Full of Hot Air
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [07/17/10]

I know what you’re wondering. Who is this fool? What’s his damage? What’s he doing with that blow dryer?

As usual, I have the answers.

Who is this fool?

According to ABC News, he’s a big noise in atheist circles named Edwin Kagin.

What’s his damage?

Insufficient voltage on his shock treatments.

What’s he doing with that blow dryer?

Making a complete and utter ass of himself, by performing ‘de-baptisms’.

What in blue blazes is a ‘de-baptism’?

In theory, it’s a symbolic removal of the waters doused on unwary tykes during a baptism. In practice, it’s the latest plea for attention from evangelizing atheists.

How does a de-baptism work?

ABC New spewed these secular snippets:

Standing at a podium wearing a long brown monk’s robe, Kagin read with the oratorical skill of a preacher from a set of pages in his hand and invited participants to come forward to be de-baptized.

He recited a few mock-Latin syllables, to the audience’s amusement. An assistant produced a large hairdryer, labeled “Reason and Truth,” and handed it to Kagin. The man who’d elected himself to be de-baptized stood before him. Kagin turned on the hairdryer, blowing the hot air in his face in an attempt to symbolically dry up his baptismal waters.

“Come forward now and receive the spirit of hot air that taketh away the stigma and taketh away the remnants of the stain of baptismal water,” Kagin shouts.

Atheists poke fun at baptisms in this ceremony, saying they believe their waving around a hairdryer holds the same level of magical and spiritual powers as does the baptismal ceremony.

Kagin said that many people have undergone de-baptism. "Many have taken it as somewhat of a joke, but some have found it truly, if you will, a spiritually cleansing experience,” he said.

Kagin has said he doesn’t particularly care who he’s offending with his actions, and that he is acting completely within his rights. “You can mock anything you want because you have the right to,” he said. “Humor is humor and what types of humor are you going to outlaw?” he said.

What, if anything, does this self-defined ‘pagan’ think of this crap?

I don’t. His antics don’t offend me. His antics don’t interest me. His antics don’t amuse me. His antics do, however, bore me.

 

Another Day, Another Death Threat
Source: Steaming Loads [07/16/10]

Those paragons of alleged virtue, the Jihadikazes, want Molly "Everyone Draw Muhammad Day" Norris dead.

Molly Norris? If you’re drawing a blank, don’t sweat the small stuff. Molly Norris is the American cartoonist who initiated a properly-PIGish endeavor - "Everyone Draw Muhammad Day" - then backed away from it, when it reached critical mass in cyberspace. Her initial impulse, protesting the censorship of "South Park" got too big, too mean spirited, for her, so she disowned it. Despite her change of heart, "Everyone Draw Muhammad Day" took place without her, when creative sovereign individuals, around the world, deployed their Muhammad-themed artwork.

Fast forward to the present, and a steaming pile of Jihadikaze shit - Mecca Maniac cleric, Anwar al-Awlaki - pinned a holy hit on Molly, for the key role she played in "Everyone Draw Muhammad Day":

‘...Anwar al-Awlaki, an American-Yemeni Muslim cleric, has called for the assassination of Molly Norris, the American cartoonist who started "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day."

The New York Daily News reports that the FBI considers the hit list a "very serious threat" and that al-Awlaki is thought to be connected to the Times Square bomb plot and the would-be Christmas Day bomber...’

‘...[T]he call for Norris' execution -- along with "others who participated in her campaign" and "any Western target" -- has taken the controversy to a new and dangerous level.

"The proper solution to this growing campaign of defamation" is "the execution of those involved," al-Awlaki said, according to Agence France-Presse.

Norris called the event off in May, apologized to Muslims and said the movement had spun out of control and become offensive. "The vitriol this 'day' has brought out of people who only want to draw obscene images is offensive to Muslims who did nothing to endanger our right to expression in the first place," Norris wrote on her website. "I apologize to people of Muslim faith and ask that this 'day' be called off."

But that apology seems to have fallen on deaf ears. The hit list, published in Inspire, an al-Qaida-sponsored online magazine geared toward recruiting young American Muslims to violent jihad, is not likely to be an idle threat...’ (AOL News)

Where are those mythical ‘moderate’ Islamikazes? Where is all the Islamikaze ‘tolerance’ when we need it? It’s time to cut the crap. It’s time to forcibly evict this vile, murderous, liberty-threatening, flavor of supernaturalism from our misery. We can start by sending this al-Awlaki piece of shit to the hell he deserves.

National Aeronautics & Supernaturalism Administration
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [07/06/10]

When THE ONE picked Charles Bolden as his new NASA Administrator, Messiah Barry gave Chucky Bolden some amazing marching orders. For that stop the presses tidbit, I’ll let Fox News do the honors:

Though international diplomacy would seem well outside NASA's orbit, Bolden said in an interview with Al Jazeera that strengthening those ties was among the top tasks President Obama assigned him. He said better interaction with the Muslim world would ultimately advance space travel.

"When I became the NASA administrator -- or before I became the NASA administrator -- he charged me with three things. One was he wanted me to help re-inspire children to want to get into science and math, he wanted me to expand our international relationships, and third, and perhaps foremost, he wanted me to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science ... and math and engineering," Bolden said in the interview.

Silly me, I had the foolish notion that NASA’s primary function involved unraveling the universe’s prevailing rules of engagement. Somehow, in Barry Zip Code of the Twilight Zone, kissing the ass of 7th century Islamikaze supernaturalists will reveal all of objective reality's secrets, thanks to that cutting edge Islamikaze technology. Who knows, under this new program, the Islamikazes might make a great scientific leap forward to - TA DA - the 8th century.

This just in! Messiah Barry just set a new distance record while shoving his head up his ass.

Tennessee Islamikazes’ Jihad Against Free Speech
Source: Girlieman of the Week [07/02/10]

It’s called ‘The Rutherford Reader’, a free fishwrap that is deployed at news stands in Rutherford County (Tennessee). Its primary ‘sin’ is that, in addition to dispensing news relating to the local community, ‘The Rutherford Reader’ also dispenses doses of opinion piece reality, from a VRWC perspective.

Somewhere along the line, ‘The Rutherford Read’ got too real about Islamikazes, a fun fact which made the suits running Rutherford County’s Kroger outlets banish the fishwrap from their stores.

The Rutherford Reader is found all around the county, but not in Kroger grocery stores. The papers' publisher said all the fuss is simply a result of political correctness gone too far.

Pete Doughtie never set out to be a political or religious lightening rod. The co-owner and publisher of the "Rutherford Reader" said he simply wanted to create a weekly paper focused on the community. Now, the paper and Doughtie are embroiled in controversy.

"It was a total surprise to us," said Doughtie.

The free paper was recently pulled from the racks of all the county's Kroger grocery stores as well as the local chamber of commerce.

"I just think it's political correctness for the most part," Doughtie told NewsChannel 5.

The issues stem from content. Complaints were made regarding articles on Islam.

"If you run anything that is the truth, and they don't like it then you're a racist or a bigot. I've never been called that until now," said Doughtie.

Several local businesses agreed the columns amounted to "hate speech". Doughtie said that's not true.

"Nobody has zeroed in on a particular issue or article that they've given to me that justifies what they're calling hate speech and to throw us out of any place," said Doughtie. (News Channel 5)

For pinning a ‘hate speech’ label on hard-hitting opinion pieces about Mecca Maniac...for groveling at the feet of perpetually outraged Islamikazes...for subordinating free speech to political correctness...for being gutless wonders, the suits running Rutherford County’s Krogers are the Politically Incorrect Gazette’s Girliepunks of the Week.

Parting shot: This PIGish bitch-slap is also conferred on all the Rutherford County capitalists who joined the Islamikaze Jihad against free speech.

Fiddling In Missouri
Source: PIG News Wire [06/25/10]

With the Show Me State a paragon of Edenesque splendor, Missouri’s Elephant Clan controlled legislature just painted an Elected Tormentor bull’s-eye on the only thing that keeps their state from heaven on Earth perfection. Faster than a warp speed g-string, the pachyderm punks passed Draconian new restrictions on Missouri’s booty shaker parlors. The only thing preventing the smugly sanctimonious Morality Nazi Legicrats from deploying a ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner is Demoncrat Governor, Jay Nixon, who hasn’t affixed his signature to the bill, yet.

Spouting the usual claptrap about booty shaker parlors demeaning women, promoting prostitution and promoting other forms of crime, the prime mover, State Senator Matt Bartle, views this bill as the fast track to victory in a battle that he has waged for nearly a decade. Here’s what he has perpetrated, as reported by the Wall Street Journal:

Missouri's adult-entertainment law would

* Prohibit nudity at all times.

* Restrict seminudity to stage areas at least six feet away from patrons.

* Prohibit seminude employees from touching patrons or their clothing.

* Require adult entertainment clubs to close at midnight.

* Ban alcohol from the clubs.

* Require areas of adult video stores to be visible from the counter, except rest rooms.

* Ban new clubs or video stored from being located within 1,000 feet of schools, churches, parks or homes.

State Senator Bartle’s bill will also deal a potentially mortal wound to an industry which employs 3,000 citizens of Missouri and forks over $4.5 million dollars in state sales taxes. What the hell, it’s only money and State Senator Bartle has souls to save.

Tolerance On Parade
Source: Fox [06/17/10]

It was business as usual, for a while, when a Tennessee Toll Booth - Bellevue Baptist Church in Cordova (Tennessee, DUH) - put the finishing touches on their summer softball league. That all changed, when the Toll Booth’s recreation minister,Scotty Shows, found out that the coach of one team - Jana Jacobson - is, GASP, a Y-Naut. Faster than you can say ‘get thee hence, sinner’, Jana and her team were unceremoniously banned from competing in the league. Am I the only one who didn’t know softball is a Baptist sacrament? Apparently, but I’m a fast learner.

Jana is, understandably, upset, and I don’t blame her.

Jacobson noted that the league rules included: no alcohol, smoking or cursing and no offensive terms on uniforms. Jacobson didn’t recall any mention of a morality clause.

"Finally, in my frustration, I said that I am going to be clear. I am gay, and I find all of this to be absurd and against the word of God as I know it," Jacobson told the Commercial Appeal. (Fox)

I might ‘get’ this, if Jana was the coach for, or a player on, the Bellevue Baptist softball team. Since she’s not, I’m compelled to ask a the relevant question. What happened to ‘hate the sin, love the sinner’? The last time I checked lesbianism isn’t like the dreaded cooties, and it’s not contagious. If lesbianism is the express lane to hell, that’s between the woman in question, and Old Ka-Boom. All Bellevue Baptist managed to do is justify all the vile things rampaging secularists say about the Cross Cultists. Smooth move Holy Roller Einstein.

HE’s Back?
Source: Yahoo News [06/06/10]

According to a news headline, HE is back. If HE intended to keep a low profile, while HE prepares for the forthcoming, long awaited, battle with Satan and his minions, why was HE wandering naked, on Interstate 95 in Darien (Connecticut)? Finally, if HE is back, and HE wants us to know it, there must be a more ‘blessed’ way to do it, than THIS:

Police said a naked man yelling that he was 'Jesus' was the catalyst for a five-vehicle accident on Interstate 95 North in Darien that injured three people and slowed traffic for nearly six hours. Police Sgt. Jeremiah Marron said officers responded to reports Saturday that a nude male was causing a disturbance on I-95. As police arrived, the man got into a car but police were able to pull the vehicle over.

Police said a tractor-trailer driver then slammed on the brakes to avoid another driver distracted by the highway commotion. The big rig jackknifed, careened into four cars and flipped over. Rescue workers extricated the driver of the tractor-trailer.

The naked man's name was not released. It was not immediately known if he was charged. (Yahoo News)

I’m hoping this is a case of mistaken identity. I’d hate to think that PIG’s Professor of Piety, PIGster J, didn’t give us a head’s up on the fun fact that HE is BACK.

Dress Code
Source: PIG News Wire [06/01/10]

If you’re looking for signs of inalienable individual liberty in far-flung places, you can cross Indonesia’s Aceh province off your list of places to look. Liberty, such as it was, is being systematically snuffed out by the Mecca Maniacs who have a choke hold on this part of Indonesia.

As usual, the so-called ‘men’ running this outpost of 7th century supernaturalism, are blaming women for the notorious lack of impulse control among Islamikaze males. Instead of picking on women, why don’t these testosterone poisoned pinheads nip the problem in the bud? They need to cut to the chase, by lopping off the nads of every female phobic Islamikaze male in the province, but that’s not as much ‘fun’ as imposing a dress code on the women in Aceh.

Authorities in a devoutly Islamic district of Indonesia's Aceh province have distributed 20,000 long skirts and prohibited shops from selling tight dresses as a regulation banning Muslim women from wearing revealing clothing took effect Thursday.

The long skirts are to be given to Muslim women caught violating the dress code during a two-month campaign to enforce the regulation, said Ramli Mansur, head of West Aceh district. Islamic police will determine whether a woman's clothing violates the dress code, he said.

During raids Thursday, Islamic police caught 18 women traveling on motorbikes who were wearing traditional headscarves but were also dressed in jeans. Each woman was given a long skirt and her pants were confiscated. They were released from police custody after giving their identities and receiving advice from Islamic preachers.

"I am not wearing sexy outfits, but they caught me like a terrorist only because of my jeans," said Imma, a 40-year-old housewife who uses only one name. She argued that wearing jeans is more comfortable when she travels by motorbike. (MyWay News)

Aceh’s women, and their style of dress, aren’t the real problem. The real problem is that Mecca Maniac males can’t and/or won’t control their own sexual impulses. I think it’s time to neuter every damn one of them.

The Ground Zero Mosque
Source: Steaming Loads [05/21/10]

Determined to insult America in general, and the victims of the September 11, 2001 Jihadikaze assault on America, in particular, Jihadikaze assholes plan to build a 13-story Mecca Maniac mosque within spitting distance of the gaping wound in the heart of New York City. If this 100 million dollar obscenity doesn’t make your blood boil, you’re not paying attention, but one more factoid will get ‘er done: ‘...The opening date shall live in infamy: Sept. 11, 2011. The 10th anniversary of the day a hole was punched in the city's heart...’ (New York Post).

I don’t give a flaming crap how the home-grown Jihadikazes try to sugarcoat this, it’s nothing more than a blatant ‘f**k you’ to the victims of the September 11, 2001 attacks. It’s a blatant ‘f**k you’ to every American who has vowed to ‘never forgive, never forget’ that September day which will live in infamy.

How the devil did this happen?

Plans to bring what one critic calls a "monster mosque" to the site of the old Burlington Coat Factory building, at a cost expected to top $100 million, moved along for months without a peep. All of a sudden, even members of the community board that stupidly green-lighted the mosque this month are tearing their hair out.

Paul Sipos, member of Community Board 1, said a mosque is a fine idea -- someplace else.

"If the Japanese decided to open a cultural center across from Pearl Harbor, that would be insensitive," Sipos told me. "If the Germans opened a Bach choral society across from Auschwitz, even after all these years, that would be an insensitive setting. I have absolutely nothing against Islam. I just think: Why there?"

Why, indeed.

A rally against the mosque is planned for June 6, D-Day, by the human-rights group Stop Islamicization of America. Executive director Pamela Geller said, "What could be more insulting and humiliating than a monster mosque in the shadow of the World Trade Center buildings that were brought down by an Islamic jihad attack? Any decent American, Muslim or otherwise, wouldn't dream of such an insult. It's a stab in the eye of America." (New York Post)

We the People need to let the perpetrators of this insult - the American Society for Muslim Advancement - know what they can do with their f**king mosque. We the People need to flush this titanic Ground Zero mosque turd out of our misery, by any, and ALL, means at our disposal. When it comes to this kind of infuriating bullshit, We the People are ALL New Yorkers.

Boob Quake Butthead Update
Source: ABC [05/14/10]

Shrugging off the slings, arrows, brickbats and outright derision which ensued from his headline grabbing ‘loose women who flaunt their babely stuff stuff cause earthquakes’ antics, PIG’s favorite Iranian cleric, Kazem Sedighi, is back for more. Unwilling to back down, he’s serving up more of the same.

In Tehran's main weekly prayer sermon on Friday, he defended the claim but added some further explanation on why some places are hit more than others.

"Some ask why (more) earthquakes and storms don't occur in the Western world, which suffers from the slime of homosexuality, the slime of promiscuity and has plunged up to the neck" in immorality, he said.

"Who says they don't occur? Storms take place in the U.S. and other parts of the world. We don't say committing sin is the entire reason but it's one of the reasons," he said.

But, he said, "sometimes, God tests a nation. ... (God says) if believers sin, We slap them because We love them and give them calamity in order to stop their bad deeds."

"And those who have provoked God's wrath, He allows them (to commit sins) so that they go to the bottom of hell," Sedighi said. (ABC)

I think Kazem is onto something, with this smiting via earthquakes theory. Admittedly, America - he’d call us the Great Satan - is, in his fevered brain, ‘begging for it’. Given that, why hasn’t his deity hit Uncle Sam with his best shot? Why not? I think Kazem and his home boys are looking for the wrong kind of deity induced earthquake. The ground might not have opened up and swallowed America, but we did get hit with the BIG ONE, in 2008. We the People had our inalienable liberty swallowed up by a political earthquake of unprecedented magnitude when Messiah Barry transformed the White House into the Red Shed.

Self-Appointed Censor
Source: Orlando Sentinel [05/06/10]

In 2008, a Flori-DUH Morality Nazi, Tina Harden, had decency dementia hissy fit in the Seminole County's Northwest Branch library in Lake Mary. Her righteous indignation reached critical mass, when she scanned through her 13 year old daughter’s selections. They included several books from the Gossip Girl series which spotlight the sex, drugs, and profanity-filled world of a fictional teenager named Jenny Humphrey.

Did Tina order her baby girl to return the ‘offensive’ books to the library shelves, then lodge a complaint with the library? Not exactly. She checked them out and steadfastly refuses to give them back.

Longwood parent Tina Harden was so disturbed by references to sex and drugs and foul language in the world of fictional teenager Jenny Humphrey that she is ignoring overdue notices and phone calls from her neighborhood library and its bill collector.

Harden refuses to return several books connected to the Gossip Girl series that detail Humphrey's life, even though she's had them since 2008.

"If I turn them in, they will be put back into circulation and they'll be available for more young girls to read," said the mother of three, who keeps the four books hidden in a closet. "Some material is inappropriate for minors."

Harden said she doesn't want them banned, but she does want the library to put a warning label on the four titles — one in the Gossip Girl series by Cecily von Ziegesar, and three in a spin-off series called It Girl — and make them unavailable to minors. The library refused but has agreed to re-shelve them in the adult-reading section.

"If we denied access to this particular title, it would be censoring," said Jane Peterson, the county's library services manager.

That's not good enough for Harden, who said that as a taxpayer she should have a say in which books land on the libraries' shelves. "They're supposed to be public servants," she said.

The libraries have multiple copies of the novels in the series. If her library privileges hadn't been revoked, Harden said she would try to check them all out She owes about $85 in fines. (Orlando Sentinel)

Instead of leaving such matters - age appropriate reading material - in the hands of Little Johnny and Moonbeam’s parents, Morality Nazi Tina demands that she, and she alone, make such choices for everyone’s offspring. Their choice of reading material must, she thunders, be severely restricted by TINA’S Morality Nazi hypersensitivity. It’s such a LIMITED reading list, it will all fit in the world’s smallest bookcase.

Rabid Moonbat
Source: London Telegraph [04/28/10]

I’m pleased to announce that our Rabid Moonbat Award has gone international, and not a moment too soon.

Rabid Moonbat: Brig Hossien Sajedinia, Tehran's (Iran, DUH) police chief

Magic Moonbat Moment: Unwilling to let an Imam who pinned the blame for earth quakes on - GASP - cleavage, steal his moonbat thunder, our winner announced a crackdown on women who violate the spirit of Islamikaze laws by getting - GASP, SHUDDER, CRINGE, WHIMPER - a suntan.

"The public expects us to act firmly and swiftly if we see any social misbehaviour by women, and men, who defy our Islamic values. In some areas of north Tehran we can see many suntanned women and young girls who look like walking mannequins. We are not going to tolerate this situation and will first warn those found in this manner and then arrest and imprison them."

Holy Roller Heartburn Twofer
Source: PIG News Wire [04/23/10]

Ivory Tower Bans a Cross Cult Group
From sea to shining sea, Cross Cultists are setting their hair on fire, after the University of California's Hastings College of the Law refused to give its seal of approval to the Christian Legal Society. Unwilling to take ‘no’ for an answer, the group took the school to court for infringing its constitutional freedoms of speech, religion, and association.

The group has made this argument at several universities around the nation with mixed results. The high court's decision could set a national standard for universities and colleges to follow when Christian and other groups that want to exclude certain people apply for money and recognition from the school.

Hastings said it turned the Christian Legal Society down because all recognized campus groups, which are eligible for financing and other benefits, may not exclude people due to religious belief, sexual orientation and other reasons.

The Christian group requires that voting members sign a statement of faith. The group also regards "unrepentant participation in or advocacy of a sexually immoral lifestyle" as being inconsistent with the statement of faith. (Fox)

Hastings’ rules of engagement apply equally to all comers, no matter who is seeking the ‘financing and other benefits’ which come with official recognition. In this case, the Ivory Tower seems to be saying ‘you can say what you want, believe what you want, and exclude whomever you want, but you can’t do it on our (Mexifornia taxpayers) dime’. Free speech means that I can’t use force to silence you. It does not mean that I am compelled to give you a microphone and provide you with a forum, at MY expense.

Franklin Graham Banned from Speaking at Pentagon on National Prayer Day
If you’ve listened to Franklin Graham castigating Islamikazes for their treatment of women, you’ll understand why Islamikazes went ballistic over this invite. A man who refuses to pull his punches, a man who won’t back down, is the last thing they’ll tolerate, especially in this era of the appeaser-in-chief.

I heard John Gibson discussing it, on Friday’s radio show, and I came away favorably impressed with Franklin Graham. Franklin didn't soften his views on iota, when he laid into Islamikazes, especially their treatment of women. Franklin is right, in what he says, so I respect the fact that he's not backing down from his original statement. I give him high marks for 'courageously standing behind his convictions'.

"I love the people of Islam but their religion, I do not agree with their religion at all," [Graham] told Fox News. "And if you look at what the religion does just to women, women alone, it is just horrid. And so yes, I speak out for women. I speak out for people that live under Islam, that are enslaved by Islam and I want them to know that they can be free."

I'm not convinced that his views are what the Nanny State had in mind when they created the National Day of Prayer. This speed bump on the American calendar is, as far as I can tell, a 'generic' shout out to the god (gods) of your choice. In that context, a man with non-negotiable convictions like Franklin Graham might not be bland enough to make the 'let's invite him' cut.

Parting shot: One news report had Franklin’s critics spouting drivel that ‘letting him speak at the Pentagon’s Day of Prayer confab might piss off Jihadikazes’. I have a hot flash for CAIR, and other Jihadikaze-coddling weasels. Pissing off Islamists is not exactly Mission Impossible. As far as I can tell, Islamikazes are BORN pissed off.

Theological Discussion Goes WWE
Source: Golden Oinks [04/16/10]

This week, we’re honored to share a compelling, hard-hitting, theological debate with you. On one side, we have Father John Parnell - he’s a priest at the St. Augustine Mexican Catholic Church in Fort Worth (Mexas). On the opposite side of this theological divide, we have those legendary holy hucksters, the Jehovah’s Witness.

If you’re envisioning something polite, highbrow, and a possible cure for insomnia, get over it. In this case, the exchange of views was strong on pugilism and short on piety. Father John insists that his uninvited, Jehovah’s Witness, visitors started it.

The Jehovah's Witness has accused Father John Parnell, a priest at the St. Augustine Mexican Catholic Church in Fort Worth, of assaulting him after he knocked on Parnell's door. However, Parnell said it was he who was attacked.

"So, the man comes in and tells my daughter right off, he says, 'You are going to be burned into the eternal fires of Gehenna if you don't listen to what I say,'" Parnell said.

The priest said that was the match that lit the fuse. He said he is tired of Jehovah's Witnesses coming into the St. Augustine church, which is not affiliated with the Fort Worth Diocese.

He said Jehovah's Witnesses came into the church on Easter Sunday during Mass.

"They walked right in and started handing out literature while people are sitting on the pews," Parnell said.

When Jehovah's Witnesses recently came to his door, Parnell said he attempted to escort them out after one of the men allegedly knocked his Bible to the floor.

"He said, 'This place is teaching lies and I am here to bring you the truth,'" he said.

Parnell said the men then dragged him down the street and beat him. (WFAA)

Harry Dwinell, who witnessed the pleasantries, tells a somewhat different story. He insists that, Father John punctuated the exchange of views with a ‘haymaker that came out of left field’. That’s when this theological exchange devolved into a brawl.

You might be interested to learn that the proper authorities consider Father John ‘a suspect in the altercation’. Personally, this pagan scribbler is amused, in the extreme, that Father John punched a Jehovah’s Witness doorbell ringer’s lights out. ‘Gimme that old time religion...’

Cheesehead Sex-Ed Panty Twister
Source: News Max [04/09/10]

The fun started, in February, when Demoncrat Governor Jim Doyle signed a law requiring schools that teach sexual education to adopt a comprehensive approach. Among other things, it put him on a collision course with Juneau County District Attorney Scott Southworth. After the new law was enacted, Scott thrilled cess schools is his area with a letter which warned that ‘health teachers who tell students how to put on a condom or take birth-control pills could face criminal charges.’

Southworth warned that teaching a student how to properly use contraceptives would be contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanor punishable by up to nine months behind bars and a $10,000 fine. He said it would be promoting sex among minors who are not legally allowed to have sex in Wisconsin.

"It puts the school kind of in the middle between two sides, between the government and state telling us what should be taught and what people think should not be taught," said Scott Lenz, a health teacher in the New Lisbon School District. He said he would teach contraceptive use if he got the approval of his school board.

Southworth said he doesn't want to drag teachers into court but feels he was ethically responsible for warning them of the new law's potential consequences. He urged the school districts to refrain from offering sex education courses until the Legislature repeals the law. "Listen, there's a real problem with the law," he said. "I didn't pick the fight. The Legislature dumped it in my lap."

Southworth didn't cite evidence in his letter showing that teaching someone to use contraceptives makes them more likely to have sex. But in an interview Thursday, he pointed to Milwaukee Public Schools, which teach comprehensive sex ed but still struggle with high teen pregnancy rates. Sex education experts, however, caution that many factors besides education play into teen sex, such as media exposure. (News Max)

Under Wisconsin law, schools are not required to teach sex ed, but, if they do, it has to be the ‘warts and all’ sex ed that gives Cross Cult evangelical Scott Southworth a hair-incinerating rash. Some of his critics claim that Scott is using this issue to polish his social conservative credentials, to propel him higher on the political food chain. He denies it - well, duh - but I doubt that his increased name recognition has him crying in his beer.

Devilish Doings
Source: PIG News Wire [04/02/10]

An infamous, toll booth certified, demon evictor, ‘noted Italian exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth’ blames the latest Rosary True Believer pedophile scandal on - TA DA - the Devil:

Father Gabriele Amorth, commented this week that the recent defamatory reporting on Pope Benedict XVI, especially by the New York Times, was “prompted by the devil.”

Speaking to News Mediaset in Italy, the 85-year-old exorcist noted that the devil is behind “the recent attacks on Pope Benedict XVI regarding some pedophilia cases.”

“There is no doubt about it. Because he is a marvelous Pope and worthy successor to John Paul II, it is clear that the devil wants to ‘grab hold’ of him.”

Father Amorth added that in instances of sexual abuse committed by some members of the clergy, the devil “uses” priests in order to cast blame upon the entire Church: “The devil wants the death of the Church because she is the mother of all the saints. He combats the Church through the men of the Church, but he can do nothing to the Church.”

The exorcist went on to note that Satan tempts holy men, “and so we should not be surprised if priests too … fall into temptation. They also live in the world and can fall like men of the world.” (Catholic News Agency)

Supernaturalism continues to amaze and amuse this pagan scribbler. When a priest ‘falls into sin’ and goes pedophile bonkers, he’s got a ready-made excuse: "The devil made me do it." In most cases, the church - including a certain Cardinal who became the Pope - will sweep the scandal under the rug. Under the Rosary True Believer rules of engagement, all this pervert has to do is send an "Oops, my bad", heavenward, to earn the celestial equivalent of ‘shit happens’. Game, set, match.

Meltdown In Mexas
Source: PIG News Wire [03/26/10]

The eye of this supernaturalist hurricane is "Corpus Christi", a play written by Terrence McNally. A hot button, at any time of the year, this revival of it, a mere week before Easter, has Cross Cultists, from sea to shining sea, thundering in righteous indignation. I won’t swear on a stack of empty pizza boxes that this turmoil is what Tarlton State University (Stephenville, Mexas) inmate, Jordan Otte had in mind when he chose the play as his student project. Whatever his reasons are, he had to know his choice would knot holy roller knickers.

Student director Jordon’s vitals tell an interesting story. He’s 26. He’s a GLAAD BAAG. He’s a former member of the Mormon Church. He insists that he’s a practicing Christian. Does all that explain his choice of plays? I haven’t got a clue:

Saturday's production in the small town of Stephenville, Texas, features the Jesus character named Joshua kissing Judas during their prom at Pontius Pilate High School and performing a same-sex marriage for two of his disciples.

Before the ceremony, a disciple named James pauses and quotes the Old Testament Scripture: "If a man lies with a man as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them."

Joshua then responds: "Why would you memorize such a terrible passage? 'And God saw everything that He had made, and behold it was very good.' ... God loves us most when we love each other." (World Net Daily)

Steadfastly supporting Jordon’s controversial exercise in free speech, school officials are preparing for a possible confrontation with protesters. According to a Fox News posting, they’re trying to contain the crisis, by moving the start time ahead 8 hours to 8 a.m. The Ivory Tower is also bringing in 50 extra local, and state, police offers to provide security.

A school spokeswoman said it changed the performance time and boosted security to guarantee a "safe and secure environment" for the students, and it has now closed public access to the theater, which seats only 90 people. Only students and invited family members will be allowed to attend the show, which is an abbreviated version of McNally's play. (Fox)

On the off chance that somebody wants to hear his side of the story, Jordan offers up his take on the play:

The production is a class project for student-director John Jordan Otte, who said in a written statement that he chose the play to "bring people together" and help gain acceptance for gay Christians, who he said often feel alienated from their churches.

"It is being said often that this play is a direct attack on Christians — their faith and their deity. It simply is not true," wrote Otte, 26, who said he is a devout Christian.

"I am not attacking anyone in choosing this play. I want people to see and understand another side to faith. I want us all to know that unconditional love means just that -- unconditional -- and I believe tolerance is a key message in this play. None of us, not one of us, should ever feel alone or separated from God or whomever we believe in." (Fox)

By far, the most irrational response to Jordan’s class project is coming from Bud Kennedy, a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. In an outburst of super-heated prose, Bud put the outraged Cross Cultists in the same category as the Brit Jihadikazes who put out a Mecca Manica ‘hit’ on Terrence McNally, in 1999, when "Corpus Christi" premiered in London’s Pleasance Theatre:

Kennedy said the backlash against the class play "is beginning to seem like a blasphemy fatwa by the Erath County Taliban" — and as it happens, there already is a fatwa out against "Corpus Christi," which has long been condemned as blasphemous. Its inaugural run in New York in 1998 was ended abruptly by a series of bomb threats targeting the play's author, actors and venue. (Fox)

As far as I can tell, even the most outraged Cross Cultist is willing to leave the ultimate fate of Jordan and Terrence in Old Ka-Boom’s capable hands. It is, however, safe to assume that the smart holy roller money has one or both of them headed for an extra crispy hereafter.

Parting shot: If you wonder what PIG’s Professor of Piety thinks about this, wonder no more:

Can you give me any reasons for this to be done OTHER than to outrage and insult Christians and portray them as intolerant? I know the author/creator of the play goes on about how it’s supposed to preach tolerance, yadda yadda, but I call BS on that. NO ONE would do a play like that about a gay Mohammed. Therefore his story doesn’t wash, to me.

I tend to agree that the primary motive for creating and deploying this play is setting Cross Cult hair on fire. They do it because they can. Free speech is a real pisser that way. The real issue isn’t if they can, but if they should. I’m not going to question Jordan or Terrence on that score, because ‘shouldn’t’ strays dangerously close to ‘can’t’. I refuse to take any words out of anyone’s mouth.

Finally, I would like to say that the inevitable, hair incinerating, Jihadikaze aftershocks caused by a play about a gay Mohammed would be, for this pagan scribbler, highly entertaining.

Toll Booth Turmoil in Illinois
Source: Fox News [03/25/10]

This adventure in supernaturalism revolves around a 3 year old wenchlet who is the apple-cheeked product of a mixed marriage. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re warm, but off the mark. This mixed marriage involves a Rosary True Believer daddy and a Torah True Believer mother.

Kicking ‘til death do us part’ to the curb, the couple is embroiled in ‘a bitter divorce’. Predictably, under the circumstances, one bone of contention concerns baby girl’s assigned flavor of supernaturalism. At one point, the couple agreed to raise baby girl in the Jewish faith, but daddy had his own agenda.

While mom wasn’t looking, daddy - Joseph Reyes - had baby girl baptised as a Rosary True Believer. In a heartbeat, mom filed a restraining order to compel Joseph to stop exposing the wenchlet to other - non-Jewish - flavors of supernaturalism. Did Joseph cut the crap and comply? Not exactly.

When mom learned that Joseph planned to take baby girl to an Easter Mass, she nuked the idea, with the help of a judge, who ORDERED, Joseph to leave baby girl at home, when he goes to that high water mark on his supernaturalist calendar. Thanks to his antics, Joseph is also on the receiving end of a contempt charge.

Already whining about the pro-female bias of "the family court system in this country", Joseph seems to be destined for another header into the justice system, when he abducts baby girl to the ‘old country’, wherever the hell that is.

Holy CRAP!
Source: Golden Oinks [03/19/10]

After a 17 year stint in the Dallas County Sheriff’s Department, Stephen Johnson’s jail guard career hit a job-ending speed bump. A charter member of the True Believer faction of the Rabid Moonbat club, 59 year old Stephen was dumped like a bad habit on January 20, 2010, for being too real.

Too real? You better believe it, barking at the Moon, Sparky:

In October, he interrupted a private conversation among jail staff and "interjected his own opinions," telling them all gays should be annihilated, sheriff's reports show. He also said that whites were the superior race and that he supported slavery, reports show.

Johnson said the Bible supported his opinions, reports show.

He showed a co-worker an ancestry binder that he said proved his family once owned several slaves, reports said. Johnson refused to leave after co-workers told him they were offended by his comments, according to reports. (Dallas Morning News)

During the internal investigation that led to his firing, Stevie denied, in his sworn statement, that he supported slavery, despite its status as a Biblical fact. He drew a blank, when it came to saying that whitey is the superior race. He was more forthcoming on GLAAD BAAGS, and his beliefs that "they should be put to death". He’s down with that, but insists that it doesn’t make him treat GLAAD BAAGS differently.

Admittedly, the foregoing merits a ‘been there, heard worse’. I won’t argue the point, because, for Stevie boy , these are just the appetizers. So far, he’s not a valid Rabid Moonbat Award contender. That changed, in a heartbeat, when he started discussing the origin of dinosaurs.

"I believe that all dinosaurs were born of Satanic angel who has sex with woman and the animal kingdom that created ungodly reptilian creatures none of these were on the Ark," Johnson said...

The sheriff's internal affairs department concluded that Johnson persisted in giving his opinions of the Bible despite being asked to leave. "He continued making statements which included his belief that God had sex with angels, and that dinosaurs were destroyed because man had sex with them, as well as his belief that the Devil had sex with humans," the report concluded. (Morning News)

Game, set, match? You better believe it, where do I find that tidbit in my Tome, Sparky.

A Flori-DUH Morality Nazi Does What Comes Naturally
Source: Golden Oinks [03/12/10]

When it comes to using taxes and regulation to achieve his personal vision of a socially-engineered Eden, a Flori-DUH state Legicrat, Stephen Precourt, is leading the march into this Brave New World.

A Florida state senator is pushing for new legislation that would increase tax breaks for the movie industry but deny the same incentives to films featuring gay characters.

Current Florida law grants tax credits on productions considered "family friendly" -- films that omit smoking, sex, nudity or profane language. But in a bid to attract more movie production to Florida, Republican Rep. Stephen Precourt of Orlando is pushing a bill that would increase the credit and expand the field of disqualified productions as those that include any "exhibit or implied act" of nontraditional family values and gratuitous violence, the Palm Beach Post reported Tuesday. Precourt said he's not targeting the gay community but that shows with gay characters would not be something he'd want "to invest public dollars in." (Fox News)

Stevie is begging for an up close and personal Hambo encounter. Why? Several reasons. For starters, a tax credit is NOT an "investment of public dollars". In reality, a tax credit means that some Nanny State entity won’t steal you blind. It will still mug you, but it will leave you bus fare. It's THEIR money Stevie, not yours. They EARNED it. All you're doing is quibbling about how much of it you plan to STEAL.

Stevie’s supernaturalist brain fart is NOT a sound basis for setting public policy. In this land conceived in liberty, the government’s ONLY task is creating an environment where liberty thrives. When it comes to picking winners and losers, that’s the assigned, legitimate, role of the marketplace, not some Elected Tormentor Social Engineer with a personal agenda.

If Stevie is determined to save souls, and promote his personal flavor of morality, he MUST do that from the pulpit, not the state legislature, via the tax code. Shut up and sit down, Stevie. You don’t want me to come over there.

Another Day, Another Islamikaze Hissy Fit
Source: STV News [03/02/10]

The more I watch Islamikaze antics, the more convinced I am that ‘outraged’ is what passes for normal in their so-called lives. As far as I can tell, the only time they aren’t outraged, is when they’re in a coma/vegetative state, and I wouldn’t bet the camel herd on THAT.

This week’s panty-wadding meltdown revolves around a name: "Medina". For rage-a-holic Islamikazes, Medina is the second holiest city in Islam. For geography-minded Americans, it’s the name of cities in the following states: Minnesota, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Tennessee, Texas, and Washington. For world travelers ‘medina’ is a term used to denote ‘a market or bustling trading center in north African cities’. Last, but far from least, ‘Medina’ is the new name for an adult beverage emporium in Dundee, Scotland: Medina Bar and Grill.

Believe it or not, there are Mecca Maniacs in Dundee and they are not thrilled spitless with the new name for the establishment formerly known as ‘Bar Rio’.

One senior member of Dundee's Central Mosque said the use of the Medina name in a place serving alcohol was "disrespectful". Mohammed Bashir Chohan, chairman of the Dundee Islamic Society, said: "People are upset about it because Medina is a holy city in Islam. It does hurt when somebody misuses the name, especially if they are going to sell liquor."

However, on Tuesday a spokesman for Medina said there was no offence intended in the bar's new name. He said: "The designer of the bar came to us with a number of different names. Medina Bar & Grill was one of them. We asked him what it meant and he said it was the use of medina as a noun, rather than the city in Saudi Arabia.

"The bar has a Moroccan theme and, as far as we were told, medina is the hustle-bustle of an old quarter of a north African city. There was no intended link to the second holiest city of Islam, and there was absolutely no offence intended." (STV News)

I’ll set aside, with considerable difficulty, the burning question: What the f**k are Islamikazes doing in Scotland? Instead, I’ll simply state that, if Medina Bar and Grill is the biggest problem in your life, you must stop your caterwauling and GET ON WITH IT. Your INSANE hypersensitivity does NOT automatically repeal the liberty birthright of sovereign individuals, so STFU. Don’t make me come over there.

Morality Nazis On A Rampage
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [02/25/10]

Tacoma, Washington: A 19 year old barista did her best to make life thrilling for patrons of Puyallup’s Bikini Bottoms espresso stand. How? Tastefully attired in thong bottom and X-shaped pasties, she made that java jolt a visual feast for the relentlessly horny.

Predictably, some whiner got its panties in wad over our hubba hubba hottie and ran caterwauling to the proper authorities. I’m sorry to report that Pierce County injustice officials gave a provisional seal of approval to the right which prevents the egregiously hypersensitive from being offended, by charging the wench with ‘unlawful public exposure'.

‘Get over it’ is on life support, in the Great Northwest Nitwit heartland.

The Apple App Store in Cyberspace: If you’re a techno troll who is the proud owner of a hand-held terror of Apple-perpetrated technology, I might have some troubling news for you. If you like to get a cheap thrill from ogling, and/or electronically manipulating bikini clad hotties with your iPad, iPhone, etc., you’re not going to be a happy camper.

Egged on by chronically offended Morality Nazis, Apple has purged at least 5,000 - ‘overtly sexual’ - apps from their online store. Why? It’s ‘for the children’, of course.

Colorado Springs, Colorado: If you’ve never heard of a Broadway show named "Avenue Q", don’t feel like the lone ranger. All you need to know is that this popular play is wadding Holy Roller panties in Colorado Springs, because of the advertising posters deployed in the city’s bus shelters. What’s the problem? The posters for the touring company feature - GASP - cleavage. I know what you’re thinking, but it’s much more asinine than you think:

Puppet cleavage has been ruled out for advertising posters in Colorado Springs bus shelters. Lamar Advertising rejected posters for a touring production of the Broadway show "Avenue Q" because they show the cleavage of a fuzzy pink puppet.

Lamar account executive Jeff Moore says the company takes a conservative approach in Colorado Springs. The city is known for its political conservatism, and some conservative Christian groups have headquarters in the city.

The poster has been replaced by one showing the face of another puppet.

"Avenue Q" is a Tony-winning musical about twentysomething New Yorkers, both human and puppets, searching for life and love. (Yahoo News)

Puppet cleavage? Have these Holy Rollers lost their f-ing minds?

CPAC Give CAIR Cretin A Boo-Boo
Source: Girlieman of the Week [02/19/10]

A steaming Jihadikaze turd, CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations) spokesasshole Ibrahim Hooper, is not happy camper, this week. Why? Blissfully unaware of his exercise in self parody, he’s blubbering because CPAC has scheduled a panel discussion on Mecca Mania’s ‘war on free speech’, plus assorted other Jihadikaze-related issues.

A panel discussion on the threat posed by "Islamic supremacism," Shariah and political correctness has been scheduled for this week's Conservative Political Action Conference, stirring complaints from some American Muslims that the exercise amounts to Muslim-bashing.

The two-hour session, titled "Jihad: The Political Third Rail," is set for Friday morning, right in the middle of the three-day annual summit of conservative icons and activists in Washington, D.C.

Scheduled to speak are Steve Coughlin, a former Pentagon specialist on Islamic law who was fired two years ago, allegedly under pressure from pro-Muslim officials, and Wafa Sultan, an author and prominent critic of Islam. The discussion is billed as a window into Islam's "war on free speech," the "encroachment" of Shariah -- or Islamic law -- in the West and efforts by the Muslim Brotherhood to infiltrate American society. (Fox News)

If he/it had a scintilla of manhood, Ibrahim would insist on participating in the discussion of his supernaturalism’s unrelenting war on inalienable liberty. If he/it had a spine, he would exercise his free speech birthright, instead of trying to silence anyone who says things that he doesn’t want to hear. If he/it had a single functioning synapse, he’d spend quality time in the FSOP, where he might finally get up to speed on the fact that there is no right which protects him from being offended. Instead he spouts drivel like this:

"It's unfortunate that a conservative conference would be in any way associated with Muslim bashers and Islamophobes. It's a free country. They're free to be anti-Muslim bigots if they like, but it's really up to the organizers of CPAC to determine if they're going to allow their conference to be associated with the hate-filled views of those who will be speaking."

Congratulations, Ibrahim. You’re more than a caterwauling cretin. You’re the jabbering Jihadikaze shitbag poster punk.

Weasel Words In Washington, D.C.
Source: Washington Times [02/12/10]

Stoned on Mecca Mania, Jihadikazes are determined to exterminate the Great Satan, Western Culture, and inalienable individual liberty, from the face of the Earth. I know it. You know it. Our men and women in uniform know it. All rational adults know it.

There are, however, dangerously deranged asshats in positions of authority who are doing their best to ignore it. For those noxious nuggets, I’ll yield the floor to the Washington Times:

The 108-page Quadrennial Homeland Security Review, made public last week by the Department of Homeland Security, uses the term "terrorist" a total of 66 times, "al Qaeda" five times and "violent extremism" or "extremist" 14 times. It calls on the U.S. government to "actively engage communities across the United States" to "stop the spread of violent extremism."

Yet in describing terrorist threats against the United States and the ideology that motivates terrorists, the review - like its sister document from the Pentagon, the Quadrennial Defense Review - does not use the words "Islam," "Islamic" or "Islamist" a single time.

Although the homeland security official in charge of developing the review insists it was a not a deliberate decision, the document is likely to reignite a debate over terminology in the U.S.-led war against al Qaeda that has been simmering through two administrations.

"There was not an active choice" to avoid using terms derivative of Islam, Homeland Security Assistant Secretary for Policy David Heyman told reporters on a conference call. President Obama had "made it clear as we are looking at counterterrorism that our principal focus is al Qaeda and global violent extremism, and that is the terminology and language that has been articulated" by Mr. Obama and his advisers, Mr. Heyman added. He declined to use the I-word.

How in the hell does Uncle Sam win a war, when the putrid pissants in power can’t, won’t, properly identify the enemy? Osama and his Jihadikazes didn’t get some random wild hair up their ass. They got a wild ISLAMIC hair up their ass. Until Uncle Sam confronts that unambiguous fact, we’ll never exterminate this threat to our lives and liberty.

A Cacophony of Caterwauling in Colorado Springs
Source: Fox News [02/03/10]

Eager to promote supernaturalist diversity, the brass running the United State Air Force Academy, deployed an outdoor worship site for academy’s resident pagans. Essentially a circle of large boulders - a holy rock pile, if you will - its creation annoyed the crap out of certain NIMBY-minded Cross Cultists.

On January 17, 2010, someone of the Cross Cult persuasion, set off a firestorm of pagan pissing and moaning when he, she, heshe, it, or ‘they’ left a calling card at the holy rock pile: a cross constructed out of railroad ties. No harm, no foul? You must be delusional...

Tech. Sgt. Brandon Longcrier, a self-described pagan who sponsors the group that worships there, said the incident was similar to someone leaving a pentagram or a pagan symbol at the academy's chapel altar and claimed he and others are victim of a hate crime. In an e-mail to Weinstein's group, Longcrier said his group had been "thrown under the bus by the system we trusted" and that the "hate crime" has been ignored.

David Cannon, director of communications at the Air Force Academy, said the incident remains under investigation. He declined to indicate whether it could be classified as a hate crime pending completion of the probe.

Cannon said that if a cadet were behind the incident, the Air Force would have the power to prosecute. If a civilian did it, the case could be taken up by local authorities. "Until (the investigation) is over, we can't classify it as anything," Cannon told FoxNews.com, adding that it remains unclear whether cadets were involved.

In a statement issued Wednesday, Lt. Gen. Mike Gould, the Air Force Academy's superintendent, said the school will take "appropriate action" if a cadet were indeed responsible. "Our message is simple: we are taking this incident very seriously and conducting an inquiry," Gould's statement read. "We absolutely do not stand for any type of destructive behavior or disrespect for human dignity." (Fox)

"Thrown under the bus by the system we trusted"? A "hate crime"? "Destructive behavior"? "Disrespect for human dignity"? Have they lost their f-ing minds? Perhaps, but I have some timely observations which might save the day.

Apparently - I'm as shocked as you must be - The Politically Incorrect Gazette isn't required reading at the Air Force Academy. My STFU Top Story has all the answers they need, but, tragically, nobody is paying attention.

If PIG was required reading at this institution, this caterwauling pagan, Tech. Sgt. Brandon Longcrier, the primary pinhead who venerates the 'holy' rock pile, wouldn't be acting like an utter and complete ass. Instead of blubbering that his group had been "thrown under the bus by the system we trusted" and 'victimized' by a "hate crime", he would be busy learning this Properly-PIGish Pagan Ritual: Just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.

If PIG was required reading at the Air Force Academy, the brass wouldn’t be setting their hair on fire, ordering investigations, and bloviating about "destructive behavior" and "disrespect for human dignity". Instead, in addition to testing the local water supply for mind-altering substances, they would alleviate that painful knot in their knickers with this can’t miss FSOP solution: Just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hum REAL LOUD, and GET OVER IT.

Holy Crap
Source: PIG News Wire [01/29/10]

A Rosary True Believer priest - he plies his trade in Illinois at St. Andrew's Catholic Church in Christopher and St. Mary's Catholic Church in Sesser - needs to brush up on his Tome, in general, and two passages, in particular:

"It is more blessed to give than to receive."

"Thou shalt not steal."

This soul wrangler may, or may not, have a hint about the first passage, but he hasn’t got a clue on the second:

WEST CITY, Ill. – A Roman Catholic priest was accused of shoplifting butter and a sofa cover at a Wal-Mart in southern Illinois. Police arrested 41-year-old the Rev. Steven Poole on Friday. He's charged with two felony theft counts. Investigators said Poole failed to scan a $3.22 container of butter and a $60 sofa cover at a self-checkout. Poole then allegedly went to the store's bedding section, picked up a memory foam mattress and switched the pricing bar code. That caused the $145 item to be scanned for $31.

Allegedly, Poole also possessed a stolen laptop computer power pack. (Yahoo News)

Stevie’s willingness to help himself to someone else’s worldly goods is a good start on a new career. He’s one pesky tax cheat rap away from an enriching career in the Obama administration.

Supernaturalism-Inspired Whining
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [01/29/10]

The ‘Devil’ Made Him Do It
A Contra Costa County (Mexifornia) dude, Arthur Mijares, is obsessed with ‘The Devil’. No, not THAT devil, but he seems to have unresolved ‘issues’ with HIM, too. In this case, the Devil in question is a 3,849 prominence called Mount Diablo.

After trying, and failing, to change this devilish name, in 2005, Arthur is running his idea to change the mountain’s name up the federal flagpole - United States Board on Geographic Names - again.

In 2005, he attempted to change the name to Mount Reagan, but the board, citing its Commemorative Naming Policy, told him the late president needed to be dead for at least five years before receiving such an honor. The former California governor died June 5, 2004.

Mijares argued that the devil, or "diablo," was a "living person" so that name should also be prohibited. He eventually settled on three alternative options: Mount Yahweh, Mount Miwok or Mount Ohlone. The federal board denied all three options, citing the negative recommendations from the supervisors and other agencies, many with Mount Diablo in their names.

This go-round, Mijares petitioned for Mount Reagan from the start, now that the late Republican is eligible.

"The Commemorative Name (Mount Reagan) speaks for itself," wrote Mijares to the board. He also included a Wikipedia entry for the late president with his application. (Contra Costa Times)

As usual I have several takes on this lunacy.

* Arthur needs to get over it, or, if that’s impossible, he should MOVE.

* Has Arthur considered the fact that, to many of Mexifornia’s indigenous moonbats, Ronald Reagan IS the Devil, making this name change a distinction without a difference?

* If Arthur wants to expunge some REAL devils from Mexifornia, he should head for Sacramento, where the demon’s spawn in the state senate just passed a bill that would eradicate ALL free parking spaces from the no longer ‘Golden’ State.

* Does Arthur have similar issues with - GASP - DEVIL’s FOOD CAKE? Does he want it named after the Gipper, too?

Grow a pair, Arthur.

Similar Brainfart, Different Perspective
A noted supernaturalist, Mother Teresa, will be ‘honored’ by the USPS with a stamp, due out on August 26, 2010. She’s not the first supernaturalist so honored - Father Flanagan, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, and Nation of Islam icon Malcolm X already blazed that USPS trail.

No harm, no foul? It is to this pagan scribbler, but those Evangelizing Atheists, The Freedom From Religion Foundation, are having a hair-incinerating boycott spawning hissy fit over it. It’s not their first such hissy fit. They got pissy about Father Flanagan’s stamp, too, but - not wanting rampaging Ethnocrats crawling up their butts - they let the Martin Luther King and Malcolm X stamps slide, deeming the two Melanin-Enriched dudes, ‘civil rights leaders’.

Freedom from Religion Foundation spokeswoman Annie Laurie Gaylor says issuing the stamp runs against Postal Service regulations.

"Mother Teresa is principally known as a religious figure who ran a religious institution. You can't really separate her being a nun and being a Roman Catholic from everything she did," Gaylor told FoxNews.com.

Gaylor said the atheist group opposed Father Flanagan's stamp but not those for King and Malcolm X, because she said they were known for their civil rights activities, not for their religion.

Martin Luther King "just happened to be a minister," and "Malcolm X was not principally known for being a religious figure," she said.

"And he's not called Father Malcolm X like Mother Teresa. I mean, even her name is a Roman Catholic honorific."

Gaylor said Mother Teresa infused Catholicism into her secular honors — including an "anti-abortion rant" during her Nobel Prize acceptance speech — and that even her humanitarian work was controversial.

"There was criticism by the end of her life that she turned what was a tiny charity into an extremely wealthy charity that had the means to provide better care than it did," Gaylor said. "...There's this knee jerk response that everything she did was humanitarian, and I think many people would differ that what she was doing was to promote religion, and what she wanted to do was baptize people before they die, and that doesn't have a secular purpose for a stamp." (Fox)

It’s a STAMP, just a STAMP. If you want to get pissy about something, someone, why not paint a bull’s-eye on Americans most infamous cult leader, a Dumbo-eared Marxist with delusions of messianic grandeur? If you’re not up to that challenge, then do what you’ve gotta do....but do it QUIETLY. Your caterwauling is pissing me off.

Satan Sets Pat Robertson Straight?
Source: PIG News Wire [01/22/10]

If you’ve been paying attention, you’re familiar with Pat Robertson’s headline spawning prose about the real reason Haiti was hit with an earthquake:

[S]omething happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French, uh you know Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French. True Story. And so the Devil said "Okay, it's a deal." And they kicked the French out. You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other, desperately poor. That island is Hispaniola is one island. It's cut down the middle. On one side is Haiti, on the other side is the Dominican republic. Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc.. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island. Uh, they need to have, and we need to pray for them, a great turning to God and out of this tragedy. I'm optimistic something good may come.

What many of you may not know, is that Satan himself set Pat straight, in this letter to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune.

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

Why, you ask, is Satan hanging out in a real winter place like Minnesota? Given the conditions ‘down there’, he’s one dude who can fully appreciate the bone-chilling cold of a Globally-Warmed, ice age-class winter.

Color-Coded Morality Nazis
Source: AFP [01/15/10]

I’m trying to be thrilled over the news that India has its own Morality Nazi pestilence to make life thrilling for any stray rational adults in the home of color-coded citizenry. If you need to put them on a sliding scale of Morality Nazi mania, the Indian variety lies between Donald Wildmon and Brent Bozell on the low end and the Sand Box/Taliban asshats on the high, lunatic fringe, end of the scale.

Our color-coded funsters belong to Sanskriti Bachao Manch (Save the Culture Forum), a hardline Hindu organization in Madhya Pradesh's capital city, Bhopal. The element of objective reality that has their knickers in a painful knot is, ironically enough, lingerie. These paragons of virtue know such things exist, but they won’t tolerate having shopkeepers deploying them in ‘raunchy’ advertisements or on display window mannequins.

These Hindu hammerheads demand that shopkeepers clean up their act, OR ELSE:

‘...[The knickers phobic knuckleheads] have threatened to seize and burn any visible knickers or bras on Monday.

"Three days from now if undergarments are still hanging outside, we will light a bonfire of the lingerie," the forum's leader Chandra Shekhar Tiwar told AFP on Friday. "No hanging of underwear in public," he added.

The group said in its first warning to shopkeepers on Wednesday that they should keep lingerie in boxes and only show this to customers when they asked. On Thursday, members of the group tore down posters advertising coffee-flavoured condoms and sexual-dysfunction therapy centres as part of their campaign to protect "traditional Indian values."

They also asked cinema owners not to put up posters of film stars in "offensive" clothes and postures. On Monday, the state's chief minister, Shivraj Singh Chouhan from the Hindu BJP party, also ordered municipal authorities across the state to remove the advertising hoardings of a spa massage centre. A police case was registered against the spa owner for displaying what the chief minister called "obscene" advertising displaying a woman's bare back...’

These smugly sanctimonious Morality Nazis give me a pain where the sun doesn’t shine. These assholes can bray about their piety until the sacred bovines answer the dinner bell, for all the good it will do them. I see no difference between their bullshit and the older than dirt protection racket which is perpetrated by head breaking, gangster, scumbags who don’t put on these holy roller airs.

How many times must I repeat this: the inherent ‘right’ not to be offended DOES NOT EXIST.

A Religion of Peace Twofer
Source: PIG News Wire [01/08/10]

Tooned For Revenge In Denmark
Armed with an axe and a knife, a 28-year-old Somali Jihadikaze invaded the home occupied by 75-year old Danish cartoonist, Kurt Westergaard on a Friday evening. This religion of peace piece of crap was NOT there for a chat. In fact, in the name of his peaceful religion, this Jihadikaze scumbag was determined to, forcibly evict Kurt from the human gene pool, because of Kurt’s legendary Mohammad cartoon.

Mr. Westergaard, 75, who had his 5-year-old granddaughter on a sleepover, called the police and sought shelter in a specially made safe room in the house, the police said.

Officers arrived two minutes later and tried to arrest the suspect, who wielded an ax at a police officer. The officer then shot the man.

Mr. Westergaard could not be reached for comment. According to his employer, the newspaper Jyllands-Posten, Mr. Westergaard said the assailant had shouted “revenge” and “blood” when trying to enter the room where he and his grandchild had sought shelter. (New York Times)

In a perfect world, the proper authorities would have gunned this Jihadikaze rat bastard down like a dog, when he ‘tried to escape’. Tragically, they only wounded this scumbag, so this murdering piece of shit will live to try, try again.

Elections Have Deadly Consequences
The Jihadikazes smell blood in the water, after Uncle Sam, electorally, slashed his own wrists by putting the Appeaser-In-Chief in charge of the war with murdering Mecca Maniac rat bastards. Sensing that the tide of war has turned, in his favor, Osama, and his minions, are ready, willing, and eager to relocate the front lines of the war inside the Great Satan’s own borders.

A top counterterrorism official is warning that Al Qaeda and other extremists are working to test U.S. defenses and launch an attack on American soil. National Counterterrorism Center Director Michael Leiter says the failed Christmas Day attempt to bring down a U.S. airliner is the starkest reminder of that threat.

Leiter said in a statement Saturday that officials "know with absolute certainty" that Al Qaeda and others are trying to refine their methods.

The center is part of the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. It draws experts from the CIA, FBI, Pentagon and other agencies who try to ensure that clues about potential attacks are not missed. Terrorism expert Harvey Kushner of Long Island University said a significant concern is that many U.S. airports don't currently have the necessary technology to protect flights from the type of explosives attack attempted on Christmas. (Fox)

Neal Boortz is right, when he warns that ‘elections have consequences’. In this instance, the primary consequence will be hundreds, perhaps thousands, of dead Americans who will get murdered inside our own nation. Those Americans will die, because Messiah Barry is too busy admiring his own reflection in the mirror to perform his number one job: keeping Americans safe from murderous Jihadikaze rat bastards.

Apparently, Mecca Maniac peace is achieved, when all of the infidels - especially Americans - are dead. I know it and you know it, but why is this breaking news to the moonbats who infest our nation’s capitol?

Rapturous News
Source: PIG News Wire [12/31/09]

After crunching the numbers, a ‘bible scholar’, 88 year old Harold Camping, has sounded the all clear on the Mayan Doomsday. In fact, if you bring up the subject to Harold, he airs a ‘hearty chuckle’. Why? You’ll be thrilled.

December 21, 2012 is, Harold assures us, no big deal. For starters, Harold insists that it’s a date without ‘one stitch of biblical authority’. Furthermore, by that date, it will all be over and done, except for the shouting. Why? Harold and his abacus ran the numbers and calculated the REAL end of the world: May 21, 2011. Game, set, match? Perhaps.

However...

This isn’t the first time that Harold has crunched some numbers and arrived at an important, Cross Cult Calendar Calculation:

On Sept. 6, 1994, dozens of Camping's believers gathered inside Alameda's Veterans Memorial Building to await the return of Christ, an event Camping had promised for two years. Followers dressed children in their Sunday best and held Bibles open-faced toward heaven.

But the world did not end. Camping allowed that he may have made a mathematical error. He spent the next decade running new calculations, as well as overseeing a media company that has grown significantly in size and reach. (S.F. Gate)

Since I need a confirmation from our Professor of Piety, PIGster J, I’ll help him out, by passing along the key elements of Harold’s Doomsday Math, as reported by S.F. Gate:

By Camping's understanding, the Bible was dictated by God and every word and number carries a spiritual significance. He noticed that particular numbers appeared in the Bible at the same time particular themes are discussed.

The number 5, Camping concluded, equals "atonement." Ten is "completeness." Seventeen means "heaven." Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011.

"Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.," he began. "Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that's 1,978 years."

Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days - the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.

Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.

Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.

"Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story. It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved. I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that," Camping said.

Another Tome expert, James Kreuger, points out that Harold’s math doesn’t mesh with a famous Tome verse:

"For all his learning, Camping makes a classic beginner's mistake when he sets a date for Christ's return," Kreuger wrote in an e-mail. "Jesus himself said in Matthew 24:36, 'Of that day and hour knows no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my father only.'"

May 21, 2011? December 21, 2012? I think they’re both wrong. For this land conceived in liberty, we’ve already had our Doomsday: January 20, 2009. Somehow, neither Harold Camping nor James Kreuger spotted that one.

Grinch Glut
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [12/25/09]

Grinches were out in force, this year, in the final days, before the Jolly Old Elf made his epic flight around the world.

Item: The ‘Tinsel Taliban’
A Brit court, the Warwickshire Justice Centre in Nuneaton, has banned tinsel and other decorations. The usual suspects insist that it has nothing to do with notoriously tolerant Mecca Maniacs. Hambo responds: What a load of camel crap!

The Daily Mail spewed out these Grinchy tidbits:

[T]he Government denied the charge that the ban had been put in place to ensure Muslims were not offended. They said it was because they would be insensitive for criminals to have to pay fines in a room surrounded by tinsel.

However, one courts worker wrote to community cohesion minister Sayeeda Warsi to say he had been told the ban had been imposed because tinsel would 'break the Court Service Diversity Policy'.

This commits court service managers to 'creating a culture where equality and diversity forms an integral part of everyday working life' and 'incorporating equality and diversity into day-to-day management activities'.

Baroness Warsi spoke out after receiving a letter from a worker at the centre who said: 'I work as an admin officer in the county court and we have been told that we can't put tinsel around our counter window as it might offend other religions, according to HMCS diversity policy.'

Tinsel gives law breaking buttheads a boo-boo? Grinch shit!

Item: Southern-Fried Grinchiness
Demonstrating their long reach, the professional Grinches at the Wisconsin-based Freedom From Religion Foundation, went godlessly Grinchey over a nativity scene in a Charleston (South Carolina) fire station.

[The whining pissants] sent a letter dated Dec. 17 to Mayor Joe Riley and Fire Chief Thomas Carr notifying them of the city's Constitutional breach and requesting removal of the creche from the fire station. The letter expressed dismay that the problem has occurred for at least six years. A local resident had complained to the organization about the creche, the letter states.

"As you are aware, this display has been erected each year in December since at least 2004," wrote Freedom From Religion Foundation staff attorney Rebecca S. Kratz. "Last year's display included an illuminated Latin cross (the preeminent symbol of Christianity) atop the firehouse roof. We were pleased to learn that as of the date of this letter, the Fire Department appears to be honoring the separation of church and state by at least not displaying a Latin cross this year." (Fox)

Our Professor of Piety, PIGster J, will be pleased to learn that, although the fire station removed the nativity scene, a white, illuminated, cross is still on display, next to the stone memorial for 9 firefighters who died in a 2007 fire.

Item: Health & Safety Asshats Diss Deer
Eager to spice up the Christmas shopping season, the relevant officials in Market Harborough (East Midlands, J.O.E.) lined up a dozen reindeer to make a personal appearance. No harm, no foul? You know better:

[Health & Safety asshats] banned the animals from parading round the town square after ruling it was too dangerous --because it might snow. Officials put up posters saying: 'There is a risk of slips and falls to attendees at the event, when the conditions get worse.' (Daily Mail)

Somehow, the mere presence of reindeer makes ice and snow covered sidewalks slippery? That’s bullshit, and at least one rational Brit adult agrees:

Malcolm Lever-Jones, independent traders' spokesman, said: 'It is health and safety gone barmy and completely ruined the festive mood. Hundreds of people had come from up to 40 miles away and were dreadfully disappointed. The council said there was a risk of snow and ice to pedestrians but with or without the reindeer the streets were still icy. None of the town centre was cordoned off. It just made no sense." He estimated the cost to the taxpayer of cancelling Friday's event at around £10,000. (Daily Mail)

This just in! Ice is slippery. Film at 11!

Item: Angel Jihad In Mexifornia
Our Grinch is a disabled, 65 year old Marine veteran who should be thanked for his service then told to STFU when he’s feeling Grinchy.

Stars and other religious emblems were ordered removed from Christmas trees in all government buildings in Sonoma County on Monday following a complaint by Irv Sutley, a disabled 65-year-old Marine veteran who said the symbols were "extremely offensive" and part of the "cult" of Christianity.

"I just don't believe government has the right to intrude on anyone and force them into sectarian behavior," Sutley told FoxNews.com. "I've opposed Buddhist statues, the star of David — anything of a religious nature."

Sutley said he filed the complaint with acting County Administrator Chris Thomas on Dec. 18 after noticing an angel atop a six-foot tree in the lobby of the county recorder's office. Sutley, a lifelong atheist and chairman of the county's Peace and Freedom Party, said he visited the office last week for his re-election bid next June. (Fox)

Since this one came from a Professor of Piety tip, I’ll let him have the final word.

Do you have a “bitter, hard hearted jerk” award? If you do, I nominate this guy. Sheesh. What a pity he doesn’t devote all that energy to bettering his fellow man instead of stepping on them.

Item: Cross Cult Tolerance
Admittedly, the lion’s share of Grinch outbursts are perpetrated to secularists, ACLU scumbags, and/or atheists, all of whom desperately need to get a life. There is, as this item demonstrates, the occasional exception, when some Cross Cultist leaves his ‘turn the other cheek’ in his other pants.

The seasonal bone of contention in this one isn’t a nativity scene, a menorah, or a cross, it’s a dose of snarky seasonal prose perpetrated by our old pals, the Freedom From Religion Foundation:

"At the time of the winter solstice, let reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is just myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds."

The prime mover in this tale of tolerance is one of Messiah Barry’s Land of Lincoln homeboys, a - GASP - conservative activist who is a candidate for Illinois state comptroller. His name is William J. Kelly, and he’s, apparently, a steadfast believer in the right - HIS RIGHT, OF COURSE - not to be offended. Billy whines that the sign "mocks religion", making it, in his fevered brain, HATE SPEECH: "I don't think the State of Illinois has any business denigrating or mocking any religion and I think that's what the verbiage on the sign was doing."

Unwilling to tolerate the presence of words he didn’t want to hear, Big Bad Billy tried to put the offensive - to him - words out of his misery:

William J. Kelly announced Tuesday that he planned to take down the sign put up by the Freedom from Religion Foundation, and on Wednesday, he tried to make good on his plan. But Kelly said when he turned the sign around so it was face down, state Capitol police were quick to escort him away.

Illinois Secretary of State's office spokeswoman Henry Haupt said Kelly was escorted from the rotunda by state Capitol police, who briefly detained him, wrote an incident report, and directed him to leave the building. "It doesn't matter how we feel about the message on a display," Haupt said. "Our obligation is to protect the property within the state Capitol building, and we would do the same for any other display." (CBS)

Billy, dude, I have a hot flash for you. Speech is NOT limited to what you want to hear. It’s time to get over yourself, smugly sanctimonious Sparky.

Morality Meathead Twofer
Source: PIG’s Golden Oinks [12/18/09]

Little Donny Wildmon
Eager to be ‘inclusive’, at this festive time of the year, the Educrats running Lantern Road Elementary School in Fishers, Indiana, decided to let everyone strut their holiday stuff during a program mounted by the school’s second graders. In addition to Christmas and Hanukkah, the presentation included salutes to Ramadan, Las Posadas, and Kwanzaa. No harm, no foul? It should have been, but wasn’t.

When they heard that the program included the phrase "Allah is God", the usual suspects went postal on the Lantern Road Elementary Educrats, who promptly beat a hasty retreat. The usual suspects, in this case, are Donny Wildmon’s American Family Association, who had a memorable, Islamikazes in the woodpile, meltdown over "Allah".

The fun fact about "Allah" is that it’s nothing more sinister than the Arabic word for God. Furthermore, it is NOT restricted to Arabic speaking Mecca Maniacs, since it is used by Arabic-speaking Jews, Christians, and assorted other, Arabic-speaking, supernaturalists.

L. Brent Bozell III
Unwilling to let Little Donny Wildmon hog the Morality Meathead spotlight, Brent Bozell unleashed his PTC (Parents Television Council) minions on their favorite whipping boy, ‘Family Guy’. ‘Family Guy’ again? You better believe it, Morality Muzzle Sparky.

The Parents Television Council has filed an indecency complaint against Family Guy, a show that is frequently in PTC's dog house over its edgy content. This time, PTC is complaining about the Dec. 13 episode featuring a scene with a stripper giving a lap dance to Peter's father-in-law.

"Apparently Fox must believe that because the program is animated it can air anything it wants on Family Guy no matter how inappropriate or indecent..." said PTC President Tim Winter. (Broadcast & Cable)

If a lap dance on an animated boob tube show is the biggest problem the PTC can find in this first year of the Obamunist Error, Brent needs to pull his head out of his ass. Our inalienable individual liberty is under unrelenting assault, from sea to shining sea, and a cartoonish lap dance is your biggest beef. Wake the f**k up!

Strange Doings In North Carolina
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [12/10/09]

As far as a majority of the relevant chad punchers were concerned, Cecil Bothwell was the best man for an up for grabs slot on a North Carolina city council. After election day, Cecil’s political career hit a speed bump named H. K. Edgerton, who is the former president of Ashville’s NAACP chapter. I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not THAT.

Edgerton’s beef with Cecil isn’t racial, as far as I can tell. It is, according to Edgerton, supernatural. Edgerton is using the North Carolina state constitution to black flag Cecil because Cecil is - TA DA - an atheist:

Article 6, section 8 of the state constitution says: “The following persons shall be disqualified for office: First, any person who shall deny the being of Almighty God.” (Hot Air)

It is, as Edgerton insists, state law. If Cecil takes the matter to court, it's a state law that's is probably going to get nuked. Why? We've already traveled down this road. In 1961, the Supreme Court overturned Maryland’s ‘constitutional bar for public office on religious affiliation’. Cecil will probably win this one, in the LONG run, but short term, his prospects aren’t as bright.

If there is going to be a religious litmus test for elected office, there’s only one way that it passes muster for this pagan scribbler. The religious litmus test I have in mind would be imposed, by each individual voter, when he, she, heshe, or it enters the voting booth. All other forms of this bullshit are loathsome.

When it comes to religious litmus tests, North Carolina’s ban on atheists is no better than the bans on Christians and/or Jews in nations controlled by Mecca Maniacs.

When you cut through all the crap, and focus on the basics, the issues at hand are clear. We are forced to choose between a nation built upon inalienable individual liberty, and a nation dominated by the mercurial whims of a tyrannical majority. For those who give a damn, I’ll flesh out this point, by citing a passage, or two, from a venerable pagan scribbler rant.

This uniquely American doctrine of inalienable individual liberty was, eloquently, set forth in the Declaration of Independence. Later, our Constitution imposed explicit restrictions on the government’s activities, placing our inherent, individual rights, our birthright, beyond the reach of aspiring tyrants. The central, non-negotiable fact of American life is that a sovereign individual’s inalienable rights cannot be voted away, nor are they subservient to a tyrannical majority’s mercurial moods. Too often, we lose sight of the essential truth that individual liberty is not a popularity contest, nor is it determined by opinion polls. The underlying concept that forms the our country’s foundation is not, never has been, whatever the majority wants is cool. The Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and the Bill of Rights were not written to enforce the majority’s fickle whims. These documents were specifically written to protect the inalienable rights of the minority from the tyranny of the majority, especially if said minority is one sovereign individual.

It’s always easier to steadfastly defend the inalienable rights of individuals with whom we agree. The real test of our principles comes, when we must steadfastly defend the inherent, inalienable rights of someone with whom we vehemently disagree. This clash between inherent, individual liberty and one’s personal beliefs is most contentious, if religion is involved. Too many American true believers feel that their visceral, religious obsession automatically repeals the inherent, inalienable rights of sovereign, non-believing individuals. Our birthright of inalienable, individual rights is not, cannot be, negated by the prevailing supernaturalism of the majority. None of America’s ‘god-fearing’ founding fathers would deem it a proper role for the government that they toiled so hard to create to infringe on the inalienable rights of a sovereign atheist individual.

Parting shot: If this religious litmus test stands, it’s a very slipper slope which inexorably pulls all of us down into a gaping chasm, named tyranny.

Cherry Mama Visit Aftershocks
Source: Golden Oinks [12/04/09]

If you’re a veteran PIGster, you’ll remember a pair of stories about a highly-publicized Cherry Mama personal appearance in Knock (Ireland). You’ll be thrilled to learn that the festivities left a lasting impression on the thousands who attended this Cherry Mama encounter. How lasting? According to an article in Discover magazine, it made a VERY lasting impression on some of the attendees, who spent quality time staring at the Sun, where Cherry Mama was strutting her celestial stuff.

In this case, the name of the impression is ‘solar retinopathy’, which is - TA DA - damage to the eye resulting from staring directly at the SUN.

Dr Eamonn O’Donoghue, a consultant ophthalmologist surgeon in University Hospital Galway, says the hospital would usually see one case of solar retinopathy “at most” per year.

However, this year there have been five such cases, all of which have been linked to events at Knock.

Dr O’Donoghue said people needed to be warned of the condition as it was “potentially very, very dangerous” and could cause long-term damage to the most vulnerable part of the eye.

“These people came in because they have had a significant reduction in their vision and they could very well be a smaller representative sample,” Dr O’Donoghue said, adding that two of those who had presented to the hospital had also reported that other members of their families had suffered visual damage. (Discover Magazine)

Faith shall move mountains? Perhaps, but it won’t save your eyes from harm if you stare directly at the Sun.

Closing Its Doors
Source: Hambo’s Hammer [12/03/09]

Until it hit the fan, writer, documentary film maker, and sometimes radio host, John Ziegler was Tiger Woods’ biggest fan. In fact, John seemed to have a Chris Matthews class, leg tingling, man crush on Tiger, before his hero shamed him back to sanity:

John Ziegler, the pastor of the "First Church of Tiger Woods" -- www.tigerwoodsisgod.com -- has announced in a statement on the blog that the organization is being dissolved because of the golfer's "personal sins."

The church, whose home page has now been rechristened "The Damnation of Tiger Woods,"was launched by radio host Ziegler in 1996 to "celebrate the emergence of the 'true messiah.'"

However the lurid revelations that have swirled around Woods since last week have left Ziegler so disenchanted that he is now ending his church, which has its own "Prayer for Tiger" and "Ten Tiger Commandments."

"After several days of evaluation, I have decided to disband the First Church of Tiger Woods," Ziegler wrote. "Tiger is clearly no longer deserving of being seen as a role model or a hero and he has needlessly squandered his unique potential to be a positive force in our country and the world. "While I am relatively sure that Tiger will make a comeback from this sad episode and that there will be great moments for him in the future, I personally am done with Tiger Woods." (AFP)

Is this the end for Johnny and his beloved Tiger, or can these two crazy kids patch things up? It’s stay tuned time in Hamboland.

 

E-Mail Comments To: pig@pigazette.com

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •