This is not your mommy's news page. If you're looking for a stale recital of the facts, you're in the wrong place. Doing our best to retain the essential facts, PIG nukes a story's politically-correct baggage with our legendary PIGfiltration technology. PIG's News Digest is a mixture of straight facts, and PIG enlightenment. This unique blend of reporting and commentary will inform, and, hopefully, entertain you.
PIG looks for three types of stories: news stories you want to read; news stories you need to read; news stories that are just too fun to ignore. PIG searches local, remote, mainstream, obscure, right-wing, left-wing and interstellar news sources, selecting those stories we deem PIG-worthy. Our goal is to give you a PIG's-eye view of the familiar and unfamiliar. Some stories will make you mad; others will make you laugh. Above all, they should make you think.
During your action-packed adventure in our PIG News Digest, you'll encounter numerous PIG-specific terms and phrases. You'll find our PIG Glossary an essential resource, when you need a definition for our PIG terminology. Don't panic, unlike the government school scheme, PIG enlightenment is fun. It's our distinct pleasure to welcome you to PIG's Weekly News Digest.
PIG places a supreme value on intellectual property, whether it's ours or somebody else's. That's why we always cite the original source of our news items. Any story elements we use from the originating source will be properly cited and set off with single or double quotes.
Only In Amerika
This section covers stories our crackpot editorial staff deem utterly Amerikan.
Believe it or not, some of the really fun stuff happens outside this USA. Whenever we stumble over one of these epics, we give you all the thrilling details in this section.
From time to time, our esteemed Executive Editor escapes confinement and tries to post another of his insane tantrums. If his outburst is sufficienly entertaining, it ends up here.
From speech codes and other Korrectnik crap-o-la to adventures in zero tolerance, our government cess-schools continue to bug the hell out of us. We probably should keep this stuff to ourselves, but misery loves company.
Dumb Criminals | Flat-Liners
If, like us, you can't resist reading about adventures in human stupidity, this section is made to order. From dim-witted desperados to human gene pool improvement volunteers, they're all here waiting to entertain you.
Morality Police | Holy Rollers
This section will amaze, amuse and occasionally annoy you with epics about certain true believers who strayed onto the PIG News radar.
If you're looking for PIG-worthy items on sports, media, and/or alleged entertainers, you'll find them here.
Only In Mexifornia
Like it or not - and you can bet the proverbial agriculture endeavor that you'll hate it - Mexifornia is Amerika's trend setter. Go ahead and laugh at them, now, while you can, because their Socialist hell is coming to your state, any damn minute now.
Odds and Ends
Some stories are so weird that they don't fit neatly into a particular category. Such stories end up here. Recurring features include Fark Teaser of the Week, Quotes of the Week, and Things That Go Bump.
This section includes stories about politics and Nanny State lunacy from all levels of government. When some nitwit decides to infringe on your inalienable individual liberty, PIG will eviscerate him, here.
Page One PIG Weekly Summary
We know that some of you slackers don't bother to read our incomperable prose every day, which means you might miss some of our daily features: Word of the Day, Today in History, and Today's Fun Facts. Instead of punishing you for not reading PIG every damn day, we'll post the prior week's daily entries here, every Monday, when we update the News Digest.
This section features the ignoble antics perpetrated by Ethnocrats, and assorted other properly-hyphenated pinheads. If you're looking for Korrectness on steriods, you'll probably find it here.
They died; we cried; they'll be remembered.
PIG's News archives take you on a non-stop thrill ride through our news pages from bygone years. Strolling through our archives is all the proof you need that PIG's News staff didn't get weird, yesterday.
Top Story Archives
PIG's Top Story archives let you get re-acquainted with some of the Top Stories that appeared on Page One PIG. Let us thrill you with our peerless prose while you gaze in abject awe at the graphic we used to grab your attention.
Perpetrated By: Hambo