a large number of racist incidents are reported, this will reflect badly on the institution. In fact, the opposite is the case." (Telegraph)

Translation: If our Universe-wide guidelines aren’t broad enough to make you see tyke racism where none exists, MAKE SOMETHING UP and report it anyway.

More Brit Korrectness
Source: Golden Oinks 2008 [07/11/08]

If you think the Brits are immune to such Korrectnik foolishness as Black History Month, Womyn’s History Month, and all the other months dedicated to the properly-hyphenated, get over it. In fact, Brit Korrectniks stole a march on their Yank counterparts, by spending $140,000 to promote "Gypsy, Roma and Traveller History Month". That’s right, having gone through the whole list of properly-hyphenated groups, the Brit Nanny State finally got around to throwing a ‘history month’ crumb or two to the Gypsy whiners. Big, big, fun, but it gets better.

Eager to promote ‘the inclusion of Gypsy children’ in government cess-schools, the perpetrators of Gypsy, Roma and Traveller History Month cranked out 22,000 copies of a special ‘hug your local Gypsy’ magazine that contains some amazing Gypsy fun facts. Elvis - yes THAT Elvis - was a Gypsy. Film legends Charlie Chaplin and Rita Hayworth stem from Gypsy ancestors. Boxer Henry Cooper, commonly assumed to be the first man to knock down Muhammad Ali, wasn’t the first boxer to put Ali on the canvas. That honor goes to John Frankham who was - TA DA - a Gypsy.

We’re pleased to report that at least one rational Brit adult sounded off on this Korrectnik stinker:

Philip Davies, Tory MP for Shipley in Yorkshire and a campaigner against political correctness, said: “This is a grotesque abuse of taxpayers’ money. When families are struggling to pay their bills, for the Government to fund this magazine which speaks garbage is just another kick in the teeth.” (Daily Express)

As expected, the relevant Brit Educrap Department officials are trying to avoid culpability like it’s tainted with ebola. Trying to shield Educrap chief, Lord Andrew Adonis, a spokesdolt, insists that Lord Adonis had nothing to do with the magazine or its contents. He just give them to money to perpetrate it. It’s a nice try, but their ‘nothing to see here, move along’ rings hollow.

Swedish Zero Tolerance
Source: Golden Oinks 2008 [07/04/08]

An 8-year-old Swedish lad did a header into Zero Tolerance Zombie hell, this week. Our young hero had the silly notion that he, and he alone, should be allowed to determine which of his classmates would be allowed to attend his birthday party. He knows better, now, after the Zero Tolerance Zombies at his school impounded the birthday party invitations he handed out during class. Were the invites threatening, obscene, or otherwise tainted? The answer to each question is ‘nope’. He was accused of ‘possible’ discrimination because he excluded two boys in his class from his guest list:

The boy handed out invitations to classmates at his school in Lund, southern Sweden, but did not invite two boys because they were not his friends, the Sydsvenskan newspaper reported earlier this week.

The school, 360 miles south of Stockholm, confiscated all the invitations, saying it objected because it had a duty to ensure against discrimination.

The report on Friday did not name the boy or his family. It said the boy's father has filed a complaint with the parliamentary ombudsman.

The father told the newspaper that the two classmates were not invited because one had bullied his son and the other had not invited his son to the classmate's birthday party. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

"Discrimination?" What a load of crap? How the hell do these Zero Tolerance Zombies breathe with their heads shoved THAT far up their butts?

Why Rocket Boy Can’t Do Fractions
Source: PIG News Wire [06/26/08]

The National Council on Teacher Quality has some thrilling news for parents about the quality of math lessons served up in America’s elementary schools. What’s the message? When it comes to teaching math, these certified Educrats tend to SUCK. A report by the Nation Council on Teacher Quality points the finger at the teachers training programs that, allegedly, prepare these aspiring indoctrinators....uh, educators, for the classroom:

For kids to do better in math, their teachers might have to go back to school. Elementary-school teachers are poorly prepared by education schools to teach math, finds a study being released Thursday by the National Council on Teacher Quality.

The study by the nonpartisan research and advocacy group comes a few months after a federal panel reported that U.S. students have widespread difficulty with fractions, a problem that arises in elementary school and prevents kids from mastering more complicated topics like algebra later on.

The report looked at 77 elementary education programs around the country, or roughly 5 percent of the institutions that offer undergraduate elementary teacher certification.

It found the programs, within colleges and universities, spend too little time on elementary math topics.
Author Julie Greenberg said education students should be taking courses that give them a deeper understanding of arithmetic and multiplication. She said the courses should explain how math concepts build upon each other and why certain ideas need to be emphasized in the classroom.

Teacher candidates know their multiplication tables, but "they don't come to us knowing why multiplication works the way it does," said Denise Mewborn, who heads the University of Georgia department of math and science education. (AP)

The report also points a finger at the pre-screening applied to aspiring indoctrinators.

The report found significant differences in the number and kind of courses required by each education program.

Education schools also are not being selective enough, the report stated. Most require applicants to take an admissions test, usually around their sophomore year of college. But the test, which typically includes reading, writing and math sections, is far too easy, according to the report.

"Almost anyone can get in. Compared to the admissions standards found in other countries, American education schools set exceedingly low expectations for the mathematics knowledge that aspiring teachers must demonstrate," said the report. (AP)

As expected, Educrats seem determined to kill the messenger, rather than make a serious attempt to clean up their own teacher training programs act. Why can’t Rocket Boy do fractions? Because his teacher isn’t properly prepared to teach them.

Zero Tolerance, Oregon Style
Source: PIG News Wire [06/20/08]

It was Madison McFadden’s, a fourth grader at Redland elementary, last day of the school year and she was busy cleaning out her desk. During that process, this Oregon City (Oregon) wenchlet found a container of medicated, over the counter, cold sore cream. Her discovery intrigued a classmate, who asked to try it out. Seeing no harm in it, Madison complied, watching while the classmate tried some, then shared it with a friend.

A short time later, the two classmates who tried the cream started to feel puny. They told the teacher about the cream and, in a heartbeat, all three of them were rushed to the principal’s office. A rational adult - that seems to exclude anyone put in charge of a government school - might chastise the fourth graders, then let them off with a ‘never do that again’ warning. Instead, despite the fact that no harm was done...despite the fact that it was the last day of school, this ZTZ meathead suspended all three of the fourth graders.

This overkill by these rain-soaked Educrats is all the proof you need that the first casualty of Zero Tolerance is common sense.

It’s Too Hard For Us
Source: The Australian [06/10/08]

I’m annoyed to report that graduating idiots with self-esteem isn’t an exclusively American phenomenon. It’s alive and well at what this Aussie fishwrap describes as "one of the nation’s elite private schools", Sydney Church of England Grammar School (Shore). During a recent confab on a national curriculum in English, Dr. Tim Wright, headmaster of the ‘elite school’, whined about how hard the relevant English course is for the inmates at his school.

‘...In his speech, Dr Wright said the NSW English course for Years 11 and 12 was a major challenge for many students. "The intellectual challenge is, in fact, beyond many students. It is seen as arbitrary and from time to time the anguished cry comes: 'Why can't we just read the book?'

"I question whether it (English) ought to be compulsory ... at senior level. It is not enough to simply say that like cod liver oil, English is good for you."...’ (Australian)

If the headmaster of an ‘elite’ school is caving into ‘it’s too hard’ whining from his inmates, I shudder to think what’s happening at Australia’s non-elite schools. Nothing worth having comes easy and education is no exception. We suggest that Dr. Wright tell his inmates to stop whining. He should also adopt a new motto for his school: "No pain, no gain".

A Golden D’Oh Moment
Source: Yahoo News [06/06/08]

When the diplomas were handed out, at a Cleveland-area cess-school - Westlake High School - those graduates who managed to learn to read, despite the Eggheads best efforts to the contrary, got the last laugh. As those grads who are able to read can tell you, the Educrats running their school need to go sit in a corner because somebody in a position of authority at Westlake High can’t spell ‘education’.

The good news is that the Educrats caught one error on the diplomas, but, when they got them back, they failed to proofread the entire document and didn’t spot the spelling error: "educaiton". Oops! As bad as that is, it got worse for Principal Timothy Freeman when local radio stations found out and had a lot of fun at his expense.

Parting shot: Here in the Free State of PIG we’ve always known that those dweebs running our government cess-schools don’t have a clue about ‘education’, but even we thought they knew how to spell it.

Indoctrination Fast-Tracked In U.K.
Source: Daily Mail [06/04/08]

At least one Brit Egghead, a clown named Professor John White, is willing to throw caution to the wind. This week, he thrilled the socks off rational Brit adults when he virtually admitted that government cess-schools aren’t about instilling essential knowledge and skills in cess-school inmates. Instead, with the full support and approval of the statist scumbags running Britain, he served up a bold new plan that is nothing less that a unrestrained statist indoctrination.

Professor John thinks such academic subjects as history, geography and science are egregiously "middle class" and must be eradicated from the government schools. Such things must be stamped out because they are "mere stepping stones to wealth" and we can’t allow capitalism and the inalienable individual such economic success brings to poison precious young Brit minds:

The professor believes the origins of our subject-based education system can be traced back to 19th century middle-class values.

While public schools focused largely on the classics, and elementary schools for the working class concentrated on the three Rs, middle-class schools taught a range of academic subjects. These included English, maths, history, geography, science and Latin or a modern language. They "fed into the idea of academic learning as the mark of a well-heeled middle- class", he said last night. (Daily Mail)

The Daily Mail serves up these "teaching them what to think" stinkers:

‘...Professor White wants ministers to encourage schools to shift away from single-subject teaching to "theme or project-based learning". Pupils would still cover some content but would be encouraged to meet a series of personal aims. The curriculum already states some of these but is "hampered" by the continued primacy of subjects.

The aims include fostering a model pupil who "values personal relationships, is a responsible and caring citizen, is entrepreneurial, able to manage risk and committed to sustainable development"...’

‘...Pupils would no longer study history, geography and science but learn skills such as energy- saving and civic responsibility through projects and themes...’

A specialist in brainwashing - this Egghead calls it ‘philosophy of education’ - Professor John’s plan is simple, straightforward. It's a dagger poised to plunge into the heart of what’s left of Brit liberty. If Professor John succeeds in replacing education with indoctrination, the implications are chilling. A generation or two of tykes who are pre-programmed with the government approved ‘ideas’ will be easily led, unlike those pesky rugged individuals who seek knowledge and the ability to think for themselves from so-called education.

Lone Star State Zero Tolerance
Source: Dallas Morning News [05/29/08]

Normally, the government school inmate who does a header into zero tolerance bull crap is caught doing something silly, or dumb, that poses no real threat to the other student. Anjali Datta blazed a new trail into Zero Tolerance Zombie hell and she did it through sheer brainpower.

A mere 16 years old, Anjali has already amassed enough credits to graduate. She did it with considerable flair, by racking up a 5.898 GPA that might be the highest ever scored in the history of Grapevine-Colleyville ISD. By all rights, given her top ranking in her class of 471, Anjali should be the school’s valedictorian, an honor that comes with a one-year scholarship from the state of Mexas. At this point in her young life, Anjali should be sitting in the catbird seat. She should be, would be, if zero tolerance hadn’t reared its ugly head.

School officials, those trolls who march in lockstep with ‘the rules’, huff that the prevailing rules of engagement state that: "The valedictorian shall be the eligible student with the highest weighted grade-point-average for four years of high school." The key term here is four years. Anjali did four years of work in three calendar years. That’s very impressive, but not impressive enough for school officials who insist on four ‘calendar’ years, not four years of high school credits.

The upshot is that Anjali will be aced out of her rightful place atop her class, an undeserved fate that robs her of her one-year scholarship. Instead, in a move that’s downright insulting, the school will name her their ‘three year valedictorian’, a consolation prize that demeans what this exceptional student has accomplished in her young life.

The Free State of PIG salutes you, Anjali, and joins our voices to the others who protest, ‘she was robbed’.

ACLU Targets Single-Sex Classes In Kentucky
Source: Washington Times [05/24/08]

It took three years of relentless searching, but the ACLU finally found an excuse to mount a frontal assault on a 2006 Department of Education policy that gave the green light to single-sex classrooms in government schools. No matter what the ACLU things, the DOE’s new policy was far from carte blanche, since it mandated, among other things:

* The single-sex class must have an important government objective.

* Boys and girls must be treated in an "evenhanded" manner.

* Coeducational classes in the same subjects must be made available.

It sounds just fine to a rational adult, but nobody ever called the rat bastards at the ACLU ‘rational’. They had their panties in a wad from the get-go, and mounted a full court press to find an excuse to flush single sex classes down the crapper. Why? In the case of Breckinridge County Middle School, the ACLU whines that the text books for boys and girls classes differ. They also whine that the material is covered faster for one set of classes than it is in the other.

If you cut through all this bogus 14th Amendment chest pounding bull crap, you’ll find the NO NADS stirring up more trouble. They’re scared spitless that those lowly males will get up off the educational mat and mount a frontal assault on all those womyn-suffocated Ivory Towers. The last thing they want is single-sex government school classes which will put American males on an equal footing when it comes to higher education.

That’s why the womyn have unleashed their ACLU attack dogs on this Kentucky school district. They’re hoping to use this case to eradicate, for all time, any chance that males will be attending college in greater numbers. Will it work? The jury is still out on that one, but I wouldn’t advise betting against them, because the deck is stacked in their favor.

Ignoring The Elephant In The Room
Source: News Max [05/10/08]

If you want to look at the poster child for the failure of America’s government cess-schools, you’ll probably find him attending school in the Coachella Valley Unified School District (Mexifornia). We know this, because the feds just painted a No Child Left Behind bull’s-eye on the district which has 19 of its 21 schools failing to meet the minimum performance benchmarks four years running. As a result, the entire district is facing sanctions imposed by Uncle Sam.

If you think that Coachella’s problems are an isolated case in the no longer ‘golden’ state, get over it. Mexifornia has racked up a pace-setting 97 districts (nearly a third of the state’s 6.4 million students) that share Coachella’s plight. That’s more than twice the number of failing schools in the next state on the list, Kin-tucky, which has 47 failing districts.

The first response to this mess must come from the individual states. That might mean making the failing districts spew plans to fix the problem. It might also mean the state taking over control of certain districts. Whatever the proposed solution, it will be accompanied by a demand for a bigger infusion from the state or federal treasury.

Getting back to Coachella’s failure to educate, we’re compelled to shine a PIG News spotlight on the Elephant standing in the middle of this cess-school carnage. It’s glossed over in this item which was written by the lefty loads at AP in the opening line of the story: "...99 percent of students live in poverty and fewer than 20 percent speak English fluently." The name of this Elephant is Colonista and it points an unwavering finger of blame at the border jumping scumbags’ tykes who clog Mexifornia schools. How can you educate students who can’t speak English and aren’t motivated to learn?

Parting shot: If you think there isn’t a silver lining to this cess-school failure cloud, get over it:

By taking action now, California can collect $45 million from the federal government. The districts facing the most severe sanctions each will receive $250,000 in federal money to pay for intervention teams and to start following their suggestions. (Newsmax)

That’s right, PIGsters, there’s gold in them there failing grades.

Idiots With Self Esteem
Source: WFAA [05/10/08]

It’s graduation season in the Lone Star State. It’s that time of year, the time when those clucking pests come home to roost after 12 years in a government cess-school. In Dallas, it’s the time of year when a critical mass of the 7,500 graduating seniors will grab that diploma under false pretenses. It’s the time of year when, once again, 75% of those newly graduated DISD seniors who enroll in a Dallas County Community College Ivory Tower will be unable to add or subtract and can’t read above an 8th grade level.

In the fall of 2007, 1,110 DISD graduates enrolled in a Dallas community college. Of those 1,110, 810 were required to sign up for remedial classes to fill in the gaping holes in the education left by their years of social promotion through DISD cess-schools. Many of them can’t fully comprehend a plain vanilla newspaper article. Others can’t add, subtract or do the multiplication tables.

Who gets the blame for this? That depends on whom you ask. Some point the finger at the state’s performance tests, which many alleged Educators finesse by ‘teaching the test’. Other critics blame the tendency to give unwarranted credit for effort, even when that student energy is misdirected. If you pressed an Educrat to name an addition culprit, you’d probably get the familiar whine that it’s all due to a tragic lack of funding. The results of all this finger pointing is this: nothing changes except for the names of the students who weren’t properly educated.

Educrap Daily Double
Source: PIG News Wire [05/09/08]

Mexas
Heather McCurry is a Mexas teenager who needed to raise some money to buy a new laptop. After mulling over the situation, she decided to sell some very special, uh, stuff to her fellow students at Connally High School. I know what you’re thinking, Sparky, and shame on you. She’s not getting horizontal and squishy for pay. Heather’s adventure in capitalism is strictly culinary.

Using a very special brownie recipe, our 17-year-old capitalist went to school where she sold her baked goods for $4 each. What’s that? The price seems a tad high? Did you remember to factor in the pot that she included in the brownies when you calculated the price, don’t forget to carry the ‘1' Sparky?

Heather’s adventure in capitalism hit a memorable speed bump, when one of her customers, a 15-year-old classmate, went to the school nurse complaining about a rapid heart beat. The customer traced her malady back to a brownie she bought from Heather. Hot on the trail, the nurse found our heroine and learned about the special ingredients Heather put in the brownies.

In addition to heretofore undetermined punishment from the school system, our aspiring capitalist is facing some serious justice system drug charges. It’s called ‘selling drugs to a child’, a crime that’s punished by 2 to 20 years in the slammer, plus fines up to $10,000. Ouch!

Idaho
Clint Straatman is a physical education teacher at Minico High School in Rupert (Idaho). His adventure began on May 5th, when a Colonista cess-school inmate showed up at school with a Mexican flag. The inmate, Froylan Camelo, brought the flag to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, but his celebration was cut short by our man Clint:

Camelo said he was changing into gym clothes at Minico High School in Rupert when Straatman told him, "Give me the flag."

"I said, 'What's the problem?'" Camelo, speaking in Spanish, told The Times-News of Twin Falls. "He said, 'The problem is that we are in the United States and not in Mexico.' He grabbed it from me. He threw the flag in the garbage can."

Camelo said that Straatman told him the flag would be returned at the end of the school day, but that Straatman taunted him instead.

"I asked, 'Where is my flag?'" Camelo said. "He said, 'What, the U.S. flag?' I said, 'No, the one for Mexico.' But he wouldn't give it to me." Camelo said he then took the undamaged flag out of the garbage. (Breitbart)

Clint’s version of events has him taking the flag to prevent a confrontation between the Colonista and ‘white students’.

"I had to confiscate it so it wouldn't escalate any problems in class," Straatman told The Times-News. "We're worried about that stuff all the time. We always have kids saying stuff to each other, and we have a lot of fights between kids." (Breitbart)

He admits putting the flag in a tash can, but insists that it was the only place to keep it. Furthermore, he cites Carmelo’s pathetic grasp of English for the misunderstanding. He flatly denies refusing to return the flag.

Now that Carmelo has enlisted the ACLU, we suspect that our man Clint is in a world of hurt. That assessment is bolstered by this Korrectnik bull crap from Scott Rogers, superintendent of Minidoka County Joint School District:

"We believe in nondiscriminatory practices and cultural sensitivity," he said. "We train for that and talk about that. If there is a teacher making derogatory comments we don't approve of that. We also don't approve of a student disrupting the classroom." (Breitbart)

Stick a fork in your Educrap career, Clint, because this Korrectnik crap means you are DONE.

Moonlighting In Flori-DUH
Source: Palm Beach Post [04/30/08]

Tiffany Shepard is a woman of many diverse talents. Despite the undergraduate degree in pre-med that helped her land a teaching position at Port St. Lucie High School, she found herself in need of money after a divorce. She has three young sons to feed and needed a cash infusion, stat. Assessing her money making assets, Tiffany decided to put her bra-bursting sweater puppies to work.

I know what you’re thinking and it’s not THAT. She went to work for Smokin’ Em Charters, the Flori-DUH firm that makes their fishing trips interesting by employing female crew members who perform their assigned tasks in a bikini. Willing to allow some horny bastard to ogle her ample, bikini-clad charms, Tiffany landed the job and pocketed a nifty $600 for two days work on the fishing boat. Since she’s not going topless, and is only putting on display what she’d show on a local beach, Tiffany is convinced that she’s not doing anything that should get her fired from her teaching position.

In public, school officials are willing to go on the record and agree that Tiffany’s moonlighting on the fishing boat is not cause for dismissal. On the other hand, the 30 days of school she missed for one reason or another gave them all the reasons they needed. After giving her two written warnings, the school district cut Tiffany loose, then hired a substitute teacher to finish out the school year in her place. They swear that they didn’t learn about Tiffany’s antics on the fishing boat until AFTER they issued a notice of non-renewal.

As expected, Tiffany isn’t buying the school district’s claims and we have our own doubts on that score, here in the Free State of PIG’s news room. Most likely, the district learned about Tiffany’s sideline, then went hunting for reason to cut her loose. The numerous absences gave them a valid reason to put Tiffany, and her ample charms, in the unemployment line.

Show and Tell
Source: St. Louis Post-Dispatch [04/30/08]

The nicest thing that can be said about a Show Me State Educrat named Jane Kodros is that she made a vivid, lasting, impression when she showed up as a substitute teacher at Alton High School. During her autobiographical presentation, she flipped off her captive audience and dazzled the students in her class with her impressive command of "derogatory words". She was, in every sense of the word, unforgettable. That last fact appears to be her undoing:

The next day, the regular teacher returned and the students reported what happened. The school's resource officer learned Kodros had a warrant for failing to appear at a court hearing related to a derelict vehicle in Alton, and also that her drivers license was suspended due to a drunken driving conviction, McLemore said. Madison County court records show that the warrant was issued in October 2003.

Kodros, who lives in the small Calhoun County town of Kampsville, then returned to substitute teach on Thursday. When authorities learned she was in school, she was arrested during a second-hour class, McLemore said. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

The fact that Jane was bagged, tagged and dragged out of class to a graybar suite isn’t breaking news. There is, however, one tidbit that put me on the floor, laughing like a mental patient: ‘...[Alton High School principal Phil Trapani] said school officials had launched an investigation and that it was unlikely she would ever substitute teach at the high school again.’ (Post-Dispatch, emphasis added). He’s not going to have Jane back? I’m shocked, shocked, I tell you.

Tag, You’re It
Source: Washington Post [04/24/08]

After three weeks in hell over her decision to evict tag from the playgrounds at Kent Gardens Elementary School in McClean (Virginia), School Principal Robin Hooker is ready to pull her head out of her butt. That’s right, PIGsters, tag is back and it’s about damn time.

‘...[A] committee of administrators and teachers has devised a plan to reinstate the game. After a week of "reorientation lessons on playground safety" in physical education classes, classroom discussions of safe recess behavior and monitoring by teachers on the blacktop, students are likely to be yelling "You're it!" by tomorrow.

The plan was detailed in an e-mail to parents last Thursday. The Safety and Discipline Committee was to meet last night, and a round of class meetings was planned for this morning to make sure students understand safety rules before a final decision is made. But Hooker said in the e-mail that she anticipates a "full recess schedule of activities should be able to resume by Friday . . . in honor of the national Playground Safety Week." (Post)

Tired of her sojourn in public derision hell, Principal Hooker isn’t answering her phone. I don’t blame her, the less heard from this wench, the better.

Ivory Tower Double Standards
Source: The Denver Post [04/12/08]

It’s called "The Monthly Rag" and this bastion of free speech is perpetrated by the womyn who infest the feminist and gender studies department at Colorado College in Colorado Springs. The fun hit high gear when a pair of dastardly oppressors bagged a copy of this NO-NAD screed and decided to serve up a suitable response:

Chris Robinson and another student at the Colorado Springs institution decided to print "The Monthly Bag" after seeing copies of a feminist and gender studies newsletter, "The Monthly Rag," in restrooms around campus.

The edition of "The Monthly Rag" that prompted action included an announcement for a talk on feminist pornography, information on gender-bending practices, and a tidbit about a myth involving male castration. According to Robinson, it was representative of what appears every month. In response, Robinson and a friend created their flier, which provided tips on chainsaw etiquette, detailed a sexual position from Men's Health magazine and provided trivia about a sniper rifle — what Robinson called information for the stereotypical macho man. (Denver Post)

Panties wadded in record time, prompting the Ivory Tower staff to impound all copies of "The Monthly Bag". With their eyes spinning in opposite directions, alarmed Eggheads began spewing insane drivel:

"It was a serious concern that this thing was posted anonymously and included in bold print the performance characteristics of a sniper rifle," president Richard Celeste said. "I had to take that as a threat."

The authors appeared before a conduct committee in March and were found guilty of violating the campus conduct code. In lieu of punishment, they were ordered to host a public forum on the issues raised in the incident. A letter from Mike Edmonds, vice president for student life at Colorado College, to Robinson on March 25 called the problem "the juxtaposition of weaponry and sexuality." (Post)

Needing to get their story out, the oppressors took their story to FIRE (Foundation for Individual Rights in Education), where a rational adult finally stated the obvious:

"We quickly determined this was one of the worst cases of the year," said Adam Kissel, director of FIRE, because the parody publication was singled out. "It's such an obvious double standard. The fact that 'The Monthly Rag' mentions male castration alongside an announcement for a feminist porn activist provides the same juxtaposition they're claiming for Robinson of violence and sexuality." (Post)

In the end, the NO-NADS emerge unscathed. The oppressors were hounded and vilified by the Ivory Tower’s kangaroo court for exercising their free speech on campus. The NO-NADS who perpetrated a similar "juxtaposition of weaponry and sexuality" were given a free pass and allowed to keep on doing it. The double standard is alive and well at America’s Ivory Towers. Unhappily, the same can’t be said for free speech, which is on life support from sea to shining sea.

Dissing the Day of Silence
Source: Tampa Bay 10 [04/07/08]

Brian Blair, County Commissioner in Hillsborough County (Flori-DUH), is doing more than grit his teeth about a GLAAD BAAG speed bump on the school calendar, the "Day of Silence". Brian has declared war on the "Day of Silence".

For those who aren’t up to speed on their GLAAD BAAG feast days, here are the fun facts, as presented by Tampa Bay 10:

The "Day of Silence" is an annual event created by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network to bring attention to name-calling, bullying and harassment of gay students. On April 25th some students will wear buttons or t-shirts to to observe the day. Others may even put tape over their mouths.

Brian is taking dead aim at the "Day of Silence" with an e-mail he is aiming at parents. Tampa Bay 10 shares these excerpts from this cyberspace shot across the GLAAD BAAG’s bows:

"I have always believed that all citizens are equal and should be treated accordingly. On the other hand, no group of citizens should be given government sanction and support to promote their social and sexual agenda upon the rest of us and especially, on our children."

"Considering the fact that the same school system does not want to allow just one Minute of Silence in the classroom for God, this is preposterous."

"Can you imagine asking for a 'Day of Cheer for Heterosexuality?' If no action is taken to change this policy, then perhaps it is time for another surgical strike from the majority; 'A Day of Abstention' from school participation might be considered."

Sooner or later, there’s going to be some GLAAD BAAG blowback over Brian’s antics. When that happens, we’ll update you with all the thrilling details.

Adventures in Zero Tolerance
Source: PIG News Wire [04/04/08]

South Carolina
Six-year-old Malory Pinkney, II, is living proof that ‘kids say the darndest things’. I happen to like that in a tyke, but that opinion isn’t shared by the Educrats who run the Skyland Elementary cess-school in Greer (South Carolina):

Charlene and Malory Pinkney, of Greer, said their son, Malory Pinkney II, came home from Skyland Elementary in tears on Tuesday. The Pinkneys said that Malory was given a referral because a teacher filed a complaint about remarks she said that Malory had made about her to another kindergarten teacher.

The parents said the principal told them that the offensive remarks included saying the teacher was "a hottie," asking if teachers “sleep together,” and saying that a classmate of his liked looking at the teacher's "butt."

The Pickneys said the teachers were taking the complaints about Malory's comments directly to the principal. They said their concern is that the referral could become a part of Malory's school record.

"Why are they trying to implicate my son as being a sexual pervert?" The boy's father said. "If he says anything between now and the end of the school year, this thing will scar him for the rest of his life." (WYFF4)

I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t think these ‘did you hear what he said’ chickens are coming home to roost at the Pinkney residence. Why? Papa Pinkney is pastor of Holy Ground Full Gospel Ministries. WYFF4 calls it a ‘home church’, and says that Papa only got that ball rolling last November. In his spare time, he ‘works with a counseling program for inmates’. When I read between the lines, I don’t see anything wrong in the Pinkney household.

If young Malory has an egregiously colorful style of expression, isn’t it his school’s assigned task to, uh, civilize his command of the English language? They won’t get that done by pinning a ‘pervert’ label on this tyke.

Flori-DUH
An avid athlete who perpetrates basketball, soccer and track, Amber Elalem took it in stride when a doctor diagnosed her with a strained ligament. After fitting Amber with a brace called an immobilizer, the doctor put Amber on crutches, then ordered her not to put weight on the knee until the injury was fully healed. A cooperative patient, Amber did her best to comply. Unhappily, the Educrats at Walker Middle School in Odessa (Flori-DUH) had their own ideas on a proper cure.

It started going horribly wrong for Amber when she returned to school. She did a header into an icon of Zero Tolerance when she encountered the school’s licensed practical nurse, Denise McKee. Before she could shout ZOMBIE, Amber was condemned to a horrific region of Zero Tolerance Zombie hell:

On Feb. 6, when Amber returned to school, McKee phoned Patricia Elalem asking for a doctor's note for the crutches, Elalem said. Elalem said she didn't know the note was required but phoned the hospital to have a doctor fax a note to the school. The school fax machine wasn't working, so McKee never received the note, (Amber’s attorney Tom) Parnell said. That morning, McKee took away Amber's crutches, Parnell said.

"She didn't give her access to the elevator. So Amber was forced to walk up and down the stairs until about 1:30 p.m., when she couldn't take the pain anymore," he said.

Elalem said her daughter called her, saying, "I can't walk. Come and get me." On the way home, Amber said, "You know, the nurse took my crutches this morning and made me walk all day," Elalem recalled. "I got home, took her immobilizer off, and her kneecap was on the side of her leg," Elalem said. (Tampa Tribune)

This alleged medical professional is getting covering fire from the school district which seems to be spinning a ‘just a misunderstanding’ excuse. They freely admit that there isn't a requirement for a note when a student arrives on crutches anywhere in district policy. But, the district’s top health nitwit did send around an e-mail telling school officials that they must get a note whenever a student arrived on crutches. Blah, blah, blah. As deluded and defensive as they are, nobody in the school district is willing to side with Denise McKee’s antics when she impounded Amber’s crutches and made her walk.

In a perfect world, Amber would be issued a baseball bat and allowed to slam it into Denise McKee’s knee. Let that bitch try walking with a damaged knee and she might get the big picture. Since that’s not an option, Amber got lawyered up and is suing the socks off the Educrats who did their level best to destroy her athletic career.

Zero Tolerance, Mexas Style
Source: San Antonio Express-News [03/26/08]

Glass half full readers - you know who you are - will applaud New Braunfels Middle School’s principal, John Burks, for taking his school’s academic performance so seriously. Rational adults will wonder what the hell was John Burks smoking when he threatened to kill his science teachers if the forthcoming Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) tests are in the crapper.

A teacher at the school, Anne White, was so alarmed she filed a police report, afterwards. The Express-News quotes Anne, as follows:

She said Burks was angry that scores on benchmark tests were not better, and the scores on the upcoming Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills tests must show improvement.

"He said if the TAKS scores were not as expected he would kill the teachers," White said. "He said 'I will kill you all and kill myself.' He finished the meeting that way and we were in shock. Obviously, we talked about it among ourselves. He just threatened our lives. After he threatened to kill us, he said, 'You don't know how ruthless I can be.'

"We walked out of the meeting just totally dumbfounded because it was not a joke," White said.

New Braunfels Police spokesman Mike Penshorn said the incident was filed as a verbal assault, but is being investigated as a terroristic threat.

The fallout of Anne’s complaint are predictable. After 18 years at the middle school, she has been exiled to the district’s troublemaker warehouse, the so-called Learning Center. So far, none of the other 8th grade science teachers who attended the meeting are willing to talk about it, publically. John Burks is telling the district ‘suits’ that it never happened. I’m smelling a ‘nothing to see here’ coverup. How about you?

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Source: PIG’s Golden Oinks [03/21/08]

A Marina High School (Monterey County, Mexifornia) inmate, Amanda Rouse, was thrust into the spotlight, when she saved a school bus load of students from disaster. Under normal circumstances, Amanda would have been listed with our other heroes and heroines. Unhappily, these aren’t normal circumstances.

Amanda’s heroic feat deserves praise and we’re more than ready to git ‘er done:

The incident started Wednesday morning when Rouse decided to head back home rather than get off the bus at school. She asked a bus driver for a ride back to the bus maintenance yard, where she expected someone would give her a ride home. En route, the bus picked up children headed to Colton Elementary School in Monterey.

But the trip came to abrupt halt after the driver, Christine Graves, fell out of her seat as the bus was headed down Sonoma Avenue in Seaside with about 40 students. Rouse, who was sitting behind Graves, pulled the emergency brake to stop the slow-moving bus just as it hit two parked cars. Graves was transported to the hospital for treatment of neck and back pain and released. Two of the children complained of pain and were treated by their family doctors, said district officials. (The Herald)

Obviously, Amanda is a heroine. However, according to the prevailing ‘the rules are the rules’ Educrat stoneheads, Amanda was riding the bus, without proper permission, so, instead of a heroine’s welcome, she has been condemned to detention. Amanda’s header into Zero Tolerance Zombie hell reached critical mass when she started feeling puny by the time she got to school. According to the rules, she was required to report to the school, tell them she was going home, then inform her grandmother, before heading home. That all sounds spiffy, but I wonder of the parents of the 40 tykes she saved would feel better if Amanda wasn’t on that bus when she was needed?

Parting shot: To her credit, Amanda isn’t kicking up a fuss about going to "Saturday School" (detention). Her grandmother agrees and "backs the principal’s decision". That’s all well and good, but I’m still waiting for the school to ‘man up’ and honor Amanda for her heroic actions.

Islamikaze America
Source: Minneapolis Star-Tribune [03/09/08]

It’s called Tarek ibn Ziyad Academy (TIZA) and it is named for the Jihadikaze general who conquered medieval Spain. You’d think it would be located in the middle of some Islamikaze infestation, and it is, but it’s not in North Africa, the Middle East or any other Islamikaze blight on the world’s map. This taxpayer funded Islamikaze brainwashing factory is located in Inver Grove Heights, Minnesota. That’s right Minnesota.

For some damn reason, Somali Islamikazes, in significant numbers, have invaded this real winter paradise and seem determined to make it America’s first Islamikaze state. They’re off to a good start with this school which was founded by a pair of imams, plus leaders from the Muslim American Society of Minnesota (MAS-MN).

In theory, TIZA is just another K-8 charter school that caters to the resident Mecca Maniacs. Otherwise, TIZA twerps insist, it uses the same materials, teaches the same bull crap, as any other Minnesota cess-school. It’s a nice story, but it appears to be a steaming load, an assertion that’s supported by the fact that the 300-pupil school has waiting list of 1,500 eager to be brain-washed future Jihadikazes.

TIZA claims to be non-sectarian, as Minnesota law requires charters to be. But "after-school Islamic learning" takes place on weekdays in the same building under MAS-MN's auspices, according to the program for MAS-MN's 2007 convention. At that convention, a TIZA representative at the school's booth told me that students go directly to "Islamic studies" classes at 3:30, when TIZA's day ends. There, they learn "Qur'anic recitation, the Sunnah of the Prophet" and other religious subjects, he said.

TIZA's 2006 Contract Performance Review Report states that students engage in unspecified "electives" after school or do homework.

Publicly, TIZA emphasizes that it uses standard curricular materials like those found in other public schools. But when addressing Muslim audiences, school officials make the link to Islam clear. At MAS-MN's 2007 convention, for example, the program featured an advertisement for the "Muslim American Society of Minnesota," superimposed on a picture of a mosque. Under the motto "Establishing Islam in Minnesota," it asked: "Did you know that MAS-MN ... houses a full-time elementary school"? On the adjacent page was an application for TIZA. (Star Tribune)

In addition to this Jihadikaze brainwashing, there’s another, troubling, tidbit about TIZA that needs to be discussed. One of the school’s sponsors is an alleged ‘charity’ called Islamic Relief-USA. It’s promoted as an Islamikaze Red Cross, but the Israeli government has blown that bull crap out of the water and reported that Islamic Relief-USA’s parent group, Islamic Relief Worldwide, has provided "support and assistance" to the terrorist asshats in Hamas.

Are Minnesota taxpayers funding a Jihadikaze training camp for elementary school tykes? Not exactly. TIZA does, however, seem to be suffocating these young minds full of mush with their 7th century supernaturalism, instead of teaching them about the inalienable individual liberty that we venerate in the land of the not as free as we deserve to be.

Just Say No To Vitamins
Source: PIG News Wire [03/07/08]

An inmate in Pennsylvania’s South Middleton School District tried his best to follow the school’s rules of engagement, for all the good it did him. A young man who takes his physical conditioning seriously, Andrew drew up a rigorous physical training regimen. Knowing that proper nutrition is vital, Andrew included regular doses of vitamins and supplements in his physical fitness plan. He would need that healthy kick to power the weight training schedule he mapped out to keep himself fit to play soccer year round.

Painfully aware of the Zero Tolerance Zombies who infest most cess-schools, Andrew did his homework:

Andrew was aware of school rules regarding prescription medications, so before he launched the program he checked the student handbook. "He took it upon himself to look in the student manual and read the drug policy and medication policy," he said. "But he did not see vitamins or dietary supplements and in his mind thought it was okay."

On paper - including the school’s official, written, rules of engagement - Andrew’s actions were strictly street legal. Street legal or not, the ZTZ vultures swooped down on Andrew anyway and suspended Andrew for violating the school’s drug policy, by taking vitamins.

Andrew’s father, Joseph Figueiredo tried to reason with the ZTZ asshats, for all the good it did him. They wanted to add Andrew’s scalp to their collection and didn’t give a damn about those pesky ‘facts’:

At Boiling Springs High School, officials refused to hold the penalty in abeyance until a drug test could be done, Figueiredo said, so he went and had his own, which showed negative results for illegal or banned substances.

When dad showed them the test results, the ZTZ asshats changed their tune, insisting that Andrew was suspended for violating the school’s "Medications" policy, not its drug policy. Dad countered by pointing out that none of the vitamins and supplements Andrew was taking were, strictly speaking, a ‘medication’, since they were available over the counter and didn’t need a doctor’s prescription. The local ZTZ asshats refused to listen, so dad is continuing to fight to expunge this stain from Andrew’s permanent school record.

Overkill In Denver
Source: PIG’s Tasty Tidbits [03/07/08]

The headlong descent into insanity at Denver Public Schools began in January, when the district attorney nailed Skinner Middle School principal, Nicole Veltze, with a misdemeanor summons. She had, this legal eagle declared, failed to report an unlawful sexual contact. That incident reached critical mass when the wenchlet who was on the receiving end of this unlawful contact told mom, who notified the cops.

After that incident, Chief Deputy D. A. Lamar Sims, attended a training seminar with DPS principals, where he told them that reporting these sexual incidents was required. He also insisted that they err on the side of caution and over report. They got the message and the reports of sexual misconduct from DPS jumped from 142 reports a month to an impressive 252. The Rocky Mountain News shares these tidbits:

‘...[T]he City Council Safety Committee indicated that a climate of fear among DPS employees is spurring an unwarranted increase in abuse and neglect referrals. The head of Human Services indicated the agency was being overloaded, and there was concern about police resources.

"It's just getting to the point of ridiculousness where we're prosecuting kids for kissing," Councilman Doug Linkhart, who chairs the Safety Committee, said after the meeting.

Much of Wednesday's discussion involved issues of sexual harassment. Among the examples cited Wednesday was a referral to Human Services for two 5-year-olds who were kissing. In another case, one 6-year-old said to another 6-year-old, "You have a sexy booty."

There was no sanction in the case of the 6-year-old, but it remains a traumatic experience for children and their parents to be "ordered in" to Human Services, said spokeswoman Benilda Samuels...’

Two 5 year olds kiss and it’s sexual harassment? Holy crap!

Zero Tolerance Doubleheader
Source: PIG’s Golden Oinks 2008 [02/29/08]

Parma (Ohio)
The trouble started, last fall, when a 6 year old lad named Bryan Ruda arrived at the Parma Community School (a charter school near King’s castle in Cleveland) with this distinctive ‘do’. Although his Mohawk isn’t explicitly banned by the school’s rules of engagement, it does qualify, in fevered ZTZ brains, as a ‘distraction’.

At that time, school authorities warned Bryan and his mom that his ‘do’ was unacceptable. They reiterated that fetid notion a second time in the waning months of 2007, insisting that Bryan’s Mohawk does not meet the school’s expectations for "properly groomed".

Fast forward to the present and Bryan has, once again, thrilled school Principal Linda Geyer spitless when he showed up with his newly shorn hair in a Mohawk. Losing her cool over this blatant individualism from a mere 6 year old, Linda summoned Bryan’s mom to come and get him, announcing that the kindergarten student had been - TA DA - suspended until he gets with the program and shows up ‘well groomed’.

Did Bryan and his mom knuckle under? Not a chance. Bryan likes his Mohawk and momma Michelle respects his choice in the matter. Instead of playing Parma Community School’s asinine game, Michelle has decided to enroll Bryan in a school that respects the lad’s individualism.

Albany (Oregon)
Albany (Oregon) school officials were shocked, dismayed, alarmed and outraged, when a pair of hormone gorillas - Jaime Salazar (14), Marco Castro (16) - arrived at school brazenly displaying known gang symbols. Unwilling tolerate that assault on proper school decorum, school officials ordered the lads to remove those gang symbols, or hide them, so they wouldn’t alarm the other students.

Jaime Salazar got into the school officials’ face about it and was ordered to go to the office. Instead, he went home. That’s where he got the thrilling news that he’d been nailed with a 5 day suspension for "defiance and gang-related behavior". His friend, Marco Castro, didn’t fare much better. He, too, was given a suspension (3 days) for gang-related behavior.

And what, you ask, are these dastardly gang emblems that set off this ZTZ frenzy at South Albany H igh School? You’re going to be thrilled. Marco’s gang gear is "a string of milky rosary beads with a crucifix and a tiny picture of the Virgin Mary", a gift from his mother. Jaime’s gang gear is a simple, garden variety, crucifix.

"Gang symbols" some local cops and school officials bellow.

"That’s news to me", replies a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Portland, who insists that they’ve never heard of these religious symbols being used as gang attire.

File this one under, "presumed guilty" in your ZTZ archives.

Zero Tolerance, Mexifornia Style
Source: Journal-World [02/17/08]

The action-packed drama began at Grover Cleveland High School in the L.A. basin’s San Fernando Valley, when the editor of the student fishwrap went over to the dark side on ‘V’ Day. Having swilled down more than his fair share of NO-NAD Kool-Aid, the up and coming metrosexual, who serves as editor-in-chief, Richard Edmond, decided to devote the Valentine’s Day issue of the fishwrap to female nads. Eager to promote the compelling wisdom of that NO-NAD screed, ‘The Vagina Monologues’, Little Dicky, created what has become a collector’s item.

The most compelling feature of the paper was that illustration of a vagina splashed across the front page:

The drawing in question ran under the hot pink headline “Have a happy Vagina Day!” and the four-page edition included stories titled “Ending shame for nature’s gift” and “Rejected!!!!!!!”

According to Little Dicky, he was - NO-NAD Kool-Aid ALERT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL - trying to raise awareness of violence against women with a feature story on "The Vagina Monologues". Don’t look now, but I think somebody impounded Little Dicky’s nads.

Despite his Korrectnik intentions, Little Dicky’s special issue on the vagina did not thrill school officials spitless. In fact, under orders from Cleveland High School Principal Bob Marks, teachers at the school moved quickly to take the fishwrap out of circulation. That effort, although only a partial success, outraged Little Dicky. What to do?

After a flurry of overnight MySpace bulletins, he and some other students showed up at school Friday in homemade white, black and pink T-shirts reading “My vagina is obscene.” Similar fliers were taped to backpacks and posted around school. When Edmond, who describes himself as a community activist, and two other protesters refused to change their clothes, Marks sent them home. (Journal-World)

On balance, Little Dicky came through this relatively unscathed. Since Mexifornia has a ‘special law protecting [a student’s] rights to free expression in schools’, students like Little Dicky ‘can publish whatever they like, as long as the speech isn’t unlawful or "seriously disruptive"...’ That probably means that he won’t be suspended for his antics.

Despite this pagan scribbler’s views on that whining NO-NAD pestilence - ‘The Vagina Monologues’ - I salute Little Dicky for having the courage of his Korrectnik convictions. He put his views into the public arena where they can - and should - be debated. It’s called free speech, something that seems to be on life support here in the USA, thanks to people like Little Dicky’s NO-NAD mistresses. You did good, Little Dicky. Now, if you could pull your head out of your butt and get the big picture on womyn, life would be damn near perfect.

Little Dicky is a slave to the NO-NADS and that sucks. BUT, I still applaud his willingness to submit his views to the entire school for a rousing debate. I rate his womyn-venerating antics "No Harm, No Foul".

Parting shot: We’re compelled to note that one of the lads who joined in Little Dicky’s t-shirt protest is a member of Porcus’ extended family. Is he nurturing a Korrectnik viper at his bosom? We’re shocked, shocked, I tell you.

If Porcus has anything to say on this matter, it will, undoubtedly appear on Porcus’ Pitchfork.

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction
Source: PIG News Wire [02/14/08]

This kiddie tome’s title is "And Tango Makes Three". Its story about two male penguins, who raise an egg together, gave at least one southern-fried VRWC member a major case of heartburn. The Loudoun Times-Mirror spews these fetid facts:

A parent at Sugarland Elementary in Sterling raised concerns about the book within the last few months, said Wayde Byard, public information officer for Loudoun County Public Schools.

The parent filed a complaint with the principal, who reviewed the book and deemed it to be appropriate for children.

The parent then appealed that decision, and a district-level committee made up of a parent, a teacher, a school librarian and administrators reviewed the book. They ruled it was acceptable for general circulation.

Superintendent Edgar Hatrick III had final say, though, and decided to override that decision.

"Every child might not be ready for that," Byard said. "They might not be mature enough to deal with that subject matter."

As a result of these histrionics, the book has been yanked from general circulation in Loudoun County’s 11 elementary schools. It’s still available to students in the county’s middle and high school. All that must be thrilling to the Morality Nazis who are incensed by this "intrusion of the homosexual agenda" in government schools. There is, however, one final tidbit that puts this matter into perspective.

This award-winning book tells the true story of two male Chinstrap Penguins in New York's Central Park Zoo who raised an egg together. And now, you really do know, the rest of the story.

Adventures in Zero Tolerance
Source: PIG’s News Wire [02/08/08]

This week, we have a Zero Tolerance doubleheader. As thrilling as that must sound, it gets better because both epics involve unguided, identified, flying objects.

Port St. Lucie
This sorry saga involves a pair of lads who attend Oak Hammock Middle School in Port St. Lucie (Flori-DUH). This ZTZ drama started when a 12-year-old lad - henceforth Whiner - reported the dastardly facts to the campus cop. According to Whiner, another student in his class - a 13 year old whom we’ll call Flinger - pitched a chunk of broken pencil at Whiner and hit him on the head.

After interrogating other students in the class, the campus cop had all the facts he needed to have the police summoned to arrest Flinger for - TA DA - battery.

Why, you ask, did Flinger perpetrate this dastardly crime against Whiner? Flinger got tired of the other punks in his class calling him names, so he started tossing pencils, crayons and marker caps at them. When he fired that piece of pencil at one of his tormentors, the tormentor ducked and the unguided missile hit Whiner in the head.

Did Flinger deserve to be punished? Probably, but a BATTERY CHARGE? Holy Zero Tolerance Zombie overkill, Batman!

Laramie (Wyoming)
A trio of Laramie (Wyoming) wenchlets did a header into Zero Tolerance Zombie hell when they borrowed a page from Animal House and tried to initiate a food fight. Their primary error was trying to plan the event ahead of time. That gave the Educrats time to warn EVERYONE that dire consequences awaited anyone who engaged in food flinging.

Unimpressed, the trio of 13-year-olds persisted and tried to get things started, the next day, by pelting each other with french fries. Their reward for this outburst of wenchlet high spirits was a 3-day suspension PLUS a violation of the city’s code, an adult infraction called "hurling missiles".

So far, the Zero Tolerance Zombies are hanging tough, but the blowback is getting impressive, now that the ACLU has sided with our frisky teenagers. I’m betting that the school won’t back down, but the city officials probably will, eventually.

Zero Tolerance - Foreign & Domestic
Source: PIG News Wire [02/01/08]

J.O.E.
It’s called lemonade shandy and it’s claim to fame is a 0.5% alcohol content. That’s a far cry from ‘adult beverage’ and less than you get in some mouthwashes, but it was more than enough to propel a 15-year-old Brit lad, Ben Reynolds, into the Brit postal code of Zero Tolerance Zombie hell:

‘...Ben Reynolds was found drinking it in the playground, a teacher seized it from him and poured it onto the grass. He was kept in isolation for the rest of the day while the rest of his class had a science lesson. After school his mum Carol Reynolds, 33, received a call from headteacher Sally Wilson, telling her alcoholic drinks were banned and that her son was being suspended for one day...’ (Daily Mail)

Ben’s mom, Carol Reynolds, attempted to reason with the outraged headteacher of Blandford School, Sally Wilson, but that valiant effort was doomed to failure from the start. Carol discovered, the hard way, that a simple concept like ‘lemonade shandy is a soft drink’ is beyond the comprehension of a Zero Tolerance Zombie like Sally Wilson.

Parting shot: Zero Tolerance is another way of saying ‘the lights are on but nobody’s home’.

Columbia (South Carolina)
A pair of inmates in the Richland County School District Two did a header into Zero Tolerance during a ride on the school bus. While seated next to his girlfriend, a 15 year old hormone gorilla named Dominique Goyner decided to swap some spit with his main squeeze. It was, by all reports, a very affectionate kiss that lasted an estimated two minutes, but, it was just a kiss, not serious slap and tickle.

Under this cess-school system’s rules of engagement, "just a kiss" is all it takes to get both of them expelled for the rest of the academic year for "sexual misconduct. Overkill? Hell yes, but don’t try and convince these southern-fried Zero Tolerance Zombies:

"The district does not discuss disciplinary action taken against individual students because of the confidentiality rights of students. Generally speaking, incidents of this nature are investigated by the appropriate school administrators, and students are disciplined according to board policy JICDA Code of Conduct. Rules of student conduct and consequences for violations are necessary for the orderly operation of the district’s schools and buses. The district stands firmly by any decisions made by the district administration and school board in student discipline matters." (A district spokeswench as quoted by WLTX)

Expelled? For kissing? Holy crap!

Zero Tolerance At Brandeis University
Source: Newsmax [01/24/08]

For the first time in his 50-year teaching career, a Brandeis University professor, Donald Hindley, had a complaint lodged against him by a student. If you’re waiting for some hot-handed professor plays grabass with a coed action, get over it. If you’re expecting some blatantly racist, or sexist, remarks, you getting closer, but not the way you think.

It happened, while Professor Hindley was teaching his Latin American politics course. Somewhere along the line, he said something that gave one hypersensitive student in his class a boo-boo. As a result, the student lodged a complaint with the administration, after which it landed on the desks of Provost Marty Krauss and Director of Employment, Jesse Simone. That easily, it was full steam ahead on the Zero Tolerance Zombie railroad that landed Professor Hindley in ZTZ hell.

Simone interrogated Hindley on October 22, 2007, and submitted her report to Krauss the next day without giving Hindley a chance to make final comments and clarifications — a right promised in Brandeis’s policies, according to FIRE [Foundation of Individual Rights in Education].

On October 30, Simone informed Hindley that he was guilty of making “statements in class that were inappropriate, racial, and discriminatory.” Krauss threatened Hindley with termination and ordered a monitor to observe Hindley’s classroom activities until Krauss determined he was “able to conduct [himself] appropriately in the classroom.”

Making this matter a prime candidate for a steaming, Korrectnik, load, is the fact that, despite Professor Hindley’s repeated demands, Brandeis administrators flatly refuse to tell him, specifically, what he said that was deemed ‘racist’ and ‘discriminatory’. That highhanded treatment by the administration might explain why the Faculty Senate met in an emergency session and voted, unanimously, to condemn the administration’s antics.

The good news is that FIRE is on the job and demanding that Brandeis officials pull their heads out of their butts. The bad news is that Brandeis Korrectniks are hanging tough, and refusing to respond to FIRE’s accusations.

The ultimate irony here, one that puts this pathetic, Korrectnik, episode in its proper perspective, is the comment which Professor Hindley made that set off this steaming load of Korrectnik bull crap. While decrying the way that Mexican migrants to the USA are treated, Professor Hindley discussed the disparaging language that often greeted them. He then cited the word "wetbacks" as an example of this pejorative prose.

That’s right, PIGsters, he’s getting run through this Korrectnik wringer for criticizing the disparaging language aimed at Mexicans and citing one of the mildest examples. That’s off the scale Korrectness, PIGsters.

FIRE said it all with this comment about this asinine bit of zero tolerance:

“If this statement against racism was at the center of Brandeis’s investigation, this is an extreme example of suppressing academic speech by taking it out of context.”

Truer words, PIGsters...truer words.

Zero Tolerance Strikes Again
Source: PIG’s Golden Oinks 2008 [01/11/08]

The Wisconsin Educrat, elementary school art teacher, didn’t even see it coming when she wandered through the class dispensing encouragement on her young charges. According to the teacher, this encouragement involved: ‘placing a hand on the back or shoulder of a fifth-grader then giving her "a little tap on the head" as a way of saying "good job" or keep going"...’ (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel). That pat on the head was all it took to plunge the teacher into Zero Tolerance Zombie hell.

The fifth grader took that pat on the head all wrong and complained to mom that ‘her teacher hit her on the head’. That’s when the fun kicked into high gear:

‘...The mother called school administrators, who promptly looked into it. By noon the next day, before the investigation had even been completed, the mother then also called the Sheriff's Department and, said [Wausau School District Human Resources Director Jeff] Gress, "reported it as an assault and battery of a child. They thought it was something serious," he said, "and sent four squad cars" to the school...’

‘...There were three different detectives at the school, he said, plus a deputy in uniform. Because of a conflict of interest, both the Marathon County Sheriff's Department and the Marshfield Police Department got involved. At least 10 elementary school children were interviewed, none of whom saw the teacher hit anyone - and for good reason. She didn’t...’ (Journal-Sentinel)

All that over a pat on the head? Ho-ly crap! Despite the fact that nothing happened, the teacher was reassigned to another school, a transfer that was, reportedly, not contested by the teacher in question. I don’t blame her for welcoming a change of scene, after all that ZTZ bull crap.

Lowering The Bar
Source: PIG News Wire [12/28/07]

The Brit cabal tasked with monitoring the mandatory tests for school children, the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority, seems determined to lower the bar until everyone passes. Deemed a ‘watchdog’ in a Daily Mail story, the QCA spewed a report that everything would be nifty if only they could dispense with that pesky time limit for taking something called ‘Key Stage tests’.

Time limits stress the tykes out, according to the QCA. Also, if some of them are ‘slow learners’ who slipped through the cracks, they are entitled to some extra time to allow for those slow-firing synapses. The best way to make it all okey dokey would be to give kids as much time as they want/need to finish the test.

This suggestion follows another change that starts in 2009, when the longer tests are replaced by shorter tests that will be - allegedly - administered more frequently.

I wonder what the QCA would say if they saw this back in the day test that was, reportedly, given to 8th graders in Kansas:

8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, KS -1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of"lie,""play," and "run."
5. Define case; Illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time, 1.25 hours)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

Orthography (Time, one hour)
1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals .
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u.'
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)
1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete. Gives the saying "he only had an 8th grade education" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?! Also shows you how poor our education system has become... and, NO! I don't have the answers, and I failed the 8th grade test!

Now that’s pressure PIGsters.

Brit Educrats Propose Drastic Measures
Source: Daily Mail [12/26/07]

A report written by some Brit Educrats is sending shockwaves through Brit cess-schools. The report addresses such chronic problems as disruptive students and low performing schools that, repeatedly, fail dramatically when it comes to those comprehensive tests that measures a school’s ability to instill knowledge.

The proposed changes that are giving Brit Educrats heartburn, strike this pagan scribbler as ‘well duh’:

* Disruptive students must face immediate disciplinary action.

* Incompetent teachers should be fired.

One suggestion that seems interesting is a program that pays a top-performing school to take a low-performing school under its wing, to ‘show them how it should be done’. The report describes a tactic wherein the staff from the high-performing school "saturates" the low-performing school and imposes the necessary changes in those critical first days of this Educrat ‘intervention’:

"The lead school will conduct a short analysis and confront the partner school with the realities of the situation and the underlying problems that have been ducked," the report said. "They will identify staff who are in effect hardened blockers of progress and deal with them. In some cases individuals in the underperforming school will recognise that the increased expectations and pace are too much for them and leave without the need for formal procedures. But others may have to be persuaded or required to go - though the number of 'casualties' in terms of staff (and students) is often relatively small."

The researchers described the takeover process as "wiping the memory of the partner school and reprogramming it".

John Dunford, general secretary of the ASCL, said most weak teachers "jump before they are pushed. If a school is underperforming the head and the governing body have to take a tough line. That will inevitably mean that some staff have to change their approach or leave. There will always be a genuine attempt to help those who are loyal but need more support. But those who block progress inevitably have to go."

This partnering up of two schools on the opposite end of the performance spectrum is an idea worth trying. The inducement is a compelling one: ‘£120,000 and £300,000 for top schools which agree to merge with a failing school.’

Will it work? I don’t know, but it sounds like they’re headed in the right direction, which is more than I can say for America’s government cess-schools.

Getting Real in Harlem?
Source: WCBS [12/14/07]

The bovine excrement hit the rotating cooling device with a resounding &q